We Need the Room
Cyrus was rambling on and on about how boys will be boys. His voice sounded muffled. Distant. Like he was in a tunnel or underwater. Fitz caught every third or fourth word. He was staring at the blue rug on the floor as his mind went into overdrive at what had transpired in this room fifteen minutes ago and how he was going to tell Liv.
How could he have been so stupid?
The answer to that question was obvious. It had been far too long since he and Olivia had spent time together like that and they had gotten caught up in the passionate moment to have the sense to stop long enough for him to roll on a condom. He let out a frustrated sound, and a moment later he heard Cyrus' muffled voice stop talking.
Fitz cleared his throat and sat back on the sofa he'd just had Olivia on. He brought a finger to his lips in deep thought before forcing himself to pay attention to the conversation he was supposed to be contributing to. The moment he caught Olivia's gaze she narrowed her eyes at him in concern.
Sitting calmly in her plush chair, the president of the United States kept her eyes on her fixer and said, "we need the room."
Cyrus kept talking as if she had never uttered a word.
In a much bolder voice, and with more authority, Olivia looked at Cyrus and said, "We need the room please, Cyrus."
"Excuse me?" he asked with confusion.
Olivia got to her feet, which immediately prompted both men to get to theirs. "We need the room. Now."
Cyrus cut his eyes to the other man in the room and then back to his boss. He had words on the tip of his tongue. Plenty of them. But the president had spoken, and he was not one to question her. Not now anyway. He'd find out what had been said sooner or later. He always did because it was his job to know. He wordlessly went to the door and left the room.
"What's going on?" Fitz asked.
"You tell me." she shot back.
"What do you mean?" he asked with a crinkled brow.
"Fitz, I know you. Your head isn't in the conversation." Olivia touched his arm. "Something's on your mind."
He needed to tell her what was weighing so heavily on his mind. He knew it would weigh heavy on her mind once he told her and that reason alone had him holding back. He began to pace right there in the Oval Office. "Something is on my mind. I'm just..."
She stood in his path and gave him a smile. "We can reschedule." She got up on her tip toes and put her arms around his neck. "It will give us another opportunity to be together under the guise of a meeting. If this afternoon was any indication of how badly we needed to see each other..."
"Liv." Fitz broke in. "We need to talk."
"Uh oh. That's never a good thing." She fell back onto her heels and studied his face. Gesturing to the seating area the two of them sat down as he got his thoughts together. Whatever was on his mind was serious.
"Look, I don't know how to tell you this without coming right out and saying it."
It was her worst fear made a reality. She swallowed the lump in her throat. "You've met someone."
Fitz's head jerked back in response. "What? No!" he replied forcefully. He reached for her hands and held them in his while maintaining eye contact with her. He slowly shook his head back and forth and in a gentler tone said, "no. When we were together earlier I..." He dropped her hands, got to his feet, and began to pace on the blue rug he had been staring a hole into earlier.
Olivia squinted up at him. Whatever he needed to say was really serious. Serious enough that he didn't know how to tell her. Now she really wanted to know what it was. Once again, she stood in his path. "Take a breath, and just tell me. Whatever it is we will figure it out, okay?"
He led her back to where they had just been sitting and both of them sat down once again. He inhaled deeply and expelled the breath, feeling a little better. "When we were together earlier; I didn't stop to put on a condom." He watched her face and waited for her reaction.
She looked at Fitz and let his words sink in. Her mind automatically took her back to the thoughts she'd had with a newborn and Fitz by her side. It had seemed so real. Felt real as well. And now he was sitting across from her telling her that it had the possibility of becoming a reality. She decided to share it with him.
"I had a daydream the other night while I was looking out the window at the snow. You were in it."
"Really? What was I doing in this daydream of yours?" he asked. He had a pretty good idea.
"You were sitting in a hospital room with me and we were looking down in complete wonder of our newborn daughter."
That was not the reaction Fitz was expecting from her. This time he didn't interrupt her. He wasn't even breathing. He was too busy trying to picture the scene as Liv described it to him. His heart ached with longing for her dream to become a reality.
"You were head over heels in love with her."
Her voice broke through his thoughts.
"Every little sound she made, had you wrapped more tightly around her perfect little finger." Olivia informed him with a slight shake of her head.
"Why do you think you were thinking about the two of us having a baby together?"
