When Naruto's seal breaks, he finds himself sharing his body with a powerful and enigmatic creature known to the world as the infamous nine-tailed demon fox. But everything Naruto, and the world, thought they knew about the mysterious demon is proving to be untrue.
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The infinite sacrifices
The nebulous ideals
I won't let it all go to waste
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It had only been a few weeks since Naruto's predictable, somewhat boring life had been irreversibly destroyed, and it felt both like it happened just yesterday and yet years ago. He wasn't sure if this was a disappointing testimony to the resiliency of the human brain in the face of change, or an uplifting one.
A few weeks ago, he was just a genin with nothing to lose and everything to prove. He had a long and difficult journey ahead of him, but it was a journey he could see the end of. He had a dream; he had a path forward. Everything he knew about himself and the life he had ahead of him had been abruptly and unceremoniously torn from him, and now he could only try to pick up the pieces of what he used to know. To reconcile everything he knew to the reality he was living in now.
Eventually, he thought he'd come to accept it. He just needed time to process everything.
But right now was probably not the most opportune moment to do so— in the heat of a mission, with his team closing in on their target.
There's static in his ear.
"I see the target," Koga said, and out across the unfurling Konoha rooftops he could see the dark blur of his teammate darting into action.
"Affirmative," Yugao confirmed. "In pursuit. Towa, on your six."
"I'm on it."
ANBU's elite Team Shiroi descended on their unsuspecting prey like a pack of vultures. Naruto, covering the exits, could only watch from a great distance. He thought he saw the shining reflection of knives in the moonlight, then nothing.
There's silence on the radio.
Then Koga broke out into expletives.
"Fucker was wired to blow." He spat out.
Naruto let out the tense breath he was holding, failure heavy on his shoulders.
"Where was it?" His captain asked.
"Can't confirm, but it's feasible to believe it was under the tongue, like the others." Yugao returned.
Another suicide.
"Autopsy will give us a definitive answer." Naruto can hear the heavy weight of resignation in his captain's voice. "Take it to Ibiki."
That's his cue.
Naruto dropped off the gate, dispelling the clone he had stationed a distance outside it. The rest of them, loosely circled around Konoha's perimeter, he decided to keep for a while longer, just in case. It was the least he could do, seeing as though his alter ego had yet to make an appearance. Without the fox, Naruto was hardly at a level to be qualified for chunin, let alone an elite ANBU squad. There was nothing for it, though. Either Kyuubi responded or he didn't, and Naruto had tried all afternoon to get a response from the demon hiding in his body, to no avail.
At the very least, he was at least good for this.
By the time he'd made it to the scene, the rest of his team had wrapped the body up in a dark, nondescript plastic. Even covered, it was blatantly obvious what it was. It was a good thing the Konoha streets were empty and dark at this time of night.
Naruto refrained from making a face as he hefted the body over his shoulder, doing his level best to ignore how uncomfortable it made him. He'd killed before— he'd seen death. And yet, carting off the dead still made him a bit sick. As if it made it all the more real, what they were doing.
Captain Yamato nodded at him. Naruto nodded back, and then leapt off in the direction of T&I headquarters.
.
.
"It still doesn't sit well with me," Kakashi said idly, over their (somewhat) weekly barbecue.
Yamato didn't need any further explanation; they both knew exactly what the copy-nin was referring to. Despite the topic at hand, he appeared calm, almost serene, as he prodded at the sizzling grill between them. "I don't think it sits well with anyone," he replied, mildly. "You know, this is what my old taichou used to call a 'risk management and arbitration' situation."
Kakashi scowled. "Those situations are only successful when all the facts can be considered." He pointed out— and he should know, considering he was that 'old taichou' that coined the damn term.
"Well, the situation, as it stands, is lacking a great deal of facts." Yamato reminded him. "What would you have Hokage-sama do instead?"
His old captain fell silent at that.
There was no easy answer.
Jinchuuriki are a horrific and difficult reality in general. They are humanity's attempt at Kakashi's infamous risk assessment strategy. They are nothing but a mitigation of the problem. Namely, that there are creatures of hideous and incomprehensible power that walk this earth, and humanity has no way of destroying them, so instead they seal them into temporary containers in an endless cycle of sorrow and agony. The story of a Jinchuuriki is written in blood and sacrifice; to think otherwise is either pure ignorance or willful denial.
Of course, it's this exact way of thinking that only perpetuates the cycle of suffering. If Jinchuuriki are bound to a life of agony by mere existence, then what purpose do they have other than as a vehicle for villages to further their own aims? In the eyes of many, a brief life as a weapon that can help build prosperity for the village people is something of a small blessing in an otherwise bleak scenario. A martyr's death is more celebrated than a worthless one, he supposed was the logic in that.
There's a sharp, sudden crack above the hissing of beef on the grill.
Kakashi has broken one of his chopsticks.
His outward demeanor and expression are otherwise perfectly calm as he hailed the waitress to ask for another set, but his lone eye is full of an anger that has Yamato pausing in his cooking.
It's personal for Kakashi, Yamato reminded himself.
Naruto is not a faceless, unfortunate casualty in a silent and ongoing war that most of humanity refuses to admit the existence of.
Yamato sighed heavily. "I understand you disagree with Hokage-sama's decision, but—
"It's not his fault." Kakashi cut him off. His gaze was focused on the flickering flame between them. "I'm not angry at him. He only did what he could with the cards handed to him." He laughs bitterly. "Risk management, at its finest."
Yamato frowned, his gaze darting down to the snapped chopstick. The waitress returned with a spare set. Kakashi thanked her. She looked flustered in response as she giggled back at him; Yamato could see the flush rising above her collar. Kakashi flirted back, but it lacked his usual glib and charmingly cavalier air.
When she finally left, he was silent for a moment, looking down at his beer. He managed to down half his glass without Yamato seeing him take off his mask, the ANBU captain noticed with exasperation.
"I just can't understand why he did it."
Yamato blinked. "Hokage-sama?"
Kakashi shook his head. "Minato-sensei."
Ah.
He poured out the rest of his bottle into the glass, watching the amber liquid froth with an idle, almost disinterested gaze. "His only son." He said, putting the bottle down. "Of all the people to sacrifice to such a fate, and he chooses his newborn son. Naruto didn't even have an hour or two of a normal life before it was forfeited."
