Author's note:
With one week of delay on my usual schedule, here I am with my latest update. Work has been a terrible mess these days, but luckily enough this story is there to help me let off steam - and luckily enough, you readers are here to support me.
As usual, I take this chance to thank all my followers, favoriters and reviewers, new and old alike. Also, on a general note, I'd like to thank all those who silently read and appreciate this story. You do a great job at keeping my motivation running!
As for the reviews on chapter 71, I absolutely thank MeanE for their opinion, which was as fun and interesting as usual. I must admit that the events of the previous instalment were rather predictable and that while writing that chapter I was afraid of falling into the following pattern: "Agdy and Stein argue, then they make peace, then they make love, then someone gets tortured and everyone gets mad at the Thalmor - repeat all over again for multiple times". Hopefully the next few chapters will manage to break that pattern once and for all.
Still speaking of MeanE's review, I must thank you for your opinion regarding Rulindil and his monologue. I have noticed that monologues are the fatal flaws of many villains - had Harry Potter's enemies been less chatty during their encounters with him, for example, I think my favourite mage ever wouldn't have survived the first book of his saga.
As for the "cut-off-of-his-monologue-so-you-can-cut-Stein" request, I must say that at first chapter 71 was much more graphic. Then, however, I realized I couldn't bring myself to write those things. Not again, at least - and not about Steinarius.
On to the other reviews, I deeply thank ShipperOfTrashyShps for their opinion. The Thalmor will be heavily involved in the next few chapters - and that will help me explore the idea of the Altmer Dragonborn. Speaking of which, I'm glad Batzrblind (btw, love your nickname!) liked that idea. Also, it was good to know that you enjoyed chapter 71. You definitely gave me the motivation to finally get down to writing this new instalment and for that I sincerely thank you.
The current chapter creates a bridge between Steinarius being tortured and the future development of the story. It is a bit of a filler-instalment and it is probably one of the worst things I have ever written, but I promise that from now things will get even more interesting.
What else can I say, my dear readers? As usual, enjoy and let me know what you think!
25th of Last Seed, 4E 203
As Colette finished up her soup, Agda nervously chewed on the inside of her cheek. The young mage looked like a ghost: her face was pale, her hair was a mess, her tired eyes were surrounded by dark shadows. But most of all, the young Nord couldn't stop checking the weather from one of the little windows of the Hall of the Vigilantes.
"My dear, you certainly are eager to be with your loved one again!", Colette commented upon noticing the look of worry and distress in Agda's eyes. "Too bad that this snowstorm has blocked us here".
Ignoring Colette's remark, Agda scoffed. She was glad her Restoration teacher had decided to get to Whiterun with her, yet she sincerely hoped there wouldn't be any chance for the Breton to prove her skills. Unfortunately, ever since her meeting with Vigdis, Agda believed that tragedy was about to strike.
After being visited by Steinarius' first love, Agda had had struggled to keep track of all the things she'd just found out about. First, Delphine had told her the truth about the Thalmor and their fake Altmeri Dragonborn; second, a Daedra was after her soul; third, Steinarius was truly in danger; last but not least, Vigdis was alive and well - and Agda owed her for saving her life from Ancano.
In order to come to terms with all those discoveries, Agda had taken a series of important decisions. First of all, the girl had visited Septimus Signus' hideout in the hope to discover more about Hermaeus Mora's interest for her soul. Upon reaching that messy cave, Agda had been shocked to find the lifeless body of her colleague in a pool of blood. At first she had blamed Vigdis for taking Septimus' life, but then she had noticed the marks left by huge tentacles all over his corpse. Despite that gruesome sight, the Archmage had not faltered: she had stepped towards the Dwemer machinery in the cave, then she had summoned Hermaeus Mora by simply whispering his name.
Agda of Anvil, the Daedra had greeted her with the usual seductive voice. We finally meet, mortal. Septimus Signus offered me his soul, and so did the black-eyed woman who saved your life from the Thalmor. Nonetheless, I only pick the souls of the best people I come across - which is why I refused their gifts and insisted on showing you the right path through your dreams.
Slightly scared by the globe of tentacles in front of her, Agda had tried to resist the compliments of the Daedra. In the end, however, Mora had made her a very tempting offer.
You are torn, mortal, I can see that, the Daedra had told her. You are torn between the desire of a happy life with the man you love and the fear of losing everything because of a woman who may or may not be a liar. It is knowledge that you seek, Agda: come to me and you will have it. I will show you what is right and wrong and I will help you know what happened the night after Ancano tortured you, so that you can decide whether to believe Vigdis or not.
