Author's note:
My dear readers, here I am with a new chapter to make up for my long absence from last month. First, however, let me thank all of those who were kind enough to leave a review on my previous instalment.
I really have to thank miketech for their opinion and for pointing out my (ab)use of the word 'namely'. I have a lot of problems with this damned word, so I've decided that from now on I'll use it as little as possible. Thank you for so much for the hint and the constructive criticism!
As for Valtieri, I'm happy to see I'm not the only one who hated Sinderion - actually, his death in Skyrim made me feel guilty for hating him so much during Oblivion.
Also, Agda was acting weird indeed during chapter 59, but I blame it on the whole "Agda the Cold" issues. Hopefully she wasn't too out of character! As for the dragon, I see you already know what is going to happen in chapter 61 for courtesy of Stein the Clumsy ahah!
As for Guest, I really have to thank you for writing one of the best reviews I've ever received. Not only did it make me squeal in delight - it also made me tear up. I love Agda and Stein so much and I'm so glad I managed to pass that on to my readers!
As for Elspeth and kaibaeskyrim, I'm really happy you enjoyed chapter 59. Also, I hope that this latest instalment will live up to your expectations, kaibaeskyrim. I was really looking forward to posting it and I hope you won't be disappointed.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, may I present you... *the chapter*
Enjoy and let me know what you think!
11th of Second Seed, 4E 202
As Steinarius opened the room to the little hut, Agda sighed in relief. She hadn't realized how tired she was until that damned Chaurus had litteraly spat poison at her and now she couldn't wait to get clean up and finally go to sleep. It was probably early evening in the surface world, but the mage couldn't care less: she was exhausted and was in terrible need of rest.
As she entered the little shelter, Agda caught a glimpse of a crimson Nirnroot in a pot. That sight made her scoff: it was because of that stupid plant that she had just risked to become blind. Steinarius seemed to realize how she was feeling and didn't ask her any question; yet, when the man noticed a human skeleton on the floor of the hut, he immediately broke the silence that had fallen between him and Agda.
"The poor sod was likely killed by Falmer", the Imperial stated after crouching beside the skeleton and analyzing it carefully. "Perhaps his journal will help us understand what happened", he added after noticing the little notebook near that old corpse.
There was a moment of silence during which Steinarius allowed his eyes to run over the last pages of the dusty journal. In the meanwhile Agda laid her knapsack in a corner and started collecting some clean clothes. In normal circumstances, she would have never slept in a hut that hosted a corpse - yet, hers weren't normal circumstances at all.
"Agds, maybe this thing can interest you", Steinarius suddenly told her. "This man was an alchemist", he added while pointing at the skeleton. "He was killed while he was trying to collect crimson Nirnroots for one of his studies".
Without stopping her research for clean clothes, Agda scoffed. The fate of that unlucky alchemist was a reminder of the risks she'd just taken in order to analyze one of those stupid plants.
"The name was Sinderion", Steinarius continued. "I think you should keep his journal, Agds: it's only fair for an alchemist like you to inherit it".
Agda would have liked to complain, but the name of the late explorer managed to draw her attention.
"Are you sure the man's name is Sinderion?", she asked, curiosity finally evident in her voice. "There once was a very famous alchemist by that name. He studied Nirnroots all his life, then he disappeared without leaving traces".
"Take a look at the journal yourself", Steinarius replied while handling the dusty tome to his friend. "I think this man is the same guy you're talking about".
As she took hold of the journal and read the beautiful writings engraved in it, Agda immediately forgot her misadventure from earlier: she was an alchemist, therefore the discovery of Sinderion's notebook immediately filled her with happiness and joy. Also, it managed to refuel her enthusiasm for Blackreach: despite the accident with the Chaurus, she was now determined to unveil all the secrets hidden in that mysterious place.
By the time Agda was done reading Sinderion's notebook, Steinarius had already disposed of the alchemist's corpse by burying it in a little grave not far from the hut. When the girl saw her friend return to their den, she immediately felt sorry for not helping him with that tiresome task.