Yamato couldn't even begin to imagine the pain that decision must have caused the late Yondaime. "The seal bonds better when the host is in infancy." He quoted, a well known statistic that again, most people like to forget about.
"And yet, look what happened." Kakashi shook his head. "The seal broke anyway. The sacrifice was pointless. He would have had just as good a chance at containing it if he'd sealed it in me, or any of the other volunteers." Volunteers that hadn't been voiceless infants, unable to have a say in the matter.
Yamato wasn't entirely sure how to respond. Uzumaki were known for their resiliency and chakra capacity, and beyond that, Naruto's own mother held the beast for years without incident. Naruto was the best choice in a lot of ways, but he knew Kakashi was well aware of that fact.
Before he could have to come up with something, Kakashi gave up on his lamenting on his own. "At any rate, the situation is what it is. The fox is here to stay. I understand that putting him in ANBU is the path of least resistance in a lot of respects, but that's exactly what puts me so ill at ease."
"Because it plays into what the council wanted all along?" The world liked to make weapons of their Jinchuuriki, and Konoha's own council was not dissimilar.
"Yes, but also because it plays into what he wanted." Kakashi agreed, reaching over to pluck a couple pieces of beef off the grill. The best pieces, Yamato noted with consternation. "Which begs the question, why would the Kyuubi request something like that?"
"Your guess is as good as mine, and as good as Hokage-sama's." Yamato replied. Even being Naruto's ANBU captain hadn't enlightened him on the subject. "All I can say is that, as far as being a subordinated goes, he's really not even remotely the worst of the lot. He listens to orders, unfailingly, and he never complains. And, you know, he's pretty good at the whole killing humans thing."
Yes, when Yamato put it like that, it really did sound like a sweet deal.
"All the more reason to be suspicious." Kakashi nodded.
Yamato shrugged. True enough. "What should we do instead? I know you threw me under the bus by recommending my team to Hokage-sama—
Kakashi shrugged unrepentantly.
"But as it stands Hokage-sama probably would have had me lead him anyway." Yamato swiped a few of the remaining pieces of meat. "He's counting on me to be able to subdue him, but if I'm being honest, I wouldn't bet money on that outcome. The fox is… he's much more than we could have ever imagined. I doubt I've even seen a small sliver of what he's capable of. As I see it, we have two options. We either continue down this path, or we gather the entirety of our forces and try to seal him into another vessel."
Even with the mask in place, Yamato could tell his old captain was grimacing under the cloth.
"Ah." Kakashi said, clearly seeing what Yamato did.
The ANBU nodded along. "Yes, exactly. In that scenario, there's no guarantee Naruto would even live through the process. Beyond that, there's also no telling how much collateral damage would be involved— this is, of course, assuming we could even ever get approval from the council for such an operation to begin with."
In the end though, they both knew Kakashi wasn't intending to change Sarutobi-sama's decision. All their hands were tied in the matter, so there was nothing to be done for it.
Risk mitigation, Yamato thought, again.
The words had always felt sour, but they felt exceptionally terrible in this moment.
.
.
.
It was the third one in as many days, and Kyuubi was growing restless.
Naruto's ANBU team— and by extension, his village at large— had no idea what they were up against. They were assuming this was just subterfuge by another hidden village; something that happened so frequently they had protocols in place for it. Captured operatives were taken to T&I— dead or alive. If alive, the procedures following were rather self explanatory for an organization that calls itself Torture and Interrogation. If dead, they had teams in place in their morgue to scavenge the body for any reasonable clues.
Kyuubi had no idea how exemplary they were at their jobs, but regardless he was sure they'd still turn up nothing.
If there was anything he'd learned in the weeks of his return to the world, it was that they had largely forgotten almost everything in their past.
The thought of their ignorance filled him with rage. These humans carried on with their lives, oblivious to the monumental sacrifices that allowed them to even exist in the first place. They had long forgotten the struggles of their forefathers, caught in a bitter and endless war for their very survival.
Even now, with the threat from a millenia ago resurfacing again, they had no knowledge of what to come.
Although Kyuubi was awake and active, his ANBU team had still requested him to remain on backup as they had with Naruto. Whether that was due to a lack of trust on their part, or the very real reality that Kyuubi tended to butcher his victims beyond recognition was up to debate. At any rate, they wanted the bodies in unharmed condition (although alive was preferable) and they only trusted him as far as they could throw him, so they wouldn't risk him getting too involved in the operation.
Kyuubi scoffed.
They didn't trust him, and yet they were regularly leaving him with the bodies unsupervised.
Yes, the duration of time he had with them was short, but it was more than enough.
He stopped just outside the T and I building, ducking into a darkened alleyway once he was sure there were no chakra signatures nearby. He unzipped the body bag and revealed the corpse in full.
It was just like all the others. No outward markings, nondescript civilian clothes. The only thing abnormal about the corpse was the strange seal beneath the tongue— as far as any human could detect.
But to Kurama, nothing about this body was normal.
There were no outward signs, but he could feel it. Like a malaise wafting in the air, some sort of miasma clinging to its skin. It was abnormal. Inhuman. Something was terribly wrong with it. It had no natural flow of chakra; the primordial ebb and flow of the physical world around them seemed to part around this body, like particles of iron fleeing from a magnet.
He zipped the body back up, and hefted it over his shoulder. Unfortunately, as of now he was just as in the dark as the humans. Konoha had no conclusive answer as to where these operatives were coming from, just as they had no answers as to their motivations. The only additional information the fox had was what he could sense from them.
For now, all he could conclude was that this was an ominous warning of things to come.
.
.
.
Naruto fought back a world-weary yawn, trying to keep his eyes open.
Kyuubi's ANBU team had been working the graveyard shift these past few nights, and from what he could tell that wasn't going to stop anytime soon. Kakashi-sensei had given him carte blanche to stay at home to rest whenever he felt like it, but Naruto loathed missing their daily meetings and missions. It was the only thing that he had to remind him of what normal was. It was the part of the day that made him feel like Uzumaki Naruto again, Konoha Genin, deadlast at the academy, and member of Team Seven.
Right now though, he was struggling just to keep his eyes open.
Everything in his body was telling him to sleep. He felt exhausted and drained of energy and he'd barely even gotten out of bed. As much as he hated the idea of missing his team meeting, he hated the idea of being a burden on Team Seven even more. And he was more likely to fall asleep in the middle of whatever E-rank mission they had on schedule today than he was to actually be useful.
