Author's Note:
My dear readers, here is the usual weekly update for my story. Speaking of which, I have important news for you: from now on I may decide to publish new chapters just once every two weeks. After all, I think that quality is better than quantity - and I'm afraid I can't live up to my own expectations if I keep on updating this story as often as usual.
That being said, let me thank you my loyal readers and reviewers. Although the number of updates may slow down in the upcoming weeks, fear not, Maz1X: I adored Kira' stories and I was very sad when she dropped them; as a consequence, I am keen on finishing this fanfic in order not to let down my readers (and myself). I adore Agda and Stein and I want to do them justice!
As for Elspeth, your review brought the usual happy smile on my face. Stein and Agds are definitely two goofballs! Also, we'll see more of Agda's nightmares in this chapter.
I really enjoyed kaibaeskyrim's questions (apropos, don't be shy: if any of you wants to know something about my story/characters/whatever, just ask away!) and I'm very interested in answering them. In this fic I plan on ending both the main and the civil war questlines, whereas I'll leave the other factions to a possible sequel. Agds will follow Stein's adventures from up-close, but she won't always be fighting by his side - after all, being the Archmage of Winterhold is a rather heavy task.
Speaking of the questlines in Skyrim, I do agree with Valtieri: at the end of the Companions' and of the College's tasks, I felt as though everything had been way too hurried. I tried to change that in this fic, but I'm not sure I suceeded - in my opinion, Agda's journey "from zero to hero" felt a little bit rushed even if I tried to slow things down as much as possible. By the way, I'm really glad you liked my nickname for her! Also, I adore what you wrote: "Agda became the new Ice Queen of Winterhold. Now Stein must break the ice". It's such a good sentence!
As far as this instalment is concerned, it was originally meant to be way much longer; yet, I had to split it in two parts in order to explore Agda's problems in the way I wanted. Our little mage is still recovering from all her troubles - and Stein is there to help her. Will he suceed in his task? Let's find out in this chapter (and in the next)!
Enjoy!
7th of Frostfall
The main hall of the temple was completely empty. Frowning, Agda took a tentative step in the dimly-lit chamber, her ebony sword in one hand and a magic staff in the other. The young mage was tired and sore and sleepy, but most of all she was worried: although she didn't know what kind of dangers were lurking in the dark, her exploration of that ancient sanctuary had namely prepared her for the worst.
As Agda carefully walked towards the little shrine at the center of the hall, the only sounds to be heard were caused by her heavy boots. After casting a worried gaze all over the chamber, the mage eventually reached her destination. The shrine in the middle of that vaste place was beautifully engraved and hosted a dusty book on its top. The old tome was decorated with images that portayed a dragon and his faithful admirers.
Biting her lower lip in concentration, Agda grabbed the book and opened it slowly, carefully, almost lovingly: after years and years of efforts, she'd finally found something that could help retrieve her memories.
Nothing happened when the girl took hold of that tome - yet, a few seconds later, the ink of the book suddenly turned to blood, thus staining the hands of the young mage. With a surprised gasp, Agda tried to close the tome and abandon that cursed place. Much to her shock, she soon realized she couldn't move: magic vines had namely appeared around her legs, thus preventing her from leaving. A moment later, a blackish globe of light began floating in front of her.
"You have come to me once again", that unnatural being said with its slow and seductive voice. "Tell me, Agda of Anvil: why do you refuse my help, but keep on looking for my powers?"
Despite that worrying situation, Agda's reply was very firm.
"I don't need any help from a Daedra", she snorted in disgust. "And the reasons behind my actions are mine and mine alone".
The globe of light produced a sound that lied somewhere between a chuckle and a snort. A moment later, however, every trace of amusement fell from its voice.
"Such an arrogant woman!", the creature snorted. "I will offer you my help for the last time, mortal, then I will deal with you as I see fit. Yield to me and you will have everything you want: knowledge, power, memories. In return, I will only need your devotion".
"And my soul", Agda scoffed. "A small price for the memories of just one night".
"A small price indeed if compared to the powers I will grant you".
Agda obstinately shook her head.
