How to care for your goddess

Megumin open her eyes to a dark bedroom. Her eyelids droop heavily, still fatigue by the need of sleep. Yet for some reason her body made her wake up at some odd hour of the night. She slightly shifts in her bed then heard a sound behind her. She feels something pressing against her body and looks down to see an arm wrapped around her stomach.

She turns her head to meet Kazuma sleeping soundly next to her. Her fog state mind had her forgot where she really was for a moment.

She smiles at her beloved. Watching him peacefully sleep away in this same bed with her. Feeling his arm holding onto her. She couldn't think of a time when she was this relaxed and comforted.

So enraptured by this endearing moment, laying embracing each other like lovers. Her mouth voiced her emotions out softly to him, "I love you."

Kazuma's facial expression stirs before her. A faint sound escapes his lips, but it was too quiet for her to hear.

"Oh, is he having a dream?" she whispers before turning back over to her side to let him rest, "Fufu, that's so cute."

"Hey… Luna…"

"Eh?" she instantly twists back to stare at her beloved murmuring the name of the bust receptionist lady from the guild.

Hey! What kind of dream are you having right now? Thinking about some other woman while you're lying in bed with me?

Kazuma stirs again before muttering out, "…mmm… quest… complete…"

Oh. Megumin silently withdrew her contempt. He seems to be dreaming about guild quests. Even in his own sleep he can't seem to catch a break.

She felt silly for getting so worked up but also feel a shame about it. It's not like he can help dream about other women. That sounds like something only a possessive girlfriend would get upset by. It's only natural Kazuma would have these types of dreams, knowing full well the kind of man he is. She accepts that part of him.

"-nnn… hey Wiz…"

Still doesn't make it any less infuriating to her.

But what would she do? Wake him up and shout at him for dreaming about other girls? Kazuma likes it when she gets jealous but even he would get disturbed by that. Not that she was thinking of doing that. Nope, not at all.

"-ah, Yunyun…"

"Excuse me?" Megumin covers her mouth after letting her voice out by accident. Kazuma's face twists for a bit but his eyes still didn't open.

Dreaming about my rival now!? I'm also starting to sense a pattern of what kind of girls are appearing in that head of yours!

No, I shouldn't be riled up by this. He's free to dream about whatever he wants. If we're to get married, then this is what I must get used to. That's right, this is a test! Another trial through this obstacle of love! I won't give up that easily, Kazu-

"Ohh, Darkness… are you… doing…?"

"…" Megumin squeezes both her fists. The first murmur sounded like a normal dream, and the other two were too vague to interpret. But this last one revolving around their fellow Crusader with such an open-ended remark… No, it could be anything! And like she says, she doesn't care if it is the case. Besides that one time when she literally did invade his dreams, she won't try to control the way he sleep. That was just a one time-

"-nn, Darkness… stop…"

Stop!? Stop what? What's going on!? Damn it why can't I go back to sleep already!? She flips the covers over her head hoping to suppress anymore of his dream talk. Whatever he says now, she's going to ignore it and let him sleep through his questionable fantasy.

Just think happy thoughts. Explosions. Big column of flames. Huge ice cream scooped like craters. Bigger breasts. Devastating sonic booms. Intense thought-provoking monologue. Kazuma. Two Explosions. Infinite mana.

"Megumin…"

"!" Her eyes shot open upon hearing her name. She turns over to Kazuma who is still fast asleep.

He said my name… am I in his dream now?

"-so soft…" his arm still holding onto her suddenly pulls her closer to him.

"E-eh? Soft?" she squeaks. Her face draws closer to his just inches apart from each other. Their bodies press together, sending waves of excitement through her skin.

"… really cute…"

Cute? Does he really think so? I guess I can be a little clingy… to hear him call me cute in his sleep. Now I just want to hear him say more!

"… so useless…"

… what.

"good for… nothing…"

Megumin slowly sits up and glares down at the bastard. Useless? Good for nothing!? Is that really something to say to someone who loves you!? Here she is worry about him dreaming of other girls when it's him who should be worry whether he'll live to see the sun again!

She carefully pulls her own pillow and stretches it like she's cocking a loaded gun and positions it over his face.