With that thought, he crawled back into bed.
By the time he opened his eyes again he'd slept most of the day away.
Dusk lit the world in an orange glow, warmth seeping from his open window.
Naruto rolled over and yawned, rubbing at his eyes.
When he opened them fully, he almost fell out of bed in surprise.
"K— Kakashi-sensei!" He sputtered, sitting upright. "What— how long have you been here?"
His sensei looked perfectly at ease lounging on his window sill, Icha Icha Idols in hand.
"Hmm, for about, maybe half this book I think?"
It was an intentionally ambiguous answer. Especially considering it was a cover he'd seen many times before, so it was more than likely that his sensei had read it through multiple times. He didn't even know how fast his sensei could read, but he imagined it was far faster than Naruto's rudimentary abilities. There was totally no way his sensei hadn't read this book from front to back at least a dozen times before now, so there was really no telling just what 'half the book' even meant.
Naruto blinked a few times.
When the hell had he become this observant? He would have taken an answer like that at face value, without even bothering to give it any further thought. He wasn't sure how he felt about that— knowing that ANBU had changed him so thoroughly to the point even his brain didn't work the way it used to.
"Oh…" The thought left him feeling exhausted and lost, like he didn't know how to feel about anything anymore, and all the confusion was just making him so damn tired.
He shook his head, trying to disperse such depressing thoughts. "I missed our meeting today, didn't I?"
"By a few hours, yes, but it's really not a problem." Kakashi was quick to assure him.
It still made something sour sink to the bottom of his stomach.
Kakashi snapped his book shut, hopping off the ledge and into Naruto's room. It felt a little weird, seeing his sensei just standing there so casually.
"Are you hungry?"
The question was so out of the blue, Naruto didn't respond for a moment. Of course, his stomach took the opportunity to respond for him with a low growl.
Kakashi chuckled. "I'll take it as a yes then? How does barbecue sound?"
Considering Naruto hadn't eaten all day and had the skyrocketing energy expenditure of an ANBU member, the answer would have been a resounding yes to anything Kakashi suggested. He nodded furiously.
"Great! My treat. There's something I wanted to talk to you about anyway."
Naruto followed Kakashi down Konoha's busy streets, mulling on his words. What would he possibly want to talk to him about? There were so many possible answers. Dusk had settled onto the Konoha streets, the sky the color of an overripe peach. The balmy weather and warm sun had the streets packed with people. The smell of food, the low murmur of the milling crowds, cicadas humming low in the air; Naruto took a deep breath, feeling a bit more settled than he had earlier. Just a bit of fresh air was enough to change his mood.
Kakashi led him around the crowded walkways until they ended up at a rather nondescript barbecue restaurant, with a large tanuki statue at the entrance like a mischievous guardian. Kakashi noticed his gaze lingering on it, and chuckled under his breath.
"Don't you think it looks a bit like Yamato?"
Yamato… Naruto's eyes widened. "Y— Yamato-taichou?" He clarified, gaping.
Kakashi grinned beneath his mask. "Isn't the resemblance rather striking?"
Naruto was still taken by surprise hearing his captain's name at all. Then he recalled that Kakashi had mentioned actually being his captain… The idea was still hard to come to terms with. His ANBU captain was the epitome of an elite shinobi, as far as Naruto was concerned. That Kakashi-sensei had actually been Yamato's captain really made him see his lazy, porn-reading sensei in an entirely new light.
He turned to the statue seriously, and then broke out in a grin. "It's definitely the eyebrows."
"That's what I always say!" Kakashi-sensei exclaimed. Then he shook his head, lamenting; "Every time I tell Yamato that though, he always gets unreasonably mad…"
Naruto couldn't help but laugh. He could never imagine cracking a joke like that to someone as esteemed as Team Shiroi's captain.
It occurred to Naruto as they were being seated by a chipper hostess who endlessly flirted with Kakashi that his sensei probably had a reason for bringing him here. Well, obviously he'd mentioned he had something he wanted to discuss with Naruto, but he could have just done that in Naruto's apartment. Instead he'd offered to buy him dinner and took him to a place that he was obviously quite fond of. He must come here a lot, for the hostess to recognize him on sight like that, Naruto noticed.
Again, he was silently in awe with himself.
Just a short while ago he would have heard barbecue and heard free food, and wouldn't have given it any further thought than that. Now though, he finds himself vaguely apprehensive, because he can't imagine Kakashi going through all this effort just to ask him about his day. Still, whether the actions are contrived or not, Naruto has to admit it was… nice. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been out to dinner with someone else— it was either with Team Seven, or with Iruka-sensei, but either way was a long time ago.
"Ne, sensei…" He started, hesitantly, after they'd been seated for long enough that he was really starting to get nervous.
"Hmm?"
"Why are we here?"
"Ah, yes, that." Kakashi-sensei didn't appear to share his sense of urgency.
Naruto fidgeted in his seat, waiting for him to explain further.
"Well, you see, we're meeting someone."
This was news to him. Naruto blinked. "We are?"
"You know, this might be the first time you've ever been punctual in your life, senpai." A dry voice cut in from behind him.
Naruto whirled around with wide eyes to see his ANBU captain standing behind him. He realized, belatedly, that he hadn't ever seen the man without his customary mask and armor. He looked… surprisingly normal, dressed in normal civilian clothes.
"Ah, if it isn't my cute little kouhai." Kakashi returned, brightly. "And this might be the first time you've ever been late."
"I've been pre-conditioned to assume you'll forever be thirty minutes late to everything." Yamato rebuked, grouchily. And then, with a complete about-face he turned to Naruto with a cheerful smile. "And Naruto-kun, how are you?"
"Uh… good. Thanks." Naruto replied, belated. He was still having trouble processing— well, everything.
"Well, the last thing I would ever want to do is be predictable." Kakashi said, horrified.
Yamato rolled his eyes. "There are far greater sins than having a bit of timeliness." He retorted, and then summarily shoved Kakashi further into the booth and plopped in next to him.
Naruto was still staring at both of them with wide eyes. Well, both of them, but mainly Yamato-taichou. He might be just slightly awestruck right now, but that was hardly his fault. Every Genin basically thought ANBU was the coolest thing ever, and having an up close and personal look at them hadn't deprived Naruto of that assumption. If anything, it might have amplified it; at least in the case of both Yamato-taichou and Uzuki Yugao, both of whom had larger than life reputations, and real-life personalities that absolutely lived up to expectation. Towa and Koga, for the most part, just plain terrified him.
