answers to reviewers questions or statements:
Jebest4781: The events of season one will largely be the same, though Peter won't be taking part in any of it, though some of the stuff that did happen in it will be explored a bit more in detail during the events of season two which in itself will be very different to what we saw on the show.
StonerMcWeed: Where the fuck are you getting that from?
Shocknawe 425: A few will appear in this, but no one massive like Ares or Circe.
Disclaimer: I don't own any Marvel or DC characters seen, mentioned or used.
Mornings between Peter, Diana and Donna was normally a very tamed affair compared to last night's activities.
Where's some couples would love to engage in a passionate romp or two of morning sex to start off their day, Donna and Diana didn't. Donna's reasoning was because she refused to kiss someone with morning breath while Diana would make a beeline straight for the bathroom to start up a shower to wash away the dried fluids that accumulated on and in her body after last night. Peter personally didn't mind as it meant he could slowly recover from keeping two Amazons pleased the previous night in peace and not have to worry about straining his body even further than it already had been.
"So what are your plans for the day?" Diana asked as she slid into Peter's lap, causing him to wrap an arm around her waist to keep her close.
"Start my new job" Peter nodded towards Donna as she continued to spread an ungodly amount of jelly on her toast "Hey Donna, you want some toast with that jelly? Or are you just gonna cut out the middle man and just eat from the jar instead?"
"Screw you!" Donna flipped Peter off as she shoved a slice into her mouth, leaving grape flavored jelly smeared on her lips and cheeks.
"You already did/You did" Diana and Peter said with matching smirks as Donna prepared another slice of toast for a jelly-esque waterboard.
Personally Peter couldn't understand how Donna could eat so much grape flavored jelly when Blueberry was superior in every way. Diana meanwhile preferred her toast lathered in peanut butter and would balk at the idea of adding jelly to it, much to both Peter and Donna's confusion and horror.
Where'd Hippolyta go wrong with raising her daughter?
'Maybe I can ask her when she visits next time' Peter thought with a silent chuckle as he took a sip of his coffee 'Assuming of course, Diana and Donna let us actually be in the same room with one another. I mean, she has to have gotten over that whole thing with Venom trying to eat her by now, right?'
Honestly, Peter doesn't even remember what happened exactly anyway, on account of Venom being in the 'driver's seat' the whole time. The only thing that Peter could remember from the whole event with perfect clarity was Diana bringing her foot down on his head, driving both man and symbiote into the earth by a good several meters.
Hell of a first date if you ask him.
"Gotta long day ahead of you Di?" Donna asked as she took a bit of her jelly logged toast.
Diana shook her head at this "No, but I have monitor duty with the League later"
"Hurray" Donna sighed while Peter looked at his Amazonian lover with interest.
"With who? Is it Superman again? Or maybe Batman?" Peter asked.
"Neither, it's... Plastic Man" Diana said with a frown.
"What's wrong with Plastic Man?" Peter asked with confusion as he remembered his own encounters with the elastic hero.
"Grow some tits and get a vagina and you'll see" Donna said with a unlady like snort "Could never take a shower up there because he could be the fucking floor for all I know"
"I think you guys are exaggerating a little" Peter said with a sheepish laugh "I mean, yeah he's kinda... intrusive, but I doubt he'd risk-"
"He once imitated my blankets" Diana said with a straight face "As you know, I sleep in the nude so..."
Peter blinked in surprise at this "He what?"
Diana nodded at this "I only realized he was doing it when I brought Steve to the Watchtower after my shift of Monitor Duty to make love and he revealed himself when me and Steve had reached the bed"
"That must've been... fun?" Peter said as he tried to imagine just how mad Diana had to have been.
"Legends say that eve to this day, you can still hear the echoes of Plastic Man's screams at night" Donna teased as she finished her toast.
