Chapter 17- Bad Reputation:
Kurt, Mercedes, Artie and Tina are all crowded around a computer laughing, "What's so funny?" Finn asks entering the choir room.
"You guys aren't watching the video of me falling off stage at my first TinyTots beauty pageants, are you?" Rachel asks as her and Jesse enter.
"That was carrot top funny compared to this comedic tour de force." Kurt says through laughter.
"That's Olivia Newton-John's physical." Jesse says, "It was pretty ground-breaking subject matter at the time, considering its depiction of fluid sexuality."
"Oh, my god!" Mercedes says laughing harder, "Wait, wait."
"That's not Olivia Newton-John!" Finn says, "That's-that's Sue Sylvester! Where do you get this!?" the video the kids are watching is a video of Sue weirdly dancing to Physical.
"I can tell you that I certainly did not steal it from her locked file cabinet yesterday when she sent me back to her office to get her hormone replacement injection during cheerios practice." Kurt says while laughing.
"Wait." Artie says, "Did she just do the cabbage patch?"
"I'm posting this on YouTube." Finn says getting up.
"No, no, wait, wait." Rachel says, "Do you think that's a good idea? She might kill us."
"Oh, let her get a taste of some of the humiliation she put us through." Mercedes says,
"I'm with Finn." Jesse says, "You guys need to stop being such asses and start being bad-asses." Finn reaches out and takes the computer.
"Ten bucks it goes viral by lunch." Finn says posting the video to YouTube.
X-X-X-X-X
"Who did it?" Mr Schue asks holding up the 'glist'. No one says anything, "This is serious. Principal Figgins is threatening to disband the club."
"Why are we playing this game?" Blaine asks, "We all know it was Puck."
"Back off." Puck says, "I didn't go squat."
"Then why is your girlfriend first on the glist?" Tina asks.
"And why am I last?" Rachel asks Puck, "Aside from the fact that I refused to put out for you."
"Okay, enough! No one is accusing anyone of anything." Mr Schue says, there's a two second pause, "Puck, seriously did you, do it?"
"I said no." Puck says, "I'm a delinquent, sure. I like setting stuff on fire and beating up people I don't know. I own that. But I'm not a liar."
"All right, here's the important point." Mr Schue says, "Between this and posting coach Sylvester's personal video on YouTube, you guys are getting a pretty bad reputation."
"Why is that a bad thing?" Artie asks, "Maybe if we seem more dangerous, people would stop flushing my glasses down the toilet."
"Look, things are hard right now." Mr Schue says handing out sheet music, "I get it. You're under a lot of pressure with regionals coming up. And I know that winning sectionals hasn't had the positive effect on your popularity that a lot of you thought I would. But becoming what you despise is not the answer."
"Man, this song is wack." Mercedes says looking at the sheet music.
"No, it's not." Mr Schue says, "It's a terrific song on a lost list of top hits that, because of time or some bad press, has become a joke. And, like you guys, it's time to start rehabilitating its bad reputation. The assignment for the week is for all of you to find songs like this, mine them for what works and make them great again. And then, hopefully, can apply this musical lesson to your own lives."
"This song should be arrested for the crime of sucking." Jesse says. The new directions laugh.
"You want to bet?" Mr Schue asks, "Hit it."
"Yo, VIP. Let's kick it. Ice ice baby. All right, stop, collaborate and listen…"
As the song continues Mr Schue slowly involves all the new directions getting them all dance in small group. The song finishes and the new directions cheer, "This song is officially paroled!" Mr Schue yells, and the kids laugh, "Right, Jesse?"
"You got me!" Jesse says holding his hands in surrender.
X-X-X-X-X
"I need to enlist the services of the AV club." Rachel says to Artie as they walk down the hall.
"What did you have in mind?" Artie asks.
"My shame at app appearing so low on the glist has made me revaluate my image at this school and beyond." Rachel says, "I've now realized that in today's culture of bad boy athletes and celebrity sex tapes, a good reputation is no good at all." She walks in front of Artie stopping him in his tracks, "Artie, you know how our glee club assignment was to find a song with a bad reputation and rehabilitate it?" Artie nods, "We, mine is going to afford me the worst reputation in this school. Rachel Berry is going to get a little down and dirty."
