AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry it's taken me so long to post the next chapter. I've been sick, and haven't been able to write much. I'm still sick, but my muse is co-operating now and hopefully I'll have more updates soon!
~ ~ spn ~ ~ spn ~ ~ spn ~ ~ spn ~ ~
I slowed the swing and just sat there as Dean and Uncle Sam walked over to me. They stood there in front of me, just looking down at me for a long moment. I felt nervous.
"What the hell, little girl?" Dean asked, his voice deep with anger. "I told you that you were not allowed to come here on your own, and we had a discussion about rules last night—do you think that the rules don't apply to you?"
"I, uh...no." I looked down at my feet, not sure of what to say.
Dean reached out and grabbed my hand. "Let's go." he gritted out.
I walked in between them, looking up at both of them as we walked, and I felt very small. My short legs struggled to keep up with their long strides.
Uncle Sam unlocked the door and Dean guided me into the room ahead of him. As I walked in, I felt a sharp sting on my butt.
"Ow!" I said, and turned my head just as he swatted my butt a second time. He let go of me and pointed.
"Go sit on your bed." he said sternly. "You're there until I say so."
I walked over to my bed, trying to rub the sting out of my bottom. I sat down on my bed and watched them.
Dean went outside with Uncle Sam and they stood just outside the door, talking. They kept glancing in at me. I looked down and picked at the rubber on the side of my tennis shoe.
Finally Dean came into the room, took his keys off of the dresser, and took them out to Uncle Sam. Uncle Sam got into the car and drove away.
Then Dean came in and sat down at the table.
"Charlotte, come here." he said.
I got off of the bed and walked over to stand in front of him.
"Explain yourself." he said, looking at me intently. He still looked angry.
"I, uh, didn't have anything to do this morning, so I went to play on the playground." I looked down at my feet.
"Do you remember what I told you about the playground yesterday?"
"Um...you said I had to go with you or Uncle Sam."
"Then why did you go by yourself?"
"Well, you guys were asleep and I wanted to let you sleep."
"You wanted to let us sleep?" He acted like he didn't believe me.
"Yeah, my mom would need lots of sleep so I would let her, because of her medicine. There was a playground next to our apartment that I went to a lot."
"By yourself?"
I nodded.
"And she was okay with this?"
"She- she didn't know."
He rubbed his forehead. "I don't think your mother would have been okay with you going to a playground by yourself."
I shrugged.
"Yesterday, I told you that you were not to go anywhere on your own, didn't I? That was a rule that I made."
"Oh." I said. "Yeah."
"Oh? That's all you have to say is oh?" he looked at me. "You listen to me, you can't just go anywhere you want or do whatever you want anymore! For one thing, going to the playground on your own is dangerous. That's why I told you that you were not allowed to go unless Sam or I was with you. And you don't get to decide that you're going to go do something and then do it. You need to ask permission before you do something, and if it's something I've specifically told you not to do, then you don't do it anyway just because you want to."
"But – but I didn't know-"
"Didn't know what?" he asked, frowning.
"Didn't know that you were serious." I said.
I didn't know how to explain to him that Mom would sometimes make rules but then she rarely followed through with them or forgot about them. And of course, I wasn't going to remind her.
"Well, now you're going to learn just how serious I am. The rules are important, Charlie, and I expect you to follow them. And when you don't, you're going to get in trouble." he said. "When Sam and I were kids, if we did something dangerous, or broke a rule, our Dad would spank us. And that's what I'm going to do."
"You already did!" I put my hands behind my back and stepped back.
"I gave you a couple of swats." he said, reaching for me. He took my arm and pulled me towards him.
"My mom never spanked me!" I protested, getting scared. Tears came to my eyes.
"Well, like I said yesterday, things are different now."
"But you can't- I mean-"
He leaned forward and picked me up, and suddenly I was looking at the rug, face down over his lap. Before I could say or do anything, his hand fell on my bottom for the first time, and I caught my breath, because it hurt!
