AN:

My dear readers, I have been silent for many months now, and many of you have probably thought I have forgotten about Agda and Steinarius. Well, I'm glad to take this chance to wish you all a Happy New Year and tell you that I haven't!

With the beginning of 2019, I have promised myself to spend more time writing, no matter how hectic things in my offline life can get. Sure, I probably won't be able to keep up a decent update schedule, but I would like to give it a try and publish a new chapter at least once a month. Agda and Stein's story still has a long way to go and I'm not going to give up on it! For this reason, here I am with a new update.

As Valtieri and MeanE pointed out in their last reviews, Agda and Stein's problems seem to be repeating themselves over and over again. Soon, however, the story is about to take an unplanned twist. Without further delays, however, let me present you this new instalment!

Quick summary of the previous episodes: Stein got tortured by the Thalmor and is now feeling bad, Agda is feeling guilty for having kept the danger from him despite Delphine and Vigdis' warnings (she just wrote him a simple letter that got lost somewhere in the wilderness of Skyrim), Stein has now agreed to be cured by a Thalmor healer summoned by his mother, Agda is pregnant and refuses to let anyone know. How is it going to end?

Let's find out!

7th of Frostfall, 4E 204

Sighing, Agda laid a hand on her belly and closed her eyes. She was experiencing the usual morning dizziness and felt too weak even to get up from the chair where she was sitting.

"Agda, are you okay? I have left some letters for you in the hallway. I'll be back in a minute!"

When Lydia shouted those words from the lower floor of Breezehome, Agda replied with a strangled mewl. She still hadn't told anyone about her pregnancy and kept disguising her sickness by saying that she had come down with a flu. After all, if she was to reveal her condition, she wanted Steinarius to be the first to know.

Ever since their discussion from the previous week, the young mage avoided visiting her lover. Much to her dismay, Steinarius hadn't asked for her even once - and much to her dismay, the rumors coming from the Temple claimed that Ancarion was a very good healer.

"The Dragonborn is already walking!", an enthusiast farmer had stated the day before at the marketplace, unaware of the fact that the woman who was buying carrots beside him was Steinarius' lover.

Agda had first thought the man was reporting unfounded rumours, but had been forced to change her mind during a conversation with Lydia.

"The Thane is feeling much better", the young Huskarl had claimed over dinner a couple of days earlier. "He's not in pain anymore".

Despite those good news, Agda wasn't happy. Steinarius' conditions were critical when he had been first transported to Whiterun, and she deemed it impossible for a Thalmor healer to cure him over a week. Sure, Ancarion perfectly knew what kind of spells and poisons and weapons had been used on the Dragonborn, but that wasn't enough to grant him such a fast recovery. That Thalmor was up to something - and Agda feared that Steinarius was in danger once again.

To say it all, the mage couldn't even understand why Elenwen had sent Ancarion to Whiterun. The Thalmor were secretly training an Altmer Dragonborn in order to replace Steinarius before of the final battle against Alduin, so that the world could be saved by one of their agents rather than by a former Imperial soldier who deeply hated the Dominion. If the information reported by Vigdis and Delphine were true, why were Thalmor curing Steinarius instead of simply getting rid of him?

As all those questions ran through Agda's mind, someone timidly knocked on the door to Breezehome. Sighing, the girl yelled at the stranger to come in. She was feeling well enough to sit on a chair by her bed, but walking to the door was definitely out of question.

"I'm in the bedroom, come up!", the girl shouted as soon the unknown visitor opened the door of her house.

While waiting for her visitor to appear on the threshold, Agda readied a weak fire spell. When she found herself face-to-face with Aburius Steinarius, however, she immediately felt safe - safe and surprised by that unexpected visit.

Steinarius' father greeted Agda with the usual warm smile, but he couldn't hide his tired appearance. The man hadn't shaved in days and had black circles under his eyes - eyes that seemed full of worries and doubts.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Agda", he said. "I've heard you aren't doing well".

Hiding a blush, the mage slightly nodded and prepared one of her usual lies.

"It's starting to get cold and I've come down with a bit of influence. Nothing to worry about".

Aburius absent-mindedly nodded, then he looked across the bedroom of Breezehome.

"Unfortunately I still haven't managed to tidy my room today", Agda quickly said as the eyes of her possible father-in-law scanned the unmade bed. "I feel slightly dizzy".

"Nothing to worry about", Aburius replied with a shrug. "Even if my wife disagrees, Breezehome is not one my problems - not yet, at least".

Confronted with Agda's frown, Aburius sat down on her bed and sighed.

