Author's note:
My dear readers, here we are with a new instalment. Before we get started, I deeply thank Valtieri for their review: Erandur will definitely get angry at Steinarius for bothering Agda, whereas the Imperial will get angry at himself for his lack of empathy (which, by the way, is a theme I'll face later on in the story). Speaking of reviews, I also thank Contrary to Popular Belief 3 for their kind words about my work. I'm so glad you're still on board! Moreover, I'm very happy you liked Vigdis' personality and that you noticed the way our "new and improved" Agda reacts when she's with Steinarius. That girl has definitely grown a lot since she left Riverwood! Also, don't apologize for not commenting on my story over the last few days: whereas I do adore reading people's opinions on my fic, I also realize that I update quite often, so it's not easy to keep up with the new instalments. Apropos, for the next ten days I won't be around, so I won't manage to post any new chapter. Don't worry, however: I have already written the next instalments of this story and I'm looking forward to posting them once I'm back in the tracks.
Anyways, back to business: in this chapter Agda will try to find a way to retrieve her memory - me, on the other hand, will try to present her reasoning in a logical way. Also, we'll find out more about what happened inside the Midden - as a consequence, there's another warning for torture.
Enjoy!
Edit: there were issues with my computer, so I had to update this story three times before I got it right. Sorry if I spammed your mail, and thank you for your patience!
Even after Steinarius left her room, Agda couldn't stop the tears that were trailing down her cheeks: even if she killed Alduin in his stead, that arrogant Imperial would always see her as a wimpy innkeeper who could do nothing but cook - and that fact made the girl feel angry and sad and distressed.
In an attempt to forget the Dragonborn's indelicacy, Agda tried to grab a clean towel near her bed and dry the tears from her face; unfortunately, the effort of stretching her arm caused sudden bolts of pain to run through her body.
With a powerless whine, Agda fell back on the mattress and listened in horror to her frantic heartbeat, to her ragged breathing, to the violent sobs that were having her shiver uncontrollably. Closing her eyes, the girl tried to get a hold of herself: she counted until one hundred and backwards, she declaimed an old poem she'd studied when she was a child, she translated Ragnar the Red in Daedric by relying on the few words she'd learned during her sleepless nights at the library of Winterhold. Yet, none of that could help her calm down.
Whimpering in a mixture of fear and worry and confusion, Agda focused once again on what Steinarius had told her. Until her brief dialogue with the Imperial, the girl had had no clear indication of the gravity of her injuries. She knew that she was in great pain, sure, just like she knew that her life had been on the line for almost a week; nevertheless, she had never believed her injuries to have been caused by a very cruel torturer. In an attempt to find out more about the work of that evil tormenter, Agda ran a hand across her marred face. As she did, the girl shuddered more than once: under her bandages there were deep gashes crisscrossing her nose, her forehead and her mouth. Shocked by that realization, Agda understood that Steinarius had told her the truth. Also, she realized that her face had been turned into a horrible mass of dead tissues and broken bones and terrifying scars.
As reality sank its way though her mind, Agda felt much worse than she'd had until then: she had sustained many fractures, she'd been whipped for hours, her body was covered in scars; she was burning with fever, she still had troubles controlling her magicka, she couldn't even sit up in her bed - and to add insult to injury, the young mage couldn't remember why she was suffering so much.
Scared by that awareness, Agda sobbed for what felt like a lifetime. Then, however, she understood something important. Tears weren't going to get her anywhere: they couldn't make her feel better, just like they couldn't heal her wounds. Her brain, on the other hand, could help her understand what happened before she got to Nightcaller Temple.
Fueled by that realization, Agda took her mind off the pain in order to focus on her memories. Over the previous few days the young mage had managed to evoke a few events she thought she'd forgotten once and for all - and all those events regarded her unexpected chat with Quaranir. Agda was sure that the Psijic Monk had told her something important during their short meeting, something about the Eye of Magnus and her role in keeping Winterhold safe; unfortunately, she couldn't recall anything about it.
