Doctor Megumin

"Hack! Gah! My head!" Kazuma clutches his forehead feeling like it might split open. He gently lays back down on the bed sniffling and letting out a small groan.

"Oh, quit whining, Kazuma! We all know you're just faking it to avoid quests." Kazuma shoots her an annoyed glare and tries reaching out his hand in a futile attempt to strangle the useless deity in his room.

Just... a little closer!

"Aww, are you so delirious with the fever you would beg to me to take the pain away? Oh, gentle soul. Worry not for the gracious and fair goddess Aqua shall pray for your recovery and wish good fortune upon your health." He couldn't tell whether she is still mocking him or switched to her uncharacteristic goddess side after misinterpreting his attempted assault for reaching out as a cry of help.

"That's enough, Aqua." Darkness enters the room carrying a saucer holding a pot of tea and a cup. Megumin trails behind her and glances at Kazuma worryingly with rosy cheeks.

"Here is some ginger tea. We'll stop by Wiz's place to pick up any remedies for the flu."

"If it really still is a flu. And why do we have to go to that place again? Can't we just wait till he drops the act out of boredom?"

"Quit accusing me of faking it!" Kazuma shouts, "If I was acting, you would be convinced that I was gonna die a dog's breath! I take pride in the skills I developed from faking sick days to avoid school you know!"

The three girls all gave Kazuma a stern look at his boasting which he promptly ignores as he tosses to the other side.

"And besides, aren't you a-" Kazuma lets out a strained cough, "-an Archpriest? Don't you have some magic that can heal this?"

Aqua frowns, "Of course not, pathogens in this world may be similar to yours but here they have adapted magical resistances to healing."

Neat, so viruses can gain skills too. Wait would that mean they can become stronger overall because of magic. Could my immune system be at risk with an illness from another world!?

"O-oi Aqua, you did give me some form of magic immunity boost before dropping me to this world, right?" Aqua taps the bottom part of her chin as she ponders the question.

"Can't remember, but we'll see tomorrow if you ended up croaking overnight."

"Did you seriously just say that casually?"

Feeling parched, Kazuma tries to lift the pot of tea but quickly decides against it when another fit of coughs erupted.

"Let me." Megumin pours him a cup and holds for him. Kazuma leans in and takes a sip then retracts his head back. "Ah! Hot! Hot! Hot!"

"Blow on it then." she giggles, "Here, I'll do it." Kazuma watches Megumin bringing the steaming hot tea to her mouth and gently parts her lips to blow. His stomach became agitated and his heart began to race at the sight as she takes a few seconds to cool off the drink before bringing back to him.

"T-thanks." was all he could manage to say before taking another sip, "Mmm, still hot-"

"I can help with that!" Before the two could say anything, Aqua dips her finger into the cup of tea and gave it a small swirl. She pulls out to reveal the cup of tea is now purified back to cold water.

Feeling her own inner Detect Foe raising an alarm, Darkness jumps to her aid by pulling her aside and saying, "We'll be on our way to the shop now! Get plenty of rest, Kazuma. And Megumin can you please return the pot when he is done? Okay bye!"

"Ow! You're pulling too hard! Quit it!"

Hearing their voices finally disappearing in the background, Kazuma drops his head back onto his pillow and closes his eyes for a moment to brace for another headache. A faint humming grabs his attention as he turns to his side to watch Megumin happily disposing the purified water out the window and pours another cup.

What's she so happy about? Ah-

"Open up~" Megumin beams as she presents fresh tea before him.

"Okay..."

"Is it cooled enough?"

"Yes."

"Are you warm under that blanket?"

"Yes..."

"Do you-"

"QUIT TREATING ME LIKE A CHILD-!" Kazuma pulls back as he lets out another coughing fit. He had always dream being taken care of and spoiled by a harem of gorgeous girls while he lazes around and play video games. Yet when he saw how Megumin started treating him he realized he never thought what it really feels to be nurtured by someone who loves him. It's pleasant but also so embarrassing he could barely look at her in the eye with all the attention she's giving him.