"As you know, my wife is rather worried about our son", he said without any further preamble. Agda noticed that the former soldier seemed unable to look her in the eyes and to hide the embarassemene from showing on his cheeks. "She's acting kind of crazy right now, but I really can't blame her. She's always dreamed of having a big family, but unfortunately I had a lot of problems in my youth. That's why Steinarius is an only child - and that's why Lucretia values him above all things".

When Aburius paused to look at her, Agda slightly blushed. Was he really telling her about his fertility problems?

Sensing Agda's embarassement, the old soldier shook his head.

"Agda, I'm not asking you to forgive my wife for the way she treats you, but I need you to understand she's going through a difficult time. This is why she asked me to pay this visit to you. Remember what I just said about Breezehome? Well, Lucretia is growirng tired of living at the inn, so she would like to move in here. After all, this is not your property".

Frowning, Agda sat speechless for a moment.

"If Lucretia wants to move in with me..."

"See Agda, this is the problem", Aburius was quick to cut her off. "My wife doesn't want to move in with you. She wants you to leave Breezehome within this evening, otherwise she'll tell the Jarl that you are occupying her son's house without his written consent".

"But Steinarius..."

"Agda, Steinarius isn't himself those days!", Aburius unexpectedly shouted. "The Thalmor are not curing him, they are killing him!"

Surprised by that sudden outburst, Agda stiffened. Shaking his head, Aburius was quick to hide his face in his hands.

"Agda, I'm sorry, so so sorry... I just... I need your help. My son needs your help",

In the attempt to calm Aburius down, Agda made an effort to get up and lay a hand on his shoulder. The man had just told her she needed to leave Breezehome, but at the moment the girl was more worried by the news regarding Steinarius.

"That Thalmor, Ancarion... He says he's helping my son, but I'm afraid of him", Aburius explained after Agda succeeded in calming him and in pouring him some Brandy. Luckily enough, Steinarius always kept some bottles of it on a shelf in his bedroom.

"There have been some improvements, I can't deny it", Aburius said after taking a sip from his glass. "Steinarius can now sit upright and move his arms without problems and yesterday he even took a couple of steps. He's not in pain anymore and he can sleep without nightmares. Yet, there is something wrong with him, deeply and horribly wrong".

"What do you mean?", Agda asked.

"It's weird, Agda. My son seems to be getting better physically, but his mind... That Thalmor is destroying his personality, Agda. Steinarius is becoming forgetful, he doesn't remember his past, he doesn't recognize people, he even forgot who the Companions are. The other day I mentioned them over lunch and my boy just looked at me, confusion written all over his face. When you were curing him, he had nightmares about all of us, but at least he remembered who we were and who he was. Now, instead, he's forgetting everything that took place in his past".

When Aburius shook his head once again, Agda frowned. The Thalmor were expert at manipulating people's minds; yet, why would they need to make Steinarius forget his past?

Before the girl could voice her doubts, Aburius spoke again.

"Agda, I need you to do me a favor. I know that I've just told you to leave Breezehome to my wife but please, I need you to meet my son and talk to him. He loves you and I'm sure you'll have a good effect on him. Also, given you're mage, you'll be able to understand what's going on".

Even though Aburius had just told her she needed to leave her house before sunset, Agda didn't hesitate: as soon as the man stopped talking, she agreed to meeting Steinarius in order to understand what Ancarion was up to.

That day, when the sun began to set, the mountains around Whiterun became red like fire, whereas the creaks that ran along the planes starting shining like silver snakes hidden in the dark. Yet, Agda had no time to admire the landscape. The girl had just moved the last of her personal belongings to the Bannered Mare and was in a very nervous mood because of that. Most of all, however, the mage was worried about the upcoming meeting with Steinarius.

You'll find him on the battlements, on his usual chair, looking towards Bleak Fall Barrows, Aburius had told her hours earlier. I'll make sure no one is around when you visit him.

Speeding up her pace, Agda sighed. She hadn't seen Steinarius ever since their argument from the previous week and she honestly didn't know what to expect.

When she reached the battlements, the girl looked around for the Imperial. When she spotted him, she felt a shiver down her spine.

Steinarius was exactly where Aburius had predicted. His blonde hair had been cut so short that his mutilated ear was visible, whereas his face was still full of bluish marks around the eyes and along his cheekbones. He was wearing light, baggy clothes that made him look even taller and skinnier than he was and that were visibly out of place in that crispy evening of Frostfall. But most of all, Agda noticed that the Dragonborn was sitting upright and was squeezing a small leather ball he kept in his right hand.