"What else do you have to say to me in there instead of my face," she says to the hapless man.

"piss off…"

Was that on purpose!? Why you little-

"-idiot goddess…"

She stops. Oh… he meant Aqua… That's a relief…

"-quit your… -arty tricks… hey! What are you… Get away from me!" Kazuma suddenly twists around in his bed and flails his arms about.

Did it just change into a nightmare?

"Let go of me-hrmf!?" Kazuma bolt up to be briefly met with a pillow to his face knocking him back down. He shakes his head and opens his eyes to the young girl who is currently frozen in position of a mid-strangling attempt.

They both look at each other for a moment. Kazuma with an inquisitive stare, and Megumin with a petrified look of being caught in attempted murder. He rubs one of his eyes to check if she's still there then says.

"Megu? What are you doing?"

She pulls the pillow to herself trying to think of a way to explain herself out of this. Telling him about how she was listening to his sleep talk is out of the question but the thought of it embarrasses her so much she answered too sudden with, "Nothing…"

"Really? Cause to me it looks like you were about to strangle me in my sleep."

"T-that's right!" she replies, "b-because this is a dream!"

She slaps herself mentally. What kind of stupid answer is that? Her mind is too tired from the lack of sleep and her worked up emotions kept her thinking about his dream.

He blankly stares at her. "A dream?" he mutters unconvincingly.

She squeezes the pillow to her stomach under his eyes and nods.

Kazuma's stare slowly changes into a smirk when an idea came to his head.

"Is that so? I'm having a dream with you, huh? You're not the real Megumin messing around in my head again, right?"

She has a bad feeling about this. Still not wanting to explain what happened she decides to keep the act going, "N-no?"

Kazuma moves closer to the now shaking girl. "If I'm aware of it, then it must be one of those lucid dreams. Which means… I get to do whatever I want."

"A-a-ah…" She nervously falls back onto the bed holding her pillow over her mouth. Kazuma holds himself up over her body and looks down at her.

"A Megumin that will do whatever I say… Hope I don't wake up soon, I want to enjoy this as long as I can."

She blushes and squeezes the pillow harder to herself. But her gaze locks onto his eyes. Kazuma was expecting a response by now but all she's doing is laying there. Like she's… waiting for him?

He begins to feel uneasy now. Isn't this a little too forward? He just wants a reaction out of her but she's being so meek and submissive. Silence hangs in the air as the two looks at each other, both not moving a muscle.

S-say something will you? He silently begs to her. Should he continue? He is the one instigating this. Or should he call it quits? But it would seem rather cowardly to go back now.

"Kazuma?" his name came out muffled under the pillow. Is she questioning his action or his reluctance?

He clears his throat, "I-if this is a dream then it's fine, right? No one is going to stop me right now. Like, right now. At this very moment."

She gives a shy nod.

"I-I mean it!" he cracks, "I'll do some… things to you."

"Like what?" she replies, still looking at him expectantly.

What do you mean 'like what'!? Are you trying to call on my bluff? You think you can wrest victory from my hands? You have every chance to stop me so I'm not forcing myself onto you.

Kazuma pulls her pillow down to reveal her lips before leaning in. Megumin lets out a short gasp but doesn't attempt to resist him.

She really is letting him continue. All it takes is a single 'no' and he'll quit. Hell, he's even open to any physical retaliation if need be. What is he going to do if she doesn't stop him? No, it's fine. He's just going for a kiss. They done it before. He was the one who made the first move on her. He can do it again no problem. Just a bit closer and it'll be done.

His face got hit by a small wave of her warm breath. Her breathing became unsteady as he draws near. A little light flash in her crimson eyes before she closes them then purses her lips together for him. Kazuma's heart pulses at the sight of her delicate face anticipating for his kiss.

Damn it!

His course changes direction and plants a kiss onto her cheek instead before pulling away. Megumin opens one eye while still holding her lips together and looks quizzically at him.

"D-don't look at me at like that…" Great job. Fantastic. Truly you are the man among men. He had no problem taking charge in quests. Diving into a poisonous slime. Drop kicking a priestess in public. And confessing his feelings to the said girl he couldn't bring himself to kiss even after they shared theirs before.

