A/N: Well, Elden Ring has me by the throat. Send help~!
I put off playing it for the longest time, but last night it finally got the better of me. What should have been a single hour of play last night became an absolute disaster; in that in that I wound up playing till nearly five in the morning; wandered all over most of the map and had a blast.
Managed to beat Margit, though. Heh, worth it.
Can't play online, need an Xbox membership for that * T_T * but it felt nice to do something that didn't involve writing for once. Still, I promised to update this today, and update I shall. I'm ahead of schedule, with that double update awhile back -One Helluva Team and Just A Bit of Bread- so while I could take a day off, I DID promise to update this today and tomorrow promises to be a busy one at the office, so...
Running on an hour of sleep, so there may be some spelling errors. *hangs head in shame* terribly sorry about that.
As ever, we're following the Ember's Rule here. That's no joke. Really, it isn't. If folks don't like this, well...it won't be continued. Poof! Gone! Every bit of feedback helps. Reviews are the fuel which keeps me writing in these crazy times. With my tight schedule, I simply don't have time to write a story folks don't like. Without them, my inspiration cannot take wing and I can't write a word. So by all means, speak up!
Now for your questions, comments, and concerns~!
Q: Update schedule, m'lord?
A: I'm not the lord of anything. It should Untraveled Road, Popular Monster, Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover, and other genres that may surprise you. Order isn't set in stone. It hasn't been a month yet since Serving a Schnee, but I'd like to update that soon. Rise of a Beast Hero, too. Sadly, there's only so much time in the day...
Q: Can you do an Elden Ring story? Think of the waifus, man!
A:...please don't tempt a man beyond his means. If I write one of those I don't think I'd be able to stop.
Q: These author's note at the beginning of the chapters ruin your stories!
A: ...um, then skip them? Sorry, but many more seem to like them, and its the only way to answer some questions.
Q: ...how far is Naruto willing to go?
A: In many ways, this is the Naruto from "Enemy" cranked up to eleven; older, smarter, a tad more jaded, and desperately seeking a way home. This time around he's taken note of more than just Powder, but its Vi who really snared his attention. Naturally he's taken it upon himself to help them...just without chakra.
Careful there, buddy.
As ever, the story title is named after a song from Arcane.
Once more, I own no references, quotes, themes or memes. Not a one!
Had a blast writing this one, even if it was a little shorter than I would've liked...
"There is nothing in this world so dangerous as a man with nothing to lose.
So go ahead. Push him. Flip that switch. Press that button.
See what happens.
~Just a Man.
Reload
"Is that enough ammo for you?"
Vi did not squeal. No. Nay. Never. She was better than that; she was a daughter of Zaun, a determined and strong, a proud girl who could brawl with the best of them. It wasn't as if she'd been waiting the last three hours to hear those words. Nope. No siree. Deffinitely not me.
"Added a bit of an upgrade, too." Naruto's clone handed her back the golden bracelets of Ember Celica. "Might pack a bit more of a punch, now-
"Eeeeeeee!" She all but ripped the gauntlets fro his grasp and donned them. "Show me, show me, show me!"
Naruto's brow shot into his hair. "Well, that's not a sound I ever thought you would make.
Head hit her cheeks. Oh, god, she'd said that aloud.
"What's it to you, old man?!"
"Nothing, really." Naruto only chortled. "Such a fierce little thing, always ready to punch someone." leaning back in his chair, he placed his chin upon hand. "You remind of somebody I used to know. She had pink hair too, ...although you're actually likable."
Vi blinked. "What was her name?"
"No one important." he waved a hand. "She's probably long dead by now. In any case, feel the trigger under your thumbs?"
She held up the leftmost gauntlet of Ember Celica and shook it a little. Yeah. Trigger's sticking a bit."
"Its meant to. Here. Hit this."
Reaching across the table, he pulled another one of his relics out; what looked like a slab of metal, and fashioned it to his wrist. On closer inspection, she realized it wasn't one at all but an actual shield. Little on the small side though, though, bearing a single large emerald jewel in its center.
"What kinda shield is that? Its tiny."
"This?" The shadow clone hummed. "This is not just a shield. This is the Shield."
Her brow furrowed a little. He'd phrased it strangely just now. What had he meant by that?
