Drug

I was seven when magic was presented to me.

Mother sat me down and waved her hand. I could do nothing but feel the energy, the power, the might that was Magic awaken at her call. It felt so familiar, so normal. It was like something I didn't realise was missing had returned. I relished in it. Above us, the clouds clashed and the thunder thudded with my mother's magic and I couldn't do anything but admire it's raw beauty. It was the thing in the corner of my eye, the whisper I couldn't quite hear, the scent that just eluded me, the touch that didn't register, the taste I'd never get to try. I could only sense it and it was wonder.

"You feel it." Mother stated. "Oh I was your age when my mother first told me off it. We sat at the cemetery in the pouring rain and I was enlightened." Casting a knowing smile at me, she finished with "This, Lunatic, is power."

It was magic like I had never felt it before and suddenly, I was consumed by the sensation. It was like taking a bath in burning lava and soothing water at the same time. I bathed in the combined pain and pleasure and began to understand why my family was the way it was. I only spent about a minute in it but it felt like eons. I had never quite felt so alive before. This was the biggest adrenaline rush of adrenaline rushes. I succumbed like a drug addict with a desperate hunger. There was nothing except for it and me. This was what it meant to be an Addams and I could understand why so many in the family were a little insane and enjoyed pain so much. If it sent them to this intoxicating concoction, I could wholeheartedly say I understood. It was maddening.

When, at last, I grounded myself once more, Mother was looking at me approvingly. Before she could say anything, I spoke.

"I understand now."

Then I burst into laughter.

My Mother was anything but a gentle taskmaster. But that didn't mean she didn't love me.

I was traumatised so I couldn't be broken further, I was tortured until it didn't hurt anymore, I was attacked until I could defend myself in my sleep. This was my Mother's way of caring for me. It might seem cruel, sadistic even. It was. It was also so I couldn't be broken anymore. It hurt. It really hurt. Make no mistake, I did suffer.

Pain and pleasure started to blur until all that was left was the feeling of being alive.

My Mother made me bury myself into my magic, again and again, until I could stay in it for weeks at a time. She informed me that it was the way so many of my ancestors had survived seemingly impossible things. Like Aunt Calpurnia who could have survived had she had more practice. Mother was half-convinced she'd allowed herself to burn because if she survived, no one would do it again. That was Addams logic for you - against all social norms.

But my Aunt's questionable (wasn't everything we were doing questionable?) motivations aside, I reveled in the feeling of my magic. I embraced it even. People were so silly - sticking to only light or dark magic with a few bits of so-called grey (neutral would be much more fitting) when they could have it all. Perhaps they were scared? You could adore the waves of the ocean while being afraid of their strength.

But I had had the fear stamped out of me. There was no place for such trivial things in my new life. I had given myself to magic and been reborn from it. What did I have to fear when I would always have my magic with me? No wonder the inhabitants of Azkaban went insane so fast - they had only touched this power, only dipped their toes in and it was being kept from them. I might have worried about being sent to Azkaban but the Dementors could no more take my magic from me than they could separate sparks from fire.

I was made by magic, maintained by magic and would be destroyed by magic. They were no match for it. And I allowed myself to succumb, to give in to the magic that rippled under my skin, to give up control. Wednesday and I were twins, would always be together but my magic had woven itself into me so tightly, I knew it would cling to me harder than Wednesday ever would.

But it clung to her too. She wasn't in my lessons - magic was an incredibly personal thing, rather private: it was something even two twins couldn't be united in. At least, that was what was claimed. But my magic entwined itself with her clearly, undeniably and hers seeped into me and it was anything but unclear that we were bonded together. After that, Mother agreed to teach us at the same time. I idly hoped that if I was to go on another undead adventure, I would not be alone.

Wednesday and I were bonded, for better or worse.

I couldn't find it in myself to try to resist, to try to escape. Why should I? I was content to be lured by the Siren Song. My sister, my twin, may not have been a saint but she was not a devil either. We were human (albeit extraordinary) and I loved her despite her flaws. She was good for me. I could finally let go with her.

Not completely of course.

Keeping up with Wednesday was difficult and she did not have any mercy on me, as her precious twin. I respected her for that. If I couldn't keep up, she wouldn't put up with me. Wednesday bowed only to strength. I may not have her bloodlust but I knew how to use weapons she didn't and vice versa. It made us equal. My twin looked at me and realised that there was more than one type of strength.

I loved her for it.

Lawyer

I knew a bit about The Addams Family movies. In the first one, the family lawyer had cooked up something with his loan shark so he wouldn't be punished by her adopted son. Her adopted son who happened to be Uncle Fester. Said Uncle Fester was now called Gordon (how bland in comparison!) and pretended to be Fester in order to swindle us out of our considerable wealth.