With an annoyed sigh, Agda reflected once again upon her situation. She perfectly remembered joining the College, just like she perfectly remembered her happy childhood in Anvil, her first journey to Skyrim, the way Delphine had talked to her while she was in Wayrest. Yet, the young Nord couldn't recall any of the events that took place after her encounter with Quaranir.
While thinking about that fact, Agda suddenly made a rather unsettling realization. Since she could recall most of her life without any effort, the girl namely understood that her mind had not been damaged by mistake; quite on the contrary, someone had altered it so that she could forget only few selected memories from her recent past. As far as Agda knew, there was only one way to obtain that result - a way that implied using a very powerful draught.
As an alchemist, Agda was well acquainted with potions that could delete part of people's mind. Sometimes those draughts were used to cancel memories that could compromise governments or cause wars, sometimes they were used as punishment; most of the times, however, those rare vials were employed to help soldiers forget traumatic experiences.
With a frown, Agda realized that she didn't really care about the reason why someone had erased part of her mind - all she cared about was finding a way to retrieve her memories and finally remember Quaranir's warning.
While looking for something that could help her relive her past, Agda recalled the most important rules of alchemy: every problem had a solution and every solution had a potion; every potion had its ingredients and its fields of application; but most and foremost, every potion could be contrasted by another potion.
Fueled by that realization, Agda sat up in bed. Although her injuries advised her against it, the girl wanted to convince Erandur to allow her into the alchemy room of Nightcaller Temple - after all, if her loss of memory had really been caused by an alchemical draught, the young mage was determined to put her talent to good use and find an antidote to it.
"Are you really sure you want to do this, child?"
Erandur's voice was full of worry; yet, despite the priest's distress and the fact that her own instincts were yelling at her to change her mind, Agda nodded.
"I want... to take my mind... off the pain... and the insults", she said with a fake sob. "And alchemy... could help me... do just that".
Erandur sighed. He'd come home a few minutes earlier only to find a very distressed Agda sprawled the floor of her room. When questioned about the choice of leaving her bed despite her weakness, the girl had said that she wanted to reach Frida's working place and brew herself a couple of potions.
I need to forget the pain, she'd claimed, her eyes full of sufferance and tears. Also, I want to forget what Steinarius told me.
Confused by those words, Erandur had asked Agda what she meant. Despite her troubles with speaking, the girl had claimed she now knew the truth about her injuries and the tortures she'd endured. Also, she'd said Steinarius had upset her while the priest was in Dawnstar.
Agda'd felt rather guilty when Erandur'd stormed out of her room and started screaming at the Dragonborn; nonetheless, the girl knew that playing the damsel in distress was the only way to get what she wanted. Erandur was namely a very careful and strict healer, one who would never allow her inside his alchemy room as long as her injuries didn't get better. Yet, by lying to him about how Steinarius had treated her, Agda hoped the Dunmer would soften up and make that wish of hers come true.
Although it was rather far-fetched, Agda's plan perfectly worked.
"if that is the only way to make you forget that arrogant warrior, I'll take you to our alchemy room", the Dunmer announced with a sigh. "You won't be able to stand up, though - you are still too weak for that".
Agda nodded, then listened as Erandur left her den and magically carried one bed from the nearby dormitory to the room where he usually brewed his potions. A moment later, the priest walked back to Agda and used a spell to help her reach the huge alchemy larder inside his house. The girl had never seen anything like that: that room in Nightcaller Temple hosted lots of shelves full of rare ingredients and even rarer potions. To an alchemist like her, that place was Sovngarde incarnated.
"I'll make sure that Steinarius won't bother you again", Erandur said as he magically lowered Agda onto the bed he'd prepared for her. A moment later, the priest cast a spell that neared the girl's comfortable mattress to the shelves inside the room. "I told him off and I also asked him to leave. He shouldn't have told you that you're a whiney useless brat".
