.
.
.
It was already past six when I got back home, I shook my head weakly, and threw my bass onto the carpet after removing it from my shoulders. I sank myself into the sofa.
So Weiss had been waiting for me. She should have gone to the hospital today, but just because of the things that I said yesterday, the me who knew nothing but said idiotic things like 'Let's have a showdown on Friday'. Because of that, she had been waiting, she was waiting for me.
Why did she not tell me anything about it? The dense me knew nothing at all, and I had even acted like a kid by insisting on challenging Weiss to guitar showdown. I forced her to stay back, but in the end I had actually harmed her unknowingly.
Why do we always fail in successfully converting the feelings within us into words?
November arrived. Weiss had really disappeared — she will no longer come to school.
All of my classmates were discussing something: something seemed to have happened on the Friday before the break. My classmates had always ignored what others say, and they cared nothing about the mood of others either — but just this once, they didn't ask me anything.
"Because Naruto looks really depressed…" Karin said that to me softly during lunch break.
"Depressed? No?" I wove a lie.
"I even went to ask Hiratsuka Sensei about it."
"It seems like Weiss's father wants to go back to France. I think there are specialists there, so it will be more convenient for them to checkup on her or to go for an operation… I am not too sure about the details as well, but it seems like Weiss will be going along as well."
"… Really."
So that's what she meant by 'I'll be disappearing in November'? Which means, Weiss will never come back again? So that's why she wanted us to forget everything…
Therefore I no longer had a chance to apologize to her, nor do I have the chance to smile at her. I can no longer make her angry or scare her with the image of a zombie, and it's even more impossible for me to ask her to help tune my bass anymore.
If I knew right from the start that she will really be disappearing — if I knew what she said will turn out to be true — then I would have just forgotten all about her, and that will be it. According to Chiaki, Kagurazaka Senpai has not been to school for some reason as well. Did that person also feel responsible for what happened to Weiss? That can't be!
"Will she be coming back after her checkup…" Karin mumbled.
I began to feel that nothing matters anymore. I'm the one who wreaked everything and misunderstood her totally. I had always thought that Weiss would tell me something special, but in reality there exists a wall between us which is way thicker than that of the door of the practice classroom, to the point where no sounds can pass through. I could not help but feel how wonderful music is — despite us being so far away from each other, just by playing whatever was written on the scores, I had the hallucination that Weiss was right next to me. What a wonderful power that is! Disappear from my sight right now.
When I returned home, I took the bass to the recycling center and dumped it there. It seemed like a connection was wreaked somewhere when Weiss slammed the bass on the floor, and it could no longer play any sound.
I turned the knobs to their maximum, and had even tried to dismantle and reassemble them again, but none of that worked. It is possible for me to repair that with my skills, but I was honestly not in the mood to do that. Even upon seeing that scene, Mom did not crack jokes like 'As expected of my son, you've given up really quickly' or 'Just be a virgin for life', and had even prepared my favorite food at dinner. I can always say pointless things like these easily, but I just can't voice out the important feelings within me.
After dinner, I sat right opposite of Mom who was working on her article, and hugged my knees. I could hear the speakers playing the Hungarian Dances softly next to my ears.
"… Mom, have you heard?"
"Hmm? Ah, yes." Mom replied without lifting her gaze away from the laptop, "I heard something from a paparazzi who claims to be the hear-it-all in the music circle. You want to know about it?"
"Is it about… Weiss illness?"
"So you do know!"
"… But I knew nothing!"
I realized everything only when nothing could be salvaged anymore.
Mom pushed the laptop to the side. She then looked at me and said.
"It was probably last year? She suddenly fainted just before she was about to start her concert in England. The concert was canceled, and they went to quite a few hospitals, but they couldn't find out the reason behind it."
I remembered the frightened look in Weiss's eyes, and I suddenly thought, could that be related to her father?
"That's the reason why she come to Japan. It's thought that a brief break from piano and some rehabilitation could perhaps be the key to her recovery. But things don't seem to be that optimistic, do they! Her condition is getting worse and worse, and she had to go to the doctors for frequent checkups."
I could feel a sense of pain near my heart. So that's what Weiss was so desperately trying to hide. She chased away any classmates who tried getting close to her, and was unwilling to approach anyone either; she was pretty successful in being someone who's really annoying. Moreover, all those who tried to get close to her are idiots, so no one had noticed that there was something wrong with her.
Could we really do nothing about that? I really hoped someone would tell me 'It's all your fault!' or 'It's actually not your fault' straight to my face without any hesitation. However, upon hearing me say that, Mom scold me, "How the hell would I know? Think about it yourself Naruto!" All I could do is hug my head in desperation.
After returning to my room on the second floor, I squeezed right into my bed without even changing into my pajamas. I closed my eyes, and planned to forget everything, just as Weiss had requested. That should be easily done. I have absolute confidence in my poor memory, and within months, I will definitely forget that a person named Weiss had ever existed, and I won't do anything that had to do with the bass and music anymore.
(◕ω◕✿)
It's Sunday I was in my room reading magazine.
Dad got call from the police station, Mom was summoned by the publisher,and Naruko went out with Rias and Kuroneko since this morning. So there's no one at home.
I hear the sound of the windows being knocked on by someone behind. I naturally thought it was Chiaki, because there's no one else who'd be doing things like that. It's late into the night already, so what does she want? However, I was stunned as I saw a pair of ice-blue eyes after pulling open the curtains and the window.
The person who was standing on the roof that was extending outwards and opposite of the window was actually Weiss. It is indeed her. Her snow colored hair were blown up by the strong winds, and they were tangled with the guitar case she had on her back.
"You…" I wanted to say something, but I could not say anything out successfully.
"Can I come in?"
Weiss said that expressionlessly as she removed the guitar from her shoulder and passed it to me.
"Eh… ah, mmm, okay."
My mind was in a mess, but I still took the guitar case and leaned it against the wall. Despite me being in shock, I remembered offering Weiss a hand and pulling her in after she had removed her shoes and had climbed in through the window. She was wearing the fluttering blue dress which she wore when we first met… though it seemed difficult to move about in it.
I still could not believe it. Is this the continuation of some sort of dream somewhere?
"What?" Weiss noticed me staring at her, and thus she turned her head and said softly.
"I've heard Aihara talking about it in school, about how she can enter and exit your room freely through the window by climbing up the tree. I somehow feel… a little envious, and so I thought I should try it."
