Chapter 13: Letters from the Past

Disclaimer: Again I still do not own Star Trek. Many things would have been different.

I still do not have a beta so all mistakes are mine.

WARNINGS:

Spock,

Honestly, I don't know how to write to you. I've tried over the years. I just never could. First, I was angry at you. I nearly hated you after everything. Then I was ashamed of that anger. And well, I didn't know if I could have or if I even had the right to talk to you. I should have called but I don't think I am ready to hear your voice just yet. Or if you are ready to hear mine. I figured if you weren't ready you could just delete this and pretend you never read it. I would understand.

Nine years. Can you believe it? Your father said you remarried. Not that you had much choice if you wanted to live. I'm doing better. I hope you are too. I continued therapy. The same lady who did our couples therapy. She's helped me work through things. I hope the mind healers helped you on New Vulcan. I suppose I should get to the point. There's somethings I would like to talk about and there's a favor I need to ask of you. I don't want to say what that is in this letter. If you don't mind contacting me I would really appreciate it. I still have the same com number.

Thanks, Kirk

Spock read over the email that had been sent to his PADD nearly three days ago. He honestly almost dropped the device when he saw that name. He hadn't contacted Jim in nearly nine years. Not after filing the paperwork for their divorce. Now he stared at the words on his PADD wondering what could have caused the former captain to reach out to him of all people. The divorce had been ugly. They didn't fight over anything. Spock hadn't requested anything other than the divorce.

However, it ripped their Star Fleet family apart. They had to take sides, Jim's or Spock's. It had gotten to the point where Spock almost told them all that they should stay with Jim if it caused so many problems. It had nearly ruined their friends' relationships with each other. Reaching out for his com he dialed the number that he swore he never would have tried to use again.

Three rings and he got the answering machine. Without saying a word, he hung up. That was stupid, to call without thinking of what to say. Spock sighed and looked at his communicator. It lit up reading the name of someone he hadn't spoken to in years. If his hands shook as he answered no one but himself would know. "Hello Jim."

Silence stretched between them. "Spock…" Jim's voice was barely above a whisper. "Hold on. I didn't expect you to call." The sound of shuffling and a door opening before closing came through the speaker.

"Jim, are you okay? You are whispering." What need would Jim have to whisper? Unless he did not want to be heard by someone else?

"Fine fine. Don't worry about it." His voice was still low before it was followed by a hiss and a curse. Another door opened and then shut. "Sorry. I…Well…I didn't expect you to call. I just said that." His voice was louder but the sound of hover crafts could be heard in the distance.

"You did ask me to contact you. I have free time now. What was it you wanted to talk about Jim?" He did well to hide the shaking in his voice. They could do this. There had been enough time between them that Jim should have moved on.

"Um…Well it's a little strange to be honest. It's got me and Uhura stumped. She's good with languages. Which you already know. Sorry haven't had much sleep in the last few days. I can't send it to you. We tried and it murdered Uhura's PADD. She wasn't happy with me for a week." There was a long pause before Jim cursed again. "I'm sorry. How are you? I should have started with that."

"You know I do not like to partake in small talk Jim. You have something that might be a language you have not come across before and when you sent it to Uhura it crashed her PADD?" That was interesting to say the least. He knew that Uhura had kept her PADD the state of the art when it came to technology.

"I said murdered. As in it destroyed it along with her home security system and anything else she had hooked up to her PADD. So far mine is safe but I can't figure out what it is saying. Since you are pretty good at figuring these things out I thought it might be best if I tried to get ahold of you."

A new language that had destroyed Uhura's PADD and computer. That was interesting. He could leave New Vulcan for a few days to see what this was all about. "Jim…I…" He took a steadying breath. This could be very very bad for the both of them. Even after all this time he was willing to rush right back to Jim. "Are you okay with me being there? It has been six years since our bond was fully broken."

A soft chuckle came through. He could almost see Jim smiling from that sound. "Hey, you don't need to worry about me anymore. I'm not your husband remember. I am no longer doing anything life threatening and I'm taking care of myself. Just ask Bones. If I didn't think I could handle talking to you I wouldn't have sent the email. So are you ready to make a new discovery with me?"

A smile pulled at Spock's lips. "That does not reassure me Jim. Doctor McCoy would just cover for you to spite me."

