Chapter 15

Uncharted Waters

"He was able to ignite the sword."

"I know."

Her hands briefly curled into tight fists before she forced herself to relax. "He'll be drawn here soon," Kemuel added after a moment.

"I know."

"Sometimes I wonder if this is what You had planned from the very beginning. All of this, just to tie up loose ends," she told Him.

He didn't even turn from the window to look at her. It was that kind of day. "Is that so?"

"There's a reason You're called wrathful and forgiving, sometimes malevolent yet wholly benevolent." She paused and then continued. "And for a Being with nigh-omnipotence and nigh-omniscience, You rarely do anything."

She didn't need to see His face to know He'd raised an eyebrow. "Am I such a horrible father for not being a helicopter parent?" He asked.

"What You did wasn't helicopter parenting," she muttered.

"True, but that's not the point." He let out a sigh. "I admit, I have the unfortunate tendency to overreact. Nevertheless, why go back and change things when the chance to amend those mistakes is just on the horizon? If you really disapprove of my methods, you don't have to stay by my side. You asked for free agency, and I gave it to you and all of your siblings."

"You know that if I leave, they will too. I can't do that… not to them."

He turned His head slightly at that, all-knowing eyes glancing at her human form. "Michael asked about you," He said after a long silence.

"Oh?" she prompted.

"He pities you," He continued, voice lined with a touch of reluctance.

For good reason. "He's not the one cleaning up Your mess," she bit out.

"It's not like you to be bitter, Kemuel."

"I can be whatever I want to be. You ensured that, so let me have this moment."

"Of course," He conceded, returning his gaze back to the window. "I'll not deny you that… I should be back in Heaven by the end of the week, given Lucifer doesn't distract me."

"I think dear Mother will be far more distracting than Lucifer," the angel scoffed, uncrossing her arms as she prepared to leave, knowing He would dismiss her soon.

When He said nothing else, she left.

—o~O~o—

It was called the Room of Reflection for a reason and not just because it was a dramatic name that happened to be fairly accurate to what the room was for. It was a place of the inner self, a place to learn, reflect and embrace what something… inside meant. And, in part, that was why most angels didn't venture near that part of the Silver City. There was something just… unnerving about being near the pool in the center of the room that kept those who didn't need to look in away.

Phanuel was one of the very small minority of angels that could stand to be in the room for longer than required. As such, he found the Room of Reflection to be one of the best places to hide when he wanted to be alone. It wasn't that he didn't love his siblings, but they could get… loud.

Sometimes he wondered if they realized how obnoxious they could get.

Sometimes those thoughts went a little too far, and he felt the sharp stab of guilt immediately after.

Sometimes that guilt drove him to the Room of Reflection.

That quiet place where he could actual hear himself think. That place where it was easy to understand and accept and overcome the guilt. That place that no one else wanted to be near because it always revealed one too many secrets – secrets that should stay buried.

Phanuel held a resentment for those secrets. He knew what they were – maybe not the exact thing, but at least the nature of them. Those secrets… All of the angels in the Silver City had one. Some had more than others, but everyone hid them away even though everyone knew they shared a piece of that secret.

They were all broken in some way or another. No one quite wanted to admit it. It was harder to keep the secret for some – like Camael, whose scars were far more visible than anyone else's. Others pushed their secrets to the backs of their minds, as if that was enough to forget, to truly make it go away. And there were the few who managed to take their secret and benefit from it, accepting it for what it was and doing better for it.

Phanuel was not one of those few, but at least he could recognize it – in himself and in others. And, reflecting on older times, he thought that no one quite remembered what it was like before. Oh, sure, they had memories of those times, but the feelings and emotions that came with those memories had long dulled in their time of peace – a time in which they'd thought all was well and nothing was broken and it would stay that way forever. (They never dared to think it could be otherwise.)

We are all cowards, no matter how small.

The Goddess's escape from Her cell in Hell had brought it all back like a sharp knife reopening a sore wound, and everyone was desperately trying to stop the bleeding before the body gave up. They were smiling and acting as normal as they could with each other to hide just how bad it was. What else could one do to reassure a dying man?

