Jack entered the house to find Rose sitting on the couch, engrossed in that morning's newspaper. It still felt rather surreal to see her there. Ever since his return to Chippewa Falls, he would have moments when he would stand in the entrance and let his mind wonder what if she had survived and they were together. Numerous times he had pictured her on that couch the way she was now, reading, singing, or doing something that she wanted to do. Now, here she was in the flesh, actually in his house, sitting on the couch reading. It was something that he had never thought would become reality. Shaking his head, he went to sit next to her and glanced over to find her looking at the society page.
"I thought all of that stuff was boring," He snorted
"Only the conversation. But it's quite fascinating when a new scandal pops up. Take the Winslows for example. Their daughter had just been sent to the country side to visit relatives," Rose didn't look away from the paper.
"So? Their daughter has gone on a trip to the country. She should have fun, right?"
Rose giggled. "Oh she would, if that was really where she was going and why. You see, that is code for their daughter is pregnant out of wedlock and they are sending her away to have the baby and she will return nine months later after she's given birth and proper arrangements have been made."
Jack just laughed, unable to believe the lengths that rich people went through to hide the truth and put on airs. "Wow, that's a lot to go through just to hide a pregnancy. If it was a poor person, say that Sarah that Jacob seems to have taken a shine to, the parents would just accept the situation, make the boy marry her, and if that didn't work, help raise the child. There would be no out of nowhere trips to the countryside for months on end."
"It's one of the reasons that I'm glad that I was able to escape first class when I found out about Jacob. I can just imagine mother's reaction if I was in Philadelphia," Rose sighed, closing the papers. "She'd have me packed up and living in Florida with my Aunt Gertrude, waiting to give birth and have my baby put up for adoption or given to some childless family."
Jack didn't like the thought of that either. Sure, he would have rather have raised Jacob himself, but he was grateful that the son he had with Rose was able to stay with her, even though to him, Caledon Hockley was his father.
"Did you two ever get on better terms after your return?"
Rose nodded with small smile. "Yes. Don't get me wrong, she was still Ruth Dewitt Bukater in all forms, but Jacob softened her some. Plus, I think she was more willing to forgive me once I had done what she wanted me to do all along. Marry Cal. We still had our moments, but all in all, we got along. Living in separate houses probably helped that situation as well."
"I'm glad that things turned out for you, Rose. You deserved happiness."
"I was for the most part. I still missed you, but for the most part, I was happy and I loved again. Cal had worked so hard to change...I just wish that he had changed enough to be able to storm the crash," She sighed and looked at her hands, the old grief raising up again. It came and went, sometimes out of the blue, she would think of Cal and what he would have thought of the situation. It was always hard, reminding herself that he was gone.
Looking at Jack, she remembered that night, when she had been so angry with him for dying and Cal had to comfort her. But now here Jack was and Cal was gone. Same scene, different players.
"You still miss him."
Rose nodded. She couldn't lie. She still missed Cal. They had been together for seventeen years and his love had healed her. She had believed his promise of never leaving her side. She had no clue that it was a promise that he wouldn't keep. That after all the changes he had gone through, he still loved money more than her. It made her both sad and angry.
"I'd be lying if I said that I didn't. He had changed so much and he taught me how to love again when I thought that there was no way that I ever could. I had loved him more than anything at that point. It's too bad that it wasn't the same for him."
"Rose...it probably was. He was just scared. He always had money. He never had to live without it. You know from experience how scary losing it can be," Jack placed a gentle hand over hers, wanting to give her some comfort and soothe away her ill feelings. It felt strange to do this for a man that he had hated for so long, but both Rose and Jacob had said that he was not that man anymore and he chose to believe them. Besides, this was more for Rose. It wasn't good to carry around such feelings. Anger like that can grow and fester and become something physically debilitating.
Rose looked at him, taken aback. How could she possibly know what that was like? She had never feared being without money! "Pardon me?"
"Not that you were afraid of being without, but you had felt the affects before. Your mother? Wasn't that the reason why she wanted you to marry Cal in the first place? To save yourselves from poverty?"
"Oh, yes. Our debts were covered by a good name and she felt that marrying me off to a wealthy man would save us. She didn't want to become a seamstress. But that wasn't what Cal was afraid of. He thought...he thought that he was going to be a burden. He seemed convinced that he would have been useless and a burden. He didn't see that by working together, we would have come out okay, somehow. That being left a widow was an even bigger burden than if he was still around."
"But you were still on his mind. Just him not wanting to burden you...he did love you Rose. Even more than the money. He just didn't know how to take care of the family you two made without the money and that fear...it had to have been overwhelming. From what I've read, a lot of the millionaires had done the same."
"Our love should have overcame that fear..."
"It's not always about love. In fact, sometimes that fear is born out of love."
"He left us alone, Jack! He was afraid? No, he was selfish! It's so hard for women with children out there! Yes, we got lucky but what if we hadn't? What if you really were gone? What if the house wasn't here? We could have easily ended up on the streets! No money, no home...life is different when you're homeless with children! Instead..."
"He was scared, Rose. Overwhelmingly scared."
"I was too. I was scared on Titanic, when it was sinking! I was scared when I couldn't wake you up and you were gone! I was constantly scared for four years as a unmarried mother! I was scared when I was forced to return home! And I was scared when he left us! When he left me with three children to look after by myself! But I didn't...I never thought to..."
"That because you're strong. You've always been strong. That was the first thing I had noticed about you on Titanic."