I also recalled the particularly interesting fate of his wife (but I couldn't remember either of their names currently) who had been quite taken with Cousin Itt. Cousin Itt was absolutely gorgeous - with hair that covered everything (I couldn't blame her for being charmed). Despite their appearance, Itt was somewhat more normal than the rest of the family and a charmer to boot.

Of course as I happened to find myself in that world (who decided that again?), I was now going to have to decide what to do with it. In the end, I decided that I was more than entitled to just sit back and let things play out - no one got what wasn't coming to them and Alford and Craven weren't my problem. As long as I never saw either of them again after this, I didn't really care.

I did however care about Margaret (I knew it started with an M!) Alford and her rather concerning attitude to my family. Of course, I knew that people didn't usually store Uncle's in bags but to be fair, Nicknack was hibernating and we didn't usually open that closet so he probably assumed he was safe. Grandmama allowed the bag to hit the ground with a thud, smiling (admittedly creepily) at Margaret before continuing her search.

It would be more effort to explain that Nicknack hibernated than to reassure her it wasn't his dead body (it was his hibernating body) so I simply whispered "Tent" in her ear. She jumped so suddenly that I almost didn't dodge but I'd been raised around Wednesday so I had a massive head-start on her there. When she recovered, she smiled at me hesitantly, almost as if she was confused at what she was doing.

Addams I may be, but I was still compassionate. Margaret was going to have a hard time adjusting to the family, no matter how smitten she was. She would need an ally. I didn't mind offering. It might seem the opposite of beneficial to Wednesday but I thought Margaret may prove to be a good friend - she could help us with 'ordinary people'. Good friendships were mutually beneficial after all. And I was a good friend.

My efforts were clearly rewarded because at the séance that night (Grandmama wished to summon Fester's spirit), Margaret looked to me for guidance. Perhaps it was odd to befriend a woman about fifteen years my senior but if there was one word that described my family, it would be odd. Why should I pretend any different?

And then she practically crushed my hand as Grandmama pretended to pull Tully's hand off. Usually, I would send my grandmother a reproachful look but this was Tully. Better him than Margaret anyway. But I could see why Cousin Itt liked this woman. She was surprisingly strong and while she shrieked, she also looked ready to tear Grandmama's head off. I was strangley disappointed at the last part - I hoped it was only because of the shock and not her husband's fright. Oh well, she'd meet Cousin Itt soon. I just had to wait.

But I hated waiting. I had many qualities and skills but waiting was not one of them. I almost wished I could get my hands on a Time Turner. (I probably could but it didn't seem like the best idea. Apart from the obvious problem of thinking myself an impostor and the loss of years of my life, it would also complicate everything even more. My life was messed up enough already.) It was quite tempting though.

But if I couldn't chose where I was living, I wanted to choose when. Obviously, I wouldn't be able to choose to go forward in the future or back in the past but I wanted to live now, where I was deposited. Besides, Wednesday and I were far too tied together to be separated by time and she probably wouldn't appreciate it. Or maybe she would. I didn't know. I wasn't planning to ask. Wednesday with a time turner would not be advisable. It was quite frankly a terrifying image.

I'm sure Margaret would agree that it was a lot more disturbing than Grandmama and her (successful) attempts to creep her out. Wednesday the time traveller was giving me (delicious) chills but I was the only one who could somewhat manage Wednesday.

The world was doomed.

Not that it wasn't already, what with global warming and all the discrimination that happened but it would happen a lot faster if Wednesday ever got a Time Turner like Hermione. Briefly, I allowed myself to wonder if she was alive in this universe. I had magic, yes, but was it simply Addams family magic? Or was it the JK Rowling type again? I may not have liked the woman but I could appreciate the world she had created. If it was that world, perhaps I could attend a school that wasn't Hogwarts?

I came back to myself in time to hear my mother call Thing "a handful". I nearly snorted but stopped myself at the last minute because Margaret was still squeezing my hand and I didn't want to scare her any more. Poor woman was already terrified. Also, I was slightly concerned about my hand - not enough to try to pry her off but enough to not want to spook her any further lest she actually try to break my hand. (It would be interesting though.)

"Wednesday, Lunatic." my mother commanded.

"Let us ransom you from the power of the grave. Tonight, oh Death, let us be your plague." We chanted in unison. I had long since engraved these words into memory, having had to recite them at all the family séances I attended. I hadn't however learnt what Grandmama was chanting and had no intention of doing so until I had to so I simply drowned her speech out. I knew what was coming next anyway and if Lurch hadn't played the exact same piece at all the other séances, I would have thought that he knew too.

