Daddy caught me and picked me up, "Charlie, where is all this worry coming from?" He turned around and walked back over to where everyone was standing. "I'm not going to give you up, or leave you out, or any of that. Why do you keep thinking that?"
"When Mommy got sick—at first, when she had her first couple of treatments, she was really really sick, and people had to come to the apartment to help. And I heard a couple of them talking about how- how I shouldn't be there, that caring for me when she was so bad off was just going to be more of a burden on her, and that she should send me away to live with relatives. But we didn't have any, except Aunt Janice, and she's not really my aunt for real. So I- I tried to be helpful and not need anything, I did stuff for Mommy and took care of her so that no one would send me away!"
I started to cry harder, and I felt Daddy rubbing my back. I buried my face in his neck.
"Oh, sweetheart, I wish I had known about all that, I would have come and done whatever I could to help out." Daddy said.
"You shouldn't have had to go through that, Charlie," Grandpa John said. "They should have brought more people in to help out your mom, and to take care of you."
"I wish you hadn't overheard that, I'm sure it made you feel worse," Uncle Sam said. "They shouldn't have been talking like that anyway. But you did a good thing, taking care of your mom the way you did."
"Uncle Sam is right, that's pretty amazing that you were taking care of your mom, and yourself, when she was sick like that. You know that?" Daddy stroked my cheek with his fingertip. "And now, you don't have to do that any more. We're here to take care of you, and you can just be a kid, and not worry about those things. All right?"
"And we're not going to send you away or anything like that, ever," Uncle Sam said. "Right Dean?"
"Right, we're all a family now, and we take care of each other."
"Okay, Daddy," I said, and I yawned.
"Let's get you back to bed," Daddy said. "It's very late." Uncle Sam, and Grandpa John, and even Uncle Bobby all gave me a kiss, and Grandpa John ruffled my hair too. Daddy carried me back up to my room and tucked me back into bed.
"Get some sleep, so you can get better." he kissed my forehead and stood up. "We'll be right downstairs if you need anything, okay?"
"'Kay," I murmured, already falling asleep.
I dreamed that it was when Mommy first got sick, and I heard the people talking about sending me away. Then they said they were going to give me to relatives.
"Don't I have a Daddy?" I asked. "Can't you try and find him?" I wanted them to look for Daddy.
"No, you're going to live with your Aunt and Uncle," a nurse said.
"But I don't have a aunt and a uncle," I told her.
The next thing I knew, I was living in Harry Potter's house, from the movie, and the actors who played Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were supposed to be my aunt and uncle. But there was no magic or Hogwarts or Harry Potter, they were just mean to me all the time. I lived under the stairs and cried myself to sleep every night. Then they told me that my mother had died, and that I had to stay with them. I asked if I had a father, and they said yes, but that he was married with his own family. In the dream, I ran into the back yard, to the bushes at the very end, and there was a little creature that looked like Dobby. He handed me a little book and said, "In this book is everything you can do to make your life better."
I sat up in my bed, completely awake. I felt better all of a sudden, my body didn't hurt, and I didn't feel hot. I felt like I had energy. I couldn't sleep, so I got out of bed and got out my backpack with all my action figures and little toys in it. I dumped it out on the floor to find all my Hello Kitty figurines, so I could play with them. They had gone all over the place when I dumped them out, so I had to crawl around looking for them. One had gone partway under the dresser. I reached my hand under the dust ruffle of the bed and touched a book, then I lifted the fabric and looked. I had forgotten about the Grimoire!
I pulled it out, and the little creature saying, "In this book is everything you can do to make your life better" went through my head again. I opened the book up and began to flip through it. Some of the pictures scared me, there were drawing of people cutting their arms and bleeding into a pot or a bowl, and there were some scary looking devil-type of creatures on some pages. But then I found the section with spells. The writing was very fancy on the tops of the pages, and some of the words were spelled funny, but I could figure out what they were saying. I found the page that said, "To Bring the Dead Back from the Grave" and looked at that for a while. You needed a bunch of different herbs mostly, and blood. Yuck! I started to feel a little tired, so I closed the book and shoved it back under the bed. Then I collected all my Hello Kitty figurines and lined them up together so I could figure out what to play with them.
