Hermione opened her eyes when she felt her body come to a halt. She was standing in what appeared to be the living room of quite a large modern apartment, still holding tight to Draco.
She looked around at the room at the furnishings and modern fixtures and was slightly in awe.
"It's not much…" Draco said.
"It's lovely" she said.
"You think?" he asked.
"It's a little 'museum' but I like it. Its very you" she said.
"Well, technically it's a hotel, but its home, for now" he said. "Come, I'll show you the rest of the apartment" he continued.
Hermione kept hold of his hand as he led her around the apartment. She wondered briefly why he lived in a hotel but remembered he had travelled a lot and was a bachelor. He could live wherever he wanted, for as long or as little as he wanted.
"So where in Britain are we exactly?" she asked, as he led her through a door into a tidy kitchen.
"We're in the heart of London" he said. "The Four Seasons Penthouse" he added.
Hermione made her way over to the window and looked out at the city. The lights were shining, and the view was incredible.
"The view is even better from the rooftop" he said, "I'll take you up there, later" he said.
"So you live in a hotel?" she asked, looking across to the London Eye.
"Well, I've travelled a lot, you know, for work, so never really settled down in any one place. I have an account with the Four Seasons and have stayed in almost all of their luxury penthouse apartments" he said, wrapping his arms around her from behind. "I'll take you to them all" he added.
This made Hermione sad. She thought about the future and realised that, unless they travelled within the next three weeks, there would be no time to see all the places he wanted to take her to. She was beginning to regret her decision to teach at Hogwarts.
"You're thinking too much" he said when she was still quiet.
"I'm sorry, I can't help it" she said, pulling out of his embrace and moving to the comfy couch that stood in the middle of the main room.
"What is it?" he asked.
"I know we've been over this before, but I'm about to have a very full schedule. Teaching, looking after a thousand children, spending time with my own children. Its just not going to be possible" she said.
"And like I told you time and time again, we'll just make the most of the times we do get. There will be sneaky weekends, afternoons, evenings. I can come to you, you can apparate to me. The only way it wont work is if one of us gives up" he said.
"Well, I'm not going to give up… But…" she said.
"But nothing Granger. Just trust me. Have a little faith. And if you cant do that, just take it as it comes" he said.
"Que sera sera?" she asked. When he looked confused, she added, "Whatever will be will be?" she said.
"Exactly" he answered.
"How about you show me the rooftop?" she asked.
"I was thinking of peeling you out of those clothes and showing you the bedroom" he said with a mischievous grin on his face.
Hermione stood from the couch and took Draco's hand as he led her to the bedroom.
Hermione smiled in post-orgasmic bliss as she caught her breath in the king size bed of the Penthouse sweet in the Four Seasons Hotel in London. Draco was using the phone to call room service, something Hermione was excited for, as she hadn't eaten yet.
"You know, I could get used to this" she said.
"The room service, or the sex?" he asked, rolling back over and enveloping her in his arms.
"Hmm, both" she said.
"Well, you can have both whenever you want" he said.
"Yeah, I'll just turf the kids off to the Weasleys and come over everyday" she said.
"Bring them" he said.
"Where? Here?" she asked.
"Sure, why not?" he asked.
Hermione thought about this. Was she ready to introduce her kids to him? Were they ready to see their mum happy with another man? They seemed ok with Ron and Vivienne, so why not her?
"I guess so" she said, snuggling into his chest.
They laid this way for a while, neither of them speaking. Hermione was happy. Truly happy. She had decided not to think about what might happen once she was working at Hogwarts and allow herself to enjoy the moments.
She was thinking about the moments they had shared so far. The flirtatious build up to the dates, her living room, her bedroom, her kitchen, the club… She was remembering how amazing he made her feel, each time he touched her. He had this way of giving her goose-bumps just with the slightest touch. She was remembering these, when he spoke.
"I have to ask you something that's been on my mind for a while" he said suddenly.
"That sounds ominous" she said.
"It sort of is" he said.
"Ok, go ahead" she said, lifting herself up onto one elbow.
"I've held off because I guess I was afraid or I suppose I was hopeful maybe. I don't know. But we've never had the discussion about contraception" he said.
"Right" she answered.
"I mean… I suppose I should have bene using muggle condoms or using the spells but every time has been so incredibly intense that its just slipped my mind" he said. "I'm guessing you're using the spells or the muggle pill or something" he continued, looking nervous.
