CHAPTER 13
"It seems so strange to be on North Avenue Beach again after all these years," said Matt, watching Finn play in the sand just a couple of feet from where we were sitting.
"I know," I replied, "especially with Finn. This is where his Mommy and Daddy first met," I said with a smile on my face.
"Mac and Mel. It was love at first sight," said Matt, leaning over from his beach chair to kiss me.
"I still carry the engagement ring you made me when we were ten years old," I replied. "You're such a romantic," said Matt, smiling.
"As I recall, you got an ass whooping from your Dad for taking stuff out of his work truck to make that ring," I said.
"You're right, baby...I did. My ass still hurts," said Matt, giving me a wink.
"Remind me to kiss it later," I said, winking back at him. We enjoyed another lingering kiss until we were interrupted by the sound of Finn crying.
"What's wrong, big guy?" said Matt, picking him up. "Oh, okay...that's what's wrong. He needs a diaper change, Mommy," said Matt, sniffing Finn's bottom.
"Let me," I said, holding my arms out to take him. "It's hard enough to walk in this sand without broken ribs. You can have the next dozen diaper changes once we're home on flat surfaces."
"Deal, but now I gotta go myself. I'll be back in a bit," said Matt, handing me the diaper bag, then trudging off through the sand towards the restroom building. I quickly changed Finn's diaper, then gave him some juice in his favorite sippy cup and a handful of Goldfish crackers.
"Better now, bud?" I said, giving him a kiss on his head. I returned to my beach chair, lowered my sunglasses and stretched out, letting the sun's rays hit my face and legs. The intense warmth was perfectly balanced with the cool breeze coming off of Lake Michigan. Days like these were to be savored, especially with our work schedules being so crazy. Matt and I rarely got a day off together, so to be here on such a beautiful summer day with Finn was something to be treasured. I closed my eyes and dropped my head back and revelled in the perfect simplicity of the day.
"Hey, Cookie," I heard his deep voice reverberate from somewhere behind me. I lifted my sunglasses to see him standing a few feet behind my chair. His prosthetic leg was unmistakable from underneath the pair of green cargo shorts he was wearing.
"What are you doing here, Jackson?" I said, lifting my sunglasses and turning around in my chair. "It's nice to see you again too, Cook" he replied, with a sarcastic undertone.
"Sorry, but you took me by surprise. How did you know I would be here?"
"I called your office to talk to you, but they told me you weren't comin' in today, so I took it upon myself to do a little investingatin'," he said, with a sheepish grin.
"You followed us, didn't you?" I asked.
"Guilty as charged," he said, still grinning.
"So then you know Matt is with me, right? He'll be back any minute. If he sees you here...," I said, throwing a quick look at the area between us and the restroom building.
"Don't worry, Cook...I won't stay long. I don't want to ruin your family time. I just needed to know that you're still open to talkin' with me some more. The way you left the other day made me think you weren't gonna come back," he said.
"Of course I will, but I told you I needed a little time. Matt is on the mend, but he's not back to work yet and life's a little nuts right now," I said, continuing to glance over my shoulder. I had the distinct feeling that if Matt saw Jace standing here, there would be hell to pay.
"OK, Cook...fair enough. I only wanted to be sure I didn't scare you off the other day," he said.
"I don't scare that easily," I said, shading my eyes as I looked up at him. He had his long hair pulled up in a messy man bun and I was struck by how robust and healthy he looked. For having endured years of torture and losing his leg, he looked remarkabley fit.
"You never did, Cook," he said, smiling softly and looking directly into my eyes. Suddenly, the awkward silence that hung in the air between was cut by the sound of Finn's shrill scream.
"What's the matter there, pardner?" said Jace, carefully kneeling down in the sand beside him. Finn held up his sippy cup with both hands, showing Jace that it was empty. "More juice, huh pardner? You got it."
"Let me get that," I said, flipping open the cooler that sat between my chair and Matt's.