"Don't worry", Steinarius chuckled when confronted with the girl's apologies. "I think Sinderion would have been happy to know that his research is now in good hands. Also, I've taken the chance to bathe in the weird river that runs across Blackreach. It is not poisonous, which is very good news. Now, however, I can't wait to get out of this smelly armor".
Those words were enough to snap Agda out of Sinderion's interesting journal, as they reminded her of the pile of clothes she'd previously taken out of her knapsack. Despite being in one of the most dangerous places in Skyrim, the Archmage hadn't forgotten the value of personal hygiene.
"I think I'll take a bath too", she announced while closing Sinderion's notebook.
Steinarius frowned at the news, but he fought the urge to complain.
"Do you want me to come with you?", he simply asked.
When Agda hastily shook her head, Steinarius didn't protest.
"Just be careful", he told her. "And try to stay away from Nirnroots", he added.
Agda made to protest, but right then she realized that Steinarius hadn't meant to upset her. Her close encounter with a Chaurus had almost scared him to to death, a fact the Imperial still hadn't forgotten; yet, the man trusted her enough to allow her to go bathing without his protection. The girl was glad Steinarius thought her able to defend herself from the dangerous creatures lurking in Blackreach.
After promising the Dragonborn that she would be careful, Agda grabbed a clean set of robes and made her way out of her shelter. As she reached the nearby river and rested her tired body in the cold water, the mage was reminded that the lights of Blackreach made the scars on her body stand out despite all the potions she usually drank. Agda sighed – at least, Steinarius was already acquainted with the awful marks that marred her limbs and her face and her neck. At the same time, the girl reflected on the way she'd treated her best friend over the previous few days. She'd been really mean towards him and she sincerely hoped Steinarius would forgive her for being so snappish.
When she finally felt clean and relaxed, the Archmage walked back to her den. She'd replaced her robes with simple Restoration clothes and was looking forward to taking off her boots.
As she entered Sinderion's former laboratory, Agda noticed that a wonderful aroma was filling the air. Steinarius greeted her with a relieved smile, then he pointed at a small plate on the other side of the table he was currently sitting at. The Imperial had already eaten his soup and had changed into a pair of baggy breeches and a white undershirt. He was busy studying an old map, but he stopped his analysis in order to present Agda with her dinner.
"I've cooked some cabbage soup, if you want to eat something", he informed her. "If I remember correctly, it's your favourite".
Agda was moved by Steinarius' kindness and found the soup to be very tasty. She ate it as fast she could, then she walked up to the double-sized bed inside the room and sat down on it. When she finally shed her boots, the girl felt as though she'd just been reborn.
"Feels good, doesn't it?", Steinarius asked her without raising his eyes from the map he was still reading. When she noticed the light wrinkle in the middle of his forehead, Agda understood that something was worrying him.
"Are you alright?"
"Today we've explored the whole Southern area of the cave, so tomorrow we can move north", Steinarius said while avoiding a direct answer. "This place is fucking huge".
"We're not in a hurry".
Steinarius chuckled at that – a tiny bitter chuckle that completely lacked of happiness.
"I know, but I want to get out of here as soon as I can. I don't like anything in here – I don't like the air, the mushrooms, the cold, not even the roads. By Talos, even the water has a strange color!"
Agda perfectly understood what Steinarius meant. Also, she knew that his dislike for Blackreach was mainly to blame on her close encounter with that damned Chaurus.
"I hate this place too", tha mage confessed. "I particularly despise the light".
"The light?"
When Steinarius laid his eyes upon her, Agda blushed. Thinking out loud was definitely a bad habit, she thought to herself as soon as she noticed the confusion on the man's face.
"The light coming from the river and the mushrooms makes the scars on my face look even uglier", the mage explained, embarrassement well evident in her voice. "It's the first thing I realized once we reached Blackreach: I made to cast a spell, and all of a sudden the scars on my hands were there, angering and scaring me and mocking me. I'm lucky you don't scare easily".
When Agda distorted her gaze from Steinarius, the Imperial realized that she was facing a very sensitive topic. Even though Ancano had been dead for almost one year, the mage still wasn't used to showing her scars; as a consequence, she felt deeply unease in the weird environment of Blackreach.
