Author's note:
Ladies and gentlemen, here I am with the usual update. I'm really excited about this chapter, even though I'm not entirely satisfied with the way it came out - in my mind, everything was much more lovely and precise...
Before introducing this new instalment, however, I want to thank all my faithful readers and followers and favoriters and reviewers.
I'm really glad Elspeth enjoyed the way Agda retrieved the Elder Scroll - it took me quite a while to come up with that idea! (*pats herself on the shoulders*)
As for KSausage's review, I usually do immersive playthroughs too - which is why I hate Blackreach with all my heart. For the Clairvoyance spell, I actually have a huge problem with it: my orientation skills are very bad both in game and in real life - and surprisingly enough, that spell makes things even worse for me, which is why I didn't mention it in the last chapter. By the way, thank you for pointing out that weak link in the story: one day I'll probably go back to the previous instalment and say something about Agda's relationship with that spell. I love your constructive remarks!
As for The Mikaelson Cupcake, worry not: Steinarius and Agda will make it out of this adventure too ;)
Last but not least, a huge thank you to Valtieri: I love your remarks and I envy your knowledge of the different fandoms! I'd never noticed the similarities between the names of Moria and Blackreach!
And now, on the next chapter!
15th of Mid Year, 4E 203
Groaning with the effort, Steinarius finally came to in a dark and unknown room. The Imperial could hear the soothing sound of a crackling fire and the nice scent of cleanliness and floral herbs; also, he could feel warmth radiating from the heavy furs that were currently covering his body.
So this is it, the Dragonborn thought with a frown. That's where Imperials go after they die. Honestly, I expected something much more dramatic.
His brow still furrowed, Steinarius tried to sit up. He was laying in a bed of some sorts and, from the feeling of the furs on his skin, he was probably naked; yet, he was determined to discover how that mysterious place actually looked like.
As soon as he used his hands to support his weight, however, the Dragonborn had a very bad surprise: a sudden jolt of pain namely shot through his body, thus causing him to fall back on the bed.
Things are not like they are supposed to be, Steinarius thought while hissing in discomfort. All of a sudden, the man wasn't so sure of his whereabouts anymore. If I'm dead, why am I still feeling pain? And if I'm dead and I've actually ended up in the Imperial Paradise of legends, why am I smelling cabbages and carrots? I hate cabbages and carrots!
Fighting his confusion, Steinarius tried to analyze his situation once again. If he could still feel pain and smell cabbages and other foul things, he probably wasn't dead - and if he wasn't dead, he was probably still trapped somewhere in Blackreach.
That's impossible, the man thought with a snort. When Agda abandoned me, I was about to die. Not even that woman could be crazy enough to risk her life to come bak and save me. Naaah, I'm probably dead and I've ended up in some weird place dedicated to Imperials who hate cabbages and carrots. Maybe the fight for my soul eventually ended with Sheogorath's victory: at least, that would explain the cabbages...
As he was still lost in those thoughts, Steinarius noticed a faint heartbeat coming from a place to his right. Grunting in effort, the man turned his head to the source of the noise - and as he did, he found an answer to all his questions. He wasn't dead - and he wasn't in Blackreach either. Apparently, Agda had managed to get him out of troubles and bring him to a safe location - had that not been the case, the mage wouldn't be sleeping like a log on the top of what looked like a very uncomfortable drawer.
As he carefully observed her, Steinarius noticed Agda's messy hair and her pale face; on top of that, the man realized that his woman was whimpering in her sleep, almost as though she was having a nightmare. The mage was wearing a farmer dress that looked a bit too tight for her and was using an old knapsack as a pillow. When her uncomfortable whimpers got even louder, Steinarius decided that he was time he woke her.
"Agds", he whispered with the firmest and loudest voice he could find. "Agds, wake up! It's just a nightmare, sweetheart".
The woman tossed and turned on her makeshift bed for a couple of minutes, during which Steinarius kept on whispering her name. Eventually, Agda awoke with a little cry and immediately sat up on the drawer. She looked pale and worried and Steinarius felt the need to get up and gather her in his arms - unfortunately, he was too sore even to raise his voice.
There was a moment of silence during which the young mage covered her face with her hands, almost as though she wanted to make the demons from her nightmares disappear from her sight. A few seconds later, she raised her head and finally saw Steinarius. Her brown eyes immediately found his grey ones - and as they did, the woman abruptly got up from her shelter and approached her man. Steinarius noticed that she was about to burst into a joyful cry.
