("I was told when I get older
All my fears would shrink
But now I'm insecure
And I care what people think."

"My name's Blurryface and I care what you think
My name's Blurryface and I care what you think."

"Wish we could turn back time
To the good old days
When our momma sang us to sleep
But now we're stressed out.")

- twenty one pilots, "Stressed Out"

June 2018

Age 18

Lucas had never been on a helicarrier, at least, not in real life. He'd ridden in small helicopters in mocks, but that couldn't compare to the intense feeling when he walked up the ramp into the helicarrier that felt like the size of a small town. People were moving up and down the ramp, driving vehicles and unloading equipment and supplies into the belly of the aircraft. Sounds around him, people yelling into headsets and over beeping and engines, seemed to bleed into his ears as the cold wind whipped around him and he stared up at the sky, visible behind blinding flood lights illuminating the tarmac.

"Out of the way!" Yelled a man directing the traffic up and down the helicarrier ramp, and Lucas darted back as a truck rolled up the ramp.

He gripped the straps of his duffle bag tighter, trying to figure out where he should go.

"Come on," Josh ordered loudly from behind him, and Lucas turned in surprise, but Josh didn't stop as he brushed by Lucas on his way up the ramp. Not wanting to be left behind, Lucas hurried to follow his team leader.

"What was all that?" He asked as Josh led him into the passenger bay of the aircraft and dropped his duffle bag on the floor to shove it under a seat.

"You thought this thing was just taking us to the safe house and going back?" Josh snorted. "We're on a bus that's on a twelve hour route and we just get off at one of the stops."

"So buckle up," Maya agreed, dumping her duffle bag on the floor and kicking it under her seat. "Because I heard on the ramp that they're doing last system checks and are closing up."

"Where's Riley?"

"I'm here," Riley came up from behind them, dropping her bag on the floor and kicking it under a seat. "The director had some last minute notes for me. They closed the ramp, we're taking off in five."

Riley sat down in a seat and strapped herself into the four-point harness before leaning her head back to stare up at the ceiling of the passenger bay, and the few lights that illuminated the otherwise dim, windowless space.

Taking the cue, Josh strapped himself in next to his sister, and Lucas sat down next to Maya against the opposite wall of the bay. He watched as Josh muttered something to Riley, and Riley's face snapped down to his, slightly alarmed. She murmured something back, and Josh nodded slowly in understanding.

Lucas felt the helicarrier start to move and heard the white noise of being in a plane begin to fill his ears, and he took a deep breath, bracing himself for what came next.

The team touched down on an airfield in Rhode Island just before 11pm, and were boarded into a small helicopter that flew them directly to their safe house, landing on a helipad on the outskirts of the enormous property. They darted through the field as the helicopter lifted back into the air, and Lucas stared at the sky, stars more visible than ever in the pitch black field.

Josh flicked on a flashlight. "You'd think they would have left the lights in the house on for us." He swung the flashlight around, getting a sense of the area until they spotted the house in the distance.

"How big is this property?" Lucas muttered in disbelief as they started the trek to the house.

"Five acres," Riley answered absently, and Lucas's eyes widened as they snapped to hers.

"Is that a lot?" Maya asked, and Lucas glanced over at her.

"Think about it this way," Lucas suggested as they trudged closer and closer to the house, which appeared to sit a little further than the middle of the property. "Three football fields is about the same size as four acres. And we have five."

"Damn," Maya muttered. "Real estate must be cheap out here."

"...Relatively," Riley agreed hesitantly.

As they rounded the house towards the front door, Josh pulled a key from his jacket pocket and held the flashlight in his mouth as he slid it into the lock.

"Let's hope they paid the electric bill," Maya joked.

Somehow the house felt even more silent than the deserted property had been, and Lucas got an intense feeling of loneliness as he found the light switch and snapped the first light on.

Josh turned off his flashlight and set it down on a shelf near the entryway, as they fanned out into the different areas of the house to turn on lights. Lucas found his way into the large kitchen and opened the refrigerator curiously, slightly surprised to find it full of regular perishable food items. He opened a few cabinets too, finding dishware and cookware, as well as nonperishable food.

There was a stove, a microwave, an oven, and a toaster along with the refrigerator, and Lucas was reminded of his parents' home, which he hadn't seen in a long time.

Leaving the kitchen, he went to explore the rest of the house, and bumped into Riley as he passed through the dining room.

"Hey."

"Hey." She hugged her arms over her body. "There's a bathroom downstairs and one upstairs too. Four bedrooms upstairs, they're all pretty much identical."

"Living room has a television!" Maya called from a few rooms over, and Lucas followed the sound of her voice to find the living room, which, indeed, had a television, along with several chairs and a couch.

"This place is nice," Lucas commented, and Maya nodded.

"A thousand times better than the places I've lived before."

Making their way up the stairs, the four found that there were, indeed, four identical bedrooms connected by one hallway - two doors on one side of the hallway, and two on the other.

"Choose your room," Maya suggested, snorting, as they all stood awkwardly. "They're all the same."

"Then it doesn't matter," Josh observed, heading for the room closest to him on the right side of the hall.

Maya shrugged and headed for the door opposite Josh's, pushing open the door to drop her things.

Lucas held out a hand, as if to say, 'ladies first', towards Riley, and she shrugged too, opening the door next to Maya's room, leaving the room next to Josh's for Lucas.

It was late, and he could feel exhaustion setting in as he dropped his bag on the floor and switched on the light. The room was incredibly similar to his dorm room at the academy - but for the fact that there was only one set of furniture, for one occupant. Sitting on a white frame, the twin-sized bed had simple light gray sheets and two pillows with the same color pillow cases, but the duvet was a darker blue. The desk and chair were also white wood, set under the window that was currently pitch black with the night. He had a real closet, with both hanging space and a dresser holding five wide drawers. He had no idea who would have enough clothes for that much space, but he quickly organized his clothes into different drawers based on pajamas and underclothes, casual clothes, training clothes, and the two custom made mission suits he had been given. His meeting suit was hung up in the closet.

Intending to unpack the rest in the morning, he changed into his pajamas and threw his used clothes on the desk chair. He left his room to head for the bathroom and brush his teeth, but found Riley having had the same idea.

She met eyes with him in the mirror, finishing brushing and rinsing her mouth before turning to face him. "Sorry, I'm done." Lucas stood back to let her leave, eyeing her as she passed him, searching for psychological cues.

Head bent down, breathing deeply, walking deliberately. She was probably just tired; they all were.

That didn't stop him from worrying, nor from flashing back to their conversation last August. He had promised her he'd always try to help her; he'd promised he'd do whatever she wanted regarding them. He was just anxious to know what that was, now that they'd left the academy.

"Goodnight," Riley said, pausing at her bedroom door to call to Lucas across the hallway.

Lucas smiled a little. "Goodnight."

A/N: I don't really like this chapter, it's really short and isn't very interesting. It's really just an information filler chapter. We'll get started on the interesting parts in the next few chapters, and Joshaya will really kick into high gear.

Currently it's my 'spring break' which is actually just another word for 'catch up week' when you're a business college junior. I've got about 8 chapters of various textbooks to read and several assignments and online quizzes to do, so, as those of you who know me know, that results in two options: I completely disappear to actually do the shit I have to do, or I avoid homework desperately by writing and publish lots of chapters on different stories.

Then there's the fact that the first anniversary of my mom's death is tomorrow, and I don't think it's really set in, for me nor my sister. What's hard to believe is that I posted a chapter on Anecdoche the day she died, and I've been writing on this site for over 2 years.

Idk. Wish me luck in whatever my brain decides.

Kisses,

C