"Agds…", the Dragonborn simply said as soon as he realized how the girl was feeling. The man's voice full of sweetness and tenderness and support, a fact that filled the young Nord with dread. She hated it when people pitied her and, of all people, she just couldn't accept being pitied by her best friend.
"It's okay, Stein, it really is", Agda defended herself. "It's nothing to worry about".
There was a moment of silence, then Steinarius made to stand up and hug his friend. As soon as she realized what he was about to do, however, Agda stopped him with a gesture.
"Stein, it really is okay", she lied. "Don't mind me when I complain about my scars: after all, I should have got used to them by now".
There was another long moment of silence during which Agda tried to avoid Steinarius' gaze. The man was staring at her flushed face, causing the mage to feel rather unease. Agda hated knowing that people could see her scars - and she hated it even more when people pitied her because of all she'd been through.
"I wish there were a way to relive Ancano", Steinarius eventually murmured, thus breaking the silence inside the small hut. "So that I could kill him over and over again".
Agda smiled at that, then she desperately looked for a new topic of conversation. At that moment her eyes fell on the bed where she was sitting.
"You've placed two wolf furs in the middle of the bed", she said while pointing at the pelts Steinarius had used to divide the bed in two perfectly equal parts. "Are you afraid we're gonna be cold?"
Confronted with that abrupt change of topic, Steinarius shrugged.
"It's quite a big bed, so I thought we could share it. Nonetheless, I don't want to get too close to you while I'm asleep: it could scare you or make you unease, and that's something I want to avoid. You deserve some good rest, Agds".
As soon as she heard that weird explanation, Agda frowned.
"In Riverwood you didn't have problems trespassing your part of the bed".
"Yes, but Riverwood was a long time ago", Steinarius replied. "It was before the College for you, and before Solstheim for me. Also, it was well before Ancano for both of us".
As she met Steinarius' placid eyes, Agda was provided with a sudden flow of unpleasant memories – Ancano's hands untying her robes, his lips trailing their path down her neck, his body pressing against her limp and battered one. As she remembered the way the Thalmor had used her after torturing, the girl felt a cold shiver run down her spine. She had never told Steinarius about it – at least, she had never told him openly; yet, those memories immediately had her understand why the man was so worried about scaring her during the night.
"You know what Ancano did to me", Agda said, surprise well evident in her voice. "All this time, you've always known".
"Frida told me after you regained your memory in Nightcaller Temple", Steinarius sternly nodded. "Also, you mentioned it one evening while we were in Winterhold. I'm sorry, Agds, I've always been".
"Yet you never brought it up".
"It's not a common topic of conversation, you'll agree", the Dragonborn said, his eyes mortally serious. "Also, I didn't know whether you wanted me to know. I tried to make sure Frida would keep in close contact with you and provide you with the help you needed, but there wasn't much else I could do".
Agda didn't say anything. She'd always believed that episode of her life to be a secret to everyone but Frida; now, instead, she was confronted with the truth. All of a sudden, the reason why Steinarius had clearly divided the two parts of their bed acquired a new meaning.
The young Archmage was silent for a very long time during which Steinarius' eyes never left her face. At last, the man stood up from his chair.
"I'll sleep in my bedroll", he announced while making his way towards his knapsack. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I just thought…"
Those words snapped Agda out of her unpleasant memories. Confronted with the Dragonborn's sheepish expression, she immediately stopped him with a gesture.
"It's okay, Stein", she claimed. "We've already shared the same bed in Labyrinthian, remember? We can do it again. After all, your back will need some decent rest after carrying that heavy armor for the whole day".
The man gently smiled.
"Agds, that night in Labyrinthian you were doing so bad that you almost didn't even realize that you were sleeping with me. I'm serious, though: resting on the floor is perfectly fine with me".
"Well, it isn't with me!", Agda said while unexpectedly raising her voice.
Steinarius looked at her with a confused expression, whereas the Archmage lowered her gaze on her hands, which were resting in her lap. With a sad and tender smile, the Imperial went to sit beside his friend.