"You're alive!", the girl squealed, relief and surprise evident in her trembling voice.
Steinarius nodded, then he did his best to smile.
"I am as surprised as you are, honey", he joked.
Agda didn't seem to share his amusement: she raised her eyes to the ceiling and murmured a prayer to the Divines, then she buried her face in her hands. When she began sobbing, Steinarius realized that his life had probably been on the line for a very long time.
"Agds, honey, it's okay", he said while laying a gentle hand on his lover's thigh. The woman was sitting on his bed and Steinarius was glad he could take advantage of that fact to caress her and comfort her. "I'm here now. I'm awake and I'm sure that in few days time I'll be back to my usual shape. There's no need to cry".
The woman didn't reply for what felt like a lifetime; eventually, however, she shook her head and wiped her face with the sleeve of her dress.
"I know", she said, her voice still full of relief. "It's just... after escaping Blackreach, I thought you wouldn't make it. You were unconscious for two weeks and not even Danica believed she could save you. I... I didn't want you to die, Stein, not because of me!"
Steinarius frowned as he heard those words. By now how he perfectly remembered getting hurt while defending Agda, just like he remembered begging the girl to leave him to die in Blackreach in order to save her own life. No wonder her lover looked so upset.
"Agds, I'm alright", he whispered, his voice sweet and soothing. "I may feel a bit dizzy and confused, sure, but I'm alright - and I'd feel even better if you stopped crying and explained me what happened after I passed out in Blackreach. Where are we now? And who is Danica? And why are we staying in this wooden house that smells of cabbage, carrots and other damned vegetables?"
Agda chuckled at that last question, a shy tiny chuckle that made Steinarius smile - at least his girl was listening to him.
Slowly but carefully, Agda started recounting all the events that had led the two of them to Loreius' farm. She told Steinarius about the Elder Scrolls, about the two farmers who had so generously saved their lives, about Danica Pure-Spring's efforts to cure him despite his severe injuries.
"You were unconscious for ten days", the woman sighed at the end of her long tale. "We didn't move you to the Temple of Kynareth because we feared you wouldn't survive the journey; actually, we didn't think you would survive at all".
As she said those words, Agda started crying again. Steinarius was amazed by the way she had saved his life and retrieved an Elder Scroll at the same time; but most of all, he was incredibly overrun by the tenderness he felt for that young mage. Agda could be tough and stubborn, but deep down she was still the sweet and gentle innkeeper Steinarius had learned to love during their time in Riverwood.
"It's okay, Agds", he whispered again, his hand gently reaching her elbow in order to soothe her. "Come here, sweetheart: let me hug you".
Agda shook her head and for a moment Steinarius cursed his broken collaborne and the pain he felt every time he tried to move the right side of his body. Yet, when his healthy hand began tugging more heavily on the sleeve of Agda's dress, the girl forgot her man's injuries and finally laid down next to him. Steinarius was quick to cover her with one of his furs and to drape a reassuring arm around her waist.
"I'm alright", he repeated again.
Agda faintly nodded, then she buried her face in the crook between his healthy shoulder and his neck. As soon as she did that, Steinarius felt a bolt of pain through his body, but didn't betray his discomfort: in that moment, he only wanted to feel Agda's welcomed weight on his chest, her sweet scent in his nostrils and the soft tickle of her curls on his cheeks - and if he needed to bear a little pain to experience those feelings, so be it.
There was a brief moment of comfortable silence during which Steinarius reveled in the feeling of Agda' soft and feminine body curled up against his tired and battered one. The woman was gently tracing the line of his breastbone and Steinarius couldn't fight the urge to take her hand into his own and squeeze it with affection.
I love this girl, he thought as he noticed the way Agda blushed under his slow ministrations. Agda of Anvil, I love you more than everything else in the world.
Although he knew that these words were true, Steinarius decided not to utter them. He wanted them to be special and he wanted them to be said in another moment - a moment when Agda wasn't crying and when he was free to hug her with both arms and shower her body in sweet, adoring kisses.
Oblivious of her man's thoughts, Agda soon closed her eyes and curled up against him. Once in a while Steinarius could still hear her sob, a fact that sent bolts of guilt through his heart. He hated to see Agda crying - and he hated it even more when he was to blame for her sufferance.
As the girl' sobs slowly came to a halt, Steinarius carefully studied her face. Agda was pale and the scars on her face were made more evident by her tired eyes and by her unusual thinness.
