Author's Note: Hello! First of all, thank you so much for reading this fic and for anyone who favorited, followed, or reviewed it. I cannot express how much these have meant to me, truly!
You're probably wondering, 'La, where the heck have you been with this story?!' I'm really sorry I haven't posted. To be honest, there were a couple of reasons as to why I haven't. One, I really wanted to finish posting 'This Vow I Make Thee' which is officially my first ever completed fanfiction.
Secondly, I'll be honest, I'm new to being an author. Now on this side of the fandom, I can completely see the difficulty of putting something you're working on out for the public to consume and critique. While everyone has been nothing but polite and super supportive about 'Raze and Burn', which I can't thank you enough for that honestly, I'm my own worst critic. I've been really struggling with the direction of this fic and the quality of work I'm producing for it in the chapters to come. My mindset has always been I'd rather put out something I'm proud of rather than post every single week because when I'm done with the fic all that will be left is that content for people to consume.
So, with that in mind, I don't think I can keep up the weekly posts for the time being and for that I'm really sorry. I'm working diligently to get this fic completely written before summer and to have a set number of chapters. That way people will know when to expect it to end and I can hopefully return back to the scheduled posting once more. Right now I'm at about 58 chapters but until I finish writing that number could change.
That being said, I'm also not going to drag this out forever because I'm sure you just want to read the story! I really want to do as I'm doing today and post multiple chapters at once. My tentative goal is to have 'Raze and Burn' completely posted by no later than the one year anniversary of it's original posting. I hope you'll understand and that doesn't turn you off from reading this WIP. If it does I completely get it and hope you will come back to read it when it's finished.
Whew, that was a lot, but I wanted to get this out there now because it's been weighing on me for weeks. Alright, onto the story!
Trigger warnings: There's swearing in this chapter. I don't know if these are trigger warnings but there is some parental discipline in this chapter and some psychological/emotional turmoil. The intended reading age is for 18 plus and as always reader discretion is advised.
I hope you enjoy!
Chapter Twenty
July 2013
Emilia couldn't take it anymore.
She felt absolutely fine this morning when she rose from her deep sleep. This had been the case for the last four mornings, her waking in an already relaxed state, rather than the agitated and exhausted condition she'd been experiencing previously. It seemed for some unknown reason her mind had finally been able to adapt to the dream memories' side effects, including the aches that came with them, even before she became fully conscious.
Rather than needing to go through the daily routine of focusing her rushing thoughts or encouraging herself to find tranquility, she'd instead begin by assessing the state of her mind. This was mostly to reassure herself that she didn't need to proceed with her morning meditations. Once she determined she was, in fact, calm and able to focus she'd immediately begin concentrating on what she could remember from the previous night, hoping to catch as many details as possible. The inky whispers of black hadn't changed much, still gathering large swaths of those scenes and perhaps more annoyingly, important details like the blasted name she was called, before it stealthily returned back into its hole of endless emptiness.
Sometimes she wondered where these dream memories would go to be stored in her mind while other times she swore that the swirls were delaying their retreat, as if teasing her to follow them with her thoughts which would inevitably lead to a piercing throb at her brow that would make her return to the safety of her internal calming practices. At least the wisps were consistently becoming thinner and slowly taking less with them, which she felt combined with her other successes, meant her health was on the up and up.
More importantly than her bettering state of being though was that, quite frankly, she was sick of being in her house, no matter how much she loved it.
The trip and subsequent return from Denver made Emilia hope Draco would be more lenient about her daily activities, given that she had no health issues during or on their travels to and fro from Denver. Not that he would remember the flight home, since he was oddly sleepy after drinking the tea she'd bought him from the coffee shop next to the airport pharmacy. She felt how she managed herself on the trip was proof enough that she should become more active in her daily doings as she so desired.
Instead, Draco seemed content to return to things as they were upon their return home. The only difference being that they added a glamour charm, which he'd cast on her body every morning to hide the scars she wasn't ready to acknowledge existed, let alone come to terms with their integral part of her physique from here on out. When she explained she felt well rested even with the increased amount of information she retained from the vivid dream memories, Draco still wanted to err on the side of overly cautious.
He reasoned that Dr. Chang had specifically said she shouldn't be doing anything too strenuous other than reading, light housework, or the paperwork from her office until they met with her in New York City. His rational being that it was imperative that she should avoid coaxing her body into a fit that could lead to another seizure, thus possibly delaying their trip further if she were too weakened to travel.
Normally, Emilia would agree with him and was very keen to follow Dr. Chang's care plan she'd tailored specifically for her.
But, in an uncharacteristically rebellious decision, Emilia resolved to step outside of her comfort zone.
Only for a little bit.