"I'm going to stop you." Artie says, "You had me at 'sex tape'. How can I help?"
"Hold onto your hat, because Rachel Berry is going to become… musical promiscuous." Rachel says, whispering the last part. She stutters off. Tina walks up to Artie.
"Kurt's called a meeting in the choir room." She says walking with Artie's wheelchair.
"Why?" Artie asks, "Glee isn't until later today."
"It's not everyone." Tina says, "Just a few of us." Artie frowns in confusion and Tina just shrugs. The couple enter the choir room to see Kurt and Mercedes standing at the piano.
"Fellow glee clubbers, I've called this meeting because our free-falling reps have reached terminal velocity." Kurt says, "We are at defcon one."
"We're such zeros they didn't even bother putting us on the glist." Mercedes says.
"What does a C-lister do when their tiny star is about to fall off Perez Hilton's radar screen?" Kurt asks, "They cause a scandal so extreme they can no longer be ignored."
"Um, excuse me." Artie says raising a hand, "Why is he here?" Artie asks pointing to Blaine, who was sitting at the back of the choir room.
Everyone turns around to look at him, "I heard about your meeting, so I decided to sit in."
"You're on the glist." Mercedes says, "You don't need to be here."
Blaine laughs, standing up and walking towards the group, "I was fourth on the glist." Everyone nods, "That's far too low. I've made out with every girl in the school. Unless a boy made the glist, I should've been number one. I need to do something to get to the top."
"Fine, you're in." Kurt says.
"In what?" Mercedes asks, "We don't even have a plan."
"What is the worst thing a student can do at this school?" Kurt asks.
"Eat in the cafeteria?" Tina asks, the others laugh.
"No, be a disruption in the library." Kurt says.
"You're adorable." Blaine mutters to himself while giggling.
"And I'm not talking about trying to check out a reference book." Kurt says ignoring Blaine's comment, "I'm talking about full-on chaos, including getting your glee in the stacks."
"Genius." Artie says, Blaine frowns.
"That's not big at all." Blaine says.
"You got a better idea?" Kurt asks.
"I got 20." Blaine says.
"We don't want to get expelled." Mercedes says, "So, we'll just go with Kurt's plan."
"Yeah." Tina says, "I like being alive and pretty sure my parents would kill me if I even got suspended."
Blaine groans, "Fine."
"Great." Kurt says, "We'll meet tomorrow to plan."
X-X-X-X-X
"Do you know that when we dated the rest of the school gave us a nickname?" Rachel asks Puck, "Puckleberry."
"That's humiliating." Puck says with a phantom mask on.
"The fact is that slumming it with me actually improved your reputation." Rachel says, "It gave you a sense of humanity."
"Wait, do you want to date again?" Puck asks, "I was wondering why you invited me here."
"As you know, I'm taken." Rachel says, "But I can be of some assistance. Help me with my song for glee club. I might be the last chance you have to salvage what's left of your reputation and stay in glee. Besides, you need a song that's going to help you express your inner pain."
"So, what song do you want to do for your assignment?" Puck asks.
"I've chose David Geddes' fantastically terrible 70s top ten hit… run Joey run." Rachel says and Puck frowns in confusion, "It's a story song. So, we get to play parts. I'm going to play the role of the tragic heroine who dies in the end, a la Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge. And you can be the hunky, heroic male lead."
"Do I get to kill you?" Puck asks with a smirky.
"Actually, my dad shoots me with a shotgun." Rachel says.
Puck sighs, sitting on Rachel's bed, "Do you think I made that glist? Honestly."
"Well, it does sound like something that you would do." Rachel says.
"God, I'm so tired of people judging me for a few mistakes I've made." Puck says, "I try to be a good guy. I go to school, and I say, 'be cool, Puck. Be nice.' But by second period, I've got a fire extinguisher in my hands and I'm spraying some dweeb with it, and I don't know how I got there."
