Dan relished in that moment, that one moment that he had waited for since he was nineteen. In that moment, everything felt right. All of his fears and anxieties left his body, and he just lived in that one moment. Then it was over.
It was all over, and Dan could feel it. Everything that he had ever known was over.
Once they were no longer connected, silence filled the air between them for several seconds.
Several seconds full of giddy smiles and almost awkward laughter. Neither of them sure what to say. Neither of them really sure what had just happened.
Dan was convinced that he was in a dream; a damn good dream at that. Never in a million years had he ever thought that Phil would want to kiss him, especially with his wedding mere weeks away.
Wedding. Hazel. Phil was engaged. To somebody else, a woman at that, and there he had been kissing Dan not even a minute prior.
The thoughts all hit Dan like a flood, and he wanted nothing more than to stand. To get the hell out of the room, to go to his room, lock the door, and never come out. Even if the kiss had felt so right to Dan, he had no way of knowing how Phil felt about it. No way of knowing that just a few feet away from him, Phil was having similar anxiety of his own.
All of those things that Dan had thought of were true. He was engaged. To another person, a woman who he truly loved, yet he had kissed Dan without a second thought just moments before.
Both men stared back at one another, brown eyes meeting blue ones, as they both waited for the other to speak.
"So that was.." Phil finally started, only for the words to stop there. His mind running wild with what to say, but he was afraid he would choose the wrong thing and Dan would run away again.
"Yeah," Was all Dan said in reply, gaze casting downwards, afraid that if he finished the sentence he would finish it with the wrong adjective and screw it all up for them. Two minutes before he had been so sure that everything had changed. That everything was going to be perfect and that he'd finally get the happily ever after with Phil that he had been searching for his entire adult life. And he was right about one thing; everything had changed. Whether that would be for better or for worse, well, that was up to Phil.
Phil who just smiled. Smiled that damn smile that never failed to make Dan's heart drop to his stomach and back up again in a matter of seconds. Seeing as neither of them really had the words figured out quite yet, he stood from his spot on the couch. Stood and started to pick up the empty take out boxes, hands shaking, heart pounding as he did so. Trying to regain at least some normality as both of their heads spun. He was an engaged man, a man who had a ceremony space booked and a wedding band bought, but he had never felt the way he had when his lips had been on Dan's before. Continuing to steal glances every now and again at Dan, who still seemed to be in shock.
Really, what Dan was feeling could only be described as guilt. He had joked many times that he would be going to hell, but he was sure that he had truly earned himself a one way ticket whenever he kissed a man that was already sworn to somebody else. Somebody that truly, truly loved him. It was all almost too much for Dan to handle. His head feeling like it was going to explode as he tried to avoid the constant glances from his roommate.
Finally, the room was tidied once more, and Phil had figured out the words to say. Taking a seat on the same couch as Dan, although he made sure to keep his distance, not wanting to scare the younger boy away, Phil finally broke the silence that had managed to engulf them, "Hey," He started, nudging Dan softly until he looked over at him. Once their eyes met, all of the words that Phil had planned left his head, "I-I-You-I," Breathing deeply, he managed to find Dan's hand, lacing their fingers tightly together, "I love you," He finally said, laughing as the words left him. It was then he realized that those words had been true for a very, very long time, but he had been denying his feelings in fear of something happening and the two of them being ripped apart. But that kiss had been all the reassurance that he had needed, all the reassurance that they were truly meant to be together.
Dan's stomach flipped at the words, and he was sure that his mind was just playing tricks on him. There was no way Philip Michael Lester had just said such intimate words to him, but then again... He had kissed him. Looking up from under his eyelashes to look at Phil, eyes just a little watery, he tilted his head, "Really?" For someone who was usually so loud, the words had been soft, and more than unsure.
"I love you," Phil repeated with more confidence this time, his heart seizing at the thought that Dan would even have to question the sincerity of his words.
Dan couldn't help but shed a few tears as the words rang in his ears again and again. Words he had waited years to hear, words he thought he would only hear during cold nights where he let his mind wander, "I love you too," Wiping under his eyes, voice watery, but a wide smile spreading across his face. This was it. He was finally going to get his fairtytale, happily ever after moment.
Moving forwards on the couch until his body met Phil's, Dan didn't waste a second grabbing the other man by either side of his face, and pulling him to his lips. Not hesitating this time as their mouths moved against one another's. The first moment of the rest of their lives being one of the best.
Hazel was heartbroken, and of course there were tears, but ultimately she understood. In all honesty, she had kind of seen it coming; she just wished it had happened before having done things like bought a wedding dress. For a while it felt like there was a large hole in her life, although she was more than happy for the two men that had found love with one another. Ultimately, she did move on. Finding a man who truly wanted to marry her, and she finally got a chance to wear that wedding dress.
Dan and Phil's lives didn't drastically change, but they loved the little things that did change. The change in rooming arrangements and how Dan would sit in Phil's arms while they would play video games. Phil always blaming it on Dan whenever he would lose at Mario Kart. And needless to say, what was supposed to be Hazel and Phil's wedding hall didn't go to waste.
The two were often thankful for strange things- Mario Kart and Indian takeout- but they learned to always be appreciative of dark and stormy nights.
It took four years, but here this is in al its completed glory. I know I didn't update for like a year, but I got a review asking to know what happened, and I felt inspired. So here you go. Thank you all so much for reading this, you don't know how much it means to me.