She'd woken early that morning when the sun had just begun to peak over the horizon. Hearing no sound outside her bedroom door, Emilia quietly began to change herself into the clothes she'd hidden beneath her bed the evening before. The rodeo was today and she'd be damned if she missed Larae's mutton busting run. Determined to dress quickly she slipped into the bejeweled boot cut jeans that she wore only for this very occasion. Along with her white camisole she threw on her single long sleeve western style blouse that was a warm red color decorated with pretty tan flowers, making sure to button the wrists lest the mark on her arm accidentally be exposed since she wouldn't have the glamour today. It was her hope she'd be on the road long before Draco even opened his eyes.
Motivated by the lack of time she felt she had, Emilia tied her honey brown curls back into a low ponytail as best she could before slipping on the only dark brown, wide brim western style hat she owned, courtesy of Danny the first Christmas she'd moved there. A belt laden with an obnoxious, red jasper stone slipped around her waist easily to complete her outfit aside from her wing decorated square toe boots which she picked up to carry.
Hoping she was being as sneaky as she thought she was, Emilia peeked out into the hall through a crack in the door. Not a single noise could be heard from Draco's closed bedroom. Slowly, with practiced foot steps, she descended down the stairs, skipping the steps knew creaked the loudest and that may alert her house guest to her being awake so early. After grabbing a banana off the kitchen counter and her keys, Emilia slipped silently out her front door. She knew she only had so much time once she closed the truck door before he'd appear and she prayed he couldn't apparate into moving vehicles. Taking a deep breath, she covertly ambled down the front steps to the side of her truck where she tugged on the boots.
With a sudden bolstering of courage Emilia counted down from three in her head and quickly opened the truck door, hopped in, and slammed it shut. Scrambling, she pushed the key into the ignition and turn it over. When the engine flared to life she didn't bother with her seat belt right away, choosing instead to reverse her truck rapidly before returning it to first gear and taking off, Draco still nowhere in sight in her rear view mirror as her house faded into a tiny, dirt clouded speck.
Being in the midst of a large crowded area had never felt more welcoming to her. Emilia smiled as she greeted clients and chatted with people she recognized enthusiastically, glad to be out and about after what felt like such a long amount of time of being isolated.
As usual, there was a great turn out for the rodeo. Riders, family, and fans from all over the state came to partake in the festivities. Food trucks formed a field wide half circle near the arena, offering an array of fair foods like cotton candy, blooming onions, and chislic. There were several carnival rides, including a ferris wheel, set up in another field for the youth to enjoy and parents to spend a ridiculous amount of cash on their kids to play the carnival games. Rows upon rows of horse trailers and toy haulers lined up along the opposite side of the arena's stands, a place where the participants of the competitions could prepare for their events.
When her name was called by a familiar voice, Emilia turned to see Ross Bussey's smiling weathered face waving as he stood next to Mona, Danny, and Larae by their own horse trailer. Larae was dressed up in her mutton busting gear complete with muddy boots, pink fringed chaps over dirty blue jeans, her protective vest, and a face guard helmet she held under her arm which she promptly dropped upon seeing Emilia approach, squealing in delight.
"I see someone has already been up and practicing." Emilia teased as Larae ran up to her and jumped into her wide open arms for a hug, swinging the little girl around in a circle playfully.
"Auntie Emilia, you made it! I knew you'd be here but you missed my practice run."
"Aw, I'm sorry sweetie, I came here as soon as I could."
The little spit fire grinned, revealing a front tooth she'd recently lost.
"That's ok. You should've seen me, I know my time has gotten better since last month. "
Emilia smiled fondly as she put the little girl back down on her feet.
"Well, sounds like you've been working on your grip like your father suggested," Emilia complimented as Mona walked up to her, face beaming in delight at seeing her.
The women gave each other a big hug before Mona stepped back and looked around.
"I didn't want to get Larae's hopes up so I told her you wouldn't make it. Where's Draco?" She asked.
Emilia picked at her nails, knowing what was coming when she looked up into her friend's face again.
"So...funny story...I gave him the slip to come down here."
Mona's arms folded across her chest, her stern mum look graced her trucker hat shaded face.
"I don't know whether to laugh or slap you. Emilia, I love the idea of you being here, you know I do. However, you're going through some health issues and it isn't safe for you to be driving anywhere alone. You should've called me, I would've come and got you if Draco refused to bring you."
Emilia waved her hand impatiently at her friend.
"Oh, he didn't refuse to bring me, I never told him I was coming here in the first place. I didn't want to argue with him about being around the crowd in this heat. I came to watch Larae and maybe a few rounds of the barrel races then I'll head back, I promise. I feel fine or I wouldn't have come today at all."
Mona sniffed at Emilia's weak argument, giving her the stare down.