"Another man fell into this world of yours, once upon a time. Yes, once upon a time." he shifted himself behind the bench, letting the odd jeweled Shield shimmer in the light. "I found him, nursed him back to health, then sent him on his way home. During that time he let me study his weapon." when she made to interrupt, he held up a hand. "What you see here is a poor man's replica, but it'll suffice for this."
Her interest piqued. "What was his name?"
Naruto smiled and tousled his hair. "Naofumi. Ring a bell?"
Vi crossed her arms and tilted her head.
"No...?
"What's that pose for?" he laughed. "You tryin' to seduce me? Bit young for that." it redoubled as fire flared in her eyes. "Come back in a few years and try again."
She stuck her tongue his way. "Blech!"
"Alright, alright!" he warded off her fists with one hand. "Here's the deal. I want you to hit me, or rather this shield, as hard as you can. Should help you figure out the new feature I installed. There's a bonus in it for you if you actually manage to tag me with those gauntlets of yours."
Hesitation reared its head in her heart. She quashed it. "Fine. Just you watch, I'll knock your block off."
"Now hold on," Naruto's clone tittered, taking her pride in stride. "You might have misheard me. Not half as hard, not some arbitrary percentage, I want you," a finger flicked her forehead, drawing a dark scowl from her anew, "To hit me, as hard as you can."
"And if I don't?"
He stopped smiling. "Then I guess you don't need those gauntlets."
Panic took wing, overshadowing her thoughts.
"Raaargh!"
His left arm rose, lazily bringing the shield with it, and quite suddenly, it changed. Polished steel shimmered into dark metal. Her fist struck it head on regardless, emitting a hollow clang. She held back, unwilling to put her all into it...and paid dearly. Her entire arm shook, rattled from fist to shoulder. Then came the pain. She jerked back with a hiss, waving her hands.
"Well, well," Merry blue eyes peeked out over the rim of his replica relic. "Seems I touched a nerve."
"How...?!" She scowled, grappling with a sudden pang of anger. "No way that thing's sturdy!"
"Let me say this one more time." he waved. "You. Me. Hard as you can. Are we clear?"
Her eyes flashed.
...crystal."
A tiny smile touched those dirty whiskered cheeks. "Thatta girl."
Raising her fists, Vi edged forward, sizing him up as a boxer might a dangerous opponent. Naruto rose out of his seat fully to tower over her. His smile didn't waver. Not once. Not for the first time Vi hesitated. Behind that smile lurked a fighter, and no matter how kind he might seem, she knew he could annihilate her; would, too, if she pissed him off.
"Well?" he quirked a blond brow. "What's wrong? I ain't getting any younger."
Vi shifted her stance. Right. Remember your training. Breathe. Focus.
Weave left, weave right, then...there!
She dove at him. Punch, jab, uppercut. Whaled on Naruto with everything she, yet that shield was always there, flicking its way between her fists each time. Roundhouse. Rabbit punch. Duck when he tried to bash her face in with the shield. A bead of sweat ran down her brow as the metal kissed her cheek. Throwing a feint she got his shield to go left then struck right, only to fail a second time.
And then she saw them.
Much to her surprise, she found the rounds she ejected glued themselves to the sturdy bulwark. More than a few of them were glowing softly. Realization dawned. Her thumb found the trigger beneath the gauntlets, got it wrapped round her fingers...and made a fist.
Heat flared forth as a localized explosion consumed Naruto.
He laughed into it and emerged from the blast, hair slightly singed, smile shining through it all.
"Tada." he dusted himself off, grinning from ear to ear. "Whaddya think? Pretty neat, huh? Sorry, had to rile you up to make ya try."
Vi lowered her arms, mouth agape. "Did...did you just give me freakin punchable sticky bombs?"
"Yuuuup." he grinned.
The door swung open and hit the wall with a harsh crash, cutting her thoughts apart as a hot knife would so much butter.
As she turned the original Naruto walked -staggered, really!- through the door, looking positively haggard. He took one look at her and paused. His clone snapped waved, set the shield down on the table, snapped off a snarky salute-then vanished in a plume of white smoke, leaving him to stagger even further as he received its hard won memories.
Bright blue eyes fixed on her. "What do we have here? Had a little fun while I was away, did you?"
Vi hid her gauntlets behind her back. "No...?"
Hmm." he walked past, tousling her hair. "If you're worried about my partner, don't be. I left Jayce back at the party."