"What is going on, Agds?"
Confronted with that enquiry, the girl let out. She'd been feeling bad for more than six months, but Steinarius was the first one who had posed her that question during that long amount of time. His kindness was enough for her eyes to fill with tears.
"I haven't forgotten what happened in the Midden", Agda eventually confessed, her voice feeble with pain and emotion. "I think I have, but I'm only lying to myself. These scars, the way Ancano used me while I was unconscious, the way part of my mind was erased... I can't forget that, Stein, I really can't".
There was a little break, then Agda cleared her throat and resumed speaking. She couldn't stand the way Steinarius was looking at her and felt the need to erase his concern from his face.
"Some weeks ago I tried to sleep with a mage from the Synod, but it was a total failure", the girl sighed while trying to change topic. "When he kissed me and made to undress me, I hit him with a firebolt in the nethers. I had to erase his memory after that".
Steinarius frowned. He didn't know whether he should feel saddened or amused by that tale.
"You erased a mage's memory?", he asked while raising an eyebrow.
"It was for the better, Stein: I didn't want that mage to remember the way I'd rejected him; also, I don't think he wanted to keep the memory of my baffled face when he took off his pants".
To Agda's relief, Steinarius chuckled.
"Was he really that bad?"
Agda gave him a crossed look.
"You have no idea", she solemnly said.
Steinarius laughed, then he jokingly poked the Archmage in the ribs.
"You never looked baffled when I undid my breeches", he recalled with a playful smile.
For a second Steinarius feared Agda would tell him off for going too far. When the girl smiled, however, he realized that it was okay for him to joke about their past.
"That's because I didn't have to cast a Clarvoyance spell to find my way with you, Imperial", the mage replied with a smirk.
Steinarius giggled at Agda's remark.
"Flatterer", he joked. "So it's agreed: we'll spend the night in the same bed. Don't worry though: I have no plans of getting myself naked in a place full of Falmer".
As he spoke, Steinarius saw some hesitation in Agda's deep brown eyes; nonetheless, she agreed to spend the night with him. Smiling, the Dragonborn promised himself he'd do everything he could to make that lovely girl feel safe and protected during the following hours.
Sleeping with someone after all that time was rather weird for Agda. Steinarius took the side of the bed that was directly connected to the wall, so that the girl wouldn't risk feeling trapped throughout the night. As she watched the Imperial light a few candles and turn off all the other ones, the Archmage was overrun by a slight tingle of nervousness.
It's okay, she told herself. I'll just have to lay still and wait for tiredness to overcome me.
Unfortunately, Agda soon realized that it was easier than done.
Upon reaching their bed, Steinarius wearily sighed and slumped down in his side of the hard stone mattress. The man immediately regretted that choice.
"Stupid Dwemer", he complained when his sore back hurt as a consequence of that collision. "What's the point of being smart if you can't even create a comfortable bed?"
Agda chuckled at that remark, but she didn't turn to look at her partner. She was resting with her back to Steinarius and her face pointed towards the entrance of the room, where her defensive runes dimly shone in the partial darkness.
There was a moment of silence, during which the mage felt the Imperial writhe behind her until he found a comfortable position. Steinarius had the same delicacy of an overgrown mammoth.
"You comfortable?", the man asked after he eventually stopped moving.
When Agda nodded, Steinarius chuckled.
"Lucky you then".
The two companions laughed, then the room finally fell silent. Despite her tiredness, Agda didn't feel like falling asleep.
"Stein, how's your private life going?", she asked out of the blue. "I mean, have you met anyone special in the last few months?"
"Someone like that mage from the Synod of yours?", the Imperial jokingly replied. His voice was tired, but Agda realized that he was amused by her question. "No, actually not. I haven't been with anyone since Riverwood".
Agda was surprised by the news. That meant that, over the previous year and a half, Steinarius hadn't slept with anyone but her.
"I thought werewolves…"
"Werewolves do feel the urge to couple very often", Steinarius broke her off. "And when I was younger, I'd hit on everything that moved. Now, however, I make a rather careful selection before I sleep with someone. It isn't just a physical act for me – it's also a great proof of intimacy. I've been this way ever since Vigdis and Eidan came along".
