Author's note:
First of all, happy belated Easter to all those who celebrate it. Second of all, a huge thank you to all those who've taken the time to read my story and leave reviews.
The special shoutouts of the week go to Valtieri, KSausage and Rocky. . As for KSausage's review, I must admit that it had me chuckle more than once. Also, it raised some interesting questions. Ramsay Bolton is one of my favourite characters from Game of Thrones (yes, I have a thing for psychos), but I'm afraid I didn't learn a lot from him throughout the years - hence the lack of mental torture on Agda. Actually, I think Ancano wouldn't have bothered using such powerful spells on her - after all, our girl looks like a tiny innocent healer with nothing to hide.
As for Agda's resistance to frost, I mainly blame that on her Nordic blood. I probably overdid things (it was rather unnatural for her to jolt awake as soon as the stranger pulled her out of the water), but I wanted to have a nice "I'm aliiiive" scene before ending the previous chapter. Also, I might have seen "The Revenant" (with Di Caprio hopping in and out of freezing waters unscathed) one too many times.
As for the Thalmor being Thalmor, one day I'd like to write something about that overused cliché. Speaking of which, Valtieri's review was as interesting as usual and allowed me to discover a very informative series of Youtube videos called "Elder Scrolls Lore". I watched the episode related to the High Elves and I must say that it got me very fascinated - at least now I understand why my sister is so in love with the Altmer and deeply dislikes all the other races. Therefore, I deeply thank Valtieri for the interesting tip.
Last but not least, I thank Rocky. for their fun reviews. Agda is definitely a fangirl, especially in the first part of the story. Also, I'm flattered (not) by your comparison between my fanfic and Twilight - after all, the only difference is that my vampires don't glow in the sunlight.
Anyway, back to business: this update presents us with the aftermath of Agda's torture. Also, it provides us with some information about her saviour. If at the end of the chapter you have some unanswered questions, worry not: I plan to explain more about Mystery Woman in the following instalment.
Enjoy!
3rd of Hearthfire, 4E 202
Agda didn't know where she was, just like she didn't know what was going on around her. Before she could open her eyes, the girl smelled the comforting scent of clean sheets, then she realized that she was resting on a comfortable mattress. There was something damp on her forehead, whereas another cold cloth was pressed against the right side of her face. At last, Agda noticed a light pinching sensation on her arm. For some strange reasons, she felt as though someone was stitching up a deep gash in her limb.
Willing to find out more about her whereabouts, Agda tried to open her eyes. Much to her dismay, that simple operation turned out to be incredibly complicated: one of her eyes was blocked by a bandage, whereas the lid of the other simply wouldn't obey her orders.
Agda heard a chair shift, then she felt a cold bottle being pressed against her lips. She made to squirm, but a firm hand gripped her jaw and forced her to gulp the liquid that was being poured into her mouth. The girl recognized the sour flavor of a healing potion and reveled in the feelings that washed over her as soon as the draught started working. Thanks to that vial, Agda eventually managed to raise one eyelid and observe her surroundings.
The young Nord realized that she was in a cozy room. There was a tall cupboard to her left, while opposite her bed was a closed wooden door. Before Agda could take in any more detail, a woman with very dark eyes suddenly came into her visual field.
As soon as she noticed the stranger, Agda's mind recovered a few memories - a snowstorm raging around her, her naked body shivering violently in the cold night of Winterhold, her blood staining the snow where she was laying. Eventually, the girl remembered the dark-eyed woman who'd saved her from the freezing waters of the Sea of Ghosts after she'd been tortured at length by Ancano.
"Who..."
"Not now", the stranger brusquely said. "You have to rest and stay still, otherwise you'll mess up my stitches".
Frowning, Agda looked at her body. She was covered by a rough woolen blanket, under which she could see a damp towel pressed directly against her front. A similar cloth was placed under her naked back, whereas more damp bandages wrapped a huge part of her face. As for her arms, the girl immediately realized that they were covered in deep scars that had already been stitched. Being a healer, Agda knew that such deep injuries could be caused only by a blade; as a consequence, she immediately understood that Ancano had created them by engraving her skin with his dagger. Luckily enough, for most of that operation she'd been completely unconscious.