Even so… "Why…" are you appearing at a place like this? That was a simple question aimed straight at the crux of the matter, but I somehow could not bring myself to ask it. Perhaps it's because I thought she would disappear the moment I asked it out loud?
In the end, what I said was this, "How do you know where my house is?"
Weiss stared at me for a long while, before walking to her guitar case. She took out something from within and passed it to me.
"… John Lennon?"
It was a CD-the Rock 'n' Roll album which I listened to on the roof that day. Weiss opened up the CD case nimbly with her left hand. There was a piece of folded paper on top of the shining silver disk. Upon opening it, I could see a map so well drawn, I almost did not notice it was done by hand. It had precisely listed out the landmarks near my house in detail. What the hell is that…
"'That person' had instructed me to stay at home and to not go anywhere." Weiss said.
That person? She should be referring to her father.
"And so before I went to the hospital, I could not get out of the house. Just as I was about to head home after the checkup, the CD somehow appeared in my bag without me knowing it."
I looked at Weiss's face half in confusion. She tilted her head in response.
"Isn't it you? Who stalked me to the hospital, and then placed this…"
"Who will do that sort of stupid…"
I swallowed my words while I was halfway into the sentence. There is someone who would do that sort of stupid things, someone who would do things in a roundabout manner without hesitation even though she had no idea if it would succeed, and will not bat an eyelid even if she wasted half her day and a huge amount of effort into doing so…
"It's Kagurazaka Senpai…"
So that's what she was doing when she skipped school… speaking of which, what exactly is she planning? Is there something which she wants Weiss to do, for her to tell Weiss the location of my house?
"You mean that Senpai who has really long hair, eyes like a panther's, and always says all sort of strange things?"
That's what Weiss said. I see, so it's not like Weiss had no idea who Kagurazaka Senpai is, huh?
"Mmm… should be."
"About that Senpai, I've always…" Just as Weiss started to speak, she noticed my gaze and flinched in shock. She turned her head away and shook it fervently, "No, nothing."
Weiss walked back to my bed and sat on it, resulting in me being in a situation where I could neither get close to my bed nor run out of the room — all I could do is to lean myself next to the window. Weiss's in my room right now, to be honest, I am still not too sure of what is happening, but… Weiss really is here.
"Look…" I chose my words carefully, "I don't know… back then… therefore… I'm sorry."
"You don't know what?"
"No, it's… the thing… about your illness."
"You don't have to apologize to me. I will feel bad if you apologize."
I don't feel that great either!
"Moreover… you did nothing wrong."
With that, she turned her face away.
"That is not your fault. Those things will happen occasionally. The right side of my body will gradually become immobile all of the sudden, and sometimes I cannot even move my legs. I don't quite understand why either."
For a while, I could not speak. The right side of her body gradually becoming immobile?
"Why… can you say it as though it has got nothing to do with you?"
"Because… it doesn't feel like it has anything to do with me."
Weiss lowered her head and showed a slight smile. That was the first time I saw her smile, but it was such a lonely expression. My heart really ached.
"And I don't really care if it really can't move. However, that person and the records company may be slightly more troubled by that."
"… Well… aren't you going to France? I heard you will be going there for a checkup or an operation?"
"Mmm. That person will be doing a tour around Europe, so he'll be taking a flight tomorrow."
"T-Then the reason for you coming here at this time…"
"Yes, I ran away."
I gave a loud sigh. She ran away? Then again, this lass seems to be a repeated offender of running away from home, yeah?
"That is what I had planned anyway. I'll run away on the night before I am about to be brought to France. I don't really care if my illness can't be treated. I just want to bring my guitar and run away to a place far, far away, until my legs can no longer move…"
Weiss closed her eyes tightly, as though she was trying her hardest not to let her tears fall.
'I'll be disappearing in November anyway.' So that's what she meant by that, it's not because she will be going to France to seek treatment, but because she had already decided on running away from it. And then?
I forcibly swallowed that question back into my throat. She'll be running to a place far, far away. And then? What will she be doing after that? I knew Weiss would definitely be unable to answer that question — even if the question was directed at me, I wouldn't have the slightest idea on how to answer. Human beings will not think that much after they have decided to run away from something. They will only run desperately, and try to seek a place where they can hide in.
"Why did you look for me?"
"Because…" Weiss stared at my fingers, then suddenly lifted her head, "Because you said before, that I should honestly say whatever that is troubling me. Do you still remember?"
"Ahh… yes." I did say something like that before.
"So…" It seemed like Weiss was having trouble continuing on with that sentence. She lowered her head yet again.
"Currently, my hand… is unable to carry any luggage. Therefore… together…"
Upon saying that, Weiss closed her eyes once again, and shook her head fervently.
"Sorry, pretend I never said that."
Weiss suddenly stood up and walked right next to me. She carried her guitar, and just as she was about to take her shoes and climb out of the window, I called out to her without hesitation.
"Wait!"
Weiss turned around. I was unable to speak yet again as she stared right into me, and the words that I was originally planning to say had crumbled inside my mouth. Instead, what I asked was something unrelated and stupid.
"Do you want to leave via the main door?"
"There's no one else in the house?"
"No…"
"I see. But that was my first time climbing the trees, and I thought it was quite fun."
Problem is, the expressions on Weiss's face suggested otherwise. No wait, that's not what I meant!
"… Alright. Do you have any other luggage? Or did you leave them downstairs?"
Weiss kept staring at my face, and blinked her eyes in confusion.
"… What?"
"I'm coming along."
Weiss's not-too-big backpack was placed beneath the tree in the courtyard. On it hung the recorder which I had helped to repair, though I almost forgot about the time I did it.
"Are you really coming along with me"
"You are the one who wants me to come along!"
"So it is, but… why?"
"I don't know either. I don't even know where to go next. All I know is: I cannot allow you to leave by yourself."
I took the backpack and carried it on my shoulders. It's light.
"Umm, where's your bass? I only saw an empty casing in your room."
Weiss suddenly asked that question while we were in the dark courtyard.
"I threw it away."
"… Why? Ah…"
Weiss suddenly gave a shriek.
"I-Is it because of that time? I-I can't quite remember it clearly, but did it break because I slammed it…?"
"Nah, it's not that. Even if it is not broken, I'll probably throw it away too."
That was my reply, and it was no lie either. If I wanted to, I will definitely be able to fix it. Moreover, I don't want Weiss to be think that it was her fault.
