Disclaimer(s): K-On! rightfully belongs to Kakifly © Alternate Universe.

Part 3: Going Under

No. I processed again and again the one word I rejected him with – it may sounded like a merciful lie, but it was the truth. I bit my lower lip as I briefly looked at his resting figure one more time before I finally pushed close the door behind me. "Hey," I greeted Mio as soon as I noticed her sitting down on the bench outside, sobbing every so often. "Oh, hey," she spoke softly.

"I'm sorry, Ritsu, I, I just… God, I'm such a cry-baby," Mio admitted in a low voice, probably ashamed that I found her losing it, while she wiped those seemingly bleak glazed eyes with her shirtsleeves. I felt so small spontaneously while I observed the way her lips soon curled up, simply taking shape of her sad smile – the one I always saw prior to his arrival.

"Cry all you want, I won't tell a soul. You've been hiding it for so long," I tried to comfort her as I took a seat beside her while I studied the blank wall at the same time. Later on, my heart literally stopped beating soon after I felt her head peacefully lying against my shoulder – it was rather hard to see the one you love going under. I never ever felt so helpless.

"I'm tired of everything," she admitted and I merely said nothing in response as I watched the way her long tresses fell down her face, somewhat hiding it from my peripheral vision, the evident difference in our heights did not make it any easier too. It was a bit awkward because she was relatively taller than me when I left five years ago. "I try so hard, why he can't see it?" she began.

"I stayed for two whole years, people convinced me to end it but here I am, so why? Why isn't it enough to make him see it – that I love him the same?" I bit my lower lip briefly, fighting back my own threatening tears as hers fell endlessly. I loved the thoughts of her but I would never imagined to be with her this way – I will never ever wish it on them. "He sees too much, I guess."

"He's perceptive, Mio, He always is and although what he said just now was harsh, I'm sure he meant well." Her cries subsided gradually as her eyes pierced mine, imploring me to keep at it and I did, "Have you ever spent your spare time alone or with some friends? Did you live one day without him on your mind, worrying about him ever since the accident?"

She looked down as I reminded her, sobbing every now and then, while I rubbed her back in circles. She tried very hard to hide every answer but I could always read her, like a book – she's not just a chapter to me. "You see, he needs you to be strong and independent. All I know is, he might, he's maybe scared shitless thinking you'll be lost without him if he can't–"

I did not finish my sentence, but she seemed to get the picture already as she nodded remotely, sobbing every so often. "He loves you, Mio, he only wants the best for you," I advised as we both cried, fearing to lose him so soon. After a while, she finally stood up – stronger than ever – and faintly approached his room. "I'm very glad you came, Ritsu, it's been five years."

"Yeah," I shrugged while I rubbed the back of my neck – a habit I can never outgrow every time I run out of words to say. She seemed as if she wanted to say something but then again, she settled for a simple nod instead and I returned her gesture straightway. Mio smiled as she entered his room curtly, leaving me alone in the silent hallway. "I miss you too, Mio," I admitted sadly.

I let out a low sigh as I headed out for my car, heading to nowhere – I, I just don't feel like stopping and if I do, I'm afraid I'll think of my first love all over again. I hardly breathed as soon as I pulled up before my building – reality caught up fast. "Damn it, why does it have to be you? Why?" I cried loudly while I beat the steering wheel at the same time – God, please let him live.

To Be Continued

Author's Notes: Thanks for reading.