Noticing the distressed look on Agda's face, the mysterious woman walked up to her and checked her temperature by laying a hand on her forehead. Pleased by the result, the stranger slumped down on a chair near the girl's bed. In that moment Agda noticed that her savior had a severe limp and seemed in pain every time she moved too fast. When her brain finally allowed her to form coherent thoughts, the mage realized that she was dealing with the very same woman she'd met in Winterhold two nights earlier. As she looked around, Agda blushed in embarrassement: after torturing her, Ancano had seemingly stolen Chillrend, the sword that belonged to her savior. That fact made her very unease.
"Chillrend..."
"If that Thalmor bastard thinks he can steal from me, he's about to have a nasty surprise", the stranger said with a strange sound that simultaneously resembled a snarl and a snort.
Agda frowned at the woman's confidence, and she frowned even more when she noticed the coldness radiating from her black eyes. Eventually, it was those cold black eyes that caused her to recall a distant conversation she'd had with Steinarius.
It was a cold rainy night in Riverwood and everyone in the Sleeping Giant was enjoying a good night of rest.
When Steinarius jolted awake all of a sudden, he found himself face-to-face with a very scared Agda. Before the girl could even realize what was going on, the Imperial had already buried his face in the crook of her neck.
"Another nightmare", the man explained with a shiver. "I-I'm sorry if I-I woke you".
Agda hushed him with a whisper, then cast a weak calming spell. The tremor in the Imperial's limbs immediately lessened.
"Here, drink some water", the girl suggested after reaching the tankard on the table thanks to a telekinesis spell.
Steinarius forced himself to take a few sips, then sighed as Agda rubbed his spine and covered his bare torso with a blanket. As she gently caressed her partner, the girl tried to hide her distress at being rosen four times in the previous two hours. Ever since his close encounter with a vampire, Steinarius couldn't get a full night of rest - and since Agda spent her nights with him, that meant that she couldn't sleep either.
"I'm sorry, Agds, I just can't stop those awful nightmares", Steinarius muttered. At that moment, he couldn't bring himself to look his lover in the eyes. "Ever since that vampire stabbed me…"
As Steinarius sheepishly trailed off, Agda hugged him again.
"It's alright, Stein, it's alright", she soothed him.
"It's not alright, Agds. It was alright the first time I woke you, but now…"
Agda forced Steinarius to lay on his back, then she leant towards him and gently stroked his blonde hair. When she realized that he was still upset, she kissed him softly on the lips, then she lovingly caressed his cheeks.
"Stein, it's not your fault if you can't sleep", she whispered upon breaking that contact. "When that creature attacked you, you probably came down with a weak form of Sanguinare Vampiris. The disease couldn't plant its root because of your beastblood, but it is affecting your dreams anyway. I guess that's what happens when a werewolf gets too close to a vampire".
Unlike Agda, Steinarius didn't believe that quick explanation.
"Vampires or not, you can't go on like this", he sighed as soon as the girl stopped talking. "Ever since we first slept together, I've been waking you up at least twice every night. It's not healthy for you to sleep so little. Also, it is downright unfair".
Agda tenderly smiled at her man's worries, then she kissed him again.
"Don't worry for me", she whispered with a very reassuring tone. "Just rest, alright?"
"I don't want to fall asleep", Steinarius protested, his grey eyes full of guilt and uneasiness and sadness. "If I do, I'll surely wake you again".
Amused by the Imperial's expression, Agda chuckled and laid down next to him. She placed her head on his chest, then she started tracing the pale lines of his scars, thus helping Steinarius relax. After a few minutes of those gentle ministrations, the man let out a sigh, then embraced his lover with his strong arms. From her position, Agda could feel that his heart was still drumming madly in the aftermath of his nightmare.
"I'm serious, Agds: you should really sleep in another room", Steinarius suggested when the girl closed her eyes in bliss. The words caused his chest to rumble with his voice. "If you stay, I'll wake you again".
"Then it means that I'll fall asleep again", Agda replied with a low chuckle.
Confronted with those words, Steinarius sighed in defeat.