"… Why?" Weiss became even more depressed.
Why huh? I sank into my thoughts for a brief moment.
"Because… I stop playing it."
"Don't you like rock?"
That direct question which lacked any compassion had caused quite a headache for me.
"It is quite interesting in the beginning, and it felt great when I practiced. However…"
I shut my mouth. Why did I throw it away in the end? I can't quite explain it myself.
"… Ah, if it is because… because of me back then…"
I shook my head and interrupted Weiss.
"Let's go quickly. My sister may be back anytime soon."
Weiss's face was masked by the darkness of the night, and because of that I was unable to see the expressions on her face clearly. Somehow, it just felt like the expressions she has right now should be a lonely one, right? I pushed Weiss out of the door, and carried her guitar on my back.
"Where are we going?"
"Where do you think we should go?"
Weiss and I exchanged such stupid questions.
The two of us began walking at the same time. We passed by the desolated street of the residential area which was illuminated by only a few street lights, and made our way towards the train station.
Our runaway plan suffered a huge setback — the last train had already left. The small train station stood there by its lonesome in the middle of the residential area, and there's only a convenient store nearby that operates late into the night. There was no one to be seen after the train left. As we stood on the surprisingly wide walkway, what accompanied us were our shadows spreading outwards and away from us due the the street lights around us.
"What should we do?" I asked in desperation.
"Are we not going to look for a corpse along the railroad?"
That was something I randomly said some time ago, and Weiss really used it against me.
"We are really gonna walk? It will be really tough!"
And what should I do if your right leg becomes immobile like how it had back then?
"I heard that freezing is the most beautiful way to die. Is that true?"
"Don't say something like that! Moreover, I've been feeling that something is out of place ever since just now…"
"What?"
"Why am I the one carrying your guitar and bag as well?"
I forgot when did the guitar came on my back, but it is really heavy.
"Because you are the one in charge carrying all the luggage!"
"That's not…" No wait, come to think of it, it really is so?
I looked at Weiss walking in the direction of the railroad, and caught up to her. That sight of her in the pale colored dress seemed like it would melt into the darkness and disappear if I was not careful.
After going past the wired fencing, the dark railroad was right beside us. As we walked up the gentle slopes, Weiss asked me about my mother out of the blue.
"Why…"
"Nothing, I just wanted to know about her. What sort of person is she?"
"Well, my mother is a headstrong, impulsive, eccentric, and stubborn woman… she had bossy and abusive attitude and extremely annoying person too. But despite all of that my mother deeply loved her family."
"I see…"
Weiss once again turned her sight back onto the railroad before her.
"You have a good mother, I really envy you."
"My Mama…"
Weiss suddenly talking about her mother to me as she looked forward, and her footsteps seemed to be slowing down as she walked on absentmindedly.
"She's no longer around even before I was in the elementary school. However, I heard she has remarried to a German, and they are now living in Munich. I even looked up for her address last year, as I was passing by Munich during my Europe tour."
She probably got herself lost? I thought to myself.
"However, Mama refused to see me. Her husband came to the door, and in a very polite English, he asked me to go back."
Weiss stopped in her tracks. As I could not see her face, I had no idea if the trembling of her shoulders were due to her crying.
"That person said I looked exactly like Mama, and so Mama may have refused to see me because she was afraid that she might be affected by it. Moreover, Mama's a pianist as well…"
Weiss finally turned her head, but there was almost no expressions on her face.
"The day after that, we took off to London, and my right body suddenly could not move right before the performance. But I… should not have cared about that at all…"
As she continued on endlessly, she grabbed onto her right arm tightly with her left fingers.
"Even if my right body become unable to move, followed by my left body, and finally my heart stops beating and I die; as long as I am mummified and sent to that person, he will definitely put me right before the piano automatically, and be pleased with that."
"… Don't say such uncomfortable things."
Weiss ignored my words, and resumed walking.
A few of the questions which I had always dared not ask her suddenly appeared in my mind. Since Weiss may plan to just disappear, I had decided to seek answers to all of my questions.
"Do you hate your father?"
Weiss did not answer me immediately. She was two steps in front of me, but she slowed down by dragging her feet along.
"I have never felt that way."
Weiss's voice gently landed on the asphalt, and rolled right next to my feet.
"It's not about me hating him or not… It's just like me being stuck in a bottomless swamp, helpless and all alone."
"What's with that! Just say you hate him if you really do!"
Weiss jumped in shock, and turned her head around after she stopped her footsteps. I flinched at my own voice as well, but as of now I could no longer pretend nothing had happened by keeping my mouth shut.
"… Why do you sound like you know everything?"
"Because it's painfully obvious! You don't like your father! Why do you have to make it so complicated?"
Weiss glared at me with her face flushed red, and her hair was trembling slightly as well. She then turned away hastily, and continued walking forward. Am I really qualified to say that sort of things? I could not help but think to myself after Weiss had shifted her gaze away from my face. After readjusting the strap of the guitar case which was about to slip off my shoulders, I quickly caught up with Weiss yet again.
After walking a distance of about four train stations apart, Weiss began complaining that her feet hurts. As such, we walked into a small park next to the railroad, and took a rest on the bench. There's only a small sand pit, two see-saws and a bench in the park. Such a lonely space this is.
"Does your right foot hurts?"
"No, it's both. It has nothing to do with that."
Seems like it's just due to us walking for too long. As for me, I was quite thankful for the chance to rest, as the strap of the guitar casing was already digging itself deep into my shoulder.
I lifted my head to look at the starless gloomy skies, and suddenly a serious question hit me. What the hell am I doing at a place like this deep in the middle of the night? What do I plan to do next? I shook my head, stared at my feet, and decided to just forget about that question for now.
"My legs always tire easily, and they cramp up frequently."
If so, what's with the deal of searching for a corpse along the railway!
"… Ah, so that's the reason you don't step on the pedals when you play the piano?"
"That has nothing to do with this. In the first place, there's no need to step on the pedals when playing Bach."
"That's not what I meant. I feel that you can portray the sustained notes very well even without the use of the pedals."
"Did you listen to my CD that much?"
"…"
"Disgusting."
That's played by you, so what's with the 'disgusting'!?
"It will be great if they can burn all the pieces in the world which was played by me."
Just don't record them if you don't like it?
"So you don't like the piano, but you are forced to play it?"
Weiss nodded.