Confronted with Erandur's outraged expression, Agda blushed. Steinarius hadn't actually been that rude to her; yet, that little lie had helped her gain the priest's help.
"That irritating Imperial stormed out of the temple as soon as I told him what I think of him", Erandur continued with a snort. The poor man was completely oblivious of Agda's wicked plan. "He was shivering in rage and his eyes had a weird golden colour. Even if that was rather scary, I couldn't care less: no one upsets my patients while I'm not there to help them".
Agda's embarrassement grew even stronger after listening to those words: after his argument with Erandur, Steinarius had likely gone hunting in his werewolf form in order to let off steam.
"I told that stupid Imperial that he really is a heartless creature", the priest added as he placed a few soft pillows behind Agda's back, thus helping her sit up in her bed. "I also told him that he should have held your hand and caressed you, because that's what normal people do when their friends are suffering; and instead no, he just waltzed into your room and criticized you because you were tortured. That man is cruel and rude and mean and..."
Before Erandur could find another adjective to describe Steinarius' personality, Agda noticed a little potion that was resting on a shelf. Despite her experience with alchemy, the girl had never seen anything like that: that draught was contained in a beautifully engraved vessel and had a beautiful pale blue color. As soon as she saw that vial, Agda felt compelled to know more about it.
"That, my dear, is a very foul potion called Vaermina's Torpor", Erandur frowned. From his expression, Agda could tell that the Dunmer was slightly annoyed by the way she'd interrupted his rant about Steinarius. "Believe me, that thing is the very stuff nightmares are made of - actually, it is said to be made with ingredients that only exist in Quagmire, Vaermina's terrifying realm".
Agda raised an eyebrow at that dramatic explanation.
"What does... that vial... actually do?"
"It helps people relive the memories of someone close to them", Erandur immediately replied. "Also, it can cause them to move through space in their sleep. I wouldn't advise drinking it, though: when Steinarius did it, he hated every moment of it. Actually, he even suggested I destroyed that potion once and for all".
Agda frowned: she couldn't see the connection between Steinarius, Vaermina, Erandur and that potion. Fueled by the girl's confused expression, the Dunmer sighed: it was high time that sweet girl found out about his past.
Erandur talked for a very long time. His acquaintance with Steinarius dated back to a few years earlier, when the Imperial had just joined the Legion Camp in the Pale. After his whole squad had started suffering from horrible nightmares, the former Companion had reached Dawnstar in order to enquire about that strange problem - and that's when Erandur had asked for his help and led him to Nightcaller Temple. During their joint adventure, Steinarius had discovered that the seemingly innocent Dunmer priest was a former Daedra worshipper; also, he'd relived some of his memories thanks to Vaermina's Torpor. At last, the man had ended the terrible nightmares that were causing many people of Dawnstar to lose their minds.
Once Erandur was done recalling that mission, Agda had to do her best to stifle her enthusiasm. Right then she didn't care about the priest' guilty expression, just like she wasn't interested in listening to his wise words about Daedras. Right then, Agda could only think of one thing: Vaermina's Torpor and the way that potion could help people relive their memories.
When Erandur left her alone in the alchemy room in order to greet Frida, who had just returned to Nightcaller Temple after spending the whole day in her shop, Agda gathered all her courage. The moment she was waiting for had finally arrived.
With great effort, the girl grabbed a magicka potion near her bed. She gulped it, then she used a telekinesis spell to get hold of Vaermina's Torpor. Luckily enough, Erandur hadn't used any special enchantment to prevent people from touching that vial.
Feeling her heartbeat fasten for the excitement, Agda poured the content of the beautifully engraved bottle inside the now empty container of the magicka potion she'd previously drunk. Right before Frida walked inside her room, the young mage put the vessel for Vaermina's Torpor back on the shelf and kept the fake magicka potion tight in her hands.
