DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto universe.

Thinking (+ flashbacks, "Naruto speaking to Kurama in her mindscape," etc.)

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

Once they were far enough out of Suna, Naru peeked into the carriage the two princes were in. She couldn't help herself. "You did a wonderful job, Lee!" She heard a mumble of "troublesome" behind her but ignored it.

The boy's face popped out of the carriage window, although his father pulled him back inside. "What do you mean, Fox?" Lee asked.

"I saw you guarding your father."

"He should never have had to," BPW bemoaned, but then saw how the tiny kunoichi slumped, almost as if he'd hurt her or there was a large rain cloud over only her head. His son looked up to him and pouted with teary eyes, looking back and forth between him and the chibi kunoichi. "However! I can't think of how Lee could have done a more wonderf- Nay! …A more magnificent job, although you were a close second, Fox-chan!"

"Oh," Naruto squeaked from behind her fox mask, not quite knowing how to feel about that. "Thank you!"

"I think Fox comes in first," Lee cheered.

"Maa, maa, Lee-kun: you flatter me," she drawled, channeling her father again as she lazily waved her hand. This time she DID turn around when she heard Rhino mutter that word again.

"We should pick up the pace," Eel said from behind them minutes later.

Naruto waved at the princes and allowed his servants to move forward at a much faster clip alongside the new horse and carriage so that she could take her place behind them. The whole idea of servants was new to Naru, and she reminded herself to ask her dad about it as soon as she got back to Konoha.

The servants had some kind of training because they could go pretty fast for civilians, especially as they had to drag a bunch of BPW's crap. At least this time they didn't have to carry BPW and his kid since BPW bought some "wonderful" stallions in Suna before they had to leave. At this pace, they might be able to make it to Hi no Kuni at least before they had to stop and rest for the night. And they did!

Of course, that's when things got weird.

Eel approached her. "You need to rest. Dispel your shadow clones."

"It doesn't feel right to," Naru admitted.

"That doesn't matter: you need your sleep!"

Naru pouted behind her mask. "Would you treat another Chunin like this?" she asked in a quiet voice.

"I would not."

"Goddammit," Naru muttered under her breath. "Slimy-assed ANBU not respecting my rank!"

"I can hear you."

"Good!"

"Do not curse and be respectful."

Naru rolled on the ground, then dispelled half of her clones. Thinking that she'd been sneaky, she pretended to sleep. When Eel activated his eyes, he scolded her and ordered her to dispel the rest, standing next to her while she tried to go to sleep.

"You should be guarding them, not me," she said as she finally fell asleep on the grass. She never heard how he replied.

"I know," Hizashi admitted. "But I owe you and your mother. And your father."

"Report," Rhino ordered an hour later.

"There's movement on the Wind side of the border," Eel said.

"Well, that's to be expected." Eel only nodded as he offered Rhino a rice ball. The two sat, allowing the civilians and their subordinates to sleep, each lost in their thoughts for another three hours.

"Those on the other side of the border have not moved."

"Levels?"

"One Jonin, four Chunin, five Genin," Eel said dutifully.

Rhino nodded: that would make an odd team or teams, considering how Suna ran missions. Of course, they could be shinobis who were merely out drinking together or anything else, but it was more prudent to continue monitoring them. "Can you stay up? I know you were guarding the chibi last night."

"Of course," Hizashi sniffed.

"What a drag. There's no need to wear out your eyes on 'em. Just check on their position every 15 to 30."

"Very well. Get some sleep, taicho."

BPW was in a huge hurry to get back to the Capital, which was just fine with his team of shinobi that were escorting him. They only had two hours to get to their goal when they were attacked by bandits again. That was also when the first group of shinobi made their move. Eel let them know as soon as the four were in the range of his dojutsu. "Four Genin, One Jonin level: incoming! More behind them!"

"Is it the Guardian 12?" BPW asked loudly. He almost sounded excited. "That would be wonderful!"

"Hand over the Prince!" A guy in ragged clothes yelled. He was a young teenager, and he looked terrified. He was definitely not a shinobi, was shaking, and he obviously either didn't know how to hold his kitchen knife or didn't want to and was eager to run.

"You don't want to do this," Naru said knowingly. "Is someone making you?"

"Shut up! This is all your fault," he said, staring at the smallest shinobi. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?" he yelled before knocking himself in the head with the back of his knife. Rhino had gotten him in his shadow possession jutsu.

"The rest of you can come out now," he said smoothly as he tied the kid up.

"We don't want any trouble, Konoha shinobi," the biggest one of them said as he came out of the tree he was badly hiding behind. He looked really nervous.

"Then you should be on your way, kid," Rhino replied. Eel loudly clicked his tongue behind him. "Troublesome," he mumbled. It was barely heard through his mask. "What's going on here?" He narrowed his eyes at the scared kids as Fox made a sea of clones to surround the caravan before signaling that she sensed incoming shinobis. He hoped that they were the same ones Eel mentioned because the last thing they needed was even more trouble.