"I believe it" Peter joked as he pulled Diana a little closer to him, causing her to grin as she ran a hand through his hair "Also, remind me to web him to Aquaman's undies next time he decides to do them on the Watchtower"
Diana chuckled at this before she placed a loving kiss on Peter's head as she reluctantly climbed off his lap and wen to gather her things for another day in the life of Wonder Woman. Donna and Peter settled into a comfortable silence as they ate their respective breakfast, jelly logged toast for Donna, sugary cereal that would give even cavities cavities. Once they were done, Donna headed to the bathroom for a quick shower while Peter, who was already showered and dressed for the day, headed down stairs to wait for her.
A bit of a risky move considering Artemis was still angry about the whole Drone thing, but he reasoned that as big as this building was, and the various other duties Artemis had, there was no way she'd be down at the lobby by the time Donna came down and they left.
'Heh, who knows? Maybe old Arty finally took a day off to enjoy-' Peter thought as he began to step out of the elevator and into the main lobby before freezing at the sight of Artemis. or at least her back, a few meters in front of him, talking to a an he's never seen before.
Okay, this could be bad, or it could be Artemis is being picked up by a guy and she's going out on a date-
"Peter Parker, if you don't step out of that elevator now so others can use it, I'm peeling your cock off and feeding it to a gorgon" Artemis growled as she slowly turned away from the slightly amused man in front of her and glared at Peter "Your choice"
"Where the heck do you even have a gorgon?" Peter asked as he stepped out from the elevator and allowed it's doors to close and the cab to be called back up for someone on one of the higher levels.
"Chained to the foot of my bed" Artemis revealed before she turned back towards the mysterious man "She'll be down soon"
The man nodded his thanks towards the red headed Amazon and adjusted the grip he had on his bag while Peter stared at him in confusion.
"Uhhh, who are you?" Peter asked the man with a curious look.
It wasn't every day Peter met a guy that Artemis didn't put through a wall... or in the ground. Or through a wall than in the ground. In fact Peter can't even remember the las time she actually did talk to a man outside of Peter himself.
"I'm Dick, Dick Grayson" the man held his hand out for Peter to take "I'm an old friend of Donna's"
The wall crawler briefly looked at the offered hand before he slowly reached out and took it, giving the man a single handshake before letting him go "Old friend huh?"
"Yeah..." Dick nodded as he adjusted the bag strap on his shoulder.
"Whelp, I'm her boyfriend and this is the first time I'm hearing about you" Peter said as his eyes briefly flickered towards Artemis.
The red head was watching them both with a guarded expression, though Peter noticed she seemed coiled to lash out. Somehow, Peter just knew that he'd still end up getting hit by the Amazon's first, she was still mad at him for his escaped drones it seems. Dick's eyes widened a little at the word 'boyfriend' and seemed to be trying to find an appropriate response until he noticed something over Peter's shoulder and gave it a bright, friendly smile followed by a wave.
"Hey Donna!"
"Dick?" Donna's voice echoed from behind Peter, laced with a mixture of surprise and happiness as she stepped out from the elevator and walked up to the two men.
Seeing that she was no longer needed, Artemis gave Donna a single curt nod before she turned on her heel and went about doing her... well Peter wasn't sure what she did to get through the day. If it was to constantly patrol the building's various halls and rooms, than he really needed to find her a boyfriend or something, or help her get a hobby.
'Or a freakin cat to keep her company. She strikes me as one of those weird ladies with like a ton of cats at her place and likes to do those thousand pieces puzzle things' Peter thought as Donna slipped her arm through Peter's and rested against him, still staring at Dick with confused amusement.
"What brings you here?" she asked before she cleared her throat and gestured to Peter "Oh, uh this is-"
"Your boyfriend?" Dick said with a teasing grin before he gave a small nod "Yeah, we've met, great conversation really. Though apparently he has no idea we ever knew each other apparently"
"Really?" Donna said with confusion before she glanced at Peter and quirked her head in puzzlement "Could've sworn I mentioned you to him"
"Not to my knowledge" Peter shrugged.
He was pretty sure that Donna's never mentioned knowing a 'Dick Grayson', than again, it could've slipped his mind and he'll remember the conversation at the most random time imaginable.