There was silence for a moment before Jim huffed. "Likely. He's still pissed at you. He promised to tan your hide when he sees you. And I quote 'That green blooded hobgoblin is getting the whipping of the life time when he shows his pointy eared self in front of me. I don't give a damn if we are in front of the president.' Granted he was pretty drunk when he said that. So he might not remember."

The smile spread full force across his lips picturing the good doctor and his southern charm. "I am sure you gave me the abridge version. Or he has learned not to swear."

A loud laugh came across the com. "Well there were quite a few swears I left out. You should be proud of him. He's learned a few new words in other languages."

Spock gave a small chuckle. It would be just their luck the doctor only learned a new language just so he could spout more curses. "I will be on the next shuttle to Earth. Would you mind meeting me there?" They could do this. They could be friends again.

Spock walked off the shuttle with his bag slung over one shoulder. His eyes scanning the area for any sign of his former captain. "Earth is colder than I expected."

Looking down at the one to have spoken Spock nodded. "Yes, it often times is. That is why I told you to pack extra clothes Lhai." He knelt and tucked the boy's hat over his ears. The child squirmed away from Spock's hands before tucking his hat tightly over his head. A small smile spread across Spock's lips. "Very well do it yourself."

A green flush spread across the boy's cheeks but he did not say anything. "Spock!" Both child and the former first officer looked up to see the approaching human.

"That is the man we are to meet father?" Lhai asked taking a step closer to Spock. "You said he would be…older. Unless I am wrong about how fast humans age."

Spock watched as Jim walked through the crowd until he stood before the two of them. His eyes darting between father and son. A flash of pain around his eyes and a drop in the bright smile on the human's face was quickly hidden as he brought his hand up in a proper greeting. Spock longed to hear the thoughts of his former bondmate.

"Jim, this is my son Lhai. Lhai this is Jim Kirk." Spock spoke as he took in Jim's appearance. He was no longer in danger of being too underweight but he had never gained back all that he lost. It did give him a younger look. He would have expected some ageing around Jim's eyes at the least or the changing of hair but thus far the human hadn't showed his age still looking much like the cocky twenty odd year-old cadet that had took over the Enterprise.

"A pleasure to meet you Lhai. I didn't know you would be joining us." The smile was a little less forced as the child stared at him. "I know I promised to pick you guys up but I've got something that just came up. Here are the keys to my house and hover craft. I'll meet you guys there. I've already programed the address in the car so you won't get lost."

"I have been there before I do not think I will get lost Jim." Spock took the keys held out to him, the confusion clear to those who knew him.

"Right…" Jim rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah I moved. I sold the old house. Most of everything went into storage. I have a new place though. A little out of the way but still close enough to town that I can drive in and get things when I need to. I am running late though so go ahead and get going. I have a taxi waiting on me."

Before Spock could say more than Jim's name the whirlwind that was his former captain was already half way to the exit. "Was he always like this father? Or has he gotten manic in his old age?"

Spock closed his eyes wondering just where did he go wrong with his child. "Lhai, that is not a…nice thing to say about someone." He looked down at his son before taking off to the parking area hoping to find the hover craft easily. "Besides he is not old."

"Then how should I describe him father?" His son asked as they walked in the winter weather to Jim's car. They loaded their things into the trunk before slipping inside. Spock turned on the navigation system before driving. His son stayed silent in the back seat as he took in the world around them. Nearly two hours passed in silence before they got to their destination. The house was different than Spock had imagined. For one thing it was smaller than the house they had shared together. For another it was quite dated though clearly well kept.

Spock grabbed their bags before letting them into the house. It was…cozy. A fire place with a gate over it. Several couches and chairs strategically placed to enjoy either watching tv or sitting by the fire. The living room lead into the open kitchen and dining room. There was a hall leading to what he assumed was the bathroom and bedrooms. A throw blanket lay across the floor along with several PADDs and some toys.

Lhai walked forward picking up some of the toys from the floor. "He is not very neat. Are these normal for an adult human?"

Spock came over to stare at the toys. "No. I would say they are meant for children." He lifted a PADD to turn on. A child's story came to life across the screen. As his eyes scanned over the words the front door opened and child's laughter filled the air accompanied by running feet.

"David, don't run in the house!" Came too late as the child ran around the corner nearly toppling over in his haste to back away from the Vulcans. Jim came around just in time to catch the boy before he fell. A small smile spread across the human's face. "David, this is Spock and his son Lhai. You want to say hello?" The boy's blue eyes widen before he shook his head and hid behind his father's legs staring out at Spock. "I meant to tell you about him but Bones had to go to work and Joanna caught a cold. They were originally going to watch David tonight."