Rachel sits next to Puck, "I understand. Yeah." She says, "I sit in glee club, and I watch a couple of imperfect performances and a litany of criticisms just start building up inside of me like a volcano and I keep telling myself to hold it in and then it just comes bursting out. Granted, generally I'm right, but doesn't do much for my reputation."
"It does suck when you do that." Puck says. The two look at each other for a while.
"So, uh, how do you think we can get people to see us differently?" Rachel asks.
"I don't know." Puck says still looking at Rachel. Puck leans in to kiss Rachel, but Rachel pulls back.
"I can't-I can't do this." Rachel says.
"You know, whoever made that glist is going to put you at number one when they find out you cheated on that Jesse kid with me." Puck says, "Besides, Jesse will never fully understand what it means to be a Jew." Puck goes in again.
"Noah." Rachel says putting a hand on Puck's chest to stop him, "I'm ironically turned on by your bad boy image, but I think we should just keep this professional."
"All right, I'm out." Puck says standing up, "Why should I stay if there's no chance of us making out?"
"Noah, please come and sit down and let's work on the project." Rachel says following him to the door, "Okay, it'll help us both. I promise." She grabs his hand and drags him back into her room.
X-X-X-X-X
Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, Artie and Blaine quietly enter the library in full costume, "Looks like we got a full house, y'all." Mercedes says happily.
"I'm kind of getting cold feet here." Artie says.
"Ssh!" the librarian hisses.
"Team, listen up." Kurt whisper, "If we pull this off, we will be legends at this school."
Blaine rolls his eyes, "Why did I even agree to do this?" Blaine whispers to himself.
"We'll rocket up the glist." Kurt says, "We will be top-five, easy. Artie, pump up the jam. It's about to go down."
"You can't touch this. My, my, my…"
When the song ends the librarian gets up looking pissed, "Here it comes." Artie whispers.
"That was very cute." The librarian says, "I'm gonna talk to my pastor and see if I can get you kids to perform that for our Sunday service." The kids all look shook, and Kurt storms out the library.
X-X-X-X-X
"Look, I don't like doing this any more than you do." Mr Schue says, "But if I don't find out who made that glist and stop another one from being published, the whole glee club's going down. And I can't let that happen."
"Look, I know I've been kind of angry lately." Finn says. Is sitting Mr Schue on his desk and Finn is sitting across from him, "And sometimes I kick over chairs and stuff, but I didn't do it."
"All the pieces fit, Finn." Mr Schue says, "You have a very big axe to grind with several people on that glist. Quinn broke my heart, Puck betrayed your friendship, you're dealing with Kurt's dad getting your mom, and I happen to know you've had your ups and downs with Santana and Blaine…"
"I have nothing against Santana." Mercedes says, "And I like Blaine. Quinn's the one who as beef with them."
"Well, there are an awful lot of cheerios on that glist." Mr Schue says, "Isn't it true that you still feel like an outcast in that group?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." Mercedes says, "I like being a cheerio. And why does everyone just assume I'm angry all the time? It's called being sassy, Mr Schue."
"It's simple math, Mr Schue." Artie says nervously, "The glist are posted at a height of five and a half feet, comfortably out of my reach. It could not have been me. And I have it on good word that…"
"I saw Puck putting up the glist in the hallway." Tina says, arms crossed.
"I was moving it!" Puck says, "Somebody put it up on Rachel's locker, so I moved it. I was being a man, doing the right thing."
"Puck, at some point, the lies are going to stop, and you're going to start to sing." Mr Schue says.
"If I did it, why would I put myself at number three?" Puck asks, "As far as bad-asses go, I'm number wha. I'll say it again, I didn't do it!"
"Why would I do it?" Blaine asks.
"I don't know." Mr Schue says, "Why would you?"
"I admit, I don't like many of the people in the group. But if I made it, I would've been number one."
"Rachel did it." Quinn says, "Think about it, I stole the guy she's in love with, then I solve the guy she dated to get over the guy she's in love with. And I'm kind of a bitch to her."
"Just doesn't seem like Rachel." Mr Schue says.
"She's gone behind your back before." Quinn says, "And I mean, who's to say that there's only one culprit?"
"Look, I know you know something!" Mr Schue yells slamming his hands against his desk, "So, we're not leaving here until I get some answers!"
