Chapter Five: Just don't know

"Just don't know"

- Unexpectedly by Jason Chen.

Riza was warm and cosy. She squinted at the sunlight shining in between the crack of the curtains. She made to roll over into the pillow and found that she couldn't move. Something warm and very solid keeping her there. She wasn't in her bed, she realised sleepily. The pressure around her waist tightened and something bumped against her head.

Huh?

She opened one eye and caught a glimpse of dark hair before the mortifying events of last night hit her. Roy was here and he was holding her. She swallowed a groan and opened her other eye. Her heart hammered in her chest. It felt nice but she was hot, much too hot. She didn't remember falling asleep. She must have exhausted herself crying and he was too polite to wake her.

Damn you, Roy.

She was draped across him, his head was resting against hers and his arms were wrapped tight around her. There was a throw over them, or rather half over them because it looked like she had pushed it off during the night.

She tried to pull out of his sleepy embrace but his grip on her tightened. Shit. She couldn't move without waking him up. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She couldn't let Rebecca walk in on them like this - she would never hear the end of it.

Opening her eyes, she shook his shoulder. "Uh, Roy?"

He jumped. "What?" He opened his bleary eyes and blinked. "Riza?" His eyes widened and his lips parted, he yelped.

She grimaced. "I guess we fell asleep."

His adam's apple bobbing, he released his hold on her. "Oh, sorry."

She stood up and stretched. "Don't apologise." She smiled at him and forced herself to look at him. "I mean I'm the one that fell asleep on you."

He waved her apology away. "I probably should have woken you but I decided to wait. And then, I guess I drifted off too."

They both laughed, embarrassment dissipating.

Riza smiled at him, warmth spreading in her chest. "Thank you for coming over last night."

"I was worried about you," he whispered. "And that's what best friends are for, right?"

She blushed again. "Yeah - I guess I'm lucky to have to. Especially for putting the throw over me. That was sweet."

Brow furrowed, Roy rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, no - that wasn't me." He turned his head and glanced at Rebecca's door. "You don't think-"

The door was closed. It had been open the night before, so Rebecca had definitely come home.

Riza put her face in her hands. "Shit. She'll never let us live it down."

The bedroom door opened revealing an unrepentant Rebecca. "Of course, I won't and neither will Jean." The brunette entered the room followed by her smirking boyfriend. "It was too cute. Jean wanted to wake you up but I couldn't bear to break up such a cute scene."

Jean nodded as Riza's horror grew. "Yeah, she posted a lovely picture to our group chat."

She turned to Roy, who looked equally mortified as he dragged a hand through his hair. "Please tell me you're kidding."

She reached for her phone, which she had left on the table. There were several message notifications.

"Oh, no," she whispered. She opened the message thread and saw was the picture of them cosying up together in their sleep. They both looked so peaceful and was that drool on Roy's chin. To her horror, her hair looked like a bird's nest. She put her hand up to her hair automatically and winced. She glared at her friend. The bitch . She held the phone up to Roy, who paled. "They're not kidding. Unfortunately. And Becca posted a caption."

"Snuggling on the couch?" Roy arched an eyebrow. "Really, Catalina?"

"I regret nothing," Rebecca declared as Jean wrapped his arms around her. "You two looked like you were enjoying yourselves. I couldn't let a moment like that slide."

Roy pinched the bridge of his nose and stood up. "Do I want to look at the comments?"

"Probably not." Jean had a gleam of mischief in his eyes. "Everyone is really happy for you guys."

Roy narrowed his eyes. "I hate you both."

Jean stretched out his palms while his girlfriend giggled into her hand. "I didn't take the picture or post it. It was all Becs." He kissed the top of her head.

Riza rolled her eyes. "You don't look sorry, Jean."

Sighing, Roy reached for his own phone. "Hughes," he muttered through clenched teeth.

Ignoring Rebecca's cackles and Jean's smug expression, Riza scrolled through the messages to what Hughes had written: Finally fucking hallelujah. Dibs on Best Man job. I always said you two were my OTP.

Roy winced. "Drunk Hughes is the worst Hughes."

Fuery had commented on how cute they were. Her lip twitched a little at Breda's comment about Roy drooling.

