AN:
My dear readers, here I am with the usual update.nAs usual, I thank all those who have read the previous instalment.
The special thank you of the fortnight goes to The Mikaelson Cupcake, Elspeth and Guest for their very kind words: I got very emotional while writing the final part of chapter 63 and I was glad to know that my readers felt in a similar way too. Also, your compliments made me blush in delight. Thank you again to all of you, you really are the best!
On to the current update, I must say that this chapter turned out a bit darker and longer than I'd planned; it is rather fluffy, but I think it is very important for the future development of the story. Also, hopefully it isn't as disappointing as I fear it to be.
Enjoy and let me know what you think!
30th of Mid Year, 4E 203
As Agda approached the house of her neighbours, she couldn't help but feel nervous. The mage was carrying a freshly baked apple-pie and kept on analyzing it with critical eye.
"Agds, the pie is perfect", Steinarius chuckled beside her. "And you are perfect too", he added with a tender smile.
Despite her man's compliments, Agda couldn't diminish her anxiety. Adrianne Avenicci had returned to Whiterun after a long visit to her husband's relatives - and the first thing she'd done after crossing the gate to the city was inviting Steinarius and Agda to her house for dinner.
I can't wait to meet your lucky one, the blacksmith had joked with Steinarius that morning. Also, I can't wait for you to meet my son.
Agda hadn't been present at that encounter between Steinarius and Adrianne; yet, the mention of that beautiful and talented blacksmith had been enough to make her nervous. After all, the Imperial was one of the closest people to Steinarius - and Agda obviously wanted to make a good impression on her.
"What if your friend doesn't like me?", the mage asked, fear well evident in her voice. "I'm only bringing her this crappy pie, all while she probably spent the afternoon cooking for us. And I didn't even buy any gift for her son! Apropos, why didn't you tell me about him? I could have asked somene to knit a tiny scarf or..."
Confronted with the girl's panicked tone, Steinarius chuckled again. Adrianne was his closest friend and he knew that Agda had nothing to worry about; yet, the young mage seemed unable to relax. As he realized that, Steinarius draped his arm around her waist and pulled her in for a kiss. Agda made to protest, but she fell silent as soon as the Dragonborn kissed her again, this time with much more passion and desire. The two of them were in the middle of the main street of Whiterun, but Steinarius couldn't care less: he was madly in love with Agda and he wanted the whole city to know it.
With a soft whimper, the mage finally broke the contact with her man and blushed. The previous fortnight had been the best one of her life - and despite her nervousness, Agda felt her heart swell with joy every time she thought about Stein's enthusiasm for her upcoming meeting with Adrianne.
The Dragonborn had explained her how much he cared for that beautiful blacksmith - and for the young mage, the fact that he wanted Adrianne to know her was a great sign of trust.
As she finally gathered her courage and walked to the front door of the Warmaiden's, Agda thought of the time she'd spent in Whiterun until then. At first, living in Stein and Vigdis' old town hadn't been easy. There were a lot of little things that constantly reminded Agda that she was a newcomer there - some dusty women clothes she found in a drawer, the few old swords by the door of Breezehome, the questions many curious women asked Steinarius every time the two of them went for a walk... At first Agda felt as an intruder in Whiterun - an intruder who was happy just because Vigdis had ben severely injured by a man she considered her friend. Had Arnbjorn not attacked that poor woman and caused the death of her son...
Luckily enough, Steinarius seemed to have a special sense that allowed him to notice the moments when Agda was pondering on those sad circumstances. Every time the young mage got broody and melancholic, the Imperial was quick to walk up to her, tell her how much he loved her and plant a long and sweet kiss on her lips.
I should be the one to feel bad for losing Vigdis, he told her one day, while they were taking a walk across the beautiful planes of Whiterun. But thanks to you, I've got over her escape and I'm now recollecting the pieces of my life. You saved me from an eternity of regrets, Agds, and you shouldn't let the ghost of another woman ruin our happiness.