Confronted with that offer, Agda had hesitated at long. Were the memories of just one night worth her soul? And could a Daedra really help her find happiness with the man she loved?
It had taken Agda a lot of time, but she had evntually made up her mind - and as soon as she had, Hermaeus Mora had awarded her by giving her all her memories back. Agda had remembered the way Ancano had tortured her, she had remembered waking up in a dismissed lighthouse together with Vigdis, she had remembered the crazy journey to Dawnstar in the company of that mysterious woman - and right then Agda had understood that she needed to trust that thief.
Upon making up her mind, Agda had immediately returned to Winterhold. Sadly enough, she had been blocked in the city by the sudden arrival of a very angry dragon. In the attempt to make her city safer, Agda had decided to attend a meeting with Jarl Korir and the local head of the Stormcloaks on the following afternoon - and in order to attend that meeting, she had been forced to postpone her departure for Whiterun. Fearing the possible consequences of that delay, the mage had taken a difficult decision: she had written Steinarius a long letter to ask him - or, better, beg him - to remain inside the safe walls of Whiterun until her return.
It's a matter of life and death, my love, Agda had written in the last sentence of that letter. And once we are together I will explain you why - for now I only need you to trust me.
It had been five days since Agda had sent that letter. Unfortunately, after handing it to a courier and leaving for Whiterun shortly afterwards, the girl had been blocked in the Hall of the Vigilantes by an unexpected snowstorm. Colette was happy about it and couldn't understand why her Archmage was so grumpy; Agda, on the other hand, couldn't do anything but pray Stendarr and all the other Divines to keep Steinarius safe.
When she approached the stables of Whiterun, Agda felt the urge to let out a sigh: it had taken her almost a week, but now she could finally protect Steinarius against their common enemies. The mage's relief, however, was replaced by a feeling of nausea and uneasiness as soon as an old acquaintance of hers walked out of the stablemaster's house.
"Lydia, what are you doing here?", Agda asked when she found herself face-to-face with her man's huskarl.
Confronted with the unexpected appearance of the mage, Lydia deadpanned. When she noticed the fear on her face, Agda understood that something was wrong, deeply and horribly wrong.
"Lydia, what are you doing here?", she repeated, worry well evident in her voice.
While waiting for a reply, Agda tried to calm her frantic heartbeat. Surely there had to be a reason if Lydia was at the stables rather than in Breezehome - maybe Steinarius was training with Vilkas, maybe he had asked her to see that his horse was well fed, maybe she had a love-affair with the local stablemaster... As all those possible explanations were met with the terrified expression of the young huskarl, however, Agda understood that they were completely, utterly wrong. Something had happened - something unpleasant that probably involved Steinarius.
"Agda, Steinarius... He is... We cannot find him", Lydia answered at last. "He left Breezehome yesterday morning and he still hasn't come back. We're looking for him all over the city, but it looks like he's vanished into thin air".
Disbelief. Anxiety. Fear. Panic.
All those emotions washed over Agda at once, causing her to almost fall off her horse.
"It cannot be", she whispered, her voice full of confusion. "It cannot be, Lydia. I told you to look after Steinarius while I was away, I told you to look after him! Where is he now? Where are the Companions? Why didn't you keep an eye on him while I was away?"
Surprised by the way Agda's hands were visibly trembling, Colette carefully tried to calm her.
"Dear, there is no need to overreact like this!", she said. "Your man has probably gone hunting somewhere. The weather has been awful over the last few days, so he might have found shelter in some hunter's campsite while waiting for the storms to cease".
Although Colette's words made sense, Agda knew that Steinarius wasn't simply resting in a hunter's campsite. For some reason, the mage felt absolutely sure that something had happened- something bad, something that was about to destroy the happy life she'd tried so hard to build together with the Dragonborn.
Unable to explain why she was so terrified, Agda tried to get out of that situation by doing what she could best: she summoned a group of friends and people she trusted, then she organized the search for Steinarius.
In her heart she deeply hoped she wasn't too late to find him.
The rest of the day went by hectically. Riding like mad, Agda reached Rorikstead on her own, then she explored a vast part of the planes between Whiterun and Hjaalmar.
The mage was desperate: she knew Steinarius might have left Whiterun just to take a stroll in the woods of Falkreath, but she also knew that he might have been kidnapped and killed by the Thalmor. Torn by anxiety, the young Nord couldn't stop the tears that were streaking down her face - had she listened to Delphine, had she been less stubborn, had she trusted Vigdis, everything would have been different.