"I had never once thought that playing the piano is something enjoyable."
"But you sound like you were having fun when you were playing Chopin's Butterfly?"
"The critics always love to guess the feelings of the musicians — I sometimes do wonder if they are idiots or something. I can still play a happy piece even if I am not feeling so!"
Well… you're not wrong to say that. Music is but a series of arranged notes. It's up to the listeners to interpret the feelings that are hidden within.
"So you started hating the piano, and you don't wish to play it anymore?"
"I can no longer play it anyway. I can only move my thumb and my index finger freely."
Weiss lifted her right hand and tried to open up her fingers. Her middle, ring and little finger were bent weakly.
"If you are to do a diagnosis and then proceed with the operation… perhaps there will be a chance for you to recover?"
"That is why I am running away."
Weiss placed her right hand on her chest. She then covered it with her left hand, as if she was trying to protect it.
"That person said that his dream is to play Beethoven's Piano Concerto No. 2. I have always been thinking — why No. 2? That is not a popular piece to begin with."
Beethoven had written five piano concertos. Recent research has pointed out that Piano Concerto No. 2 in B major was actually released earlier than No. 1, and it's the least played piece among all his piano concerto.
"I've only realized later after searching for the past records, that he had played the other concertos with Mama, and has recorded it down as well."
That's… I shut my opened mouth. I originally wanted to say "That's just you thinking too much into it", but I really could not bring myself to say it.
"And… I don't think my illness can be treated anyway. That's what I think."
Using her left arm, she clutched onto the wrist of her right hand tightly.
"I'm made just to play the piano with that person. Once I give up on the piano, it is obvious that I will not be able to move. That's natural."
"Then why are you playing the guitar?"
Weiss's shoulder flinched as she looked on the ground.
"And you just play the pieces that you had played on the piano before! Do you really hate the piano?"
Weiss bit on her bottom lips as she searched for an answer. She then closed her eyes and sighed.
"Originally… back when I first played Hungarian Dance together with Mama with our four hands, I felt really happy. I was only four back then, and we would always place this on the piano, and record the pieces we played."
Weiss traced out the contours of the sound recorder which was hanging from her bag with her fingers. So that is really something left by her mother. And she did say before that it is something important.
"But that's only for the beginning. I learnt how to play everything later on, but Mama is no longer around, and I am left all alone. All that is left next to me is the piano. After I am done with a piece, the score for the next will appear right before me. I hoped that I could perhaps use the guitar to get the same feeling back then, and I was quite immersed in it at the beginning, but…"
She hugged her knees on the bench, and leaned her forehead against her knees. There was an unmistakable depression in her voice.
"But I became more and more breathless as I played, and yet it felt painful if I don't. I really don't know what to do. My head was filled with the memories of that person wanting me to play this and that, so what was I feeling when I was playing the piano before all that? I can no longer remember, and perhaps I have already forgotten them somewhere already. Those memories will never come back to me, because I had already lost it all a long long time ago. I can no longer… get them back."
I unconsciously closed my eyes. All I could hear was the painful voice of Weiss.
Can she… really not get them back? If so, then is there really nothing that I can do for Weiss?
"… It's because you have been alone for too long. You will not be able to continue on the path of music like that."
Just then, I remembered the answer from a certain infamous detective novel. Will there be a sound if someone is to collapse in a desolated forest? The answer is no. If it does not get into the ears of someone, the sound cannot be considered as a sound, but rather the vibration of air.
"I too have learned that from Chiaki and Senpai. So…"
I suddenly didn't know what I was supposed to say. What the hell am I talking about? I am the one who gave up! I knew that will only hurt Weiss, but I still tossed it away and planned to ignore everything, didn't I?
"Have you… really decided to join the band of that Senpai?"
"Eh? Ah… yes."
Right. The bullshit about snatching back the ownership of the practice room and the dignity of rock no longer mattered midway. All I wanted is to start a band with Weiss. If only I could be like senpai and just tell her honestly right from the start…
"I wanted to ask you into the Folk Music Research Club if I won. The four of us can then practice together as a band in that classroom."
"Forming a band… I've never thought of things like that."
The expressions in Weiss's eyes were just as if she was trying to send off the migratory birds that were flying away in late autumn. I could not help but to direct my gaze away.
"Sorry. I was too hot-headed when I forced you to join that whatever showdown. It just feels… like I had caused you to remember those unhappy memories."
"No!"
Weiss suddenly shouted.
"Nothing of that sort. At that time… I actually could remember slightly about the days when I used to play the piano happily. Also, Eroica Variations is one my favorite pieces. The sounds of your bass was exceptional — it's just like it had fused together with my guitar as a single instrument. That was the first time I experienced those sort of feelings. It was just like magic."
I couldn't help but to slump my head. If I buy back the same bass, and do the same modifications to it again, will it be able to produce the same sounds as back then? That's impossible. A mere millimeter of difference and the slight change in the voltage will result in miles of differences in the sounds that are produced. That ensemble can be considered to be in the realms of a miracle.
"That was really like magic. Perhaps that's what playing as a band is all about?"
"Mmm, I had slight thought about it back when I was playing Eroica Variations. It was as though I had went back in time to when I was playing the piano together with Mama. If that is the magic of a band… then I wish to be part of it too."
"If so…?" I lifted my head and looked at her.
The tears at the corner of her eyes were reflecting the rays from the street lights.
"But I just can't do it. Things like forming a band with other people…"
"You can't? Why!?"
Weiss shook her head furiously, as if she was using her forehead to grind on her knees.
"I can't. Because I will definitely ruin everything."
"What are you talking-"
"Didn't you throw it away? It's because I broke it…"
Weiss murmured. I could only swallow back the words that were about to come out of my mouth, and gripped hard on my arms.
"I don't quite understand myself… why I did that back then."
Back then, Weiss took my bass and slammed it hard against the floor.
"It's all that bass' fault for making me recall so many things. I had already erased all those memories from within me! Because… it's really… painful…"
Weiss barely restrained herself from saying the words in her mouth. She gripped onto her right wrist tightly with her left hand. Perhaps I should cup my ears or something?
At last, she heaved a light sigh.
"… I'm sorry."
There was no need for Weiss to apologize. I shook my head.
"I am the one who ruined everything. It's true… I can't walk on alone by myself."
She hugged her knees, and buried her face into them.
