14.

Miranda never thought that it was possible to be awakened by the growling of her own stomach, but that was exactly what happened. She had had a weird dream. She had been floating around in the air on the top of an oversized macaron, hitting fluffy, and cotton candy–like clouds on the go. The clouds exploded with a loud grumble, releasing rainbow colored sprinkles. She tried to catch the tiny candies but they vanished as soon as she touched them. She bumped into a huge pink cloud, it exploded, starting a chain reaction. The clouds blew up, one after another, the roar increasing to an almost unbearable level and she stirred. She remembered almost falling asleep in the bathtub. Then before getting dressed she had lain down just for a couple minutes. She hadn't intended to fall asleep but her intentions were apparently all for naught. She couldn't afford the luxury of sleep, she had to make arrangements to bring the girls home. She had decided to give up and go with Cassidy's whims one last time. She wasn't proud of her own decision. It meant that her time with Andrea was over and given the circumstances she couldn't tell what the future held for them. She also knew that it was time to seriously address the Cassidy issue or more like the idiot ex-husband's overly influential girlfriend issue. She sighed and crawled out from under the light blanket she had been covered with, by Andrea no doubt. Miranda almost felt like crying over the thoughtfulness of the young woman when she saw the small tray on the nightstand. A bottle of water, macarons, her reading glasses, cellphone and a note. Her stomach growled rather loudly and she realized how extremely hungry she was. She popped a macaron into her mouth and unfolded the note.

Dinner is ready whenever you are.

A

PS: You are beautiful. I swear I wasn't ogling you for too long.

She smiled and caressed the letters with her fingertips. Oh Andrea, you can ogle me as long as you wish. Wait a minute. Dinner? She checked the time on her phone and realized, that she slept through almost the whole day. Wonderful. It was five pm and no arrangements were put in place for the girls. She felt tempted to send a message to Emily and make her handle it, but dismissed the idea quickly. Although her faithful first assistant didn't have a clue, Miranda actually liked Emily and respected her for the hard work and loyalty she showed. It was Christmas Day and Emily deserved to be left alone.

Miranda opened a browser, to search for an available flight, when a discreet beep signaled a new incoming message. Cassidy.

Mom. You are the best. Today was awesome. We'll call you when we're back to the hotel. Now gotta run. Love you. And I'm sorry.

What was going on? Did the message mean they had changed their minds and wanted to stay after all? Why was Cassidy sorry? She dialed Cassidy's number, but it went straight to voicemail. She tried Caroline's and James' numbers too, without luck. It seemed she would have to wait for them to call. Until then, the mission to bring the girls back home could be put on hold. Her stomach grumbled again, demanding something more substantial than macarons, no matter how delicious they were. She dressed quickly and headed downstairs still wondering what to make of Cassidy's message.

"Andrea. I received this message from my daughter and I would like to know your…Andrea? Are you all right?"

The brunette didn't acknowledge Miranda's entrance. She was standing in the middle of the kitchen, a tray of fresh pasta in hand, staring intently at the pot of boiling water on the stove.

"Andrea?" Miranda stepped closer and gently touched her arm.

"Miranda. Sorry. I was just daydreaming here." Andy winked at the editor playfully and smiled. Miranda narrowed her eyes. The smile seemed forced and she couldn't help but notice the other woman's anxious energy. Andy kept looking at the pot and although the water was boiling over the rim she still didn't move.

"I didn't know when to expect you, so I just put the water on and let it simmer." She held up the tray "I made fresh pasta"

"I see. Are you planning to cook it any time soon? Or we just eat it as it is.?"

"Oh. Yes. Sorry about that." Andy dumped the pasta into the water and lowered the heat.

"You must be hungry by now."

"Hungry? That's an understatement, darling. Do you need a hand?"

"Would you grab the salad from the fridge please? This only needs a minute or two. Nothing fancy, Cacio e peppe."

She melted some butter in pan and ground a generous amount of black pepper into it. Adding the pasta, pasta water and pecorino cheese she shook the pan expertly with a flick of her wrist.

