A/N you know I was thinking this could go on a little longer but I figured it's best not to keep you all waiting in the dark. Now the story of how Church made his way home.

[Red vs Blue Twisted episode]

Church and SharkFace fell face first in a pile of dirt as they began their puking process after falling through the teleporter. Church was the first to recover when he saw where he was crouching. He saw two bases one with red markings on it and the other with blue markings on it, both on opposite sides of a canyon. One side was a canyon while the other side the ocean.

Church realized where they were at and began sobbing, "Nooooooo, Nooooooo, no o o! Why God, why must I go through this shit again? Whyyyyy hy hy hy!?"

SharkFace was confused where they were at this time, "What is this place? A half boxed canyon. What's so bad about?"

"You're right, I just need to relax... "

Suddenly a voice popped up from behind him, "Church, sir, I just wanted to say the general stopped by and picked up the flag, I think she likes me. "

"GODDAMMIT CABOOSE! Wait, what did he say?"

SharkFace was still confused, "He said some lady picked up their flag."

"Follow me, " Church jogged to the middle of a field in the canyon as he looked at the canyon. "Alright then, canyon is in shape, Caboose is Caboose, everything seems to be fine. Damn where do I remember this place from? "

Church and SharkFace were too distracted to not notice a red armored figure approaching them from the back. A loud click of a shotgun was heard followed by a feminine voice, "Freeze dirt bags."

Church snapped his fingers as it came to him, "Now I remember this place! And shit!" Church saw the female version of Sarge from his trip to the A.I storage unit. "Hey Sarge, don't mind me and my partner, we're just here to see if another woman came by, by any chance does she wear black armor?"

"Hey who's asking the question here? I am, now get moving."

Church and SharkFace both shared a look saying let's not waste any time, "Well we would love to stay and chat but we got to go. "

"Alright then, we're doing this the hard way." Church and SharkFace found themselves suddenly unconscious as female Sarge smacked the shotgun in the back of their heads.

When they both woke up they'll were on a hardwood floor in what looked like a mansion in some rich prick's palace. "God damn it. Why? "

"Sargeant, the prisoners are awake. "Church remembered the female version of Simmons as she notified the female Sarge.

"Oh god, " Church muttered, "please end me. SharkFace, you there? "

SharkFace woke up at the sound of his name. "Yeah, where are we? "

"Another shitty ass dimension. Let's go. " He motioned his hand as SharkFace followed, the female version of Sarge aimed her shotgun at them.

"Hold it right there dirt bags, you're not going anywhere. " Church stopped and let out a deep sigh.

"Sorry ma'am but you don't want to get involved with us in anyway possible. So I'm asking nicely let us go. Or else."

"Heh, am I supposed to say, or else what?" Church shook his head.

"Nope, but you don't want to make him mad. " Church said gesturing his thumb to SharkFace as he bashed his head against a wooden wall to show he means business. The female Sarge said nothing as the two made their way outside walked to the front of the base to see Tex.

They shared one look with each other as Church knew what to say in unison, "get her. " They rushed the woman who had instantly took off in a different direction. SharkFace pulled out his rifle as he shot her calf making her trip, giving the two the chance to hop on top of her. As they dog piled her she teleported with them to another unknown realm of horror.

[Red vs Blue: Caboose's mind]

They fell through the floor as they landed into a strange world where they saw the Reds and Blues and some friends from Remnant. Church was instantly surprised as he was the first one up from the floor with the hope he was finally home. "Guys is that you? I am so happy to see you. " Church turned to see Caboose, "Caboose I'm even happy to see you. "

As he was about to go in for a hug someone stepped in front of him wearing his armor. "Hey back off buddy, Caboose is my best friend! "

Church was confused, "Excuse me, who the fuck are you? "

"I'm Church, asshole. "

"No I'm Church, wait a minute." Church remembered a situation similar to the one he was in. "No no no no no no no no no no. " He went up to a Sarge and asked him a question. "Sarge, is that you? "

The Sargeant coughed a little as he made a pirate accent, "Yargggh, tis be the mind of Caboose. "

Church looked up in the sky as he was now in his worst nightmare. "Nooooooooo, this is worse than hell, this is a nightmare. Nooooooooo! "

SharkFace looked around calmly, "Wait. Caboose is the blue idiot right? "

Church was still in a corner crying out loud as he answered, "Yeah, "

"Seems a lot bigger than I expected. "

"Sigh, let's just find Tex. "

"Isn't that Tex. " He said pointing to ledge where Tex was sneaking.

"It is! Get her. " Church shouted as they both charged at here's once more. As they landed right on top of her Church grabbed her arm as SharkFace grabbed the other one. They were teleported once again to a different location.

[this next bit I stole from Vanossgaming : go home, go bed. Thought it would be funny I recommend watching the first bit of the video so you can have an idea of what's happening in this one]

Church and SharkFace fell through another rift and Church had had enough, "I'm absolutely sick and tired of this shit gonna go home go to Ruby. Come on SharkFace, "

They traveled through a town looking for Tex for her teleporter as Church kept on ranting about how he was done. "I'm done with this, ain't never coming back either, this is shit is bullshit man. "

At one point they were on top of a skyscraper, "I feel like I should really start looking at where I'm going, we've been walking for like an hour. " Suddenly they were on the ground as he paused by a goomba, "Goomba, fuck you goomba. " He stopped for a second to relieve some stress, "No, seriously fuck you goomba, " Church unloaded a full six bullets from his revolver into the goomba.

They were now in a random motel room with a strange man, "Yeah this doesn't look like Remnant, pretty sure Tex isn't a fat guy on a sofa, I'm pretty sure she doesn't own a parakeet. " a parakeet in a cage chirped as he said that.