Kakashi noticed his little Genin staring at his former kouhai with a look just below total adoration, and couldn't help but be a little annoyed by it.
Okay, so maybe playing the lazy, chronically tardy, porn-reading, eccentric Jounin-sensei was fun sometimes. But in this instance he felt a bit short-changed. For the record, he was just as cool, if not way cooler than boring, by-the-book Tenzou.
Tenzou, on his part, just looked infuriatingly smug.
"So, senpai, have you told Naruto-kun the good news yet?" The dark-haired ANBU captain asked.
Naruto perked up at that. "News? What news?"
Kakashi looked, perhaps just a bit uncomfortable. It was forever difficult to tell what he was feeling beneath his mask and trademark expression of apathetic boredom. He sighed, crossing his arms. "Well, calling it 'good news' might be a little misleading," he hedged off. And then, without fanfare; "You've been promoted."
Naruto sat up straighter. "Promoted?" Hold on, was this like, a celebratory dinner then?
If that was the case, he was surprised Kakashi-sensei hadn't invited the rest of the team.
"So, like, Team Seven is… Chunin now?" Naruto asked, mulling this over in his head. That was the rank after Genin, right? He tended to just skip over all the ranks and promotions between Genin and Hokage, considering them just mere stepping stones on his way to his real goal.
Suddenly, a dawning look of realization crossed his ANBU captain's face. It was quickly squashed down into a look of benign neutrality, but Naruto was far more observant than he usually was and managed to catch the look. It wasn't a good look, and it made his stomach flip over in anticipation.
"No, Naruto," Kakashi said, gently. "Not Team Seven. Just you."
Naruto was silent for a long moment.
"... Oh."
That was…
The blonde sat back in his seat, gaze unfocused.
Well, in a lot of ways, that was inevitable. The writing had been on the wall, but due to a likely combination of plain ignorance and intentional oversight on his part he had resisted coming to the obvious conclusion. After all, Naruto was in ANBU. And he'd never heard of any ANBU operatives being part of a Genin team.
But all the same, even if this was technically a promotion— technically another step forward on his path to Hokage… he couldn't really summon up a feeling of triumph. First of all, he didn't feel he deserved it and secondly, he didn't feel ready to leave his Genin team. As much as their personalities clashed, they were the closest he'd ever had to having friends.
"Does that mean… I'm leaving them?" Naruto asked, in a small voice.
Today would have been his last day with Team Seven then, if he could have just stayed awake for it. And now it was likely he would never see them again— never get to say goodbye.
Both his sensei and his captain looked sympathetic, and Naruto wasn't entirely sure how he felt about being the subject of their pity. Usually he would be up in arms at the idea of anyone pitying him, but he also felt he didn't have the energy to get angry right now.
"I'm sorry, Naruto." Kakashi-sensei said, which was answer enough.
Naruto doesn't really know what to say.
The waitress comes and goes. She seemed oddly excited to see Kakashi-sensei, and Naruto would have been crying with laughter had this been any other moment, just at the mere sight of his Jounin-sensei awkwardly trying and failing to get a girl half his age to stop flirting with him. If Sasuke and Sakura were here, he definitely wouldn't have held back. They'd be teasing their sensei over this for years.
But they didn't have years, though. Their time together was already over.
"What…" Naruto swallowed thickly, trying to keep his voice steady. "What's going to happen to Sasuke and Sakura?"
He's quietly grateful that Kakashi-sensei doesn't hold it against him when his voice does end up wavering a little. His Jounin-sensei took it in stride, answering without remark on it; "They'll need to have a replacement, but it's a temporary situation at most. The Chunin exams are coming up soon, and that usually marks the end of most Genin teams."
Naruto sat up straighter at that. "The end? What do you mean?"
It's Yamato-taichou that answers him. "Although Genin are put on teams of three, Chunin promotions are individual. It's not uncommon for one out of the three to be promoted, leaving the other two to get mixed in with the remaining pool of Genin to create new teams."
Naruto mulled over his words, brow furrowed. "So… this would have happened either way, is what you're saying."
Kakashi-sensei nodded. "Yes, Genin teams don't usually last for very long. A few years at most, depending on whether or not their Jounin-sensei considers them ready for the Chunin exams."
"So Team Seven is going to be in the Chunin exams this year?" Naruto was not overly familiar with the exams at all, so he couldn't say whether or not his team— (his former team, his mind reminded him)— was ready for them.
Yamato snorted.
Naruto looked at him curiously.
Kakashi just shrugged. "We'll see," he said, mildly.
The waitress came back with their food. Naruto, despite living alone, was not actually all that good at cooking, so he was relieved when his captain reached out immediately to start divvying up the meat for cooking.
After he was finished, the dark-haired ANBU captain leaned back with a look of irritation. "What your sensei is trying to politely avoid saying is that he doesn't really have a choice in the matter."
"What?" Naruto exclaimed, surprised. "Why not?"
"If he doesn't nominate the Uchiha immediately, the council will be up in arms." Yamato explained.
Ah. Of course it was about Sasuke, Naruto thought, bitterly.
"To be fair, I could have argued against it," Kakashi pointed out, shrugging. "But at this point I really have no reason to. If anything, they might be doing me a favor."
Naruto looked at him curiously, but his sensei didn't seem to be in the mood to elaborate.
"When are they announcing that, anyhow?" Yamato asked, sounding oddly defeated.
"We're supposed to make the decision by today— the nominations are being announced tomorrow at the village-wide meeting. All active shinobi above Chunin are required to attend, so don't bother trying to get out of it," he added, and Yamato-taichou scowled.
"I heard Aoi suffered injuries and had to postpone their mission to Suna— who knows, Shiroi might just have to pick that up."
Kakashi turned to stare at him flatly. "Are you really going to volunteer yourself for a month-long mission in the middle of the desert, just to get out of a thirty-minute meeting?"
Naruto paled drastically at his words, realizing that Yamato's decision meant he too might be stuck in a desert for four weeks. The thought was less than pleasant.
Yamato rolled his eyes. "It's not the time— it's the arguing." He sighed. "It's a hot mess every year and you know it. Hell, this time you have to be a part of it."
"You don't need to remind me." Kakashi pouted.