"So you didn't tell him you were coming here because he'd try to say you shouldn't or because you didn't want to argue with him about going anyway?"
Emilia worried her lip a little, thinking carefully on how to respond.
"Both I guess?"
"And that doesn't bother you, Emilia? Give you pause as to why you don't want to tell him?"
Emilia sighed, feeling the lecture from Mona coming on in her very bones.
"Look, I know how it seems from the outside. Draco has done a wonderful job of taking care me, really. He's been very supportive and gone above and beyond what he should have to do so I can get better. We're just not seeing eye to eye right now on what he thinks I should do, which is follow Dr. Chang's orders to the tee, and what I want to do."
Right on cue Mona glared at her friend, hands shifting to her hips.
"That's what I'm talking about. I'm not saying Draco hasn't done a great job looking after you so far Ems, from a physical standpoint. Obviously he's doing something right if you made that trip to Denver without any problems. I'm just concerned he's focusing too much on your physical health and not your mental health which is just as important."
Emilia bristled at her friend's accusatory words.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Mona sighed, rubbing her forehead in frustration.
"Listen, I don't want to upset you and this will probably come out all wrong, but you've been gone for weeks. Nobody except Kaila, Danny, and I have heard a word from you. Your clients are asking after you because they're wondering if you're okay. I know you haven't been around because you're supposed to be resting and avoid anything mentally taxing but they don't know that. They just know someone they care for is ill and they can't go visit her. Being all alone with only Draco for company isn't good for you. You're too much of a social person to sit home all day. That and you need to be more active when you feel well enough to do the things you love doing.
"If you really want him to help you then you need to talk to him and tell him what you want. This,'' Mona gestured to the rodeo grounds around them, "is something you go to and volunteer for every year. They had to call in a favor from a veterinarian across the state to cover the time slot you usually have. You should've been able to volunteer this year if you felt up to it. You're doing yourself and him a disservice by not being honest with him, Ems."
Emilia felt herself shrink a little at her friend's admonishment. It wasn't as easy as Mona thought it was. She had no clue about the days Draco spent when they returned from Denver, walking along her acre with his wand pointed skyward, muttering phrases Emilia wasn't familiar with yet as little orbs of light shot into the sky before dripping down like spilt stars along an invisible wall.
"Protective wards," he explained as she walked next to him, "This will help hide your magic when it has those outbursts and keep any unwanted visitors from coming here."
It was the reason why she'd felt compelled to sneak out in the first place. Draco was doing everything he could to try to protect her and she worried he'd be upset if she wanted to be a little riskier.
"Look," her friend interrupted her train of thought, "all I'm saying is Draco isn't a doctor and Dr. Chang isn't here. Her suggestions for how to best take care of yourself are just that; suggestions. It's no different than when you offer your expert advice to your clients on how to care for their livestock but ultimately it's their choice on how they want to tend to them."
This was very true. She'd be lying if she didn't say it bothered her the few times her clients went against her professional opinion but in the end she had to accept whatever they decided. It never occurred to her that her situation was the exact same.
"In the long run," Mona continued, "whether Draco or Dr. Chang like it or not, it's your decision on how you want to care for yourself during all this. Yes, Dr. Chang has curtailed this care plan to what she thinks is best for you, but it isn't the only route to go about doing things. There are ways you can enjoy what you normally do while making sure you're being safe. It's important that you live your life Emilia, regardless of being sick."
Emilia frowned deeply at the motherly reprimanding.
"I suppose so."
Mona nodded sagely.
"I know so. One day, a long time from now, when you're old looking back on your life, are you going to think 'oh, thank god I stayed safe in my house and missed hanging out with family and friends because I might've had a seizure' or are you going to lament for not taking the risk and missing out on the things that bring fulfillment to your life? If you don't want to listen to me, just think about dad, and what he would say if he were here. He'd be furious to see you not speak your mind and stand up for yourself. Hell, he rode a horse two days before he died Ems because he wanted to. Do you remember what he told us before he left to go home for good? Live this life to its fullest, because your next one won't be the same."
Emilia looked thunderstruck at her friend's harsh realism. Mona was unquestionably right. Wasn't that why she came down here? Because she knew being at the rodeo and seeing the competitions with her friends would make her the happiest she'd felt in what seemed like forever? Earl would be heartbroken if he saw her clammed up and letting this illness and others dictate how she went about her days.
"You're right Mona, I should talk to Draco about my decision to deviate from the care plan. I'm sure he'll understand that I need more time out of the house and that I want to spend some of that time around others when I'm feeling up to it."
Mona eyed her suspiciously for a second then nodded once more.