You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, a voice on the back of her mind whispered. Maybe Steinarius is waiting for you with open arms in Whiterun.
Or maybe he lies dead in the Thalmor Embassy, another, colder voice replied.
Trying to ignore those devious thoughts, Agda eventually decided to return to Whiterun. By then the sun was about to set and her horse was covered in sweat and blood because of all the times she had used a magic whip to make him go faster. While noticing the red stains on Snowbell's otherwise pure-white coat, Agda resumed crying once again. She was a hateful creature, that was the truth: she was unable to defend the ones she loved, but at the same time she had no troubles harming generous creatures like her own horse. Troubled by that thought, Agda felt so sick with herself that she had to stop in the middle of the road because of the strong feeling of nausea that suddenly washed over her.
When she finally got back to Whiterun, Agda immediately noticed the busy crowd of worried people near the stables. The girl recognized Kodlak Whitemane and Farengar Secret-Fire, she recognized Adrianne Avenicci and her husband, she recognized Lydia and Colette - and a moment later, she noticed the wooden stretcher that two bulky Companions were carrying. There was a body lying on that stretcher, a body Agda couldn't clearly see - but when Farkas and Vilkas looked at her with a mixture of sadness and guilt and regret, the mage understood.
The injured warrior being carried to Whiterun was her beloved Steinarius.
Agda didn't know what time it was when she finally came to. The girl remembered noticing the look of distress in Vilkas and Farkas' eyes, she remembered hopping off her horse and running towards Steinarius, then she remembered catching a glimpse of the Imperial's broken and battered body - and as she had, the girl had let out the most desperate scream anyone in Whiterun had ever heard. Now, surrounded by the unnatural calmness of the Temple of Kynareth, Agda struggled to understand what had happened since then.
"Oh dear, you're finally awake!", someone suddenly told her, thus snapping her out of her confused thoughts.
Blinking, Agda sat up on her bed only to find herself face-to-face with Colette. Before the young Nord could do anything, her former teacher threw her arms around her shoulders.
"Oh Agda, I'm so sorry this had to happen to you!", the Breton sighed before Agda could even understand what was going on. "Steinarius seemed such a nice man!"
Scared by those words, Agda broke free from Colette's arms. She had a lot of questions for her teacher - questions that were in desperate need for an answer.
"What do you mean, Steinarius seemed such a nice man? What happened since I got back to Whiterun? Where is my boyfriend now?"
Trying to stop the hurricane of words coming out of Agda's lips, Colette shushed her.
"After you saw Steinarius' body, you began screaming like mad", she reminded her. "You ran towards him, but one of the Companions stopped you - and when you caught a better glimpse of Steinarius, you passed out. We have kept you sedated ever since".
Annoyed by the discovery, Agda frowned.
"Why did you sedate me? I am a healer and I know how to help my man!"
"Agda, I think you know the answer to that question", Colette said, her voice motherly and soothing. "Danica and her men are working hard to save Steinarius' life. We decided to keep you sedated so that you wouldn't disturb them".
Agda felt outraged by those words.
"Disturb them? I am a healer myself! How can they think..."
"Agda, curing your loved ones is always difficult", the elder mage broke her off. "And believe me when I say that Danica and the others need to be absolutely focused if we want Steinarius to live. I have just come out of his room and things don't look too bright".
"How bad is it?"
Confronted with the piercing gaze of her best pupil, Colette understood that she couldn't keep the truth from her.
"Agda, Steinarius has been through a lot over the last few hours. Someone took all their rage out on him: they hit him, they harmed him with knives and magic, they broke many of his bones. Also, they poisoned him with a substance we still haven't managed to identify. As a result, his heart has stopped beating three times over the last three hours - and we still don't know if he'll make it to tomorrow".
To Agda those words were like a cold shower. Feeling her blood turn into ice, the woman remembered the last images she'd seen before passing out that evening - she remembered the blood covering Steinarius' face, the strange position of his limbs, the look of sympathy in Farkas and Vilkas' eyes. Fighting against her dizziness, the mage fought hard to stand up.
"I need to see him", she told Colette. "I cannot stay here while Steinarius is fighting for his life".
"Agda, dear, I know how you feel", the mage sympathetically told her. "Yet, I think it is not a good idea. Wait until the healers are done and his wounds are dressed".
