Chapter 11

Catching Up

"It's called a root beer float—"

"I know what it is. I'm questioning why I have to drink it."

"We're blending in. Besides, trying new things will be good for you."

"I don't need to try a root beer float to blend in when the humans are down there and we're up here."

"Come on, you'll love it."

"I don't think Hasmal agrees with you, Ezekiel… Where did you even get it?"

"Oh, hey, Muriel. I, uh, got it from Earth. Hehe."

"I figured that, but since when do you bring stuff back to share?"

"He collects human things like a dragon hoards gold."

"Hey!"

"What? It's true."

"That's not fair! Just because I like this stuff doesn't mean you get to tease me for it!"

"Now, now, that's enough you three."

"It's just a bit of fun. You didn't have to ruin it, Jegudiel."

"As if he'd ever forgo his responsibilities."

"Rude."

"Like you're one to talk."

"Children, behave."

"Yes, oh great Sandalphon. What be your next wish?"

"What is with you idiots today?"

"Why is everyone being so mean?"

"Ah, we don't mean anything by it, Camael…"

"I should slap all of you over the head."

"Zadkiel!"

"… When did you get here?"

"When you all started making a commotion, that's when. Sandalphon: Metatron's looking for you—"

"Of course he his."

"—Jegudiel: your shift on Earth starts tomorrow; get some rest before you go. Muriel: Leliel and Seraphiel mentioned something about a constellation being off—"

"What?! Not again!"

"—Ezekiel, Hashmal: Israfel needs you and the rest of your choir group in the auditorium."

"Ugh, now this float's gonna go to waste."

"I don't want it. Camael can have it. The fizz will make her laugh."

"I can have it? Yay!"

"Uh, yeah, sure. Later, Cammie!"

"Bye, Zeke!" the young angel called to her brothers in a cheerful farewell. As soon as they were gone, she let out a weary but relieved sigh. "Thanks for getting rid of them, Zadkiel. I thought they'd never leave."

Her older brother smiled at her with a warm chuckle. "Anytime, Cammie. What were they doing around your garden anyways?"

Camael shrugged, picking at some loose leaves that needed to be cleared away. "I did pick this spot because you can get a pretty good view of Earth from here," she offered in answer.

"Earth? Yes. Good view? Not so much," he teased, faking several attempts to 'get a better view'.

"I just wanted to see Earth without getting distracted by all of the people," she huffed defensively, though she knew his words were merely in jest. "Kemuel helped me get this spot."

Green eyes glinted with mischief. "Oh, she spoils you way too much."

"The only one who spoils me is you."

Zadkiel put a hand over where a human's heart would be as if struck by his little sister's words. "Surely you lie?" he questioned with a hurt look, all seriousness killed by his broad smile.

"As if," she retorted, rolling her eyes.

The red flowers Camael was tending to caught Zadkiel's eye. "Are these new? I don't think I've seen them here before…"

"Huh? Oh, Dad got me these before He—" Camael suddenly clapped her hands over her mouth. Almost as if she was about to let something slip she really should be keeping a secret.

Zadkiel caught on to this of course, but he plowed on with the grace of a bull in a china shop. "Were you about to allude to why Dad hasn't been around Heaven for a while?"

"Maybe," she answered in a squeak, completely avoiding her older brother's eyes.

Zadkiel pouted somewhat at her avoidance, crossing his arms in a bout of continued immaturity. And then he let it go. Making Camael uncomfortable never ended well for anyone.

"You seen Kemuel lately?" he asked, unabashedly changing the entire subject while plopping himself down next to where Camael sat in her elegant yet modest garden.

Camael shook her head. "I haven't, but Barachiel was complaining about Ishmael sending Anael to replace Poyel instead, and during that discussion, Ishmael mentioned seeing Kem."

"Oh, yeah, I remember Barachiel complaining about that," Zadkiel mused, absentmindedly picking at the grass. "Any idea what she's doing on Earth this time?"

"A while back I overheard Israfel and Raziel plotting something to do with Lucifer and Ms. Decker, but there hasn't been any other mention of Kemuel or Los Angeles or Lucifer or Ms. Decker. And no one's even thought of Mom," Camael reported wearily.

