Alright, Rei. You've sat through school all day just to get to this moment. I stood at the music room doors, hyping myself up. I had this in the bag. My first day being a host. Now, go in there, Rei. And Remember what Kasanoda said. Be the shittiest damn host Ouran has ever seen! Alright kid. Get in there and disappoint yourself! I will, voice in my head…I will.

When I walked in, Haruhi was frantically setting shit up for the afternoon. I wonder how much cash this lucrative racket brings in every week. I'm sure they take a membership fee. There's no way they do this out of the goodness of their hearts or for the sake of stroking their egos. If my assumptions about Kyoya are correct, he wouldn't do anything he couldn't make a profit on. I had to respect the hustle.

"There you are, Rei!" Tamaki draped an arm around me, "I was worried you weren't going to show up."

"What if I didn't?" I wiggled my way out of his embrace.

"We would've had our ways of finding you," Kyoya chimed in, "I'm glad we didn't need to resort to such matters."

"Damn, Kyoya," I chuckled to myself. I know he's trying to be a little menacing, but he's playing it off beautifully, "You'd be fucking scary in the wrong hands."

"I'll take that as a compliment," he gave himself a pat on the back, "Thank you, Rei. However, there is one thing we need to discuss before we open the doors."

"What's up?" I picked a couch and plopped my ass down. Oh, yes. This is where I'm killing my afternoon.

"You'll need to watch your language around the guests," Kyoya ordered.

"Yes," Tamaki agreed, "Each young lady that walks through our doors is a delicate flower that needs to be handled with the same delicacy. A gentleman would never dare use such profanities as much as what you do."

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?" I shot him a glare, "Are you trying to tell me there's something wrong with how I speak?"

"Well…" Tamaki hid behind Kyoya, "You do kind of curse like a sailor, Rei. You had to have known."

"I'm fucking with you," I giggled, "I like giving you shit, Tamaki. It's fun to see the fear in your eyes. But I got it. I'll be a good girl when they're here."

"Thank you," he relaxed, making me look a bit more respectable. My tie was a pain in my ass that I didn't feel like fucking with after kendo, "There. I think you're ready. Are you nervous?"

"Not really." Because I had no intention of giving it much effort.

"I know you'll do great," Tamaki's face lit up, "Make me proud, Rei."

If all goes well, I'll make you want to kick me out, Tamaki. I just hope to god that Kasanoda's advice works. It should. They can't form much of an opinion of me if I don't say shit to them. But then, it dawned on me, "Hey, Tamaki."

"Yes, Rei?" he took his seat.

"What exactly do you want me to do?" I wondered, still not a hundred percent sure what a host club is.

"When those doors open," Tamaki explained, "I'm going to send a few of my regulars your way. Just keep them happy. Talk to them, let them vent, give them a crying shoulder. Then, give them a positive affirmation and send them on their way. Simple as that."

"Really?" I scoffed, "That's it?"

"It is the basic hosting formula," Hikaru flanked my left.

"Don't fix it if it's not broken, right?" Kaoru flanked my right.

"Who said you two could creep up on me?" I squirmed.

"Aww!" they practically strangled me, "She's so cute!"

"You two know that I could kill you with my bare hands, right?"

"And so scary!" they didn't budge, "Boss, can we keep her?"

"That's a Kyoya question," Tamaki passed off that responsibility.

"Kyoya-senpai…"

"Can we keep Rei?"

"That's not a question for me either," Kyoya settled them, "At the end of the day, Rei's still a person. I don't think you can keep people like pets."

"Vanilla," the twins rolled their eyes.

"Kinky," I gasped, immediately making them both go red, "I'm not calling either one of you Master."

"Are we ready then?" Kyoya asked, "Can we open the door, Tamaki?"

"I don't see why not," Tamaki allowed, "Hikaru, Kaoru, doors."

"Got it, boss!" The twins threw the doors back and we were off to the races. Alright. This is going to be easy. I bet I could nod off and no one would know.

"Ladies," Tamaki brought a few girls over to me as promised. Shit, "This is Rei, our new host. He's a little rough around the edges, but he really does have a heart of gold."