We were in Blackreach for more than two weeks after I passed out, Steinarius thought as he noticed that - and right then his respect for that tiny woman grew even more.
"You have a bad cut on your forehead", he whispered when he noticed the red gash on Agda's tired face. "Danica didn't cure it".
"Stein, Danica and I were too busy curing you", Agda sweetly replied. "We had to knit your bones and tissues and blood vessels back together, then we had to feed you poisons against bloodloss and poison and infections. Luckily enough, Danica is the best healer I've ever met: without her, you wouldn't be doing so well".
Steinarius frowned. Danica had always been the favourite healer of the Companions, but he didn't think she was the best Restoration mage of the country.
"You're much better than Danica", he told Agda. "Also, you're much younger and prettier".
As he said that, Steinarius couldn't prevent his eyes from roaming over Agda's chest. Now that she was laying down beside him, her tight farmer dress allowed him a very good view of her cleavage.
"Don't get used to it", the mage jokingly said while understanding the source of Steinarius' pleased expression and covering her chest at the same time. "Loreius' wife is much thinner than me, so the dresses she lent me are a bit too tight. As soon as we get out of here, however, I'll go back to my beloved baggy mage robes".
Steinarius chuckled at that, a fact that caused a violent spasm to rip through his body.
"You're doing surprisingly fine because you gulped an incredible amount of potions a few hours ago", his woman explained him. "Yet, you shouldn't forget that you're still recovering from a nasty injury".
Steinarius nodded, then he decided to stay still as long as he could. The red cut on Agda's forehead, however, made it impossible for him to keep the promise he had just made to himself.
"Agds, would you please catch me some bandages and a healing potion?"
Surprised by the question, the girl propped herself on an elbow.
"Why do you need a potion? Are you..."
"It's not for me", Steinarius kindly broke her off. "It's for you. I want to help you with that gash".
Moved by her man's worry for that tiny cut, Agda burst into a little laughter.
"Stein, it's not a big deal! And then there's no need for bandages or else: it takes just one healing spell to cure a small gash like mine", she said while using her Restoration skills to make the little cut on her forehead disappear. Surprised by that quick procedure, Steinarius frowned.
"I didn't think it would take you so little", he mumbled. "I just wanted to do something nice for you. You've been curing me for more than two weeks and I thought..."
Agda chuckled again, then she broke Steinarius off by placing her pointing fingers on his lips.
"Hush", she whispered. "There's no need for you to act as a healer, Stein. I already know that I'm with the nicest warrior of the world - and luckily enough, he's also the sweetest man I've ever known. There's no need to overdo it, love".
Agda ended that sentence by kissing Steinarius' lips softly, gently, with all the tenderness she could muster. Defeated, the man closed his eyes and sighed.
"You do know how to make me shut up", he dramatically said.
Agda laughed, a loud and happy laughter that brought about an explosion of happiness in Steinarius' heart - and when the woman laid by his side and fell asleep in his arms, the Imperial felt the desire to propose to her and spend the rest of his life with that little mage.
The Dragonborn had no doubts: he wanted to marry Agda and build a family with her - and to do that, he wanted her to find out about the most hidden parts of his past.
Whiterun was as crowded and busy as always. Agda felt a bit intimated when she reached the main entrance of the city and she felt even more intimated when one of the guards asked her who she was and what she was doing there. Before the mage could speak, however, Steinarius intervened.
"She's with me", he said, his voice firm and strong. "And I'd be very glad if you spoke to her with more kindness. I'm your Thane and she's my companion".
There was a moment of astonished silence as the guard - a bearded old man with an aura of self-importance around him - opened his mouth in a wide "oh". Agda could perfectly understand his surprise: Steinarius was wearing farmer clothes and a hood that covered most of his face; she, on the other hand, was wearing what little was left of her mage robes and was carrying a little basket full of alchemy ingredients. No wonder the guard had mistaken them for strangers.
Before the sentinel could recover from his surprise, Steinarius reached for Agda's elbow and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"Let's go", he told her. "Lydia is getting the house ready for us".
Agda frowned at the mention of Lydia. She'd met that beautiful woman on the previous night, when Steinarius had summoned her at Loreius' farm.
Agda and I will be staying in Blackreach while I recover from the injury, he'd told his huskarl. I want you to het Breezehome ready for us.