"You're too good to me", he whispered as though he was talking to himself.
Agda smiled against his chest, then she took an important decision - given that nor she nor Steinarius were likely to get any more sleep, she thought it was high time he answered some of her questions.
"You dreamed of Vigdis again, didn't you?"
Steinarius visibly tensed. Yet, despite the nervousness caused by that question, he admitted that Agda was right. Fueled by that reply, the girl proceeded to enquire about the woman who still managed to bother her partner's troubled nights.
"What was she like?", Agda asked after gathering all her courage. "I mean, I know that Vigdis was a warrior and everything, but I'd like to find out more about her".
When Steinarius' arms tightened their grip on her body, Agda feared that he was going to ignore her question. Nonetheless, the Imperial eventually relaxed.
"What do you want to know?", he asked with a tired sigh.
Regretting her own audacity, Agda blushed.
"I don't know", she admitted. "Perhaps you could tell me what Vigdis looked like".
There was another long moment of silence, then Steinarius sighed again.
"When she first joined the Companions, Vigdis wasn't a striking beauty", he revealed. "She was too thin and too tall, had long dark hair full of knots, a sickly pale complexion and a very cold and suspicious atttitude. Then, however, she grew into a stunning warmaiden and a loyal shield-sister.
"In Jorrvaskr Vigdis found the time to look after herself, the chance to shape a healthy and muscular body, the confidence and the self-esteem to finally become friends with the people who lived with her. When I proposed to her, my fiancée was the most beautiful woman of Whiterun: she had wavy dark hair, a graceful yet imposing figure, perfectly chiselled traits and a very pale skin. But most of all, she had the most fascinating eyes I've ever seen: they were completely black and they reminded me of the starless nights of the North".
When Steinarius paused, Agda felt slightly unease.
"From what you say, Vigdis was a wonderful woman", she sheepishly pointed out.
Steinarius shrugged.
"Vigdis was beautiful, but she belongs in my past", he said. A second later, the Imperial tilted Agda's head towards him and looked into her deep brown eyes. "Now I have you, Agds", he added with a tender smile.
As his lips touched hers, Agda felt loved and happy and serene: although Steinarius couldn't sleep straight for more than two hours, she was sure that he was the perfect man for her.
The memory of that conversation caused Agda to feel a rush of rage at the way Steinarius had dumped her a few weeks later. When she was done mentally insulting the Dragonborn, the girl finally focused on his description of Vigdis.
The stranger who'd saved Agda was tall and imposing, had a very pale face and short dark hair that didn't reach her shoulders; although that last detail didn't match Steinarius' description of his former lover, the black eyes of the mysterious woman immediately reminded Agda of the starless nights of Skyrim. Frowning, the young mage tried to understand whether her suspicions were correct.
"Vigdis", she tentatively whispered when her swollen lips finally obeyed her.
At first, the mysterious woman didn't react. A second later, however, she rolled her eyes.
"I see that my fiancé hasn't failed to mention me to his latest love interest", she said with a snort.
Upon hearing those words, Agda deadpanned. Vigdis, Steinarius' long-lost fiancée, was very much alive; moreover, she had just saved her from the deadly embrace of the Sea of Ghosts. The mage now wondered why that cruel Nord had been that generous towards her, whereas she hadn't had any problem in breaking the heart of the man who once loved her above everything else.
Agda confusingly looked at the woman who'd just saved her life. Over the previous months the young healer had nourished mixed feelings towards Vigdis: Agda had hated her for breaking Steinarius' heart, she had envied her for the way she'd won the man's love for herself, she had pitied her for her injuries and her alleged death. Yet, now that the object of all those feelings had saved her life and was looking at her with an unreadable expression, the girl didn't know what to think.
"I suppose you'll have lots of questions", Vigdis said while crossing her arms. She was wearing a frown and looked slightly irritated by Agda' shocked expression.
Too confused and sore to talk, the mage nodded. Vigdis rolled her eyes, then she started pacing up and down the room.
For a moment, Agda thought that the warrior was deliberately ignoring her. A second later, however, the elder woman spoke.