"Hey," I gave them a little wave, hoping that would be enough.

"What do you think, my dears?" Tamaki played wingman well, "Pretty cute, huh?"

"He's not bad," one of the girls looked me over.

"He's more than not bad," he talked me up some more, "Rei's served his time and isn't afraid to do it again and all it cost was a nickel."

"Oh, Tamaki…" I cringed heavily, "That's not…That's not how…It's like watching anyone on Mama's side of the family trying to relate to us…This is painful."

"Was that not right?" he whined, "Aww…I ran it through my head and everything. I thought I had it."

"Brownie points for trying," I grabbed my sunglasses out of my bag and put them on, "Noble attempt."

"I'm going to leave you with Rei, my lovely princesses," Tamaki got on his knee, taking a hand of each. If I didn't know any better, I'd think he was proposing, "I trust that you'll be in very capable hands."

"They'll be in hands." Capable? That's debatable.

And so began my afternoon. Giggly, excitable girls that came in one by one waiting for my approval. Every single one of them liked to ramble and ask me questions about shit that didn't matter. How long have I lived in Tokyo? What was it like growing up in New York? What kind of hobbies did I have? What did I want to do after high school? What kind of family did I come from? I answered with as few words as I could. They might as well be talking to a wall. But then, out of fucking nowhere, I had a line in front of my section. And I'm not talking a little one.

Why? I hardly said a word to these bitches and they were eating it up like hot cakes. Do they want to be treated like shit? Is their self esteem that fucked up? Ignore them, Kasanoda said. It'll be fine, Kasanoda said. They won't soak it up like a sponge. It'll get you kicked out of the host club, Rei. And you'll never have to hear from them again. I call bullshit.

When my own private hell came to an end, I noticed Kyoya out of the corner of my eye in front of an adding machine with a big ass smile on his face. Yep. They collect membership fees. By the looks of the tape, it's on a per host basis. Why do I have the feeling I'm not escaping the host club without a fight? Because I think I might be their new cash cow. To put it in the simplest of terms, I'm fucked.

"Rei," Kyoya curled a finger to me, "Could I speak to you for a moment, please?"

"Sure," I wasn't backing down to him, "What's up?"

"You did rather well today for your first time," he praised, "Do you know how much you brought to this club without even realizing it?"

"Well," I figured, "Going by that shit eating grin on your face, I'm going to say it was quite a bit."

"I don't think I've ever seen more beautiful numbers," Kyoya approved, "Tamaki, would you care to take a look?"

"Kyoya, please," Tamaki brushed him off, glancing over his shoulder, "You know I didn't start this club for the HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD! IS THAT JUST FROM TODAY?"

"Yep."

"WHERE DID THAT ALL COME FROM?"

"I'll give you one guess," Kyoya pointed at me.

"Rei!" Tamaki threw his arms around me, "You did fantastically! What would you say about becoming a full-time host?"

Fuck…

"Hold on, Tamaki," Kyoya settled him, "I know those numbers are impressive, but think of it this way. What if we only had Rei hosting, say, once or twice a week? Keep them wanting more, but keeping her away from them. We'll save her for the beginning of the week and the end of the week. That way, it'll bring in bigger crowds for the days in the middle of the week, hoping to catch a glimpse of her."

"Like dangling a carrot in front of a horse," I thought, not quite sure about how I feel about being the carrot. I don't know if it ever ends well for the carrot.

"Precisely," Kyoya nodded, "Thank you, Rei. I'm glad you understand."

"Only a couple days a week, huh?" The gears in Tamaki's head started turning, "Like a special?"

"That's right."

"I love it!" Tamaki squeezed me even tighter, "So, do we announce that we're…"

"No," Kyoya cut him off, "No, no, no. Because then, that takes away the mystery of when she'll be here and it'll take away from her allure a little."

"What can I say?" I choked out, "I am an enigma."

"And you seemed to come off that way," Kyoya reported, "I was watching you while you were hosting and it looked like you weren't interested."

Because I wasn't, "And?"