What ideal dreams must we conjure… to turn and face our fears?

And yet, they all yearned to stop hurting in a world full of pain.

In the end, do we even have a choice? For there, at our final rest, Your Will be done.

Forgive me. Forgive them. Forgive us. Release thy burdens, and let none but serenity be of thy hold. Blest. Bless. Blessed.

—o~O~o—

Chloe was worried. She couldn't get Lucifer to say anything about why he'd left so suddenly or what the family matter had been. She'd been alone (relatively) for two weeks before he just showed up out of nowhere and waltzed back into her life like nothing had changed. Which, to be fair, was only partly wrong.

She had waited those two long weeks, willing to do so only by Zadkiel's persistent reassurances that Lucifer would come back for her. There were a couple other people – people she didn't necessarily recognize but had the innate feeling were somehow related to Lucifer's family – who she noticed watching her, but it wasn't like she was able to do anything about it. And, of course, as soon as Lucifer was back in her life, those people practically vanished.

Eventually she and Lucifer settled back into their routine, and Lucifer apologized (again), and then there was the case with the school and Lucifer being Lucifer… There were dates – actual dates – that he took her out for, and they were almost strangely sweet and thoughtful, and it was the little things.

Lucifer paid attention, she was realizing. She had noticed it before, though normally it was buried behind all kinds of disguises and other times he was just plain ignoring the facts in front of him. But when Lucifer paid attention, he picked up on everything – to what she would have called a supernatural degree if she hadn't seen it from others.

And, perhaps most importantly, he paid attention to her. Well, he was still Lucifer (and really, she could never want him to stop because Lucifer was Lucifer, and she didn't want to change that), so it wasn't super obvious as to what he was doing. Again, it was the little things.

First of all, he was actively trying to be nicer to Trixie – emphasis on trying. Somehow that attitude went to everyone Chloe cared about in some form or fashion, so maybe she shouldn't have been as surprised as she was when Lucifer put a damper on being excessively antagonistic towards Dan (to be fair, it was only by a little bit, but she thought it counted at least). Ella was even on the receiving end of this 'more friendly'-ness, though Chloe was less sure that it had to do with how she felt towards their go-to forensics expert and more that Ella and Lucifer had found some common ground.

Then, there was the way Chloe could tell Lucifer had yet to invite anyone else besides her and his various family members up to his penthouse (though it was debatable on whether or not he actually invited aforementioned family members). There was also how she had the feeling he was drinking significantly less, and she didn't think he'd done drugs in a while either. He hadn't told her any of this, but she knew.

She knew just like she knew that he wouldn't be running off like that again. At least, not without telling her.

(She had assurance about that from every single on of Lucifer's siblings that she currently knew of, though whether or not she realized who they were at the time is a fickle detail.)

It wasn't normal by any means, but it was normal enough for them. And Chloe would take what she could get, especially when that meant Lucifer was actually acting like a semi-mature human being. He cared – about her – and that was all that really mattered.

It was nice – really nice.

Which was why she was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The shoe came in the form of a case: the death of an orderly at a mental institution. Apparently, "God" was at said mental institution, and Lucifer went after the man like a hound chasing a fox. It wasn't that Chloe was confused about Lucifer's latest obsession; it was more that she was thrown for a loop when Kemuel got involved.

Not that Kemuel was at the institution. No, Chloe had met up with her at a café across from some bookshop that was kind of a hole in the wall Kemuel said she knew of – the bookshop, not the café.

"Oh, you met Father?" the younger woman had asked with that disarming smile gracing her face, barely hidden by the cup she was drinking from.

"Wait— that guy is actually—"

Kemuel frowned before cutting Chloe off. "Yes… and no."

Chloe was a bit stumped. "Uh, what do you mean 'yes and no'?" she asked while trying not to sound like a total ass.

"Yes, he is our father, but Johnson is not his name," Kemuel answered after a pause – which hadn't been hesitant as much as it had been careful. "I'd recommend letting Lucifer be for these matters. I imagine any confrontations will get heated, but it's the end result that you want to look out for."