"Cacio e peppe? How did you…? Never mind. I'll get the salad."

Andy divided the pasta and placed one plate in front of Miranda. Miranda took a bite. It tasted amazing.

"When I got my first ever paycheck, hardly anything mind you, l thought it was worth celebrating nonetheless. There was this small, Italian restaurant next to our apartment, never been there before or any restaurant for that matter." Miranda took another bite and hummed. Delicious. "Cacio e peppe was the cheapest item on the menu yet I felt like a queen, dining in a restaurant. I haven't had any since then. I was told to never order anything pedestrian like that if I wanted to be taken seriously. I believed it."

"I know." Andy said, simply.

"You did? Did I? Of course I did. Perhaps I should ask you to write a memo about what I told you during my…my episode."

"I could do that. I remember every single one of your words. This dinner is a reminder of the small, simple things you have been missing from your life."

Miranda reached out and squeezed Andy's hand.

"Thank you, Andrea. You are a constant reminder of those things and I'm more than thankful for that. You certainly know how to make me feel special."

Andy glanced at the stove and shrugged.

"I…I don't make pasta too often you know."

There it was again. The anxious energy Miranda sensed earlier. She suspected it had something to do with their dinner or maybe the preparation of it? She decided to play along, as she didn't want to scare away the younger woman with direct questions. She knew, that her style of questioning sometimes sounded like an interrogation. Whatever it was, Andrea would tell her, when she was ready.

"Really? It's not that you have to worry about your figure."

"My figure? Guess not." Andy pushed aside her plate and leaned back. "I wasn't always like this. The smart, fat girl. I was the smart, fat girl for years."

Miranda didn't comment on the statement. She stopped eating though and waited for Andy to continue.

"At home no one really cared about my eating habits. Ed didn't live with us and while she notices my unhealthy habits, she wasn't able to influence any changes. At school everyone was older than me, I didn't fit in, and I had no friends. So I ate. A lot. I wasn't simply just overweight, Miranda. I fell into the extremely obese category."

Andy wrinkled her nose and licked her lips nervously. She looked at Miranda, expecting to see disapproval but there wasn't any. The editor's expression didn't give away what she was thinking, the only thing that was obviously present was her intense focus on Andy.

"As I said, smart, fat girl. After I started to work with Ed, she insisted that I move in to her penthouse. She hired a personal trainer and a chef and made sure that I worked out regularly and ate healthy, wholesome foods. Things slowly changed."

Andy stood and brought her half empty plate to the sink.

"Coffee?" she asked Miranda, who too arose from her seat and carried her own plate over.

"No, thank you. Why don't we move to the living room? Cleaning up can wait."

They settled in front of the fireplace and Andy was eager to go on with her revelations. It was painful to recall the bitter memories but she had to share. She wanted, no needed to confide in Miranda. She wasn't sure how it would end. The risk that with all her secrets out in the open, Miranda would abandon her, was high, yet she had to take a chance. Revealing her past and baring her soul was essential before they got to the point of literal exposure.

"It took us almost two years but we successfully revived the company. Business was up and flying high. Ed came to an agreement with our father. He handed over the company in exchange for a ridiculous amount of monthly appanage. Ed and I became the owners, at least that's what I and everybody else thought."

"What happened?"

"In reality she tricked father to sign the legal documents and she acquired the ownership, alone. She still transferred him some money every month, but hardly enough to maintain their accustomed lifestyle. I only found out about this years later, during our last, deal-breaking argument."

"Have you ever thought of challenging her in court? We are talking about millions here."

Andy shook her head.

"Money is not important for me, Miranda. I could make millions with almost no effort, using my so called financial talent. But that's not I want. I earn my living by doing what I love, what makes me content. And almost happy." She added after a second of hesitation.

"What hurts the most is not the loss of the company."

"But losing Ed?" asked Miranda gently.

Andy nodded and wiped her eyes. Stupid tears. She was not going to cry. She already cried enough tears for a lifetime.