"You'll be coming too, Naruto-kun." Yamato added, as he swiped Naruto's plate to start piling on the grilled beef. Naruto could have done it himself, but it was kind of nice to have someone do it for him. Up until recently he almost always ate by himself, so it was a rather novel experience.
Then he looked up, realizing what Yamato had said. The blonde looked rather unsettled. "Huh?"
"Well, you have been promoted, remember?" Yamato reminded him, then turned to Kakashi. "Did Hokage-sama mention what rank?"
Kakashi paused mid bite— which, how is he even eating? Naruto noted with disbelief that even his beer was halfway gone! And he hadn't once seen him take off his mask! What sort of black magic was this?
"I don't think he did," Kakashi mused. "Jounin, I would imagine. Less oversight involved."
Yamato-taichou nodded along as if that made perfect sense. It made little sense to Naruto. What even was 'oversight'? Not for the first time since this whole duplicitous deal of his started, he felt as if he was a little kid pretending at playing adult. He hadn't realized how wide the chasm was between the two worlds.
"Wait a minute, I'm a Jounin?" Naruto cut in, eyes wide.
That meant… that meant he was a higher rank than Iruka-sensei. He was the same rank as Kakashi-sensei! How did that make any sense?
Kakashi-sensei rubbed the back of his head. "Ah, well, I suppose that was another one of the things I was meant to tell you about today…"
Of course his sensei would forget something as big a deal as that. This was crazy. Naruto felt very small, and also very out of his element. His mind was reeling. Jounin was basically a step away from Hokage, as far as he was concerned. This definitely couldn't be real— it felt even more bizarre than waking up in the morning and seeing his ANBU tattoo on his arm. Apparently he'd fallen asleep earlier this morning as a Genin, and woken up a Jounin.
He felt so out of sorts he couldn't formulate a response, opting instead to focus on actually chewing the food he was eating. Even that seemed like it took too much concentrated effort.
"I suppose congratulations are in order." Yamato mused, idly. "The circumstances are unusual, but it's a promotion nonetheless."
Naruto hardly felt worthy of any kind of congratulatory gestures. He didn't feel deserving of this at all. It made all his dreams seem like some sort of cheap consolation prize. He didn't want to be Jounin, even though he'd spent most of his childhood wishing he could fast track himself to Hokage just like he was doing now. He didn't want to leave Team Seven. He didn't want this life, at all.
All of a sudden, before he could even attempt to hold it back, his eyes started to water.
He rubbed furiously at them before any tears could fall, horrified with himself. He didn't think he could suffer the embarrassment of crying in front of both his sensei and his taichou, two of the most accomplished and impressive ninja he knew.
"Can you get the bill from the waitress, Tenzou?" He heard Kakashi half-whisper, over a particularly loud sniffle of his.
He could hear when his ANBU captain scrambled gracelessly out of his seat, all but sprinting for the waitress. Naruto was seriously so mortified he could die.
"... Sorry." He said, belatedly, removing his arm from his face once he was certain his eyes were dry, if not a little red. "I didn't mean to…"
"What are you apologizing for?" He was surprised to see his sensei next to him, having risen from the seat across to stand at the end of the table. His voice was soft, and kind. He didn't often hear his sensei like this, and it was oddly reassuring.
He ruffled Naruto's hair, and then gestured for him to follow him.
Naruto was miserable. He was beyond embarrassed with himself and had no idea what he was supposed to say. Kakashi met up with Yamato at the entrance to the restaurant, and assured his captain he'd walk him home and he'd leave him plenty of time to get ready for his mission tonight. Naruto felt as if he should have said something in response, but couldn't manage it. This was literally the worst.
"Sorry I ruined dinner." Naruto mumbled, as they were walking back.
It was nightfall already, street lamps lit along the path home. The darkness made Kakashi's expression even more impossible to read than usual; not that Naruto would even bother to try right now. He didn't think he wanted to know what his sensei thought of him currently. He couldn't imagine it was particularly flattering.
"You did nothing of the sort, Naruto."
"Aside from bursting into tears at the end of it?" Naruto snorted, rolling his eyes.
He got a startled laugh for his troubles. "I would hardly consider it something so dramatic. And to be honest, I had expected a reaction like that."
"... Great." Naruto said, sarcastically. Apparently his sensei's opinion of him was even lower than he had thought— if that was even possible.
"Naruto," Kakashi began, and he was so surprised by the seriousness in his voice he paused midstep, "frankly, if I had delivered news like that and you hadn't had a reaction I would have hauled you to the psych ward for a mental stability evaluation."
Naruto stopped in the middle of the road, staring up at him. "Really?"
"Yes really." Kakashi agreed, nodding. "Nothing about this is easy, especially considering your age. I don't say that to sound condescending; I told you before I wasn't all that much older than you when I joined ANBU. It's hardly an experience I would recommend to anyone."
"I…" Naruto did remember Kakashi-sensei mentioning something like that.
At the time, he'd just chalked it up as yet another astoundingly impressive fact about his lazy, perverted sensei. He was certain that Kakashi-sensei, regardless of his age at the time, was completely deserving of such a promotion, unlike him. It hadn't occurred to him that Kakashi-sensei might have struggled with it as much as Naruto was now.
Kakashi sighed in an uncharacteristically unguarded gesture, running a wary hand through his hair. "Honestly Naruto, I wish this didn't have to happen to you. I wish I could do more for you, but…" He sighed again.
Naruto tilted his head, frowning. "It's not like any of this is your fault, sensei." It occurred to him then that Kakashi was no longer his sensei anymore, and he should really remember to stop using that. That thought was… almost, if not more painful than the idea that Sasuke and Sakura were no longer his teammates.
"All the same, if there's anything I can do to help, don't hesitate to ask. I don't want you to think you're alone in this."
Naruto stared up at him blankly, confused and somewhat bewildered. He had to consciously remind himself to keep walking, even though he wasn't paying an ounce of attention on where they were going.
He'd just reminded himself that Kakashi wasn't his sensei anymore… but wouldn't that also stand to reason then that Kakashi had no occupational obligation to look out for him anymore, too?
"It's alright." Naruto shrugged it off. It wasn't as if he was unfamiliar with adults abandoning him; he'd learned a long time ago not to rely on them in any capacity. "I'll figure it out somehow myself. I know you're not my sensei anymore, so it's really not your job to look out for me."
In the overcast of the dim lamp post, Naruto couldn't quite believe his own eyes. But in the flickering light, he almost thought he saw a flash of hurt in his sensei's visible eye. It was gone in a split second, replaced by Kakashi's usual ambivalent expression.