She decided to be honest with Fitz, but she needed to put some space between them when she told him the reason. She got her feet and went to stand on top of the eagle in the center of the rug on the floor, hoping it would lend her strength to have this conversation with him. "Because I told Will I wanted a baby."
"I don't under..."
"He said no." Olivia replied flatly. "Well, he said not right now. But that's the same thing as saying no, isn't it?"
"Doesn't he realize that a baby would be a good thing? For your marriage and your presidency?" He hated himself for sliding into fixer mode so easily. The last thing he wanted was to watch her and Will have a child together. It would kill him. But it would keep Will on a short leash, and after his admission at the firm earlier that day, he needed to be kept on one. He caught her eye and saw a hint of sadness in them. "I'm sorry. Please continue."
"I've wanted a baby for a very long time. I can remember being a little girl and putting a throw pillow from the sofa underneath my dress, as if I were pregnant like my friend's mother."
Fitz watched her hand and eyes go to her stomach and stay there.
"I think there is something in some little girls that makes them yearn to be a mommy and raise babies. But when Will turned me down again, my thoughts went to you." She lifted her head and gave a small shrug of her shoulders. "What were you like as a boy?"
"What?" Fitz's eyes left her flat stomach and flew up to her face. "Why?"
"Because I conjured up my own thoughts about what kind of young boy you were. Probably to know better what our child would be a little like. I thought I'd ask you to see how far off the mark I was." She smiled at him. "Tell me."
He gave her a sad smile and went to stand in front of her. He wasn't a fan of the space between them and needed to have her close again.. He took her hand and led her to the sofa they had expelled some energy on earlier. His arm came around her and Olivia nestled into his side. She kicked off her heels and tucked them underneath her body to get even closer. Fitz thought back to when he was a kid. "I was nothing special. Too tall and too thin. I looked like a stick." he chuckled. "My mother swore I would never stop growing. You know how most families pick a doorway in the house and mark the heights of their children to show how tall they've gotten over the years?"
"Of course" Olivia replied.
"My mother stopped doing it when I was ten. She said there were two problems with us doing that. One, we would run out of doorway to mark before I became a teenager."
Olivia giggled and covered her mouth with her hand.
"And two, I would get too tall for her to be able to reach the top of my head to mark the doorway." He smiled as he thought of his mother. It had been a while since he had thought about her. Talking about her to Olivia felt natural and normal. He wished Liv could have met her. The two of them would have bonded instantly, and he would have enjoyed knowing the two women who meant the most to him were close. He cleared his throat and continued.
"I was a sharp dresser though. It's probably why I love wearing a suit every day."
"Please tell me about that." she said, encouraging him with a grin.
"I wore lots of polo shirts. Stripes were my favorite, but I'd wear the solid colored ones too. Also, the ones with..."
Olivia was laughing quietly, but it quickly grew louder as Fitz described the attire of his youth.
"What's so funny?" He asked with a grin and poked a finger into her ribs.
"Stop it!" she shrieked. When Olivia had herself under control again, she turned her head and looked up into his crystal blue eyes. "That is exactly how I pictured you to be as a kid. It's nice to know that I was right about it."
She got up on her knees and cupped his cheeks in her hands. "And for the record, don't you ever say that you were nothing special. You turned out to be an amazing man, inside and out." She leaned close and gently touched their lips together for a soft gentle kiss. "I wish I could have met your mom."
He was over the moon in love with her. Their situation wasn't an ideal one, but who's was? It also didn't stop the enormous amount of love he felt for her. Fitz rested his forehead against hers and said, "she would have loved you, Liv. I know she would have. And...I can easily imagine the two of you ganging up together to pick on me."
"Awww, poor baby." And just like that, she was consumed with thoughts about the possibility of being pregnant with his child again.
The room was filled with an awkward silence for a long minute. Fitz removed his arm from around her and turned to face Olivia. With a serious expression he said, "Liv, I need to tell you something. Something that's going to be difficult for you to hear, but you need to hear it anyways."
"There's more? What is it?" she asked wearily.
"You need to know that I am not sharing this information with you for any reason other than I think you should know it. It may seem like I am using it for personal gain but believe me when I say I'm not."
Olivia pulled herself from the cozy spot on his side that she had just been so content in and looked up at him. "I know you. Really know you, Fitz. And I know you wouldn't do that to me. Tell me what it is."