"I see you're back in tracks, sweetie!", Frida greeted her with a warm smile. Just like Erandur, she was glad Agda had finally stopped considering her a threat. Also, she was ready to do everything in order to help the poor girl find some peace. "Are you brewing a magicka potion?"
"I'm actually... carrying out an experiment... about the changes... some ingredients ... may bring about... in a few selected vials", Agda said with great effort. "I... I missed alchemy".
Luckily for the girl, Frida immediately believed her. She had no idea that Agda had just poured a foul draught like Vaermina's Torpor into the harmless container of a magicka potion. In that way, no one could notice what she was doing unless they took a sip of the draught the girl was currently working on.
"I'll leave you to your studies, then", the elder alchemist announced with a smile. "If you need help, I'll be patrolling the area to prevent Steinarius from entering this building. That Imperial has already caused you enough trouble as it is; also, he's behaving like a lunatic. Not only did he anger you - he also scattered the clothes he was wearing all over the stairs to the entrance of the Temple. Erandur and I believe he was entirely naked when he left the building".
Stifling a chuckle at Frida's outraged tone, Agda realized that her previous suspicion had been correct: Steinarius had really turned into a werewolf after his angry argument with Erandur. For once, the girl couldn't blame him for taking such a drastic measure.
When Frida eventually left her alone, Agda was free to get down to her wicked plan.
Despite the pain in her ribs, the girl sat upright in her bed in order to examine the alchemy ingredients inside the room. Then she used a spell to approach the little laboratory in the corner and finally start working.
Despite the desire to retrieve her memories, Agda didn't feel like drinking Vaermina's Torpor. She was namely afraid that said potion would cause her to move around in her slumber; Also, she feared that it could make her relive someone else's past instead of her own. As a consequence, the girl wanted to modify that vial by relying on her talent with alchemy.
First of all, Agda created a strong paralyzing potion. Hopefully, that vial would contrast the effects of Vaermina's Torpor, thus preventing her from awakening in a different place from Nightcaller Temple. Once that draught was ready, the girl carefully analyzed the many ingredients inside the room. Agda didn't want to experience someone else's past, therefore she was looking for a substance that would cause her to relive her own memories. Sighing, the young mage thought of many legendary potions of old - she thought about the mysterious vials that allegedly caused people to morph into animals, about the weird potions that could turn people into wereboars, about the evil draughts that allowed their creators to put themselves in someone else's shoes or, better, skins. According to those legends and myths, all those potions had something in common: in order to work, they required two elements - a Daedra heart to defy the rules of the mortal world, and a part of the creature or person the alchemist wanted to turn into. Frowning in concentration, Agda thought that Vaermina's Torpor could probably be modified by using the only Daedra heart she could find in the room where she was currently staying. Also, she realized she needed a part of her body in order to relive her own memories and not someone else's.
With a determined expression on her face, Agda grabbed a nearby dagger and made to cut the palm of her right hand. Before she could carry out her plan, however, the girl realized there there was no need for such a creepy gesture - one of her blonde hair would probably do just fine.
Praying that no one would enter the room in that moment, Agda grabbed an empty vial and laid her hair inside it. A moment later, she added the paralyzing potion she'd just brewed and a few drops of Vaermina's Torpor. At last, the girl watched the result of her efforts and sighed.
Trying to ignore the voices in her mind - the very same voices that were telling her to stop what she was doing because she could get herself killed -, Agda eventually drank the weird, sour potion she'd just created. She fell back on the mattress, then she looked at the ceiling and prayed for her plan to work. A moment later, the young Nord was swept away by an unstoppable river of memories.
It was almost midnight when Steinarius finally returned to Nightcaller Temple. The Imperial's body was covered only by the blood of a fat Horker he'd killed during his angry hunt as a werewolf; yet, the man couldn't care less - right then, the only thing he cared about was getting away from that foul building and its arrogant inhabitants.