Agda had been surprised by the way Steinarius had given orders to that beautiful warrior - and she'd been even more surprised when she'd noticed the annoyance in Lydia's eyes.
"Are you sure Lydia has obeyed you?", she asked when Steinarius mentioned his huskarl. "She didn't seem happy to see you".
Much to her surprise, the man chuckled.
"Agds, Lydia is 'sworn to carry my burden', as she herself loves repeating. I once felt guilty for neglecting her, but I understood the truth after I first asked her to come with me on a quest: that girl would make a wonderful cook and an even better sentinel, but she's not good at fighting against bandits or bears or undead. She doesn't like me because she thinks I underestimate her, but I never ask her to come with me just because I want to keep her safe. My other huskarls are much better warriors, therefore I don't have troubles bringing them along during my quests".
The last sentence caused Agda to frown.
"How many huskarls have you got, exactly?"
Under his hood and his blonde scrubble, Steinarius' cheeks slightly flushed red.
"Three, if my memory doesn't fail me. There's Lydia, then there's Argis... and there's also Jordis, although technically she's my father's housecarl. She was assigned to him after our former housecarl retired".
Agda was shocked by the discovery. Only then did she realize that she didn't really know how wealthy her partner was.
"If you have three huskarls, how many houses have you got?"
Confronted with that new question, Steinarius' cheeks became even redder. The man hated talking about his titles.
"Proudspire Manor belongs to dad, whereas Vlindrel Hall was given to me by the Jarl of Markarth. Severin Manor instead was a gift from the ruler of Raven Rock. Actually, there's only one house I bought with my own money long before becoming the Dragonborn - and that's Breezehome. I purchased it after I discovered I was about to become a dad".
Those words were like a cold shower to Agda: all of a sudden, they namely reminded her of Steinarius' past life with Vigdis. The man seemed to notice her distress and draped his healthy arm around her waist. His other limb, the one whose collarbone was broken, was neatly wrapped in a bandage that prevented Steinarius from moving it.
"Agds, you're all my life now", the man gently told his lover. "Here in Whiterun, however, there are many things that belong to my past. If you want to leave soon, tell me and I'll book a carriage immediately; yet, I would be very glad to take this chance to introduce you to some of my old friends and to present you some parts of my life that you still don't know".
Frowning, Agda looked Steinarius in the eyes. She would have liked to travel to Winterhold right after leaving Loreius' farm, but the man had insisted on spending a few days in Whiterun before heading to the Throat of the World. As she noticed the worry in his grey irises, the young mage understood that her companion really cared about spending a couple of days in his old town together with her - and as soon as she realized it, all her worries disappeared.
"It's okay, Stein", she kindly said. "We'll spend a few days in Whiterun, then we'll leave for the Throat of the World. After all, I think Tolfdir can run the College until my return".
Satisfied by Agda's words, Steinarius' face was brightened by a huge smile.
"Come", he said while grabbing Agda by the elbow. "I want to show you my favorite place in the city".
The marketplace of Whiterun was as busy as usual. Agda had visited with Delphine on a couple of occasions, but she'd never really had the time to observe the goods displayed by all the different merchants. Now, however, she could remain there as long as she wanted. Next to her, Steinarius seemed equally interested in the products they were observing - and when he disappeared for a moment, Agda thought he had gone to analyze the weapons displayed outside Belethor's shop. As a consequence, when the man returned with a plate full of sweets and a mischievous smile on his lips, Agda couldn't hide her surprise.
"Apple pie, roasted nuts, boiled cream and sweet rolls", the Dragonborn proudly said while presenting his gifts to Agda. "Hulda is the best cook in the whole town - and since you are the sweetest woman I know, I wanted you to taste some of her creations".
Agda laughed at Steinarius' enthusiasm and she laughed even more when he eagerly devoured a sweet roll only to find his blonde scrubble completely covered in sugar.
"This reminds me why I always shave", the man complained when Agda burst into another laughter. "The next time I venture into Blackreach or some other foul places, I'll take a razor with me".
Agda was still chuckling when she and her man got to a little stall where an old woman had displayed many different jewels. The girl immediately noticed their high quality and soon fell in love with a little silver necklace in the shape of a star.
"I'd never seen anything like that", she said, admiration well evident in her voice. "Necklaces usually have the boring, round shape".
Spurred by that comment, the old merchant began telling Agda about the jewels produced by her husband, the best blacksmith of Skyrim.