"Charlie," someone said quietly. I felt a hand on the back of my head. "Wake up."
I opened my eyes. I was laying on my tummy on the floor, with my toys all spread out around me. I remembered what had happened. Daddy was squatting on the floor next to me.
"You decided to have a late night party with all your little dolls, huh? Are you feeling better?"
"Yeah, I am," I said, sitting up. He stood up and got the ear thermometer, and put it in my ear. When he checked it, he gave a sigh of relief.
"Normal. I hope that means your fever broke during the night."
"What does that mean? How does a fever break?"
"It just means that the fever stops being so high, and the temperature goes back to normal," he smoothed my hair back from my face. "Do you want to try and come downstairs for breakfast?"
""Yeah," I said.
"Clean this up, and come down, then," he told me, and left the room.
I started to put everything back in the back pack.
"You look like you're feeling better."
I turned my head, and Uncle Sam was standing in the doorway. I got up and walked over to him. He leaned down and picked me up.
"Good morning," he said, and put his hand on my forehead. "No fever, that's great!" He smiled at me. "Ready to go downstairs and eat?"
"Yes," I said. He carried me down to the kitchen. Grandpa John and Uncle Bobby were already sitting at the table, and there was a plate of bacon and a platter of pancakes on the table too.
Daddy got me a plate, and put some food on it.
"I thought we could go to the Zoo, in a couple of days," he said to me. "I want to wait and make sure that you're completely well before we go out."
"Okay, Daddy," I said.
"And the moms from the library group have decided to start having a weekly play date at that park we went to, so you have that to look forward to," Uncle Sam smiled at me.
"I think you should take it easy today, though," Daddy said.
"I will." I finished my pancakes and put one more on my plate.
"I guess you are feeling better, your appetite's back," Uncle Sam said. "You barely ate anything when you were sick."
Daddys phone rang, and he answered it, and then got up and left the room. When he was done, he came back into the room and sat down.
"You up for some pool tonight, Sammy?" he asked. "Lori's got a friend, she asked if we wanted to get together this evening."
"Uh...sure." Uncle Sam said. "I thought you wanted to wait until Charlie was better before you went out again."
"She is better," Daddy said. "Her fever broke last night, and anyway we won't be going out until after she's in bed, it'll be fine."
I looked at Daddy. "I don't want you to go out," I whined.
"You'll be asleep, you won't even notice we're gone." He said.
He made me lay down and take a nap during the day, even though the fever was gone and I felt better. I didn't want to, and I argued with him, and he swatted my butt. I did fall asleep, so I guess I needed it. I mostly laid around watching movies all day. After dinner, Daddy and Uncle Sam and I sat down and watched part of the first Harry Potter movie, and then I went to take a bath. When I was done, I got into my pajamas and went in search of Uncle Sam so he could brush my hair like he always did. As I came downstairs, I could hear talking in the kitchen.
"Well, I don't think you ought to be going out right now!" Grandpa John's voice sounded angry. I stood just outside the doorway, listening.
"She's shown again and again that she's feeling insecure, and every time you go out, whether it's on a date or whatever, she's going to keep feeling it. You've also got to make time for her, make sure you spend time with her every day-"
"Oh, you're a fine one to talk about that," Daddy interrupted. "There were days that we didn't see you at all- days, Dad. And now you're lecturing me about spending time with my kid?"
"Why do you feel the need to throw that in my face, Dean? You want to discuss what a shitty parent I was, that's fine, we'll talk later all you want, but right now we are talking about your daughter! And she needs to know that you're here for her."
"Well, she does know that."
"I don't think so."