"I can manage, Cook," said Jace, taking the container of apple juice from me. "Besides, I never got the chance to be a father to Harper, so let me live vicariously for a minute or two." His words hit my chest like tiny daggers, ripping me apart inside. It occured to me that I was living the life that he and I never got to have together. He had lost so much more than I ever did. I watched him as he filled Finn's cup and dropped a few more crackers into the little fire truck shaped dish. Finn's big blue eyes grew wide as Jace handed him his drink. He grinned and giggled before putting the cup up to his mouth and taking a swallow. "Yeah, now you're happy, ain't ya, big guy?" said Jace, holding his upturned palm to Finn, who immediately put his sippy cup in it.
"He's sharing his juice with you. That's a pretty big deal for a toddler. They don't share anything," I said. Jace pretended to take a sip, then handed the cup back to Finn. For a fleeting moment, I thought I caught a glimpse of what kind of a father Jace would have been. I felt my eyes begin to tear up until Matt's voice sobered me up.
"What's going on here, Maddy? What's he doing here?" asked Matt, pointedly.
"He called my office to talk to me and since I wasn't there, he…" I said before Matt cut me off.
"Let me guess, he followed us," said Matt, sounding annoyed.
"Matt, please don't start..." I said, trying to defuse the situation before it erupted into something bigger.
"It's okay, Cook...I can handle this," said Jace, before directing his comments to Matt. He stood up slowly, struggling slightly to find his footing in the sand. Instinctively, I got up to help him. I grabbed his left arm, giving him as much support as I could manage and helped him get to his feet.
"Thanks, baby," he said, looking down at me with appreciation and a soft smile that made my insides shiver. He had looked at me this same way just before he kissed me the other day when we first spoke. "I'm sorry to have intruded on your family time, Matt, but Cookie and me...we still have a lot of talkin' to do yet. I hadn't heard from her in over a week and when her office told me she wasn't comin' in today, I took it upon myself to find her. I meant no harm." Jace extended his hand out to Matt, but Matt stood there as silent and unmoved as a sentinel guarding the gates of hell.
"Matthew, for God's sake," I said sternly, reproaching him for acting like a child. Matt reluctantly shook Jace's hand.
"So you'll be leaving now?" asked Matt, still firmly holding Jace's hand. Jace towered over Matt by at least five inches and I doubt he felt threatened by Matt's death grip.
"Yeah, I gotta get goin'. Can I expect to hear from you soon, Cook?" he said, looking directly into my eyes.
"Yeah, I'll give you a call when things have settled down. I promise," I said. Quite unexpectedly, he pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. I was sure I heard one of Matt's blood vessels pop. As he hugged me, Finn stood up and grabbed onto the hem of Jace's shorts, pulling and demanding equal attention. Jace bent over and picked him up.
"So long, pardner," he said, kissing the side of Finn's head. Without warning, Matt took him from Jace's arms, making Finn cry. Jace gave me one last glance before he left.
"Jesus, Matt...was that necessary?" I said, sounding perturbed and taking Finn from his arms. "You made him cry. Are you happy?" I said, trying to calm Finn down.
"Walker's the one that I wanted to make cry," said Matt, nodding his head in the direction that Jace had walked.
"That's mature, Matt. Why don't you challenge him to a fight on the playground at recess, while you're at it? What did Jace Walker ever do to you?"I asked.
"He married you before I could," he said, staring down at the ground.
"And how is that his fault, Matt? You were nowhere to be found from the time I went to college until I saw you at my mother's funeral nearly six years later!"
"Jesus, Maddy...whose side are you on?" asked Matt.
"Right now, I'm on whichever side that doesn't make Finn scream like a banshee," I said, rocking Finn slowly in my arms. Matt slumped down in his beach chair, rubbing his eyes and let out a few exasperated sighs. I managed to quiet Finn into falling asleep as I held him. I laid him down under the shade of the beach umbrella and covered him with a light blanket.
"Maybe he'll be less cranky after a short nap," I said,kneeling down in the sand next to Matt. "You may want to try it, too." I looked at Matt, hoping to see at least half a smile on his face, but he had the same stone cold look that he'd had since the day he found out Jackson Walker was still alive and was in Chicago.
"It was a joke, Matt," I said, taking his hand.
"I know, baby...I know," he said, bringing my hand up to his mouth and kissing the back of it. It was then that I realized that I couldn't put off talking to Jace any longer. The sooner we cleared the air, the sooner he would be going back to Texas and maybe then, the husband that I loved would make a reappearance.