Agda had been incredibly relieved by those words - and she'd been even more relieved when she'd noticed Steinarius' attempts at making her happy. The man often bought her presents, cooked her breakfast, covered her in kisses and caresses; also, he had helped her fall into a cozy and comfortable routine. Life in Whiterun was fun, easy and interesting and the mage was ready to give up her job in Winterhold in order to spend the rest of her existence in that wonderful place.
As she thought about her desire to build a quiet life with the man she loved, Agda gave Steinarius an affectionate look. The man had decided to keep the blonde scrubble he had grown in Blackreach, but Agda wasn't sure about that change. On the one side, the beard made Steinarius look manlier and more mature; on the other one, however, it gave him a rather wild appearance. Nonetheless, that night the Imperial was particularly handsome: his white shirt and dark pants underlined his muscles, whereas his eyes shone with a very peculiar light. Agda had never seen him so relaxed and couldn't help but wish that their happiness would continue after the final battle with Alduin. Steinarius was meant to leave for the Throat of the World soon - and Agda felt a tingle of nervousness every time she thought about that. Nonetheless, she was confident her man had the means to defeat Alduin and save the whole world from destruction.
"Here we are", Steinarius suddenly said, thus snapping Agda out of her thoughts. "Adrianne's house. Remember, Agda: there is nothing for you to feel nervous about: you are clever and sweet and kind and polite and I'm sure Adrianne will immediately fall in love with you. Also, tonight you are simply stunning".
When the Imperial gave her a loving smile, Agda blushed. That night she had let her hair down and had put on a beautiful silver dress and the star-shaped necklace Steinarius had bought her a few days earlier. With her scars carefully hidden and some war paint under her eyes to underline their shape, the mage felt beautiful for the first time in months.
When Steinarius finally knocked on the door to her house, Adrianne Avenicci was quick to open. Agda was surprised by the beauty of that young blacksmith: Adrianne had long curly hair, wonderful bright eyes, a lovely tan and an amazing smile. Also, she looked gorgeous despite the simple white dress she was wearing.
"Stein, it's been so long!", the woman cried upon seeing her best friend. A moment later, Adrianne turned her attention to Agda and greeted her with a warm smile. "And this must be Agda. Welcome to my house, dear: it's a honor to finally make your acquaintance!"
Before inviting Agda and Steinarius inside, Adrianne hugged both of them and thanked them for the gifts they had brought her. A moment later, she led them towards her little and cozy dining room. Her husband, Wulfberth, was waiting for their hosts there.
"The lil' one is asleep upstairs", that gruff-looking Nord smiled when Steinarius asked about his newborn son. "And as long as he's asleep, we don't want to wake him. You know how loud babies can be".
Agda frowned when she heard those words, whereas Steinarius welcomed them with a smile. A moment later, the two of them sat down and started eating the tasty dishes Adrianne and Wulfberth had prepared for the occasion.
Dinner was surprisingly pleasant: Agda was surprised by Wulfberth and Adrianne's warmth, by their kindness, by the love she could clearly read on their faces. Soon enough, the mage felt as though she'd always been friends with them - and when she noticed how happy and calm and relaxed Steinarius looked, she pictured a future when Alduin was defeated and she and her man could dine with his friends whenever they wanted.
Later that night, Wulfberth and Steinarius decided to clear the table and do the washing-up. Finally alone without their men, Adrianne streteched her spine and gave Agda a friendly smile.
"I was very curious to meet you, Agda", the blacksmith admitted. "Ever since Steinarius asked me for advice more than one year ago, I was left wondering about the innkeeper who had managed to catch his attention - and now that I've finally met you, I can see that you're the perfect woman for him. You are sweet and calm and soothing and I think you are very good at protecting him, at making him feel loved, at supporting him in his difficult task of saving the world. Stein was a broken man after Vigdis left him and I'm glad to see that he's found his enthusiasm and happiness again. I hadn't seen him smile so much in a lifetime, Agda, and all thanks to you. You really are a wonderful couple and I'm sure that one day you'll build an amazing family".
When Adrianne looked at her and smiled, Agda blushed. That woman knew Steinarius ever since they were seventeen, so her compliments meant a lot to the young mage.