Megumin was taken aback by his sudden burst then scowls at him, "Oh, it's not fun to be treated like a child, huh?"

She places the cup back on the stand then reaches her hand towards Kazuma's cheek and gently pulls it like a mother playing with her baby.

"My little Kazuma~"

"Hnngh!? Q-quit it!" Kazuma turns his face to pry the Archwizard's hand away and pulls the covers over his head. "Just who the hell are you calling 'little'!? Have you seen yourself in a mirror lately?"

"Aww, is widdle Kazuma grumpy that he has to spend the night without his Megumin?"

"W-what kind of response is that!? You should be sticking that barren field of yours out and shout out a line like 'Who you are calling little, you trash!'"

"Keep your voice down, you're going to strain that throat of yours even further."

Kazuma slowly pulls the cover down below his eyes to stare at the stranger in his room. He was expecting an aggressive comeback for that jab he made about her size again, but the words seem to just bounce off her ebullience.

"Oi, are you feeling okay?"

Megumin blinks at his response before replying, "Huh? What do you mean?"

"You're acting a bit weird… well, weirder than usual. Are you enjoying this?"

"I'm just trying to help, am I saying anything weird?"

Kazuma stares at her again trying to see if there's any deceit in her eyes, but all he sees is genuine confusion before she blushes and shifts away. "What's with that stare? Is there something on my face?"

"Nothing… if you don't mind, I want to get some sleep now." He turns over away from her trying to control his breathing to calm the butterflies going off in his stomach.

Megumin said nothing as she places the tea set back onto the saucer and carries it out of his room. Kazuma felt a pang of guilt striking at him for pushing her away like that but he couldn't handle the out of character treatment she was giving him, especially with his mind being scrambled by the illness. His heart was beating hard like the first moment when she confessed her feelings to him that fateful night. Being put into a test with his inexperience with relationships he was too afraid to give an immediate answer, afraid to say something that would jeopardize everything between them.

Damn it, why am I making such a fuss? I wouldn't mind being spoiled. I was just caught off guard and the way she was going on about it was too casual. Am I just being a child?

As Kazuma lays in his bed pondering about his actions, downstairs Megumin scours out the pot in the kitchen sink thinking back to what he said to her earlier. Almost as if she was broke free from a trance, she suddenly screams and throws the pot to the ground.

"STICK OUT MY 'BARREN FIELD'? How did I missed him saying that!? The nerve of that guy! I should just go back up there and blow up his-ah!" Megumin kneels upon realizing the shattered tea pot that belonged to Darkness.

"Ahh! She's going to kill me if she finds out!" She quickly cleans up the mess and disposes it. She ran to grab her cloak and wizard hat before stepping outside to find another pot before the two return from their trip.

Though the moment she charges out the door, her face was smacked against a cushy wall causing her to fall back on her butt.

"A-ah! M-Megumin?" Yunyun drops to her knees before the girl, "I'm sorry! I was about to knock but I heard a crash and thought- "

"Yunyun!" Megumin jumps up to her feet and grabs her rival by the shoulders. "Come with me, I need you!"

"You-you do?"

She flashes a kind smile to her fellow clan member saying, "Of course! You're the only one I can trust to help me in my time of need. Let's put aside our differences and help one another so that we may continue our destined paths as rivals!"

"Of course! Whatever you need! I'll do my best, I promise!"

"Now, to the antique store!"

"… huh?"

~/~

"Waaah, I should've known you would pull this trick on me!" Yunyun cries as she follows Megumin strolling through the streets while holding a bag with the new teapot in one hand and a popsicle in the other that she both ended up paying for.

"Quit crying, it's really your fault for not seeing through my scheme." Megumin waves the bag before her.

"You're seriously the worse! Why can't you get Kazuma to buy it for you instead?"

"He isn't feeling well…" Yunyun's expression softens upon the words.

"Oh. Well, never mind it then. You could've told me it was for him."

