I tried not to cry or make noise. But soon I was crying so hard that I was sniffling because my nose was all plugged up. I heard Daddy and Uncle Sam chatting, in between my sniffles, and then I felt a hand touch my shoulder.

I turned my head and opened my eyes. Daddy was standing there, with a bottle of beer in his hand, looking down at me. "Charlie, what's wrong, why are you crying? Did you have another nightmare?"

I sat up and glared at him. "I'm crying 'cause of you!" I exclaimed, wiping my face with my hand, "'Cause I heard what you said! You want to give me up!"

Daddy looked shocked. "Uh—Charlie-that-that's not what I said-"

"Yes it is! You want to take away my abilities and then make me go live with a normal family, that's what you said!"

Uncle Sam came over and stood next to Daddy. "Honey, that's not what he-"

"Charlie, I didn't mean- I mean, I was just thinking out loud-" Daddy said weakly.

"If you didn't mean it then why did you say it?" I shrieked, feeling angry, "and you were thinking about it! You just said!"

Daddy leaned down and reached for me, and I batted his hand away. "No! You don't want me, you never wanted me, you just want to give me away to someone else and go on hunting because that's all you've ever done!" I screamed, tears pouring down my face now.

I shoved at him as he tried to hug me, and then I curled up in a ball on the sofa and hugged my pillow. I felt deeply hurt by what he had said, and it just brought back all the uncertainty I had felt when I had first started to live with him. He wasn't used to being a dad, he didn't know how to be one, and all he knew was hunting. Having a kid held him back from his job, from what he knew and loved to do. And now that my mommy was dead and my daddy didn't want me, I felt alone in the world. Completely and totally alone. I realized I was making a loud high-pitched whining sob, but I couldn't stop.

Footsteps pounded into the room, and Grandpa John stood at the end of the hallway, brandishing a long gold knife. He looked around, and then sighed. "Jesus, I thought there was a banshee in here! What the hell's going on?"

I sat up and grabbed my blanket. "Daddy doesn't want me, that's what's going on!" I glared at Daddy and ran out of the room, slamming the bedroom door and climbing up to the top bunk. I covered myself with my blankets and curled up in a ball.

In a couple of minutes there was a knock on the door.

"Charlie?" I heard Daddy's voice, sounding hesitant. I didn't come out from under the covers.

Footsteps came over to the bed, and then I heard him speak. "I'm so sorry I hurt you, that's the last thing I wanted to do. I've had too much to drink tonight, and I've been under a lot of stress...I know that doesn't excuse what I said."

I pushed the covers off of me and sat up, giving him a look. "Mommy said that the truth comes out when people are drunk!" I snapped, and I saw Daddy and Uncle Sam look at each other and do their 'talking without words'.

"I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean what I said, and I do want you, I'd...I'd never give you up," Daddy insisted.

I dropped my eyes, turning away and curling up in a ball again. I felt a hand on my back. "Charlie, please, can you answer me? Talk to me?"

"NO!" I shouted, moving away from his hand, "Leave me alone!"

He pulled on my arm. "Charlie-"

I turned back to him. "NO!" I shouted again, "I don't wanna talk to you! Don't talk to me! I wish I never met you! I wish my mommy was still alive! I wish—I wish I had died at the campsite with her!" my voice rose to a shriek and I started crying harder.

Daddy looked shocked. Uncle Sam and Grandpa John looked shocked and scared too.

"You—you can't mean-" Daddy started to say, but I cut him off, "Leave—me—ALONE!" I glared at him, and then pulled the covers back over my head.

I heard footsteps leaving and the door closing, and then a few minutes later there were loud voices, it sounded like arguing, coming from the living room. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but then the voices rose to shouting, and I heard the sound of glass shattering. The front door slammed very hard.

Nervous, I climbed down off of the bunk bed and ran to look out the window, which faced the side of the cabin, where the vehicles were parked. The outside motion sensor light had turned on, and Daddy was next to the car, pacing back and forth. I could see white puffs of breath coming out of his mouth in the cold air as he talked to himself. He stopped and kicked the front tire, then jerked the car door open and sat down. I saw him wipe his eyes, and then he slumped over the steering wheel.

I woke up when I heard the door open again. It was morning, and bright sunlight was coming in the windows of the bedroom.

I pushed the blankets off of my head and turned. Daddy and Uncle Sam stood next to the bed, looking at me.

Daddy had a sheepish look on his face. "How are you doing?" he asked softly.