"You mentioned Vigdis... what was she like?", Agda found herself asking.
The question didn't surprise Adrianne in the slightest - after all, she had expected Stein's woman to be curious about that mysterious warrior from his past.
"Vigdis had a fire in her, I'll give her that", the blacksmith sighed. "She was beautiful and brave and fierce, but she also had this aura of frailty around her. I guess that's what drew Steinarius to her in the first place: he was extremely fascinated by her most hidden, vulnerable side and longed to make that lonely woman happy. After she got hurt, however, their whole world was destroyed: they both felt guilty for what had happened and they never managed to get over it. Had Vigdis not left, they would have thrown their lives away in a vortex of guilt".
For some reason, Agda felt as though she had already heard those words. Before she could ask Adrianne anything else, however, a wail suddenly reached her ears.
"Marek's finally awake", the blacksmith sighed. "I guess he wants his dinner too; also, I'm sure he wants to meet mommy and daddy's best friends".
As she said those words, Adrianne got up from her seat and went upstairs to retrieve her son. When she returned, Agda felt her heart melt at the sight of the beautiful dark-haired baby in her arms.
"He does look like his dad, doesn't he?", Wulfberth said in that moment. The man had just returned to the room together with Steinarius. "He's got Adrianne's eyes, though. Hopefully he will inherit her beauty too".
As the bulky Nord spoke, he took a couple of steps towards his son and took him in his arms. Much to Agda's surprise, Wulfberth immediately handed the baby over to Steinarius.
"Marek, meet Uncle Stein", he joked. "Be careful, Dragonborn: his voice is as loud as yours. Also, the lad is very heavy already".
As she heard those words, Agda pulled a rather worried face - Steinarius was the clumsiest man she'd ever met and she didn't feel safe knowing that he had a baby in his arms. Her fears, however, disappeared as soon as the Imperial took hold of little Marek. The man looked perfectly at ease with the baby in his arms - and as soon as Steinarius gently shushed him, Marek surprisingly stopped crying.
"He's always been good with children", Adrianne explained when she noticed the shocked look on Agda's face.
Lost in admiration, Steinarius ignored those words and kept on watching Marek.
"A beautiful chubby boy with beautiful chubby cheeks", he commented with a jokeful smile. "Gosh, Adrianne, he's stunning".
"Well, you could ask Agda to get one of those for you too", Wulfberth replied with a wink. "Your namesday is in a month, isn't it?"
Adrianne whispered a healf-hearted reproach, whereas Agda felt her cheeks blush as red as a tomato. Steinarius, on the other hand, chuckled and shrugged.
"I guess I'll have to kill Alduin first", he said with a surprisingly light-hearted tone. "Then, if Agda agrees, we may get one of those for us too", he added while walking towards his girl and gently touching her elbow.
Agda blushed even more, whereas Wulfberth burst into a booming laughter.
"See? Family guy once, family guy forever!"
Steinarius laughed at that comment, whereas Agda felt the desire to cast an invisibility spell to hide the redness on her cheeks. Sensing her embarassement, her companion was quick to give Marek back to Adrianne and change topic of conversation. Later that night, however, when the baby fell asleep and Steinarius took him in his arms once again, Agda didn't fail to notice the expression of love and tenderness on his face - and as she did, she felt the desire to create a family for the first time in her life.
Agda gave Steinarius a long, loving look. It was early morning and the first rays of sun were filtering through the little windows of their bedroom. As a consequence of the many drinks from the previous night, the man was still sleeping soundly beside his lover. Agda was happy about that: for once she could observe the Dragonborn while he was asleep and revel in the little things she loved so much about him.
Smiling, the mage ran her fingers along the Imperial's hooked nose, she traced the outline of his thin lips, she gently stroked his wild and tousled hair. As she did that, Agda noticed the scent of lavender, nightshade and juniper coming from her lover' skin. Agda loved that smell and she loved the fact that, every time she laid down in their huge bed in Breezehome, she was immediately engulfed by it. That was probably one of the little luxuries of sleeping in the same place every night, the girl thought: after all that time, the rooms of Breezehome had inevitably absorbed Steinarius' unmistakeable scent, that scent that resembled Agda of juniper and lavender and nightshade, of leather and steel and mead. The same was true for his bed: every time Agda laid her head on the pillows, she immediately felt her favourite smell in the world - and that was one of the reasons why she loved Breezehome so much.