"Ow, Dean, stop!" I cried out.
His hand fell again and I tried to slide off of his lap. He pulled me closer to his body and then I felt his arm across my back, pinning me across his lap.
"Nooo!" I howled, as his hand came down again and again. I struggled, trying to get away from his hand, but he held me there firmly.
I was going to say I was sorry and that I would follow his rules but when I opened my mouth all that came out was a loud wail.
He stopped for a moment. "You're going to follow the rules from now on?"
"Y-yes Dean." I sobbed.
"And do what I tell you to do?"
"Yes D-dean."
Four hard swats fell, and I whimpered. Then he stopped and put his hand on my back. I laid there for a moment, feeling my bottom stinging, and then he pulled me up to sit in his lap. I got on my knees and threw my arms around his neck, "I'm sorry I was bad, Dean!" I sobbed into this shoulder.
He put his arms around me and hugged me. "You're not bad," he murmured to me. "This is a big change for you and you're getting used to it. We're all getting used to it. It's okay." He rubbed my back as I calmed down. I sat in his lap and slid my arms around his middle, enjoying feeling his arms around me. I missed snuggling with my mom, when she had been asleep so much I couldn't snuggle with her and a lot of the time when she was awake she didn't want to be touched.
The door opened and Uncle Sam came in with a drink carrier and a paper bag.
"Breakfast." he said to us, walking over to the table and setting everything down.
Dean looked at me. "Are you hungry?" he asked.
"A little." I said.
He put me on the floor and we walked over to the table together. He gave me a box of tissues and I blew my nose and wiped my face off.
Uncle Sam put a carton of orange juice in front of me.
"I got breakfast sandwiches." he said. "What kind do you like?"
"Sausage, egg, and cheese?" I adked hopefully. He handed me one, and I said, "Thanks."
"I think we need to make a new rule." Dean told Uncle Sam. "Charlie can't leave the hotel room unless a grownup is with her."
"Okay." Uncle Sam said, looking at me. "Thanks for letting me know."
I squirmed, feeling embarrassed. I realized that they had probably talked about this already and that Uncle Sam knew I had been spanked. I concentrated on eating, looking at the table.
"The memorial service is later this morning." Dean said.
"Oh, here." Uncle Sam took something out of his pocket and put it on the table. It was a set of keys. "Bobby said you can take his truck, he's still sleeping."
"Great." Dean said. "We need to get ready to go soon, it takes about an hour to get there."
After we ate, I dug through my suitcase and got out a dark blue dress, and put it on.
I walked over to Dean. "I need you to zip me." I said, turning around. I felt him fumbling with the zipper, and then he zipped it up.
"I hate this dress." I grumbled.
"Why?" he asked.
" 'Cause it's got all these ruffles and lace and stuff. And it's itchy."
"Then why are you wearing it?" he asked.
"The secretary at Mom's work gave it to me and Mom said I had to wear it any time we went to something with work people there."
"Oh. Well, you only have to wear it for a couple of hours." Dean said. "Believe me, wearing a suit isn't that comfortable either."
Uncle Sam came out of the bathroom, dressed in his suit, and Dean went in with his suit and closed the door.
I pulled on a pair of white tights and then slipped my feet into my Mary Janes.
I walked over to Uncle Sam. "Can you buckle my shoes?" I asked.
"Sure." he said. Watching him trying to fasten the buckles on my shoes was funny because it made me realize how big he is, his hands looked even bigger because the buckles on my shoes were small.
Dean came out of the bathroom, adjusting his tie, and said, "We ready to go?"
I followed him out of the room to Uncle Bobby's old car. It had a big stack of books and papers on the back seat. As Dean pulled out into traffic, I started looking at them. I love books, and a lot of these were old looking and kindof mysterious.
"What's a loup garou?" I asked.
"What?" Dean said.
"What is Mal-lee-us Mal-mal—ee-fic-uh-"
"Are you looking at the books in the back seat?" Dean asked, looking at me in the rear view mirror. "Put that down, right now!"
