No.

Two letters

Two letters that drove Dan crazy for weeks.

What did Phil mean no? No he didn't want to marry Hazel? No Dan was wrong and that was exactly what he wanted? No he wasn't happy? No what?

Dan never mustered up the courage to ask Phil to elaborate, and Phil never offered to.

Things were tense, to say the least, for they had been for many months now. It was almost as tense was the new normal around the apartment. Wedding planning was in full swing, that being almost the only topic that was discussed among the group nowadays. Colors, who to invite, who not to invite, menus, place settings, the list went on and on. Dan didn't care about any of these things, none of them particularly pertained to him, but somehow he always got dragged into it for his opinion. This annoyed him, but he did his best not to let it show too badly. He just imagined it was his wedding, his and Ph- No, he couldn't think like that. Thinking like that would do him no good, it would probably just hurt him more anything. He knew this, but he wasn't so sure he cared at this point.

Without Phil, his life wouldn't be what he wanted it to be. He had tried to get past this, many times, he had gotten engaged, been on many dates, hooked up with some guys, and nothing worked. Everything in his life came back to Phil. The man he had wanted to be his from the time he was an 18 year old kid watching him through a screen. And now this man he had wanted nearly half of his life was getting married to someone else. A former friend of Dan's, someone who hadn't done anything to him, but now he couldn't stand to be in the same room with her. He didn't even want to look at her, just because Phil had picked her over him.

As the wedding creeped closer, Dan realized as best man he would have to start to plan his things. Speech, he could figure that out, talk about his good times with Phil, maybe make a few kind remarks about Hazel, he would manage. Bachelor party? Now that didn't seem his speed, or like something he would like. Bachelor parties, in the wise words of Joey Tribianni, are "a grand tradition," So he knew he had to throw the best one. Stereotypically, there would be strippers and booze, but none of that seemed very Phil-like. Phil wasn't drunken nights and throwing ones at half-naked girls. He was coffee at midnight with Netflix on the TV. But none of that seemed very bachelor party-like.

"Phil," Dan called one day from the lounge, "I have a question."

Within seconds, Phil appeared, still dressed in pajamas even if it was late afternoon, "Anything you need," He said, sitting on the opposite end of the couch from him.

"Bachelor party?" He said, barely looking up from the laptop he was looking at, "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know," Phil replied with a shrug, "You're the best man, you figure it out," He teased with a smile.

It took all of Dan's strength not to roll his eyes, but he did sigh, "Okay. I'll figure it out," He said quietly, "You can go."

As soon as Phil was out of the room, Dan tilted his head back, quietly screaming into the oblivion in front of him. Once he calmed himself down enough, he went back to his research of things to do when your best friend's getting married but you don't want to go to a strip joint. Eventually he got it planned out. It would be a couple of days before the wedding, not traditionally the night before incase someone did end up horribly drunk, not too many people Martyn and a couple of their other close friends, and this was the exact plan: Hazel would be out with her friends, he wouldn't actually invite anyone else, he would get drunk, like super drunk, get Phil into the lounge or his bedroom, and he'd tell him everything he had wanted to tell him. The wedding would be off, he would get what he wanted and everything would be okay. Yeah everything was going to be okay.

Of course that wasn't the actual plan. The actual plan consisted of wine tasting, a big fancy dinner, some anecdotes, then when everyone was back at their hotels and it was just him and Phil at home, he would order Chinese and play video games just like they used to. Just like before Hazel.

Two nights before the big party, the day whenever everyone was suppose to come in, London and surrounding areas were hit with a big snow storm halting all traffic coming in and out of London, leaving Dan and Phil the only two people who would be able to attend this grand send off into married life. Along with that, Hazel was stuck in Paris with her friends. For the first time in what seemed like forever, they would be alone in the apartment for a night, and Dan was determined to make it count.

Thursday night, there was an array of leftover Chinese and pizza displayed on the coffee table. Mario Kart was on the TV ready to be played, and Dan was on one couch with Phil on the other. Dan's stomach was filled with everything from joy to dread, he didn't know what he was going to say, he didn't know how he was going to say it, but he knew he would have to find a way to do it. Halfway through the second game, and Dan was damn near last, something he never allowed himself to do. Phil paused the game and rolled on his side to look at Dan.

"Alright, what's wrong?" Phil asked, tucking a hand under his chin.

Dan barely looked from the screen to Phil as he shrugged, "Nothing," He replied.

"No, we're not playing that game today," Phil said as he moved from his couch over to Dan's, almost sitting on top of the other man, "Now, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Dan said again, palms starting to sweat as Phil sat next to him, "Can we get back to the game now? There's not gonna be any time to play video games when you're married and out of here," He almost whispered, looking away from Phil.

Phil frowned, looking over at Dan again, "What do you mean when I'm married and gone?"

"Well you're not going to want to live with me anymore when you're all married and starting a family. Why would you? Nobody wants some third-wheel to be hanging around literally all the time. I figured you'll leave, or you'll want me to leave. After all, the apartment's too big for just one person and I don't have another person to room with. I'll just find some one bedroom apartment, we'll see each other maybe twice a month, and you're life will be great and I'll just be alone for the rest of my life," Dan finally just let it all out, not realizing his eyes were getting misty.

Phil didn't know what to say, but he tried, "It's not gonna- why would you think like th- of course that's not going to happen," He blubbered on, trying to find the right words to say. Before he could figure it out, however, there was another mouth on his cutting his words off. He didn't have time to react before Dan had come to his senses and he finally pulled back.

"God, I'm so sorry," He apologized, words coming out faster than normal, "I don't know what came over me, you're getting married and I know that was way out of l-" Before Dan could finish, there was another mouth on his.

Phil's mouth.