Kurt leans back in chair, quirking an eyebrow, "Mr Schuester, may I be blunt?" Kurt asks.
Mr Schue sighs, "Shoot."
"Ever since you separated from your wife, you've spent a lot of late nights watching reruns of Law and Order, haven't you?" Mr Schue falls silent, "Hmm. Thought so. And no, I didn't make the glist."
Mr Schue sighs again, "Right."
X-X-X-X-X
"We're as menacing as Muppet Babies." Kurt says to Mercedes, Tina, Artie and Blaine, "Which means our squeaky-clean reputations are still very much intact."
"We have to do what we've been dreading, something more terrifying than Rachel's personality." Artie says, "We have to go to Sylvester and admits that we posted the Physical video."
"But we'll get suspended." Tina says, "I don't want to be suspended."
"And it will be worth it." Kurt says.
"Finally, something that will actually effect our reputation." Blaine mumbles.
"Finally, the entire student's body will see us as bad-asses." Kurt says.
"When are we going to do it?" Mercedes asks.
Kurt thinks for a minute, "Tomorrow." He says, "She's gonna kill me." Kurt says excitedly. Blaine and Mercedes share a confused look.
The next day Kurt, in his cheerio uniform, stands in front of Blaine, Mercedes, Tina and Artie, "Remember, if Sylvester hits you in the face after you cop to posting the video, don't scream like a woman." Artie says.
"You're so brave for doing this, Kurt." Mercedes says.
"I know." Kurt says, "Thank you."
"Oh, my god…" Mercedes says when she sees Sue walking down the hallway. Kurt turns around to Sue.
"Coach Sylvester, can I have just a minute of your time?" Kurt asks.
"What do you want, lady face?" Sue asks.
"You're aware a tape was leaked onto the internet, causing you to become a national laughingstock?" Kurt pauses taking a dead breath, "We stole the tape from your syringe-and-pill drawer. We posted it online. We'll accept whatever punishment you see fit."
"So, it was you." Sue says, "I can't thank you enough." Sue walks off and Kurt looks shocked.
"She wasn't angry at all?" Artie asks.
"It was weird." Kurt says.
"Maybe the comments online have gotten so mean, people have started to feel sorry for her." Tina says, "She's finally getting some sympathy, so she's in a forgiving mood."
"Wait a second." Kurt mumbles, "Take a look at this."
Kurt starts a video of a remake of the Physical music video with Sue, "Whew!" Mercedes says when the video ends.
"Again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again!" Everyone chants for Kurt to play the video again.
"Okay." Kurt says starting the video again.
X-X-X-X-X
"All right, guys, listen up." Mr Schue says, "Another week has almost passed. If a list goes up again later today, this issue is out of my hands, and it becomes Principal Figgins' jurisdiction."
"Seriously, Mr Schue, whoever made that list is not gonna come forward." Finn says, "We might as well just bend over and take whatever's coming."
"Fine." Mr Schue says, "Okay. Well, then, uh, let's get to it. Rachel, how about you show us your bad reputation project?"
"I'd like to say a few words first." Rachel says, standing up in front of everyone, "Though I understand that a motion picture should stand on its own, I do realize that some of you are not well-versed in the complex vocabulary of the filmic arts. I expect that this video will go over some of the heads of our less-cultured teammates. So let me just say I hope you enjoy my bad reputation. Lights! Okay, go." The lights go out the video starts.
"Daddy, please don't, it wasn't his fault, he means so much to me! Daddy, please don't, we're gonna get married, just you wait and see…"
Some of the new directions clap, "Well, why don't we just, um, take a moment to really absorb what we've just watched."
"This is garbage!" Finn says.
"Finn!" Mr Schue warns.
"No, he's right." Puck says, "First of all, I need to trust my instincts more because I had a feeling when we were shooting that, that it was not going to be good."
Mr Schue goes to say something, but Jesse interrupts him, "Why didn't you tell me they were in this, too? I thought you and I were going out. Being triple cast with two other guys to play opposite your girlfriend? It's mortifying."
"It was an artistic statement." Rachel argues.