"How you can get all of that from emotions, I will never understand," Zadkiel complimented her appraisingly. "But, still, it's a talent that suits you."

Camael beamed at the praise. "Why thank you, brother. Your flattery is appreciated, but it won't get you anywhere."

"… I don't know what you're talking about."

"Honestly, Zad," Camael said sweetly. "The only other angel I spend more time with is Kemuel. I know when you're trying to get something out of me. And you're really not as subtle as you think you are."

Zadkiel sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Caught red-handed then."

"Well?"

The older angel leaned over to whisper into Camael's ear. A quiet breeze rustled the plants in the small garden as Camael's light pink eyes widened and snapped to lock gazes with Zadkiel's own forest green eyes.

—o~O~o—

"You wouldn't," Leliel gasped, shocked by her twin's words.

Azrael stood strong against her sister's silent accusation. "The decision's already been made."

"You'd let that demon parade around Hell?"

"It wasn't my call, Ellie," Azrael snapped.

The angel of night let out a scoff. "Because you don't hate that guy," she replied with a raised eyebrow, not even offended by her sister's anger.

"It's not about if I hate him or not," the angel of death ground out, her foot tapping on the ground in frustration. "It was about if he could do the job or not, and the rest of the Council decided that he was qualified."

"Lucifer at least kept the place neat and clean. That guy will leave guts and body parts everywhere. Blood not even splattered in patterns," Leliel complained.

"Leliel, focus! It's bad enough as it is. Hell is barely keeping itself together. Someone has to take control, or it'll all fall into chaos. And if that happens, guess who gets to guard the gates until control is regained? Me. I refuse to stay in that place any longer than I need to. Besides, I would still have my reaper duties on top of guarding those stupid gates…"

Leliel nodded at the appropriate moments as Azrael continued to rant about Hell in general. She didn't get why they couldn't just let Alistair take over Hell. If she recalled correctly, he and Mazikeen used to get along pretty well for demons. And he was kind of OCD despite being Hell's next best torturer. At least if he was in charge there wouldn't be gross bits strewn about the place.

But, no. The Council wanted Asmodeus to rule. That pig was a mess. They couldn't have even picked one of their fallen brethren. Azazel would have been a far better option than any old demon. The fanatic would have kept everything going the way Lucifer had ruled Hell in any case. (Not that this really mattered all that much since the change in authority wouldn't technically happen for, like, a while... an undetermined, long while.)

"… then it would be Crowley who might be next in line. But if he has to rule Hell, Aziraphale would be upset, and— Are you even listening?"

"You were raving about who gets to rule Hell," Leliel answered without missing a beat.

It wasn't like she was new to this side of Azrael. Her twin had to release her anger somehow, and if it came out in the form of a rant, Leliel was there to listen. Sometimes it was more explosive than other times, but it was well worth not having a pissed off angel of death instead. Of course, no one could beat worst temper tantrum ever when it came to Lucifer. He was kicked out for a reason after all, and that was putting it nicely.

And everything worked out pretty well in the end, so all things considered, maybe Lucifer learned from his mistakes somewhere along the way… Nah, he was definitely still learning. What was that human saying? You learn something everyday..? Leliel felt like she was missing a word or two.

"… Kemuel goes off to play cryptic angel down on Earth, leaving the rest of us here to figure out what we're going to do if Mom does find a way to get back into Heaven. We're so screwed if that sorry excuse for a mother—"

"You might not want to finish that thought," Leliel interrupted right as Metatron and Sandalphon landed in the clearing next to them.

"Angels of death and night, respectively, how are you this fine morning?"

"Just peachy, you stuck up scribe," Azrael muttered under her breath.

Leliel smacked her sister's arm. "Azra, just because you're in a bad mood doesn't meant you can insult our younger siblings," the angel of night reprimanded her twin.

"Everyone seems to be in foul moods as of late," Sandalphon observed. "I wonder if it's because of Father's absence."