"Oh, well... Dick's my best friend" Donna said before she bumped Peter's hip with her own "You've met his dad"
"I have?/He has?" Peter and Dick said at the same time before they stared at one another for a moment "Stop that/Don't do that"
"Oh I can just tell your gonna be the best of friends already" Donna teased with a amused eye roll.
"Whose his dad?" Peter asked as he tried to think of anyone that he knows by the name of 'Grayson'.
"It doesn't matter. And he's not really my dad, more of a guy that happened to raise me, if you want to call it that" Dick said as he shot Donna a look that she returned with a shrug.
"That's literally the home life of a friend of mine" Peter said with a snort "Does he happen to like throwing sharp exploding things at people and has a very questionable mental state?"
"Like you wouldn't believe" Dick said with a laugh of self loathing before he took a deep breath and focused his attention on Donna "Can we... can we talk?"
"About?" the young amazon asked with a raised brow.
"Stuff" Dick said as his gaze briefly flickered towards Peter "You know..."
"Oh you mean you being Robin?" Donna said, causing Dick's eyes to widen while Peter gasped.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... whoa... whoa" Peter said as he removed his arm from Donna's grip and pointed at the stunned man "Your Robin? As in Batman and Robin? That Robin?!"
Dick stared at Peter for a moment before he shot Donna an annoyed look, one that she returned with an amused smile before she held up a hand and used her middle and ring fingers to press down on her wrist and nodded her head in Peter's direction. Dick's brow furrowed in confusion for a moment before he saw Donna mouth the word 'spider' and it clicked.
"Wait, your Spider-man?" Dick said with an incredulous look on his face "That guy that swings around in a skin tight onesie?"
"Batman is your dad?" Peter said as he continued to stare at Dick with shock, ignoring the jab to his hero uniform, his suit is way cooler than what the Boy Wonder used to run around in "Oh my god... what's that even like? Wait, does that mean Catwoman is your mom?"
"No, she's not" Dick said with a tired shake of his head, seriously, why the fuck does everyone think he's Catwoman's kid?
"See, you two know one another's secret identities. Your practically brothers from another mother now" Donna clapped her hands "Now, Dick, if your still up for talking, you can come with me as I take my newest employee here to see his new job"
"Uhh, sure" Dick said with a slow nod as he followed after the Amazon beauty while Peter kept staring at him for a moment.
"Okay, so if Catwoman isn't your mom, is it that Talia lady?" the wall crawler asked "The ninja assassin one that's the kid of the super old ninja assassin guy with the cool cane and looks like the bad guy from Aladdin?"
"No she's not... why the fuck does everyone keep asking me that?" Dick asked as the three of them stepped out into the city that never sleeps.
"Cause no normal lady is ever gonna wanna be with your dad so that leaves everyone to guess which equally unstable and disturbed woman he's seen around a lot is" Peter stated.
Granted Peter isn't one to talk but at least he freaking smiles every once in a while instead of acting all gloomy and depressed. Well he smiles under his mask which no one can see through, hopefully, but it still counts far as he's concerned. Though he does have a cool car, he'll give him that, and a nice jet... and motorcycle and he's also pretty sure the guy has some kind of boat or submarine lying around in that cave of his.
'I wish I could be so rich I'm depressed and angsty. It's gotta be better than being poor on top of depressed and angsty' Peter thought with slumped shoulders 'I can literally buy myself happiness'
Well he was sorta rich now, in that he lived in a penthouse suite with his two girlfriends, but if he's being honest, that's all Donna and Diana's money that he's leaching off like a lovable parasite they don't want to throw away quite yet.
It didn't take long for the three of them to reach Donna's office, she and Dick spent most of the time talking about... something, Peter sorta began to tune them out after about a block and instead focused on what really mattered.
Finding the willpower to be able to work in the same space as two of his ex-girlfriends along with one of his current ones.
...
Several blocks away from Peter, Donna and Dick, stood Alias Investigations, a small hole in the wall Private eye firm that up until recently had only three members. The first was of course Donna, the sorta unspoken leader that handled all of the legal and technical stuff that helped run a Private eye firm such ass themselves. The next was Felicia, the sensual, lovable former criminal trying to turn her life around and break in or rob the bad guys legally. The final was Jessica Jones, the resident grouch and alcoholic with ironically the greatest amount of experience in this kind of work.