Scoffing in irritation, the Dragonborn reached his room and locked himself inside it. He'd tried his best to help Agda, he really had, but his usual troubles with words had ruined everything - and then, Erandur had caused him to lose his temper once and for all.
If you are the one who has to defeat Alduin, then we're screwed!, the usual calm priest had shouted at him. If you can't even take care of an injured girl who once was your lover, how can you think of saving us all?
When Steinarius had tried to reply, Erandur had shouted even louder.
You think you can do whatever you want just because you've been granted with special powers by the Divines, but that doesn't give you the right to upset a sweet girl like Agda! Actually, I think Akatosh is already regretting the way he tasked you to save the world: you may be strong, but you are as heartless as the dragons you're meant to slay. That's why the girl you call a "whiney innkeeper" would make a much better Dragonborn than you: try as you might, Steinarius, you'll never be as brave and generous as Agda! Also, the world would be a much better place if there were more innocent people like her and less arrogant pricks like you!
As he recalled those words, Steinarius snorted and hastily began to pack his knapsack. During their argument, Erandur had shouted at him to leave Nightcaller Temple and never come back - and had it not been for his luggage, the Imperial would have already followed that advice.
To say it all, Steinarius was actually relieved by the priest's decision: had Erandur not banned him from his house, he would have namely remained in Dawnstar until Agda'd regain her health. Nonetheless, Steinarius couldn't afford himself that luxury: he had already lost precious time in his fight against the dragons and had no wish to stick around that whiney girl. Before working on defeating Alduin, however, the Dragonborn felt the urgent need to talk to Delphine. The leader of the Blades was a cunning and manipulative woman who perfectly knew how the Thalmor tortured their victims until they got mad with pain. As a consequence, Steinarius couldn't understand why she'd been so stupid to send an unexperienced girl like Agda against such a dangerous enemy. Frowning, the Dragonborn realized that perhaps Delphine hadn't been stupid; perhaps she'd deliberately chosen Agda because she wanted to send him a message: mess with love and other silly things, and that's what happens. Considering the low esteem he nourished for the Breton, Steinarius thought her perfectly capable of doing something like that.
Sighing, the Dragonborn closed his knapsack and finally began getting dressed. He'd just put on his breeches when he heard a loud commotion from the nearby rooms. It sounded as though Agda was screaming in pain; yet, Steinarius had no idea why the girl would do something like that.
Not my problem, the Dragonborn selfishly thought. After all, that girl had lied to Erandur about their conversation, a fact that had deeply offended him. He had troubles with words, sure, but he'd never call that sweet girl "a whiney little brat" - at least, not while she was suffering so much.
Steinarius was doing up his shirt when a rather terrified Frida reached his room and called out his name.
"I'm leaving for the Reach, so you'll have to find a new mudcrab exterminator", the Imperial told her as soon as the woman began banging her fist on his locked door. "I'm dumb, but I can understand when someone doesn't want me around - and Erandur and Agda both fit into that category".
Frida stopped knocking for a second.
"Erandur has changed his mind, Steinarius!", she hastily screamed. "He needs your help to look after Agda. It's very important!"
When Frida resumed banging on his door, the Dragonborn allowed her into his room with a tired sigh.
"I'm sorry, but I don't want anything to do with this anymore", he announced before the woman could ask once again for his help. "Erandur thinks he's the only one who can take care of Agda? Fine: let him ell her his usual crap about the Divines and Mara's love for humanity. Too bad that the Gods were busy minding their own businesses while someone was torturing that poor girl and disfiguring her..."
Ignoring the man's rage, Frida laid a hand on his arm.
"Steinarius, I know that you're angry at Erandur, but you must help Agda", she broke him off, her eyes full of worry and plea and despair. "She's got hold of a potion in the alchemy room and has fallen into a deep slumber. I'm begging you: come with me and take a look at her. Please!"
Before he could properly register those words, Steinarius heard another shrill shout. As soon as he did, the Imperial sighed.