Steinarius didn't like Frida, and he didn't really get on with Eorlund either; yet, when he noticed the loving look in Agda's eyes, he was quick to ask the old woman how much the necklace cost. When the merchant answered with a very high price, Agda deadpanned; Steinarius, instead, simply gathered his money and offered them to Frida.
"Stein, no!", the mage said as soon as she understood what her man was about to do. "It's a beautiful necklace, sure, but it's too expensive! And then, it's just a jewel! We'd better waste money on..."
"Agds, I'm not wasting money", Steinarius said with a low chuckle. "I'm happily buying an expensive necklace because I want to give it to you. I'm allowed to buy you some gifts, aren't I?"
Surprised by that reply, Agda stuttered.
"Of course you are allowed to buy me gifts, but..."
"No buts, honey: this is my money and I'm using it to buy something for you. I don't see anything wrong in it".
As Frida accepted the payment and wrapped the necklace in a delicate envelopment, Agda blushed and looked at Steinarius in order to find traces of annoyance on his face. In that moment she noticed the way his grey eyes were fixed on Frida, she noticed the blonde scrubble he had grown in Blackreach, she noticed his singsong accent and his calm voice; a moment later, when he turned towards her and smiled, Agda also noticed the sugar that was still trapped on his chin and on his cheeks - and as she did, she understood that she had found the perfect man for her.
Breezehome was a cozy wooden house in the middle of the city. Agda knew how clumsy and messy Steinarius could be, therefore she didn't expect his home to look so neat and clean.
"Lydia does a goob job with it", Steinarius shrugged when confronted with that remark. "And then, I'm not here often. Actually, I can't remember the last time I spent the night here. That's why yesterday evening I asked Lydia to come at Loreius' farm: I wanted her to prepare everything for our arrival".
As he spoke, Steinarius pushed open the door to his house. He was nervous: ever since Vigdis had left him, that was the first time he welcomed someone into his house - and that someone was the very same person who was about to replace his former companion. Hopefully Agda wouldn't abandon him like Vigdis had done in the past.
The young mage was very surprised as she entered her man's house. She knew that, to Steinarius, that moment was very important - after all, that was the house where he and Vigdis had lived for a very long time; if he had decided to lead Agda there, it meant that he wanted to disclose his whole past to her in the hope she could be her one and only partner for the future, near and distant alike.
"Come in", Steinarius said when he noticed the hesitation on Agda's face. "Lydia did a wonderful job here".
Spurred by that invitation, Agda slowly walked inside the house. She immediately noticed the two chairs standing by a crackling fire - and as she did, in her mind she pictured her and Steinarius sitting there on a cold winter night, a cup of cocoa in their hands and a blanket on their knees; she imagined talking to her man about futile things such as the need to buy new shoes or Belethor's latest goods, then she imagined she and Steinarius reading side by side in the calmness of that beautiful room.
This is what the future could have in store for us, Agda thought - and as she did, she realized that she desperately wanted that future for herself and the man she loved.
By her side, Steinarius was probably lost in similar thoughts. There was a lingering sadness in his eyes now, as he thought of all the times he had held Vigdis in his arms in front of that fireplace, all while trying to read her a book and give her some relief from the bolts of pain that were running through her body ever since she'd been attacked by Arnbjorn.
"I didn't know you had so many books!"
Luckily enough, Agda's remark quickly snapped Steinarius out of his thoughts. The woman had noticed the little bookshelf he himself had built right after buying that house. Spurred by curiosity, the mage analyzed some of their titles. She knew that Steinarius was fond of reading, but she'd never expected him to have a small selection of books in his own house. A moment later, Agda's attention was drawn by the huge table at the end of the room.
"I often invited friends over when I lived here", Steinarius explained her. "Actually, I think that one of those evenings I could ask Adrianne and her husband to pay us a visit".
Although she didn't know who Adrianne was, Agda nodded. For a brief moment she pictured Steinarius and Vigdis sitting at that table together with a lot of Companions - then, however, she quickly washed that image away.
This is about me and Steinarius, the mage obstinately told herself. Not Steinarius and Vigdis.
Despite those thoughts, Agda soon realized that Vigdis' ghost was meant to haunt her for the rest of the day.
"What is this room?", she asked when she noticed a little door to her left.
"That is the place where Lydia sleeps", Steinarius promptly replied. "It used to be Vigdis' alchemy laboratory".
Agda was so shocked that she felt her jaw drop to the floor.