"You can torment me night after night, but I will never surrender. You have my memories? Keep them: I don't want them".
This time the blackish globe of light burst into a creepy laughter.
"LIAR!", it shouted once that unexpected display of humor was over. "You have come here through ungodly perils and dangers, yet you pretend you do not want my powers. I will show you the errors in your way, mortal!"
Agda made to reply, but right then a few more magic vines appeared around her arms and her face, thus preventing her from moving and from screaming. A moment later, an old acquaintance of hers walked into her visual field and caused the girl to whimper in fear. Ancano's eyes were fuming with hatred, whereas his lips were curled in a content smile. In his hands was the dagger he'd used to torture Agda and stab Steinarius.
"I bet you missed me", the Thalmor smirked.
A moment later, when the tip of his dagger found the corner of Agda's mouth, the girl closed her eyes and screamed with all the force she could muster. Only then did the young mage awaken from her nightmare - and as she found herself on the top of the tallest tower of the College, she buried her scarred face in her hands and broke into a desperate cry.
Steinarius carefully eyed Agda. The young mage was sitting at the desk of her room and was completely focused on the book she was reading. The light of the nearby candles underlined her scars and showed just how exhausted she was. Frowning, Steinarius wondered whether Agda was still having nightmares and whether the rumors regarding her were true. Did the Archmage really spend her nights on the roof of the College to prevent others from hearing her scream, or was it just one of the many unfounded legends that surrounded her? The Dragonborn really had no idea.
"Staring at people is very impolite".
Agda's voice snapped Steinarius out of his thoughts. The woman had stopped reading and was now scorching his face with her deep brown eyes.
"I'm sorry, Agds, I was thinking of something private", the Imperial sheepishly replied. "By the way, you look really good when you're so concentrated".
"Keep your compliments to yourself, Stein", the Archmage said. Her voice was surprisingly cold. "I know you were staring at my scars. Unfortunately, Drevis' ointment doesn't work in such a badly-lit environment, so you'll have to get used to seeing those marks. It's either that or you leave this room and don't come back until I'm done with my work".
Confronted with that harsh reply, Steinarius deadpanned. He couldn't understand why Agda was reacting so badly to his words.
"Agds, you know that I don't care about your scars", the Imperial pointed out with a confused frown. "I've got used to them and..."
"OF COURSE YOU'VE GOT USED TO THEM!", Agda unexpectedly broke him off with a shrill scream. All of a sudden the mage began yelling like an obsessed. "Everyone in this stupid town has got used to them, yet they can't stop staring at me when I walk down the street! You all think I'm dumb, don't you? You think I don't notice it when you..."
Steinarius stopped the woman with a gesture. Agda had become much snappier over the previous week, but the man had never seen her so angry - and to say it all, the Dragonborn found the unjustified rage of the young mage rather scary and worrying.
"Agda, you know it's not like that", the Imperial said with the firmest voice he could produce at the moment. "No one stares at your scars when they see you: it's just a feeling you..."
"Just a feeling?! Are you calling me crazy, Stein? Because if you are, I'd like to remind you that without my help..."
Sighing in exasperation, Steinarius closed his eyes and massaged his temples with his long fingers. Agda kept on screaming at him for what felt like a lifetime, but the man didn't listen to anything she said: right then he was focused on finding a way to calm down the young mage. Waiting for the right chance to explain the reasons behind his behavior, Steinarius allowed Agda to let off steam, then he cautiously resumed talking.
"I'm sorry for staring at you, Agds, and I'm even more sorry for annoying you", the Dragonborn said once the new Archmage of Winterhold eventually stopped shouting. The Dragonborn hoped that, now that she was done letting off steam, Agda could finally listen to him without losing her temper. "I wasn't staring at your scars: I was just trying to understand whether you're doing fine".
Agda scoffed.
"Of course I'm doing fine!", she ironically said. "Jarl Korir has written another angry letter to Ulfric, the Thalmor have formally complained about me to Elisif, the Synod has criticized me because I didn't do anything to help their expedition in Mzulft... Apart from these silly problems, however, I'm doing perfectly fine. Actually, I'd say that I've never felt better in my whole life!"