"I'm terrible, thanks to you!" I snapped.

"Charlie, I made pancakes, come eat, and we can talk," Uncle Sam said.

"I don't want to talk, I have nothing to say," I said to Uncle Sam, "and I don't want to be around him," I shot Daddy a glare.

"Charlie, I'm sorry," Daddy's voice broke. "Please-"

"Come out to the living room-" Uncle Sam said.

"No, I'm not hungry, and I don't want to talk. Go away." I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him, ignoring Daddy.

"Charlie-" Daddy said hoarsely. I glanced over at him- he was crying! Tears were in his eyes, and a tear had tracked down the side of his face.

I hardened my heart, and turned away from them. If he didn't want me, I didn't want him either.

I heard Uncle Sam say, "Come on, Dean, let's give her some space," and then they left the room.

I woke up again when there was a knock on the door. Uncle Sam came into the room carrying a tray.

"It's lunch time," he told me, walking over to the bed. "Would you come down and sit on the bed here and talk to me?"

"Don't wanna talk," I sat up and crossed my arms.

"I think we need to talk about...things."

"I don't have anything to say," I lifted my chin stubbornly.

Uncle Sam sighed. "Fine. Will you come down and eat while I talk?"

"Not hungry."

Uncle Sam sighed again. "All right, I'll leave the tray on the bed here so you can eat if you get hungry later." He leaned down and put the tray on the end of Daddy's bed.

Then he came over and stood next to the bunkbed, looking me in the eyes. "I know you're upset and hurt," he said, "But you have to believe that what your Dad said...he didn't mean it. He would never give you up, and if he ever actually thought about it...well, Grandpa John and I wouldn't let him. We're a family, and we belong together. And we're all glad that you're part of it, honey."

Uncle Sam's face looked so earnest and worried, it made me get tears in my eyes.

"Then why...why'd he say that stuff?" I whispered.

Uncle Sam looked down for a moment. "I think...he's had a lot on his mind lately. He's been worried, things have changed quickly for him, and all of us, over the past couple of months, and it's all catching up with him. He's been more stressed than usual-"

"Because of me and all the stuff with my abilities," I said bitterly.

"Well...it's not your fault, none of this is anyone's fault, it's just...all of this is a lot to take in. I think we're all going through an adjustment period."

"But you didn't want to give me away! He did!" I pointed out.

"Charlie, he was just talking, he really didn't mean that. Both of us had always wanted a normal childhood when we were kids, but he hid that and just lived the life that our Dad put us in back then. And being with you has re-awakened those feelings in him, and so he's processing those feelings for the first time because he doesn't want his kid to have the same childhood he had."

"But I don't, Missouri said that I already don't. And I'm me anyways, not him."

Uncle Sam chuckled. "Yes, you certainly are you, Charlie. And you're one of a kind."

He reached over the bed railing and put his hand on my arm. "Are you sure you don't want to come down and talk? Or at least eat?"

I shook my head. If I was going to have to leave them I didn't want to spend any time with any of them any more, so that it wouldn't hurt as much.

"Well...I'll leave the food in here for you, and you can come out and talk to any one of us any time, okay?" He gave me a small smile, and then left.

I leaned over the bed railing and looked at the tray. It was a grilled cheese sandwich with a bowl of tomato soup and potato chips. My stomach rumbled a little bit, but I didn't eat. I laid back down in bed and stared at the ceiling and thought about things. Uncle Sam said he wouldn't let Daddy give me away, but it was Daddy's decision in the end. I didn't understand why Daddy had said those things if he didn't mean it. And anyway, maybe it would be better if I wasn't with him. When they went on hunts I was always scared and worried the whole time, that they wouldn't come back. What if they went on a hunt and got killed, what would I do then? Maybe I should ask the angel to get rid of my abilities and go to a normal family. I wouldn't have to worry about a normal family dying or getting hurt, or dealing with seeing unhappy things, or getting kidnapped by supernatural creatures.

I stood by Mommy's bedside in the hospital as the monitors that she was hooked up to all started to beep that same long beep, and doctors and nurses rushed in and pushed me out of the way. After a few minutes they stopped and one of them came over to me and said, "I'm sorry, she's gone." I started to cry, and someone put their arms around me. It was Daddy. He hugged me while I cried, and then I started to hear growling.