"And that seemed to make them want you even more," he went on, "Can you do that tomorrow, too?"

"I guess," I shrugged.

"You're still doing it, aren't you?"

"That easy to figure out?"

"Yes," Tamaki beamed, "You'll work quite nicely here. Happy to have you aboard, Rei! Go home and get some rest for tomorrow, ok?"

"Got it."

What the fuck did I just get myself into? Even after a day of hosting, I still didn't want to join the host club. Yet, here I was. How the hell do they do that? Infectious energy, maybe? Probably. And how in the fuck did I do so well today? I could give two shits less about the girls that wanted to rattle off how their day went to me or how they want to know me better. I think I might be one of the rare ones that know better and that all the problems we were having now weren't going to last past graduation. Or that these are not going to be the best four years of our lives. I had better things to worry about than not being asked to prom.

But HOW? How did I get such high numbers in my first day? They didn't even have high hopes for me showing up to the host club today, let alone kicking ass at it? I guess I'll never understand it. It's not that I cared really, but more so what the fuck kind of anomaly opened up in the universe that gave me the gift of hosting. It's like they were getting paid, but no money exchanged hands. Well…Aside from Kyoya making bank, but that's here nor there. That would've happened regardless if I was there or not. I needed a soda. Soda sounded good.

"Hi, Rei," Roy got my car door for me, "Are you ok? You look like you want to hit something."

"I'm ok," I brushed him off, "Ok-ish. More confused than anything, but I'll live. What about you, Roy? How did things go for you?"

"I talked to Yumi about Friday," he smiled, "She seems excited."

"You do realize that's tomorrow, right?" I kicked my feet up, shutting my eyes for a minute.

"Tomorrow?!" Oh, shit. I think I might have fucked up a little.

"Yes," I nodded, "You're ok, Roy. Just remember what I told you. Light conversation and no small talk. Small talk is where shit goes south every time. Small talk breeds stupidity."

"Then, what do I do?" he freaked.

"Just don't mention marriage," I settled him, "Keep marriage off the table and you'll be golden."

"Thanks, Rei," Roy started coming down, "Hey, do you believe in destiny?"

"Not particularly. Why?"

"Because," he explained, "I think we were meant to meet for this particular reason."

"Easy, tiger," I stopped him, "Coming off a little creepy."

"Sorry," Roy bit his tongue, "Where to?"

"Convenience store," I ordered, "I want a soda. Then, we can go home."

"Yes, ma'am!"

The world existed slightly different in a Japanese 7-Eleven. Definitely not like the ones in the US, but as long as I could get my soda (personally, I'm a slut for a cold Dr. Pepper after a long day, but that's just me.), I was a happy girl. And getting a couple steamed buns for the ride home wasn't a half bad idea either. When I got home, though, my body fell apart. I balled up on my couch with my soda and my steamed buns and sent Roy on his merry way. I couldn't get over the fact that the host club girls were that desperate. HOW? HOW DID ME TREATING THEM LIKE SHIT GET THEM TO FLOCK LIKE MOTHS TO A FLAME? Maybe that was one of those things I wasn't meant to understand. But it confused the shit out of me.

The next morning, I woke up and went to school like any other day. The end of my first week at Ouran. And I must admit, it wasn't bad. Not nearly as bad as I thought it'd be when I first came here. But that was before I found out the host club was a thing. Did they actually make it a little better? Not that I knew of. I didn't want to get sucked into the club, but it happened anyway. It'll be a good way to kill some time. What else did I have to do here?

"Have a good day at school, Rei," Roy waved me off, "And you're sure you won't need me for the rest of the day?"

I stuck my head back in his window, "I'm a big girl, Roy. I think I got this handled. If all else fails and someone wants to fuck with me in the alley, I'll end them. If I get lost, I'll call an Uber."

"Ok…" I could see it all over his face. Roy didn't feel comfortable leaving a cute little thing like me loose on the streets. Like I said. I have this handled. After school, I'd end up at the host club. After the host club closed, Kasanoda and I would go back to the penthouse. God only knows where that's going to lead, but that's half the fun is the anticipation, right?