Steinarius shook his head at the sarcasm in Agda's words. He couldn't believe how much the girl had changed ever since she became the new Archmage of the College.
"I wasn't talking about the problems connected to your job", he pointed out. "I was talking about you, Agds. You would warn me if something were wrong, wouldn't you?"
Agda seemed confused by the concern she saw in Steinarius' grey eyes. Willing to prevent another outburst of rage on her side, the man was quick to resume talking.
"You don't need to answer my question: I just want you to know that you can count on me. I'll always be there for you, you just have to tell me what troubles you".
There was a moment of silence, then Agda sighed.
"Nothing troubles me", she stated while avoiding her friend's gaze. "By the way, I thank you for your concern. It is really moving".
Steinarius frowned at Agda's coldness. He made to ask her another question, but the mage was quick to break him off with a gesture.
"I mean it, Stein", she repeated. This time her tone was much softer, whereas her expression conveyed all her tiredness. "It's good to know that someone still cares about me".
As he listened to those words, Steinarius couldn't resist anymore: he shifted in his chair, then he draped an arm around Agda' shoulders and pressed a light kiss to the top of her head. He'd never seen her so weak and was keen on providing her with all the comfort she needed.
"You should take a break", he suggested while freeing the girl from his embrace and pointing at the many books on her desk. "For example, this afternoon we could go for a walk along the coast - and once we're back, we can go to the inn and have ourselves a steaming cup of hot cocoa. It sounds good, doesn't it?"
Steinarius smiled as he explained his plan for that afternoon. When Agda sighed, however, the man's expression immediately turned sad.
"I have too much to do, Stein", the young mage told him with a guilty look. "I'm afraid you'll have to take a walk on your own. Perhaps you could ask Onmund for company: he's quite a nice fellow".
When the girl got up from her chair and left the room, Steinarius sighed in defeat. He seemed unable to smash through the high walls Agda had built all around her.
Steinarius wasn't the only one who wanted Agda to take some time off work. The other mages from the College were namely as worried as him and soon decided they needed to do something to cheer their new boss up.
"Why don't we throw a surprise party at the tavern?", Drevis suggested one morning. "It will do Agda good to see that the people from Winterhold support her!"
Everyone agreed with the Dunmer's plan and immediately started preparing for the celebrations. Willing to make that party truly unforgettable, Steinarius wrote a letter to the Imperial Camp of the Rift: he knew how much Agda cared about Adaeze and wanted the Redguard to take part in the feast. Hopefully the presence of that weird woman would help Agda retrieve part of her cheerfulness.
Just like Steinarius, the people of Winterhold were keen on organizing a great party: they had noticed the great changes in Agda's personality too and wanted to show her all their love and affection and support. Only Korir protested against the celebrations, but no one paid him any mind: although many people in the small town openly supported the Stormcloaks, none of them could stand their paranoid Jarl.
The mages of the College tried hard to keep the party a secret from Agda. Luckily enough, their strategy was a success: completely focused on her job, the young mage didn't suspect anything until the night of the celebrations - and when she understood that her friends had thrown a special party just for her, it was already too late: spurred by Colette and Faralda's enthusiasm, the young Archmage could do nothing but sigh in exasperation and face the joyful smiles of her friends and colleagues.
While preparing himself for Agda's party, Steinarius nervously eyed himself in the mirror. The man had just shaved and was carefully studying the newly-formed scars on his torso. There was a weird line near his heart, right where Ancano had stabbed him; a bit lower, in the middle of his stomach, laid a long cut that reminded him of his battle against Miraak; on his arm there were the gashes left by the vampire who had stabbed him almost one year earlier, whereas his injured shoulder was still bluish and bruised. Luckily enough, the weird marks left by Hermaeus Mora's tentacles had disappeared both from his face and his back.
As Steinarius was reflecting about that fact, someone knocked on the door to his room. Agda walked in without waiting for a reply and blushed as soon as she realized that her friend was only partially dressed.
"I'm sorry", she blurted out, embarrassement well evident in her voice. "I just wanted to grab one of my dresses. I'll come back later".