As she thought about the previous night, Agda sighed. She, Steinarius, Adrianne, Wulfberth and their baby had met at the Bannered Mare and had spent the night there, listening to Mikael' songs and talking about their routines. Yet, their happiness had been ruined by the fact that Steinarius was meant to leave for the Throat of the World soon.
There was a soft whimper and Agda immediately forgot her thoughts. Steinarius stirred in his sleep, then he slowly opened his eyes. When he saw his lover, he greeted her with a crooked and tired smile.
"Morning, honey".
Agda chuckled at the sleepiness in Stein's voice, then gave him a little kiss on the lips.
"Morning to you too", she smiled.
"How long have you been awake?", the man asked, a tingle of concern in his voice.
"Not long", Agda reassured him with a caress. "Anyway, don't worry: I didn't get bored at all. I love watching you when you're asleep".
Steinarius pulled a worried and serious face.
"That's creepy, honey", he commented.
Agda laughed at that, then she draped her arms around the Imperial and pulled him closer. As she did, she remembered that he was naked.
"Memories from last night", Steinarius jokingly told her when he guessed her thoughts.
Agda had to smile at that. Sleeping in Stein's old house also meant that she and the Imperial had much more privacy than usual - and in turn, that meant they could spend the nights doing whatever they wanted. They still hadn't had proper sex, but on the previous night the girl had teased her lover so much that his groans and shouts had eventually gained the attention of the local guards.
You shouldn't use the Thu'um inside cities, an overzealant sentinel had told a very shocked Agda on the threshold of her house. And you shouldn't train inside buildings either.
"Maybe we could get some more training this morning", Stein said, a mischievous smile on his lips as he remembered that conversation from the previous night. "That paralysis spell of yours was surprisingly good. And the things you did to me while I couldn't move..."
As the man spoke, his voice reminded Agda of a cat's purr. It was amazing to see that human side of the Dragonborn - and it was endearing to know that he showed that side of him only to her.
"I won't train any further with you, Stein", Agda said with a chuckle. "Yesterday night was an exception. Your collarbone..."
"My collarbone is perfectly healed!", Steinarius protested. "Look, I can even rotate my shoulders without problems!"
As he spoke, the Dragonborn tried to support his words by showing Agda that he could move his arms without feeling any pain. Unfortunately for him, that wasn't entirely true - and when he let out a strangled whimper, the mage was quick to take advantage from that.
"You'll be healed soon, sure, but until then I don't want you to make too many efforts".
Steinarius dramatically scoffed.
"Slaying random bandits while we ride in the planes is okay, but making love to you in our bed is dangerous. Sometimes I don't understand you, honey".
Knowing that her man had a point, Agda lowered her gaze and fell silent. As he noticed that his words had got to her, however, Steinarius pulled her closer to his chest. He knew that part of her anxiety probably depended on all she'd suffered at the hands of Ancano - but more than that, he blamed her hesitation on the fact that, every time they were too happy, something always managed to destroy their relationship.
"What's wrong, Agds?"
Shaking her head, the woman buried her face deeper into his chest. When she didn't say anything, the Dragonborn kindly caressed her forehead.
"You're worried something may go awry, aren't you?", he whispered, his voice soft and kind.
"It always does", the mage said, her voice fleeble and weak. "Now I understand how you felt back in Riverwood: to me, it seems like we're living in a bubble of happiness that will explode as soon as we leave this city. This is why I'm pretending you still haven't recovered - and this is why I don't want you to leave for the Throat of the World. Gosh, I wish we could have a quiet life just like Adrianne and Wulfberth! I wish I wasn't the Archmage of Winterhold and I wish you weren't the Dragonborn!"