Beneath all that pleasant impassivity though, Kakashi was actually feeling nothing but white-hot, seething rage. He wasn't even sure who it was directed at— every adult in the village, or just himself? The idea that Naruto had been let down by so many adults in his life to the point he'd learned to hold them all at arm's length was a difficult one to stomach. Kakashi was hardly the most emotionally adept person in the world— far from it, in fact— so he wasn't exactly blameless in this situation. There was definitely more he could have done for Naruto. He'd failed him just as every other adult in his life had failed him.
But this was an opportunity to reverse that, at least a little bit.
Becoming Naruto's sensei had been the easiest and yet most difficult thing he'd ever done in his life. But it was an opportunity he refused to allow to go to anyone else, so he knew he had to take it. Kakashi was very ill suited for dealing with the pedantic upheavals of juvenile adolescents and all the petty problems that went with that. They were tedious and required way more emotional availability than Kakashi had, but we're valuable life lessons and learning opportunities nonetheless. Naruto was— well, he'd known going into this what kind of personality Naruto had. Or rather, what kind of personality he showed to the rest of the world. A brash, arrogant demeanor coupled with a stubborn streak a mile wild, his overblown bravado was intended to annoy and irritate; if people were angry at all his blustering, that meant they weren't angry at the real Naruto. It hurt a lot more when people saw the real you and rejected it; the wound was more raw. Kakashi knew that very well; that was why he'd spent the majority of his life behind both a physical mask and a metaphysical one.
Just because Kakashi knew it was a mask though, didn't mean the best course of action was tearing it off. If anything, it was probably the worst way to handle the blonde. So instead he played along with it; he didn't try to prod at the weak points in Naruto's armor. He treated Naruto kindly, but didn't baby him either. And he pretended as if he wasn't intimately aware of the vulnerability that lay behind that boisterous personality.
In hindsight, he wondered if that was actually the wrong approach. It was the kinder one, to be sure, but it also didn't address any of the underlying issues.
"Whether I'm your sensei or not won't stop me from caring about you." Kakashi said, at length.
Naruto was staring up at him with those big, wide blue eyes. Like it sounded too good to be true, so he didn't believe it.
Kakashi wasn't going to press the issue, though.
His gut was telling him not to, and he was inclined to believe it. He and Naruto couldn't have been any more different personality wise at this age, but he knew if he had been in the blonde's current position he'd believe any further assurances to be nothing but half-hearted posturing.
So instead he reached out to ruffle the blonde's hair for the second time that day.
He'd done it once or twice before, an offhand gesture of affection that symbolized a level of closeness that was both ambiguous and yet obviously intimate. Even then, it tended to be too personal for Sasuke— but it was just the right level of ambiguity for Naruto to tolerate. It wasn't as personal as a hug, or as impersonal as a pat on the shoulder. It was just enough to convey fondness, although not enough to tell just how much. All the same, he knew Naruto's tolerance for affection was just as spotty as Sasuke's, so he tried not to use the gesture too often.
Right now though, it seemed all at once to be too much and yet not enough.
.
.
.
The day of the Chunin Exam nominations arrived and Naruto was just as ill-prepared for it as he had been earlier.
He'd never been more thankful for the ANBU mask. It couldn't do much to hide his astounding lack of height, but at the very least it would hide the stark apprehension readily apparent on his face. He didn't delude himself into thinking that would hide his emotions from more seasoned shinobi, though— even he was starting to be able to read emotions from the tension in people's shoulders, or the tilt to their head, and he was just a novice.
The mask was nice to have, and so was the team that came along with it, if he was being honest.
They still didn't feel like his team; they still felt like strangers to him, even if they were familiar strangers. But he at least knew who they were, had spoken to them before. He couldn't say that for the rest of the ANBU, or even the vast majority of the Jounin and Chunin in the village. And he had Yamato-taichou with him too— that, surprisingly, did go a long way in settling the worst of his nerves. He hadn't realized how much could change from just one dinner, but he felt far more comfortable with his captain than he had earlier. He couldn't imagine that was unintentional on Kakashi-sensei's part.
Not Kakashi-sensei, he reminded himself again, for the umpteenth time. He's not Naruto's sensei. Not anymore. And the announcements today would only solidify that.
So Naruto hid in the anonymous shadows with the rest of his fellow ANBU, even if he didn't really feel like he belonged here with them, obscured by both the fox mask over his face and the staggering bulks of Towa and Koga on either side of him, dwarfing his much smaller figure. He didn't feel safe exactly, but he did feel protected from all sides.
They were so far up in the rafters it was difficult to hear what was even going on below. It felt like all the village's active Jounin not currently out on mission were in attendance, along with an even greater amount of Chunin. He could make out the glint of porcelain from almost every crevice of shadow both up in the tarped ceiling and in the corners of the room, so he could only imagine that the ANBU in attendance was of relative size as the rest of the groups assembled. The small hall should feel almost claustrophobic with this many people crammed into it, but instead it felt positively cavernous. He couldn't hear a thing over the low din of all the people murmuring in the crowds, even when it was clear old man Sarutobi was trying to address the room.
Finally, old man Sarutobi clapped his hands loudly enough to effectively quiet even the most studious gossips. "Alright, alright, settle down everyone. And I can see you writing bets over there, Kamizuki-san— and I will kindly remind all of you that wagering on the youth of the village is not only frowned upon, but beneath the esteemed shinobi protectors of our village."
Yeah, that didn't seem to be stopping anyone. The Chunin in question at least made an attempt to look like he was following orders, scowling even as he bowed and casually slipped his notebook into his back pocket.
On his part, even the Hokage didn't seem to be taking his own words too seriously— or maybe had just long since given up on enforcing them— for he rolled his eyes with a vague wave of his hand.
"I suppose I'm just adding fuel to the fire at this point, but I would like to hear from the instructors of this year's newest Genin teams first."
Naruto saw the fluffy silver hair of his (former) Jounin-sensei trudge to the front of the crowd like he was on a death procession. His two comrades who also stepped forward didn't look all that pleased themselves. As they proceeded forward, whispers lit up across the room like wild fire. That Kamizuki-san was definitely just taking notes behind his back, pen scrawling frantically with his hands clasped behind him as his fellow Chunin came up to whisper in his ear. Naruto could even hear the ANBU around him, normally as still and silent as stone, talk amongst themselves.