"You had an alchemy lab in your house? For Vigdis?!"
Slightly scared by that reaction, Steinarius nodded.
"I told you she was a good alchemist".
Blinking, Agda tried to picture Steinarius' companion brewing a complicated potion. Not only was that woman beautiful - she was clever too.
All of a sudden, Agda felt as though her man had chosen her as his lover just because he wanted to replace Vigdis with a similar woman.
Don't be silly, a voice from the back of her mind luckily whispered. Had Steinarius wanted a copycat of Vigdis, he would have gone for a warrior, not for a mage.
For a moment, that voice managed to calm Agda. When she reached the second floor of the small house, however, the girl felt on the verge of a nervous breakdown. There was a small hall in that place, which led to a huge room with a very big bed. It didn't take a genius to realize that that was the place where Vigdis and Steinarius used to sleep.
"This is...", Agda said while blushing as red as a tomato. Even while she was speaking, she couldn't help but picture Steinarius and Vigdis naked, smiling at each other and exchanging words of love and trust and fidelty in that huge room.
"Agds, I didn't burn the bed after Vigdis left me", Steinarius muttered. Right then the Imperial looked even more embarrassed than the young mage. "I did change the mattress and the blankets, though".
Slightly relieved, Agda took a step inside the room. There was a good smell of juniper and lavender and the girl immediately realized that it was the same scent she felt every time she kissed Steinarius; also, inside the room there were a few drawers and a couple of crossed swords right over the bedpost.
"Shit", Steinarius hissed as he saw the weapons. "I'd told Lydia to take those swords away... I wanted her to replace them with magical staves or something similar", he added with a guilty expression on his face.
Frowning, Agda took a step towards the offending objects. It didn't take her much to realize that she was looking at the weapons Steinarius and Vigdis used to wield in battle.
"A dwarven sword", the mage said while looking at the longer of the two swords. "You had a similar one when we first met in Riverwood".
When Steinarius nodded without saying anything, Agda understood that on that occasion he had wielded Vigdis' weapon.
"I... I thought you had forgotten her", the mage said, her voice weak and fleeble. "I thought you only cared about me now. Instead, you still wield her weapon and..."
"Agds, I was a different man when we met", Steinarius quickly broke the mage off, his voice thick with a mixture of pain and regret. "I swear I havent touched that sword in a lifetime. I have got over Vigdis, Agds, believe me when I say I have: now I hate that woman and I hate the way she always seems to ruin everything good I find in my life. Damn, I wish I would have had enough sense to take you to an inn rather than in this wrecked place. I should have known that we would have ended up talking about my past once again!"
Surprised by the man's tone, Agda turned to look at him. Steinarius was standing on the threshold, his eyes fixed on the floor and his hands clenched in fists. He was shaking and the mage suddenly realized that she was being an idiot about that whole visit to his house. Steinarius was really trying to move on, Agda thought - and it was unfair of her to criticize him because of an old weapon.
"It's okay", the mage said while going back towalking towards the Imperial. "I'm sorry Stein: I didn't mean to..."
"I'm sorry too", Steinarius replied with a heartbreaking sigh. "Believe me, I'm sorry I snapped - and I'm even more sorry for bringing you here. I just..."
When the man trailed off, Agda shushed him and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. He was much taller than her, so the mage had to lay her hands on his chest for support. When Steinarius replied with a groan and deepened the kiss, Agda felt that her jealousy had been completely unfounded: Steinarius might have been in love with Vigdis, but now he was hers, completely and only hers - and that was something an old and rusty sword clearly couldn't change.
Steinarius felt incredibly relieved when he and Agda finally made their way back to the entrance fo Breezehome. The girl had immediately realized that he was telling her the truth about Vigdis, but her jealousy had somehow managed to hurt him because it meant that, after all that time, Agda still didn't trust him.
Unfortunately, Steinarius realized that he had rejoiced too early: while walking to the ladder that connected the two floors of his house, Agda namely noticed a little chamber on the right.
"What is that room?", she asked - and as she did, Steinarius felt a lump in his throat. He couldn't remember the last time he had taken a peek inside that little room - yet, when he looked Agda in the eyes, he understood that it was high time he faced that part of his past too.
Now or never, the Imperial thought - and as he did, he took a big breathe and approached the door to the chamber.
"This... This was Eidan's room", he said.
A moment later, with another sigh, Steinarius pushed open the door that for all those years had defended him from the darkest memories of his life.