I'm such a coward…?

He felt her soft hands taking him by the face. Megumin smiles at him with a sense of longing in her eyes.

"It's okay, Kazuma," she gently brushes her fingers against his hair, "You're not doing this by yourself, you know. Let me help you, and I want this as much as you do."

His heart leaps. "You do know what you're implying here, right?"

"I know." Her hands move down to this neck. The contact sends shivers down his spine, but the gentle touch feels inviting.

It's finally happening, isn't it? After all those times he teases and entice her, they're finally about to cross the line. And all it took was waking up to a middle of an attempted murder. Just what was that about anyway-ah! No, focus!

But how to approach this? He may be a virgin but his knowledge about it surpasses hers and his is the older one here. Yet he still feels hesitant to take lead. He thought all the excitement and hormonal emotions would carry him through but this feeling… is way more intimate than he expected. Is this what they meant in saying there's a difference between sex and sex with someone you love?

Or is it just because he's a virgin?

He gives up. "What would you… like me to do?" he asks, feeling the heat of embarrassment in his cheeks.

"Um…" Megumin reaches to her shirt by the shoulder and pulls it down exposing her collarbone. She begins to fluster herself then says, "It's a good place to start, right?"

"I'm impressed… Here I thought you were clueless about this."

"Shut up! And are you seriously salivating? I'm not a snack!"

"I beg to differ," Kazuma's confidence suddenly increased seeing her getting flustered. He draws in and presses his lips against her soft skin. Megumin lets out a squeal and clutches him closer. Her cute sounds and the way she reacts is making him want to keep on going.

"Ah… Kazuma, don't… sto- "

Chink!

He stops. The two open their eyes to the loud sound and turn their heads at the window of the bedroom. Another object suddenly hits the window again creating the same noise.

"…" they look back at each other and nod in silent agreement to ignore it. Megumin pulls his head back to her to continue.

Chink!

Just ignore it. He tells himself.

Chink!

"Just ignore it…" Megumin pleaded.

Chi-CRACK!

A larger rock hits against the window glass turning it into a web of shards. Kazuma pulls away from Megumin and lets out a frustrated yell before charging at his window.

He carefully lifts it up in case the glass comes showering down on him and sticks his head outside.

"WHAT-ACK!" Another rock came flying and struck him in the face.

"Oh, hey Kazuma!" Aqua waves at him from the ground below as he rubs his stinging forehead.

You got to be kidding.

"What the hell are you doing out here!? Do you know what time it is!?"

"Of course, I do! It's tomorrow!" she flaunts her arms over her head in a celebratory cheer and falters in her steps from losing balance. "I need your help, Kazuma… someone put some type of seal on the front door and it won't open!"

"What? There's a magical seal on the entrance?"

"Yeah! Except it's more mechanical than magical and there was supposed to be this thing I have that unlocks it…"

He stares at her incredulously. "… you mean a lock? You're telling me you lost your keys and you're locked out of the house!? … Are you drunk? Where the hell were you!?"

"This was this BIG party in Axel! And I got invited to show off my amazing party tricks!" Aqua flaunts her arms to the side to demonstrate but instead of the usual waterspout trick, a jet of water just flows unceremoniously out of her palms.

"What did they pay you with? An open bar?"

"Actually, I had to pay to get in."

"THEN YOU WEREN'T INVITED!"

"Whatever! Can you just not close the door for me?"

Un. Believable. He was this close. This close to cross the boundaries of manhood only be to stopped yet again by another intervention from another goddess!

"Piss off! It's your damn fault for losing your keys while you were out partying and drinking away! Come back later!"

"Whaaat!?" Aqua shouted, "Are you seriously kicking me out!? You can't do that to meee!" She burst into tears and starts crying her lungs out much to his annoyance.

Kazuma ducks back in and shuts the window closed. But the glass shatters away letting the sounds of her wailing go through.

"Damn it… well, let's go use the spare bedroom and-what?" Kazuma turns back to Megumin giving him a stern.

"You're not seriously just leaving her out there?" she asks.

"You were just on board a minute ago on ignoring her!"

"I didn't know it was her! I'm not happy about it as you are but she's wasted! What if she freezes out there, or get a cold, or get attacked by something?"