"Good. I like Draco Ems, a lot surprisingly, but I worry he's kowtowing you unintentionally and you're letting him instead of standing up for yourself. You're usually such a stickler for rules and such but even I can tell you're happier in the short amount of time you've been here than you were the last time I stopped by your house. You're my sister and I want you to be happy even during the hard times. That's all I'll say on the matter."
Emilia hugged her friend, silently thankful yet again for the day she happened to meet Earl and Mona.
Danny joined the two women then and draped his arm over his wife's shoulders, greeting them cheerfully. Emilia's eyes sparkled mischievously when she saw his outfit for the big day. Mona kept her rodeo day outfit simple as always. Her ebony hair was pleated gracefully, she wore a pink trucker hat to protect her face, a white t-shirt from last year's rodeo state championship, her work boot cut jeans that were in decent shape, and square toed boots that had no holes in them. Very practical Mona.
Danny, like his daughter, always went all out for rodeo day. His waist length jet black hair was expertly braided beneath his cream colored wide brim cowboy hat. He was wearing a very loud western button up with some interesting geometric patterns in blues and greens. His blue jeans were pristinely pressed over his shiny snake skin squared toe boots. It was always a good day when she could goad him and his eccentric tastes in fashion wear.
"Danny, Clint Eastwood is missing his shirt. Have a heart and return it, sir."
He raised an eyebrow, his chin jutting down toward her bejeweled jeans.
"The nineties were twenty years ago, Ems. Wherever did you find a bedazzler for that fancy handiwork? Did my daughter help you design the pattern on your jeans?"
Emilia laughed, tipping her hat, conceding the verbal sparring match to him. Mona rolled her eyes at the pair of them.
"You two are ridiculous. It's like being a mom to three children."
Danny grinned playfully, kissing Mona's cheek before giving her backside a playful slap.
"Gotta keep you on your toes, babe. Besides, Ems started it."
Emilia laughed while Mona gave him a swift retaliatory kick in the arse. He cackled when she missed, calling back to them that he was off to join Ross so they could wander along the row of trailers. Many of their friends and acquaintances needed to be greeted still and the two men needed to catch up with the latest rancher gossip.
Emilia smiled as she watched her friend blow her husband a kiss who pretended to reach up and catch it above his head. Larae copied her mother and blew a kiss to her father who dramatically leaped in the air to catch it, causing the little girl to giggle, before he vanished into the crowd. A slight pang twinged in her chest at the public affection between the pair.
It usually never bothered her when Mona and Danny were outwardly doting to each other as they often were. However, she couldn't help but recall how before everything began Emilia and Draco had talked about coming here together. Now with their current predicament she felt disheartened that this wasn't what ended up happening nor were they really on the same page with regards to their relationship as they had been then.
A small part of her thoughts brought up something she'd think about every so often in the days and weeks since Draco's revelation about their possible past. Perhaps she was overreacting. It had occurred to her a few times that maybe she should reconsider those conditions she stipulated between them before they went to New York City and possibly open herself up to him again. As always, her logic swept in and slammed those musings to a halt.
She'd already let her guard down once around Draco and it backfired spectacularly. It was in her best interest to be patient. She needed to know more about this supposed other life she had lived first and foremost. As of right now she had no dream memories of them together that explained their previous relationship as being anything other than, from what she could recall, hostile colleagues. Still, she couldn't help but let that ache for affection brush over her once more and absentmindedly ponder if they ever did have a real relationship, as Draco claimed, would he have ever been this publicly affectionate to her.
"Come on, Ems. You're too thin, and nothing will cure that better than some delicious fried food." Mona declared, blissfully pulling Emilia out of her internal contemplations as she took Larae's hand and looped her arm through Emilia's, directing them toward the food trucks.
Mona insisted that Emilia buy something because a banana wasn't a meal, so she relented and allowed her motherly friend to purchase her a corn dog. After being very patient with the two women walking and chatting with other adults Larae declared she wanted to explore the carnival rides with her newly purchased large lemonade and mum only. Emilia, not offended in the least that Larae wanted some alone time, agreed to meet up with them in half an hour by Mona's trailer for Larae's competition.
All by herself now, Emilia quickly finished eating the corn dog and threw the stick away into a trash bin. She'd seen the Nielsens a few trailers down and decided she should visit with them and see how their calves were doing. No sooner had she taken a few steps in their direction when a hand shot out of nowhere from between two horse trailers and grabbed her wrist, yanking her sideways. She gasped, her heart pounded rapidly in alarm at the sudden change in her trajectory. A pair of hands appeared on her shoulders and pushed her back up against one of the trailer's warm metal sidings. Those mystery hands moved then to rest on either side of her head, encasing her with their owner's muscled arms and expansive body, whom she found had their wrath-filled grey eyes glaring down at her.
Draco looked coldly at her as her stomach dropped to her feet.
Oh shit.