"I'm most interested in seeing Hatake Kakashi's team fight. I'd put fifty ryo down on his name."
"Are you crazy? No one's going to take a bet against Kakashi-senpai."
"I dunno, Asuma's apparently got the legendary Ino Shika Chou team. When was the last time you saw all of them in a year like this?"
Naruto was beginning to wonder if all of the shinobi in this village were actually just a bunch of lazy, gossiping old hags.
"Hold on a second!"
The loud voice from below was enough to pull Naruto— and the wagering ANBU behind him— back to the scene at present. Naruto was stunned to realize he recognized that voice. And especially that tone. That particular voice had yelled at him in that particular tone at least once a fortnight, if not once a day, for so many years of his life…
"Hokage-sama, please let me have a word." Iruka-sensei began, stepping forward. "I may be speaking out of place, but all of those nine were in my academy class not too long ago. They are of course very talented, but it's far too early for them to take the exam."
"You know, I became a Chunin when I was six years younger than Naruto," Kakashi noted, mildly, which was probably the most unhelpful thing he could have said in this moment.
"Naruto is different than you!" Iruka-sensei retorted.
None of Naruto's ANBU teammates actually moved, and yet he could feel all their eyes on him. He wanted to melt into the rafter and die. Now he understood why Kakashi was always wearing his damn mask. These things were invaluable.
Beyond just his mortification at the fact two of his sensei's were getting into an argument over him in front of basically every ninja in the village, he also felt irrevocably guilty. He hadn't seen Iruka-sensei in ages. And if anything, this whole ANBU mess wasn't exactly spurring him to visit any time soon. If Iruka-sensei didn't want him becoming Chunin, just what would he think of Naruto not only being promoted to Jounin, but also ANBU? Clearly no one had told the academy instructor of that particular piece of recent news. Also, on an unrelated note, what the hell did Kakashi-sensei mean— he became Chunin six years younger than Naruto was now? He would have been a Chunin at, like, six! How was that even possible?
"— Are you trying to crush these kids?" Iruka was in full on rant mode, Naruto could tell already. "The Chunin Exams have the highest mortality rate precisely for this reason! It's not that the Exams are actually any more difficult than the Jounin Exams, but the participants are just much more inexperienced. And beyond that, there will be plenty of Genin who will have years— if not decades— over these rookies on top of that!"
When Iruka-sensei put it like that, he really did have to wonder what Kakashi was thinking offering up a newly minted squad like Team Seven to that mess. Although at dinner the other day, Yamato-taichou had mentioned something about Kakashi not exactly having much choice in the matter.
"Whether or not that's true is irrelevant." Kakashi returned, unflappable and calm even in the face of Iruka-sensei's wrath.
"In what way?" Iruka choked out, incredulous. "Their inexperience is going to get them all killed!"
"And again, whether they die or not is up to my discretion. I think you're forgetting that they might have been your students at some point, but right now, they're my soldiers."
Naruto couldn't have been the only person in the room holding their breath right now. He knew Kakashi could be scary sometimes… but it never ceased to surprise him.
The two below were so still and silent the air was nearly vibrating with tension around them. Honestly, Naruto was kind of scared for Kakashi. Iruka was out for blood right now; he'd been on the receiving end of that glare enough times to know.
"... Kakashi is correct."
The entire room seemed to let out a collective sigh of relief (or maybe disappointment?) as the Hokage effectively cut clean through the tension.
He let out a long exhale from his pipe, looking old and weary. "Ultimately, this is a decision that rests with their Jounin-sensei. And if they all intend to nominate their teams, then so be it."
Iruka-sensei still looked cross and unreconciled, but he knew better than to defy a decision made directly by the Hokage.
"If that is your will, then there is nothing more for me to say." Iruka replied, stiffly, bowing low to the Hokgae before pivoting smartly on one foot and storming off.
The nomination of the Rookie Nine (or would it be Eight now, technically?) aside, the meeting actually went quite smoothly. Naruto was expecting far more dramatic fanfare, from what he'd heard between Yamato and Kakashi at dinner last night, yet the procedures seemed rather tame to him. Maybe all the drama had been overshadowed by Iruka-sensei? At any rate, the rest of the meeting was rather subdued, and frankly Naruto felt rather subdued himself.
He didn't quite know how to put into words how he felt, but whatever it was, it was an awful feeling. His stomach was in knots, and he almost felt a bit sick. It was actually rather similar to how he felt when the seal was breaking apart; like he was having some kind of surreal, out of body experience. He was so out of sorts he didn't even notice when everyone cleared the room, until Yamato-taichou tapped him on the shoulder.
"Eh— Taichou?" Naruto's head snapped up.
He blinked quickly, surveying the now empty room. When had that happened?
"Meeting's over, Naruto-kun," Yamato said, and then hopped down from the rafters. After a beat, Naruto followed him.
"Uh, sorry about that. I was… thinking about stuff." If it sounded this lame to his own ears, he didn't want to even think about how bad it sounded to Yamato.
Somehow though, Yamato just took it in stride. "It was rather a lot to take in, wasn't it? To be honest, it was actually fairly tame this year though, overall. Last year Oikawa-san said some rather uncharitable things about Mitsuba-san's team and ended up pinned to the wall with senbon. This was, of course, after Asakura-san had dumped a pot of boiling tea over his head. And the year before that, Katsuragi-san and Kaji-san actually got into a fist fight— although calling it a fight would probably be a bit too kind…"
Yamato cut himself off before he could really get into the reminiscing. He chuckled. "Suffice to say, there was good reason Kakashi-senpai hadn't been all that enthused with having to be the main attraction this year."
Naruto mulled his words over. He followed Yamato out of the compound, although he wasn't entirely sure where they were going.
"To be honest, Taichou… I don't really understand why Kakashi-sensei would even teach Genin at all."
Yamato seemed surprised. "Really?"
Naruto nodded. "Well, yeah. It's just, he might make himself out to be a super lazy, always tardy, perverted loser—
Yamato hid his chuckle under a well-timed cough.
"— but he's actually, like, pretty cool. I mean, everyone in ANBU really looks up to him, and I feel like a lot of the shinobi in the village do too. And he apparently was a Chunin before he even turned ten?"
He looked to Yamato for confirmation. Yamato nodded.