That remark caused Agda to fall silent. She'd expected Steinarius to sleep with a new woman the very same moment after they broke up, but the Imperial actually hadn't been with anyone since then. That discovery made her quite unease - and so did the mention of the man's late son.
The silence in the room continued for a rather uncomfortable amount of time. When Steinarius spoke, Agda was actually startled: she thought the man to have already fallen asleep.
"You've just shuddered", the Imperial said after Agda shivered for the cold at least twice. "Do you want me to warm you?"
The young mage was silent for a few seconds. She remembered Labyrinthian, Riverwood, the way Steinarius' arms would embrace her at night when they were together. Yet, this was something completely different from then – she was the Archmage of Winterhold now, he was the savior of Skyrim; she was the most feared mage of the North now, he was the best warrior of the land; but most of all, by now her innocence had gone lost, completely and utterly lost.
"Don't worry, Stein", the young woman eventually replied. "I'm always cold. That's why people in Winterhold call me Agda the Cold".
When Steinarius didn't say anything, Agda realized that he hadn't believed her. Apparently, the man knew that her nickname derived from the coldness that seemed to radiate from her ever since she'd become the Archmage of the College. Right then the girl thought of the way she'd behaved with him over the previous three days - and as she did, she felt shame wash over her. Steinarius really was her best friend - and right then, Agda wished the man could become something more than a simple friend.
"We're not in Winterhold now", the Dragonborn eventually murmured, thus snapping the Archmage out of her thoughts. "And to me, you're simply Agds".
As he spoke, Steinarius gently wrapped his arms around his friend. He was careful not too touch her chest and to prevent Agda from feeling trapped in his embrace. When the mage didn't protest, the Imperial realized that part of her had probably been waiting for that hug ever since she'd first laid down that night.
"Better?"
Agda nodded. As soon as she replied, she felt Steinarius' breath on her neck, then she felt him tighten the grip around her. At that point, the girl slightly shifted until her back pressed against the man's chest. Taking the hint, Steinarius tucked her hair behind her ears and laid a playfully loud kiss on her cheek. When Agda whimpered, he immediately pulled away.
"Do my hugs make you uncomfortable?"
"Not really", the Archmage confessed, her face blushing as red as a tomato. "Just.. keep your noisy lips to yourself, alright?"
Steinarius chuckled, then he resumed caressing Agda's arms. When the girl closed her eyes, the Imperial made to pull his arms away from her in order not to disturb her sleep. Nonetheless, the mage was quick to grab him by the wrists.
"Don't", she softly said.
Steinarius smiled at that, then he propped himself on an elbow and laid a gentle kiss on her cheek. When Agda didn't complain, the man began caressing her hair with one hand, all while the other was still wrapped around her waist.
"Do you want me to sing you a lullaby?"
Agda turned towards him at that unexpected question.
"You can sing?"
"Always so skeptical", Steinarius chuckled while faking an irritated expression. "I am a man of many talents, Agda - and don't forget that one time in Winterhold I sang you a very special version of Ragnar the Red".
When Agda chuckled at the memory, Steinarius felt his heart swell with happiness. He was slowly getting her to trust him again, and to him that was the greatest victory of all.
"I perfectly remember that night in the inn", the mage pointed out with a smile. "I just didn't think you knew any lullaby. Sing away then".
Pleased by that request, Steinarius melodramatically cleared his throat, then hit the first note. As soon as he did, Agda felt as though she'd just been transported to another dimension: Blackreach, Ancano, her scars, her tiredness, everything vanished in the Imperial's deep voice, in the way he was softly singing for her, in the way his arms lulled her to the rhythm of his song, of his heart, of his breath. Steinarius was singing some old ballad about a child living on the shores of the Niben, but Agda couldn't even make out the words – right then she was so overcome with feelings that she found it hard to focus on anything but the tears that were threatening to leave her eyes.
As the song eventually ended, Agda let out a heavy sigh and wipe her eyes with her sleeves. The Archmage didn't know why she was feeling so sensitive - she only knew that, for the first time in six months, someone was lovingly taking care of her and showing that there were still some people who were worthy of her trust.