"Why?"
"Excuse me?"
"I can't ask why?" I was indignant.
"Hey, enough with the attitude." he said sternly. "You should put the books down because I told you to, not ask why. They are Bobby's research books, and they are not suitable for kids to be looking at."
"Okay, fine." I huffed, crossing my arms on my chest.
He caught my eyes in the rear view mirror. "Attitude." he said.
I sighed and turned to look out the window.
Dean turned on the radio and found a station that was playing classic rock.
"That's what I'm talking about!" he said.
"93.9 plays all the popular songs." I told him. "It's a good station."
"As far as I'm concerned, this is the only good music out there." he tapped the radio.
"Classic rock?" I wrinkled my nose. "That's all my mom liked too."
"Yeah, I remember." Dean said.
We finally pulled into a large parking lot next to a couple of buildings that had a cemetary next to them. I got out of the car and started to walk away and Dean said, "Hey! You wait for me!" He held out his hand. "Always hold hands in the parking lot, you hear me?"
"Okay." I said. We walked into the building and there was a sign directing us to a room with all of my mother's co-workers in it. There was music playing in the background and at the front of the room were rows of pews like a church. Dean and I stood over to the side, watching. Miss Phyllis came over to me and hugged me. "I see you're wearing the dress I got you." she said with a smile. "It looks so cute on you."
"Thanks." I said, trying to smile.
She put her hand on my head. "I'm so sorry to hear about your mom, sweetie."
She looked up at Dean. "I'm the secretary, Phyllis Brown." she held her hand out to Dean.
"Dean Winchester. I'm Charlie's father."
"Oh! Oh, I remember Liz had said she was trying to get in touch with you. I'm glad she did."
She drifted away after a moment and some other people walked over to us. The men shook my hand and the women hugged me, and they all said they were sorry. Then they would shake Dean's hand and chat with him for a moment.
A man wearing a white collar came over and spoke to Dean. "After the remarks, and the Bible reading, there will be a presentation of the cremains. Are you the husband?"
"Uh, no, Charlotte is Liz's daughter."
"All right. We're giving them to the next immediate relative." He smiled at me and then walked away.
The music stopped playing and everyone walked over to the pews and sat down.
My mom's boss walked up to the podium and talked about the people who had died, and what great workers they were, and how they had all been like a family. He said they were going to establish some kind of fund for all the kids. Then he walked away and the guy with the white collar read some Bible verses and we all had to bow our heads while he prayed out loud. Then organ music started playing, and he and another man started wheeling a cart down the aisle and handing something to each family.
When he got to me, he smiled and held out a plastic box.
I looked up at Dean, confused. "What is-" I started to ask, and the man pushed it at me.
"Take it." he said.
I looked down at it. It had a sticker on it that said "Johnson Family Funeral Home and Crematorium- Cremains of Elizabeth Angela Stansfield."
All of a sudden, I realized what it was, it was a box full of my mom's ashes!
"EW!" I said loudly, and tried to shove the box back at him. People turned to look at me, and I heard a kid giggling.
I looked up at Dean. "I – I don't want-"
He took the box from the man and leaned down, putting it on the seat next to us. I looked at the box- that was all that was left of my mom, in a little box. I tried not to, but I couldn't help it, I started to cry. Dean put his arm around me and I turned to him and put my arms around him. He sat down in the pew and pulled me onto his lap, and I turned to him and cried onto his shirt. I felt his hand stroking my hair as I sobbed.
After it was over, we were led outside to a patio where there were tables set out with food.
"Are you hungry?" Dean asked me.
"Yeah." I said. We got in line to get some food and Dean helped me put food on my plate. It was little sandwiches and stuff like that. We walked over to the side of the patio and stood there for a few minutes eating. The police detective that we had talked to before nodded to us from across the way.
A woman approached us and leaned down to me. "Charlotte!" she said brightly. "Do you remember me, I'm your Aunt Michelle?"
