Up In The Air ch. 7
To say that I'm nervous about going to Santana's pool party today would be an understatement as I can't remember the last time that I wore a bikini as the kids have begged me numerous times to go the pool. Normally they would go with their grandfathers when they come up to visit or when we come down to Lima but I would make up some excuse to not go or I would watch from the sidelines. I have always ha issues with my self-esteem from an early age as I was often teased about my looks all through to my senior year of high school as the girls in my class would make little comments although I didn't seem outwardly effected but it still hurt. I couldn't understand why they do this even my Dads, Kurt and Mercedes have told me countless times that I was beautiful but I couldn't find it in myself to believe them so when Santana tells me that I'm beautiful, I want to believe her.
I feel beautiful when she look at me when she thinks that I'm not looking and when she does look my way, I'm left feeling breathless with my heart running a mile a minute under her intensity. I know that the kids are looking forward to this ever since I told them that the Latina invited us over for a housewarming party, inquiring about whether Beth and Charlie were going to be there although I'm a little bit apprehensive about the singer's friends. From what I've been told as they're at the top at their perspective fields which is a bit intimidating as I'm just a lowly waitress and I don't want them thinking that I'm around solely for the money because I'm not. When I told Kurt where the kids and I were spending day at, he squealed so loud that it nearly popped my eardrum before practically demanding we go swimwear shopping because there was no way that he was going to allow me to go unprepared.
I tried to explain to him that I wasn't planning on getting in the water so had no need for a new bathing suit but when the fashionista gets something fashion related, he's difficult to deter. After spending nearly four hours in the mall and arguing over what was consider age appropriate, we found an hot pink bikini with a wrap that ties around my waist although I feel practically naked. A part of me is worried that Santana would be disgusted by the stretch marks after giving birth multiple times as I just want to turn around to change back into my regular clothes when Bailey lets me know that he and his sisters are ready. I sigh quietly, knowing that there's no turning back now as the kids would be disappointed about canceling at the last minute especially since it was the only thing that they could talk about for the last few days.
I gather their things, checking and double checking that they have everything that they needed before locking up the apartment as the kids piled into Daddy's old Ford trunk that he gave me after giving birth to the twins because he felt better knowing that I had it. I type in the address that the singer gave me earlier in the week before pulling out of the complex, allowing Bailey to decide what to listen to within because there are certain songs that I keep them from hearing due to the messages behind them. It wasn't long before the Latina's voice fills the truck as the twins bob their heads and dance in their seats while my little artist silently sings along with his favorite artist to the lyrics and I have admit that there's something about the younger woman's voice does something to me. Oh God, that sounded so wrong. Her voice is very sultry and hypnotic as the lyrics are amazing as I can see why Bailey loves her music so much.
The drive was about fifteen minutes before I pull up in front of an impressive house that could easily be considered an mansion from the outer appearance as we walk up to the front door and before I could knock it, the door opens suddenly by a tall blonde woman. She could be consider a model or a dance with her naturally good looks as I was about to apologize to her for getting the address mixed when Beth comes into view, wearing a green one piece swimsuit paired with swim shorts. Bailey smiles before fist-bumping with his friend before disappearing into the house with Marley and Harmony following close behind as the blonde woman introduced herself as Brittany before pulling me into a bone-crushing hug. A chuckle is heard before a slightly shorter woman comes up behind us, telling the dancer to allow me to breath before stating that her wife tends to forget her strength at times and goes overboard with the hugs.
The shorter blonder introduces herself as Quinn and I remember Santana saying that the green eyed woman was her lawyer as her and the two blondes have been friends since they toddlers, attending the same schools all the way until their high school graduation. It's a little intimidating how gorgeous these woman as I wonder if the Latina might be settling for me but I didn't have time to dwell on said thoughts when the lawyer ushers me to the backyard were the party was being held. I'm quickly introduced to Noah although he prefers to be called Puck which I'm doubtful that I'll ever will, Mike and Tina who are currently in a relationship and incidentally have the same name and Mercedes and Sam are already here. I sigh relieved that there's two people that I recognize here so I wouldn't feel so out of place amongst these good-looking people as I look around for a particular face but finding no such luck when Quinn comes up besides me, smiling warmly.
I don't know why but I have a feeling that she knows that I'm uncomfortable but thankfully doesn't call me out on as she probes me about what I like to do for fun and I find myself relaxing a little as conversation easily flows between us. I don't have a substantial amount of female friends in my life as I never in the other moms since they judged me harshly for getting pregnant young and out of wedlock and not many people my age could understand what it's like to be a single mother. I laugh one of the lawyer's retelling of how Santana used to thinking that she could have been a rapper especially when she's had one too many shots of tequila with video evidence when I feel a presence coming up on the side of me. I turn to see that it's the Latina in a red bikini that hugs her curves perfectly, accentuating her physical fitness as her raven hair is curled in loose curls while my eyes roams over her foam appreciatively before coming to meet her eye to see the smugness.
I blush profusely at blatant staring before shyly ducking my eyes ducking downwards, taking an sudden interest in my sandals when my chin is gently lift upwards, locking eyes with the singer.
