Chapter #2: A Budgie in Mayhem (takes place in 1974 with 11 year old Gene Hunt and 5 year old Sam Tyler) around the line of "My budgie wouldn't agree with you!" in Life on Mars UK during 2.01 said by Gene's father to his long suffering Detective Inspector.
"French Bender Poof!" The parasite budgie squawked again and Sammy Tyler felt his ears itch at a swearing parrot; Gene's father had been tasked to babysit his son's mate for two days while Eugene was at school - he did that a lot since the new flat Big Sammy had gotten his relatives was closer to his own.
Tuesdays was the day Sammy Tyler and Gene Hunt played football in the park with Tommy Brixton from next door. Sammy Tyler curled up his nose in disgust, the budgie he'd quickly learned belonged to the tall man that looked like the Gene Genie, swooped down and pecked viciously at Georgie again. Big Sammy would be coming back soon and would rescue little Georgie Best the kitten from the parasite bird.
The boys watched with pride as his mate's cat Georgie had taken tentative swipes at the budgie every time it came near and soon the budgie had quit attempting it's aerial attacks.
The mischevious budgie had changed it's focus - dive bombing Big Sammy instead and using Big Sammy as his own personal litter box. For two days he had watched as the Guv's budgie had terrorized the Hunt family home as usual and now - finally - the little Gene Genie had his chance.
The door to the bathroom didn't shut properly so Georgie the cat wouldn't be trapped inside one room with the naughty budgie in the other. Roger Whittaker the budgie was in the corner still screeching abuse into the almost empty lounge room.
"Fairy! Poof! Tosser!" The budgie screamed and Gene decided that he'd never have a better chance to banish his Dad's foul mouthed budgie "Got you now birdie," as he put him back into the birdcage. "Now you're nicked for annoying Georgie Best!" the young eleven year old version of Gene Hunt laughed at the annoyed budgie having his cat antics halted. If he was lucky he'd even be home in time for his own afternoon snack with DI Sammy Tyler.
Sam forced himself through the door of his flat, mentally prepared to face a fresh night of torture from Roger Whittaker. Two more days, he reminded himself. The Guv would be back on Saturday. Today was Thursday. That meant only two more days of that horrible bird.
Then Sam saw what Little Gene Hunt and Sam Tyler got up to with Roger Whittaker the budgie, groaned. "I am so fucked," he muttered to himself. He knelt down towards the two boys firmly "You should never tease birds, they could peck you Eugene Hunt and Samuel Christopher Tyler." The two boys look down at the carpet taking in what the Detective Inspector had said. "Eugene, I am going to have a word with the Guv, your father about your behaviour with Roger Whittaker."
Little Sam Tyler got told severely by his mother "You mustn't play with your friend's policeman's budgie; it could have pecked or did it's business on you!" she scolded firmly.
Two weeks later
Sam adjusted the heavy cage in his arms as the lift stopped at CID. He hadn't realized how blasted heavy the damn thing would be. He was carrying Roger Whittaker's cage, he was lugging slowly into the squad room.
"Bit of a parenting advice for the Guv," Sam grimaced. "Make up for Gene and Sammy's bad behaviour today."
"Oh," Chris broke in. "You mean that whole thing where his little lad and Sammy were teasing the budgie while he was on a case?"
He maneuvered the awkward cage slowly to the Guv's door. He knocked gently and took a step back.
"Look," Sam shuffled his feet. "I wanted to do something. Something to make things right between us. An apology," he continued hurriedly. "For your Gene's and my Sammy Tyler's bad behaviour with Roger Whittaker. They were teasing him badly and chasing Roger around the house with Georgie the cat while you were on a case."
"Guv," the yellow budgie bird intoned. "Sheriff. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly."
"Right," said Stephen Hunt "Eugene, what has Daddy 'old yer about teasing Roger Whittaker?" He looked at the eleven year old sternly "Get your arse back in the Cortina, Eugene and stay there until Daddy has left CID!" The little Gene Genie looked forlorn at being grounded to the Cortina for the rest of today with no football. "Crims don't catch themselves Gladys."
"Back to work," Big Sammy tried to keep the enthusiasm out of his voice at the idea.
"You've been listening to Bolan songs? Sounds like a poof name to me." he muttered to himself. Looking back at the desk he adjusted his trousers and smiled."At least my budgie bird knows a fine piece of glam rock music when he sees it!"
And Big Sammy taught Roger Whittaker the budgie how to sing some Marc Bolan songs, now that is one super clever bird! The little Gene Genie had got himself grounded to the Ford Cortina as a punishment for the budgie's mayhem and for Sammy Tyler's part in the mischief!