Together the three woman made a... functional team.
Or as functional as back handed insults, threats of quitting, empty coffee cup wars and lowkey jealousy and aggression could be.
"So, I hear Peter's gonna be joining us because he can't get a job elsewhere" Jessica said as she was busy toasting a few waffles to eat, having skipped breakfast at home to get to the office early enough to snag the last two waffles in the office freezer.
"So I heard... should be fun" Felicia said as she stared at Jessica with a scowl from her desk, she really was really looking forward to those waffles when she came in and saw Jessica had her grubby hands on them already.
Jessica scoffed at Felicia's remark "Oh yeah, great times ahead. Working with my ex-boyfriend who's fucked my boss and my co-worker, can't wait"
Felicia hummed at this before she looked around the small office to see if she could spot where Peter was going to be. They didn't really have enough room for four desks unless they got rid of a few filing cabinets.
And Felicia refused to give up her desk!
The toaster let out a ping as it finished cooking Jessica's waffles and the super powered woman reached out and grabbed them and placed them on a plate before heading for her desk. Once she was seated, she placed the two waffles on one another like a sandwich and proceeded to take a bite from it. Felicia saw this and felt her brow twitch as the dark haired beauty ate.
Jessica noticed Felicia's look and responded by slowly raising her middle finger at her.
"Fuck you!" Felicia growled, causing Jessica to scoff.
"Please, like I'd lower my standards to sleep with my ex's ex" Jessica said.
"Bitch you'd be lucky if I ever thought of kissing you!" Felicia snapped.
"Cunt"
"Whore"
"Bitch"
"Drunk"
"Least I don't have to dress in a fucking tube top and jeans to feel special" Jessica said as she dropped her waffle sandwich on her plate and sat upright in her hair and made a show of fixing her hair while speaking in a nasally voice "Oh, look at me everyone! My name's Felicia and I only ever feel validated when you can see my tits and ass! What's wrong kitty cat, can't afford any underwear or an actual shirt that's not from the kid's section?"
"Beats dressing up like a wannabe biker chick that get's even less action than a vibrator still in it's package" Felicia bit out with a glare "Than again, I guess your sex appeal went out the window when you washed out as a legit hero and had to settle for being a wannabe Private Dick"
"At least I don't have a record you prison bait bitch!" Jessica snarled.
"Least I'm not barred from a bar because I couldn't afford to pay the tabs I opened!" Felicia shot to her feet.
"Least I'm not still pinning for my ex like a love sick puppy" Jessica returned as she rose to her feet, her hands tightening into fists so tight it was a wonder her nails didn't pierce her skin and draw blood.
The two would've continued and likely escalated into another bout of physical violence had the door not suddenly open and Donna stepped into the office with Peter right behind her... along with a man neither woman has met before. Felicia and Jessica's curiosity was peeked as Donna made her way towards the center of the office and turned back towards Peter and the unknown man.
"Peter Parker, Dick Grayson, welcome... to Alias Investigations" Donna stretched out her arms in the center of the office, a wide and proud grin on her face that caused Peter's heart to flutter a bit.
Dick let out a low whistle as he took in he place while Felicia and Jessica stared at their Amazon co-worker with deadpanned expressions, the heat from their previous argument having cooled... for now.
"Were you getting 'Welcome to Jurassic Park' vibes from that too?" Jessica glanced at Felicia with a raised brow.
"I can practically hear the music playing when she spread her arms" Felicia said with a sigh as she got up and approached Dick "So your the famous Dick Grayson?"
"I take it Donna's mentioned me?" Dick said with a slightly embarrassed smile "All good I hope?"
Felicia's face didn't even twitch as she seemed to stare into Dick's very being with her nearly emerald green eyes "No. I recognize the name and face. Plus I met your daddy a few weeks back when I had to go to Gotham on business, real piece of work that one"
"He's not my dad" Dick said with a displeased frown.