"I disagree. She knows that I love her and would do anything for her. I was by her bedside practically the whole time she was sick!"
"And Bobby told me she was half out of her head with fever and crying from bad dreams half the time. You think she remembers you sitting with her?"
"What do you want me to do, give up my whole life so I can stay home and play house-father?"
"No, Dean, make some adjustments. That's what you've told her, now you need to make it happen. And you need to concentrate on just being a father for a little while and stop thinking with your dick."
"All right, I'm done with the lecture from you. I don't need to hear any more of this shit. Sam! SAMMY! LET'S GO!" Daddy bellowed.
I heard his footsteps walking, and I ran into the kitchen.
"Daddy, I thought you weren't leaving until after I was in bed," I whined.
"Plans have changed," he said tersely.
"But-"
"Charlie, it'll be fine," Daddy said. He leaned down and looked me in the eyes. "You know that I love you, right?"
"Uhh—yeah?" I said.
"Why do you sound so uncertain? Am I that much of a meany?" He reached over and tickled my side.
"No, Daddy, you're not mean!" I moved away from his hand and giggled.
"Give me a hug," he said, and I put my arms around him. He kissed my cheek and said, "Be good for those two old coots, all right?"
"I heard that," Uncle Bobby said, coming in to the kitchen. "Just for that, I'm giving her a double espresso and lettin' her loose in your room, after you get home tonight."
Daddy let me go and stood up. "Oh, you do that, and we'll be having words tomorrow, old man," he said in a mock-stern voice, and then he and Uncle Bobby grinned at each other. Uncle Sam had came into the kitchen too.
"Show some respect, Dean," Uncle Sam said. "Great wisdom comes with advanced age." I walked over to him and handed him the brush, and he brushed my hair gently.
"Well, I think the wisdom skipped this house," Daddy said.
"Advanced age?" Grandpa John said. "I'm not that old yet, and I can still take both of you, so watch your mouths!"
"I don't doubt it," Uncle Sam said. He leaned down to kiss the top of my head, and handed my my brush.. "Be good, Charlie, and don't let these two 'youngsters' get you into any trouble."
He grinned at me. "Dean, we better get out of here before they both decide that we need our asses- I mean butts kicked."
"All right, let's go," Daddy said. "Good night, Charlie."
"I need another hug!" I said, and Daddy leaned down and hugged me and kissed the top of my head. I watched them walk down the steps and get into the Impala.
"Okay, now that they're gone, I'm gonna show you what I got," Uncle Bobby said. He walked into the pantry and came out with a plastic bag, and set it on the counter. Then he opened the freezer and started to move containers around. He pulled out three different-sized containers out and brought them over to the table.
"We got Neapolitan, fudge ripple, and coffee ice cream," Uncle Bobby looked at me. "I thought we could make banana splits tonight while the boys are out."
"Oh wow!" I said. "I've never had coffee ice cream before! Can I try it?"
Grandpa John looked at Uncle Bobby, and they grinned at each other.
"Course you can, kid," Uncle Bobby said. He got out three big bowls, and got the bananas down from the top of the fridge. Grandpa John sliced them up while Uncle Bobby took stuff out of the plastic bag- chocolate syrup, strawberry topping, rainbow sprinkles, and whipped cream in a can.
They dished out the ice cream and Grandpa John helped me put the toppings on mine.
"How is it?" he asked.
"Really yummy!" I said happily. "This is a great idea!"
"Sam told me that the two 'a you watched The Hobbit the other night," Uncle Bobby said. "We're gonna watch the cartoon version tonight, it was on tv when I was a kid. See how you like it. Got some great music in it, too."
"Okay!" I smiled at him.
"Tonight, I'd like to ask you about the dreams you had when you were sick, too, if you can remember them." Grandpa John said.
"O-kay," I said, feeling uncertain. "What if I can't remember much?"
