Abigail Melody
Now that I know the Doctor can hear Alicia's thoughts whenever he wants to, and most likely vice versa I think I am going to have to put them in memory cycles. I don't like doing this, it can be dangerous.
There are a few things I want to bring up. If the Doctor can look into Alicia's thoughts then he hasn't noticed how depressed she is lately, which is how I ended up here in the first place.
Then of course Alicia hasn't been looking into his thoughts. She wouldn't be thinking the way she is if she has. His imagination is open to her and she never once thought to look at any about herself?
There's also a lot of confusion around, hm, sex.
I know they both want it. They don't.
Somehow I have to bring up their um, intimate relationship from over the years without getting beaten up.
Alicia has some fantastic memories of intimate talking but they are from years ago.
The Doctor does too. The same memories.
Then all that changed for Alicia after she thought that the Doctor thought of her as a daughter and that he would think that way for the rest of her life.
But I've seen the Doctors memories and it has definitely been a struggle to hold back.
He was lying.
I waited until I was sure they were both asleep before I started their memory cycles.
Doctor
Memory Cycle
"You are mine." I see Alicia, just six years old already consenting to something she knows nothing about yet. I remember how I felt. Happy but concerned that she was showing consent for something so adult at such an early age.
I remember what I nearly did in the ritual of allegience.
Then I see us walking down her road when she was twelve.
"Does it have to be right now?"
It was the way she said it.
"I think we should go to Omaria first."
I remember how easily she pulled herself closer as we walked and how she didn't seem to really care why I was there at all. I remember I wanted to do things. I remember I could tell where things were going and how I deflected it. I don't know why I did it. Maybe I felt she was to young? Yet I wanted to so much.
The whole way in the TARDIS she didn't stop flirting. I had to try so hard.
Then I see the times when she hid in corners. She started hurting herself and I don't remember when it stopped.
I remember the time while this was happening that she asked me how I saw her. I told her she shouldn't be asking me, then the time I told her I saw her as a daughter and every time I was just trying to be moral.
I know when she asked me how I saw her the answer she really wanted. I hurt her. And she's still hurt.
The answer I really wanted to give was different too. It always will be.
Alicia
Memory Cycle
I remember what happened at the ritual of allegiance. I didn't know what it was then but I know I've wanted to do it to him ever since. There never seemed to be the right time to ask.
When I was twelve I definitely got excited when I was with him. I remember that clear as day. The perfect embrace, the soft smooth voice.
Then a few years ago I asked how he saw me. I haven't really gotten over those times. The times where I was in pain constantly. wanting the future Doctor who I never really needed.
I could have told him. It wouldn't have changed anything. And now I don't really know how I feel.
Abigail Melody
The memory cycles won't be the give all and end all. They still need to talk.
I could give them direct access to each others thoughts but they can already do that. They're refusing to use it.
I could make them feel each others hormones when they see each other. That could work.
Alicia
The next morning
I'm used to knowing when the Doctor's awake but this?
"Doctor, what's going on?"
Doctor
the next morning
When Alicia woke up and looked at me this morning I felt her hormones go sky high. In a very nice way.
Was I dreaming last night or was someone trying to tell me something?
"Doctor, what's going on?"
I worked it out. Abigail's hints. She knows everything about us because Alicia brought her here.
"Abigail."
"Abigail?"
"Did you have any strange dreams last night. I mean, different to normal?"
"Actually, I did yes."
"Normally we see each other's dreams but if Abigail put us in memory cycles for some reason we might not have."
"So what did you dream of last night?" Alicia said slowly.
"I dreamt of the first time we met and at allegiance. I dreamt of the time I picked you up on your way home. And I dreamt of how I felt."
"I had very similar dreams. I also dreamt about the bad times. And the time when I asked you how you felt about me.."
"I'm sorry." I couldn't help myself.
"What?"
"I'm sorry. I only told you I saw you as a daughter because I felt you were to young for a proper relationship. But if you asked me again now.."
"Okay."
"Okay what?"
"Doctor, how do you feel about me?"
Alicia
"Alicia. I love you to the end of the universe. Through all of time and space. And I don't think of you as a daughter. I, I think of you as a Guandan."
He kissed me. On the lips, hard. He pulled back for a moment. His eyes were shining and I realised he'd been waiting for this just as long as I have.
"Do you want to?"
"What about Abigail?"
It was then that we both realised Abigail was gone. She'd done her job.