He was now in a huge dark room, "Not sure this is the place, I'm pretty sure this is a prison I saw 2 fate guys peeing in a bucket. This room is fucking humongous. "

Then somehow they made it to Egypt, "pretty sure we're not in the same country anymore, the last house I checked was a pyramid. "

Then a Rooster Teeth convention, "The fuck is this? "

Then a sewer, "We're in the sewer aren't we? That was a floating piece of shit. That's disgusting. "

Coming out of the ocean, "Okay how the fuck did we cross the Pacific Ocean? "

In the forest like jungle, "Wow in all my life I never thought I'd see an elephant chasing a reindeer. "

In the savanna, "pretty sure we've been here before I saw that dog's three times. " said Church as he passed by three lioness.

In a movie theater, "pretty sure we're in a movie theater, "

Someone in the audience tried to quiet Church, "shh "

SharkFace responded for Church as he ignited the man in to flames as he swiped them man's popcorn away, "Yeah, definitely the movies, popcorn is really buttery. "

On the moon, "and now we're on the moon. There's a German flag over there. "

Hoggwart's School, "Now we're in Hoggwart's"

SharkFace couldn't resist his pyrotechnic desires as he torched a kid who looked like Harry Potter, "You're a f*ggot Harry, "

Minecraft dimension, Church was bored from all the dimension and was close to giving up. "Okay, why is the sun shaped like a fucking square. "

Five more painful mind numbing dimensions later, "Alright I'm done. I'm giving up. "

SharkFace saw something in the corners of his eye. "Hey Church what about that door, "

Church looked at a door that looked like it was okay today try. "Might as well. This better be..." He suddenly stopped mid sentence as he saw (voices of Church and SharkFace in Red vs Blue) Burnie Burns and David Jennison in a Rooster Teeth office. As both peeked through the door there was an awkward silence between the four of them as Church and SharkFace backed up out of the door frame. "Well, that happened."

"Let us never speak of this again. "

"Agreed."

Church and SharkFace shook each other's hand securing the deal, but as they shook hands they were both tackled by Tex once more. Falling through a teleporter as they landed face first into a pile of snow.

SharkFace looked up to see where they were as they were being piled by light snowflakes, "Where are we? "

Church looked up and to his surprise he remembered this place from so long ago, "Where this all started: Sidewinder, the ice planet. " Church saw Tex in the distance standing alone, so did SharkFace as he was the first one to make a step forward. Church put his hand out in front of him to stop him, SharkFace looked at him confused as Church shook his head. He spoke in a tone of sorrow, "This is something I got to do alone, and trust me, things are about to get a little...personal."

Church walked up to Texas through the snow as he was confused why here of all the places she'd send them, "So, why did you bring us here?" She remained silent as he stayed in his spot. He was beginning to get frustrated about her not answering, "Why, why come back to me? Was it just to see me in pain?" Church started to bring up his memories as she looked over her shoulder to him, "Because the only times that we ever hung out was when you always beat the shit out of me. You're a bitch to me and my friends, we've been through hell and back together, me and them. We fought together, ate together, bled together, and yet you still think of us as idiots and retards. Hell, I've spent my whole life, and even after I died trying to please you and make you feel what I felt for you, but you took it for granted. I finally found a place where I belonged, a place I can call home, a place where I'm appreciated by my friends and yet you think I'm the asshole I was all those years ago." The robotic skin covered version of Tex began walking towards him, fist clenched tightly. Church still had more to say, "And if you think I'm going to stop and lay down and die, then you're still as dumb as you were when you thought we could be together." Church remained still as she was just mere feet from him. "I'm not stopping, not until I see Ruby at least one more time. So I'm done chasing you. "

Church began walking away in the other direction until SharkFace yelled at him trying to warn him, "Church, LOOK OUT!"

Church whipped around to see his Tex within punching distance from him charging forward, just as he was about to strike she wrapped her arms around his neck, not like threatening choke but more of a hug. He was confused as to why she suddenly changed, "What?"

After a few moments of silence she spoke in a choked up voice, "I'm sorry, I didn't think of what you wanted and now I see you moved forward." SharkFace was getting behind Church in case its was some trick. She said pushed him back to reach in her chest to pull out a strange blue glowing device, Church saw what it was and was immediately surprised, "That's not only a teleporter, it's what powering me, so I won't have long. If you truly love her, go to her, tell her." She began twitching from the malfunction she'd was having as she was falling to the ground, "Go."

Church and SharkFace were then surrounded by an illuminating blue light as they were then surrounding by a forest. SharkFace broke the silence between them, "Are we home now?"

Church simply cocked his head at the device, "I don't know, we'll know when we see a gr..." all of a sudden a beowolf lept from the bushes lunging at Church as SharkFace engulfed it in flames. Church saw the creature and began smiling, "We're here, we're home." Church was about to celebrate when he remembered a deal the two had, "Well, we still doing that fight."

SharkFace saw how messed up Church looked any began to stay silent for a while, he smiled and walked in the opposite direction, "I'll come back when you're better armed and well rested. Til next time. "

Church instantly remembered he had the device in his hand as he turned back to SharkFace, "Hey buddy, " He tossed the glowing teleporter to him as SharkFace looked at him with curiosity, "keep it, go make new friends or in your case enemies. " SharkFace smiled at the device as he pushed a button with a thumb as he waived goodbye. Church let out out a relieved breathe as he checked his gun, holstered it any rubbed his hands together as he walked out to the nearest road, don't worry Rubes I'm coming for you."

And with that Church walked off to the sunset.

End of Chapter

A/N Now that I have concluded the Teleporting Troubles volume I will begin finishing the Tf2 crossover story. As well as begin the chapters of what happened while Church was gone starting from YBWR instead of RWBY.