Steinarius listened to Agda's confession in silence, then he gently ran his hands up and down her spine.
"I'm scared too, Agds", he whispered. "Yet, we must endure this just for a little while. I'm visiting the Greybeards soon - and if everything goes according to my plans, in less than a month Alduin will be dead. And after Alduin dies, I'll move to Winterhold and we'll live there together".
As she heard those words, Agda shook her head. She didn't think things would be that easy; also, she didn't want to go back to Winterhold. Whiterun felt like the perfect place to her and she was eager to build a life there.
Sighing, Steinarius surprised the girl by freeing himself from her hug and getting out of bed. He put on the first clothes he found, then he ran a hand through his tousled hair.
"D'you know what, Agds? If we want to be happy, I need to defeat Alduin - and to defeat Alduin, I need to go to the Greybeards. I can't wait any longer: I'm leaving in a couple of hours".
As she heard those words, Agda was overrun by a hurricane of mixed feelings. Enthusiasm for her man's decision, fear for the upcoming fight against Alduin, sadness at the thought of leaving Whiterun behind and going back to Winterhold. When she realized that she didn't want to return to the College, the woman got up and put on her clothes too.
"I agree with you, Stein", she said while looking her lover in the eyes. "And I'm coming to the Throat of the World with you".
There was a moment of silence during which the Dragonborn scorched Agda's face with his grey eyes. He was worried about her decision, but at the same time he knew he couldn't leave her behind.
"Alright", he eventually sighed. "We'll do this together, Agds - and once we're done, the world will be a better place".
Leaving Whiterun was much more difficult than Agda had expected. Not only was she forced to say goodbye to everyone she knew - she also had to pack all her belongings. Also, when she finally thought she was ready to go, Steinarius surprised her by voicing his desire to visit the Hall of the Dead.
"I ask for Eidan's protection every time I leave the city", he said, his cheeks red with embarassement.
Agda was surprised by that request, but she was quick to adjust to it - and when Steinarius asked her to go with him, she quickly accepted the invitation.
Eidan's resting place was a simple urn decorated with small paintings and flowers. Agda remained in respectful silence as her man knelt down in front of it and whispered a prayer under his breath. Once Steinarius was done, he left a few coins and a couple of mountain flowers near the tomb, then he took Agda's hand and led her outside Whiterun.
The young mage was surprised when his man decided to ride towards Riverwood rather than taking the shortcut through Valtheim; yet, she understood the reason behind that choice when Steinarius told her that he had warned Hadvar's relatives of their upcoming visit.
Returning to Riverwood was a true surprise for Agda: everyone greeted her with smiles and compliments and everyone made their best to make her feel welcomed and loved. Orgnar suspiciously eyed Steinarius for the whole time, but nonetheless organized a small party for her and the Dragonborn. Sigrid was eager to tell her about all the things that happened in the small town ever since Agda'd left, whereas all the others listened carefully to her tales. By the time the girl managed to leave the small village, it was already late afternoon - and by the time she left, her knapsack had already been filled with beautiful gifts. A couple of gloves knitted by Gerdur, a stuffed toy from little Dorthe, a beautiful elven dagger from Alvor... Agda was amazed by the affection the people of Riverwood showed her and temporarily forgot about Steinarius' upcoming task.
It looked like her former friends still cared about her - and when she realized it, Agda felt like the luckiest woman in Nirn.
The two riders reached Ivarstead shortly after sunset. Rather than booking a room at the local inn, however, Steinarius led his woman to a small wooden cabin not far from the village.
"It belonged to an alchemist", the man explained. "I bought it about a year ago because I wanted a place where I could rest before facing the Seven-Thousand Steps once in a month. The local inn is too small and busy - and then, I was tired of being asked to kill bears by a madwoman who lives there".
Agda chuckled at that, then she made her way inside the small building. When she noticed the huge bubble bath in a corner and the many roses scattered on the bed, the girl couldn't help but raise her eyebrow in confusion.
"This morning I asked Lydia to come over and make this place a bit more romantic than usual", Steinarius explained, embarassement well evident in his voice. "I'm afraid she might have overdone it. I think she took revenge for the fact that I sent her here with such a short notice".