Erandur could believe what he wanted, but the Dragonborn wasn't an evil man; as a consequence, he decided to meet Agda one last time before forgetting about her once and for all.
When Steinarius reached Agda's room, he was taken aback by surprise.
The girl was consciousless and was shivering violently in her sleep; her eyes were closed, whereas her chest was heaving painfully fast; sweat was gathering on her forehead, whereas her cheeks were covered in tears.
Sitting motionless by her bedside, Erandur was looking at Agda with a very saddened expression. When Steinarius walked inside his room, the priest didn't even look at him.
"What's going on here?", the Dragonborn groaned when confronted with Erandur's passive behavior.
Overrun by sadness and regret and a strong feeling of guilt, the priest sighed in defeat.
"I thought that, of all people, you would understand what Agda did".
As he spoke, Erandur's eyes focused on Agda's nightstand. Following his gaze, Steinarius noticed a little container - a beautifully engraved container that looked very familiar. As soon as he saw that weird object, the Imperial recalled the first time he'd ventured into Nightcaller Temple.
"Tell me this is not what I think".
As soon as the Imperial said those words, Erandur let out another tired sigh.
"Steinarius, it is all my fault: I left Agda alone in the room where I store alchemy ingredients because I thought she wanted to brew a few potions. Unfortunately, she found Vaermina's Torpor and drank it".
The Dragonborn frowned - despite Erandur's explanation, that situation striked him as strange. Guessing the reason behind his baffled expression, the priest slowly stood up from his stool.
"You did tell me that Agda was quite the alchemist, but I didn't expect her to be that good", he confessed. The Dunmer seemed on the verge of bursting into tears. "She modified Vaermina's Torpor, thus creating a potion that is seemingly causing her to relive her own memories. I have no idea how she did that, just like I don't know the motives behind her choice. I only know that she's suffering a lot".
Steinarius' eyes widened in a mixture of fear and worry and disbelief. If Agda was really reliving her own past, she was likely getting through her tortures all over again. No wonder she looked that horrified.
"There must be a way to stop this", he hastily said. "You must know a way to stop it, Erandur. You, or Frida, or..."
When a new shrill shout echoed in the room, everyone turned to look at Agda. Finally awake, the girl was in evident distress: many tears were running down her cheeks, whereas her eyes were wide as though she'd just seen something horrible.
As soon as a loud sob escaped the mage's lips, Steinarius forgot his argument with her, the way she'd lied to Erandur about their conversation, his desire to never see her again - right then, all Steinarius cared about was finding a way to make Agda feel better.
Without caring for the girl's injuries, the man made to sit on her bed and gather her in his arms. He was very shocked when Agda let out a heart-breaking scream and hastily ordered him to stay away from her. When Erandur tentatively approached her, the mage reacted in a similar way.
"Get away from me, you... you pointy-eared monster!", Agda screamed at the baffled priest. "Leave... Leave me alone!"
Steinarius and Erandur were completely at loss for words: they had no idea why Agda was so mad at them.
When the injured girl made to stand up from her bed, Frida was quick to stop her by reaching her and laying both hands on her shoulders. Agda looked at the old woman for a second, then she unexpectedly buried her face in her chest and began sobbing like a baby. Confronted with the way Agda was shivering, Frida was quick to embrace her and try to calm her with some gentle caresses. The girl clung to the alchemist' dress as though she never wanted to part from her ever again.
After a few moments of that tight hug, Agda seemed to calm down. Despite her confusion, Frida gestured for Erandur and Steinarius to leave, then she remained alone with the girl. Only then did Agda confess everything she'd been through during that terrible night in the Midden.
It was almost midnight when Frida reached the room where Erandur and Steinarius were waiting for her. The alchemist looked very tired and immediately slumped down on a chair. The two men realized that her eyes were full of tears.
"The poor girl has gone through unspeakable things", the healer eventually whispered in reply to their questioning stares.
