AUTHOR'S NOTE: It's been a lot of fun to write about Charlie and Ben and their shenanigans, and to read all of the responses to them from everyone! I love reading all the different opinions, thank you for taking the time to leave me reviews! Just a warning, this chapter gets a little heavy and sad, so you may want to keep a tissue handy.
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I woke up hearing a woman singing, "...a good word to say...Guess it's 'cause he was just as wild in the younger days, so blow you old blue northern...blow my love to me..."
I thought I heard a sniffle too, and I opened my eyes. I was curled against the door of Grandpa John's truck with my fleece blanket around me. I looked over at Grandpa John, who was wiping his eyes with his hand.
I sat up. "Are you okay?" I asked.
He leaned forward and pushed a button on the radio, and a tape slid out. He pulled it out and stuck it under his seat, then cleared his throat and glanced at me.
"I'm fine," he said gruffly, although his face was red and his eyes did look a little wet. "How are you feeling? Do you need to stop for a rest room break or anything?"
"Uh, yeah, I gotta go pee and I'm hungry," I looked down at my lap.
"Let me call your Dad and let him know, we can probably stop for a quick lunch."
We pulled into the parking lot of a diner, and Grandpa John lifted me down from the truck.
Daddy came over to us, yawning and stretching. "Let's get you some clothes, and you can get dressed," he said. I followed him over to the trunk of the Impala, and he got out my duffle. He unzipped it and pulled out a shirt and a pair of jeans.
"I don't want that one," I said, standing on my tiptoes to look into my bag. I rooted around and grabbed a Hello Kitty shirt.
"Can I get changed in the car?" I asked.
Daddy and Uncle Sam glanced around. "Sure, that's fine."
I climbed into the back seat and changed into my clothes, bringing my pjs out and handing them to Daddy. He put them in my duffle.
"Need anything else?" he asked. I shook my head, and he shut the trunk. I took his hand as we walked across the lot.
I stayed with them and didn't run ahead when we went to the restrooms. I didn't wander off at the gas station and I stayed right by Uncle Sam when we went in the store to get drinks. I didn't want to get into any sort of trouble for breaking any rules.
We had been in the car for a while and I was reading my Kindle when Daddy glanced back at me. "You've been very well behaved today, Charlie, I'm proud of you."
He smiled at me and glanced at Uncle Sam. "Man, Sam, I gotta tell ya, having two kids is just-" he shook his head, "it's a whole different energy. Now I really get why Dad acted the way he did sometimes."
"Are you saying Charlie and Ben acted like we used to?" Uncle Sam looked at Daddy.
Daddy chuckled, "No, I think we cornered the market on misbehaving Winchesters. It's just- they feed off of each other, you know? No wonder Dad would send us to opposite corners of the room sometimes."
"We thought he was being mean keeping us away from each other when we just wanted to play together."
"When really it was his way of saving his sanity," Daddy chuckled and shook his head again.
He put a tape in of Led Zeppelin music, and then I asked if we would listen to some Beatles. I didn't really like a lot of that classic rock stuff that was loud, but I did like The Beatles. We listened to a couple of Beatles tapes and then Daddy put in AC/DC. I caught his eyes in the mirror and he looked a little nervous.
"What's wrong, Daddy?" I asked him.
He gave me a little smile, but only his mouth smiled. "Nothing's wrong, baby," he said.
He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel but it wasn't really in time to the music.
Uncle Sam turned back to me. "We're in Kansas now," he told me.
I looked out the window at the giant sign that proclaimed "Welcome to Kansas- the Sunflower State".
Daddy took a deep breath and muttered, "Here we go."
"How much longer?" I asked him.
"About a half an hour, forty-five minutes til we get to Missouri's house," he told me.
We drove through a city and then the scenery started to change to neighborhoods. Finally we pulled up to a curb of a two-story house with pretty trim and a porch with a swing and two rocking chairs.
We followed Grandpa John up the sidewalk quietly, and he rang the doorbell, glancing back at us. Daddy smiled at me, but his face looked nervous now.
The front door opened and a plump African-American woman with short hair was standing there.