"You tell me what you can. And you know, sometimes when you talk about your dreams, more comes back to you as you're talking."
Uncle Bobby made a huge bowl of popcorn, and got out a package of chocolate chip cookies that he had bought, and the three of us watched the cartoon Hobbit. It was kinda different than the movie, and a lot shorter, but I liked it. I loved the part where Bilbo was telling riddles with Gollum.
After the movie was over, I got into my pajamas and brushed my teeth, then I went to give Uncle Bobby and Grandpa John hugs. Grandpa John walked to my room with me, and sat down on my bed with a notebook.
"What are you doing?"
"Well, remember I have a friend, Missouri, who knows things like you do? She told me to write down some information about you, and I think it's a good idea to write down your dreams too. She wants to meet you someday."
"She does? Is she nice?"
"Yes, she's very kind. She's the one- she really helped me right after...Mary passed. She was a great friend to me when I really needed it."
I told him everything I could remember, about each dream. He looked concerned when I told him about the dream with the man with yellow eyes.
"Was this the same man that you had dreamed about before- remember, you told me about that when you had started to see Mary?"
"Umm..." I thought about it. Then I looked at him. "Oh my gosh, I think it was the same guy!" I felt scared. "Grandpa John, is he a real person? Is he going to come after you and- and fight you?"
"Uh, no, don't worry about it," he said, but he wouldn't look at me for a couple of minutes after that. He asked me some questions about the dream, writing everything down that I said, and then said, "Let's move on to the dream about your Dad getting married."
I started to tear up a little bit. "I don't- I don't want Daddy to get married, he should have married my Mommy! Maybe things would have been different if he had!"
"I don't think your Mom let him know about you until recently," Grandpa John said. "It might not have made a difference, though, she might still have gotten sick and all."
"But then I would have met all of you sooner!"
He smiled at me and ruffled my hair. "Well, we know each other now, and that's what's important." He leaned forward a little bit. "Listen, I don't want you to ever have doubts about this, okay? Your Dad, and Uncle Sam, and Bobby and I- we all love you a lot, kiddo, so don't let your insecurity make you think otherwise. All right?"
"Okay," I said, feeling shy.
"I wasn't too sure about Dean being a father, but I think he's doing a fine job, and you're just a wonderful little girl." He leaned over and kissed the top of my head. "I think Mary would be so proud of him, and of you," he said softly, and tears came to his eyes for a moment.
"I really am turning into a sentimental old fool," he laughed, wiping his eyes. "Back to business," he said. "what else did you dream about?"
Once I told him everything, I was still feeling upset about the wedding dream. "If I dreamed about you having cuts on your face, then doesn't that mean that all the other dreams will come true too? Did the other stuff in that dream happen?"
Grandpa John got an uneasy look on his face. "Um, I don't think I should tell you what happened to me. But I will tell you this. Sometimes people do dream things that come true, and sometimes they dream things that only partially come true. Something might happen to change what the person dreamed about. You know?"
"No, I don't get it."
"Well, you might dream that you're going to the park the next day, but then a sudden rainstorm happens, so that changes what you had dreamed about. Understand?"
"I think so. Sometimes other things happen, that make the dreams wrong?"
"Kind of. I think Missouri could explain it to you better." He closed the notebook. "All right, it's time for lights out and hit the rack."
"What's the rack?" I asked.
"It's military slang for bed," he leaned down and kissed my forehead, and tucked me in. "Good night, Charlie."
It had been a busy week. Daddy and Uncle Sam and I had gone to the Zoo, and to an Aquarium, and we had been on a couple of play dates with different people. There was a woman named Miss June that Daddy had gone out with a couple of times, and she had 4-year-old twins names Hannah and Cole. We had gotten together with them at the park twice. Cole didn't like me for some reason. He wasn't mean to me, really, but he ignored me and would do little things like push me when he walked by me on the playground equipment. He really liked Daddy, and would hang all over him until his Mom shooed him away. He would ask Daddy to push him on the swings or help him on the monkey bars.