Frowning, Steinarius stopped pacing up and down the room. There was a moment of silence, then Frida spoke again.
"Agda was so shocked that she couldn't even talk properly", she sniffed as the first tears left her eyes. "She's very upset because she still doesn't remember how she got here, just like she still doesn't remember how she saved herself after her torturer dumped her in the Sea of Ghosts; but most of all, poor Agda is upset because of the tortures she endured.
"Agda was unconscious for most of the time she was tortured", Frida added after a long sigh. "Yet, by reliving her memories she could see everything her tormenter did to her. She just had to stand back and watch while this man electrocuted her, whipped her and disfigured her face".
After handing Frida a handkerchief, Steinarius tiredly rubbed his eyes - had he not turned into a werewolf that afternoon, he would have already started looking for whoever had caused Agda to suffer so much.
"Did the girl tell you why she wanted me and Steinarius to leave?", Erandur asked Frida, thus snapping the Dragonborn out of his thoughts.
"Agda was very shocked by her new scars; yet, that isn't the reason why she was so afraid of you two", Frida nodded while avoiding her companions' eyes. "She was terrified of you, Erandur, because her torturer was an Elf. But most of all, she was scared of you two because you are men, just like the person who tortured her".
It took a moment before those words finally cut their way through Steinarius and Erandur's minds. When they did, the priest pulled a terrified expression. The Imperial instead began shivering in rage.
"Tell me you don't mean..."
"I mean it, Erandur", Frida broke the Dunmer off. "Her torturer undressed Agda while she was unconscious, then he..."
Before Frida could finish her sentence, Steinarius had already left the room and slammed the door behind him. He'd never experienced anything like that: he was so angry that he felt as though he could change into a werewolf for the second time in less than six hours.
Willing to calm himself down before doing anything stupid, the Imperial reached his room and laid down on his bed. The only thing he wanted to do at that moment was slaying the rabid creature who'd hurt Agda that badly.
Steinarius remained alone until Frida knocked on his door and slowly made her way inside his room.
"Thanks Talos, you're here", the woman sighed in relief when she realized that Steinarius still hadn't left Nightcaller Temple. "I feared you'd do something inconsiderate".
"Killing whoever tortured Agda wouldn't be inconsiderate", the Dragonborn scoffed without leaving his bed. "It would be mercy towards humanity".
Steinarius had expected Frida to shiver at his harsh words; nonetheless, the woman surprised him by nodding in agreement.
"How is Agda now?"
"The poor thing is still very upset", Frida said, sadness well evident in her voice. "I had to give her two calming draughts so that she could finally get some sleep and stop crying. I doubt she'll ever forget what she's been through".
There was a moment of silence, then Steinarius asked Frida whether she knew why Agda had drunk Vaermina's Torpor without telling them about it. The girl' secrecy had impressed and worried him at the same time.
"Agda thought she was the only one who could understand her own memories", Frida explained with a sigh. "Also, she didn't tell us about her plans because she knew we would try to stop her. Oh, and by the way, the girl is very sorry for turning Erandur against you: with her lies about your conversation, she hoped she could convince the priest to take her to the alchemy room inside the temple. Unfortunately for us, her plan was a success".
Steinarius shook his head in disbelief. He was actually astonished by the way Agda had recklessly turned Erandur against him; also, he was impressed by the way she'd cunningly used his snappy personality for her own means.
"What did Agda tell you about her torturer?", the man asked after a brief pause. "And why did they torture her in the first place?"
"The girl told me that she received an important warning from some kind of monk", Frida readily replied. "She mentioned a mysterious danger looming over Winterhold and a weird thing called 'Eye of Magnus'. Although her explanations were quite slurred, she claimed she needs to reach the College and talk to the Archmage as soon as possible; unfortunately, right now she's still too weak to leave her bed, let alone face such a long journey".
"I'll get to Winterhold on her behalf", Steinarius promised. "First, however, I want to know who tortured her".