Agda was shocked by that sight. A week earlier, her lover was suffering so much that he had problems lying in bed. Now, instead, he was even sitting upright and moving his arms. How was it possible?

Willing to find an answer to that question, Agda walked up to the Dragonborn, her heart beating madly in her ribcage. Steinarius was her best friend, the man she loved, the father to the child that was growing inside of her. As she thought about that, the girl instinctively laid a hand on her belly. It was high time the Imperial found out about her pregnancy, but she still didn't know how to face that topic. Actually, right then she didn't even know if Steinarius would recognize her or not.

When the man heard the sound of footsteps approaching, he tried to tilt his head sideways. When he got glimpse of Agda, however, he showed no reaction. He didn't greet her, he didn't frown, he didn't smile at her. Confused, the girl stopped for a moment. Could it be that her man had truly forgotten her?

Willing to find an answer to that horrifying question, Agda resumed walking and reached Steinarius' side. When the Imperial didn't say anything, she decided to break the awkward silence between them.

"It's a nice sunset, isn't it?", she asked, feeling stupid for that question and feeling on the verge of fainting at the fear that Steinarius wouldn't reply.

Luckily enough, the Imperial looked at her with his grey eyes, then nodded and spoke.

"It's nice indeed. I come here every evening, but I've never seen such bright colours. You are lucky to have come here today".

As Steinarius spoke, Agda noticed that he was addressing her with a mixture of kindness and caution, almost as though they had never met before. That impression was proven correct when the man next spoke.

"You don't come here often, do you?", he asked, curiosity well evident in his voice.

Shocked by that question, Agda felt a cold shiver run down her spine. Was Steinarius toying with her? Or did he actually had troubles realizing who he was talking to?

"I'm... I'm not from Whiterun", she eventually replied. "I'm from Anvil".

"Really? I'm from Kvatch", the man replied with a smile. A moment later, Steinarius frowned and carefully scanned Agda's face. As he did, the girl noticed that he was paler than usual and that he was sitting upright thanks to a leather strap fastened around his waist. The device seemed extremely uncomfortable.

Before Agda could ask anything about it, Steinarius spoke.

"We have met before, haven't we?"

Surprised by that question, Agda didn't know what to think. Should she be desperate because her man had seemingly forgotten about her, or should she be relieved because, at least, he somehow remembered meeting her sometime earlier in his life?

Trying to keep her feelings in check, the girl nodded.

"We met in Riverwood a couple of years ago", she explained. "We were friends for some time, then we became closer. I usually live in Winterhold, but I left the College because I wanted to help you defeat Alduin".

For a moment, Agda feared Steinarius would ask her who Alduin was, or what College she was talking about. Luckily enough, thanks to her short description of their life together, the man seemed to regain part of his memory.

"You... you are Agda!", he said, surprise well evident in his voice. "Is it correct?"

When the girl nodded, Steinarius sighed in relief.

"Geez, I knew we had met before! I apologize, but my health problems are causing me sudden memory losses. Sometimes I can't even remember my own name!"

Ignoring the worry on Agda's face, Steinarius kept on talking.

"Actually, I remember quite a lot of things about you, Agda. Some of them are probably nightmares, but other things are good. Like, really good. We once slept together in a weird place full of giant mushrooms and shiny rivers, didn't we?"

Although she was caught unaware by that extravagant description of Blackreach, Agda nodded.

"And we also danced together in Riverwood a couple of years ago, at New Life Festival", Steinarius continued. "And the next morning, I woke up and stepped on a poor man that was sleeping by the door. Hadvar, wasn't it? And later that day he argued with a girl, Adaeze. Is it correct?"

When Agda nodded, Steinarius' eyes sparkled with happiness.

"I also remember waking up in Ivarstead and finding you by my side. On that occasion we... Well, maybe I don't remember correctly, but I think that that day we..."

When Steinarius blushed as red as a beet, Agda took it upon herself to finish that sentence on his behalf.

"That day we made love to each other, yes", she said, a slight blush appearing also on her cheeks. "You know, as of late we were more than simple friends".

"I wanted to marry you, didn't I?"

Surprised by that question, Agda felt silent. Confronted with her expression, Steinarius blushed even more.

"Well, maybe I didn't tell you, but I do think I wanted to marry you at some point. Judging from your expression, my torturers found me and I didn't have the time to tell you".

For a moment, Agda smiled. Talking to Steinarius was like talking to a huge, naive child - yet, that child did remember his feelings for her prior to his problems with the Thalmor.

"What do you mean, your torturers?", the mage asked, willing to find out more about what Steinarius actually remembered from his encounter with the Thalmor.