Agda chuckled at that, then she touched the water inside the bath. It was warm and had a good flowery scent.
"Well, maybe we should take advantage from Lydia's efforts", she murmured. As she spoke, the girl couldn't believe that those words were coming out from her mouth. "After all, someone in this very same room wanted to make love to me no less than twelve hours ago".
There was a moment of silence during which Steinarius carefully watched Agda. There was desire in his eyes, but the girl knew that he was probably wondering whether she was making fun of him. In order to make things even clearer, the young mage took a couple of steps towards him and laid a hand on his chest. Under his light shirt she could feel Steinarius' heartbeat become faster than usual.
"If you have changed your mind, we can obviously just..."
Agda never got to finish that sentence: realizing that she was serious, Steinarius cupped her face in his strong hands and took her in a deep, rough and passionate kiss. A moment later, his right hand went to his shirt and started unbuttoning it, whereas the left one pulled his lover even closer.
Agda was surprised by her man's desire - and she was even more surprised by the needy groan he produced when she laid her hands on his bare chest. It was just a matter of seconds before the strongest warrior of the land took her in his strong arms and carefully laid her on their bed - and it took him just a few more moments to get rid of his trousers and climb over her. When Agda looked at him, she realized that Steinarius' eyes were almost golden with passion. Kissing her again, the man snuck his hands under the hem of her dress; when the mage whimpered because of the contact between her warm flesh and his cold fingers, however, the Imperial abruptly stopped moving. His eyes immediately returned grey, whereas his cheeks flushed red in embarassement.
"Agds, I... I'm sorry. Gosh, it's been so long since the last time I did this... I haven't scared you, have I? Divines, and to say that I wanted to take it slow and make you comfortable! My damned beast blood took over and I..."
Agda tried to stop Steinarius' rants by placing a finger on his lips; yet, the man kept on talking.
"I'm sorry, honey. After all you've been through with that damned Thalmor, I should know better than to assault you like I did. If you have changed your mind about..."
This time, when Agda chuckled and shushed him, Steinarius immediately fell silent. His concern was moving, but it also caused the girl to think of things she'd long tried to forget.
"Stein, I perfectly remember what Ancano did to me", Agda told him, her brown eyes locked with his grey ones. "And I'd be much happier if you hadn't brought it up. I don't want that damned man to take these moments away from me - and this is why I didn't stop you when you kissed me so roughly. I'm ready to sleep with you, love - actually, I've never been more ready than this".
Steinarius was moved by Agda's words and he replied to them by kissing her on the lips. Then, much to the mage' surprise, he sat up on the bed and took her into his arms, so that the girl found herself in his lap. At that point the Imperial gently caressed his hair and nipped her neck. Surprised by his sweetness, Agda closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around him.
Steinarius kept on kissing her neck for what felt like a lifetime. His ministrations were slow and sweet and sensual and soon enough Agda realized that her heartbeat had sped up.
"Stein..."
When she whispered his name, the man immediately looked up at her with a tingle of worry in his eyes. As she saw herself reflected in his grey irises, Agda realized she couldn't wait for him any longer.
"Undress me", she whispered, her voice needy and shy at the same time.
Steinarius smiled at Agda's eagerness, then he nuzzled her neck and held her close, squeezing her in a tight embrace. A moment later, his finger found the buttons of her dress.
He undressed his lover slowly, tenderly, kissing every patch of skin that was revealed to his eyes and reveling in the sighs that often left her lips. When Agda laid back on the bed and brought his hands to her breasts, Steinarius realized that the mage wanted this just as much as he did. The Dragonborn peeled the last clothes off her body with all the tenderness he could muster, reveling in the feeling of her soft and cold skin under his callous fingers. Steinarius could feel the lines of Agda' scars as he caressed her, but right then he couldn't care less - and when he began exploring her body and studying the reactions on her face, he felt like the luckiest man in the world. Agda was the most incredible woman he knew and she was amazingly, completely his.
