Chapter 5

Tifa was lying awake in bed, staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. Six months had passed since she had awoken in Midgar, inside the clinic of Dr. Hiragi. With his help she had managed to literally get back onto her feet, enduring pain both physical and emotional.

Since then she had become less of a patient and more of a guest to him, allowing her to stay with him for as long as she needed to. She suspected that it was partly because of his promise to her master, and partly because the older man felt a bit lonely.

Master…

Master Zangan hadn't returned, and while Dr. Hiragi always told her that it wouldn't be long until he would, they both knew that it was a lie. Maybe he had abandoned her. Or maybe Shinra had gotten their hands on him and he was long dead. Or worse.

She didn't want to think about that possibility. She would rather be abandoned by him, as much as it pained her as well.

Glancing out of the window, she could see part of the plate that was blocking out the sky for everyone in the slums. No sun, no moon, no stars; just a giant gray plate. How must the children growing up in this place feel, having never seen them before?

Would they ever have the chance to see the night's sky as she had once done?

Her eyes fluttered over to the digital clock embedded into the wall. 4:37. Guess that's it for sleep.

Nightmares were a frequent visitor. They didn't happen daily anymore, but she still had them frequently enough that she could almost write them down on a calendar. Sleep never came to her afterwards.

She got out of bed and stood in the middle of the modestly sized room. Taking a deep breath, she moved her feet further apart and held out her arms in front of her, palms open. She remained like that for a moment, before exhaling again and balling her hands into fists as she repeated the familiar motions of the first kata that master Zangan had taught her. Movements like calm water, but as powerful as a crashing wave.

While he wasn't with her, his teachings were, and she would never forget them. They were the calming heart of the storm that had become her life.

With one final turn she spun around, placing her right fist into the open palm of her left hand. Nodding in satisfaction, she relaxed her stance and did one final stretch. She wasn't back to how she used to be, but she was slowly getting there.

She went over to the wooden cabinet and took out a fresh towel, and was about to head to the bathroom when she noticed the electric light from outside reflecting off something on her nightstand.

Her locket.

As if in a trance, she walked over to it, brushing her fingertips carefully against it, almost as if it could burn her. Slowly, she grasped it in her hand, a finger moving towards the clasp, but stopped just shy from opening it. Gritting her teeth she climbed onto her bed, opened her window and pulled her arm back throw it out onto the street, so that some desperate soul might pick it up to sell for a few Gil.

But something deep inside Tifa stopped her, telling her to hold onto it; so that she would never forget what happened. Never forget what Shinra had taken from her.

Anger bristling inside her, she placed the locket back onto her nightstand, then left the room to head towards the bathroom.

Inside, she stripped off her clothes and stepped into the shower. She closed her eyes as the hot water hit her skin. As bad as Midgar was, at least hot water was always available. She leaned against the wall, forehead touching the blue colored tiles and a sigh escaped her. After her little episode the momentary peace she had felt during the kata was gone, replaced once more by the storm that had kept her awake nearly all night.

Today was the 3rd of May.

One year older now. Happy Birthday, Tifa, she heard the voice of her father echo inside of her mind. For just a moment she could feel him wrap his arms around her like he used to always do on her birthday. After her mother died they stopped having elaborate parties, instead it was a quiet, ordinary day like any other. But her father had always found the time to congratulate her and give her a present...

...like the locket resting on her nightstand. It had been a present to her when she had turned fifteen, something he had picked up for her from a nearby village. Now, it was just another symbol of what she had lost.

She was sixteen now; but honestly, she felt like thrice that age, and wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed and skip the entire day. But she knew that wasn't an option.

She was a guest here, but it just wasn't like her to sit idly by while Dr. Hiragi did everything alone. So as soon as she was able to she had started doing house chores as a way to pay back his kindness.

With another sigh she turned off the water, stepped out of the shower and dried herself, before heading back to her room. Inside she put on a fresh T-shirt, a pair of short pants and her boots, the only thing from her old clothes that had been salvageable. Leaving her room again, she walked down the hallway as quietly as possible, careful as to not wake up the doctor. It would still be some time before he woke up, since even on days where she wasn't plagued by nightmares he slept longer than her.

As she left the clinic she was met with the heavy air of the slums, a strange mixture of trash and Mako. It reminded her of Nibelheim during the last of its days, where the air had been so heavy with Mako that some of the older people couldn't leave their house or open the windows because they could barely breathe. Dr. Hiragi had invested quite a bit of Gil into a modern ventilation system so that the smell wasn't bad inside the clinic, but once you went outside it stuck to your throat like a roadkill in summer.

She walked down the street. It was early in the morning, but there were always people on the streets in the slums. Most wanted to keep to themselves, but she knew that Midgar was a rough place. Dr. Hiragi had given her a rundown about places that even in a relatively safe place like Sector 3 there were places a young girl like her shouldn't go to. Stories of girls having gone missing, only to be taken to the Wall Market in Sector 6, weren't uncommon.

But she was confident that some run of the mill thugs wouldn't pose a problem to her even in her untrained state. She used to beat some of the monsters on Mt. Nibel. But she wouldn't make the the mistake to underestimate them either.

Her feet carried her down the street towards a small playground that she had seen the other day when the doctor had shown her around while buying groceries. It was empty of course. The local kids were still asleep. She walked over to a set of swings, running her fingers over its chains before sitting down and letting herself swing back and forth lazily.

Tifa tried to conjure up some happy memories of the times she had used the swing in Bryan's garden, but all she managed to see was his poor father, lying on the ground as he bled out from a wound on his neck. Not even the memories of the times that she had watched Cloud as he was sitting on his own swing, deep in thought like he always was when he wasn't getting into fights, were able to cheer her up. They only made of her think of poor Claudia, crushed to death in her own home. She had liked the woman. After Cloud had left, she had started to interact with her more, occasionally talking to her, trading recipes and subtly asking if she had heard from Cloud. Did the woman perhaps suspect what her feelings for Cloud were?

If she did she never mentioned it. And now that she was gone, Tifa wished she had told her. Would she have approved of Cloud and her?

Cloud… Tifa looked up towards the plate. Was he up there, right now? Did he make it into SOLDIER, and if so, did he hear about what happened and was looking for her right now?

She hoped so, because she couldn't deal with the idea that he was still willingly working for Shinra if he knew what they did; what the person he aspired to be did to their home.

She didn't realize that she was crying until a tear dropped down onto her knees.

She wanted to turn back time. Go back to when she was happy. Do things differently so that she could possibly prevent what happened. Tell Cloud just what he meant to her since that special night so long ago.

But as she buried her face in her hands, and sobs racked her body, she was only left with all her grief and regrets.

And the voices from her past, echoing inside her mind, saying: Happy Birthday, Tifa!

Tifa really doesn't have it easy, does she?
It'll have to become worse before it gets better.