"Don't get the wrong idea!" Megumin snapped, "It was his fault to begin with for having an attitude with me for trying to help. He even said I was acting weird."

"I could hardly blame him, it's hard to imagine you helping someone that's not your own family."

"What was that? Are you looking for a fight?" Megumin brightly glares at the girl.

"I-I'm just saying that it probably just scared him-ah, no not scared I mean shocked-no wait, I mean it is his fault for overreacting! It's natural to act different to someone you care about when they're feeling ill, he should've been more considerate."

"No… I don't think he was trying to be rude." Megumin looks to the ground as the colors of her cheeks rose. "Maybe I was acting strange, but… just seeing him lay there, weak and helpless, he looked so cute and I felt a sudden urge to protect him…"

Heh? Cute? Kazuma? I guess when you're in love that's just how it looks to you… must be nice. Yunyun sighs. Despite her envy, she couldn't help but smile seeing how much their relationship impacted her rival. The same Megumin who had no interest in girl talks or romance during school now standing before her lovestruck and maturing.

"Megumin."

"Hmm?"

"If you want, I wouldn't mind helping you out with this kind of stuff. If you need a friend-I mean, someone who knows a bit about dating and relationships I can help fill that role for you. Even if it's just someone you need to listen to you, I promise to lend a hand in whatever way I can."

"Yunyun…" Megumin looks at her rival with surprise in her eyes hearing her words of affection. She gives a warm smile before it twists into a snarky grin, "Sorry, but what advice could you possibly give to someone who has already stand above you in woman status. You're like a student telling their master what they already should know."

Yunyun stares dumfounded at the girl gloating to her for a long moment before letting out a frustrated screech and charges at her.

"Eh, what's with you-hey! Let go of me! Stop! You're going to break this thing! NOOOO!"

~/~

Night has already fallen in past couple of hours at the mansion. Kazuma sits against his bed playing on his game console after recovering a bit thanks to Wiz's medicine. Though he's now able to have enough strength to leave his bed, his migraine is still plaguing him and the flashing lights from the game is forcing him to cut it off early.

"Ugh… so bored," he groans, "To do nothing but sleep all day really takes the fun out of it. I probably wouldn't even mind going on an easy quest instead just to break the monotony."

With no other choice to do, he plops down onto his bed and pulls the covers over. With all the rest he's been getting, it would take a while for him to get more shut eye until morning. If only he wasn't contagious, he would probably be able to pass the night if Megumin is laying by his side.

His mind began replaying the moment when she was treating him earlier today. At the time it was embarrassing, but now thinking back he couldn't help but smile and feel warm inside. If only he hadn't pushed her away, he would've had a cute girl tending to his every need. To keep blowing on his tea with her lips, massage part of his body, and help him bathe…

"Kazuma, are you awake?" a muffled voice calls out to him from behind.

Breaking out of his thoughts, Kazuma pulls down the covers and turns over to be met face to face with a long beak mask staring at him with red glow from the eye holes. Suppressed sounds of breathing escapes from it as their eye contact remains over a minute long before Kazuma jumps back screaming.

"Calm down! It's me!" the Plague Doctor lifts up its mask to reveal the red eye party mage.

"Megumin? What's with the get up?"

The mage chuckles before striking pose, "I, Megumin of the Crimson Magic clan, have journeyed throughout the lands studying medicine under the Mad Doctor of the West in hopes to find the cure for her ailing beloved from a ravaging disease that is tearing the nation apart and taking lives by the minute. Will she discover the truth behind the Black Spores, or will death be truly do us apart?"

Kazuma stares at the brat displaying her chuunibyou stage again. The change from Explosions is quite a fresh of breath air but doesn't make it any less irritating.

"There's too many holes for me to even pick from that monologue, so I'll just ask again. Where you get the outfit?"

"… I had Yunyun buy me an Alchemist starter set and I thought this mask looked cool."