Kemuel had spent the rest of the conversation blatantly not responding to any of Chloe's attempts at getting them back onto the subject, and she eventually left with that pleasant smile of hers, paying for the check plus a generous tip. Chloe stared at the empty chair opposite of her for a while after Kemuel had left before scowling at the spot and then leaving herself.

She just didn't understand. One moment, Lucifer's family made some semblance of sense, and the next, Chloe had no idea what to make of them. She was missing something – some insanely important piece of the puzzle.

—o~O~o—

Zadkiel was… mad. Well, no. He was fairly level-headed when it came to most things, and even now, he wasn't exactly wrathful or aggrieved. But— But he most certainly wasn't very happy at the moment either.

Why wasn't he very happy? Oh, well it more than likely had to do with the fact that he was getting reports of more and more of his younger siblings sneaking down to Earth. And while they weren't interfering where they weren't supposed to or breaking any of their Commandments, per say, they weren't supposed to be on Earth without permission.

So Zadkiel was left with a predicament.

Because he couldn't exactly punish the angels who'd snuck out of Heaven. But he couldn't just not do anything either.

... He was going to have to put his foot down. Whether anyone liked it or not.

It was one thing for Kemuel to do it: even knowing the consequences involved with a divine being interacting with the mortal populations, she was less at risk than her younger siblings – for reasons that Zadkiel wasn't completely privy to. The biggest he could think of being that she had His backing more often than not. Any earth-shattering consequences she was the cause of wouldn't be looked over, of course, but it would be more easily dealt with.

And Kemuel knew what she was supposed to be doing. It was an uncanny knowledge that came from listening to Father's ramblings (or so she said). Though, Zadkiel had the feeling that while that might have a grain of truth, Kemuel didn't exactly like what was coming.

None of them did, really. The Goddess of Creation was on Earth with a slowly decaying human body, which would only hold Her for so long and therefore meant that it was only a matter of time before She was make Her way to Heaven to confront Him. The angels didn't have the power to stop Her, and while Zadkiel knew the rest of the archangels didn't want anything to do with her anymore, they had also made it clear that they wouldn't hurt Her unless God told them to, which was about as unlikely to happen as Lucifer repenting and donning a halo again.

Then again, with everything that was going on down on Earth— No. No, actually it was looking more like Lucifer might simply give up being the Devil in order to be with Chloe.

After the whole mess of a misunderstanding, Lucifer was back with Chloe Decker and things were fine between them. At least, they were as fine as the angels could tell, tip-toeing around LA and trying to be subtle on their spying on the relatively happy couple.

(Really, for all their attempts at keeping it a secret, the whole family knew Aziraphale and Crowley were a thing ever since the unfortunate mishap back in the 1990s – and that the two had been 'friends' even back when the Romans were around. But anyway, point was, the angels were okay with siblings having relationships. They were just a little nosy about it.)

The angels wanted Lucifer and Chloe to work. They really did.

But this wasn't just about Lucifer and Chloe anymore.

Zadkiel sighed, leaning on the balcony's railing and watching his brothers and sisters go about their duties. They'd been hurt a long, long time ago. None of them had forgotten that – it was impossible to. It was just… After so long of nothing happening, it had been so easy to say they'd moved on.

Kemuel knew better. Zadkiel knew better – at least, he did now.

"What fallible beings we are."

"That's a big word," a voice cut into his thoughts. "You must be in a mood."

"It's just the usual headache that comes from dealing with the antics of younger siblings," he drawled, waving the angel of night off.

She only moved closer at his dismissal. "At this rate, you might get to see Raphael for a healing that you need."

Zadkiel didn't answer right away. Leliel would have seen through any attempt at misdirection either way. For all that she didn't pay attention, she was observant.

"Gather the Council." At her questioning look, he added, "We need to talk about our siblings."

A/N: It's short and kinda all over the place, I know. But I'll post my last interlude tomorrow, and then at some point the end will come – though whether it'll be in two chapters or less or more will be up to my muse.

Last edited: [1/18/2020]

madcloisfan: I'm sure lol. If I could make it that long, I promise I'd try, but I doubt it'd even make it to 25