"And there's no point in me saying all these. Your bass will no longer come back, and I am already…"
Weiss voice was stifled. I really do not wish to hear her saying such things. Moreover, I did not follow along just so I could listen to those words from her. What I can do…
Just one sentence flowed out from my mouth.
"It will not disappear just like that. Let's get it back together."
Weiss slowly lifted her head to look at me. Her eyes seemed a little puffy.
"What?"
"To get back my bass, that's what — the one that I threw away. I will be able to play it once I repair it."
"B-But…" Weiss sniffed.
"When did you throw it away? It should have been collected by someone, right?"
"The day before yesterday. It's taken away by the garbage truck."
"Do you know where it was taken to?"
"How would I know? That's why we are going to look for it!"
I stood up, but Weiss was still hugging onto her knees and looking at me with the helpless gaze of hers. We'll definitely find it.
(◕ω◕✿)
We waited until dawn before taking the first train. The skies looked as if it was about to rain — despite it being morning, the skies were still grey.
"Hey, you should be going to school, right?" Weiss asked while we were sitting in the wobbling train.
"Skipping it. Doesn't really matter if it's only for a day."
Moreover, I've already skipped plenty of lessons due to all sorts of reasons, but I decided not to tell her about it.
"Did you leave a message for your parents?"
"No…"
"But…"
She herself is a runaway girl, but Weiss was surprisingly caring towards others.
"Look, you're the one who asked me to leave with you! Why are you still worried about things like that?"
"… I thought you did it on a whim yesterday, and that you would return today."
So she was actually looking down on me.
"You are the one who's really running away from home! Your father is probably looking all over for you right now, yeah? Moreover you're a repeat offender…"
Weiss shook her head.
"There will be a performance tomorrow. That person should probably be heading down to the airport already."
"That can't be, right? We're talking about his daughter disappearing…"
"But for that person or the band, it'll be a much bigger problem if the conductor's missing, right?"
Well, she's not wrong, but… though it's not like we'll be found out that easily, but I guess it'll be much better if we're more careful when we're passing the police stations? Weiss is someone who had shot advertisements before, so there might be people who may recognize her in single glance.
"Where are we going?"
"The district office."
"District office?"
We alighted at the station located in the middle of the city, then made our way towards the office streets by walking through the north entrance of the station. In response to my suggestion that lacked any serious consideration, the runaway-girl Weiss seemed pretty scared.
"What if they realized that we're running away from home…"
"It'll be fine if we walk in with our heads held high! They probably wouldn't even consider the possibility of two people running away from home entering the district office just like that, right?"
Then again, it's a little too abnormal for me to be carrying a guitar case and luggage, so I made Weiss take these two things and hide in the bathroom, while I walked into the environmental office by myself.
"Large rubbish? Ah, we do, there's a chart over there."
The fat lady at the counter took her ballpoint pen and tapped at the waste classification chart before I finished my sentence.
"What I want to ask is, I don't really want to throw it away, but rather, where will I find the things that I accidentally threw away?"
The lady tilted her head and looked at me.
"Meaning I've thrown something away by mistake."
"What? You mean you want to find something? Impossible, absolutely impossible."
For a brief moment, I had a really strong impulse to just slap her on her head. After hounding the lady for quite a while, I finally got something about some environmental center. It's a treatment plant where they crush the large-sized rubbish into smaller pieces.
"But even if you go there… it's impossible, you definitely won't find it. Do you know just how much rubbish is sent there daily? Do you really think you'll find it after getting there?"
"Thanks."
I quickly ran out of the place. She actually asked me if I thought I would find it after getting there? I think I can, so how about that!?
The environmental center is located at the fringes on the other end of the city. I alighted at a station which I had never been to before, and it still took us another twenty minutes before we arrived at our destination, which is located on a small hill. When we finally saw the sheer size of the building amid the green forestry, both Weiss and I stopped in our tracks subconsciously.
Trucks filled with large trash rumbled past our sides. The two of us could only stand by the side of the road and watched on in amazement, as we narrowly avoided being crushed by those trucks.
"It's so huge…" Weiss mumbled, as if to voice out my feelings within.
Our school can be considered rather spacious, but this place is of another level altogether. The structure which we could see is already many times larger than our school, and it was constantly giving off loud sounds.
The words of the lady at the environmental office rang next to my ears again: "Impossible, absolutely impossible!"
"In any case… let's take a look first?"
"… Mmm."
We were almost runned over by an outgoing truck just as we reached the entrance. Weiss was coughing hard due to the dusts blown up by the truck. 'Environmental Center — Waste Crushing Plant' — that was what is written on the doorpost.
"Where should we go?"
Just as I was looking around us, Weiss quietly pointed towards the left. There was a sign that says 'Registration Lobby' and an arrow pointing to the left. At some distance to the direction of the arrow, one could see a small building similar to that of a petrol station.
As we got closer, we could see a large roof extending off that building. Beneath it was a metallic plate about the size of a car, and next to it was a machine that looked like a mailbox. A large 'STOP' was painted on the asphalt in white.
"This should be used to measure the weight of the trucks?" Weiss said.
I see, so they'll have to weigh themselves upon entering or exiting the place? If so, there should be people at the registration lobby, right?
"Do you think you can find your bass in such a huge junkyard? Perhaps it's already been crushed already, you know?"
"I won't know… if we don't check it out."
That sounded like I was trying to console myself.
Just as we walked to the 'STOP' right before the weighing area, the door of the registration lobby suddenly opened. We flinched in shock and stopped in our tracks.
"No no, I said no! Are you guys coming here to throw your junk? You can't!"
The mister walked towards us aggressively, causing the frightened Weiss to hide behind my back.
"We won't accept small-sized rubbish here… eh? Hmm?"
The mister suddenly walked right up to me.
"Isn't this a guitar? You can't throw that guitar away!"
"Eh? You don't do guitars here?"
"We can, but I won't allow it."
… What?
"Guitar is the soul of men! It will be sad if the King of Blues, B.B. King, is to abandon his signature Lucille guitar, yeah? It will be even worse if Brian May from Queen is to abandon his Red Special!"
What the hell is this person talking about?
"But Jimi Hendrix had burned quite a few guitars before, right?"
"That's not throwing away, is it? He's burning those as offerings to the god of rock! I can forgive that because he's Jimi Hendrix. Eh? You look pretty young, but you've actually heard of Jimi Hendrix before?"
"Eh? Yeah… I quite like him."
