And the Rest is History
40
Doppelganger
The alternate universe's S.H.U.S.H. was in the same three story sandstone building, but this one was unmarked. Not even a flagpole stood to attention. J Gander Hooter had a feeling of misgiving as he stepped across the tiled floor devoid of the justice emblem to the front receptionist. It looked in here like some kind of casual hotel rather than the bustling police-assist department he'd just come from. There wasn't a hint to be seen anywhere that a government funded organisation's flagship office operated within these walls.
"Excuse me." He addressed the receptionist behind the desk, "I'm from an alternate universe. My name's J Gander and I'm making an enquiry for a-" he cleared his throat, "an 'important witness' who has gone missing. His name is Larkis Dovesworth."
"Hold on, just a second."
He waited.
"Protocols require a DNA sample to assess your ID record against S.H.U.S.H. personnel files."
J Gander stopped, blinking at that. "Forgive me, but I'm from an alternative universe," he repeated. "For all you know, I can have exactly the same DNA but work for... F.O.W.L."
"I still need to verify your ID, sir."
J Gander shrugged uneasily. He plucked a feather for the sample checker machine. "James Gander Hooter." He recited his name. "May I ask what protocol this is?"
"Darkwing Duck protocol, sir. We have at least one agent with at least one doppelganger."
"Well, I'm telling you I 'am' a doppelganger..." He frowned.
The receptionist handed him a lanyard. "Director's office first floor west side."
What on earth was this nonsense? J Gander frowned at the plastic card hanging on a shoelace; "You cannot just 'give' me free access to a highly secure area of the building. That security check is anything but sufficient!"
"Sorry sir, we don't have the staff to meet the requirement you specify."
J Gander frowned in resignation, "I see 'that' problem has decided to repeat itself."
Up the stairs, the onset of doors in all four directions was highly confronting and filled him with foreboding. J Gander stepped up to the west door. It was locked. The plastic card from the receptionist? He pressed it to the security panel and the door unlocked with a click.
Through the door he stepped to discover himself in a tight corridor.
Anxiety filled him.
I'm in a coffin!
It took several moments for J Gander to brace himself against the irrational feelings. Coffins didn't have multiple doors, coffins were a great deal more confining than this. This was just a corridor designed to give the feeling of being trapped in a confined space. This was merely a practical exercise in resisting psychological terror.
There is no coffin. It's the same path; only narrower.
J Gander pressed on. He knew 'where' the director's office was. The additional walls and doors were merely attempts to addle and confuse him. For someone who had spent almost his entire working life in this place, he immediately knew which doors were right and wrong.
A few intervening doors saw him through to the PA desk. Different again. It was cleared and vacant; a disused desk. No one worked at this table. This meant that the director had no personal security.
Another ill-feeling for the pot. His feathers prickled uncomfortably as J Gander knocked on the door.
The door opened and the towering form of Vladimir Grizlykoff appeared. J Gander stared up at him in absolute amazement.
"Director Grizlykoff?" He asked uncertainly.
"Yes," Grizlykoff smiled.
"I'm J Gander." J Gander hurried before the situation got worse, "from an alternate-."
"Yes, I am informed. Larkis Dovesworth is a name from very old files in system, but he is in our system."
J Gander sighed in relief, "Well, thank goodness he's somewhere. He vanished while in the middle of giving an account. We were able to trace his residual signature to this universe and recreate a passage. It's a matter of importance that we find him; he seemed very distressed about the subject he was attempting to recount."
"What account was this?"
"Unfortunately we didn't get very far before he disappeared," J Gander shook his head, "Something caused him physical injury and frightened him terribly while doing so. So you can see, sir, how we are doubly concerned about finding him."
Grizlykoff was silent, studying him. "Perhaps we get coffee. Is time for break and one cannot function without." The director shut his door and led J Gander back through the narrow corridors.
J Gander followed silent and puzzled. What an odd encounter. Was it seeing someone alive who was dead? Or how exceptionally calm Grizlykoff's mannerism was? J Gander checked his watch. 10:20 am. Close, but no schedule. Chaos! Who was this fellow?
The coffee smelled the same.
J Gander sat down opposite Grizlykoff at the table. The set up wasn't too different from his universe, the wide sunny windows to his right, the kitchenette to his left.
"May I ask how you manage without a personal assistant? I would surely go mad."
Grizlykoff smiled, "She is training cadets. Computer run schedule, receptionist at front desk; is best can do."
J Gander frowned, "I am sorry you've been left in such a predicament. It is very difficult to find the person with the standing qualities required for Assistant Director."
