Chapter 10: Wake Up Alone
Disclaimer: Again I still do not own Star Trek. Many things would have been different.
Author's Note: What do you guys think, should I write two stories that lead up to this one? One that takes place with Jim and Spock being a child and then the second being how they got together? How about if I get ten yeses/reviews for chapter ten then I will do it? How are you guys liking this so far? Any suggestions or concerns?
This has not gone through a beta but I will edit it when it does.
WARNINGS:
Bones was silent for a long while. "Jim…dreams are just that, dreams. They are nothing more than images that our brains make up to help your mental health. They help you work out problems that you are suffering. I am concerned about you Jim. First you are not sleeping and now you can't tell the difference between your dreams and reality. I don't like this Jim."
The younger man sighed and set down the glass of water now empty of its contents. "Maybe you are right. Besides it's late. I don't want to wake Sarek." Jim laid back against the bed pulling the light sheet over him. He didn't want to sleep. He didn't want the dreams that came with sleeping but he wanted to see Spock again. He needed to see Spock again. He closed his eyes hoping for a peaceful rest. He began to doze but forced his eyes open a crack. "Hey Bones…If my dreams are just that dreams…Why can I still taste blood in my mouth?"
Bones sighed and got to his feet. "You probably bit your tongue or something. Get some rest kid."
The former captain shifted in the bed before grabbing the pillow he took from Spock's room. He pulled it against his chest, squeezing it tightly. He could hear Bones in the other room getting a glass of water before making himself comfortable on Jim's couch. "Spock…if you really are trying to talk to me in my dreams give me something to go on. I don't like where you are in my dreams. Pick someplace else." He looked down at the pillow and sighed. It was the one with the animal print on it. He had gotten it for him as a joke but Spock had found it endearing. Even though he disliked the bright colors and overly simplified animals he slept with it every night. It had been moved to the guest room the same time Spock had moved in it.
Jim found himself walking along a shoreline. He was sixteen and reckless. Things were different since he got back. He couldn't stand the way these…idiots could complain about boyfriends being late on a date or because the waiter brought them a hamburger with onions instead of without. They then would send it back. He would have killed someone for the food they wasted. He had killed for less food then that.
His feet sunk in the sand which bothered him. It left tracks that could be followed. Leaving tracks would get someone killed. The ocean would wash the prints away. That was a plus. In the distance he could see a tall and quite lanky man sitting in the distance. He was looking at the horizon almost as if he was studying it. The man turned his head and stared at Jim.
Oddly enough Jim did not mind the way the man looked at him. It wasn't with pity like his mother and it wasn't with disdain like her newest boyfriend. So he had an attitude with older men, it wasn't like he was trying to kill him. Jim even had a reason to not trust men. Not after everything he saw. He could barely tolerate teens around his age and even then that was questionable on a good day.
Still the man that watched him wasn't being a creep. His eyes didn't hold the same sort of lust or hatred that he had dealt with before. He wasn't all that easy to read but Jim didn't feel the need to run from him. Instead he continued along his path and stood next to the man. He could feel the salty spray hit his feet. "First time seeing an ocean?"
The man turned from where he had gone back to staring at the horizon to Jim. "No. I was once in a ship under the ocean."
Jim tilted his head. "Marine biologist?" That was something. Maybe he could be a marine biologist himself. He could get away from Iowa permanently.
"No but I do know a thing or two about science. Is this your first time seeing the ocean?" The man asked before turning to look out at the sea again.
Jim stared at the soft points of his ear. "No but it is the first time I saw one on Earth. Alright this is going to be rude of me but what are you? I've lived in Iowa and I haven't seen anyone with a skin tone like yours or your ear shape."
The man turned once again to look at Jim. "I am a Vulcan. May I ask your name?" He tugged his sweater sleeves down making them cover his wrist.
"Jim. You don't act like how they tell us Vulcan's act." He sat down on the rock that the Vulcan was sitting on.
"No I suppose not. I have my captain to think for that. He is a great man. However, he seems to be having a difficult time at the moment." Brown eyes turned to look at Jim again. "His bondmate is unable to wake up. I am not sure why. As a Vulcan I can tell that his bondmate is aware of his state and cannot find a way to wake up on his own. He is not in a healing trance. What would you suggest my captain do? He is very devastated and seems to be overly reliant on his bondmate."
Jim couldn't help himself he snorted before laughing. "I would tell him to grow a pair and stop whining. Depending on others is just going to get him killed. He should know that as a captain." Jim leaned back on his arms and stared out at the sea. He missed the water of the colony. It shined so much brighter then Earth's ocean. "No such thing as love. The sooner he realizes that the better off he will be. I thought you Vulcan's were smart. Why don't you tell your captain that he should just move on?"
Those brown eyes filed with pain as the Vulcan looked away. "…Would you give up on your bondmate if it was you?"
Jim sat forward and looked at the other male. He seemed so much older than Jim but he looked to be about Jim's age. "If this is a pick up line your wasting your time. I don't do serious relationships. They don't work out and they are not fun at all. You have all the 'I love yous' and remembering important dates. Not interested."