The eyes of the mister sparkled. Seemed like he's a die-hard fan of old-school rock.
"Oh, I see! I like his music best when he's at The Jimi Hendrix Experience, though after the Woodstock Music Festival, he…"
The mister suddenly began to chat excitedly… go back to your work already! I turned my head back slightly, and realized that Weiss had already run off to the faraway building to escape from all this. Damn traitor, that caused me to listen to the mister talking about the Woodstock Music Festival by myself for a full twenty minutes.
"… So do reconsider about throwing away your guitar. You should chase your dreams while you're still young!"
I could finally have the chance to interrupt, and thus I shook my hands hastily in denial.
"You're misunderstanding things. I'm not here to throw things away, but to get them back."
"Eh?"
I began explaining to the confused mister about how I accidentally threw away my bass.
The mister suddenly said this unexpectedly with tears in his eyes, "So… so that's how it is… after all, it was the first time you purchased an instrument by yourself… a youthful memory that you'll not be forgetting anytime soon…"
Umm, I never said anything about me going to buy the instrument for the first time, right? Though you're not wrong to say that…
"You finally bought it after saving up your new year's money for so long. Even before you could play the bass well, you had already thought of the name for your future band, as well as the name for your very first album. However, your mother hates rock music, and she actually threw your bass away without your approval… regardless of the times, the rockers will always be facing the fate of being persecuted…"
Stop cooking up your own story!
"And so you've went to the district office, and was directed here. I'm touched by how great you are. Remember to give it a lady's name after you've got your bass back!"
"Eh? Can I find it? You know it's been sent over here?"
"I don't. There are tons of rubbish sent here daily, so how would I possibly know that!"
Don't be that cold all of a sudden!
"I don't think you can get it back, yeah? I'll tell you first, but I cannot allow you to search in the compressing facilities, and don't even think about looking in the pit where everything has already been processed. I can allow you to take a search on the heap before our processes, but you'll be hindering our work."
"I see…"
Felt like the chances are slim. Perhaps I was really too naive?
"Speaking of which, when was your bass collected? Today? Don't tell me it's last week!"
"Umm… hmm… it's the day before yesterday."
The mister suddenly opened his eyes wide.
"Day before yesterday?"
I nearly thought he was about to transform. I retreated a step back in shock.
"Is it already too late… if it was the day before yesterday?"
"Is it really the day before yesterday? That's impossible."
"Eh?"
"We only collect rubbish on Saturdays. You didn't take it here by yourself either, did you?" I nodded my head in confusion.
I did indeed take it to the rubbish collection center on Thursday night, and I didn't see it by Friday.
"Perhaps someone picked it up and took it away?"
"Eh…?"
If that's really the case, then it's hopeless. I definitely can't find it.
"The television and stuff there were gone as well, so perhaps…"
"Eh? Then it must be by the other operators!"
The mister crossed his arms and nodded his head as though he had figured out everything. Operators?
"You sometimes see some small trucks going around the city and broadcasting 'We're collecting large-sized rubbish for free', right? That. We call them weevils. See, all that rubbish has been pasted with stickers given out by the district office before they are thrown away, yeah? If so, it'll be a crime to take that trash away!"
"Then… do you know where the operators are?"
"Hmm…?"
The mister lowered his head and pondered for a while. I guess he wouldn't know that. We've come to this place already, and yet it was for nothing. So the chances of finding my bass is really zero? I nodded my head dejectedly in thanks towards the mister, and said, "Sorry for interrupting your work." I then started to make my way towards Weiss. Just then, a voice suddenly came from behind me.
"Oi! Hold on, boy. Where's your house?"
"Huh?"
"If it is within the working areas of the operators that I knew, I can tell you about it!"
The instance I turned my head, the mister looked just like those muscular chaps similar to Freddie Mercury. He propped up his thumb and said.
"You want to get back your beloved instrument, right? Then obviously I can't leave you by yourself!"
As Weiss looked into the skies through the train's window, she murmured, "Looks like it's about to rain."
I nodded. I was sitting next to Weiss, with the guitar clamped in between my legs. I took out the list of information of the operators written by that mister, and double checked it yet again. Despite him giving me the details of six operators, there was not one of which he knew the address. I guess even someone from the recycling plant would not have known that much. The few operators had names like whatever-transport or something-something-agency or center.
What's even more exaggerating was that there's only the name of the person-in-charge as well as their cellphone number available — they couldn't be a bunch of guys dealing with illegal things, could they?
"Those chaps ain't a good bunch of people, so you better be careful."
He did say that before as well. Taking away the large-sized rubbish by themselves isn't exactly a serious crime, but you can't consider it a legit and honest career either.
"Are you really going to continue looking for it?"
"Mmm. In any case, we'll visit the district office another time after lunch, to see if we can get the address of the operators from the phone book or their registration information."
"We definitely won't be able to find it…"
"If you're feeling tired, you don't have to follow me around. Do you want to wait for me somewhere and take a rest?"
"I'm not following you!"
Weiss suddenly became flushed.
"You're the one who said you were coming along with me so as to help me with my luggage. You didn't forget that, did you?"
"Umm, it's as you've said, and so…?"
"And so I'm coming along as well."
Then stop complaining!
I looked out of the window as well. The same scenery of the streets flowed past our eyes, but somehow it felt different from what we had seen yesterday. Perhaps it was because it was lunch hour now? Would Karin be okay without me or would Chiaki be hungry without my bento? The things at school appeared briefly in my mind, but they seemed like things that were from a long, long time ago.
If I am to return to that everyday life, then I am bringing Weiss along as well. Therefore, I must definitely find my bass, and retrieve everything which I had abandoned — and find that sound that binds us together.
(◕ω◕✿)
After searching through the district office, the library, as well as the works progress administration at the cultural center, we had only managed to find three operators with addresses that looked more like that of a company's.
That's not a surprise though, because it seems like a majority of the people in the recycling industry works alone.
"How should we go about asking them after our call connects? It's illegal for them to do so, isn't it?" Weiss sat on the chair in the works progress administration, and asked me weakly.
"Hmm… you're kinda right…" If they had really removed the large-sized rubbish by themselves, then they'll probably not tell me about it truthfully anyway; and even if they had really taken it, it's not like I can just barge in to ask for it. In the end, all I could do was to walk out of the corridor with a brochure and the photocopied details with me.