"Morning, Rei." Speaking of Kasanoda, I caught him hanging his helmet on his handlebars and shoving his keys into his blazer pocket.

"Morning," I had a big bone to pick with him anyway.

"Where were you last night?" he wondered, "I was at the ramen shop and you never came in. Did you find somewhere else to hang out?"

"No," I shook my head, "I was tired after dealing with the host club and my driver was on the verge of a breakdown, so…Figured I'd stick around home last night. As much as I've grown to love the ramen shop."

"My sympathies," Kasanoda chuckled to himself as we started walking in.

"I'm glad you can laugh at my misery, dick," I giggled with him.

"Who said I was laughing at you?" he defended, "Maybe the thought of your driver losing his shit hit me in the giggles."

"Hi, Rei…" a random girl flashed me a flirty smile.

"Hi…" I gave her a look and walked away.

"Looks like you have a fan," Kasanoda teased, "You know her?"

"I've never met her a day in my life," I didn't think much of it, "Probably a host club groupie."

"Hi, Rei…" Damn, another one? Kasanoda and I just kept walking. Nope. Not buying into it.

"What about that one?" he asked.

"Nope," I shook my head. But then, a swarm of them emerged from the shadows…I just wanted to get to homeroom. Was that too much to ask?

"They really have sucked you in, haven't they?" Kasanoda jabbed, "I'd ask you how it went yesterday, but it looks like someone didn't take my advice."

"No!" I squeaked, "That's the problem! I did take your advice and this is where it got me. They fucking loved it."

"Really?" he looked at me weird, "How?"

"How the fuck am I supposed to know?" I held my face in my hands, "Self-esteem issues? Inattentive fathers?"

"Daddy issues seems to be the popular consensus," Kasanoda shrugged.

"Now, I'm stuck on this big ass hype train," I vented, "And all I want to do is find a junction to get off at."

"Kyoya-senpai's a marketing genius," Hikaru snuck up on me.

"He could sell matches in Hell," Kaoru added, hitting me on the other side.

"So I've noticed," I grumbled.

"We need to have a word with you, Rei," the twins stole me away from Kasanoda to a secluded corner of our homeroom.

"What do you want?" I shook them off me.

"What did you do?" Hikaru asked.

"They flock to you in droves," Kaoru gasped, "How do you do it?"

"I don't fucking know!" I growled, "Should I be worried?"

"Welcome to your newfound popularity!" the twins applauded.

"I don't like it," I slid into a desk and buried my face in my bag, "Can I be done?"

"Aww…" Hikaru cuddled me, "Look at that, Kaoru."

"She thinks she has an escape," Kaoru gushed, "That's adorable."

"Guys," Haruhi stepped in, my saving grace, "Let Rei go. You sound like you're holding her hostage."

"Thank you, Haruhi," I wiggled out of the sandwich they had me trapped in, "See, this is why I like Haruhi over the rest of you. She's not in it for the lucrative racket or for the ego stroking."

"Actually, Rei," she admitted, "I'm in it because of an eight-million-yen vase."

"She broke it," the twins clarified.

"Thanks, boys," I let it go, "Glad I had that."

I needed to remember what I was doing this for. Kasanoda was a good person. It's a shame that people are so quick to pass judgment, but I understood that more than anyone here. When I was still living in the US, all the kids in school knew I was a mafia baby. Parents wouldn't let their kids play with me for that reason. They didn't want their kids to be a target. Which, I get that part, but holy shit, did that isolation suck. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Especially on someone like Kasanoda. But that was fine. It's not like I wasn't socialized. I had the rest of the family to play with. Maybe that's why Daddy sent me here. No one knows who I am. Except Kyoya. So, I'm safe.

After getting my aggressions out in kendo (and I might have taken Morinozuka out a time or two. One pat on the back for me.), I went to the host club with Honey and Morinozuka…There's got to be a less mouthful way I can talk about him. Everyone else seemed to just call him Mori. That'll work. I could handle another day in the host club. Besides, I'd be able to mostly hang out with Kasanoda. He said he'd be sitting in my section today and the two of us would head out for my penthouse right after. Then, it'd be the weekend and I wouldn't have to see any of them until Monday. Just another couple hours and I'll be free.