"I feared this conversation, I really did" she said, wondering how she would tell him that she hasn't actually been using contraception at all.
"You did?" he asked.
"Draco, I haven't used contraception either" she said, sitting up, cross legged.
At this, his face was still. She couldn't figure out if he was in shock, if he was happy, sad, confused or just stunned.
"I don't understand. You want to have a baby?" he asked.
"No, that's not it at all" she said. "I don't want you thinking any less of me, I haven't told you because I thought maybe you'd run for the hills. I know what you've been through and I know there are some things I suppose you'd expect but… Merlin…" she said, wondering how to tell him.
"What is it?" he asked, looking concerned now.
"I can't get pregnant" she said.
"Can't?" he asked.
"Can not" she said.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well, I told you about the birth of the triplets, how it was traumatic and there were complications, right?" she said.
"Yeah, but I thought it all worked out ok. You were unwell, but ok?" he asked.
"I lost a lot of blood and they didn't know where the bleeding was coming from. Ron was so busy with the babies and the doctors were concerned because we had lost one of them, they didn't get to me quickly I suppose. They stitched me up but there was a lot of scar tissue. The doctors said that if I ever got pregnant, it would be a miracle. They said less than one per cent chance of me ever falling pregnant" she said, sadly.
"But not zero?" he asked.
"No, I suppose not, but I have not used protection since the babies were born and so far, have not fallen pregnant" she said.
"Should we be using precautions?" he asked.
"Well, I don't think so. The doctors were pretty clear" she said.
Before Draco could respond, there was a knock at the door.
"That would be the room service, he said, climbing out of bed and throwing on some pants that sat low on his hips.
"I wouldn't answer the door like that" Hermione said, looking him up and down.
"Why?" he asked.
"For one, you have love bites all over your chest… and two, if it's a straight woman or a gay man at the door, the poor thing may actually melt" Hermione said.
Draco just looked down and shrugged.
"So, I suppose they'll melt then" he said with a smile that didn't touch his eyes.
While he was gone, Hermione thought about their conversation. He seemed upset almost, that she couldn't fall pregnant. Of course he did, he probably wants a family of his own, she thought. After all the happiness, the conclusion that she would take this relationship as it came, allow herself to be happy and content, she was suddenly very aware that there was something she could not give him, something that he was biologically programmed to desire.
She was not enough. Her body was faulty and could not give him the things he needed.
When he arrived back, she had tears in her eyes. She had fallen head over heels in love with him, mind, body and soul and this night would either make them or break them.
The tray of food looked delicious, but Hermione no longer felt like eating.
"Eat something" he said.
She picked at a sandwich but couldn't hide her emotions.
"Do you want children?" she asked.
"Well… I suppose, but…" he said.
"So you do want children, some day?" she asked.
"I want you" he said.
"But I can't give you children" she said.
"You have children"
"You know what I mean" she said, more abruptly than she intended.
"Fine. Yes, I want children. I would love to have a baby of my own. I'd love someone to continue the Malfoy name, to teach the things I learnt all on my own. To give all my money to when I'm gone" he said.
"And I can't give you that" she said.
"No, you can't" he said.
"So, that's it then?" she asked.
"What's it?" he asked.
"Us. I can't give you the things you need. I don't even know if I want another baby even if I could" she said.
"You give me everything. You're everything to me already" he said.
"I…" she began.
"Look, I told you tonight that I love you, and I mean that. I would love to have a baby, but I'm also realistic. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Everything happens the way it's supposed to. If we were meant to have a baby together then we would. We will" he said.
"I just… I don't want to be in our 50s and have you look back and resent me because I couldn't give you a child" she said.
"Why does it always have to be this way? Can we ever just have a nice evening? I told you. Yes, id like a child that is biologically my own, but if it doesn't happen, that's ok. Why does every event we have need to turn into a catastrophe?" he asked.
"I… I'm sorry, I just… I don't know" she said, feeling annoyed with herself. "I should go. I'll go" she added, getting off the bed and hastily putting her clothing on. She felt like getting dressed quickly was a new thing for her. First with Ron and now this.
She left the bedroom and collected her bag and her shoes from the living room. He hadn't followed her.
With tears spilling from her eyes and not a second glance at Draco, she turned on the spot and soon found herself arriving in her bedroom.
Hermione laid on her bed and allowed the foreign tears to spill. They flowed more heavily than they ever had. Her body betrayed her. She loved Draco and wanted him to have all the things that he wanted and for him to brush his desires off so easily, made her feel uneasy.