He couldn't speak. It felt like something had stuck him hard in the lungs keeping him from being able to even breath. "You have a son?" What a foolish thing to say when the evidence was in front of him.

"Yeah. He turned four and a half last week actually. Long story. I'll tell you about it later? David why don't you go ahead and go play in your room for a little bit?" Without needing to be told twice the child ran going through the door leading into the kitchen to pass by Spock without getting near him.

The three of them watch as the human child ran away. "He's…shy around adult males. Lhai if you want I am sure he wouldn't mind having you join him for playing. Just keep the door open."

The older child looked up at the human male. "I assume that is your way of telling me you wish to speak to my father alone? Then I will go…play…" He soon followed the younger boy into his bedroom leaving the adults alone.

Spock looked around unsure what he should do. "David's mother…does she work?" He once again found himself looking around the small home. There were no pictures of David's mother but there were plenty of David and their family from the Enterprise. Uhura hugging Scott around the neck kissing his cheek. Chekov and Sulu holding their child with Sulu's daughter between them. McCoy with his daughter and Jim.

Jim wince and motioned to one of the couches. "Um…She works. Ground rules? Don't mention David's mom around him. He's still adjusting to being here. I'm surprised Uhura or your father didn't mention him to you."

That was news. His father had not mentioned keeping in contact with Jim over the years. "Uhura and I do not speak as often as we use to. The time difference between New Vulcan and Earth make it difficult to keep in touch." He took his seat across form Jim. "What was it you wanted me to see?"

Jim nodded. "Right you'll want to see that. Let me get dinner started and served then I'll show you." He stood again to head into the kitchen. "What about Lhai's mother? Does she work?"

"Lhai's mother chose the path of Kolinahr and has severed all emotional ties. Her bond with me has also been severed." Spock joined Jim in the kitchen. Once again, they fell into old habits of preparing dinner together. A frown formed on his face as Jim brought out meat. "You have started eating meat again?"

A chuckle fell from Jim's lips. "No. I haven't touched meat in years. But David has and I had to agree with Bones that changing his diet along with everything else would be a bad idea. So I make sure he gets to eat meat with at least one of his meals. I cleaned out my room for you to stay in. I didn't think about it when I asked you to come but this is probably awkward for you."

"It is fine Jim. I was not thinking about living arrangements when you called. It'll be for a few nights. I can always go to the embassy if being here bothers you." He quickly made a salad and set it on the table.

In short order dinner was finished and set out for them to eat. Neither saying another word. Jim walked to his son's room followed by Spock, poking his head in to see David on the floor coloring while Lhai read. "You boy's ready to eat?" Before he was finished David was on his feet rushing past to go to the kitchen. He kept his eyes on Spock the whole way there. Lhai set the PADD down on the table giving Jim a look.

"Your son does not speak. Is there something wrong with his vocal cords?" Spock suppressed what would pass as a sigh for a Vulcan at his child's blunt behavior. It was fine with other Vulcan's but human took offence to children being what was in their culture rude.

"He's just shy Lhai. He takes a while to warm up to new people. I'm sure he will become friends with you by the time you go back home. You and your father are staying in my room tonight. I don't have a guest room." Both adults watched as the child walked past them to join the other in the kitchen.

"That is not necessary. I will share with David. His room is more than enough for the both of us." With that he climbed into the chair at the table. His cheeks turning a green hue when his head barely came above the top of the table.

David had by this time came back into the kitchen holding out a thick book and a pillow to the older child. Another set in the seat next to Lhai. "So you can see." His voice was barely above a whisper. Lhai watched the younger child before taking the offered items and placed them in the seat before once again sitting on them. A bright grin plastered itself on David's face revealing his front two teeth missing. The younger child quickly climbed into the seat next to Lhai. Even with the two added books and a pillow he just barely came over the top of the table.

Spock took a seat at the end of the table next to his son watching as Jim did the same. Neither adult spoke of the high chair placed against the wall.

Author's Note: I will try to update later this week no promises though. There are a lot, and I do mean a LOT of things that were not covered in the nine-year gap. Some of it will be covered in the following chapters. I might just write another fic about what happened with the Spock and Jim. It would be another 30k just to cover it all at least.