She was wearing an expensive-looking suit and had lots of shiny jewelry on, and her face had a lot of makeup on it. She looked like a mannequin at a store, and I knew, the way that I know things sometimes, that it was all fake, that she did all of that to hide who she really was.
"Uh...no." I said, stepping close to Dean. He put his arm around my shoulder.
She straightened and held out her hand to him. "Hello, I'm Liz's sister. Michelle Tyler. And you're Charlotte's...father?"
"Dean Winchester." Dean said, shaking her hand.
"Well, I have to tell you, I'm so sorry, sweetie." she said to me. "What are you going to do with yourself now?"
"She's coming to live with me." Dean said. "Liz and I arranged things before."
"Oh, did you?" Her voice was frosty, and she cocked her eyebrow at Dean.
"Wouldn't you rather come and live with me, sweetie? I've got three adorable yorkies, and an inground pool, and you'd have your own bedroom and playroom!" She tried to make her voice sound happy, but it sounded like she was trying too hard.
"Look, she told me about you." Dean said.
"Excuse me?" Her voice was total ice now.
"She told me about you, said you'd come here and do this. Charlotte is not going to go with you, she's my daughter, and my name is on her birth certificate. I think you'll find that the courts give a child to an immediate blood relative and not a long lost aunt."
"Well, I wasn't saying- I mean, I just thought that after all these years, to have a part of my sister-"
"Who you rarely wanted to deal with before?" Dean's voice was deep with anger. "She told me how you shut her out, how you walked away again and again when she asked for help. She said you'd come back after she was gone, sniffing around for money. She told me to tell you that the inheritance? It's gone. All gone, used up to pay for raising her kid and for paying for all the cancer treaments. There's nothing left, so you can go back to whatever number husband you're on now and just stay with him."
Michelle tightened her lips and her face flushed red with anger. She glared at him for a long moment.
"Well, I don't think I've ever been spoken to in this manner before- I- I- I guess I'll see you in court." She turned and stalked away from us.
I looked up at Dean. "What does she mean? Is she- is she going to try and take me away from you?"
"No, she can't do that." He told me, shaking his head.
"I don't want to go with her!" and I realized how scared I felt. I put my arms around his waist and buried my head in his side, and started crying again.
I felt his hand on the back of my head, and then he led me over to a bench. He sat down and put me onto his lap, and I cried onto his shirt again. Something clicked inside me and I realized that Dean was my Dad, and that I did want to stay with him. Since the night I had met him, I had felt scared sometimes, but I realized that I felt safe with him and Uncle Sam and like I was going to be okay.
I looked up at him, and he looked down at me, raising his eyebrows.
"You're my Dad." I said, my voice full of tears.
"Yeah, kid, I am." he said,and his voice sounded rough.
I put my head back down on his chest and closed my eyes, tears still sliding down my face. We sat and snuggled for a few minutes on the bench.
Someone walked over to us and said something to Dean.
"Charlie," he said to me. "I've got to talk to this man for a few minutes, want to go over and play on the playground?"
I sat up. "Okay." I sniffled.
He took a bandana out of his pocket and wiped my face off, then he smiled at me.
"Go on, I'll be right here. I'll come get you when we're done."
I got off of his lap and walked over to the playground where there were other kids playing. There was a boy, a little bigger than me, dressed in a jacket and tie, who kept following me around. When I tried to go up the ladder to the slide, he pushed ahead of me and pushed me down and went up first. He got in front of me at the monkey bars, and then I thought I got rid of him at the swings. I was swinging back and forth, closing my eyes, when all of a sudden, someone dragged on the chain of the swing.
I opened my eyes and it was the boy, glaring at me.
"My turn." he said.
"Go swing on one of the other swings." I said.
"I want this one, I always swing on the end one." he said. "Get off."
"No!" I said, trying to pull away from him.
"Yes!" He pulled on the chain again.
"You get off!" I exclaimed.
"Mikey, leave her alone." A little girl said uncertainly.
"Shut up, brat! Go away!" He turned to the little girl and shouted at her.