"There's no easy way to tell you this information, so again, I'm just going to say it." He saw her nod and took a deep breath. "Will came to my office earlier this afternoon. He made an appointment to speak to me and Huck."
Her eyebrows dropped in confusion. "You two aren't exactly chummy. Did he go see you for a friendly visit or because he needed a fixer for something?"
This was going to be so hard. To tell her and to watch her process it. "The latter, I'm afraid."
"But I don't know of anything he would need to have taken care of. What was it?" She felt him stiffen and added, "don't even think about getting up to pace."
"He came to see me because of a delicate matter. Will has found himself in a difficult situation that needs to be dealt with very discreetly and..."
"Fitz!" Olivia said his name in an impatient tone. "I don't need to be mansplained to. Whatever he's gotten himself into, I can handle it. Just tell me."
"Will has been sleeping around behind your back."
"Will has been what?" Her eyes went wide and she immediately got to her feet. "Who is the woman? Is it someone in the White House? Oh my god, please don't let it be anyone at the White House."
"There have been numerous women, Olivia. I don't think any of them worked here, although I wouldn't put it past him." He hated being the one to tell her all of this. Her jackass of a cheating husband should be telling her himself. Fitz could see the hurt written all over her face and it killed him to know it was the result of the words he was telling her. "He said it started on the campaign trail, but it may go back even further than that. Huck is looking into it."
"The campaign trail?! That asshole!" Olivia shouted and got to her feet. "Why would he do this to me? He's making history almost as much as I am. The nation has never had a First Gentleman. Why would he put that and his name in jeopardy and be forever remembered as a lying cheating bastard?"
"Liv."
"If he thinks for one minute that he's going to continue to live here..."
"Liv." Fitz repeated.
"...he's got another thing coming. I am NOT going to put up with that shit. Not from him! As far as I'm concerned, he can pack his bags and get the hell out of here! Tonight!"
Fitz stood in front of her and gently held onto her forearms. "Hey. You're pissed off, and I understand that but..."
Her wild brown eyes flicked up to his blue ones and narrowed. "I don't understand. If he's been having affairs with lots of women for years, why does he suddenly need..."
Fitz watched as the realization of the situation came across Olivia's face. She crumpled onto the sofa beside him. "Oh my god. One of them is pregnant, isn't she?"
"I'm afraid so."
She turned her head in his direction with wide eyes. "What did he want you to do? Make the girl get rid of the baby? Or get her to sign a non-disclosure and get rid of the girl?"
"He'd rather the baby be taken care of, but that was absolutely plan B if the mother didn't go along with that."
"How much did he want you to offer her to have an abortion?" Olivia asked. She could taste the bile in her mouth knowing her husband had been cheating on her. It was only made worse to know he had gotten a stranger pregnant so easily while making it so difficult for his wife to achieve the same goal. In this moment, she was beyond relieved that he hadn't been interested in fathering a child with her. The thought of bringing a child into the world and not knowing that her husband had such a busy side life was nauseating.
"Three million dollars." Fitz replied quietly.
"Are you fucking kidding? Three million dollars is the price of a life? I can't...I don't even know how to respond to that! This kind of thing doesn't happen every day."
Fitz rubbed her back in a soothing pattern. He felt terrible for dropping such a big bomb on her. He knew it was a lot to deal with, and that the ripple effects of it would extend for days, months, and maybe even years to come. He planned to be there for her however he could. "I'm so sorry, Liv. I didn't want to tell you, but I felt like you had every right to know the truth about him."
"I'm glad you told me. I just..." she sighed heavily.
"You just what?" he asked.
Olivia closed her eyes and curled up into his side once more. She felt betrayed and wounded and that nothing would ever be right in her life again. She felt Fitz's arms come around her, holding her close and she let him hold her. The tears were close. As much as she didn't want to waste a single tear on Will, she knew they were coming. She had to voice her question before they crashed through like a ton of bricks. In a wobbly voice she asked, "I just want to know why he didn't want to have a baby with me?"
The last two words were a whisper before her body was overcome with the emotions she had kept so well at bay during their conversation. Fitz held her even closer and gently laid his cheek on top of her head. Will Swann was a fucking imbecile, who didn't deserve Olivia. "I can't pretend to know the answer to that, Livvie, but I'm here for you. Whatever you need."