"Fine, I'll go wake up Darkness then. She'll deal with it." Kazuma head towards the door before he gets pulled back by his arm.

"We can't just dump Aqua on her in the middle of night!" She holds onto him with both hands and give it a gentle squeeze. "Just let her in, it'll be quick. I promise we'll continue where we left off…"

"Heh," Kazuma looks away to hide, "If you insist, only because you clearly wanted it that baOWOWOW!"

Megumin crushes his hand between hers while giving him a glare. "I do, just as much as you for your information."

"S-sorry…"

~/~

The two steps out into the dark night and head out to where Aqua was previously last seen. When they turn the corner of the house where his bedroom window should be, they found the Goddess of Water currently lying on the ground.

"Aqua!?" They both ran to her.

"Huhhh?" Aqua turns her head at the two then waves at them, "My heroes… you really did come for me! Sniffs."

"What happened here? Did you flood the ground with your tears?" Megumin exclaims.

Kazuma was about to kneel next to her before he realized the ground is softened into fresh mud. It hasn't rained in the past weeks and Aqua is now totally caked in dirt. This is beginning to show the familiar signs of a bad night…

"I got bored waiting, so I tried practicing my party tricks." She shoots another spout of water in the air and beams to them like a child. A child caught playing with paint in the garage.

He facepalms and lets out a tired groan, "Idiot… Alright, the door's unlocked so get inside."

Aqua nods then try to jump to her feet. But her legs trembled, and she fought to keep her balance before her feet slips on the muddy ground. She lands face first into the dirt and lays there for a second before muffling out another cry.

Kazuma turns to Megumin and says, "Alright, let's head on in then- "

"Kazuma!" she shouts.

"Oh, come on! She already managed to get here on her own!

"I didn't get here my own," Aqua interjected and apparently done crying. She lifts her face up revealing a muddy face mask, "I ran into Wiz and she guided me home! She was so helpful I decided not to smite her to show my gratitude!"

The two stares at her in silence with contempt expressions. They weren't the only people that got inconvenienced by this damn goddess. Megumin lets out a yawn then says, "I guess you won't be able to wash that dirt off by yourself. Fine, let's get you in the bath."

"Whoa, hold on! I thought you said this was going to be quick. Why do we have to babysit this brat?" Kazuma complains as he jabs his finger into the goddess' cheek.

"It can't be helped. You got any other bright ideas?"

"I do, in fact. Observe." Kazuma rubs his hands then squeezes them together like he's about to perform a magic trick. He poses with one hand over his face and aims his other at Aqua.

"Create Water."

"AHHH-PBLPBLPBL!" Her face gets hit by a torrent of cold water. He's beginning to feel better about this night already.

Megumin slaps his arm away. "Quit it! She's going to catch a cold because of you! Just help me carry her in and I'll start the bath."

"Heh!?" Aqua gazes up, "Megumin, you're not seriously letting him wash me too! I don't want his lecherous hands upon my- "

"Who the hell are you trying to kid here!? Don't flatter yourself, that shitty personality of yours outweighs any of your qualities!"

Aqua puffs her cheeks and lets out a sobbing whine. "What's with that rejection!? You're more excited at seeing Megumin's body than mine? I knew you got a thing for lolis, you rude ass lolico-AHHPBLBLBLB!"

Megumin sprays Aqua herself with Kazuma's water spell somehow by squeezing his arm. He stares at it as she lets go and reaches down to pick Aqua up by her right side.

"Let's hurry up and toss this one in the bath," she said irritably.

"Oi, Megu you shouldn't make her stand up so qui- "

Kazuma's warning got interrupted by an immediate sound of retching. His muscles went rigid from the feeling of something warm hitting his bare legs. And the horrific smell of alcohol…

"Uhh," Megumin looks below his waist at the mess while also trying to avoid his seething glare. "I guess we're all bathing together now," she said with a strained smile.

Yeah, this is officially a bad night.

~/~

"Quit moving, Aqua!" Megumin pulls the goddess' head back for her to reach through her scalp to apply shampoo.

"It's going to get in my eyes! It burns!"

"Just keep them closed then!"