When Steinarius asked her what was wrong, the girl was quick to shake her hands.
"Nothing", she said despite the tears that made her eyes shiny. "I'm just… happy, I believe. Yes, that must be it: I'm happy for the first time since Ancano".
Confronted with Agda's tiny and embarrassed laughter, Steinarius smiled and kissed her gently on the cheek. Even if he didn't retrieve the Elder Scroll, to him that expedition in Blackreach was already a success.
Agda didn't know after how much time she woke up, but she immediately realized that it was probably very early. Yawning, the girl remembered the way she'd fallen asleep in Steinarius' arms, the way he'd lulled her, the way he'd gently kissed her cheek before she drifted into Vaermina's realm. Now she was the one who was awake, whereas the Imperial was softly snoring beside her.
Trying to be as careful as she could, Agda craned her neck to look at her companion. Being a werewolf, Steinarius was usually up and running long before her; as a consequence, until then she'd watched him sleep from up-close only a few couple of times.
Confronted with the Imperial's calm expression, Agda smiled. She'd been awoken by her usual belly cramps and, had it not been for those painful spasms, she would have slept for a much longer time.
When she tried to pull away from his arms, Steinarius whimpered. The girl heard him groan in his sleep, then she heard him mumble something that weirdly recalled her name. Moved by his tired expression, Agda stopped writhing and gently caressed his hair.
While he was sleeping, Steinarius looked even younger than he actually was; moreover, he seemed completely harmless. As she slowly ran her hand across his shaven cheeks, Agda realized that she'd missed him a lot over the previous months. Confronted with that thought, she felt even more sorry for the way she'd treated him over the previous few days.
Eventually, the cramps became too much for the Archmage to bear. Rolling her eyes in annoyance, Agda cast a spell to deepen Steinarius' slumber, then she slowly climbed out of bed. As soon as she grabbed a healing potion, however, the man's voice reached her.
"Agds?"
Steinarius' grey eyes seemed exhausted as they scorched the poorly-lit room in search of the mage. The man's hair were tousled, whereas his face showed the marks left by the pillows. Moreover, his usually singsong voice was nothing but a weary and throaty groan.
"I'm here", Agda was quick to calm the Imperial. "I just needed a potion".
When the girl returned to bed and uncorked the vial, Steinarius propped himself on an elbow.
"A healing potion? Are you okay?"
Gulping the vial, Agda nodded.
"Nothing to worry about", she smiled.
Even after the Nord laid down again, Steinarius' questions didn't stop. He asked her whether she'd eaten anything with a strange taste, whereas she'd drunk water from the river, he even enquired about the things Agda had done before leaving for Alftand. Eventually, the mage sighed.
"It's something I've been dealing with for quite a few years, Stein", she confessed. "And all the other women of Nirn deal with it too".
Agda immediately saw her friend's face become red in embarrassment. She therefore didn't expect him to offer her his help.
"I can rub your belly, if you want", Steinarius sheepishly said, thus causing Agda to frown.
"I beg your pardon?"
"You heard me: when Vigdis had this kind of problems, I would often stay in bed with her and give her a massage. She said it helped".
Agda was moved by the Imperial's worry.
"Look, Stein, I really thank you for your offer; yet, I don't believe…"
Steinarius was quick to break the young mage off.
"Come on, it won't do you any harm", he smiled. "Also, it should help you fall asleep again. We've only rested for less than two hours".
Fueled by the Dragonborn's puppy expression, Agda eventually gave in to his request. When Steinarius asked her to face him and laid his hand on her belly, however, she immediately regretted her decision.
"Look, Stein, I really…"
"Give it a chance, Agds", the Imperial reassured her. "It will work".
Agda stifled the urge to roll her eyes, then felt Steinarius' hand sneak under her robes.
"If you feel uncomfortable, tell me", the man suggested her.
Scoffing, Agda thought of lying to the Imperial as soon as his hand came in contact with her light undershirt. Yet, when he began rubbing gentle circles across her stomach, she realized that the feeling was actually pleasant.