Before the girl could leave, Steinarius stopped her.
"Agds, this is your room", he said with a smile. "You can come in whenever you want - after all, I'm only a host".
"A host that is currently half-naked", the Nord pointed out while raising an eyebrow.
"You act as though you've never seen me naked, Agds", Steinarius replied with a low chuckle. "There's no need to pretend: the scar on my back didn't disappear on its own, did it?"
When Agda blushed even more, Steinarius realized that she'd been the one to erase the scars that Hermaeus Mora had left on his face and his back.
"You saw me naked too, Stein", she sheepishly pointed out. "I guess that we're even".
Steinarius chuckled at the embarrassement in Agda's voice, then proceeded to put on the best shirt he had in his knapsack. Now that he was dressed, the Archmage walked up to one of the crates in her room and took hold of a beautiful grey dress.
"I like it", Steinarius commented the girl's choice. "I think it will look great on you".
"I can't wear it", Agda replied while shaking her head. "The neckline is too low".
Steinarius approached the young mage, then craned his neck to take a better look at the dress.
"I don't think it's a problem", he pointed out. "Some women would kill to have a cleavage like yours".
Agda rolled her eyes at that, then she proceeded to analyze all the other dresses in her crate. Unfortunately, in her opinion none of them fitted her anymore: one was too tight, the other one showed off too much skin, another one was sleeveless. Steinarius was quick to realize that all of Agda's problems were actually due to the fact that all those clothes weren't long enough to cover the scars on her arms, on her chest and on her neck.
"We could go shopping in Solitude", the man said in an attempt to cheer Agda up. "They have amazing dresses there".
The mage gave him a skeptical look.
"I didn't know you were an expert in women's clothes".
"I'm a man of many talents", the Dragonborn replied with a chuckle. Unfortunately, Agda didn't share his amusement.
"It's too late for me to travel to Solitude", she scoffed in annoyance. "That stupid party is tonight. You knew about it all along, didn't you?"
Slightly scared by the murderous light in Agda's eyes, Steinarius hesitated.
"Are you going to kill me if I tell you the truth?"
Agda sighed, then she sat down on a chair and took her head in her hands. Steinarius was quick to crouch beside her and lay a hand on her knee.
"Don't worry, Agds: we'll find something you can wear", he told her with his best reassuring tone. "It won't be difficult: you'd look great even in a fishing net, cutey pie".
When Agda didn't reply, Steinarius inwardly cursed: as well as scarring her face, Ancano had seemingly destroyed her self-esteem once and for all; yet, the Imperial was keen on finding a solution to all the problems of that lovely girl. After all she'd suffered, Agda namely needed to spend a good evening with her friends - and Steinarius was ready to go miles to give her the wonderful party she so clearly deserved.
Luckily enough, the mages from the College were quick to solve the problems related to Agda's wardrobe. Prompted by Steinarius, Enthir namely provided the girl with a beautiful blue dress that underlined her figure without showing off too much of her skin. Moreover, Sergius Turranius - son of a wealthy tailor from Skingrad - was quick to attach long sleeves to that garment, so that Agda could use them to hide the scars on her arms. Confronted with that special dress, the Archmage finally found the confidence to take part in the celebrations.
That night the Frozen Hearth Inn was full of people - and when Agda walked in, all of them burst into a loud applause. Confronted with the girl's embarrassement, Steinarius realized he had probably looked just like that when Jarl Balgruuf had named him Thane of Whiterun and organized huge celebrations in his honor - unlike Agda, however, the Dragonborn had avoided that torture by escaping Whiterun through an hidden exit.
Despite her embarrassement, at first Agda seemed to enjoy that little feast. When Steinarius walked up to her with a glass of brandy and asked her to dance, however, the girl immediately turned down his offer.
"I didn't know you liked dancing", Agda frowned when Steinarius insisted.
"I like dancing with you", the Imperial shrugged. When Agda didn't reply, Steinarius sighed: there was no way he could talk the girl into dancing with him.