When she heard Eidan's name, Agda felt her heart skip a beat and immediately regretted her question.
She expected Steinarius to dismiss her curiosity and keep on walking towards the exit of the house, so she was almost shocked when the man sighed and opened the door to his late son's chamber. Agda thought about keeping still and saying that she didn't want to visit that place, but in the end curiosity had the upper hand - and as soon as it did, Agda walked inside the small room and let out a surprised squeal: Eidan's former chamber was the most beautiful place she'd ever seen.
Everything in the small room had probably been untouched for months, maybe for years. There were a few shelves full of stuffed toys depicting horses and cats and dogs, whereas on a beautifully engraved ancient drawer stood many little wooden animals; in one corner of the room there was a little cabin full of children books, whereas on the opposite side of the chamber there was a tiny bed covered by colourful woolen blankets that sported the coat of arms of the different cities of Skyrim. The curtains had been painted in bright colours that portrayed birds and other little animals, whereas on the floor there were a few wooden swords and shields. But what attracted Agda's attention more than everything else was the huge painting in front of her eyes. The girl had never seen anything like that: the painting occupied the whole wall and had never been completed. The main colours were green and red and blue and the figures had probably been drawn by a beginner, as they were seemingly blurred and the proportions weren't perfect; yet, that painting was the cutest thing Agda had ever observed in her life.
There was a cute green dragon in one corner, whereas on the other side of the wall there was a little boy with blonde hair and black eyes. The painting showed the story of the friendship between the dragon and the boy from their childhood to their adulthood - and in the end, it showed their fight against a lot of horrible little goblins coming out of a cave. The goblins had not been completed, but Agda could nonetheless notice that their features weren't as scary as real goblins actually were - apparently, the painter had tried to adapt that scene to the chamber of an infant.
Still attracted to that painting, Agda walked towards it and laid a hand on the cute little dragon. A moment later, she finally found the strength to look towards Steinarius.
"Vigdis..."
Without saying anything, the man shook his head. His face was in the shadow, therefore Agda couldn't read his expression.
"A friend of yours..."
Once again, Steinarius shook his head.
Agda made a lot of other attempts at guessing the author of the painting. Eventually, truth dawned over her and caused her heart to skip a bit.
"You did this", she whispered, surprise and sadness evident in her voice.
"I've never been good at painting, but a professional painter was too expensive", the Imperial nodded. "Back then I didn't own four houses, so I decided to paint Eidan's room myself. Somehow, I came up with the story of a little dragon and his human friend - and I decided to paint it on the wall. Vigdis said it was horrible, but I think that deep down she quite liked it".
"It's adorable", Agda said, tenderness well evident in her voice.
Chuckling bitterly, Steinarius approached her.
"It was high time someone admitted it", he smiled. "Actually, Eidan was adorable too. He was..."
When Steinarius trailed off, Agda turned to look at him. There were tears in his eyes and the girl couldn't help but caress his cheeks.
"Stein..."
"It's okay", the man said. He seemed embarassed by his sudden weakness and couldn't find the strength to look Agda in the eyes. Then, however, Steinarius let his feelings free to speak.
"When I decided to bring you here, I didn't want you to feel guilty because I still think of Vigdis - and I certainly didn't want you to get mad at me because of the sword in my bedroom", he told Agda, his eyes still fixed on the floor. "I just... I just wanted you to know more about me and about who I am.
"Ever since you've met me, Agds, I've always been busy fighting dragons and rebels and other creatures; yet, I wanted you to know that there is another, better side of me - the side that built the bookshelf in the living room, that side that loves sweet rolls more than weapons, the side that painted this wall for my late son. I wanted you to know it because I love you, Agds, and sometimes I feel like I don't deserve such a special woman. Hopefully, now that you've seen the best side of me, I won't feel so guilty every time I think of how lucky I was to find you".
There was a moment of silence during which Steinarius stopped speaking and hastily rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands.
When he finally found the courage to look at Agda, the Imperial realized that the girl was already staring at him. He made to say something, but the mage immediately shushed him - and a moment later, she caressed his cheeks and laid a long kiss on his lips.
"I love you too, Stein", Agda whispered after finally pulling away from her man. "I love you, and I can't wait for you to slay Alduin so that we can spend the rest of our lives together".
Steinarius chuckled at that confession, then he leant towards Agda and kissed her again.
For the first time since Vigdis left him, he finally felt happy inside the walls of Breezehome.