"I'm going to kill Hughes," Roy muttered, "And Breda." He glared again at Rebecca. "Thanks a lot."

The brunette grinned. "Loosen up, both of you. Some might say you protest too much."

Riza took a deep breath. "Becca, how many times do I have to tell you that Roy and I are friends?" She crossed her arms. "It was entirely innocent, so you can let our nosy friends know to hold the celebrations."

Her friend shook her head. "You do it." With a giggle, she grabbed Jean by the hand. "We're going for a shower." The door slammed behind them.

"I'm so sorry, Roy," Riza said as Roy plopped back on the couch.

He blew out his cheeks and exhaled. "I guess it's kind of funny and it's not like they haven't done it before."

"This time is probably a little less subtle though. It's a good job, I'm still not with Liam though. He was always a little jealous of you."

Tilted his head, he looked surprised. "He was?"

She sighed deeply and sank back onto the couch beside him. "Probably one of the reasons we broke up. His jealousy, I mean. Guys and girls can be friends without things like sex getting in the way." To her ears, Roy's answering laugh sounded a little forced. He was angry, she was sure of it. He was typing furiously on his phone and she wondered what he was writing. He must have noticed her stare and he lifted his head.

"I guess this will shut this down." He handed her his phone. "What do you think? Return your wedding gifts. Unfortunately, Riza is much too good for the likes of me and has agreed to be my Best Friend Forever. Sorry, Hughes."

Maybe he's not mad after all?

"You've got my approval." She let out a snort and handed him back the phone. "Poor Maes but I guess it serves him right."

"Well, he's got to know I wouldn't be cuddling him like that." He looked at her intently and she shivered.

"Yeah," she whispered. "But there would be nothing wrong with that. I mean, platonic cuddling between men is just fine."

He scrunched his nose. "Not between Hughes and me. It would be weird. We don't have a very touchy-feely relationship."

"Or romantic cuddling between men is fine too," she teased.

Roy raised an eyebrow. "Are you telling me, Miss Hawkeye, that you are having fantasies about me and Hughes. I don't think Gracia would be impressed but I'm sure Hughes wouldn't mind."

She grabbed a cushion and smacked him in the chest with it. He caught her by the upper arms and she fell against him.

"All's fair, Riza," he whispered in her ear. "If you can't take it, don't dish it out."

She forgot to breathe for a moment. His eyes were boring into hers and her body was pressed flush against his. And she realised, she really wanted to kiss him. But that was bad. A bad, bad idea. They were friends. Best friends. She didn't know how he felt and she was pretty confused because these feelings were new, or at least ones that had been gone for a long time. Could it be her hormones? She released her breath and he pulled back. Her heart was still racing. Blood pounded in her ears, her mouth dry.

Get it together, Riza.

"Uh, so- are you going to-" she began just as he said, "Do you want-"

Roy let out a chuckle and dipped his head.. "Ladies first."

She smiled. "Want coffee?"

"Sure."

Her stomach felt a little tender. She didn't think she was going to be able to eat anything but that didn't mean Roy wasn't hungry. The least she could do was feed him after what he had done for her.

"Do you want anything to eat?"

His eyes widened and he shook his head. "Uh, I'm having brunch later with uh- with an old friend."

"Oh?" She arched an eyebrow waiting for him to elaborate. That was odd. When he didn't, she asked, "Is it a date?"

"I don't know," he said.

Her heart sank. Well, that meant he would like it to be a date but he's not sure that she feels the same way. What was she doing feeling disappointed for no reason? She and Roy were friends and she had no business quizzing him about his dates. She cursed Rebecca again for putting ideas in her head. There was going to be nothing stopping her now after what she walked into last night. No matter how embarrassing it was, she was grateful to have Roy hold her the previous night. She was finding it hard to sleep since she found out about the pregnancy and knowing he was going to be there to help her, no matter what warmed her. He was such a good friend. Any girl would be lucky to have Roy as her boyfriend. And speaking of boyfriends, she knew she owed Liam an explanation. Liam had been good to her but they weren't compatible. Still, he deserved to know that she was pregnant with his baby.