Grandmama wailed dramatically and then rasped "I feel that he's near!".

Margaret and Wednesday gripped my hands harder and I took a moment to appreciate just how often Grandmama was accurate. It stopped me worrying too much about my hands. And then came the loud three knocks, echoing rather beautifully around the room. I glanced at Margaret's face, rather unsurprised to see her absolutely terrified expression. If I hadn't known someone was knocking on the door and hadn't been desensitised to such things by now, I would probably be the exact same. As it was, I knew exactly what was going on.

Mother instructed Grandmama to knock again and as expected, Tully was quick to cheer them on. He obviously knew what was going on and was very glad that his plan seemed to be working. If it wasn't already obvious before by his increasingly strange and erratic behaviour, his smug smile when we snapped to attention gave him away. I almost wished I had a camera on me to capture the moment. I didn't know whether or not my parents would believe me if I said anything. Perhaps I would just completely resign myself to not doing anything. Nothing bad befell the family anyway.

Then, as Lurch continued, playing louder and louder, there was another three knocks on the door. This was of course, the moment my father leapt up from his seat and yelled - as if it wasn't already obvious, "He's at the door!"

Thing, always eager to help out - the dear thing, skidded out of the room and through the hallway before thudding into the door. I winced, Thing really needed to judge stopping distance better. Or perhaps breaking distance would be better. Did Thing have thinking distance? We followed quietly behind, Margaret still next to me. Clearly she had (at least subconsciously) decided that I was her best bet. She was probably right.

"Fester." my father almost purred in excitment.

"Gomez." my uncle replied quickly.

I didn't bother to hide my smile when my father first hugged him and then kissed him on the cheek. He looked so spooked it was difficult not to laugh. I didn't take much pleasure in the suffering of others but I was under the impression that nieces were allowed to be amused by their uncle's embarrassment. Either way, I was. Well, I was amused until his loan shark, abusive, adopted mother stepped forward, a smile on her face.

"Good evening, I am Dr Pinderschloss."

Having not had much experience with accents, it was only her name that clued me in to where she was pretending to be from. Germany, huh? I knew some German. Should I step in at this point or just leave it? From what I'd seen, the woman was fully prepared to murder me. This was going to be fun! And she was also fully prepared to murder my siblings. Not so fun after all - though Wednesday was doing a pretty good job of attempting to murder Pugsley.

Margaret finally let go of my hand and Wednesday and I got ourselves settled into the room. My twin was content to lie under the chair so I had the pleasure of actually sitting on it. It was rare to find a chair that wasn't boobytrapped so I was going to take the opportunity to somewhat relax. And ignore whatever rubbish the 'Dr' was spouting.

Wednesday started from underneath me when she heard the words 'Bermuda Triangle'. It was something that deeply fascinated her and I couldn't wait to see how Fester and the loan shark handled it. It would be interesting at worst and highly comical at best. I couldn't wait.

"That's preposterous! Isn't that the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard?" Margaret shouted at her husband. I was coming to like the woman more and more and I already liked her at the beginning. A good sense of what waffling sounded like, direct and straight to the point and a good for nothing husband she was going to cheat on with Cousin Itt. I couldn't wait.

"It certainly is!" Father declared gleefully.

Tully was quick to second him, distracting Margaret with the finger trap when she let out a - "Well, I just don't know." How rude! Angrily, Margaret seized the finger trap, accidentally trapping her fingers once more. Grandmama let out a delighted cackle and I gave her my most disapproving look. Nothing would beat my mother's but it seemed to work well enough to silence her for a little while.

When I next rejoined the main conversation, Mother and Father were reminiscing about their second honeymoon. Perhaps I would have once been ashamed of their tendency to publicly display affection but here, now, I couldn't care less. And if it had the added benefit of making Tully and Pinderschloss uncomfortable, well, I wasn't complaining.

Wednesday chose this moment to speak up: "Nobody gets out of the Bermuda Triangle. Not even for vacation. Everyone knows that."

I was more than prepared to argue with that point but it was extremely implausible for a lone person with no boat or other means of travel to 'escape' so I decided to add my own points to the conversation and back my twin up, "People get lost because magnetic north is not exactly true north and they're not smart enough to remember it and then they get lost and they panic. And when people panic, they die. If that doesn't do it, rogue waves will."

Pinderschloss smiled condescendingly at us and I decided not to bother listening to her speech. There was some sort of mention of not being able to kill the human spirit but that wasn't really applicable here. Grandmama evidently disagreed with me though because she let out "Even with a chain saw." in affirmation. Only she would be mad enough to actually try. I dearly hoped her victims were truly deserving though. That would be quite... painful.