"You're feeling better thanks to my potions", she abruptly explained. Agda noticed that Vigdis had a thick Nordic accent. "As a consequence, I'll exploit these few moments in which I have your undivided attention to tell you a thing or two about my life with Steinarius. If you start hissing in pain or your heartbeat suddenly worries me, I'll stop immediately. Are we clear?"
Frowning, Agda wondered how Vigdis could feel her heartbeat from the distance. A moment later, however, she remembered about the Companions' beast blood and got an answer to her own question.
With a light nod, the girl informed her savior that she was ready to listen to her explanations. Vigdis narrowed her eyes, then resumed pacing up and down the room. Agda had to admit that her martial demeanour was slightly frightening.
"I suppose that my husband told you that I heartlessly left him", Vigdis scoffed in a seemingly annoyed way. "Moreover, he probably told you about his efforts to make me feel loved and courted and protected after my accident, just like he probably described you how broken he was after I disappeared from his life. I'm right, aren't I?"
When she noticed Agda's confused look, Vigdis stopped walking.
"Don't worry if I call Steinarius my husband", she pointed out as soon as she understood why Agda looked so shocked. "I know that we weren't married, but that makes it easier for me to explain what happened between us - unlike him, I've never been particularly good with words".
When Agda's expression didn't change, Vigdis fought the urge to roll her eyes - the girl had probably thought that she meant to criticize Steinarius.
"When I say that my husband tried to make me feel loved and courted and protected after my accident with Arnbjorn, I really mean it", the black-eyed woman clarified while fighting the desire to snort. "Steinarius has many flaws, but he isn't a liar. Therefore, everything he told you about me is probably true".
"Yet... left..."
Before Agda's croaked voice could finish that sentence, Vigdis stopped her. The girl was feeling slightly better thanks to all the potions she'd poured down her throat, but needed to save up strength for the following hours - had Agda come down with an infection or had her injuries started bleeding again, she would have namely found herself in a very dangerous situation.
"I left Steinarius, yes", Vigdis admitted after deciphering the mage' slurred words. "After my accident, that man took care of me in an impeccable way; nonetheless, I broke his heart - and I'm sure that you think I'm a cold-hearted bitch for leaving him like I did".
Although Agda didn't say anything, her expression was very legible.
"I do not blame you for that", Vigdis shrugged when she noticed the girl's wordless accusation. "Nonetheless, I'd like you to know the reasons behind my decision: after all you've done for Steinarius, I guess you deserve an explanation for his problems in finding happiness with another woman".
Before Agda could voice her surprise for the way Vigdis seemed to know so much about her and the Dragonborn, the former Companion started recalling her past.
"I bet that Steinarius told you everything about my injuries, just like he probably told you about the death of our son and about the way he employed some of the best healers of Tamriel to heal my wounds", she began. "Yet, I think he never realized how his efforts for resuming our normal life actually made me feel".
There was a moment of silence, then Vigdis resumed talking. Agda noticed that, although she was trying to hide it, her black eyes were now full of nostalgia.
"When I fell in love with him, Steinarius was a cheerful and carefree man, a passionate and generous warrior, a kind and friendly shield-brother", the mysterious woman explained. "Back then Steinarius loved training the new whelps, drinking mead with his friends, hunting with me and the other Companions; he loved reading and smithing and singing and he dreamed of becoming a better fighter, a faithful husband, a proud and protective father to a bunch of brats who would play hide and seek with him all day long. Even if you met him only last year, I think you can understand how much he changed ever since I left him".
Agda frowned: the man Vigdis was describing seemed a completely different person from the Imperial she'd recently fallen in love with. Despite her close relationship to Steinarius, Agda namely had never heard him sing, just like she'd never seen him read a book or play with a child.
"Unlike Steinarius, I was never a cheerful person", Vigdis said, thus continuing her tale. "I'd suffered a lot during my childhood, therefore I had a lot of problems letting strangers into my life. Yet, Steinarius managed to break through my walls like a tornado. He made me feel loved and, despite the many divergencies between us, we soon found a perfect balance: Steinarius was talkative, I was silent; he was friendly, I was suspicious; he was polite, I was always too brusque. Despite our differences, we completed each other like the missing pieces of a puzzle: when Steinarius overdid things, I slowed him down - and when I was too mistrustful towards other people, he would help me open up to them. Even when fighting, he was the one to dive head first into battle, whereas I preferred sneaking around and relying on stealth. We were a perfect team, probably the best one the Companions had ever had".