"Dean, watch out!" I heard Uncle Sam yell. Daddy let go of me and we turned, just in time to see a huge wolf-creature come bounding up and jump on Daddy. Uncle Sam and Grandpa John came running behind it, firing guns at it, but it didn't stop the monster. It bit Daddy's neck as he yelled, and then his eyes closed. Then it jumped on Uncle Sam, knocking him down and biting him too. I started to scream, "No! Noooo!"

"Charlie!" Grandpa John said loudly. Someone was shaking me. I opened my eyes and turned my head- he was on the end of the bunkbed, leaning forward and shaking my arm.

"What were you dreaming, darlin'?" he asked gently.

"E-everybody died or was g-g-gonna die," I heaved out.

"Come here," he gently pulled on me, but I leaned away from him.

"No," I moved my knees up in front of me and wrapped my arms around them, putting my head down.

I felt Grandpa John place his hand on the back of my head and rub it as I cried. "It was just a dream, you're safe now," he told me.

After a couple of minutes, my crying had stopped. I wiped my wet cheeks with my blanket and sat up, looking over at him.

"Are you okay? Can I—can I talk to you?" he asked.

"Don't care," I said dully.

"Listen, I know this has been rough for you...Missouri told me what you talked about. All of this, what you've been through, your abilities becoming stronger, trying to learn how to control them- it's all been difficult. Learning about the supernatural world and what's out there is tough too," he shifted on the bed.

"You know, your Dad found out pretty early on, but we hid it from Sam for a few years. When he found out, he was angry for a good long while. Angry at me, angry at your Dad. It was hard for him to accept too, but he did eventually. Another thing that makes it painful is that you've had a family member- pass- because of the supernatural, and that makes it harder to deal with too. It adds a level onto grieving that most people don't have. I know you're going through a lot right now, and I know that you're feeling hurt by what your Dad said...but he didn't mean it. He'd never mean to say or do anything to hurt you. He'd never really give you to someone else, and Sam and I would never let him do that either." He reached out and put his hand on my arm.

"None of us want to see you hurting, we just want to protect you and help you. All of us love you, Charlie, and we're all happy and grateful that you've come into our lives. None of us would ever change that for anything...I hope you can believe that. And I hope that eventually you can let go of that anger you're feeling. We love you, sweetheart, and we don't like to see you hurting," he squeezed my arm and then let go.

I looked at Grandpa John. I had felt like he hadn't like me to start with, but that wasn't true, he just hadn't known how to deal with having a grand-kid. He could be intimidating when he was mad, but he had always been protective of me and done things to take care of me.

"Can I live with you?" I asked quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"Can we go somewhere, and it just be me and you? And Daddy can keep hunting and doing what he wants."

He shifted again and looked down at his hands in his lap. "No, sweetheart, I'm a hunter too. And I'm...I'm hunting something specific, and I'm not... stopping until I get it. Your place is with your Dad. And we're all family, so we belong together. We'll make it work somehow."

I turned away, making my heart hard again. "Never mind then. Just go away."

"It's just about dinner time, I've got hamburgers made. Will you come and eat with us?"

I shook my head.

"Are you sure? Come on, Charlie."

I shook my head again.

He sighed. "We're here for you, when you're ready."

~ ~ spn ~ ~ spn ~ ~

I shivered in the cold. I had waited until it got dark and everyone had gone to bed, then I had dumped out the toys in my backpack and packed some clothes. I had arranged my pillows under the covers of the bed, grabbed the little flashlight by the door, and then snuck out. Daddy had been asleep on the sofa, with a mostly-empty bottle of alcohol on the coffee table in front of him.

It seemed like I had walked for hours and hours through the forest. There were sounds every once in a while, branches snapping or birds calling or crickets. In some places the trees were thick, in others there were a lot of vines and bushes. When it got to the point where my legs were hurting, I stopped at the next area where there were a lot of trees close together. When I shined the flashlight up, the branches looked like they overlapped with each other. I tried to climb one tree and couldn't get a good hand-hold or foot-hold, so I tried another tree. I was able to climb that one, it had strong branches close to the ground. I found a thick branch further up, and settled on it with my back against the trunk.

I pulled a small package out of my coat pocket- there had been a small pile of pancakes wrapped in plastic on the top shelf of the refrigerator, and I had taken it. I removed the plastic and ate the pancakes, swinging my feet a little.

The next thing I knew I felt like I was moving. I jerked awake, and realized I had fallen asleep in the tree, and then I must have lost my balance. I was falling out of the tree!

Suddenly there was a sound like the flapping of wings, and I landed right into arms that were covered in a tan raincoat.