"Yes, is true." Grizlykoff looked into his mug. "Biggest difficulty is maintaining Protocol 5 adherence."
J Gander nodded. "You can't promote."
"I figured way around that." Grizlykoff smiled, "Applied principle learn from army." He drank. "Is good for comradery."
J Gander smiled at that, then frowned, "But you're still addressing protocol 5 as an issue. But it's simply a matter of your own conduct."
"Ya, but also there is nobody to check me."
"Ah." J Gander sank back unhappily. "The luxury afforded by a team."
"Protocol 1."
"Indeed." J Gander looked to the rich brown liquid in his cup, "For whomsoever shall be bound..."
"Sorry?"
J Gander shook himself to attention. "We are a team. We fight together we confer together, we pool our resources together."
"Ya, but what about filing?"
"Is there a point of contention I'm not aware of?" J Gander raised an eyebrow.
"I am merely seeking your opinion of matter."
"Hum. Very well. My opinion is: 'What is S.H.U.S.H. if we cannot collect the data we gather into something useful?' May I ask the purpose of this verification check?"
Grizlykoff shrugged. "Does S.H.U.S.H. run well in your universe?"
J Gander straightened. "I say it runs very well."
"You not have staffing issue?"
J Gander cleared his throat, "The Assistant Director appreciates quality over quantity. What of your office?"
"Ah, good." Grizlykoff straightened in his seat, looking behind J Gander.
J Gander turned in his seat to stare in astonishment at the two individuals walking into the cafeteria. He stood up.
His suspicion of his duplicate's death was unfounded to see him standing there and beside him in a starchy purple stood a vision deeply entrenched in his mind. The purple was catching.
"Darkwing Duck." The name slipped J Gander's beak and he admonished his lapse, "Forgive me; I'm J Gander." He frowned upset at himself, "I'm looking for a person called Larkis Dovesworth."
His duplicate's face immediately contorted, "You're looking for a very dangerous individual."
"You're from the mirror universe?" Darkwing enquired in a lighter tone.
"Mirror universe?" The duplicate repeated.
"Larkis recently came to my house looking for help," Darkwing explained, "I'm of the opinion that if we can find the creature that caused the metaflux, we'll be able to discover, or even persuade it, to fix the problem."
'Metaflux'?
"You haven't filed this." Agent Hooter noted in frustration.
"It's not a S.H.U.S.H. case." Darkwing stated, "He came to me personally for help. For one thing, you know he'd never come to S.H.U.S.H. for help."
"Have you shared S.H.U.S.H. files with him?" Agent Hooter asked heatedly.
"He's entitled by law to his own medical report," Darkwing replied in irritation. "Would you rather take it up with me, or the court, Hooter?"
J Gander sighed, "So, I see 'you' two don't get along... Look, we need to find this fellow; by the way he was talking it was very serious and that's not something we tolerate in our universe and as I hazard a guess; neither do you."
"He'll come back when he can." Darkwing advised in a mild tone.
J Gander stared at his quiet calm in horror, "But what if he doesn't come back?"
"Then we can't help him with his problem."
What was this attitude? "My goodness." J Gander breathed. "You're someone else."
"And you're not S.H.U.S.H." Darkwing returned casually.
He'd been waiting for this one, J Gander frowned, "I never said I was working for S.H.U.S.H.."
"But you are S.H.U.S.H.," Grizlykoff interrupted from behind. "In fact, director."
"I have only given my name." J Gander turned to Grizlykoff, "Director, may I strongly suggest you enlist a protocol officer to examine the machinations of this office in light of the alternate universe duplicate phenomenon." He held up his lanyard. "I could be the worst possible version of myself. That's something you need to know well in advance of meeting me."
J Gander frowned, turning back to Darkwing, "So help me if we cannot find this man quickly the matter will escalate and not necessarily in a manner you appreciate."
"What are you threatening us with?" Darkwing asked seriously.
"Yes, it's a very vague threat." Agent Hooter agreed.
"May I assure you," J Gander swallowed, "It's not a threat; it's a countdown. We have till sunset. Then it's out of our hands."
Agent Hooter started. "I real-."
"Help him." Grizlykoff cut off Agent Hooter. "If he says is serious it is."
"Sir!" Agent Hooter objected, "We cannot provoke this individual! It is no small matter in the manner he killed Doctor Vykes."
"Then do not do what Doctor Vykes did; he cannot mirror if you do not do, is simple."
"Mirror," Darkwing repeated, "there's a mirror in his head."