She cried for a good long while and Fitz held her the entire time. He knew she wouldn't want soothing words of encouragement or comfort. When she got herself together again, she would want vengeance. She would put together a plan for Will and she would expect it to be carried out. Formidable Olivia Pope was a fearsome thing to behold, in Fitz's opinion.
After she was all cried out, knowing it would be the last time she shed tears over her husband, Olivia got to her feet, followed by Fitz, and opened the door to the bathroom inside of her office. She splashed a little cold water on her face and wiped it dry, doing her best not to make more of a mess of her make-up than she already had. She looked at herself in the mirror and felt some of the steel return inside of her. She was going to make him pay. For what he had done to her, for constantly putting her off from having her own children, and for wasting so much of her life on him. A plan was beginning to take root in her head.
Coming back into the Oval, Liv swiped her index finger underneath her right eye. She went to the decanter and poured a small splash of scotch into two glasses. One glass was handed to Fitz as she stood in front of him with the other glass in her hand. She threw her head back and emptied her glass. The fire in her belly from the alcohol felt good. The determination that was building inside of her also felt good. "I'm going to divorce him."
"What do you need me to do?"
"I want all of the information on Will that you can find. Every dirty secret, every affair, every woman's name, every hotel, and town where he slept with them. Hell, I want to know what room number they were in. And when I have everything there is to possibly know about my husband," she spat out the last two words. "then I'm going to confront him with every fact and detail. And I'm going to put him out of the White House on his ass and divorce him! The world may never know the truth about him, at least not until years from now when I write a book about my life in the White House, but I will."
"And he will go along with this plan peacefully because you will hold all the power."
"Exactly." Olivia stated confidently.
Olivia's plan was a good one. Will would have no wiggle room to maneuver his way back into Olivia's life. There would be no more First Gentleman. No more press. No more women or surprise pregnancies to hide from his wife. Huck would dig until he had every detail on every rendezvous Will had ever had while married to Olivia. There was just one more detail that needed to be dealt with.
"What if you become pregnant as a result of this afternoon?"
She had been so wrapped up in what Will had done to her, that she had almost forgotten how this conversation had even began. She thought about it for quite some time before she took a seat next to Fitz once again. "If my daydream becomes a reality, I'll be the happiest woman in the world. The other day when I was thinking about what life would be like to have a baby with you, it wasn't the first time I've entertained that thought."
"It wasn't?" he asked with surprise.
She smiled at him. "No. I know I shouldn't think about such things, and wish them into reality, especially since we are sitting here discussing my husband's infidelities. There is a difference between us though. A big one. Will doesn't love any of the women he is sleeping with."
He wondered if that was true. "How could you know that?"
"Because William Swann doesn't love anyone near as much as he loves himself. And I love you, Fitz. This thing between us, it isn't just sex. We love each other." she explained.
"I know that I shouldn't, but I do. I love you, Liv. With my whole heart."
"And that's why if I end up pregnant with your child, I'm going to keep it. And love it. And raise him or her to be a good person. Someone who is intelligent and brave and loving and kind and considerate and..." The air was sucked from her lungs as Fitz crushed his lips against hers in a fevered hungry kiss. All Olivia could do was hold on and try to keep up with him.
Fitz pulled away from her mouth as quickly as he attacked it. They didn't have time to go another round, as much as he would love to. They had important things to discuss. "We can do this together. It's going to take some time to get rid of Will. I'll make sure Huck makes this top priority, but it's going to take time to compile all of the information that you want, to quietly draw up the divorce papers, and to confront Will with all of it. Until then, you are going to have to act like nothing has changed."
"Fitz, I don't think that I..."
"Yes, you can! You have to, Liv. Will can't so much as suspect that you are up to anything against him. The plan hinges on you having the element of surprise. In order to maintain that, you're going to have to continue living life just as you have been."
"I can't lay in a bed beside him, Fitz. The thought of it is making my skin crawl!" Olivia rubbed her hands up and down on her arms.
"You're the president, Liv. You have important meetings to attend all the time. Get creative with your schedule so you don't have to spend time sleeping beside him at night. You've got that big banquet you're planning coming up just around the corner." He took a step back from her and added, "speaking of the banquet."
"Don't you dare tell me you're not planning to attend." Olivia warned.