They didn't speak for several long minutes, she assumed he was too furious to say anything and she didn't know what she would say to explain herself. Eventually she had to say something because the silence between them was extremely uncomfortable.
"How?"
He kept glowering at her as his jaw twitched.
"There's an apparition point close by."
Of course there was, god damn magic. The tension was thick between them which was making her shift in apprehension back and forth between her feet. Unsure of what else to do, Emilia tried to smile at him.
"Well, that explains how you got here so quickly."
Draco was not amused in the least by her attempt to lighten the mood and her lips fell quickly when he didn't respond right away. Instead, he moved slightly closer to her as he continued to speak in a low, dangerous tone.
"I thought I was hearing things when your truck started whilst I was in the middle of getting dressed. Imagine my surprise when I went to check on you only to find that your room was empty. Do you have any idea how fucking terrified I was? I thought someone managed to get in since we don't have wards on the house yet and used a spell to force you to leave to do whatever the hell they wanted. Luckily, I remembered this damn rodeo was today so I quickly dressed to check here first before I called in help to come find you."
Guilt seeped through her chest for a moment. So maybe it had been a terrible idea to just take off and not tell Draco that she'd left. However she thought of her conversation with Mona and became infuriated. She was a damn grown woman and she wasn't about to stop living her life, nor was she going to keep letting others choose what she did or didn't do. She stared irately up at him as she rationalized these feelings and decided to have it out with him now.
"I highly doubt Dr. Chang intended for me to be a prisoner in my own house, Draco. You know what? Even if she did, she's my doctor but her care plan guidelines for me are recommendations, not mandates. I'm sick, not invalid. For fuck's sake I flew to Denver and back with little to no problems, not even a single migraine flash. I want to have some of my life back now that I'm handling things much better.
"I need to be able to go ride horses, take long walks through the fields, go fishing and swimming in the river, or come to a damn rodeo because that's what makes me happy. Happiness does a lot for a person and their health, you know, and I think it'll do me more good than harm to leave the house even for a few hours every day. At least by coming here today I can say I lived exactly how I wanted to, saw my friends, ate some delicious fried ice cream, and had fun before I died of a fatal seizure!"
She was breathing heavily by the end of her tirade. Draco looked livid as he searched her face, processing everything she'd said. A minute later the look in his eyes started to soften. Eventually the fight had seeped out of his features before his shoulders sagged.
"You're right. You do have a right to live as much of your normal life as you can and you should. Being sick doesn't change that."
He shook his head a little before his dejected eyes focused on her again.
"You know those weren't my intentions by following Dr. Chang's care plan exactly as she laid it out, right? I can tell you're managing the dream memories better and they're not causing you as much pain, but if something happened to you again when it could've been prevented…"
Draco's voice trailed off, his emotions obviously waring with his conscience; wanting to protect her while giving her the freedom she desperately needed. So very like how he was in the dark cave with Herm-
No, she refused to even think about that. This wasn't about that person.
Emilia bit her lip before she grabbed a good amount of courage to say what she felt.
"There's no reward without risk, right? Isn't that what you did when you decided to come and see if you could find me? You didn't even know if I'd be here but you came anyway and it paid off, didn't it?"
His gaze searched hers thoroughly as he contemplated her words. After a few seconds he smirked.
"True, I did find you again and it was definitely worth the gamble."
"Well this," she gestured around her, "is my gamble that's worth it to me. I need to be myself and being here lets me do that."
Except you don't really know who you are, do you? That damn internal voice taunted her, making her physically flinch at its harsh words. Uninterested in entertaining a self philosophical monologue today, she stuffed the baiting question back down into the depths of her thoughts to be dealt with another time. Draco didn't seem to notice her tiny change in demeanor because his head was tilted back, sighing slightly with exhaustion before he looked back down into her face.
"My main concern is your safety being out in public. I'm pretty sure Alecto appeared at the Inn because your magic accidentally spiked when I scared you. There's no guarantee the people who sent her won't show up here if your magic signature fluctuates, Emilia. Not only that but we talked about what Director Fulhorn warned you about. If your magic lashes out in front of these muggles, MACUSA will deport you and I won't be able to stop them."
Emilia frowned as she considered his reasons. They did have a very serious discussion when they arrived home after Draco had slept off the flight. He was openly honest about the international laws for magical secrecy and how the consequences for accidentally revealing the magical world to her friends here would be dire at best. Still, at this point the risk was worth the consequences to her.
"Well, don't sneak up on me and I doubt it'll happen here. I feel fine, honestly. I haven't felt hardly any magic jitters or anything like that since the hair fiasco. I only want to watch the competitions and walk around to visit with people I miss dearly. Hardly anything emotionally taxing in that, right? If I feel the antsy magic build up I promise I'll tell you so we can leave. Please Draco?"