Over the following hours, the Dragonborn was asked to dance by many different women. Faralda, Nirya, even Colette, all of them seemed keen on making sure he wouldn't get bored. Steinarius wasn't a great dancer, but that night he decided to ignore his clumsiness and have some fun for the first time since he'd slain Miraak - and for the first time in such a long time, that party allowed him to forget all of his problems. Steinarius was safe, his body was healthy, his stomach was full and he wasn't risking his life to save the world; but most of all, the man thought, he finally was in the same room as Agda.
Earlier that night, while looking at his scars, Steinarius had thought about his relationship with the young Nord. That young innkeeper had first caught his attention because of her weird story - and later, after he'd tried to kill her, Steinarius had spent a lot of time with her because he was keen on making up for his mistakes. Slowly but steadily, however, the Dragonborn had been fascinated by Agda' sweetness, by her calmness, by her enthusiasm towards life - and when she'd helped him forget about Vigdis, he'd decided to give himself a chance to be happy together with that beautiful sweet girl. Back then Steinarius had felt very intrigued by Agda, but his feelings hadn't been strong enough to prevent him from ignoring the little flaws in their relationship. As he looked at her that night, however, the Dragonborn realized that he'd hopelessly fallen in love with that complicated mage.
When Birna asked him for a second dance, Steinarius decided to turn down her offer. Rather than finding himself another partner, the Imperial walked up to Agda and took a good look at her. The girl was stunning in her new blue dress, but her eyes were full of sadness anyway. As he noticed that, Steinarius ardently wished he could make all her problems disappear.
"You're having a lot of fun", Agda said when the Imperial finally approached her. She was smiling, but Steinarius noticed she wasn't really enjoying herself. "Be careful when you go out, though: your black shirt is so sweated that you'll get a cold".
Steinarius was moved by Agda's concern.
"I'm a werewolf", he reminded her after leaning towards her so that he could whisper in her ears. "And then, I won't go out for a while: first I want to dance with you at least once, Agda".
Confronted with those words, the mage was quick to shake her head in horror.
"Stein, there's no way I'm going to dance", she told the Imperial. "Don't press me, okay? I just don't feel like it".
Steinarius frowned at the panick in Agda's voice.
"What's the problem, Agds?", he gently asked her. "Are you hurt?", he enquired further. "Or do your boots hurt? Would you rather dance with someone else? I can fetch you Onmund if you want: he's quite a nice boy and..."
"I don't want to dance with anyone at all, Stein", Agda broke the man off. "I just... I don't want to stand in the spotlight", she eventually confessed.
Much to Agda's confusion, Steinarius' face lit up when he heard those words: he'd namely understood why the girl didn't want to dance. The lights in the middle of the tavern were namely very strong, therefore the mage was afraid they would underline the scars on her face.
Willing to find a solution to that problem, Steinarius grabbed Agda's glass of wine and laid it on a nearby table. A moment later he draped his right arm around her waist and took hold of one of her hands. Only then did he begin moving back and forth in a very goofish way.
Shocked by that behavior, Agda raised one of her eyebrows.
"Stein, what..."
"I'm dancing", the man replied with a very serious expression. "And like it or not, you're dancing with me until the end of this song".
"But we're completely out of time!", the mage protested. "And then, this tune is about to end!"
"I'll sing a song myself then", Stein replied without flinching. A moment later, the man cleared his throat and began singing. "There once was a hero named Ragnar the Red, who came riding to Whiterun from ole Roriksteeeeead..."
There was a moment of astonished silence during which Steinarius thought Agda was about to hurt him with a fireball. Then, however, the mage broke into a loud laughter.
"You really are incredible", she commented with a chuckle.
"The one and only Dragonborn, at your service", Steinarius cheekily replied. "I am incredible indeed".
Agda chuckled again and Steinarius took advantage of that moment to tighten his grip on her and lay his forehead against hers.
"I want you to be happy, Agds", he whispered against her skin. "You deserve it".
Agda didn't say anything: she just laid her free hand on Steinarius' chest, then she closed her eyes and relaxed against him.
For once in the last few weeks, she could finally forget about everything she'd endured.