"Agda kept on repeating an Elven name - Ancano. If I understood correctly, the man you're looking for is a Thalmor spy who works as an advisor at the College".
Steinarius stood up from his bed and wrote Ancano's name on a scrap of paper. Now that he had a clear target, there was nothing that could prevent him from killing Agda's tormenter.
"I'll make sure that the bastard gets what he deserves", the Dragonborn swore after putting that piece of paper in one of the pockets of his breeches. Once he did that, the man began putting on his armor: he wanted to reach Winterhold as soon as possible.
There was a moment of silence during which Steinarius remembered a question he'd often asked himself over the previous week - a question that involved Agda's unexpected arrival in Nightcaller Temple, Vigdis' scent in the courtyard and a possible connection between the two.
"Did Agda tell you anything else?", the man asked Frida while reflecting upon his irrational theory and wrestling with his cuirass at the same time. "Did she explain how she got here after being tortured?"
Without realizing how important that answer was to Steinarius, the old alchemist shook her head.
"Not even Vaermina's Torpor could help Agda remember her journey to Dawnstar. Actually, since you're already heading to Winterhold, I think it'd be nice if you could look a bit further into this matter: Agda is rather scared by this fact, and so am I. In my opinion, someone might have toyed with the poor girl's mind for some foul reason".
For a brief moment, Steinarius thought that Frida's answer actually supported his theory about Agda and Vigdis - after all, his former fiancée had always been very good at brewing potions; as a consequence, she could have effortlessly deleted a few selected memories from the young mage's mind. Also, Vigdis could have used her talents to make that change irreversible. Frowning at that possibility, the Imperial swore he would enquire about Agda's mysterious journey from Winterhold to Dawnstar.
Still lost in his thoughts, the Dragonborn kept on putting on his Blade armor. He was very surprised when Frida helped him strap on his gauntlet, and he was even more surprised when the woman provided him with some expensive potions. Steinarius thanked her, then he made a quick list of all the things he needed to do in Winterhold. After strapping his sword to his waist, however, the Imperial realized that he still couldn't leave - before heading for his destination, he namely wanted to bid Agda goodbye and let her know that he wasn't angry at her.
As soon as Steinarius cast her a sheepish glance, Frida realized what he was about to ask her.
"Agda is asleep now, so you will have to leave her a message if you want to to tell her that you've forgiven her for lying to Erandur about your conversation", the old alchemist informed him. "Also, you should write her an apology - I don't think she made everything up".
Steinarius scoffed. Apparently, being observant was a common trait among the alchemists of Skyrim.
"Can I see her?"
Smiling in a mother-like way, Frida sighed. A moment later she grabbed the man by the elbow and led him towards Agda's room.
"You have to keep quiet and avoid waking her, otherwise you'll have to face my wrath", she said in a half-playful, half-serious whisper.
Steinarius nodded, then he gently pushed open the door to the room where Agda was resting. Trying not to disturb her, the Imperial took a step towards her bed and silently observed her.
Agda was sleeping, but her rest wasn't peaceful. Her face seemed fixed in a permanent frown, whereas her hands were spasmodically clutching around her blankets. When Steinarius heard her ask for her mercy, he realized that the girl was having a nightmare related to the tortures she'd endured.
Walking on his tiptoes, the Imperial reached Agda's bed and gently stroked her hair. As he softly caressed the young mage, Steinarius carefully analyzed her bruised cheeks, her swollen lips, her scarred forehead; he looked at her broken nose, at her sore arms, at the blood that still drenched the bandages around her chest; he focused on her frantic breathing, on the way her heart was drumming madly in her ribcage, on the way she winced in her sleep - and as he did, the Dragonborn forgot about his argument with Erandur, about his plans to save the world, about his impending fight with Delphine. Eventually, Steinarius even forgot his crazy theory about Vigdis: right then, all he could think of was killing the monster who had dared torture Agda.