The binding was brushing against him along with her plea, encouraging him to agree with her from what she could feel. She watched Draco think over her words before he shook his head in resignation and he gave her an uncompromising look.
"Will you please be honest with me if you start to feel overwhelmed or if you feel even a twinge of a migraine coming on?"
She agreed readily, giddiness jumping across her skin, no doubt filling him with her feelings of elation. It must've been catchy because even he smiled a little.
"Also, from now on, you need to tell me when you leave. I was beside myself with worry."
She nodded her head, guilt riddled her voice.
"You're right, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking about how you would react...wait, did you say someone could make me leave with a spell?"
Draco nodded, his face suddenly cold and serious.
"It's called the imperius curse. It gives full control of an individual to the caster of the spell. It's illegal in Britain and here but people used it all the time during the war. I have no doubt if given the opportunity they would do the same thing to you now."
Emilia couldn't help but blanch at his description of the dark magic. What a terrifying thing to imagine happening and that people could, and would, do such a thing.
Thoroughly admonished, Emilia worried her bottom lip again, sure it would be chapped and swollen tomorrow with her constantly wetting it today and the sun exposure.
"Well, this time it was only me being selfish. Next time, I'll let you know where I'm going."
She was about to try once again to lift the weighty mood amidst them by making the same teasing remark Danny had made to Mona, that she had to keep Draco on his toes, until she glanced down, noticing neither of them had moved. Her back was flush against the metal wall of the bright orangish red horse trailer where he'd pressed her. Draco was still surrounding her with his body, making it practically impossible for her to not notice he hadn't been lying when he claimed he'd been in a hurry to find her. It seemed in his haste he was only able to throw on a simple white t-shirt along with his riding jeans and trainers. Jesus, he even had a five o'clock shadow along his jawline, the smattering of blonde hairs something she rarely saw with his preferred clean shaven face.
Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes absorbed all this information rapidly, realizing it was yet another variation of Draco she found to appreciate immensely. Was there anything this man could wear that didn't make him look instantly mouth-watering? It didn't help that they hadn't shared such a compromising position in, well, a while. Recalling the memory of the last time he'd been this close, reminding to herself of how it felt to be held tight against him before their kiss, was enough to make a creeping fever pool out from her stomach.
Draco seemed to notice this change then too because his eyes were no longer angry as they slid over her features inquisitively at her gradually flushing face. A sharp glint of recognition flickered across them when she glanced up and down between their bodies one too many times without saying anything. Apparently her silent admiration, which she knew was plain as day on her face, emboldened him to draw himself up taller and shift closer into her space, practically leaning over. He reached up with one hand to tip back her hat so he could stare deep into her wide, gold speckled brown eyes. Another slight smirk lifted the corner of his mouth as his eyebrow quirked playfully.
"Do you promise, Emilia?" He questioned huskily.
Oh, no. Nu-uh, none of this.
She gulped noisily and pressed her hands firmly on his chest, his damnable chiseled chest, in an attempt to put some space between them.
"Yes, I promise, Draco."
He didn't budge but chuckled at her pathetic effort to push him back. Rather than heed her silent request his hand drifted down from her hat and began to wrap one of his fingers around a ringlet that had sprung free of her ponytail, in an oddly playful, alluring manner.
"I like your outfit. It seems very appropriate for the venue."
She glanced down, realizing the top button of her blouse was undone and he could probably see down her shirt. Embarrassed, a huff passed her lips before she disentangled his finger from her hair with her closest hand.
"Yes, very appropriate, except for people who apparently don't know where to look. The material is lightweight and breathable. This weather is going to be ungodly hot today. You should've worn long sleeves."
By the look on his face, it was evident that the last thing he was remotely concerned about was what clothing he was or wasn't wearing.
"I'll be fine, I'm more worried about you and how red your face is turning. Are you getting hot, Emilia?"
Oh, he was a damn land siren incarnate.
"I'm fine, Draco, just a little you know," she tried to push on his chest again, "crowded. It's very warm and all."
He hummed in acknowledgment but still didn't move.
Placed so near to Draco's face she out of habit looked over his features more closely and noticed his brow was already starting to sweat from the beating morning sun. It was going to be near one hundred degrees Fahrenheit by noon which was going to make for a sweltering day out on the unshaded open rodeo grounds.
Ever mindful of others' needs, Emilia pulled her wide brim hat off her head and placed it on his. It didn't fit him well but it was better than his neck and face getting sunburned since she herself remembered to put sunscreen on before arriving. She looked him over quickly and had a thought of how ruggedly appealing it was, imagining him in a proper cowboy hat that fit him. She shifted uncomfortably under his insistent gaze.