Finally, we were released and I practically fled to the bedroom. Wednesday, for her part, stayed outside for a few minutes, staring curiously at our professed uncle. He practically slammed the door in her face. I had to choke back my laugh. He seemed terrified of Wednesday - who was still standing outside. Eventually, she made her way back in, remembering to hang her headless doll on the door. It was a sign and warning in one.

I almost hoped it would work so I didn't have to deal with him for a while. Fester got better: friendly and stupid rather than meek and stupid but I guess I couldn't really blame him - as a victim.

Besides he was reminiscent of Father - both of them soft hearted idiots. I was undoubtedly right about the last part because it didn't take him long to establish a rapport with my sibling. I tried to be as reluctant as possible without showing this to Wednesday - which was difficult mind you - because Fester had betrayed his abusive mother for them and my parents. I wanted things to go roughly the same way - so I had to make sure I wasn't predisposing Wednesday to dislike him: more than she was predisposed to disliking anyone, anyway.

Fester was tolerable anyway.

It was Tully that bothered me, that I loathed with a passion like my father's and his loan shark parasite who I hated vividly. Were I Wednesday, I would have come up with various torture ideas for them by now. But I was not nearly as creative as her and was satisfied with sticking to passing the sentence. I couldn't wait.

Maybe I should start considering which grave to put Tully in. There were so many empty ones after all.

Or maybe I should dig him his own?

Wednesday and Pugsley would certainly be glad to help me dig two fresh graves. It's one of their only shared interests. And I could carve the gravestones though they'd have to read whatever the loan shark's real name is and Tully because I could be bothered to carve parasitic loan shark and spineless lawyer as their names. Maybe I could put that in the descriptions? That way I could still have that on there? I need to find Wednesday and Pugsley - this is more important than their admittedly amusing attempts to kill one another. After attempt fifteen today (they're probably on twelve right now), they'd probably agree.

Better get carving.

Con

It was a good thing I was carving the stone because otherwise, I'd be attempting the same thing on something else. Namely, the con woman's face. I only remembered the main points of the movie, had a rough idea of the events that were going to happen and hadn't really thought about how they happened, how the 'Doctor' had carried things out.

I didn't realise that she was going to be manipulating my father this badly, letting him think that he was delusional, that he wronged Fester, that it was simply that it was so unexpected that he didn't want to believe.

I was ready to hang her by her own entrails - not that I hadn't been earlier, simply that the thought was a lot more frequent now, the appeal exponentially growing every time I saw the woman which was quite often now: my father confided in her frequently, was convinced she was a friend, on his side. I would have tried going between them but it would have been pointless.

My mother either began to cotton on or disliked the amount time he spent trying to allay his fears with Pinderschloss because she started to become a bit weary around the other woman. I knew she wasn't threatened - not only was she in those appointments, my father was also beyond head over heels in love with her: she had nothing to worry about and she knew it. Why would she?

Whatever the reason, this suspicion allowed me to try to separate the Doctor from my father somewhat - with the help of my mother. I tried to make it subtle and bratty enough that my mother would pick up on it but no one else would. In hindsight, that was sort of obvious but I wanted to make sure my mother stayed on guard around the woman.

"Mama?" I called, uncaring of whether the woman was there or not.

"Yes my starling?" Morticia Addams replied. She had decided early on in our lives that Wednesday would be 'darling' and that I would be 'starling'. I couldn't possibly guess why.

"Is the doctor gone?" I continued and without waiting for an answer plunged on, "She gives me a very weird feeling."

My mother appeared to understand what I meant because after she'd said goodbye to the doctor: "Where Lunatic gets her manners from, I am entirely unsure."

"Everyone knows that you should check the person you want to talk about is still there before speaking.", my father added. I had to really control myself then, stop the laughter bubbling inside of me.

On second thought, as long as I made it sound hysterical enough...

Before I could try to creep out our esteemed visitor with a maniacal laugh, I heard the door slam shut and then the gates snap their jaws closed. What a pity. The lack of any delay in their closure meant they hadn't tried to eat Pinderschloss. It wouldn't have been as satisfying as any of my other ideas but it would still have been rather satisfying if the gates had swallowed the woman. Would have saved me the trouble of having to control myself too. But if I did that, then my father wouldn't have Fester back and I couldn't do that to him, couldn't snatch the opportunity away from him. So I'd have to wait.

"Lunatic." my mother called commandingly.

Maybe I couldn't do what I wanted to do but I could still make things a little uncomfortable for Doctor Pinderschloss and I fully intended to do that.