A person doesn't just stop wanting the things they have wanted forever. Draco had always been about family, regardless of it was the pureblood ways or not, even back in school, she knew that his desires were to have a son of his own to guide and mentor through life.
She laid on her bed and thought some more. She thought about the conversation they had before she left. He wasn't actually upset about the fact that she couldn't have a child. He was upset because, as usual, Hermione had turned what was a beautiful evening, into drama.
She wondered how she had become so emotionally immature. She was always so level-headed, so strong willed. She wasn't ever one to bring unnecessary drama to anything. She was the drama fixer, if anything.
How had her life become one drama after another? She felt like she had completely lost touch of her emotions, of her reactions, of her moods. She loved Draco, yet every time they were together, she found a way to jeopardise it.
She closed her eyes and begged sleep to come, but as hard as she tried, it evaded her.
She watched the clock, she counted sheep, she drank warm milk, but still, hours later, nothing.
She took her phone from where it had been in her handbag, at around 3 in the morning. There were a few texts from Ginny, thanking her for coming, asking where she went, telling her to be safe and to have a good night.
Hermione scrolled to the last text from Draco, which she had received that night. She tapped a new text.
H-D – Draco, I'm sorry. I know I mess everything up every time and I'm sorry. I just can't see a future for us if I can't give you what you need. I love you more than you could know but I'm giving you this opportunity to get out before its too late.
She hit send as fresh tears flowed down her face. She was giving up her chance at happiness so that he could have his. It wasn't long before she received a text back.
D-H – Noted. I appreciate the opportunity, but I decline. You are everything to me already.
Hermine smiled.
H-D – Are you sure?
D-H – Yes I'm sure. Now please come back.
Hermione didn't need to thing about it. She got dressed and picked up her bag, thinking about the best place to apparate to. She thought about going directly into the penthouse apartment but thought he might have wards up. As she was about to apparate to London's main street, she quickly realised that she was able to disapparate out, so shed give it a go at getting in. She thought hard about the bedroom she had left hours before, and turned on the spot.
She screwed her face up, fearing the worst, but she soon relaxed as she arrived in one piece.
Draco was in the bed, with the TV on.
"Couldn't sleep?" she asked, taking off her jeans and climbing into the bed beside him.
"No, I kept thinking about the stupid things I said" he said.
"You didn't say anything stupid, I did. I am the worst girlfriend ever. I worry about everything and dramatize everything. I'm like a teenager. My head is all over the place and I'm sorry" she said.
"Its not your fault. We're just find out how to be together, that's all. It will all work out, I promise. I've even thought about the baby thing…" he said.
"Let's not…" she said.
"Well, I'll just say this… If there comes a time when we think we should combine our DNA and make a baby, there are loads of options. Surrogacy, IVF, hormone injections… But I am happy with you. I love you Granger. And I'm certain that no matter what happens, I've struck gold just because you love me back" he said.
Hermione was happy with this. She kissed him, placing as much love as she could into her lips, while keeping them soft and sweet. His hands travelled down her body, giving her the goose-bumps she loved so much. She kissed him more deeply as his hands found her backside. He lifted her, pulling her to him, so she was straddling him, and she could feel him hard against her.
Hermione moved her hips so that he was pressing against her just the way she liked it and in reward, he let out a moan of pleasure. This is going to be easy she thought.
Earlier that night, their encounter had taken a long time, she had languished in every moment, felt every touch, every kiss. Now it had to be different. She would make it quick.
She removed her underwear quickly and clenched her muscles as she lowered herself onto him, eliciting more moans from him. She didn't pause to take in the moment, she moved her hips quickly, gaining momentum and developing a rhythm easily.
Within seconds, she found herself being flipped so she was no on her back and he had hold of her hips as her legs wrapped around him. She closed her eyes as he thrust into her and she relished in the feelings of his hands roughly gripping her flesh.
He let go and held onto the top of the bed frame while he continued pounding into her. It was rough and it was fast, but Hermione found the familiar heat rising in her lower abdomen quickly.
She felt him deeper inside her this way than before and as his body slammed against hers. She dug her nails into the skin on Draco's back as she saw stars and they both came together.
It had been quick, but intense and when Draco laid beside her, she kissed him sloppily on the lips and closed her eyes.
AN - working on another chapter today. Have been super busy with work.