"Hello, hello, y'all come in!" she stepped back, and Grandpa John walked in first. Daddy went next and I stayed close behind, with Uncle Sam behind me.
We were in a large foyer that had a radiator against the far wall, with a few straight backed chairs next to a staircase. There was a small coffee table with magazines scattered across it and some strings of shiny faceted crystals hanging from the ceiling.
"Well, lemme look at you," she said, "John Winchester," she said warmly, putting her hands on his cheeks for a moment, "How you been, honey?"
He smiled at her. "I've been all right," he said.
"You got rid of the beard and now I can see those handsome dimples of yours!" she smiled back at him and they hugged.
She turned to us, and I stepped closer to Daddy and took his hand.
"Dean," she said with a little grin, "I see you been busy," she glanced down at me, "You got not one, but two kids now? How many more little Dean Winchesters we got out there?"
Daddy blushed. "As far as I know it's just Charlie and Ben," he said sheepishly.
Missouri turned her attention to me. "And here she is," she said. She held her hands out to me. "How are you, child?"
I hesitated, and she said, "Don't be nervous, honey."
I took her hands, and then I saw her, standing in a yard, wearing a broad brimmed straw hat and cutting flowers off of a bush.
I looked up at her and she let my hands go. "What did you see?" she asked.
"Um, you were in a yard, cutting flowers, you had a big hat on," I said.
"That's right," she nodded, "That's what I send to people when I want to block them. It's kinda like a 'screensaver' on a computer, a stock image that doesn't tell them anything." she leaned down to me, "I can teach you how to do that, and also how to block other people so you aren't gettin' their energy and then blurtin' out their business."
"You can?" I asked, feeling relieved.
"Yes, I can. Let's go into the living room and sit down and visit a while." She extended her arm, and Grandpa John walked through a large open doorway with a wooden beaded curtain in the doorframe that had been swept to one side. I followed Daddy in and Missouri greeted Sam as they walked, " Hey Sam, been keepin' busy with your brother, sweetie?"
"Not that kind of busy," Uncle Sam grinned, "Trying to stay out of trouble."
"Your brother's the one who could find enough trouble for the both 'a you," she said with another little smile, "Sit down, y'all, and I'll bring out some food."
Against one wall was a long sofa with a knitted afghan across the back of it, flanked by an end table on each side. There was a long coffee table in front with a large doily on it that was surrounded by magazines and books. Across from the sofa were two overstuffed armchairs.
Grandpa John sat down at the end of the sofa and I sat between him and Daddy. Uncle Sam sat down across from us in an armchair. I started to look around at everything.
The room had light colored walls and all the trim around the doors and windows was dark brown wood. The floor was a lighter colored wood with a large faded area rug in the center of the room. There were tall windows at one end, with a long table in front that was brimming with potted plants and knick-knacks. In one corner stood a large glassed- in cabinet, that held old framed photographs, fancy looking teacups, vases, and other odds and ends like large chunks of uncut gemstones and small leather-bound books.
Missouri bustled in carrying a large tray and Grandpa John jumped up to help her with it. He took it from her and set it on the coffee table.
"Thank you, honey, always the gentleman," she smiled at him again, "Sit down, I've got coffee brewin' for you," She looked at Daddy and Uncle Sam, "Iced tea, or lemonade?"
Daddy looked over at me. "You want some lemonade, Charlie?" he asked.
"Yes please," I said timidly. Missouri poured a glass of lemonade for me and then handed out small plates of cookies. "I've got shortbread and oatmeal cookies," she said.
The plate she handed me was china, with large red and pink flowers on it. I balanced it carefully on my knees.
"Let me check, that coffee should be done," she left the room again, "Boys, either of you want any?"
"I'll take some," Uncle Sam said. I looked at him hopefully- maybe he would let me have a sip of his.
In a moment she was back with another small tray that had china cups filled with steaming coffee and a small sugar bowl and creamer pitcher. She set the tray on the small table next to Uncle Sam and gave him a china cup and saucer, then handed one to Grandpa John.