"Our problems started after I turned eighteen. By that time I had transformed into a whole new person. Fit and healthy. I got rid of my braces and my pimples were gone. I wasn't invisible anymore. Men began to recognize me. But on the inside I was still the same fat girl, with all the same insecurities and fears. So I accepted the courtship of someone, who knew me before my make-over."

Miranda didn't have to think hard, she perceived right away, who Andy was talking about.

"The chef."

Andy grimaced.

"Yes. Nate. He asked me out and I said yes. Ed wasn't happy about it in the least. She was concerned abouts Nate's real intentions. She was convinced that he only wanted my money. I didn't listen to her and we argued a lot. Things got worse, when she met someone and fell in love. "

"I understand that it was a disaster. Her love story hit the news?"

"It was a nightmare. It was my turn to warn Ed, that the love of her life was only after her money. Ed was furious and accused me of being jealous of her relationship. I showed her evidence of the woman's betrayal – she stole money from the company and from Ed's private bank account - but she refused to listen. Ironic isn't it?"

"It appears, that you both saw the shortcomings of the other's relationship but ignored the shortcomings in your own."

"Basically yes. We ruined our family for what? For two gold diggers."

Andy threw a log into the fire and stared at the orange flames for a long minute. When she spoke again her voice was so low, Miranda had to lean forward to catch the words.

"You know, I knew from the very beginning that Nate was not good for me. I just wanted to belong so badly, that I overlooked his flaws and behavior. He pulled me down, he fed my insecurities by keeping the image of the fat, ugly girl alive in my head. He spent my money as if it was his and I didn't mind. Money was the only thing he cared about. I left Ed and moved in to my own apartment. In theory, Nate lived with me, but days often passed without me seeing him. He kept himself busy with other women. I stayed with the company for two more years. It was a torture. Ed and I barely tolerated each other, we only spoke when it was unavoidable. Then she found out the truth about her lover and she turned into someone I didn't recognize anymore. She became hateful and cruel. She made questionable business decisions, which resulted in people losing their jobs. I was always proud of the humanistic way we handled business and I couldn't let that happen. I called her out. Reminded her that we were both in charge and she couldn't just do what she wanted. "

"And then you finally uncovered the facts about the company's ownership?"

"Yes. She threw it into my face. I was so pissed off, I didn't even look at the documents. I stormed out of her office and never looked back. I haven't seen or talked to her since then. Seven years have passed and she's used all her power to make my life miserable all this time."

Andy struggled to her feet and started to pace. All these memories were affecting her greatly, but she didn't want to stop. She had to finish her story, she had to see how Miranda would react.

"After leaving the company I made a lot of changes to my life. I have an impeccable pallet, strong work ethic and a real passion for food. I put those to use in the restaurant business. I slowly worked my way up to sous chef. I felt free and I was doing what made me happy. Nate didn't take the changes well. The money was tight and he was jealous of me.

"Jealous?"

"He is a trained chef, I'm not. Yet I was invited to kitchens he just dreamt of. It didn't sit well with him. He also despised that I acquired some friends. I wasn't the lonely, pathetic creature anymore who he could use. The ugly, fat girl retired for good and with that he lost his power over me. He drank a lot and I only saw him when he needed money. The real turning point was when I was asked to compete in Iron Chef. One night I was practicing for the next challenge in a friend's restaurant. Nate showed up. He was drunk and very angry. Actually he was out of control. He had acted aggressive or verbally abusive before, however he never got physical."

Andy stopped and shuddered. Miranda stood and took a step toward her, desperately wanting to comfort the torn woman. Andy raised her hands, stopping her from approaching.

"Please, no. I have to finish this. If you come closer I won't be able to."

Miranda halted, giving Andy the space she required, but didn't sit back down. Miranda braced herself, assuming that whatever was coming, was possibly crucial regarding their relationship.

"He threw a pot of boiling water at me." Andy pulled up her shirt with one swift motion, revealing her scarred skin.

"This is who I am. Burnt. Damaged. And now you are free to change your mind and leave. I won't hold it against you."