"Why do you keep lookin' at me?" Naru asked - because they all were. Each one of them had been giving her frightened, worried looks since they showed up, and that didn't make sense. The first kid did, too. She was super small so they should have been worried about the big guys. I hate being small!

The biggest boy swallowed hard and when he spoke, it was in a whisper. "They've got our friend and they'll only trade him for you. I -uh, think it's you they want."

"That is not going to happen," Rhino replied in an equally low voice, feeling even more anxiety about this whole thing. He had assumed they were after the Daimyo's family or treasure. Maybe the kid was mistaken, and the unknown rogues wanted to trade the kidnapping victim for little Prince Lee?

But it's not like he could ever forget that Fox was the Yondaime Hokage's, the Yellow Flash's, sole legacy. Not to mention Hatake's adopted daughter. Between them and the Habanero, most of the Elemental Nations outside of Hi no Kuni would love to take a piece of her. He wondered once again what Hokage-sama was thinking in allowing Naru out of the village.

"Maybe we should see what happens if I go," Naruto said, scratching at her buns. "I don't want their friend to get hurt! And that way they'll leave BPW and Prince Lee alone!"

Mouse gave her a frustrated look as he received orders to go tie the scared kids up, but to Naru it made sense. Rhino also seemed to be thinking it over as he spoke in a low voice to Eel. Eel was being a butt about it, though. In the end, Rhino gave her a signal and she used a substitution with one of her clones. They walked to the far side of the carriage where the tied-up boys couldn't really see them. The unknown shinobi were coming from that direction, too.

"One," Rhino began, holding a finger up and making the girl go cross-eyed, "if you have outlandish or other ideas, let's not mention it in front of enemies or clients." Fox shrugged sheepishly and waved her arms up as if he should've expected it, though. He should've, he supposed, having been around the kid before this even if it wasn't on a mission. "I'm serious! Two," he continued before muttering about how much of a drag this was, "what are you thinking?"

"When those guys show up, I'll go with them! Well, not me, really: one of my clones. But I gotta start building one up with chakra RIGHT NOW," she said with a growl. Not waiting to see if that was okay, she made another clone and kept both hands on it as Kurama told her what to do. He was bored and wanted to "see some fireworks."

Referring to the clone, she added, "She'll go with the bad guys if they'll agree to leave and be nice and stuff, then the real bad guys will get a big surprise!"

"Dispel your other clones minus one," Rhino said quickly. "Keep this one. YOU, get in the carriage and henge as one of the operators." He quickly moved around and walked back to each of his subordinates before going over to the remaining little clone, who quickly substituted with the "pumped up" one as Naru called it as per his orders while Mouse and Jackal kept the tied up kids busy. He continued scolding her, giving hand signs as actual instructions the entire time that couldn't be seen by the enemies, as the shinobis approached.

"Halt. Leave at once and there will be no bloodshed," Eel said unusually hotly.

"Konoha scum! We'll be taking the brat!"

The henged real Naru whipped the reins of the horses, deciding that today was the best day of her life! She just hoped her team would be okay. She'd find out soon enough when her clone finally "popped." She laughed maniacally as soon as they were a good ways away before the real carriage driver made her hand over the reins.

Exactly as planned, the Konoha shinobi fought the unknown baddies, then "accidentally" lost Naru in the fight. The bad guys took off with her clone and soon enough, the team followed the "BPW" (as they had all begun calling him privately) entourage while their shadow clones followed their smallest team member. Very quickly, they found the boy who had been kidnapped tied to a tree.

Naru's clone jostled along on top of some guy's back, asking questions that were never answered. As time went by, she also tried jokes!
- Where are we going?
- Where are you guys from?
- Is it hot, or is it just me?
- What's a ninja's favorite drink?
- Whaddya call a horse that can't lose?
- Whaddya call a guy with no arms and no legs in the water?
- Whaddya call a guy with no arms and legs who's on your front porch?

"Okay, okay," she said, almost giving up on her budding career as a shinobi comedian for now. "A guy brings a fox home, right? He tells his wife it's gonna be a pet! His WIFE asks him where he's going to keep it, ya know? Guess what he says back to her? Guess!" No one said anything, but Kurama urged her on - or grumbled anyway - despite the fact that this was his least favorite fox joke. "Tough crowd! Anyway, he says that he's gonna keep the fox in their bedroom," she drawled, snickering almost uncontrollably. No one said anything as they kept running, but Naru felt they were paying attention.

"'But what about that horrible smell?' the wife asks." That was Naru's favorite part: she loved teasing Kurama-nii that he was stinky even though he wasn't. "And he says… He says, 'I got used to you, I'm sure the fox will too!'"

It took a minute before a couple of the younger shinobis began sniggering.