She turned to me. "Little girls shouldn't be drinkin' coffee," she said.
I felt myself blushing. "I wasn't gonna ask," I said timidly, "H-how did you know?"
"I could feel you hoping that Sam was gonna let you have a taste of his," she said, turning to look at him, "Sam, you're a uncle now, how 'bout that? And Dean's a daddy, two times over. John, you feelin' old yet?" she grinned at him, "I 'member when these two was lil' wild things jumpin' on my sofa. You remember visiting with me when you were, oh, I'd say about two years old, Sam?" she asked.
Uncle Sam shook his head. "No ma'am, I don't."
"I only feel old when it's damp and rainy and my joints ache," Grandpa John said, grinning back at her, "Charlie keeps all of us feeling young."
"She keeps all 'a y'all on your toes," Missouri said, "Of that I'm sure." She picked up a tea cup and sat down in the other armchair next to Uncle Sam.
"Can I ask you some questions, child, about your abilities?"
"O-okay," I said hesitantly.
"When did you first notice them?"
"Uh, when I was little, I would know things about people," I said, "Like 3 or 4 maybe? I 'member I was in preschool and I knew the teacher's dog was gonna die. I—I made her cry," I could feel my face get red and I felt sad all over again, "I couldn't help it, the words just have to come out of my mouth!" I looked up at her, tears coming to my eyes suddenly.
Missouri was looking at me intently, and she nodded. "I know, honey, when your gift comes on that young it's real hard to control. Heck, a three-year-old can barely control their emotions as it is, much less an ability like this! And listen, I know you feel guilty about makin' people cry and them getting' upset, but that ain't on you, hear? You didn't cause anything, you're the messenger. It's hard for people to hear things sometimes. You couldn't help that you said things any more than you could help sneezing. It's too bad no one thought to find someone to help you manage your gifts back then,"
"Why do you keep calling it a gift?"
"Well that's what it is, child, it's a special ability that not many people have."
"I don't think its' a gift, more like a curse," I muttered.
"Oh, sweetie, there's gonna be times when you actually help people, and then you'll get to feeling it's a gift."
"That's already happened," Uncle Sam said, "Remember the waitress, with the baby?" He and Daddy told Missouri about that, and then Uncle Sam talked about the girl I had seen at PT with the incorrect diagnosis.
"So you see, Charlie, even though you can't control them, your abilities have already helped people," Missouri smiled at me. Then she looked at all of us as she spoke. "Now, I feel that I must tell you that I think it is auspicious that you all are here during this time of AllHallowTide."
"What's that?" I asked.
"AllHallowTide is the time from October 31st to November 2nd, and it is a time to remember the dearly and faithful departed. November 1st is All Saint's Day and November 2nd is All Soul's Day," Missouri looked at Grandpa John, "You know I believe that it's of importance that Mary... passed on All Soul's Day. I think that protected her from—that which was in that house."
Grandpa John nodded. "I remember you telling me."
"Why's is it suspicious that we're here on those days?" I asked.
"Auspicious," Missouri smiled at me again, "it means favorable, meaning that I think that my teaching you how to control your abilities is going to be successful."
"How are you going to do that?" I asked.
"We'll discuss that later. Now, would any of y'all like to freshen up? The bathroom's down the hall on the right."
Uncle Sam put his cup down on the coffeetable and left the room.
"Ya'll staying for supper? I made my jambalaya, and some red beans and rice," she said.
"We'd love that," Grandpa John said.
"And I've got macaroni and cheese for your girl, I know most children don't like spicy food," she stood up, "Let me go check on it, and I'll tell you when we can eat."
"What do you think, Charlie?" daddy asked.
"She seems nice," I said, "I hope she can help me."
"I think she'll be able to," Grandpa John finished his coffee.
"John, come get some more if you want," Missouri called.
I looked at Daddy. "Can she read minds?"
Daddy looked a little nervous. "Kind of...I think?"
Missouri came to the door. "Charlie, would you like to go play out back? There's a swing on the old oak in the corner if you like, and a little gazebo."
"Can I?" I asked Daddy.