I then switched on my cell phone. Whoa! Most of the missed calls were from my parents, Karin, and Chiaki number, and they had even sent me a message as well; Naruko surprisingly also made a call. I could only pretend not to see those things for now.
So how should I go about confirming it?
An idea suddenly popped up in my mind: all I have to do is to ask if they had collected a bass, then wouldn't that narrow the places where I'll have to search? I made up my mind and dialed the very first number.
"… Umm, hello… there's something which I'd like to ask… right, mmm… electric bass."
It was really quite troublesome for me to ask the same set of questions for six times. Moreover, aside from that whatever-agency, the rest of the numbers are all cell phone numbers. I kept hearing those noisy sounds of exhausts; the sounds of the cargo or something rumbling about; music that was overly loud to the point where the sounds were distorted; and the broadcast of "This recycling vehicle will collect all electronic trash for free". Everyone who picked up the phones were probably the truck drivers themselves.
After hanging up my phone, I walked back into the reference room wearily.
"So did you get something?"
"Yeah… all six said they did not collect the bass."
"So… that means that there may be other operators which that mister does not know of?"
If so, then there's really not a single piece of clue left. It may be someone pretending to be the official operator and drove everything away first, before they decide on what to do with the trash. Regardless, we were at a dead end. The office lady at the cultural center were beginning to be suspicious of us, and so we decided to leave the place quickly.
The skies were gloomy, and filled with thick layers of dark clouds. I sat on the pedestrian fence, and shared a bagel sandwich which we had bought at a convenience store together as our lunch.
"If only we've some sort of clue…" I murmured as I took a gulp of canned coffee to wash down the food particles in my mouth.
"Hey, why are you trying so hard to find it?" Weiss asked as she lifted her head to look at me.
"Are you that concerned about what I had said? Just forget it! We are currently fleeing from home! Just throw away everything and run away! It's not like we can find it anyway."
I kept staring at Weiss's guitar case. Though I could not quite explain it to her…
"I'll definitely find it."
"You're just being obstinate!"
And so are you too!
"Then how about we have a bet!"
Weiss's eyes opened wide when I said that.
"… What are we betting?"
What are we betting huh? Hmm… I fell into silence for a brief moment. I had actually said that in the heat of the moment…
"Well then…" I shifted my gaze to the asphalt, and pondered for a while.
"If I find it, then you are to join the Folk Music Research Club. The winner was not decided back then, so you can think of this as a play-off."
With the sandwich and the oolong tea in her hand, Weiss lowered her head and said nothing for a while. I could somehow feel that the person next to me nodding her head ever so slightly.
"In return…" Weiss suddenly raised her head.
"If you cannot find it, then you'll have to listen to everything I say."
"Everything… you say?"
"You'll have to help me with my luggage for life, and… you'll be in charge of collecting money with a hat."
Isn't that how we are right now? No wait…
"What's with me collecting money with a hat?"
"Because we'll have to come up with ways to earn cash! So…"
I really don't know how serious she is about all these things.
"So we'll have to play the guitar by the roadsides to earn some cash, then we'll go to one unfamiliar city after another via the train…"
Weiss's voice became softer and softer, as if she was dreaming. Even though it was quite pathetic for me to do so, I still let out a laugh. I began to feel like that sort of life may not be too bad after all.
"But won't I need an instrument too?" I interrupted half in jest.
"But you are really bad at playing. It's better for you not to play if we want to earn some cash from it."
I threw the coffee can into the rubbish bin with my might. I suck at playing, huh? So sorry for that!
"But you can consider singing? I've never heard you sing before."
"I humbly decline."
Singing huh…
"… Ah!"
Weiss turned her head around in shock as she heard the strange voice that came out from my mouth. She nearly dropped the sandwich which she had just taken a bite at onto the floor, as she was holding it with her right hand.
"What? Is there something?"
"A song! I've found a clue."
"Eh?" Weiss tilted her head as she could not figure out what I was saying.
I took out my cell phone, but I hesitated for a while when I saw the image on its LCD display. Am I really gonna do this? I am currently running away from home, right? The problem is, if I give up that tiny clue I have, then I can't come up of anything else. Moreover, I don't have much time left on my hands now. My bass is probably on the verge of being crushed.
I dialed the number of my house. Surprisingly it's my sister who answered it.
"… Naruko? Um, it's me."
"Where the hell are you now! Mom and Dad are worried about you! The school and Aihara had called Mom as they tried looking for you, I didn't see you yesterday when I returned home as well. We thought you had stay at Karin House', so Mom made a call to her house. However, she said that you're not there…"
"Well…" I took a gulp before continuing on, "I ran away from home."
I could somehow feel Weiss's eyes widening as I said that.
"R-Ran away!? What the hell are you talking about!?"
"I'll apologize to you as many times as you wish after that, so answer me my question for now! Naruko, you should be at home throughout the day before yesterday, right? Did some trucks that collect large-sized trash for free past by our house that day?"
What followed was a long silence. I turned around to look at Weiss, who was staring at my cell phone uneasily, and made a gesture to signal that it is okay.
"… Large-sized trash?"
"Those trucks that circle round and round while blaring those irritating music."
"Irritating music? Um… ah, yeah, yes yes yes."
Naruko sounded like a patient who had slowly woke up from his dreams.
"Umm, it probably came during the day? I remember turning up the volume of the sound systems by a notch as it was really noisy."
My hand which was gripping onto the cell phone was trembling nonstop.
"So it did come? Then…"
My palms were wet from my sweat, so I changed the phone onto another hand.
"Then was the truck playing any sort of music?"
This time, there was no hesitation in her answer, and she sounded rather certain as well.
"Oh, yes. Vivaldi."
I sprang up from the pedestrian fence.
"Thanks, Naruko. This may be the last goodbye, please don't play too much of eroge. Tell my apologize to Mom and Dad. Take care!"
"W-Wait —"
I immediately hung up the phone after saying that out hastily, and switched off my phone. I then took up the luggage on the ground, and carried the guitar case on my back once again.
"What's going on?"
"I've a clue now!"
I picked out one of the many leaflets given to me by the mister from the treatment plant. During one of the calls, I heard something from the background noises — Vivaldi's The Four Season — the first movement of Spring. Mutou's Engineering Firm! I was really lucky, as that was the only operator out of the six that I had managed to get the address of. I had actually managed to connect to the thread of the faintest possibility. I began making my way towards the train station, and all I heard was Weiss scurrying behind me in her haste to catch up to me.