"Shut up," the leader ordered. "Do you think this is a joke?"

Naru began to sniff, then pretended to cry. She wasn't scared, except for maybe a little bit at the end of what she had to do, but her family had told her it was something her Kaa-chan was really good at, so she could do it, too! Then she thought of her dad, and how mad he was going to be, and she really did begin to cry. She almost couldn't stop! "I want my daddy!"

"Taicho! How could you…"

"QUIET!"

"She's just a little kid!"

"She's Konoha ANBU!"

"No, I'm not! I dressed up," Naru wailed. The guy carrying her tripped, causing everyone to stop.

"Don't. Lie. To. Me. Your shadow clones have been reported. Let's go!"

Naru began to get really scared, because she hadn't learned much of anything, and didn't think BPW and Lee and their friends had enough time to get home yet. "But they make me real tired," she whimpered, lying her ass off. She did eventually let herself fall asleep on the guy's back, though, right after feeling Shisui's warm chakra following her and catching up. Shisui was so nice. She hoped he didn't get hurt. She didn't want something to happen to him when she exploded.

Exploding clones were her Kaa-chan's "calling card," but soon they'd also be Naru's.

"Inu's going to murder me."

"I'm fine! I'm seriously RIGHT HERE," the original, real Naru reminded her captain after dropping off the BPW brigade. She was going to miss Prince Lee. He had gone to bed and now the ANBU unit was staying the night at the Capital in the dorms the ninja monks stayed in. They had to leave in the morning.

"Fox, tell me exactly what you know about shadow clones."

Naru pouted under her mask; did they think she was stupid?! "I make 'em all the time! They can do just about everything I can and can even make more of each other. Umm, when they dispel or get popped, I can remember all the stuff they did. I think that's it? OH! And of course that one's gonna explode. Probably."

"Troublesome!"

"It's more than troublesome," Eel hissed.

"I don't see why," Mouse said. "Those Chunin definitely thought they'd grabbed the real Fox." One of them had even tossed a kunai at Fox's other clone as they ran away with her other clone just to make sure.

"We'll find out what they want soon, ne?"

Kakashi grabbed her before they even reached Konoha's ANBU secret entrance. As he desperately held his little girl in his arms, he punched Rhino, knocking him on his ass.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, taking my daughter out of the village?!"

"Daddy," Naru whimpered, afraid of how angry he was. Kakashi disappeared with her, only putting her down once they were in their shared room. He began pacing. "I'm - I'm sorry!"

Kakashi collapsed on the bed, dragging his hands through his hair and pulling it. He looked up and found his daughter still in her mask - a fox mask: for fuck's sake! - and shaking, having pushed herself into the corner. "Naru, princess: I'm sorry."

Naru nodded and didn't know what to do. Her father moved to sit by her and took off her mask, smiling sadly at her when he saw her dirty face. "We have to clean you up."

"I - ano - I have to give my mission report."

Kakashi slowly raised one eyebrow, making her squeak. He flopped back in her bed and covered his hands over his face. Is this what his father had felt like when he first went out in the field? He rubbed his eyes, wondering if he regretted taking Naru in. Of course, he didn't: she was his baby girl, but finding out that she wasn't here when he came back from his mission had nearly driven him over the edge. He looked up and saw that she looked afraid. Blowing out a big sigh, he tweaked her nose. "Maa, I missed you chibi-chan."

"I missed you, too," she said, jumping on him to give him a big hug before sitting down on his lap. "I think I did good!"

"Did you now?"

"Un! I got to drive some horses!" Her father's eyebrow slowly rose again - a tell of impending danger if Naru ever knew of one. "And I made a friend." Fortunately, someone knocked on the door.

Growling, Kakashi reminded himself that if he had to Chidori the asshole on the other side, he'd order Naru to close her eyes and cover her ears first. He opened the door and found Eel. "Hizashi," he snarled in greeting. Kakashi had learned that Hizashi had volunteered for the mission so that he could help keep an eye on Naru-chan, and he appreciated it. Hizashi, he'd decided, could live.

Hizashi expected worse from the very young father. "The Hokage wishes to see you both."

Naru curled up on the couch in the Hokage's office and grabbed a blanket to cover herself up. Dirty or not, she was super tired and wondered how her clone was doing. She still hadn't dispelled or exploded, but if SHE was tired, that meant her clone didn't have long to live. The adult shinobi - including Hokage-jiji - were arguing about whether or not "Fox" was supposed to be on the mission, but Naru didn't really care. "OH MY GOSH," she said. Speak of the devil! She started to feel sick as all the memories filtered into her mind. "FUCK!"

"Naru-chan!"

"My clone exploded Kagekaze-sama!" She began to shake and cry, trying not to, but… "Kabuto- ANIKI was there! I blew him up! He's - he's DEAD! He's gotta be dead…"