"I don't expect he'll thank you for that."
A man trotted in after Naruto, moving at a brisk pace despite their cane. The newcomer looked...weary, worn in both body and mind alike. Vi had time enough to take in disheveled brown hair, rumpled clothing, and keen eyes; then he too was past her, eyes roaming about the apartment with naked delight.
"Fascinating." his gaze alighted upon a nearby apparatus. He limped towards it and picked it up, observing the concentric rings as one might a puzzle box. "This device, it is powered by your "chakra", yes? And hextech as well? He gave it a flick with his finger, marveling a little as the disks aligned, creating a tiny portal no larger than his palm. "Fascinating. To have come so far in such a short time...
"Vi, meet Viktor." Naruto waved a hand between them. "Viktor, Vi. You'll be seeing a lot of each other in the future.
Great. One of those sciency-types. She tried to smile and managed a half-hearted wave.
The man with the cane smiled softly. "A pleasure."
"Now, that just leave.s...ah. There she is."
Last but not least a young girl with pale silver tails -actual fox tails swaying behind her back!- trailed after them, looking somewhat out of sorts. herself. Or she was, until she noticed her presence. Fair of face and dark of hair, the newcomer had a wild, exotic look to her; indeed, those unnaturally bright eyes locked onto hers with the intensity of a predator. Dark, furry ears flicked atop her head, drooping now as she realized just who she was and why she was here. Her response was markedly less pleasant.
"An intruder." Ahri all but growled the words. "Why are you here?"
Vi bridled, pride roused by the insult. "Right back at you! I got here first!"
"Girls!" Naruto snatched they both up by the scruff of their necks. "Behave!"
No dice; they flailed at each other to no avail, arms flying, legs kicking, hissing and spitting.
"She started it!"
"Oh yeah?! I'll end it! C'mere!"
Naruto blew out a frustrated sigh. "This is my life now...
Viktor laughed and clapped his shoulder. "Come. We have work to do~!"
Vi scowled as she found herself lowered to the floor. Well! If that two bit...whoever-she-was thought she could steal Naruto away?
Her brow furrowed furiously.
Ahri glared right back.
It was war.
A/N: Poor Naruto, you know not what you'd done.
Yes, that was a Rising of the Shield Hero reference, and a TFS one too, at that.
Now then, THAT event is coming, and so too is the timeskip.
Hope this as enough to whet your appetite, should have something better next time.
As ever, we're following the Ember's Rule here. That's no joke. Really, it isn't. Its an essential rule at this point.
If folks don't like this, it won't be continued. Poof! Gone! Every bit of feedback helps. Reviews are the fuel which keeps me writing in these crazy times. With my tight schedule and two jobs, I simply don't have time to write a story folks don't like. Without them, my inspiration cannot take wing and I can't write a word. So by all means, speak up!
As ever, reviews are my lifeblood. Without them, I cannot write.
So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...
...Revieeeeew, Would You Kindly?
They keeps an old man alive.
And enjoy the previews.
As ever:
SPOILER! SPOILER! SPOILER!
PLOT DETAILS AHOY!
YE BE WARNED!
Get ready to smile~!
Obvious references are obvious~!
(POTENTIAL!) Previews! What can I say? I've been busy.
Madness? No, now there is purpose. I believe you when you say you were... careless.
Many messages can be taken from that, intended or not.
What I do now is an act of conviction.
Marcus cried out. "This wasn't the deal!
"Deal's changed."
"Powder, stay put. I mean it."
"But I want to help...
Silco quirked a brow. "Well played."
"Hey, I keep my promises. Now do you have what I need?"
He considered the apparatus; the design he'd labored upon for so long.
This'll get me home. It has to...
If it didn't..he'd do mad.
Naruto raised his hands. "Sure. I surrender."
...smart man. Now come this way, and no funny business.
Vi balked. "No! What're you dong?! They'll kill you!"
CRUNCH.
Blood spattered her face. It didn't belong to her. Firm arms swept her up and away to safety as her would-be captor pitched back, clutching a hole in their stomach.
"I did surrender," Naruto pulled his bloody hand away with a low hum, smile nothing short of sly as he regarded the rest of them. "I surrender any remaining goodwill I had towards you lot." He ripped the scythe from his back. "Time to feed my friend. He's been so hungry these last few days~!
Then he was among them.
R&R~!