Mutou's Engineering Firm is located at about two cities away. After taking the train for four stations, we still have to transfer to another train and then travel for another three stations before we arrived. It was already four something in the afternoon when we reached the place. Why did they travel that far to my house to collect the junk? If not for the guy at the treatment plant, it would be impossible for me to locate this place.
The town where my house at is not highly populated, nor is it bustling with life; but if I am to be slightly exaggerating, this is a totally desolated place. Even though it was separated by a river, the plot of empty space filled with weeds in front of the station stood out exceptionally. The noise from the Pachinko parlors further brought out the sad loneliness of the place.
Weiss did not speak since a while back. "Are your legs fine?" She would definitely shake her head fervently if I asked her that — however, just about everyone can see that her steps were not stable at all. I was a little worried, and so I tried to slow down my pace as much as possible, so as to go along with her. The only problem was that the situation did not allow us to walk at a leisure pace.
We stopped at a book and stationery shop in front of the station, and checked the maps to confirm the location of Mutou's Engineering Firm. It's quite a distance away from the station.
It was partially due to Weiss not being able to walk too quickly, that resulted in us arriving at the place only after thirty minutes. It was a narrow road where two trucks could barely drive through side-by-side, and on the two sides of the road were old houses lined up together in a row — Mutou's Engineering Firm is located within one of those buildings.
It was a two story building that seemed to be cut straight out from a black-and-white photo, and I didn't even have to see the rusted signboard to know that it's an engineering firm. It seemed like the whole of the first story was used as a parking area as well as a working area — a purple colored truck was parked at the side, and the air was filled with the smell of burnt metal. Deeper in was a heap of things that looked like they were either tools or junk, but I could not quite see it clearly as it was getting dark already.
"It's this place?"
"Mmm."
The lights were switched on for the tin hut located on the second floor, which seemed to be the office. However, there were no one at the working area. I hesitated at the gate for a while. What to do? Should I head up to the second floor directly and say out everything truthfully? The other party may play dumb in response. Is everything that was picked up really stored inside?
"Wait here for a while, Weiss. I'll go take a look."
I placed the luggage next to Weiss's feet, and walked into the parking area. The smell of metal became heavier. At the side of the truck was a drill and lathe, as well as household appliances like an old television, fridge, microwave and etc.
I began searching for traces of my bass at the rubbish heap in the dark.
"Oi!"
A voice suddenly came from behind me, causing me to turn my head in shock. I saw a burly man who had the sleeves of his T-shirt rolled up to his shoulders. His expressions didn't look too friendly.
"What do you want? It's dangerous around here, so don't enter as you please."
"Umm, well…"
The guitar case was about to slip off my shoulders, so I propped it back into place.
"May I ask… if you collect any electronics… and stuff?"
"Yeah I do… but what do you want me to collect? Not everything's free."
"Ah, no, I am not asking you to help me to collect something… I just want to ask if you had collected some large-sized rubbish from my house on the day before yesterday? The address is No. 6, Chiba city. It's placed together with the television… it's a bass…"
In the end, I asked the guy directly about it. Even though I should not have seen the guy's face clearly as he was standing in front of the faintly shining street light with the rays shining into my eyes, I could still detect a change in his expressions.
"Hah?"
"… You see… I've accidentally threw it away in mistake as a large-sized rubbish…"
"Who the hell knows! We won't collect things that are not required from us, and moreover what reason do we have for running to a place that is two cities away? Think about that!"
That quick denial just further confirmed my doubts. This guy probably knew about the surrounding areas near my house at his fingertips, so he knew immediately where I was talking about after hearing my address, but there's an even greater possibility…
It's probably this person who has taken away the rubbish without any prior permission.
"But, my family members said they've seen this truck before?" I wove a lie.
The man showed an expression as though the gum he was chewing on had changed into a caterpillar, and stared at me fiercely for quite a while.
"And then? What do you want?"
"I just want it back."
"I don't know!"
The man began to play dumb — seemed like he was planning to feign ignorance all the way.
"Bass? We do collect the typical guitars, and sometimes we accidentally picked up a bass or two as well, but we'll toss it away immediately."
"Where did you throw it to?"
"I don't know, I am not the person-in-charge here. Now just scram!"
"Please, may I know where do you throw them to? Please tell me!"
"Didn't I already say, I don't know! Stop creating trouble for me kid!"
He stomped his foot on the sandy ground, and then tramped his way up the stairs to the office. A loud sound of the slamming doors then came to me, as if he was trying to break the door. I was frozen in my place for a while.
I was left alone in the space which was dark and filled with the smell of metal. A heavy feeling of tiredness suddenly landed on my shoulders, and it felt like my muscles had kinked up together. I had already came here, I had actually chased all the way here. But my clues were dead once more. I no longer had the strength to even walk.
Sha I could suddenly hear a footstep. I lifted my head, and saw Weiss dragging the luggage over. I forced a smile at her. I had said many time that "I'll definitely find it", but the result was actually something like this — it just felt really embarrassing. There's nothing which I could do. I did not manage catch up to my destination. It somehow felt like that I had been repeatedly doing that all these while.
Suddenly, Weiss stretched out her not very agile index finger, and pointed it at the parking area.
"… Hmm?" I raised my head and looked in the direction which she was pointing to. Half of the purple truck was hidden in the shadows.
"Somehow… it feels like I've seen this vehicle somewhere before." Weiss mumbled.
I stared at her for a while, before turning my attention back at the truck. Just then, a flicker of light flashed past my mind. I have an impression of it too.
I too, have seen that truck before.
I know this vehicle, so I must have seen it somewhere before. It must have passed by me at somewhere. Where is it? Just as I was trying to remember, what appeared in my mind however was the side profile of Weiss's face. Why? Why did that strangely colored truck remind me of Weiss? When exactly did I see it? When, where…
"Ah…!" I remembered.
I do know this truck, because I had seen it with Weiss before. On that day when I first saw Weiss, we had brushed by this truck before. At a faraway town next to the seas, in the silent forest within the mountains.
"… Do you really think this is the truck which we saw back then?"
Weiss did not answer me, but I was not waiting for her answer either. We had no other options in our hands, since that was the only clue left. Weiss and I looked at each other, and nodded at the same time. If so… then let's get moving.
We walked out of the engineering firm, and traced our steps back to the train station. Towards The Department Store of Hearts' Desires.
.
.
.