"What possessed you to take a sudden interest in alchemy?" Kazuma looks over her body. She's wearing the traditional black garbs you would see Plague Doctors would wear except the pair of black shorts revealing her thin legs with bandages wrapping each below the knee. He must admit that she makes a cute doctor without the mask which is now hanging above her head making her look like a dumb unicorn.

"If you wanted to dress up for me, you should've gone for a more suggestive nurse outfit." Kazuma smirks.

"This isn't for that kind of thing! I'm here to take care of you." Megumin shifts her head to the side however and muttered something about "Damn it…"

"Look that's nice and all but I'm already about to recover by tomorrow. Plus, don't you need to invest skill points to do alchemy in this world too?" Kazuma highly doubts that the Explosion obsessed mage would ever break her stubbornness and invest into a different skill.

"Don't have to! I'm the number one genius of my clan, combining ingredients and making potions is nothing to me!" She plops down and opens the satchel that was hanging from her side.

Despite the red flags blaring, another migraine erupts suddenly causing Kazuma to clutch his forehead. She did say that it was an Alchemist starter kit, so he doubts there would be anything in there that could kill him... hopefully.

"Alright, I'll bite. You got anything to ease this headache?"

"O-of course!" Megumin beams and starts pulling out various plants and flasks. She went to work using a mortar and pestle to crush some materials. Kazuma couldn't tell what she could be doing wrong since his expertise is no better but the amount of concentration and care she's putting into is easing any doubts he has about this.

Finally, Megumin presents him a small flask of bright liquid.

"Drink this!"

If anything, it's probably just a weak healing potion. Maybe that would at least lighten the migraine. Bottom's up.

Kazuma swallows the potion in one go, it was unexpectedly sweet to taste and left a weird tangy aftertaste.

"… so?" Megumin's face draws close to him, her eyes gazing into his with excitement.

"You're too close!" Kazuma pulls away, "I don't feel anything different… the migraine's still there. Is this just a regular healing potion?"

Kazuma looks back at the girl who is now staring in disbelief above his head.

"… what?"

"Huh? N-nothing!" she says but her eyes flicks back to the top of his head.

"… Megumin… What do you see?"

"… don't be mad."

"That's not going to be possible."

Megumin timidly pulls out a small hand mirror and angles it before him. Kazuma stares at his reflection to see a small sprout on the top of his head with two tiny leaves sticking out.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME!?"

"I don't know!" Megumin pulls out a small book and flips through the pages, "It was supposed to be a headache medication! Oh, wait should I have used only half of the root? Huh? The base was supposed to be boiled from bear's claw not tiger's?"

"Oi, you better fix this right now." Kazuma glares with intense rage, putting her signature eye glow to shame.

"I-it's temporary! I swear! But I'll get to working on a dispelling potion, that should fix it!"

After a few minutes of assembling the ingredients under the wrathful eyes of her patient, Megumin presents another flask before him.

"It looks clear, are you sure it isn't just water or some type of acid?"

"The clearness of it is the sign that's a dispelling potion! That's what the book says!"

Kazuma takes the flask in his hands and hesitates before bringing to his lips. If worse comes to worse and it ends up killing him, at least he can tell the Goddess Eris to punish her by giving her the worst luck for a day.

He gulps down the potion.

Megumin watches him carefully for any signs of trouble before she notices the sprout above his head suddenly fell and withers away.

"It worked! Kazuma! How do you feel?"

Kazuma silently stares at the pretend alchemist for a while before opening his mouth.

"Woof."

"… woof?" she repeated.

"Woof! Woof!" Kazuma suddenly jumps down from his bed on all fours and began barking loudly like a dog.

"Wha-stop making fun of me, Kazuma! There's no way a potion could accidentally turn you into a-oh, no actually it says here if administered all at once symptoms may include stomach cramps, itchy back, and causing the mind to revert into a canine animal."

"Arf! Arf! Arf!" Dogzuma prances around the floor before turning its eyes on Megumin with his tongue hanging out and panting.