"Don't embarrass, mi Reina. I don't minding the staring as long as you're the one doing it" Santana said smiling warmly. "You look stunning as usual and if I knew that you were going to look this drop dead gorgeous than I would've invited you over sooner"
I didn't know what to say in that moment as Santana easily gives me compliment as I chalked it up to being part of her flirtatious nature while having it in my head that seeing me in a swimsuit would turn her off. I look her in the eyes to see adoration and sincerity there as I could help blushing further causing the Latina to laugh good-naturedly before muttering something in Spanish which causes me to shiver somewhat as she pulls in me close.
"And just when I didn't think that your nose couldn't get any wider, it does" Quinn jokes.
"Shut up Fabray, I will stomp your pale butt even if you are married to Britt-Britt" Santana said glaring at her friend.
"Sure San, sure you will" Quinn said rolling her eyes before smirking evilly. "I'll make sure that Brit show your girl a certain phase that you and Tina were through in high school"
"You wouldn't" Santana said eyes widen in horror.
"Try me, bitch and find out" Quinn said patting Santana's cheek mockingly.
Quinn laugh as Santana glares in her direction before moving towards the grill where Noah is grilling an array of meats while curious as to what the phase did the Latina go through in high school. Even I was quite curious but I didn't press it because if the singer wanted me to know about it then she would tell me about it herself as Marley and Harmony launch themselves into the raven haired woman's arms the moment that they saw her. The girls giggles as Santana peppers their faces with kisses before telling them how much they've grown since the last time that she saw them which Harmony happily accepts while Marley on the other hand, smiles shyly. My little bunny has always been the shyer of the two as it takes her a minute to warm to others or coatings into trying things outside of her comfort zone especially when it came to learning how to swim.
Harmony took to swimming like a fish to water but her sister was fearful of going past three feet even with a life jacket or floaties but she surprise me today allowing the Latina pull her around on a kick-board. The smile on my daughter's face is so worth coming today as the singer's friends have been so warm, inviting and accepting as the food was delicious as Santana made it a point to make sure that there was options more suited to my vegan lifestyle. Noah and Mike openly teases her about ensuring that there was something that I could eat, going as far to several stores to find ingredients which causes the Latina to blush, biting back a retort for the sake of the children present. Throughout the day, I have caught the recording artist staring at me shamelessly, whispering Spanish into my ear, or leaving fleeting touches all the while knowing where to draw the line as it makes me crave to be close to her even more.
I watch from a distance as the singer teach the kids some odd games as I couldn't help smiling softly because it's been so long since that I've seen my kids this happy and carefree and I know that it's because of her. She's doing so much for me and my family and doesn't realizes it. This is the first time that I have someone takes special interest in wanting to make my kids and I happy. I know that Santana wants in a romantically sense and I feel something when we're together but I just… I just don't want to fall without knowing for sure that she won't regret it. That I'll be enough to satisfy her emotionally and physically. The last person that I was with made me feel less than worthy of love and left me when he finally had enough, telling me that I wasn't worth his time as I did everything to please him, to make him but in the end, I wasn't enough.
Will I ever be enough? I was so deep in my musing that I didn't notice someone sits down next to me until they had their arms wrap around me, pulling in close as I look to see that it's Santana and before I could say anything, she press her lips against my forehead in a lingering kiss. There was so much conveyed in the kiss as I relax in her embrace that the thoughts that I was having dissipated, ignoring the knowing looks that Mercedes were sending my way as the children splash in the pool until the sun set. It was hard coaxing them but soon engorge themselves again on food before getting clean and changed into their clothes while Beth tries to explain a basketball game on a huge plasma screen TV as the younger kids talk about whatever they had on their minds. I was grabbing a water bottle out of the refrigerator when Brittany corners me with a warm smile before pulling me into another hug, whispering in my ear to take care of her friend before walking away.
What was that about? What did she mean by take care of Santana? The girl in question walks into the kitchen unaware of what just occurred, her hair wet from her shower with a towel around her neck and without a second thought, I took the towel to dry her hail because I didn't want her catching a cold. After a few minutes a pair of tan hands gently wrap around my hands as the towel falls loosely around the Latina's shoulders as she looks me in eyes and it feels like everything around fades into the background as her gaze freeze in place. Her eyes darts between my eyes and my lips before holding my gaze, silently asking for permission but for what, as I wasn't too sure as almost on impulse, I close the distance between us to press my lips against hers. The singer breathes in sharply, taking a hold of my hips to pull me close as our bodies mesh together perfectly while our lips move in sync until the younger woman breaks it to rest her forehead against me.
"Are you… are you sure that you want this? Are you sure that you want this to be more than friendship?" Santana asked honestly. "I meant what I said that we could be just friends but I need you to be a hundred percent sure that you want to be in a relationship because I like you a lot"
"I know that I like you a lot, Santana more than I've liked anyone in a time and I'm afraid that eventually get tired of me" I said ducking my head. "I have a lot of baggage and I don't want to get hurt especially my kids because they're attached to you"
"I would never hurt you or get tired of you, Estrella" Santana said pecking me on the lips. "I love your kids because I'm attached to them. I want to explore what this is if you're willing"
"I am"
"Good" Santana said kissing me again.
"Told you that I would find them making out in kitchen. You owe me twenty bucks, Puck" Mercedes calls.
"Dammit. Kinky but damn…. Ow, what was that for"
~Nicole The Dragon Rider signing off
End of ch. 7