"My dad's dead, so you should let me have what I want." He said to me.
"So is my mom!" I retorted. "Leave off, Mikey!"
His face became enraged, and he lunged at me. The next moment, I was on my back, the air knocked out of me, with him on top of me, hitting me again and again.
Pain was exploding in my face and chest as his hands slapped down at me.I put my hands up to try and stop him.
"Ow, quit it! Get offa me! Stop!" I kept saying, as tears started pouring down the sides of my face.
Then all of a sudden we were surrounded by people.
Hands were helping me sit up. "Are you okay, little girl?" someone said.
"Where's my Dad? " I cried out. I looked around and saw Dean running over, followed by Uncle Sam.
"Dad!" I called out, lifting my arms up, and he went down on one knee and lifted me up to stand. "It's all right, I've got you." he said softly. He hugged me to him, then pulled back and looked at me. "What happened, kiddo?"
"That- that boy, he kept following me around, and cutting in front of me...he pushed me off of the ladder for the slide, and he got in front of me, and then he told me to get off the swing... and when I said no he just jumped on me and started hitting me!"
I started crying harder.
"Michael John Anderson!"I heard a woman's voice say. "What do you have to say for yourself!"
The boy muttered something, staring at the ground.
"What did you say, young man? You need to apologize to this little girl!" A woman in a dark blue suit grabbed the boy's arm.
"She was in my way!" he snapped. "She kept following me around!"
"That's a lie!" I said.
"It is a lie." said the little girl. "He was bein' mean to her the whole time."
"Shut up, Lacey, you little liar! I'm gonna kick your ass!" the boy yelled. A couple of the adults gasped.
"Michael!" The woman said. "That is enough!"
"Seems like Michael's the one who needs to have his ass kicked...or at the very least, swatted." Dean said dryly.
"I don't need parenting advice from you, thank you." the woman said stiffly.
"Let's go, Charlie." Dean said to me.
He stood up, and then picked me up. Uncle Sam fell into step beside us as we walked.
"You okay, Charlie?" Uncle Sam asked me. "We should check her over and make sure she's not injured."
"I'm okay, he mostly slapped me." I said. "My back hurts a little bit."
"What a little shit that kid was." Dean muttered.
We walked back into the building and Dean stopped to pick up the box of ashes.
"Do I really need to keep that?" I asked hesitantly. "It's kinda gross."
"Let's keep it for now, you might want it later." Dean said.
"I've got to go talk to the M.E. Again." Uncle Sam told us. "I'll see you in a while."
I got into the back of Uncle Bobby's car again, and I couldn't resist looking at one of the books. They looked like books that had been in the Harry Potter movies. I flipped the top one open and it had very old-fashioned looking writing in it. There was a drawing on the page opposite, in full color, of a man with a wolf's head holding another man. The wolf had an arm in its mouth and the chest of the man it held was open and bloody. The red was very red in the picture. There was a pool of blood underneath both men and they were in the woods. I swallowed uneasily and closed the book quickly, looking away. It made me think of the night my mom had died.
The whole rest of the day I kept thinking about the picture. That was why Dean had said not to look at those books. And I had disobeyed him, and now I was upset. I wanted to say something but I was nervous that he would be mad at me and I would get in trouble.
They ordered Chinese food for dinner and we ate it in the room with Uncle Bobby.
When Dean told me it was time for me to get ready for bed, I didn't argue. I was tired, but I was also anxious about trying to fall asleep. I gave both Uncle Sam and Uncle Bobby hugs, and then went over to the sofa bed where Dean was waiting.
I got into bed and he hugged me. "You had a big day today, kiddo." he said. "You should sleep well."
I laid down and he pulled the covers up and then leaned over and kissed my forehead.
"Good night, Charlie." he said quietly. He got up and walked into the other part of the room. I rolled over and tried to sleep, but I kept seeing the picture in my head, and then hearing the noises outside the tent that I heard the night my mom died.
I rolled onto my back, then a couple minutes later onto my side, then onto my stomach.