"Oh yeah, that looks clenches it" Felicia said before her gaze flickered towards Peter and warmed considerably "Hey Pete!"
"Hi Fee, been a while" Peter responded with a small wave before turning to look at a scowling Jessica "And hello Miss Jones, how are you today-"
"Just because your fucking the boss doesn't mean I'm gonna treat you any different. Your still my ex and your gonna stay that way" the super powered investigator said as she took a bit of her... waffle sandwich.
"Nice to see you haven't changed Jessica" Peter responded dryly as he looked around for a place to put his things "So uh, where can I wo-"
"You can use my seat" Felicia pointed to her desk... her small one seated desk whose surface was covered in papers, small little cat statues and a hand drawn picture of Spider-man in his black suit... with Black Cat "Hope you don't mind sharing, but who am I kidding? With me, you always love to!"
"We're talking about the desk, right?" Peter asked nervously as he saw Donna's eyes narrow and glare a hole into the back of Felicia's head.
"Sure, sure..." Felicia's grin continued to grow to the point that everyone wondered if she was slipped a bit of Joker Venom, or was trying to replace Cheshire.
"The fuck that's happening" Donna said as she walked over to Peter and grabbed him by the arm and pulled him towards her desk "He'll be using my desk. And he will not be sharing any seats, Dick, go grab a spare from the closet down the hall"
"Why me?" Dick asked.
"Because if I have to do it instead of finishing my breakfast, my foot is going so far up your ass your dick will be jealous" Jessica said as she took a rather aggressive bit of her waffle sandwich.
"I can already see how friendly this work environment is" Dick said as he headed for the closet to retrieve himself and Peter a seat to use.
"Jess, don't be a dick to Dick" Felicia giggled before she glanced over to where Peter was sitting and pouted when she saw Donna sit in his lap "Oh rub it in our faces why don't ya!"
"Jealous?" Donna teased as she made a show of grinding her rear on Peter's lap, causing the man to blush as she let out a very over the top moan.
"I'd like to file for sexual harassment please" Jessica held up her hand as she shoved the last of her breakfast into her mouth and began to collect her things and make a series of muffled sounds.
"What?" Peter said as he grabbed Donna's waist and forcibly lifted her off his lap.
"She said she's gonna head out and find her perp" Donna said with a giggle as she sat on the edge of her desk and gave Peter a pat on the head "Don't worry, you'll start to pick up on her mouth filled to the brim with food talk soon enough"
"Surprised you already don't know how to understand her when she has a lot of... stuff, in her mouth" Felicia said with a wink.
Peter stared at Felicia with a blank look before looking up towards Donna "Now I wanna file a harassment case"
"I'll get you in contact with HR" Donna said with an eye roll before she looked at the departing Jessica and grinned "Hey Jess, I gotta guy that wants to file-"
Jessica cut Donna off with a muffled 'bite me' along with a raised middle finger as she stepped out of the office and into the hall outside, kicking the door closed behind her with enough force to crack the glass... again.
"Annnnd there goes lunch" Donna sighed as she looked around for the number for the repair company so they can come and fix another broken door, courtesy of one Jessica Jones.
"I'm telling you, we need to start using curtains" Felicia said just as Dick returned with two foldable chairs and went to set on down next to Peter.
"Thanks" Peter said as he unfolded the chair and sat down in it while Donna took her seat and began to boot up her computer while gesturing to the space across from her.
"Pop a squat Robin, we're gonna be here a while" Donna said as she pulled a few folders out from her desk and held hem out for Peter to take "Here you go babe, your first case"
"Oooh" Peter sounded as he took the folder and opened up, expecting to see that someone had contacted them to help them find a missing person, or maybe even help solve a decades old cold case-
A woman believes her husband is cheating on her and needs photographic proof to move forward with her divorce.
Peter's excitement died instantly "Oh... looks fun"
Great career change, he went from taking pictures of people doing things they shouldn't do to taking pictures of people doing things they shouldn't do.
...
And done.
Next chapter, Investigations, sexual innuendos and jealous Amazons...