Naruto threw his hands up. "I barely even graduated from the Academy at ten! It just doesn't make any sense. I don't understand why any super cool ninja would ever want to get stuck teaching a bunch of brats like— well, like me, I guess."
Yamato couldn't help but smile, launching himself up onto one of the nearby roofs. Without even a moment of hesitation, or even a pause to take a breath, Naruto leapt right up after him. He didn't even think Naruto recognized what he'd done— gathered chakra effortlessly to his feet in the perfect amount to execute just enough lift to get him up to the roof, without accidentally shooting himself over the mountain. As it turned out, Naruto had stopped being one of those 'brat's and was well on his way to being a 'super cool ninja'.
"You know, a lot of those 'super cool ninja' tend to have a lot of knowledge to pass down to the next generation."
"Well sure, but that never stopped Kakashi-sensei from failing all the other Genin teams Hokage-sama tried to give him." Naruto pointed out, scratching his nose.
Yamato didn't bother to hide his chuckle this time. "Yes that is very true. But, there was indeed a reason."
Naruto peered up at him, confused. "Huh?"
"Give it a bit of thought, Naruto-kun." Yamato said, gently.
Naruto frowned. Thinking had never been one of his particular strong suits.
His eyes lit up after a moment. Then he scowled. "I see. It's because of that bastard Sasuke, as usual."
Yamato smiled beneath his mask. "Not quite." He replied, to Naruto's surprise. "In reality, Kakashi-senpai was pretty adamant about not teaching the Uchiha."
"Really?" Naruto asked, with absolute disbelief.
"Is that really so surprising?" His captain asked, sounding genuinely curious.
Naruto shook his head in wonder. "Well, yeah. I mean, everyone just goes on and on about Sasuke, all the time. I get he's all super important 'cause he's the last Uchiha and all that, and he's smart and stuff, but it just gets annoying after a while you know? And Kakashi-sensei has a Sharingan, so it makes sense he would teach Sasuke how to use his. So I guess it's just weird to hear that Kakashi-sensei wasn't jumping for joy at the thought of teaching him."
Yamato really did laugh aloud at that. "Quite the opposite. You could say senpai has, ah, a lot of history with the Uchiha clan, so he didn't think he was the best fit, so to speak."
Naruto had never heard anything like that before. Then again, he was starting to realize with profound clarity that he really didn't know nearly as much about this village and the people in it as he thought he did.
"Actually, Naruto-kun, the only reason Kakashi-senpai agreed to become a Jounin-sensei and teach Team Seven at all was because of you."
Naruto was so surprised he actually missed his step on the next jump, and nearly planted face first into the roofing. He just barely managed to catch himself in time, stumbling a little before catching up to his captain.
"...Really?" It sounded rather unbelievable. Why on earth would Kakashi want to teach him, the dead last? Why would he give up what sounded like a very long and famous career as an elite Jounin and ANBU member to teach Naruto, of all people?
"Yes, really. Senpai is quite fond of you, if that wasn't obvious."
It was— now that Naruto was really thinking about it. Especially recently. But he didn't really understand why. He didn't feel comfortable enough to ask.
.
.
.
The scent of blood on the wind traveled across the quiet rooftops.
The Kyuubi no Kitsune raised his head to the night wind. By his side, a human with a porcelain mask in the shape of a cat turned to him curiously.
"Kyuubi?"
He pulled his gaze from the full moon high above them, the movement almost reluctant. He was always doing that, she noticed. Staring at the moon.
"You have quite a lot of interesting individuals in your village these days," the fox remarked, idly.
"Do you smell something?" Her teammates might not take him entirely seriously when he mentioned smelling things normal humans could not, but she would hardly take his word so lightly. Humans like her knew nothing about youkai, beings wrapped in myth and mystery.
"Blood," he said simply.
She glanced down quickly at the body by their feet— yet another intruder that committed suicide before they could be aprehended.
He shook his head. "New blood." He clarified.
Youkai blood, he pointedly did not add.
His companion looked intrigued, but also reluctant to move. "There should be plenty of Chunin patrolling the streets right now who can handle whatever situation it is."
The Kyuubi conceded her point with a shrug. If she wanted to dismiss it so easily, he was hardly going to argue with her.
She sighed, gesturing to the body in front of them. "Frankly, we have our hands full with this problem already. It's certainly not helping that you weren't exaggerating when you said there are a lot of 'interesting individuals' with easy access into the city."
This was a problematic situation already; the upcoming Chunin exams were only making it infinitely worse. There was an unknown party that was sending these people into the city, for unknown reasons. At this point, they couldn't even figure out how they were even getting into the village. It was a frustrating conundrum, to say the least. And it was hardly coincidental that these strange events coincided with the Chunin exams— the only time such a flood of foreigners were ever allowed into the village.
This is why every ninja in the village hated these blasted exams, Yugao digressed. They were the epitome of a security nightmare.
"If these exams are such a security hazard, why are they still continued in this manner?"
Yugao looked up, surprised.
This wasn't the first time the Kyuubi no Kitsune had expressed a surprising interest in human affairs. He seemed strangely curious over such matters. Yugao wasn't sure what to make of it.
All the same, she supposed it was harmless to answer. "As tedious as it is to be the host village, it's something of a necessary evil. Other villages use this opportunity every year to spy on each other— it's basically an open secret."
Interesting. So it was an opportunity to spy and be spied on. Because it was expected, no one, not even the host village, was at a clear disadvantage. If anything, this was a perfect opportunity for Konoha to use their home advantage and gain collateral on other villages.
It's not as if Kyuubi was unfamiliar with the exams themselves; he'd actually gone through them here in Konoha personally with Kushina. But this was the first time he was seeing it from this perspective.
Frankly, it was even more tedious to be in his position currently than it had been as an actual participant.
He and his teammate delivered the most recent body to the autopsy team at T&I just as the moon began its descent from above the clifftops. The woman disappeared almost immediately after that, probably wary of spending any more time in his presence than necessary. She's pretty smart, for a human, he thought, with perhaps even a small modicum of respect. She at least seemed to read the undercurrent that swam around him, the tangible aura of otherness that warned away any reasonable creature from getting too close to him. There was good reason for humans to fear youkai, after all, even if they no longer remembered it.
Speaking of youkai, it seemed a wayward brother of his was causing trouble within Kyuubi's territory. Perhaps it was time to get reacquainted.
.
際限ない犠牲を
朦朧とした理想を
もう無駄にしないようにと
.