"You should wear a hat today. We wouldn't want your pasty skin to get sunburned." She explained in a nervous, teasing voice, trying to ignore the building tension between them.
He hummed again in agreement, tilting the western styled hat back and adjusting it onto his head.
"How does it look on me?"
"Handsome." She blurted out.
See? Land siren. Damn her unfiltered mouth.
The cheshire cat grin that spread across Draco's face was dazzling as he found room to step a half step closer to her, their chests almost touching were it not for her hands separating them. Her heart was racing like crazy from the combined heat they were generating between them. It had been weeks since he'd kissed her and with all the rampant thoughts she'd had of this man so far today, she suddenly had this bizarre desire deep within, so very similar to that soulful feeling that had washed her in agony before her seizure, that she wanted, no, needed Draco to kiss her.
Her brain started to chatter loud warnings in her head. That would be a horrible mistake. She was supposed to keep her distance with Draco until they figured things out with Dr. Chang. If she let him kiss her and it turned out he was an incredibly convincing liar she was setting herself up for heartache later. Why would she want to put herself through that?
The stupid binding wasn't helping either with its sudden throbbing and unbearably desirous flame racing through her whole body, physically luring her into complacency like it wanted to answer the song he was calling her to him with. His fingers she'd batted away found their way through her restrained hair to settle around the back of her head as his eyes stared searingly into hers, no doubt betraying her mind's thoughts of begging him to kiss her like he had once before.
"Well, thank you for the compliment. You always look breathtaking, Emilia."
Her heart sped up at the flirty compliment. How could a simple sentence make her feel so light headed yet completely aware of every inch of her body all at once? He was leaning in so close that she could smell how incredibly intoxicating his cologne was. A heady minty smell that was familiar but she couldn't place as to why.
"This is a bad idea, Draco. Friends don't do this." She pleaded in a last ditch effort, hoping that perhaps he had the willpower to end this since she apparently wasn't capable to.
He paused for a brief moment, his eyes with blown wide pupils flickered with his own desirous thoughts, held her gaze firmly.
"Emilia, all you have to do is say stop and I will." He challenged.
His lips are almost on hers and when they were only less than an inch apart her traitorous body answered his lure by leaning up to meet him, ignoring her mind's begging to please say stop because this was-
Interrupted. By a loud, slurping noise that cut through the burning tension between them.
Emilia's lips had faintly settled against his, the innocent touch of skin igniting such an electrifying shock of passion which instantly flooded her entire being from the tip of her head to her boot clad toes. The sudden intruding noise though made her eyes jump wide open to see his own startled gaze. They both pulled their faces away from each other and turned their heads toward the source of the disruption. Unfortunately, a six year old with big brown eyes had her mouth wrapped around a straw she drank noisily from as she stood at the opening between the trailers, darting her saucer-size gander between them.
"Larae! What're you doing here?" Emilia hissed, firmly pushing on Draco's chest to give her the space she'd been seeking before. He begrudgingly complied with a few steps backwards, dropping his hands to his hips and tucking his chin down with a loud puff of well deserved frustration. Emilia ignored him and briskly walked over to the little girl.
"Where's your mum? Are you hiding from her again?" Emilia asked rapidly, rather upset the girl had witnessed something that shouldn't have happened at all but more importantly that Larae was wandering around alone at a very busy rodeo.
"I dunno where mama went to. She always tells me I should find a grown up I know if I can't find her. Is he your beau again Auntie Emilia, now that you kissed him?" The little girl asked, eyeing Draco indecisively.
Emilia's mouth dropped open in horror as she turned bright red in embarrassment.
"I-Well sweetie, Draco is a good friend of mine and he's helping me while I'm sick, remember?"
Larae looked rather displeased at her answer. Without warning, she took off around Emila and ran over to Draco whose hand she tugged hard on a few times. He looked with perplexity at Emilia, like he didn't know how to react after being caught, before looking down at the insistent child.
"What is it, Larae? Should we go find your mum with Emilia?"
The girl shook her head, took another gulp of her drink, and motioned for him to lean down closer.
"I have to tell you another secret."
He complied indulgently and Emilia could hear the little girl rapidly talking into his ear.
"-the lip sparks aren't for friends-"
Emilia was startled at this whispered secret. What lip sparks?
"Larae Constance McLaughlin!" A voice boomed out over the open ground, causing all three of them to jump and turn.
Mona was storming toward them like a charging bull through the crowd, her blazing eyes focused on her daughter followed by Danny who looked more worried than upset, unlike his wife. Emilia stepped back as her friend passed her without a glance and knelt before her daughter, throwing her arms around her baby's body tightly. When Mona pulled back she grabbed her shoulders firmly.
"Larae, I should take you straight home right now and not let you participate in the competition! What were you thinking, wandering off like that? You cannot do that! This is a busy place with lots of strangers walking around. I was worried sick about you!"