Metatron made a quick silencing motion. "We're not supposed to talk about that," he hissed.

"Oh, please. Everyone on the Council knows He's been MIA ever since Camael last saw Him in the Garden," Azrael scoffed with a roll of her dark eyes. "Everyone else is too preoccupied with Lucifer and the drama he stirs up with his human to notice anything's wrong."

"Some of us like a bit of entertainment," Leliel huffed defensively.

She was, unrepentantly, the Heavenly Council's biggest supporter of the Deckerstar fandom in the Silver City. (What? Someone had to give the okay to all of the large gatherings that were all because of Lucifer and Chloe Decker.) The other Council members knew about Leliel's involvement, of course. Raziel even helped Leliel out sometimes – you know, with the crowd control. Not that having too many angels over was ever a problem.

Speaking of Raziel, Leliel knew she was up to something. The angel of night wasn't quite sure what it was yet, but predetermined-fate was about to be meddled with, which was something that was not easy to do unless you knew exactly how to do it right. And that was something Uriel was decently good at…

"Leliel!"

"Yes! What?"

"Could you at least pay attention when we're talking about one of the only things you like talking about nowadays?" her sister fumed.

Leliel had the decency to look sheepish. "Recap?"

Metatron let out a semi-offended huff and began, "Remember Lucifer and Ms. Decker's lover's quarrel? Well, they've gotten over that and finally kissed— something I'm sure all of you fans fawned over. Anyways, they're caught up with some mysterious case involving the murders of college students. Of course, we know that murderer is some professor named Jason Carlisle—"

"But what some of us are more concerned about is what Mother is going to tell Lucifer very soon," Sandalphon cut in before his twin could go on an extremely long tangent. "Remiel has reported that Chloe is one of Father's miracle children, which is fine by us; however, if Lucifer were to find out…"

"He would think that Dad is messing with him through destiny, and it would ruin his and Chloe's relationship," Leliel concluded with a thoughtful frown.

Sandalphon nodded. "Yes, and Raziel has brought up a proposition: send Israfel down to Earth as a distraction so that Mother doesn't have the chance to tell him and then have someone else tell him."

Leliel blinked, tilting her head to the side. "But telling him would defeat the purpose of having Israfel— oh! You mean that you'd have someone who could convince him that Chloe being a miracle child isn't a bad thing tell him."

"Exactly," Metatron confirmed with a sniff, clearly miffed at having his spotlight stolen.

"Okay, so I get that… Why send Israfel?" Leliel inquired, still somewhat confused. This was what she got for not paying attention. "I know she's a fan, like a super fan, but I don't see how she'd be able to distract Lucifer. I mean, she can be pretty distracting when she's singing, but… You're going to have her go to him as a fan that wants him to 'help her with something', aren't you?" she ended flatly, giving them a blank, unamused stare.

"It's not a bad cover story," Azrael pointed out.

Leliel scowled. "That's so not fair, " she pouted. "Everyone gets to go to Earth nowadays."

"Not everyone," Sandalphon muttered.

Metatron rolled his eyes. "It's your own fault for losing that medallion, and you know it."

"I set it down for like two seconds to make sure that the triplets were all okay, and when I turned back around, it was gone!"

"You just lost it. Admit—"

A harmonious bell chime sounded through the Silver City, causing them all to stop and look towards the Garden. They all knew what the sound meant, and it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. After sharing a curious look with her twin, Azrael was the first to take off, followed by Leliel and then the other pair of twins.

—o~O~o—

"Are You sure this is a good idea?" Kemuel asked for what might have been the fifth time in the past seven minutes.

"I'd like to think this is one of my better ideas, yes."

Kemuel narrowed her eyes at her Father. He might think this was going to go well right now, but that might be different after what He had planned finally panned out. The mental institution He had admitted Himself into as God Johnson really wasn't helping to build confidence.

"You've already been in here for six months," she commented with a pointed stare. "I know for a fact that six months ago You were in Heaven, not here."

"I may have done a bit of space-time manipulation," He admitted, not looking the slightest bit like He'd done anything wrong whatsoever.