Finally I sat up. "Dean, could you come here?" I called hesitantly.
He walked over to me, holding a beer bottle. "Sure, what's up?" He looked at me and sat down, a concerned look on his face. "You look upset."
"I, uh, have something to tell you." I gathered the blanket in my hands and bunched it up.
"Yeeees?" he said slowly. I glanced up at him and he was looked at me sternly.
"You know how you told me not to look at those books in the back of the car?" I said in a whisper, fiddling with the edge of the blanket now.
"Yes." he said again.
"Well, uh, I, uh, did, I mean I looked again...when we got back in the car to go home...and I saw a picture..."
He took a sip of his beer. I glanced up at him again. He didn't look mad, just serious.
"It was a drawing of a man with a wolf head eating another man and it was all red with blood and I keep thinking about it and it makes me think of- of Mommy!" I wailed, bursting into tears.
"Oh, Charlie." he sighed, and put his arms around me. I threw my arms around him and sobbed into his flannel.
"I'm sorry, Dean, I didn't listen to you and I should have, and I promise I'll never do that again!" I sobbed. I turned my face up to him. "Am I in trouble?"
"No, I think you've punished yourself this time." He stroked my hair back from my face. "You understand now why I told you not to look at those books?"
"Y-yes Dean." I sniffled.
"And you're not going to do it again?"
I shook my head back and forth. "Uh-uh!"
"Then I think you've learned your lesson." he said.
"Will you stay with me till I fall asleep?" I asked him.
"Sure." he said. "Lay down and I'll rub your back."
I laid down and turned onto my tummy and he started to rub my back slowly. It took a while, but I started to calm down and doze.
Dean's phone rang and he answered it. "Hey, I've been trying to get in touch with you." he said, standing up and walking to the door. "Yeah, I've got something to tell you." he was saying as he went outside.
I was almost asleep when I heard the door open again.
"By the look on your face, I'm going to guess it didn't go well." Uncle Sam said quietly. I woke up all the way and started listening hard. Who had Dean been talking to?
"Yeah...she asleep?" Dean asked.
"I haven't heard a peep out of her since you left the room." Uncle Sam told him.
Dean sighed heavily. "Well, first I got the standard 'Keep It In Your Pants' lecture, then he expressed his...displeasure...at the fact that I now have a kid, and she's with me. He wanted to know how I was going to handle the hunting life with her tagging along. He reminded me that I'm a damn fine hunter and that I've been in this life for a long time." I heard the fridge door open and close, then the sound of a beer bottle being opened.
"What are you supposed to do, just walk away from her?" Uncle Sam asked.
"Right," Dean agreed. "That's what I said, she's my blood and I can't just walk away. Family's important to him too, I don't know why he's so opposed."
" 'Cause he knows how hard the life was on you boys, when you were kids." Uncle Bobby said.
"Anyway, he asked if there were any other relatives that she could go to. There's no way in hell I'm letting Liz's sister take her...I told him no. He wanted to know if I'd thought about long-term plans and what was I gonna do with her, and I tried to explain everything. I mean, maybe if I'd had a chance to get to know her over a couple of months I could have worked something out, somehow, but the way Liz's death happened, Charlie kinda fell into my lap. I told him that I hadn't thought about long term yet because we're still dealing with the death and everything. And since I got made the executor of the estate, I've got to stay here until all the legal stuff gets finished. He wasn't too happy about that either, but what are you gonna do?"
"He'll get over it." Uncle Sam said.
"Yeah, I guess. He's on his way to help, I figured the more people we get to track this thing, the better."
"Give him time." Uncle Bobby said. "He needs time to get used to the idea. Hell, if someone came to me and told me I was a grandfather out of the blue, I'd be feelin' a little off-kilter myself."
So Dean had been talking to his father, my grandfather. And his father didn't think I should be here with him. I hoped he wasn't mean to me when we finally met, because I wasn't sure how I would deal with that. Thinking about meeting him now made me even more nervous that I already was.