Oh god, what am I going to do? Could I really be a mom? I'm not ready.

She took a deep breath and poured the hot water. Roy came up behind her and squeezed her shoulder. She swallowed the lump in her throat and blinked away the beginnings of tears. She had already fallen apart on him the previous night, she had to keep it together.

"I'm ok, Roy, I think I can handle making a cup of coffee."

Turning around, she handed him the mug. "You know where the milk is."

"Thanks." He looked her in the eyes with a soft expression. "You're crying." Using the pad of his thumb, he wiped away a tear from her cheek.

She shook her head. "It's fine. I'm fine, or as fine as I can be in the circumstances."

Needing a moment to compose herself, she poured herself a glass of water.

"I'm here for you," he said. "Don't shut me out."

"I'm not." She sighed and she turned to face him. "Honestly, Roy, I just don't want to talk about it right now."

"Alright, but if you need anything, anything at all, just call me anytime."

"Did anyone ever tell you that you have a serious hero complex?"

Roy sat at the table mindlessly thumbing through an old newspaper while Riza took a shower. He picked up the paper with the intention of completing the crossword. She usually completed the sudoku but never bother with the crossword. He found it hard to concentrate when his thoughts were so loud, so he settled for trying to read it. He wasn't sure why he didn't mention Katie when Riza asked about brunch. Now would have been a perfect time. It just didn't feel right, not when his best friend was going through a hard time. Not when it probably wouldn't mean anything anyway. It wasn't as if it was a real date.

It's two old friends catching up, he reasoned. Sure they were exes but they were friends before they got together. Besides, she would be gone back to college soon and he would be right back where she left him.

Maybe I should cancel brunch?

He rubbed his temple. He wished he could shut his brain off. It wasn't offering him anything helpful. He knew he had to go home soon to change and shower too but he wanted to make sure that Riza was alright before leaving. He didn't like the idea of her going to her childhood home on her own. She had been miserable there. Roy might have lost both his parents but his aunt had been a great parent. She had not been as lucky. Whether it was now or in the future, he was sure she would be a great parent in spite of all that or probably because of her own personal experiences.

The door of the bathroom squeaked and Roy looked up as Riza entered the room. She was fully dressed this time but her hair was damp and falling around her shoulders. His mouth went dry and he swallowed.

She arched an eyebrow. "What are you staring at?"

He blinked. "Enjoy your shower?"

"Yeah." She looked around the room.

"Rebecca and Havoc popped out," he said answering her unspoken question. "They went to get some coffee because an instant isn't good enough for them."

She laughed and sat down at the table opposite him. "Becca keeps complaining about that." She rolled her eyes. "We have a coffee maker and she was meant to get the coffee."

"Typical Rebecca, huh?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

They lapsed into silence. He watched her, a feeling of apprehension washing over him. She was staring down at her hands, looking miles away. He wished he could help her. All he could do was be there for her whatever decision she ultimately made. Her father really had shitty timing.

The bastard.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go back to yours with you?" Roy asked. "I can drive you at the very least."

She looked up. "No, I'll be fine. Honestly." She played with her sleeves. "I don't plan on telling him anything just yet, not until I make up my mind. I should have spoken with Liam at least."

He reached for one of her hands and squeezed it. "Well, let me know if you need anything."

She rolled her eyes and pulled her hand away. "I don't need rescuing Roy. I am perfectly capable of dealing with my pain in the ass family on my own."

"I know that but you shouldn't have to." Sighing, he stood up. "I should get going. I need to get home and change."

She smiled at him. "Ok, I'll see you on Monday."

Riza was curled up on the armchair, her knees drawn up to her chin. She tried to concentrate on her book but she could feel Rebecca's stare from where she was perched on the edge of the couch. Not wanting to give her the satisfaction and wanting to put off the inevitable interrogation, she pretended not to notice even when her friend stood up and approached her.

"Riiizzzzaaa?"

Sighing, the blonde lifted her head. "What?"

"You know what! Tell me everything."

Riza rolled her eyes. "There is nothing to say except Roy turned up and brought pizza."

"How very boyfriendly of him."

"Friendly," Riza corrected. "Poor guy had to put up with me crying all over him. It was embarrassing enough and then you had to take a picture."