"No, it wasn't!" Finn says, "It was you trying to look like you had a bunch of guys fighting over you so you could stop looking like some kind of outcast and be seen as some hot, slutty girl singer!" Finn stands up, "How could you do this to me, to all us guys? Is your stupid reputation more important than your relationships?" Finn walks out.
Jesse stands up and walks out too, "Jesse, wait!" Jesse doesn't respond, he just walks out.
X-X-X-X-X
Mr Schue exits Emma's office to see Quinn struggling to get through the halls, because people kept ignoring her and shoving her, "I know you're behind the glist." Mr Schue says.
"You have no proof." Quinn says, "I can't believe that you're gonna to pin this on me. I'll be expelled! I mean it makes sense. Everything else has been taken from me, my popularity, my body. Might as well throw away my education."
"You know when I realized that you did it?" Mr Schue asks, "The moment I felt what it was like to walk in your shoes. I mean, it takes years to build a good reputation, but only seconds to destroy it. Couple bad choices, and you go from the top to the bottom." Mr Schue squats in front of Quinn, who is sitting on a chair, "You have lost so much, Quinn. Which means you had the most to gain from the glist."
Tears start to stream down Quinn's face, "I never meant to hurt anybody."
"I know." Mr Schue says.
"I-I was captain of the cheerleading squad, president of the celibacy club. I had Finn. People would part like the red sea when I walked down the hallway." Quinn says, "Now I'm invisible."
"And you think being seen as a cheap tramp is better?" Mr Schue asks.
"A bad reputation is better than no reputation at all." Quinn says.
Mr Schue shakes his head, "Look, I know that high school feels like your whole life right now, but it's going to end. You're gonna to give that baby to a family who really wants it, who's going to love it, and then you are going to go on to do amazing things, Quinn."
"You really think that I can get it all back one day?" Quinn asks.
Mr Schue sighs, standing up, "No." Quinn looks at him with a shocked face, "I think you can get something even better. I mean, come on. You're Quinn Fabray, right?" Quinn laughs, "I mean, those people didn't part when you walked down the halls, you moved them with your attitude."
"Thanks, Mr Schue." Quinn says standing up, "You're a really good teacher, even if everybody is calling you a man-whore."
"You wanted to see me, William?" Figgins asks entering the choir room, "I trust you have come up with a perpetrator of the glist."
"I, um, I grilled every single one of my students, and, uh… no one." Mr Schue says, "No one copped to making the glist. They all closed ranks and wouldn't rat out who did it."
"That's poppycock, Will." Figgins says, "I will not let this school be held hostage by juvenile shenanigans."
"I know, but… I mean, you point has been made." Mr Schue says, "The glists have stopped. I think we should just call this a victory and move on."
"Fine." Figgins says, "I'm still praying for you, Will." Figgins whispers.
"Thank you." Quinn says once Figgins has left.
X-X-X-X-X
Rachel shuts her locker to see Jesse, "Hi." she says nervously, "Are you still mad at me?"
"You know, before I transferred here to make you my girlfriend, I asked around about you, found out your rep, what kind of girl you were."
"What did they say?" Rachel asks.
"Most of them had no idea who you were." Jesse says, "The ones that did said you were kind of sneaky hot, but that that quality was cancelled out by a compulsive need to be right and a strange affinity for sweaters with animals on them. The most interesting part was… that, even though no one particularly liked you, they all said you were a person who could be trusted."
"I still am." Rachel argues, "I have this pathological need to be popular, okay? I-I just want people to think I'm cool so bad sometimes that it just clouds my judgement. Okay? As a fellow star in the making, I-I'm sure you can understand that."
"On that level, sure." Jesse says, "But as the guy who gave up everything to be our one and only, I just can't see past this. I should have been enough for you, Rachel."
"I knew you'd break my heart." Rachel says.
"Well, that's the funny thing about reputations." Jesse says, "Everyone thinks, I'm the big heartbreaker, but that fact of the matter is… you broke mine first. Do me a favour. If we end up next to each other on the bat at ballet club this week, just do your arabesques and piques in silence. Don't talk to me." Jesse walks off, and Rachel leans against her locker, tears in her eyes.
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