Kazuma sinks into the hot bath and watches the two struggles with each other on the floor. They're all in their own swimwear to make the setting feel comfortable between them but Megumin can feel the familiar perverting gaze upon her body. Which would not be so bad for her if she wasn't trying to wash their hopeless drunk party member.

Megumin covers Aqua's ears to speak to Kazuma saying, "I hope you're enjoying yourself over there."

"It's not my fault, there's just something alluring about that Crimson Demon birthmark…" He lowers his head further into water after receiving a glare but kept his eyes locked onto his target.

Megumin blushes and tries to angle her body away from him. But she realizes by swaying her hips it was causing the complete opposite effect. Bubbles started stirring near his face.

She rinses Aqua's hair with a pale before lobbing it at directly at Kazuma. He ducks inside letting the pale bounce into the water then reemerges with a smug look.

"Look at us!" Aqua flops away from Megumin onto the bath floor, "Bathing together like a family."

Weren't you originally against this? Ugh, the thought of Kazuma and Megumin pushing a baby stroller carrying Aqua is going to haunt him for days now. He much prefers the time when they babysat Darkness' little sister and played House. He sighs reminiscing the memory.

"What kind of thoughts is Kazuma having in that twisted head of his?" Megumin inquires as she sits by the edge of the bath.

"… I was just thinking you would make a great mother," he answers nonchalantly.

"Eh!?" Megumin turns her head to Aqua hoping she didn't hear it. Thankfully the goddess seems to be distracted by drawing on the puddles around her. The realization struck her.

"Yeah… she is like a kid, isn't she? Really puts a different perspective on having one…" She silently watches Aqua for a bit then turns her head to Kazuma. "It's been a while since we bathed together. If I recall, you were only down for it because you didn't see me as woman."

"And if I recall, you were completely against it then wouldn't stop bragging to people you did," Kazuma retorts.

"I wasn't bragging." she lied.

"Sure, you weren't. And I also recalled a particular line you said to me, when I made a hypothetical that you would fall for me and you claim that it would never happen."

"Huh?" she looks back at him with wide eyes, "Did I really say that?"

"Funny how things changed, you use to see me as some sort of perverted scummy NEET. And you ended up falling for me anyways."

Megumin scowls at him. "You're still all those things," she splashes the water at him, "At least you're not the same person who keeps treating me like a child. You were too eager back there before Aqua interrupted us."

"H-hey!" Kazuma shushes her, "Don't say that out loud! You're making me feel like I'm committing a crime or- "

Big mistake. Megumin grabs him by his shoulders, "What was that!? So, you are still treating me like a kid! Fine! Let's tell Aqua here what you were just doing with this 'kid'! HEY AQUA!"

"NO!" Kazuma grabs her arms and pulls her into the bath with him just as Aqua turns her head.

"Ooh! My turn!" She stands up to do a running start and jump into the bath with them, but she slips after taking one step on a puddle and slams her face into the floor.

"Aqua!?" Kazuma and Megumin both shout out to her and climbs out of the bath.

"Wahhhh!" Aqua cries out as Megumin tucks her head onto her lap to comfort her while Kazuma grabs the first aid kit to patch up her nose. The two briefly makes eye contact with each other during the ordeal and simultaneously cringe.

We really are being like parents…

~/~

Kazuma gently lays the quivering goddess carefully onto her bed. She lets out a painful moan clutching at her bandaged nose.

"Is there anything you need?" Kazuma asks.

"I'm thirsty…"

"… you're a goddess of water, just make your own drink in this." He pulls out one of her empty wine bottles and places it on her nightstand.

"No! I want something hot!"

"For the love of- "

"-I'll make the tea," Megumin interjected. "Can you stay by her side just in case she… she-" she lets out long tired yawn and droops her head a bit.

"Do you want me to go instead? You look really tired."

"No, I'm fine… Just watch her and I'll be back in a bit," she says before exiting the room.

Kazuma pulls up a chair and sits by the groaning goddess. "You feel alright there?" he asks.

"Nooo…" Aqua replies.

He sighs, "That's what you get for drinking so irresponsibly. Honestly, can't let you go out on your own without it somehow dragging me into cleaning up your mess."