They made love slowly, sweetly, all while making sure to satisfy each other's desires. Steinarius allowed Agda to set the rhythm, to guide his hands along her body, to tell him how she wanted to be kissed and caressed and loved. He looked her in the eyes for the whole time and, when she finally whispered his name and tightened her grip around him, he kissed her lips and joined her in that rebirth.
They remained like that for what felt like years, their bodies still connected and their hearts beating madly in the afterglow. Steinarius laid his head on the pillow beside Agda's, then he gently caressed her hair, kissed her lips, played with her curls - and when he saw a few tears in her eyes, he was quick to wipe them away.
"What's wrong, Agds?", he whispered, his voice full of warmth and love.
The girl shook her head and didn't say anything. After Steinarius kissed her cheek, however, she sighed and spoke.
"I'm thinking of what Wulfberth said about you", she whispered while looking her man in the eyes. "He said that you're a family guy - and in return, you said the two of us may have a child one day. What we just did... Well, maybe in nine months we may have a child indeed".
When Agda looked away from him, Steinarius slightly frowned. In Riverwood he used to pull away from her at the last moment in order to avoid undesired consequences; that night, however, the thought of doing something like that hadn't even crossed his mind.
"I'm sorry", the Imperial said, embarassement well evident in his voice. "You're right. I should have asked you rather than..."
"Stein, that is not the point", Agda broke him off. The girl looked slightly nervous. "It's just... I've just realized that I actually hope we may have a child in nine months time. We've never really discussed this, but I know this is what I want. After seeing you with Marek the other night..."
When Agda trailed off and blushed, Steinarius smiled. He kissed her gently, then he moved beside her, so that he could pull her in his arms and allow her to rest her forehead against his without being crushed by his weight.
"So you suddenly want to become a mother", he said with a tender smile. "Well, I want to become a dad too. Maybe not in nine months time, but the idea is there. Actually, I've always dreamt of a big family - you, me, a couple of dogs and six or seven children running around".
Those words caused Agda's eyes to widen in surprise.
"There is no way 'six or seven children' will get out of my body, Imperial", she said, her voice jokingly serious. "I was thinking of one, maybe two".
This time it was Steinarius' turn to look shocked.
"Agds, but I want a big family! I was an only child and I know how sad it is to be alone all the time!"
The young mage sighed.
"Alright, we'll have two children", she concealed. "Not one less, not one more. And where will we live, Stein?"
Surprised by the amusement in Agda's eyes, Steinarius turned on his back and pulled her closer, so that she could rest with her head on his chest.
"I was thinking of Winterhold, actually. That's where you work".
Agda pulled a grimace.
"What about Whiterun? It is much warmer and sunnier".
"If we want 'warmer and sunnier', then we should move to Anvil".
The mention of her birthtown was enough to make Agda's eyes shine with happiness.
"Well, that would be really good. By the way, there is no way we're going to live in Winterhold: as soon as this whole dragon-madness is over, I'll resign from my job and follow you wherever you go. Maybe we could travel through Tamriel for some months, see the world before settling down and having a family. What do you think?"
Steinarius chuckled, but Agda could hear a tingle of sadness in his voice The man was silent for a moment, then he spoke. His tone was surprisingly stern.
"Agds, I love you and building a family with you is my biggest dream", the Dragonborn said while gently caressing her woman's back. "I want you to promise me something, though: whatever happens to me in the fight against Alduin, I want you to be happy. Shall I survive, we'll be happy together; but if I die, I don't want you to spend the rest of your life crying over my fate".
Upon hearing those words, Agda felt her blood turn to ice. She propped herself on her elbows and made to protest, but her man was quick to shush her.
"Agds, I know how it feels to lose the one you love - and I know how hard it is to put the pieces of your life back together. I don't want to die, but I'm not invincible - and if I must depart this world, I want to be sure that you'll be happy even without me".
"You can't ask me that", Agda replied, her voice suddenly trembling. She suddenly had tears in her eyes and Steinarius felt sorry for ruining their first night together after such a long time. "You cannot, Steinarius. After all I did for you..."