"D-down boy! Just stay there while I try to recreate another dispel potion, I'll just have given you a couple of drops before-ahh!" Megumin was suddenly pounced on by Dogzuma who then proceeds to start licking her.

"S-stop! This is so gross! I-I'm not even ready! Ah! Not there!"

The door to the room opens and a certain blue hair deity pop in, "Hey! Keep it down you damn hikkiNEET! What are you even- "

"Ah," Megumin looks at Aqua as she's pinned down by Dogzuma who is still licking her face excitingly before turning his head to the goddess panting.

Without another word, the door closes.

Downstairs, Darkness is staring at the teapot Megumin brought home before they got back from Wiz.

"I swear there's something different about this thing… ah, Aqua is something the matter?"

The goddess walks up to the crusader, her eyes wide in horror and her mouth open in a frozen, inaudible scream. She looks up at Darkness with tears welling up.

"Darkness, I'm a goddess."

"… Yes, Aqua. I know, you tell us that every- "

"No," she interrupts, her voice cracking. "I'm a goddess. That means my life is much longer than any mortal in this world. I will see the rise and fall of new nations; I will witness the end of all living creatures and eventually humanity. I would probably live until time itself ceases to exist. And throughout all those years, I will forever remember that horrible scene. Forever and ever…"

"Huh? Aqua! Wait! What did you see!? Tell me!"

Meanwhle, Megumin manages to distract her pet by throwing around his pillow for him to catch while she works on another potion.

"Finally! Come here, boy!" Dogzuma trots over to her and tries to give her another lick before she grabs his head and tilts it back to give him a couple of drops.

I wouldn't mind for him to stay like this… but all that licking is too much. Wait, dogs do that as a sign of affection, right? Does that mean-

"Kazuma!" Megumin catches the man before his body drops to the floor.

"Ughh, what happened?" Kazuma lifts his head and notices Megumin's face covered in something wet. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing! It's just sweat!" she laughs nervously as her face went beet red.

Another migraine hits Kazuma causing him to groan in frustration.

"After all that? Seriously? Cut me some slack!" He turns his head to see Megumin already preparing another potion for him.

Silently as best he could, he tries to crawl away from her only to have his foot suddenly grabbed in an iron like grip.

Her eyes shone red as she turns holding another completed flask. "You're not going anywhere; you need to be in bed."

"Let go of me! Aqua! Darkness! Help!"

"Stop screaming! I'm just trying to help! Now swallow it!"

"I prefer your earlier moment than this! Is this what this is about!? Are you trying to punish me for pushing you away!? I'm sorry alright, now let me go!"

"Of course not! I just felt that I wasn't doing enough for you! I want to take care of you! So, let me take care of you!" Megumin props herself on top of him and tries to force the potion into his mouth. Kazuma grabs onto her arms while keeping his mouth shut but her surprising strength is taking over his weakened body.

I'd like for you to take care of me, but not like this! Was what he wishes he could say but is not letting her have the chance to even give one drop.

Megumin scorns at him before suddenly shifting her expression into a soft smile.

"Kazuma~"

"?" he stares at her change of demeanor as she leans her head towards him. Her lips purse together, and her eyes closes as the distance between them draws closer.

W-wait! Hold on! This isn't the time for that! If you think you can just coerce me with a kiss to let you poison me think again-

"Pew," she blows.

"Wah-hrmm!" the moment he opens his mouth she pops the flask down. His cheeks swell a bit from the invading liquid as he tries to fight back from swallowing.

Megumin rises and places her hands by her hips in victory. "See, that wasn't so bad! I made sure to check the right amount of ingredients and how to administer it this time. So how do you feel now, Kazuma?"

Kazuma slowly rises, his head facing downward away from her.

"Kazuma?" Megumin suddenly felt his hands holding both sides of her face, "W-what are you-mmm!?"

Her voice got cut out as she was pulled towards his lips. She lets out a small sound of shock but offered no resistance. Her heart pounds heavily against her chest and her mind races but the feeling swept her away and she relaxes as their kiss continues. Her mouth parted slightly to let out a small moan.