When Vigdis paused, Agda tried to imagine that tall woman together with Steinarius. With his grey eyes and his blond hair, the man probably created a pleasant contrast to Vigdis's black irises and dark auburn mane. The girl had no trouble believing that in their youth the two of them had been the most beautiful couple of Whiterun.
"As you already know, my stubborness destroyed everything, as it led to my fight with Arnbjorn and to the death of my child", Vigdis sighed after a brief pause. "After discovering about Eidan's fate, I grew depressed - and even when I started getting better, I still felt guilty for destroying my life and Steinarius'".
"Yet... now..."
Confronted with Agda's tentative words, Vigdis burst into a bitter laughter.
"Now I'm perfectly healed, you say? Sadly for me, you're damn wrong, Agda".
While speaking, Vigdis produced a little vial from a pocket in her dark armor, then eagerly drank it. The consequences took Agda by surprise: now that the antidote hiding her injuries had ended its benefic effects, Vigdis' otherwise perfect features were disfigured by many scars. One went through her mouth, other ones crisscrossed her forehead, a last one traced its path through her left eyelid - the very same eyelid that covered a completely blind iris. Confronted with the woman' scarred face, Agda flinched in horror.
"It took me more than a year to create a potion that could hide my scars", Vigdis confessed. The woman limped across the room until she found a chair, then ungracefully slumped down on it. "By that time, I had already left Steinarius. After my run in with Arnbjorn, the poor thing was forced to see this horror every day".
"But... loved..."
"Steinarius loved me, of course he did", Vigdis said, thus ending that sentence on Agda's behalf. "The thing is, I loved him too. I loved him and after my accident I felt guilty for destroying his life, for preventing him from becoming a father, for ruining all his dreams of happiness and peace. Because of me, Steinarius abandoned the Companions, lost his son, was forced to spend most of his days by my side, feeding me and bathing me and soothing me whenever I had a nightmare or burst into tears because of my painful injuries.
"I knew that Steinarius didn't blame me for what happened, as from the very first moment he took that burden upon himself; I also knew that he was acting in good faith when he told me that everything would go back to normality. Nevertheless, every time I looked in his eyes, I couldn't help but think that I'd been the one to destroy his life".
There was a moment of silence during which Vigdis grabbed another potion and poured a reddish liquid into her mouth. As a consequence of that, her scars immediately began to fade.
"I've always been proud woman, Agda of Anvil", the former Companion said after pulling a disgusted face at the potion's flavor. "Therefore, after my accident I couldn't stand the thought of being a burden to someone; in particular, I couldn't stand the thought of being a burden to the man I loved above everything else in the world.
"Even after Eidan's death, Steinarius made sure I felt courted and safe and protected, he made sure I could rely on the best healers of Tamriel, he made sure I could receive all his love and affection; yet, I could see that he was sacrificing himself to a woman who'd been so stupid to ignore all his worries and suggestions, thus destroying his future and killing his son. Over the course of time I could see Steinarius' sword get rustier and rustier, I could see the joy fading from his eyes, I could see his dreams of glory turn into memories of a past when he was one of the best fighters of the Companions - and to me, that change was simply unbearable.
"Everything got much worse after the murder of King Thorygg. He and Steinarius had always been close friends, therefore my husband almost went mad with grief after receiving that news. Ever since then he began reading books about the Great War, he got more and more interested in politics, he even started dreaming of avenging the death of his friend.
"At first that change was really subtle: most of the time Steinarius would be as kind and loving as usual and, when asked about the war, he would tell me that his life was with me, in Whiterun, far from the battlefields and the dangers of the conflict. Yet, Steinarius soon started cursing the Stormcloaks with the members of the Battle-Born family, discussing the strategy of the Legion with the politicians from Dragonsreach, talking about Thorygg every time he met other Imperials. That's when I realized that, no matter how hard my husband was trying, his desire to fight in the war was much stronger than his wish to rebuild a quiet life with me - and as a warrior myself, I clearly couldn't blame him. Therefore, when one evening I heard Steinarius admit that he couldn't join the Legion because of me, I decided to leave Whiterun and never bother him again".