We were sitting down at a table to eat a snack. Hannah was already there, and I sat next to her.
"Could you open this, Dean?" Hannah held up a package of granola bars.
"Sure," Daddy said, taking it from her. He opened it and handed it to her.
I reached over and took Daddy's hand. "Sit next to me, Daddy," I said.
Cole had come over and was standing on the other side of the table. "No, sit wif me, Dean," he said.
I looked at Cole. "He's my Daddy, so he should sit with me," I snapped.
"Hey, be nice," Daddy admonished.
Cole got onto the bench and picked up a package of granola bars and threw it at me.
"Hey!" I exclaimed, as it hit my arm.
"Cole!" Miss June said in an annoyed way. "We don't throw things at people!"
"He sit wif me!" Cole demanded.
"I'm not going to sit down, so you two can stop bickering," Daddy said. "Geez, I never thought I'd be so popular with the kiddie crowd."
Miss June smiled at him. "Why not? You're a good guy, Dean."
Daddy blushed a little bit. "Aw, shucks, you're gonna make me blush," he said.
I looked at him. "You are blushing, Daddy." I told him.
"Sorry, didn't mean to make you blush," Miss June said.
"That's okay," Daddy smiled at her, and she smiled back. It seemed like all they did was smile at each other.
After we ate our snack, Miss June went to her car and got out a bag of sand toys. There was a big sand pile on one end of the playground, and we went over to play there. Cole kept smashing my sand pile and grabbing whatever I was playing with. Finally I got annoyed, and I pushed him.
"Quit being so grabby!" I yelled. He had been squatting down, and he fell over onto his side with a yelp.
"Hey!" Daddy came hurrying over to us. "Charlie, what are you doing?"
"He- he keeps bugging me! He keeps wrecking what I'm trying to make, and he keeps taking my shovel!" I exclaimed.
Miss June had come over. "Cole, you need to share, remember? These toys are for all our friends to play with."
Cole sat up and brushed the sand off of his arm. "She not my fwiend." he said stubbornly.
"Cole!" Miss June said. "Everyone is our friend."
I grabbed the shovel out of his hand. "I was using that," I snapped.
"Charlie!" Daddy said in a scolding way. "No grabbing! What's going on, have you forgotten how to act like a civilized person?"
"Well, it's getting to be that time of day, we're going to have to go soon. Fifteen more minutes, kids, and then we have to go home for rest time."
"Don't wanna naaaaap," Cole whined.
Daddy chuckled. "I've heard that before," he looked at me. "Are you going to behave?"
"Yes, Daddy," I said sourly.
"Hey, you can go sit in time out over there if you're going to start with the attitude," he told me. He watched me for a moment, then he and Miss June walked back to the bench they had been sitting on.
Cole turned his head to watch them, then he looked at me and stuck his tongue out. I stuck my tongue out right back at him!
"Wet's make a castle," Hannah said to me. We started to make a big pile of sand, and she collected some sticks and rocks to put on it.
"Mommy, come see our castle!" she called. As Miss June and Daddy were coming over, Cole stood up, and then stomped on our castle.
"No, Cole!" Hannah screamed, standing up. She burst into tears. I stood up too, and I reached over and pushed Cole again.
"He weckded our castle!" Hannah wailed.
"All right, Charlie, time out for pushing, for the second time," Daddy pointed at the bench. "Go sit over there."
"But Daddy, did you see what he did? We worked on that-"
"Yes, I saw, but you know better than to push, and you did it twice!"
"Aww-"
"Charlotte Ann. Go." Daddy's voice got deeper, and he frowned at me. I sighed and trudged over to the bench and sat down. Miss June scolded Cole and then made him sit down in front of a tree in time out while she comforted Hannah.
They cleaned up the sand toys, and then everyone walked over to where I was sitting.
"Charlie, what do you say?" Daddy asked.