"Agds, I'm asking you because I can't be sure to defeat Alduin. Fighting him is scary enough as it is - and fighting him while knowing that your happiness depends on my victory is even scarier".
Agda shook her head at these words and Steinarius had to grab her by the wrists in order to prevent her from leaving their bed. When she began sobbing, he sat up and took her into his arms.
"Please, Agds. Does my happiness matter so little to you?"
The mage was silent for a long while. She was angry at Steinarius - angry because he had brought up that topic, angry because he had ruined that perfect night, angry because he had reminded her of the possibility of his death. But most of all, she was angry at the Divines for choosing her man as the only one who could save the world from the end.
"Agds, please", Steinarius whispered after a while. He sounded tired and, when she looked up at him, Agda noticed that his eyes were shiny with tears too. "Please".
At first Agda shook her head again. Then, however, she tried to put herself in the Dragonborn' shoes. She imagined facing Alduin in his stead, all while knowing that the happiness of the man she loved more than anything else in the world depended on her success; she imagined the fear, the nervousness, the anxiety at knowing that, had she perished, her lover would have probably been sentenced to a life of sadness and despair; she imagined reaching Sovngarde, all while knowing that she'd just left a broken man behind. That was enough for her to realize why Steinarius was asking her to make such a difficult promise.
There was a moment of silence during which Agda felt Steinarius nuzzle the top of her head; when a pained sigh escaped his lips, Agda realized she owed her lover that little promise.
"I... I promise you I will try to be happy, Stein", she whispered. "Whatever happens, I'll try to be happy. I can't promise you I will succeed, though".
Well aware of that, the Imperial nodded. Agda felt him cough a couple of times, then she felt his hands run up and down her spine. A moment later, he looked her in the eyes and placed a chaste kiss on her lips.
"Thank you", Steinarius whispered. "Thank you. And now, please, let's not mention this anymore".
Agda was surprised at the rough pain in Steinarius' voice. Only then, for the first time in her life, she caught a glimpse of what being the Dragonborn looked like.
Steinarius cuddled her and lulled her in his arms for the rest of the night. At a certain point, Agda felt his arms tighten their grip around her and she felt him smile against her ears.
"If we have a son, I'd like to call him Thorygg", Steinarius said out of the blue. "Would that be okay to you?"
Confronted with that unexpected request, Agda frowned.
"If the rebels win the war, our little Thorygg will have quite a difficult life", she pointed out.
"Then we could have another son and call him Ulfric", Steinarius promptly replied. "In that way we would be even".
Shocked by that idea, Agda propped herself on an elbow and looked at Steinarius. When she realized that he was serious, she sighed ands gripped the bridge of her nose.
"Whatever happens in the future, I have promised you I will try to be happy, Stein; now it's your turn to make a vow: promise me that, whatever happens in the future, I will be the one to pick the names for our children".
Steinarius burst into laughter, then he enveloped Agda in his arms.
"Deal", he chuckled. "By the way, I think I know who will take all the decisions in our family - and that someone won't be me".
Agda chuckled at Steinarius' disappointed tone.
"Alright, honey: I will decide the names of our children, but I will also allow you to have a couple of dogs", she replied, amusement now evident in her voice. "Are you satisfied now?"
"Can I have a couple of goats too?"
Agda frowned.
"Why would you want a couple of goats?"
"Because they're fun", Steinarius shrugged. "Also, I love shouting them off mountain cliffs".
When Agda gave him a shocked look, the Dragonborn raised his hands in defeat.
"Fine, no goats and no mountain cliffs! Actually, I did that only once. May I have a bunny though? Everyone loves bunnies!"
Agda looked at her man and smiled. He was obviously trying to cheer her up after the difficult discussion from earlier - and that was one of the reasons she loved him so much.
When the girl rolled her eyes and said that yes, he could buy a bunny, Steinarius smiled - and when the mage fell asleep in his arms after murmuring something about how crazy Imperials could be, he smiled even more.
Agda's happiness was all that mattered to him - and now that she had made him that promise, he could face his future with much more confidence.