When she distorted her gaze from Steinarius' arm, Agda noticed that the man was staring at her intently. His grey eyes were fixed on her face.
"You okay?"
To her own surprise, the woman nodded.
"Close your eyes and let me do the hard work", the Imperial recommended her. "You just need to relax".
A part of Agda's mind didn't feel at ease allowing a man that much control over her. Another part of her – the one that still believed in silly things like feelings -, however, eventually convinced her to trust Steinarius.
When she closed her eyes, Agda felt the Dragonborn shift towards her until they were only one inch away from each other. She could feel one of his hands on her stomach, then she felt his free arm move to caress her forehead. When she opened her eyes at that unexpected contact, the Archmage realized just how close she and her friend were.
"Relax", Steinarius whispered. He looked tired, but everything in his voice and his eyes and his smile was now sweet and calm and soothing. As a consequence, Agda soon buried her face in the crook of his neck, bit her lips when he stopped caressing her stomach and pulled her towards him, whimpered when he left a tender kiss on her forehead.
While inhaling the man' scent – that unmistakable scent that smelled of juniper and lavender and nightshade, of steel and leather and mead, of home and love and safety -, Agda sighed. She was finally tired of running from her past.
Steinarius didn't react when the Archmage pulled away from him: he simply stared as she positioned herself face to face with him, as she got closer to him, as she laid her hands on his chest and gently nuzzled his neck.
"You're so warm", the girl blushed when she noticed the confusion on Steinarius' face.
Confronted with Agda's need for tenderness and contact and with the embarrassed expression on her face, the Imperial chuckled and tightened his embrace. A moment later, the young mage moved so that her breath could ghost over his lips, so that her sweet scent could fill his nostrils, so that her eyelashes could flutter against his skin.
The two of them remained like that for what felt like a lifetime, both scared and eager to make the first move. Eventually, Agda gathered all her courage and finally surrendered to her feelings - and as soon as she did, the mage let out a sigh that reminded Steinarius of a silent prayer, then she pressed her lips against his. The Dragonborn remained still for a while, reveling in that light contact and in the way Agda's heart was drumming madly in his ears. Then, when the man pulled away and noticed the frail and terrified expression in her brown eyes, he cupped her face and kissed her again. This time the contact was much longer : Steinarius kissed Agda sweetly, properly, lovingly, all while his fingertips were gently caressing her cheeks. The man didn't want to touch her scars: right then, he only wanted to think of Agda, of her smile, of her love; there would be a time to face the ghosts of her past too, he was sure of that – right then, however, the Dragonborn only wanted the girl to feel all his love and his sweetness and his desire to keep her safe and happy and protected.
Steinarius kissed Agda with slow movements, he took the time to revel in her soft lips, he made sure not to become too possessive. Everything was different from their first night in Riverwood: this time there were no sloppy moments, there were no talks about the past, there were no eagerness to finish and no hunger to sate. There was only their love, a love that could take it as slow and sweet and easy as they wanted.
Eventually, when their endless kiss was over, Steinarius looked at Agda and smiled. The girl replied with a tiny smile, then sighed. While kissing her, the Imperial had allowed his hands to roam a bit too freely over her back - and the mage wanted him to understand her desire to take it slow.
"Stein, I don't know if I am ready to take off my clothes and…"
Surprised by that weird apology, the man immediately broke her off with a gesture.
"I don't want you to take off your clothes, Agds", he explained, his voice soft and soothing. "This moment is for us, and I want you 4to savor it fully, without fear or anxiety. After all you've been through, I think you deserve it".
When Steinarius stopped talking and kissed her again, Agda finally relaxed. She sagged in his strong and protective arms, she followed the slow and comfortable rhythm of his lips, she ran her hands across his scarred chest and his taut back. She sighed in content against his mouth, she whimpered between his kisses, she even forgot about her pain, past and present alike - and at last, when she laid her head on his heart and fell asleep under his grey placid eyes, the Archmage felt as she'd finally returned home after a long exile.
After weeks and weeks of sufferance, she was finally safe again.