Larae's eyes watered at her mother's harsh admonishment.
"I wanted to pet the calves at the four H tent and when I turned around to go back you were gone. I'm sorry mama."
Danny intervened then, picking up his daughter and rubbing her back soothingly as she cried pitifully from the sound chastising.
"Hey sweetie, it's okay. We were scared you had gotten lost when we couldn't find you. Mama's not mad so there's no need to cry. We're just glad you're safe."
Mona stood, having a silent conversation with husband through their eyes before she huffed out a short breath in resignation and pet her daughter's hair comfortingly.
"Your dad's right Larae, I'm not mad at you, I got very scared when I couldn't find you. Next time ask me first before you run off to do something so I can go with you, okay?"
The little girl nodded against her father's shoulder.
Emilia moved to stand next to Draco, watching the exchange from beside him, feeling another rush of shame at the familiar scene and feelings that had played out between them only minutes before. Perhaps Draco recognized this fact because he leaned over to elbow her lightly in the side, giving her a pointed look. Emilia muttered quietly that she already apologized for her mistake which made Mona glance up at her then take notice of Draco's presence, frowning at him.
"Hello Draco, Emilia says she snuck out of the house this morning and you didn't even notice. You're not very observant, are you?"
Draco seemed confused by Mona's confrontational tone but kept himself relaxed as he answered her friend's provoking question.
"Good morning, Mona. I'm actually very observant but when she sneaks off in my sleep it's hard to notice that she's gone."
Mona's brows narrowed at him, the same not impressed look from when they met originally clouded her shaded face.
"Why do you think she did that? Could it be that perhaps she feels like she has to slink out of her own house because you won't give her room to breathe?"
Emilia gave her friend the 'don't do this right now' look but she could see Mona was dead set to have her opinion be known.
Her friend approached him then, standing tall to almost match his height with her hands settled on her hips in the no nonsense matter Emilia knew she took with anyone she was aiming to challenge.
"I'm grateful you're watching over my sister, but your job isn't to just keep her safely cooped up in her house like a fragile egg about to break. You should be focusing on more than just her medical needs, Draco. She needs to be around other people who care about her well being and doing things that give her purpose, especially when she's healthy enough to do something. I don't want to have to do this, but if you don't start making some changes to her care plan with or without Dr. Chang's approval, I'll have no choice but to call her and tell her Emilia's going to stay with us."
Emilia could see Draco's entire frame stiffen at the accusations and threat. Mona's eyes told them she wasn't bluffing in the slightest. After the pair stared each other down for a few uncomfortable seconds Emilia felt the need to intervene before one of them opened their mouth to make the situation worse. Tugging on her friend's arm, she turned Mona so her friend's fierce ocher glare met her own pleading face.
"Mona, this isn't the time or place for this, especially in front of Larae and when we're in public. I already told you I'd talk to him and I have," She gave her friend a firm glare of her own, "so let's not do this here, please?"
Mona glanced from Emilia's face to the tall man behind her, the debate evident in her eyes as she contemplated her next move. Eventually her friend nodded.
"Fine, I said what I needed to say anyway."
The silence amongst them was painfully tense before Danny stepped up next to Draco, still cuddling his sniffling daughter close.
"Hey, it's probably time to get Larae to the arena so she can start getting ready for her run."
At his observation his daughter's little whimpers immediately ceased and she squirmed out of his arms with a delighted squeal.
"Yes! Let's go, auntie Emilia!"
She grabbed Emilia's hand, effectively breaking the tense situation between the adults, as the excited six year old led them away from the trailers toward the arena. Danny greeted Draco kindly when the group began to move, asking how he'd been doing since they last saw each other at the hospital and how that awful flight to Denver went.
Draco found kindredship for a few minutes with the cowboy who it turned out also despised planes, mostly because his very expensive hats tended to get crushed in the overhead compartment and the ridiculously small seats people were made to sit in. Danny made a joking comment about Draco wearing Emilia's hat that clashed with his clothes and the fact he wore the shirt he selected on a blistering summer day like today. Draco shrugged, unconcerned if the hat matched or not nor that he only wore short sleeves. Danny, explaining to Draco that he really enjoyed exploring western fashion, wouldn't hear of it.
He deviated from the group to their truck and grabbed one of his extra light tan wide brim hats and a white and light blue plaid cotton button up. He handed them over to Draco and tossed Emilia her hat back, telling her it looked better on her anyway with a wink. Emilia watched Draco put the much better fitting cowboy hat on his head and slip on the lightweight protective shirt. Hmm, he looked even more handsome and somehow quite rustic, if that was possible. If only he didn't dislike the square toe boots, she silently lamented.