"Cole's a big meany! He kept smashing my sand down an' takin' what I was playing with! He-"
"No, Charlie, you need to apologize," the corners of Daddy's mouth twitched.
"Sorry, Cole." I said, staring at my feet.
Miss June nudged Cole. "What do you say?" she prompted.
"Sowwy," Cole said in a grumpy way.
"All right," Miss June sighed. "I guess we're going to go. We'll see you around."
"Okay," Daddy said. "Come on, Charlie."
I stood up and followed him to the car. He made me wait before I got in, and he brushed the sand off of my my legs and shoes.
"I'm not happy with the way you acted today," he told me as we left the parking lot.
I felt myself blushing. "Cole doesn't like me! He's mean to me!"
"Well, if he does something, you come and tell me or his mom. You don't take matters into your own hands."
"Okay, Daddy," I looked out the window. "You like Miss June a lot?"
"Well, I wouldn't say... a lot. I feel bad for her, she's been through some stuff. Her husband...wasn't very nice to her. She had a rough time for a while." Daddy glanced at me in the rear view mirror. "Do you like her?"
"I guess."
Daddy turned on the radio and hummed along while we drove home. As we came into the kitchen, Daddy said, "I want you to take a bath tonight, you got kinda dirty playing in the sand."
"Okayokay," I said, feeling grumpy.
Daddy took my arm. "If you're going to continue to talk to me like that, then maybe you need a nap too. Is that it?"
"Noooo," I whined. I tried to pull away from him. "Lemme go!"
Daddy leaned down to look me in the face. "No more attitude today," he said seriously.
I dropped my eyes and stared at my feet. "Okay. I mean yes, Daddy."
He straightened and let go of my arm. "Go wash your hands off, it's almost time for lunch."
I started to walk out of the room and Uncle Sam caught me around the waist. He was sitting at the kitchen table with some books.
"Hey," he said, "What's up?"
"Cole's mean to me," I told him.
"Who is Cole?"
"Well, you were kind of mean to him too," Daddy said.
"But he started it! He kept takin' my stuff!"
"And like I said, you should have come and told me or his mom." He looked at Uncle Sam. "She got put in time out for pushing, twice."
"Oh," Uncle Sam looked at me and I felt myself blushing again. "That's not good."
"I said I was sorry!" I grumped.
"Only after I reminded you," Daddy said.
Uncle Sam hugged my shoulders and let me go. "Other than that, did you have fun?"
"I guess." I said. "Hannah is nice." I left to go wash my hands. As I came back I could hear Daddy saying, "-misses her husband, and he hangs on me sometimes, so I let him. And I think Charlie doesn't like that."
I went back into the kitchen. "I don't like what?" I asked.
"When Cole hangs on me."
"I don't like it!" I frowned. "He acts like you're his dad, and you're not!"
Daddy pulled me over to him and put his arm around me. "Well listen, his Daddy wasn't very nice, and he left them when the twins were about 2 years old and he doesn't see them that much. Cole really misses him, and little boys need to have a Dad around. So I figure if he wants to be with me, it's okay."
"Well, it's not okay with me!" I pulled away from Daddy.
"I don't know who you think you are, little girl," Daddy's eyes flashed at me angrily. "But I don't have to answer to you about anything. You need to stop being so mean about that kid."
"He's mean to me!" I exclaimed.
"I don't want to hear it any more," Daddy said, shaking his head.
"Fine! Leave me alone!" I shouted, turning to leave. Daddy grabbed my arm.
"Go sit in time out on the stairs," he said. "No, actually, you've already been in time out once today. Go to your room. And the next time you get a consequence, it's going to be a spanking." He let me go, and gave me a little push. " Go on, I'll come and get you when it's lunch time."
I stomped up the stairs to my room, brushing tears out of my eyes. I did not like that kid, and he didn't like me either! I hoped that I didn't have to keep playing with him.