I assumed the same position I had yesterday and made myself comfortable in my section. Maybe if I actually take a nap today, they'll leave me alone. Or that could horrendously backfire, too, and they'll watch me sleep. Eww. That's not fucking creepy. Because just what I need is a bunch of girls breathing heavily over me while I'm trying to straighten out my sleep schedule. It's only a couple hours, Rei. You can handle it. And having Kasanoda here might make it less hellish. It'll be nice to have someone on my side.

"BOSS!" Hikaru and Kaoru stormed through the door, pale as ghosts and out of breath. Someone needed to get those boys some water.

"What is it, boys?" Kyoya thought nothing of it. I'm guessing this happens more often than not.

"Where's Haruhi?!"

"I'm over here!" Haruhi called from the back corner, "Why?"

"CODE WHITE LILY!"

"What?" Tamaki lost all his coloring.

"Oh, no…" Even Kyoya got nervous. He was my flight attendant. When he gets nervous, shit's about to go down and the plane's about to crash.

"Should we hide Haru-chan?" Honey asked.

"That'd probably be for the best," Kyoya nodded, "The last thing we need to deal with is them."

"Uh," I chimed in, "Hey, guys? Anyone care to tell me what the hell is happening?"

Before anyone could make another sound, the situation solved itself. A group of girls in different uniforms from the Ouran uniforms stormed the host club doors. These bitches looked like they were out for blood. I mean, I can relate, but the host club seemed pretty harmless. And the head bitch looked like she's killed someone. Barehanded. Cold blood. She's stabbed a girl in the yard a time or two.

"Hello, Beni-bara," Kyoya took care of things while Tamaki cowered in the corner, "Is there a reason you've come to harass our clientele today?"

"We heard the host club was keeping another pet that didn't belong here," HBIC stepped up, "This is a liberation mission. Now, where is she?"

"We don't keep pets," Kyoya set her straight.

"That's the Zuka Club," Hikaru crouched down behind me, keeping his voice down.

"They go to Lobelia Academy," Kaoru filled me in, "Their leader Beni-bara thinks what we do is disgusting and wants to get Haruhi out of here."

"But she also thinks men are scum in general," Hikaru added, "So, a precious maiden like Haruhi shouldn't be sullied by a man's hands. Meaning, if Haruhi wasn't so smitten with Tamaki-senpai, Beni-bara would want to make Haruhi hers."

"Oh," I was an open-minded person and everything. Who was I to judge? But to blatantly think all men are scum? I can't say that's true. Lobelia…That sounded familiar. I think Lobelia was in the stack of pamphlets that sat on our kitchen table for a couple weeks when Daddy was picking out schools for me, "Isn't Lobelia an all-girl school?"

"That's right," Beni-bara's eyes locked onto me, "And there she is."

"Hey, guys," I cranked my neck back toward the twins, "Should I be scared?"

"Terrified."

Immediately, she pulled me onto my feet and closer to her. I need an adult, "It's a pleasure to finally meet you…Reila."

"What?" Kasanoda walked in. With the world's worst timing.

A/N: Did I mention how excited I was for this chapter? Even though I know it's late. I'm sorry that it's late by the way. Yesterday was a very long day for yours truly and I didn't have it in me. But all that aside…AAAAAAAAAAAH!

Yeah. I made the mistake of bringing in the Zuka Club. Because Rei being who she is, the thought of a girl gang is going to look like something shiny to a magpie. But the problem is, she's a kickass host. She doesn't like it, but she's a killer host. And even a slightly bigger mess…Kasanoda's shit timing. Rei can handle the Zuka Club. I have no doubt in my mind about that, but Kasanoda…Kasanoda might be a bigger task. I don't know. I honestly haven't thought about next week's chapters, but I do know that there is definitely a shitshow coming. And I can't wait to share it with you. See you next chapter! xx