Made unease by the question, the man shrugged.

"I wasn't always like this", he said, his eyes full of sternness. "Someone attacked me on my way to Whiterun. Ancarion is helping me recover. I was beaten up pretty badly and the healers thought I wasn't going to make it. Then Ancarion arrived and helped me feel better".

"Are you friends with Ancarion?"

Confronted with that question, Steinarius scoffed.

"Friend is a big word... Let's just say that he's helping me. His potions are disgusting and his cures are painful, but now at least I can eat on my own. The other day I even took a trip to the restroom on my own legs, which is a big achievement".

The Imperial paused for a moment. As he resumed speaking, his forehead was marred by a wrinkle.

"You were curing me too, right? Before Ancarion? If so, why did you stop visiting me? Did I do anything wrong? Because Ancarion says I often do wrong things".

Moved by the worry in Steinarius' eyes, Agda got closer to him and sat on the short walls of the battlements.

"I was curing you too, Stein", she gently told him. "I stopped visiting you because we had an argument. Don't worry, however: it was all my fault".

Steinarius looked baffled for a moment, then he spoke again. His eyes were full of concentration.

"You didn't tell me why you were feeling dizzy. That's why we argued. I said you were keeping things from me, but I couldn't keep anything from you".

When Agda nodded, Steinarius unexpectedly burst into a laughter.

"Do you know what, Agda? I usually don't remember so many things at once! Also, I've just remembered the small poem I wrote to propose to you. Slaughterfish have teeth, I have thee, I'll be as happy as a man can be if you decide to marry me. What do you think?"

When he noticed Agda's confusion, Steinarius laughed once again.

"I was asking for your opinion about the poem, not for your answer to my question!", he explained. "Actually, there is something else I wanted to ask you. Are you still dizzy in the mornings? You know, women who feel dizzy in the mornings are usually..."

As the Imperial trailed off, Agda decided to gather all her courage and reveal him the truth about her health problems.

"You are right", she said, her cheeks red with embarassement. "Women who feel dizzy in the mornings are usually pregnant. Some weeks ago, you and I went to a meeting in High Hrotghar".

"And we attended some kind of peace talks, right?"

When Agda nodded, Steinarius spoke again.

"If I remember correctly, after the peace talks we cuddled and then you, I mean, we... we took off our clothes and..."

Probably embarassed by that memory, Steinarius trailed off. Confronted with his expression, Agda had to stifle the urge to stand up and throw her arms around his neck.

"We made love, yes", she said, her eyes sparkling with amusement for the first time in weeks. "And that night is the reason why I'm feeling dizzy every morning. I'm with child, Stein. Our child".

There was a moment of silence and Agda briefly feared that Steinarius was about to pass out, as he had visibly paled and now seemed unable to speak.

"You... I... You...", he juttered, his hand pointing towards Agda's belly. Before the girl could say anything, however, the Imperial finally managed to form a coherent sentence. "Can I feel your belly?"

Surprised by that request, Agda stood up and approached her man. With some difficulties due to the strap around his waist, Steinarius leant towards her and laid a hand on her belly. Then, he chuckled.

"It's probably too early to feel anything, but I swear your belly feels different", he smiled. "Gods, I've never felt so happy before. Well, maybe with Vigdis, but that was a long time ago".

When she heard the name of that woman, Agda stiffened. Did Steinarius really have to talk about her in that moment? Then, however, the girl realized the importance of that mention.

"You remember Vigdis", she said, surprise well evident in her brown eyes.

Steinarius chuckled, then he grabbed her hand and pulled her closer.

"Believe it or not, I've just come to remember about Vigdis. And Eidan. And Thorygg. And now I remember you and all the moments we spent together. It looks like your presence is enough to help me retrieve my memories".

Before Agda could express her joy at the news, Steinarius stopped her with a gesture.

"Let's not talk about the past anymore now, shall we?", he said with unexpected sternness. "Also, let's not talk about Alduin either. Let's just talk only about the future. Yours, mine and of our child. Speaking of which, you still haven't commented my poem".

When Agda gave him a confused look, Steinarius was quick to help her remember.

"The proposal poem. I'm still waiting for your opinion. Also, I'd like to have your answer. Agda Seafarer of Anvil, will you marry me and make me the happiest man on Nirn?"

Blame it on her nervousness or on her increased sensitivity, Agda couldn't reply to that question. Yet, when Steinarius saw her nod multiple times and when he noticed the happy tears on her face, he immediately realized what her answer was.

He and Agda were going to be the happiest family of Tamriel.