Rebecca shrugged. "How could I not take a picture? It was so cute and adorable." She plucked the book from Riza's hands. "When are you two going to take your heads out of the sand and stop pretending that you aren't perfect for one another."

"Becca, do you really think now is the right time to be thinking about a relationship? We already had this conversation. I think I have more important things to worry about than whether Roy and I are meant to be or not."

"You're not denying it - that's progress!" Riza glared at her and Rebecca made a zipping motion with her mouth. "You're right, you're right. I am sorry."

Riza took her book back.

Her friend pursed her lips. "Why do you even read that crap?"

"You mean read for enjoyment."

"Magazines are enjoyment." The brunette held her head high. "You're just a snob, Riza Hawkeye." She held out her hand for Riza to take, "Do you want to go get something to eat?"

Riza's stomach lurched. "No, but you should eat something."

"Feeling queasy?" Rebecca asked.

Riza nodded silently.

"Do you feel up to a walk?" Rebecca perched on the edge of her chair and gave her a one-armed hug. "Getting air might help and we can pick up some crackers or something."

"Alright," Riza said, "but I want to read some more of this book first."

"And you need to dry your hair," the brunette scolded. "First, I am going to make some herbal tea."

Riza opened her mouth to protest but Rebecca was gone. She smiled. Rebecca may have her faults but she was always looking out for her.

Chris looked up from her newspaper when Roy came in through the kitchen. "And where were you all night?"

Roy yawned. "I fell asleep at Riza's."

She cocked an eyebrow and gestured for him to sit. "Well, did you now?"

He stayed standing and crossed his arms. "I fell asleep on the couch, alright. How many times do I have to tell you-"

"Calm down, Roy-boy," she interjected, " I'm just joshing you. You're extra touchy about it lately."

He sighed. "Riza's going through a hard time right now. I'm worried about her, ok?"

Her face softened. "Anything you want to talk about?"

He shook his head. "It's Riza's business, I'm not going to spill my guts to you."

She gave him a calculating look but she didn't press for which Roy was grateful. "Alright, you both know where I am if you need anything."

He inclined his head. "We know."

"Good." She flashed a smile, "So, see any more of Katie since she dropped by?"

Roy smiled. "Actually, I'm meeting her for brunch today."

"Hmm."

"What's hmm about?"

"Just be careful."

Roy rolled his eyes. "That's what Hughes said."

"He's not wrong." She put down the newspaper. "It was hard on you two when you broke up and I thought you had moved on, kiddo."

Roy sucked in a breath. "I thought I had too. I mean I think I have but-"

"You're not so sure right now."

He shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck. "Maybe."

"Don't bite my head off for saying this, Roy, but I think you should be careful about looking to the past and ruining your present."

He narrowed his eyes. "I know you were happy when we broke up."

Chris clucked her tongue. "Look, Roy, I'm not going to lie about that. I like Katie. I thought she was good for you but things were moving too fast. You were too young to be getting serious. College is about having fun and getting an education. You didn't need the pressures of a relationship with that, especially a long-distance one."

"Why does everyone else think they know my mind better than I know my own?" he muttered.

"Frankly, you still don't need that pressure," she said flatly. "You might not be as over Katie as you thought, or it may just be those rose-tinted glasses that fool you into stupidity."

Roy rolled his eyes. "Chris, you're overreacting. It's just brunch, not even a date." If that was the case, then why was he so reluctant to tell Riza? He pushed away the treacherous thought and continued, "It's not like it changes anything. As you said, we broke up for very valid reasons. I haven't forgotten them, you know."

"Good. I just worry about you."

Rubbing at his temple, he snapped, "Well, don't."

She picked up her newspaper. "When you've adopted a pain-in-the-ass kid and he's transformed into a stubborn know-it-all, come back to me."

Roy stood up. "I'm going for that shower."

Why did everyone insist on giving advice to him about his love life? He stomped to his bedroom to get his clothes. He hated arguing with Chris and his ire had disappeared by the time he got to his bedroom. His aunt was just concerned about him. He vowed to apologise to her after he cleaned up. She had a point after all.

To be continued...