"That's just it! I'm so tired, Jack. I am so tired of having to be strong. I am so tired of having to pick up the pieces and move on some how...of having to take care of everything on my own just to make sure that I and the people I love survive...I just...don't want to be strong anymore...," to her embarrassment, hot tears streamed from her eyes, all the anger and pent up hurt and exhaustion finally spilling forth. She had forced it all back since Cal's death, but now, sitting next to her first love, it was finally all coming out.
Feeling her heartache, Jack wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. He stroked her hair with the other, trying to give her some comfort and reassurance. He hadn't meant to make her cry, but maybe it was good that she was. That she was finally letting it all go.
"It's okay, Rose. You don't have to be strong right now. You can finally rest. I'm here now and I'll make sure everything stays okay with the twins and with Jacob. You just rest as much as you need to and not worry."
"You don't have to..."
"I want to. I want to do this for you. I want to help."
She looked up to meet his eyes and saw only warmth and compassion there. There was also something else, but she was reluctant to put a name to it, because it had been too long. Surely, he couldn't feel the same, not after all these years.
"Thank you..."
"There's no need to thank me. Just know that you don't always have to be the strong one anymore. You can lean on me at anytime. No strings attached."
Sitting there, gazing into her eyes, Jack meant every word. He wanted to be there for Rose. Help her carry the load that she had carried herself for far too long, and he didn't expect anything back. Not her love, not money, maybe her friendship but that was all. He also became sure of something else as he held her in his arms and let himself drown in those beautiful eyes that held so much strength and emotion and fire. He had the answer to Jacob's question from that morning. He had known the answer all along. He still loved her, maybe even more than he did back on Titanic. How could he not adore this woman that had been through so much and came through it flawlessly. He'd do anything for her, even give his own life once again.
Rose felt herself getting lost in his gaze as well. She felt her insides melt as she thought of how she never though to see those eyes again. So beautifully blue and warm. She knew that he meant everything he said. He was here for her and always would be. She was also sure of something else. After all these years, even after moving on, she had never fully gotten over Jack Dawson and those feelings were quickly reigniting. In his eyes, she saw the life that they could have had if they had never been separated. All she had to do was reach out and grab it. What would he do if she did? Would he turn her away? What if he did? What if he didn't?
The pull between them was back and neither had the energy to resist and their faces moved closer and closer until their lips were lightly pressed together in a chaste kiss that was almost hesitant, yet wasn't.
Rose closed her eyes. The memory of his kiss did not do him justice. His lips were warmer and gentler than she remembered. They sent a sensation through her that she hadn't felt in the longest time and she wanted more, but before she could deepen the kiss, he pulled away.
"Jack," She barely breathed, afraid to say anything that would break the moment.
"Rose...I...," He didn't know what to say after a kiss that had deepened the feelings that he already had and the longing that he already felt for her. He didn't want to push her, yet he needed her in his life.
"What does this mean?" She was afraid of his answer, but she needed to know. Was Olivia right? Looking into his eyes, she knew that her daughter was.
He wanted to declare his love for her right then and there, but something held him back. Fear. Reluctance to push her into something she wasn't ready for. But he couldn't lie. He couldn't pretend that it didn't mean anything. "It means whatever you want it to mean."
"I don't know what I want it to mean...I...I need to think."
"Okay."
Rose frowned. "Is that all you have to say?"
"Rose, what can I say? I'd be lying if I said that I didn't love you. I do, but...I need you to want it too. I need you to be ready. So it's up to you. We can remain friends...or we can be something more. I put our fate in your hands because that's where it has to be. I'll be alright with whatever you decide, I promise."
He was almost unreal to her. How could he be so understanding to her wants like this? He had changed so much from the Jack she had known, yet he was still the same man she had fallen in love with all those years ago. He should have her love right there and then. There should be no question, but there had to be, because it wasn't just her, not anymore. Jacob was grown, but she still had her twins to think about.
"It'll have to be something more serious than Titanic...more permanent and steady...we can't be crazy like we were before."
He couldn't help but be amused. "I know," He chuckled.
"There are the twins to think about and Jacob too..."
"I am aware of that too."
"I just...needed to explain why it's not an immediate decision. Why I have to think about this."
"I am aware of that, Rose. Things aren't like how they were before. We're adults now, with responsibilities. I understand."
"I do love you. I don't think that I had ever stopped. I grieved for you for so long...and now you're here and we have a second chance...I just want to make sure that everything is in order and that everyone is okay. I don't want anymore obstacles. No Lovejoys, no money hungry mothers...I'm just too old to deal with that now," she gave a sad chuckle.
"So am I to be honest. I agree. I want things to be...easier if not easy. I'll wait while you make your decision and do what you have to do. I won't pressure you...and if friends is all we can be, that's fine too."
Rose smiled, thankful for his understanding and patience. She knew that not all men would be, given their history and present situation. Most men would be expecting her to fall into their arms right away, professing her love and devotion, her other responsibilities be damned. But not Jack. He understood and she still had his support and offer of friendship.
"Can you just hold me, for now? Just for a little while?"
He tightened his embrace and pulled her closer, willing to give whatever she needed. "Of course. Just relax. Don't worry about a thing."
She felt herself relax in his arms and for the first time in a while, felt totally at peace. Did she love Jack? Yes. Did she trust him? Yes. Did she think that they could have a future together? That was one question she didn't know, but right there in his arms, she felt like the answer could be a possible yes.
Neither of them noticed Maxwell at the top of the stares, his face emotionless, but the feelings he held inside in turmoil. He wanted his mother happy, but did it have to be with someone who wasn't his father? Sighing, he went back to his room, not sure how to feel about any of this.