"I'm sorry…"

"You better be! You just had to choose tonight of all nights to- " He cuts himself off and looks back down at Aqua. "Wait, what did you just say?"

"Sorry… for ruining your night." she mumbles. She sounded almost in pain, like she was really being remorseful. As if she's capable of saying such things genuinely, especially to Kazuma of all people.

But she doesn't look happy or even annoyed. The girl that gave him the most trouble out of the group, the one that dragged him to hell and back, and the one who is responsible for his past deaths, is just lying there actually apologizing to him for smallest problem she made in comparison.

"Kazuma?"

"What's up?"

Aqua turns her head to him. "You mind if I ask a personal question?"

That came out of nowhere. She's clearly still intoxicated, yet she looks serious about something.

"Shoot," he says, crossing his arms for whatever ridiculous question she has for him.

"Why did you two keep it from us?"

"… huh?"

"Your relationship," she presses, "You and Megumin."

He silently sat there and blankly stares at the goddess as an eruption of thoughts floods his brain.

What!? Where did that come from!? Is she really drunk? Was this a whole act to pry this personal information from us!? NO, there's no way she's capable of coming up with something so complex and stupid! Why is that even any of your business!?

He felt like either yelling these questions at her or just bluntly shutting it down. But… it is true that they were hiding it from them, it's not like they had a bad reason for it. "What brought this out?" Kazuma says instead with a calm tone.

"At first it didn't make sense to me why anyone would be attracted to you…"

Why you little-

"But she seems even happier than ever, and even you started changing slowly. Good changes. I hadn't realized for a while until it came to light. It seems obvious now that something happened between you two, long before the reveal."

His mouth hangs open at the revelation. She sometimes does have those uncharacteristic perceptive moments but to think Aqua of all people would be able to connect those two together.

"We didn't…" Kazuma dryly swallows, "We didn't want to hide it from you guys, but we were afraid of changing things between us. Afraid of ruining everything we built between us…"

"But it's because of that you two never really got together, right?" guessed Aqua, "You two are stuck in some sort of weird stage before lovers or something?"

"Y-yeah… it wasn't just to hide it from you and Darkness, you know. We weren't… I wasn't sure how I felt at the time."

"Do you love her?" Aqua asks.

He had almost forgotten who he was talking to in the first place. At some point he's expecting her to laugh and call him a loli-zuma. Or something more degrading.

But she kept looking at him earnestly. Her question came out gently, not accusing or layered with disgust. Almost like she really cares. Is this the effect of her getting buzzed? Maybe he should let her drink more often…

But back to the question, Kazuma slowly nods then said, "When I think about my future here in this world… the idea of Megumin being with me puts me at ease. Like…" He stops himself. He already went through one confession, so why the hell does he have to relay it someone like her!?

Aqua however smiles like she got the answer she needed. But it quickly fades. "I never would have guessed that you two did it to protect our group, especially from you. But it makes me sad that you two were holding it back for our sake. Not even a date."

That you know of, since it was you who got in the way of that.

"But it's out now. Nothing changed in our group. Darkness seems sad but she's still with us too. I can't stay of course, Heaven needs me, but I don't mind sticking around till then."

Kazuma chuckles, "You trying to say you approve of us? After all those times you called me a lolicon or pedoNEET?"

"You're still all those things. It's Megumin's little sister I'm worried about."

"The only person here who should be worried for is you, you dumb alcoholic goddess."

The two gave each other angry stares before a smile crept up on Aqua's face. She lets out a gentle laugh, catching Kazuma off guard for a moment before returning a smile to her.

"Kazuma, do you mind getting closer?" she asks.

"Uh," he scoots his chair forward a bit, "How close?"

"Right up here," she answers. She gestures to the spot next to her bed for him to lean to. He wasn't sure if he should, this is probably a set up for a God Blow for making fun of her earlier. But he figures, hey why not, they seem to finally be on the same level for once. No back and forth bickering, no scathing remarks. Just them two being friends.

He does as he is told and hides his hand carefully underneath the side to hit her with a surprise Drain Touch if this turns out to be a trick. Aqua holds out her hand and points at him.