"Father."

"Kemuel."

She let out a sigh. "I suppose I should put myself on the emergency contact list in case my senile father decides to do something else terribly drastic," she mused, standing up.

"How thoughtful, but rude nonetheless," He muttered.

"I have to keep You out of trouble somehow," she said with a smile. "I'll try to be back sometime next week, okay?"

He gave her a mild glare, unamused. "I might have admitted myself to this place, but that doesn't mean I'm actually mentally unstable. Therefore, you have no need to treat me as such."

"See you next week," she called back to Him as she left the room.

One of the orderlies showed her back to the front desk, and she gave the receptionist a carefully made smile. It wasn't often that she did something like this, but it was a talent of hers, another one that was attributed to her title. Though instead of the natural need for humans to trust her that the other talent caused, Kemuel was using the one that wasn't unlike Lucifer's ability to draw out a human's desires, a sort of focused push on the human's mind.

A brief – unnoticeable to any but the ones the look was directed to, really – flash of violet colored her irises as she told the receptionist, "You can trust me."

"I trust you," the receptionist responded after a moment, looking slightly dazed.

"You see, I have a bit of a problem that I know I can depend on you to take care of," Kemuel said earnestly with that careful smile still held in full force. "One of the patients here, God Johnson, he's my father, and I need you to put me on his emergency contacts list… confidentially."

It took the receptionist a moment to answer. "I can do that. Who should I put you down as, and how should I contact you?"

Kemuel gave the receptionist her name – the human one she'd made for herself, anyway – as well as the number of the cellphone she'd had Nathaniel tinker with to work wherever she went, which included both Heaven and Hell. With one last show of that smile, Kemuel walked out of the mental institution, dropping the smile as soon as she turned around. As pleasant as this place was, she didn't wish to stay any longer than she needed to, which was the main reason she'd been somewhat annoyed that He had chosen to admit Himself in order to put Himself in Lucifer's path.

Why, she didn't even want to begin to question because she knew it would just lead to more questions that would result in a headache. He sometimes did things for reasons that made no sense to her, and other times He would do things that were so understandable that it hurt. Perhaps it was a good thing that He was often somewhere in between when she usually talked with Him.

Kemuel sighed, taking off. She needed to get back to the Silver City before her siblings got mad at her again.

—o~O~o—

"Um, excuse me, but are you Lucifer Morningstar?" a young blonde with bright blue eyes nervously asked, stepping up to them.

Lucifer stared at her for a moment, casting a glance over at Mum and Maze for a split-second before breaking out his signature smile and answering. "Why, yes. Yes, I am."

"OMG— for real?!" the girl exclaimed, eyes lighting up with joy. "Some of my friends recorded you singing in your club, and when I saw you walk in here, I knew I had to get some kind of autograph!"

As flattering as that was, it couldn't be all she wanted. "Oh, well, with an attitude like that, I'm sure I can do you one better…" he offered suggestively – not that he would do anything for her that would ruin his relationship with Chloe; he was a committed man now, after all.

The girl seemed stunned for all of three seconds, and then she snapped out of it. "Could you— Would you mind, um, singing this song that I— that I wrote..?" she stammered. "I-if it could be a private recording, I'd really appreciate it."

Lucifer felt slightly taken aback. Who was he to deny such an innocent desire, especially one that he could enjoy without getting into any trouble with Chloe? "I don't see why not."

Seeing the girl's smile at his answer, he turned to bid farewell to his demon companion and his mum, tired of their confusing nonsense. He left the bar without seeing that damning photo tacked to the wall with all of the other pictures of different customers that had come in over the years. Nor did he see the not-so-innocent smile that bloomed on the girl's face as he lead her back to his bar for that private recording.

A/N: Ngl, I'm not too sure if God Johnson really would act like that. Oh well. At this point if He's acting differently than in the show, it's because of the AU…

Last edited: [1/15/2020]

Guest 1: Fan service at its finest ;-) And no, it didn't annoy me. I think the one of the only ways you could annoy me would be to start trash talking.

Guest 2: You're pretty awesome yourself.