"Nonsense." Agent Hooter left at a tempestuous pace.
Darkwing smiled at Grizlykoff, "We're right on it, sir." He said cheerfully and turned to leave.
"Thank you for your assistance, Director Grizlykoff." J Gander thanked him. Then he turned back and fell in step with Darkwing.
"Is my duplicate always like that? Going off in a huff?"
"No, well, I mean, it is usually him, but I do it sometimes. Like that time he exploded a truck in my face. I was seriously not happy with that."
J Gander swallowed. "I'll make a note not to do that."
They came up on Agent Hooter glaring at a standing computer station. He turned away from the computer, passing between them as he left. "Larkis Dovesworth lives in apartment 506 in the Listrum building."
J Gander hurried after him, "You found him very quickly."
"There are only three buildings he could be living in and two of them aren't tall enough."
The three crossed the road and got upstairs to the door marked 506. Darkwing knocked. "Mr Dovesworth? You were talking to someone earlier today?"
The sound of silence.
Darkwing sighed, "If he was here he's gone ou...t the window what-are-you-doing?"
Agent Hooter jimmied the lock. "Call me manically curious of the man whose been watching me for forty years." Agent Hooter opened the door wide and stepped inside.
Darkwing sighed in displeasure and followed.
J Gander stepped in after them, looking about at a strange sort of science lab. "What is all this to-do?"
"He's a paranormal investigator." Darkwing answered.
"It looks like he was investigating you rather than me." Agent Hooter picked up a book. "History texts from the library."
"Old fashioned blood work tests." J Gander noted the small half empty vial of blood in the rack on the table.
"Oh. That's mine too." Darkwing stated in a mild tone, considering the wide open window and the billowing curtains.
That was very emotionless! J Gander looked up from the blood sample, "Good heavens are you alright?"
Darkwing turned to him, raising an eyebrow. "Yes, are you alright?"
"You're taking this exceedingly well."
"He's a detective who came to me for help."
"How did he get your blood though?" J Gander prompted.
"Um, I was unconscious while there were no snipers on the roof. He had sufficient cause to want to check it."
"I told you!" Agent Hooter stated, stopping his brief search through the folders in the top archive box.
"He hasn't been violent, Hooter. In fact he rescued me from Doctor Bellum." Darkwing argued back, "And he asked me for help."
"You speak so strangely." J Gander commented, "In one second I know you and another I don't." He looked at the blood sample again.
"If we've frightened him off then we've failed. No matter how many times we manage to catch up we will always fail." He sighed regretful. "I'm sorry. There's nothing more we can do." He turned and left the apartment.
They followed him back to the lift, "You're giving up this easily?" Agent Hooter asked.
"We've established that Larkis Dovesworth lives here, but unfortunately unapproachable by S.H.U.S.H.. One must attend to matters they can be of any use; Director Grizlykoff was seeking my attention, I will see what I may do to help him."
"And you're not bothered about it?" Agent Hooter redirected. "What about this threat you were giving us earlier?"
J Gander shook his head, "One can't dwell on the inevitable; we simply have to manage ourselves around it."
"My goodness, you killed SQ." Agent Hooter breathed as the lift doors opened.
J Gander tried to remember 'SQ', who he may have killed, if inadvertently. They left the building.
J Gander stopped as they got to the curb, shaking his head. "Sorry. You're going to have to jog my memory."
"SQ: tag 'vampire'." Agent Hooter answered.
"We have no vampire agents by that abbreviation."
"Forty years ago." Agent Hooter added.
"We didn't know about vampires forty..." J Gander paused, considering. They made off across the street.
They got to reception. J Gander turned, "Agent Hooter, are you telling me there is a hostile vampire situation in this version of St Canard?"
Agent Hooter stared at him. "I'm not currently appraised of the situation, but-."
J Gander cleared his throat, "Thank you, Agent, I'll add it to the agenda." He turned to the receptionist, "Agent Lorres, I have today. I cannot guarantee tomorrow. Please schedule a meeting for me with Director Grizlykoff at his earliest convenience. I'll wait for him in the cafeteria." He turned, "Thank you for your assistance, agents. Feel free to return to your prior engagements."
As he walked away, just out of regular hearing distance, he heard:
"What do you think of that?"
"I kinda like him."
"Oh, for goodness sake." Agent Hooter uttered. "How far off are you with the program?"
"And I thought 'I' was the one without any emotional control."
"That's not an answer."
"And you're not my boss."
J Gander cringed. Low level resentment. That was the most emotion this Darkwing had.
There was something seriously wrong with this universe.