"I'm going to be there. I...uhhh...I'm bringing someone with me." he stammered.
"A date?" she inquired with a look.
He grinned and kissed her nose. "You're cute when you're jealous."
"Don't change the subject, Fitzgerald."
"You sounded just like my mother." he said, finding humor in the situation. "Miranda is most definitely not my date. She's my plus one for the party. It's a long story, and one I'll be more than glad to explain to you another time, but I wanted you to know so you weren't caught off guard when you saw us walk in together."
"Are you going to be able to break away from Miranda long enough to dance with me?" Olivia asked with an exaggerated eye roll.
He held her hand and plainly told her, "I would move mountains to be with you."
Olivia opened her mouth to say something, but Fitz pulled her into his arms, quickly silencing her.
"You have nothing to worry about. You are the only woman for me. I'm going to need for you to find some place where we can spend a few minutes together at your party." He clenched his jaw as his eyes roamed her beautiful face. "I know that once I see you, I'm going to want to touch you or kiss you."
"I'll find a quiet spot where you will be free to do those things." she replied in a sultry voice. It was ridiculous that she wanted him all over again. The fact that he could take her to a low place and set her back on top of the world and make her feel like she was priceless treasure to him was a wonder to her. It was just another reason why she loved him so much.
Instead of giving in to those feelings, she took a step back away from him. It was time to go back to being president. "We've had the room for far too long. Cyrus is probably standing outside my office with a glass between his ear and the door," she chuckled.
Fitz adjusted his tie at his neck, buttoned his suit jacket, and headed for the door. "You're probably right. I'll get Huck busy working on what you requested. If you need me for anything, anything at all, you know how to reach me. Don't try to handle everything yourself. I'm here to help. Remember that. And pick one of the dozens of bedrooms in this house and get some damned sleep please."
"I will. I promise."
Before Fitz got to the door, it opened and in stepped a smiling Will. He took in the sight of the two of them alone and froze in fear that Fitz had told his wife about what they had discussed in his office earlier that day.
"Will, good to see you. It's been too long!" Fitz said, extending his right arm and smiling at the asshole.
The breath he had been holding in whooshed out and Will tried to cover it with a laugh. He was as safe as a kitten. "It certainly has! How have you been, Fitz?"
Olivia plastered on a huge smile and came to stand beside Will. She put her arm around his waist while her stomach churned when he kissed her on the temple.
Fitz watched the whole scene play out and applauded Olivia for acting natural. He knew she was squirming in her skin having to touch him, but she kept her outward appearance a happy one. "I've been great. I hear you have a big birthday coming up."
Will knew a dig when he heard one and Fitz had just made one at his expense. He knew how to play nice when it was necessary. And since he figured Fitz hadn't told Ollie diddly about his little problem, he could let it go. "That's right. I'll be turning forty-five very soon."
"Actually, that's why Fitz came by. To help with the logistics of your birthday party."
Her husband's head snapped in her direction and his eyebrows fell. "What birthday party?
"It was supposed to be a surprise, but the banquet I'm hosting here in a few weeks is in fact a surprise birthday party for you. I know how you hate surprises, and that's why I'm telling you now."
"Awww, honey. I'm glad you told me about it beforehand. That's so sweet of you to throw me a birthday party." He roughly pulled her into his arms kissed her on the mouth.
Fitz never wanted to kick his ass more than he did in that moment.
Olivia wanted the floor to open up and make her disappear. She wiped her lips and avoided eye contact with Fitz. Somehow, she pulled it together enough to tell Will, "You have to promise to act surprised when the cake comes out."
"Of course, darling. Anything for you." He patted her ass before leaving her side to go fix himself a drink.
She felt unwanted tears forming, and she looked up at Fitz. He wore a determined look and discreetly shook his head back and forth before softening and dropping his gaze to her stomach. That did the trick. Her own determination returned in full force. Her hand went to her belly and she gave a curt nod.
"I've got to get to another meeting, but it was good to see you again, Will. I'll see you both at the party." Fitz said.
Will almost told Fitz he was looking forward to seeing him and Miranda again, but caught himself at the last moment. That would have brought up a thousand questions from Olivia and destroyed the pretense he had going with his fixer of not having seen each other in a while. "Have a good evening, Fitz. Don't let it be so long next time." Yea, that sounded good. He downed his drink and happily poured himself another.