"-mmm!?" suddenly she felt a torrent of liquid flooding into her mouth. She pulls away and painfully swallows the potion and air together and coughs.

Kazuma lets out a cough too and spits, "Damn it, I hope tasting it won't affect me."

"What the hell!" Megumin grabs him and starts shaking, "How could you just take my first kiss like that just to force that potion I made for you into me! Why am I even surprised, of course that's how it would go! You're just a coward who only take a step further for his own benefit!"

"I'm not just going to let you experiment me like that! A-and don't call it a kiss, it hardly counts!"

Megumin lets go of his shirt and looks away while clutching at her chest. Kazuma scratches his head feeling his heart tightening by the guilt of his action. His eyes drifted to the mess around her alchemist's satchel.

I want to take care of you.

"I'm sorry. Megu, I- "

"Redo."

"Huh?" Megumin looks up at him with her cheeks red and her mouth fidgeting.

"If… if it doesn't count, then I want a redo… I want my first to be special, not just something that's done in the heat of the moment."

Kazuma gulps and kept his eyes on her no matter how much he really wants to pull away out of embarrassment. It wasn't fair to her, and he owes it to her that much. And if she was more than willing, what else could he say?

"Okay."

"Can you… do it again? Hold my face like before?"

Kazuma obeyed and gently caresses her cheek with his right hand. She holds it with both her arms, gazing into his eyes as their faces draw nearer again. Her unsteady breathing was taking in Kazuma's breath before their lips connect again.

Megumin closes her eyes, feeling the warmth spreading through her mouth. His hand gently rubbing her cheek with his thumb, making her tighten her grip on his arm afraid to let go.

Kazuma lets his hand travel to her hair, feeling it cascading through his fingers. He felt response through her mouth, it sounded pleasant and she made no effort to stop so he continues stroking it. Her mouth opens invitingly for him but before he could take the moment in, she suddenly drew back making a small pop from their lips.

"What's wrong?" Kazuma's blood ran cold, feeling afraid that he might've misread the situation and done something uncomfortable to her. But then he hears a loud cough.

"Cough! Cough!" Megumin covers her mouth as her head throws itself with each cough.

Kazuma suddenly felt an urge as well and ended up coughing along with her as well before realizing it to be out of control.

"What's-cough cough-going on!"

"I-cough cough-I don't know! I-cough cough cough-knew you might be contagious, but it shouldn't-cough-be this fast!"

Kazuma clears his throat and picks up the book from the floor. His eyes stopped at the phrase where the page was open on listing the possible symptoms of a failed potion.

"Accelerates-cough cough-sickness!?" he cries, "Why is that a symptom!? What is wrong with this-cough cough-damn world!?"

~/~

"Honestly, we leave you two by yourselves last night and not only did Kazuma got worse, but you caught it too Megumin!?"

Darkness folds her arms while staring at the two sick members of the party sitting on the floor with a blanket wrapping them together as they stare at the screen while playing the console.

"Don't blame me," Kazuma chimes in, "is this one's fault for not investing into alchemy skills."

"As if I'll take any points away from-cough-explosions. Investing in useless general skills is more of your alley." Megumin mutters while keeping her eyes on the screen.

"Ugh," Darkness rubs her temples and head towards the door, "I'll go prepare some tea and pick up more medicine. To think I would end up babysitting two sick people and a traumatized Aqua. I'm not even married, why do I have to be the mother…"

"What was that about Aqua?" Kazuma asks.

"Who knows."

Kazuma looks down at Megumin who is currently sitting in front of him. Suddenly realizing them being this close and playing games made him nervous but also strangely comforting.

"Hey, Megumin."

"Hmm?" she turns her head to look up at him.

"You, uh… let's make up for the time we lost and do a quest the moment we feel better. I'll let you pick, but nothing too crazy, got it?"

Kazuma looks away when Megumin continues to gaze at him in surprise before smiling brightly.

"Okay!"