"Sure," he nodded. I followed her through the kitchen and into a long yard that was mostly grass with lots of flowers and big bushes planted along the edges.
"Those bushes over there are butterfly bushes, but stay away from the flowers on the corner, they're the bee's favorite. They won't bother you long as you don't bother them."
I looked around. "This is what I saw," I said.
"Yes, this is my happy place, so I use it as my shield," she told me, "You run around and get some of your energy out, I know it's hard for a lil' one to stay cooped up in a car for so long," she smiled at me and went back inside.
I wandered around in the yard for a while looking at all the different types of flowers. Then I walked over to the swing. It was old-fashioned looking, made of wood, with thick ropes. I swung in the shade for a while, the creaking sound of the rope making me feel relaxed.
I heard the door open and sat forward, opening my eyes. Missouri had come outside, and she had a flat basket with her.
"You want to help me pick some flowers?" she asked.
I slowed the swing and got off. "Sure," I walked over to her, "What for?"
"Well, tomorrow is the anniversary of your grandmother's death. And your family wants to go and visit her grave. It's customary to bring a bouquet of fresh flowers to grave when you're visitin'. You can help me make a nice bouquet."
"Okay," I agreed.
She handed me a small pair of scissors. "Go ahead and cut what flowers you want, down at the bottom of the stem, like this," she leaned over and showed me with her own pair of scissors, "and then put the flowers in my basket." She laid the flower on its side on the flat part of the basket she had looped over her arm.
As we picked and cut flowers, she asked me questions, about when my mother had gotten sick, and different times that I had seen things, and what I had been doing when I had seen, and how I had felt when I had seen them. Then she asked me about the times that I had used to see Mary when I was little, and I told her about that.
"That's a very special thing, having that connection to her," she said, "I'm so glad that you were finally able to find Dean and come into his life. Now, you find a flower that you like, specifically for you, and cut a couple for yourself."
I found a pretty purple flower with thin petals.
"That's called a New England Aster," she told me, "We're going to use those in an exercise later, all right?"
"O-okay," I said.
"Let's go in and wash up, I can tell that the menfolk are gettin' hungry for supper."
I followed her into the kitchen. Grandpa John was standing at the stove, holding a spoon in one hand and a lid in the other. Missouri put her hand on her hip and raised her eyebrow, and Grandpa John put the lid on a large pot that was on the stove.
"I'm sorry, I just had to have a taste, it smells heavenly," he said with a sheepish grin.
"John Winchester, you're lucky you're so handsome, or I'd be taking my wooden spoon to your backside," she teased, "Those dimples of yours do me in. Go get your boys in here to eat, now."
Grandpa John went into the other room and I walked to the bathroom to wash my hands.
I sat and listened to them all talk about hunters that they knew and things that were happening in the area. I realized that this was where Daddy had lived until he was 4, and that maybe that was why he was so nervous. He didn't want to come back, because the night his mommy had died had been so terrible. I felt bad for him and Grandpa John- that must be why Grandpa John had been so quiet and sad over the past few days too. He would get a faraway look in his eyes every so often.
I ate mac and cheese, and then tried the red beans and rice, and I liked it. She had made it so that it wasn't spicy, but she said that you could spice it up depending on the type of sausage and spices you put in it.
After we ate, Missouri said, "Charlie, you come into the living room with me, and the men can clean up in here. Yes, John, you can take some jambalaya with you, Tupperware's in the cabinet to the left of the sink."
I followed her into the living room and sat down on the sofa. She lit several candles and then a little bundle of what looked like dried grass.
"This is a sage bundle," she said, "it's used to purify an area or your energy, it can get rid of negativity and help you relax."
She waved it in front of her and over her head, and then did it to me. It smelled a little bit musky and a little bit sweet. She took the bundle and laid it on its side in a large seashell, on a shelf in the corner, and then came to sit next to me.
She handed me the flowers I had picked. "Now, the first part of learning how to block things and protect yourself is concentrating. So what I want you to do is look at the flower, really look at it, and learn it, and then close your eyes and imagine it."