The Vulcan chuckled and shook his head. "No this is not a pick up line. It is a simple question. Would you give up on your bondmate if he was unable to wake up?"
"No, I wouldn't give up on him. I would put him out of his misery. He isn't waking up. From the sound of it he won't ever wake up or if he did he would still be a weakness to his captain. I would pull the plug. It is far kinder then letting him suffer in a fantasy world." There wasn't any hit of hesitance in Jim's voice.
If it was at all possible the sad look in the Vulcan's eyes grew. "I would not have thought you to be someone so heartless or believe in no win scenario's Jim."
The teen snorted and looked away. "Well that shows what you know. And it isn't a no win scenario. I am saving the man from living as a vegetable for the rest of his life. To possibly be hurt or worst. It's called mercy. Sometimes…you have to be heartless…and get your hands a little bloody."
Somehow that felt wrong to Jim. As if that wasn't quite what he believed anymore. Jim rubbed his ear as a strange sound buzzed in it. "Do you hear that? What is that?"
The Vulcan would not look at Jim as he stared out at the sky. Storm clouds were rolling in. The sun had vanished below the horizon and the wind picked up. It blew sand everywhere and Jim had to squint. The water rushed in crashing against the rock spraying them with its icy drops. The wind ripped at Jim's clothes as the sky let loose its fury. Thick heavy drops of rain hit every surfaces drenching the two instantly.
"What is this? What is going on?" Jim had to yell to be heard over the wind. He looked around and noticed that they were now sitting on a lone rock in the middle of the sea. The air ripping at them almost pushing Jim off the rock. He knew he did not want to get in the water. If he did there would be no coming back.
"It would seem that someone is granting your wish Jim. They are granting me mercy." The Vulcan said as he looked up at the sky. "You should wake up now Jim. Before this world completely collapses on us." Finally, brown eyes met blue. Longing, love, and sadness filled the brown eyes as he stared at Jim.
The teen felt the ground below them tremble as more of the land mass broke away to join the sea. "What are you talking about?! This can't be a dream." Jim searched those brown eyes. He knew them. He had to know them. He has seen them a hundred of times. "…Spock…"
The rocks beneath Spock crumbled sending him into the ocean. "NO!" Without though or pause Jim flung himself after. He would not let Spock face this alone. The water rushed in over his head. It sapped all feeling from his skin. His arms and legs grew numb and yet he willed them to go on. To find his bondmate. Even if it meant death he would not lose him.
He swam in the darkness reaching out for where he could sense Spock. His lungs burned with the need for air. There! He felt Spock's hand. He just had to grab it. He had to hold on and get him out of the water. He wasn't ready to go there yet. But…his kids were there. They would be waiting for him. He could see them again. He would be with Spock and nothing would hurt anymore. He should just give up. It wasn't so bad here.
Something hot grabbed his hand and he felt it burn its way up his arm. Spock was there. He would be alright. He could give up now. He pulled Spock to him and hugged him close. He could close his eyes now and he would be with Spock and his children. Everyone he couldn't save before. They were sinking further and further into the dark. The burning in his lungs had stopped.
Jim opened his eyes as those warm arms wrapped around his cold body. If he gave up…he couldn't tell Spock how sorry he was. What about the others? His other children? Or Bones. It would kill Bones if they were never to come back. That would be okay. His kids were grown with lives of their own now. Bones had his baby girl. Spock father would be alone if Spock died. If Spock died…He couldn't let Spock die! With all of his strength he kicked his legs forcing them back to the surface. Spock could not die.
Jim fell out of bed gasping for air. He struggled to stand and walk. His body felt so heavy and the world would not stop spinning. He felt someone's hand on his shoulder. "Jim calm down! You need to stay still. I don't know what sort of mind voodoo that damn hobgoblin did to you but your heart stopped."
Jim pushed Bones' hand off his shoulder. "Spock…" He tried to take deep breaths. He couldn't catch his breath. He felt tears streaking down his face. He had to get to Spock.
Bones grabbed both of Jim's shoulders. "Jim, listen to me…The hospital called a while ago. He…Spock flat lined and they couldn't get his heart to start back up. His father left to see what he can do…but Jim…Jim stop!"
Jim shoved past Bones and ran. He grabbed the keys from off the table and got to the car somehow. He even got it started before Bones got out of the house. Spock could not die. Not without telling him he is sorry. Jim could barely see past the tears spilling down his cheeks. Twice he nearly got hit by a car before he slammed to a stop in front of the hospital.
He got out of the car only to be stopped by someone yelling at him that he couldn't park there. He ran up the three flights of stairs to Spock's room. He stood outside of it hearing the doctors yelling. He could hear Spock's father's normally calm voice. He couldn't make out a word of what was being said. Jim places a shaky hand on the door and pushed.
Author's note: Yes I just did that to you. Sorry for the two week wait. I will try to get out one or two more chapters this week. I know it isn't very long and I am sorry about that but I really didn't want to drag the dream out. See you next time. Grab chocolates and fuzzy blankets.