"You have just said that Steinarius may not make it to tomorrow", Agda replied, a look of stubborness in her brown eyes. "If he dies before the healers are done, I will regret it for the rest of my life".
There was a moment of silence during which Colette carefully analyzed Agda's expression. The girl still looked weak and tired and dizzy as an effect of the spells Farengar had used to keep her sedated, but in her eyes there was a fierceness the elder teacher had never witnessed before.
"Fine", she said with a loud sigh. "You may see your man".
Despite living in Whiterun for a few weeks, Agda had never visited the interior halls of the Temple of Kynareth. Everything in that place seemed to be calm and soothing: there were candles everywhere, beautiful mosaics on the ground, a soft scent of lavender in the air. The trained eyes of an experienced healer like Agda, however, couldn't be deceived: the Temple of Kynareth was a place for the wounded and the ill - and as such, it was a place of pain and despair.
While approaching the room where Danica and her helpers were tending to Steinarius, Agda came across many people she knew. Lydia, the Companions, Adrianne, even Proventus Avenicci... The whole of Whiterun seemed to have gathered in the temple in order to pray for their fellow citizen to survive. Agda, however, was too focused to notice the way many of those people tried to express their sympathy or to soothe her with words: right then, the young mage could only think of her man.
When the doors to the room where Steinarius was laying slowly creaked open, Agda expected to be overrun by gruesome scenes of death and despair. She was therefore surprised when she noticed how clean and bright and well-kept that place was.
"I couldn't keep her away from here", Colette whispered, thus drawing Danica's attention to herself. The experienced priestess was just one of the many mages inside the room - and Agda was surprised to recognize Farengar Secret-Fire and Arcadia the alchemist among them.
"We have summoned Erandur of Dawnstar too", Danica said while walking towards Agda. The girl was amazed by the way that old priestess seemed to read her mind. "We will need all the help we can get to save the Dragonborn".
Frowning, Agda finally dared looking at the stone bed Steinarius was laying on - and as she did, she felt once again on the verge of fainting.
The prophesized savior of Skyrim was still unconscious. Farengar and Arcadia still hadn't begun dressing his wounds, therefore Agda could immediately realize how bad her man was doing. His face was covered in blood and bruises, especially along his cheeks. His nose was broken, whereas the tip of his right ear seemed to be missing.
"Steinarius has taken quite a lot of blows", Danica carefully informed Agda. Shocked by the many injuries her man had sustained, the mage stood still like a statue. "He has a few broken ribs, broken eye sockets, a broken cheekbone, two broken wrists and a broken collarbone. His legs have been broken too, whereas his chest is full of bruises and burns".
As she listened to those words, Agda took a step towards her man and gently laid a hand on his chest. The skin was cold and slick with blood, whereas his heartbeat seemed worryingly erratic.
"We had to relive his heart three times", Danica said when she noticed the frown on the girl's face. "As well as beating your man, his torturers gave him some weird poison that almost caused his organs to stop working. Luckily enough, Arcadia prepared a strong antidote before the effects of the poison could do their job".
Agda didn't need to ask what ingredients the poison had been made of - the dark edges along the cuts on Steinarius' chest were a common reaction to the mixture of silver and vampire powder werewolves hated so much.
Still frowning, the girl looked at the blanket someone had placed on Steinarius' lower body. Following her gaze, Danica sighed.
"They burned him there too", the healer revealed. "Actually, I think that in the future he might have troubles getting a woman pregnant. That is, if he survives tonight".
Realizing she had been too blunt, the priestess abruptly fell silent. Agda, instead, spoke for the first time since she had entered the room.
"I need some time alone with him", she whispered, her voice feeble and weak. "Please".
Danica made to protest, but something in Agda's expression made her understand that it wasn't the case to argue. Agda was extremely distressed, sure, but she was also one of the best healers of the land - and as such, she was probably the best person who could take care of Steinarius in that moment.
"If you need anything, we'll be in the next room", the priestess kindly told her.
Nodding, Agda waited until the other mages left her alone with her man, then she began cleansing his body from the blood, washing his hair, dressing his wounds. When she was done, the girl sat down and thought once again of all the injuries her man had sustained. She thought of his broken limbs, of his battered torso, of his mutilated ear; she thought of the way she had ignored Delphine and Vigdis' warnings, of the way she had kept the danger hidden from him, of the way she'd drawn Elenwen's hatred to herself by kicking her out of the peace treaty in High Hrotghar - and as she did, Agda couldn't help but repeat the same damned words over and over in her mind.
It is all my fault.