When Vigdis paused to take another sip from her potion, Agda couldn't help but feel sorry for her. It was clear that leaving Steinarius had been the most difficult decision in her life and that she still felt a lot of affection for that clumsy man.
"Back then I thought I was acting out of love",Vigdis admitted with a bitter chuckle. "By setting my husband free, I thought that he would easily find a new woman and a new purpose in life, thus forgetting about his wretched relationship with me. Unfortunately, by doing so I underestimated the strength of his feelings: Steinarius wanted to fight in the war, sure, but he wanted a quiet life with me above everything else in the world - and only after I left him did I realize that I wanted the very same thing.
"The first weeks after leaving my husband, I thought I was going mad", the Nord continued with a snort. As an effect of her potion, by now the scars on her face had completely disappeared. "Not only did I miss him every moment of my life - my beast blood also tried to bring me back to him even when I was asleep. You should namely know that, after a werewolf finds a mate, they usually live together until death does them apart".
Agda frowned. She knew about werewolves' legendary fidelity, but until then she'd thought it to be just a simple myth.
"How... after..."
"How did I survive after leaving Steinarius? It wasn't simple, Agda. Luckily enough, my werewolf senses soon started giving me some peace. Also, back then I could rely on some very special people".
As she said that, Vigdis produced a tiny little smile.
"I've never been a sociable person, therefore I've always had very few friends", she explained. "Among them there was Sapphire, a young thief I met shortly after joining the Companions.
"I first bumped into Sapphire upon entering Riften on my own and seeing a stable boy being bullied by a tall girl in leather armor. I usually don't get involved in that kind of arguments, but on that occasion the boy's expression was so desperate that I decided to step up for him and take his defense. The Nord girl insulted me, but she eventually let the poor guy be.
"That very same evening I was enjoying a tankard of mead after fulfilling a task near the city. All of a sudden, the Nord girl from earlier walked up to me and challenged me to a fight. Before we could get down to brawling, however, a red-haired man stopped us and forced us to settle our problems in a peaceful way - and ever since then, Sapphire and I have relied on each other on countless times.
"Given our close friendship, after my accident Sapphire started visiting me very often. The day after Steinarius said that he couldn't join the Legion because of me, my best friend happened to be in Whiterun. She noticed my distress and she understood that by remaining with my husband I was wasting my life in a vortex of guilt; at the same time, she agreed that I was preventing Steinarius from pursuing his dreams.
"When I realized that Sapphire had the same opinion as me, I asked her to help me elope from that desperate situation. My best friend wanted me to change my mind, but she eventually understood that I hadn't taken that decision lightly. As a consequence, she helped me escape from Whiterun while Steinarius was busy visiting a friend just outside the city gates".
There was a moment of silence, during which Agda thought she'd just seen a few tears well up in Vigdis' black eyes. She'd always thought that woman to be a heartless warrior who'd only cared for Steinarius' money and for his protection; yet, now that she'd met her, Agda realized that Vigdis still hadn't got over the abrupt end of her relationship with the Imperial.
Frowning, the mage wondered whether that fascinating black-eyed fighter was planning to resume her life with the Dragonborn. That thought sent a tingle of fear down her spine: although she'd tried so hard to deny it, Agda was still in love with Steinarius. With Vigdis around, however, she knew that she had no chance to win the man's affection for herself. Her rival was beautiful and brave and strong, was mysterious and proud and clever, had a very fascinating and intriguing attitude; she could fight, she could brew excellent potions, she could take important decisions without asking anyone for advice. Moreover, that proud woman looked like a passionate and protective lover. Compared to her, Agda felt slightly more interesting than a mudcrab.
As the the healing potions stopped working and darkness claimed her again, the young mage feared that her dreams of a happy life with Steinarius would never come true - and all because a fascinating ghost from his past had returned once again to undermine his future.