"By the power that is granted to me as a Goddess, I hereby grant you hero from another world with good fortune for the future of you and the Crimson Mage. May you two walk with my blessing and forever shine in the darkness."

She taps her finger onto his nose, "Boop."

"What the hell was that?" He recoils back and clutches at his nose. Did she just marry them?

Aqua giggles, "Just a sign of approval. I really do hope you two stick together. Don't tell Darkness what I did, okay?"

Kazuma rubs his nose questioning whether the sensation is actually magical or just a confused nerve. He smiles at her though, knowing what she meant. He never really thought of needing an approval from her, but she is their friend. Regardless of all the problems she caused him, it feels comforting knowing she's happy for him.

"Just so you know," Aqua says before letting out a yawn then turns over in her bed, "If you don't make her happy, then a torrent of rain will fall upon you and carry you out into the sea so that you may never return to land again…"

"… that was a joke, right? You really can't do something like that… right? Aqua?"

"Zzz…" the goddess' head settles motionlessly onto her pillow and lets out a soft snore.

Despite the rather ominous warning, Kazuma gently pulls the covers over her and quietly exits the room. He wondered what was taking Megumin so long to come back until he hears the whistling sound of a teapot. He heads over to the kitchen and finds Megumin resting her head on a counter near the stove. Somehow sleeping through the piercing sound next to her.

"You must have been pretty exhausted. So much for 'continuing'," he removes the kettle from the stove and cuts the heat. Megumin shifts slightly as the whistling dies down.

"your chorus… of death… no match… for me…" she mumbles faintly with her eyes still closed.

"Ha, having a grand battle in there?" Kazuma takes a moment to plan about moving her without disturbing her sleep. He manages to scoop her up in his arms as gently as he can and starts making his way to his bedroom.

"Kazuma…"

He looks down expecting Megumin to look back at him, but her eyes aren't open. A smile forms on her face and she snuggles her head against his arm.

Out of everyone in our party, you're always the one who needs the most protection. And that role is always dropped onto me. I always thought you were a pain despite that powerful spell of yours.

He smiles and heads up the stairs to his room. But I can't imagine my life without that now. I guess I really am stuck with you… the thought of that doesn't seem so bad anymore.

Kazuma carefully opens the door to his room and lowers Megumin onto his bed. He gazes out of the-oh, right the window's broken now and is letting the cold air in. Guess they'll have to relocate now.

"Kazuma."

He feels her hand pulling him back by his arm closer to her. Megumin sits up on the bed by her knees and looks at him lovingly.

"Hey, you should be asleep now the sun is probably an- "

"-shhh," she presses her finger to his mouth, "I still haven't forgotten. A Crimson Demon never goes back on their word…"

Oh God why can't you say something else?

She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him in closer. Their lips met and held together for a moment as Megumin explores into Kazuma's agape mouth. She pulls back for a moment to catch her breath and licks her lips.

"W-w-what's gone into you?" he chokes out.

"It's your fault… teasing me earlier, staring at my body during the bath, and carrying me to bed… Do you want me to stop?"

"No, please don't."

"Fufu, then why don't we- "

Thud!

"…" Both their faces immediately went blank as they hear a loud sound coming from the closet. Kazuma turns his head to face the door and stares.

"… Darkness? Are you in there?"

"… no," she answers.

"Have you been hiding there this whole time?" Megumin asks.

"… yes…"

"And let me guess, you hid there previously just before we headed to bed and when you thought nothing was going on you were about to leave but got stuck by a falling of objects in an awkward position and now you can't get out and need our help. Anything else that I left out?" Kazuma asks.

"… sorry."

Leave it to Eris to send her faithful paladin to finish where Aqua failed.

Author's Notes

Leave it to me to not let them finish.

I regret to share the news now that the story will come to an end in a next two-parter. Writing this story is a lot of fun and feels great to capture Kazumin moments but the restrictive theme I made and writing a progressive relationship through loosely connected story segments without an overarching plot is starting to take its toll.

The story is comedy first and romance second, so I'm afraid the final parts will not have such a satisfying ending especially compared to better Kazumin works on this site and the real deal (god can't wait for that translation) but I hope it's enough for you to enjoy these dumb moments. Thanks for reading!