I held a flower up to my face and looked at it closely, then I closed my eyes.
"All right," she said after a minute, "Take my hand, and try to block what I'm sending you. Think about your flower."
I held her hand and closed my eyes, and I saw the butterfly bush out back.
I opened my eyes and let go.
"What did you see, child?"
"The butterfly bush in the back yard."
She nodded. "That's what I sent. Try again. Concentrate on the flower. Take a breath."
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes again, reaching for her hand. This time I saw the swing next to the tree.
I said, "The swing," I opened my eyes again and let go of her.
"All right, honey, don't get upset," she said gently, "Deep cleansing breath, like me, in through your nose and out through your mouth," I imitated her breathing for a couple of breaths.
"Now, look at the aster again for a minute," She sat quietly while I looked at it up close again, "Close your eyes now."
I closed my eyes, and felt her take my hand. I thought of the flower, how the middle was yellow and orange and the petals were so thin and delicate looking.
"What did you see, Charlie?" she asked after a moment.
I opened my eyes and looked at her. "The flower," I told her.
"I could feel you concentrating- you blocked me, child! Good job!" he smile was huge. "How are you feeling?"
"Tired," I said. I did feel tired all of a sudden.
"Learning to use and control your abilities is like using a whole new set of muscles, and you're going to get tired at first. I think this is a good stopping point."
She stood up and went to the doorway. "Winchesters, it's time to take this lil' girl and put her to bed," she called.
Grandpa John came into the room followed by Daddy and Uncle Sam.
"Well, I've got to tell you, Charlie is the youngest person I've ever worked with, and she's by far the quickest study. She's going to do wonderful with everything."
Grandpa John smiled, and Daddy looked relieved.
"Charlie's a really smart girl, I wouldn't expect anything less," Uncle Sam smiled at me.
Missouri gave Grandpa John a bouquet of the flowers we had picked, and a plastic bag with a container of jambalaya in it.
"I'll see y'all tomorrow, you come when you're ready," she said, hugging Grandpa John, "I'll be saying a prayer for her," she told him softly.
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The gravestone said simply, "Mary Winchester 1954-1983" and then below that, "In Loving Memory."
There was a tree nearby with a bench underneath it. Grandpa John walked slightly ahead of us, holding the bouquet from Missouri's and another bouquet he had bought, of yellow roses. We all stood in front of the gravestone for a moment, and Grandpa John handed me the bouquet I had helped pick.
"Go ahead and put that down," he told me.
"Where? Just—on the ground?"
He nodded, and I crouched down and place the bouquet in front of the stone. I took Daddy's hand and looked up at him. His face was red and he looked sad.
"Mary said that yellow roses were our rose, because we started out as friends," Grandpa John said, and his voice sounded hoarse. He leaned down and laid the bouquet of yellow roses next to the other one.
"I'd like- a minute-" he choked out.
Uncle Sam took my arm, and I followed him and Daddy over to the bench. Uncle Sam and I sat, and Daddy stood next to me. I took his hand again.
Grandpa John's shoulders began to shake and I saw his broad back hitch a couple times. He put his hand up to his face, and then he fell to his knees and covered his face with his hands. I started to cry a little bit.
Daddy dropped my hand and walked over to him, and put his hand on Grandpa John's right shoulder. Then he went down on one knee and put his arms around Grandpa John, and I saw Daddy's shoulders start to shake too. I could hear murmured talking, and it sounded like Grandpa John said, "I tried, I tried, but it was just—there was too much fire—I failed her, I've failed her all these years-" and then it sounded like Daddy was shushing him. I started to cry harder.
I looked up at Uncle Sam, and tears were running down his face. He sniffed, and looked at me, and then stood up, tugging on my hand.
"Come on," he said softly, and we walked over to them. He knelt down next to Grandpa John on the left and put his arm around him, and I went to the other side of Daddy. He put his arm around me and pulled me into his side, and I turned and put my arms around him. He was snuggled next to Grandpa John and I was able to put one of my arms around part of his chest too. Everyone was crying at that point, and we all stayed there on the ground, holding each other, until we were all cried out.