The lavish lusts of Magnolia's most esteemed brothel, Fairy Tail, is the highlight of today's news, as our local futanari anthropologist grants us close access to their philosophies towards sex, prostitution, and pleasure. With permission from the guild's founder and headmaster, Mavis Vermillion (who herself declined to participate), the interviews conducted with five of Fairy Tail's most popular servers will be published below. We thank all of our readers and ask that on behalf of Fairy Tail that you please pay them a visit, with special emphasis on the word "pay."

Interview with Lucy Heartfilia

What inspired you to seek prostitution as a profession?

I love sex. Plain and simple. When I was a girl I was surrounded by my mother's servants, and all of them were permitted to put themselves out for me. I had more sex when I was nine than most women will have in their entire lives.

So your love of sex stems from your upbringing?

Yes. My mother was a very, shall you say, hands on type of person. She wanted the absolute best for me, so I was allowed to do virtually anything I wanted to her maids.

Why give up your home life then if you had servants who would fulfill your every sexual need?

One day I saw a magazine that featured Fairy Tail and wanted to visit it. One gets bored of the same women every day, even if they number in the hundreds and are all delectable. So I got my servants to escort me there and I paid for three girls at once. They were the girls I saw in the magazine, my friends Mirajane, Erza and Cana. I paid for a whole day's worth of fucking, and they were so impressed with my performance that they asked me to join.

Most girls can't fuck for more than two hours straight. We went at least eight before we paused for some water, then another five before I needed to leave. It was my first time meeting other women who could match my stamina and libido. All of my maids would take turns when I needed service. I thought the Fairy Tail prostitutes were incredible after that day.

So you joined because they were like you?

Yes, that's a big reason. Those ladies are true whores like me. They don't believe in anything but sex. We only work as a formality for money, but once the curtains close we go to town on each other till morning. That's what it means to be a prostitute in both mind and body. You must take sex as your life partner.

Let's talk about your personality. Is it true you've often gotten in trouble for streaking around the city?

I don't like clothes. I never wore them growing up because I was always having sex. For a while my maids tried to get me to dress again, but I kept getting my clothes dirty with cum and stuff so they gave up.

All women should be naked instead of erecting these barriers of cotton. The only way we'll ever reach nirvana is if we strip so we can fuck.

You're wearing clothes right now, but even they are quite risqué. (To describe Lucy's attire, she wore a low rise tank top that barely covered her large breasts, her nipples slightly poking through. For bottoms she went with a thin pair of shorts which she left unzipped throughout the entire interview. Frequently she would rub the bulge in those shorts.)

Once again, I hate clothes, but I've come to appreciate a certain quality about them. For some reason concealing your goods makes girls want them more. They offer an abstraction, and people are desperate to understand things they can't see and don't understand. I take any woman I want, so I don't really think like that, but most women are more conservative than me I suppose.

I've also learned about how clothes can complement my body. I'm quite hot. I've fucked myself numerous times so I know. You are what you wear, and something skimpy like this tells you that I am a whore who wants her body to be front and center. I could more easily accomplish this by walking around in the nude, but that's apparently illegal here. But then again apart of being a prostitute is stripping, so wearing clothes with the knowledge that they exist to be removed is an attractive prospect in and of itself.

Are there any outfits you especially like?

Anything that lets my cock bulge out of it is ideal. My cock is incredible, so he needs to be the star atop the tree. Plus, everybody loves a nice bulge.

I also really like anything that leaves my ass crack and my thighs out so you can get a good sense of my curves, and my top needs to be loose so my boobs can breath. I gotta be as naked as I can without actually being naked, ya know, so every outfit must put on its own show.

Does other women looking at you sexually act as a turn on?

It neither turns me on or turns me off. It's natural to be looked at just as it is natural to look at others. I exist to fuck sexy girls; girls whose bodies could conquer entire continents they're so nice. Likewise, I exist to be fucked, because, like them, I am a futanari. A really hot one at that. If I didn't let other people see my body, I would be robbing others of something vital.

Do you ever get tired of looking at beautiful women?

No. It's because I love beautiful women that I can love myself. I'm a bit of a narcissist, I admit.

Do you have a favorite type of girl?

Not really. Anyone who looks nice will have me. The personality is incidental, though I do like them a little unstable.

Rumor is that two other Fairy Tail members treat you as their master. Do you like domination and power play?

Like I said before, I have no preferences when it comes to women. That those two have a button in their brains that tells them to follow the biggest cock is just something I roll with because they're really hot and kinky. If I was looking for some bitches to own, I would've stuck with my maids, but instead I came here so I could take every single type of woman that exists in the world. Kink is as much an individualist's wet dream as it is a social exchange. You must acclimate to your lovers if they are to perform at their absolute best.

Speaking of your cock, it truly is the biggest in Magnolia. How did it get so big?

I must thank my mom for that. She's a real battleship herself, but more importantly she's a purist. She knocked up her mom just as her mom knocked up her grandma. In keeping our bloodline pure and having sex constantly every day, we've produced a lineage of goddesses. And yes, I do consider myself a goddess. I can quite literally bring most women to their knees with my cock. I've even impregnated over a thousand women, and in a few more years I'll start breeding my offspring. If we're lucky the next generation will see an increase in the average size of erections.

So you're the product of mother-daughter incest?

Yeah. Pretty hot, don't you think?

Yes, very. Does this mean you plan on impregnating your mother in the future?

I've already had three babies with Layla. A fourth is on the way. She really spoiled me as a kid, so I spoiled her the best way I knew how.

Many futanari have an impregnating fetish. Would you consider yourself one of them?

I mean, I only knock girls up when they really want to, or when they aren't using any magic contraceptives. It does excite me knowing my seed is scattered all over the place, though, because then in a few years I'll get to fuck my daughters.

According to Mirajane, who we previously interviewed (see page 13), you are responsible for her current relationship with her sister Lisanna. Are you attracted to incest? And if yes would you say it is due to your own heritage?

I absolutely love incest. I wish I had sisters to fuck growing up. I'm really envious of Mirajane and Lisanna for that reason.

I don't know if it's because I'm a product of incest or what, but I just know seeing two relatives bang is hot. Maybe it's due to my narcissism, but I like the idea of another you existing in a different form. That's how it is with Layla. I'm turned on both by our similarities and our differences. You don't necessarily have that kind of pretext with a woman outside your family. You just look at her as a hot piece of ass and fuck her like the bitch she is.

Would you say you are turned on by the taboo nature of incest?

For me it's just natural you'd wanna fuck someone with a nice body, even if that person is your relative. I didn't even know it was considered taboo until I moved here, and even then a lot of the girls I've met tend to also think it's kinky.

I'd honestly it rather not be a taboo. I've lost out on way too many orgies because girls were too stubborn to do it with their sisters and mommies. Usually they'll do it once they submit to my cock, but occasionally there's those girls who just can't get with the times.

Going back to your cock, we've had a lot of people ask if you ever jerk off?

I absentmindedly stroke it whenever there's no immediate hole to plug, but other than that, no. I've never had a reason to jerk off by myself because I've always had other girls do it for me.

You're also contracted for urethral sex a lot thanks to its size.

I've been letting my maids fuck my cock hole since it first started growing. It's honestly the quickest way of pleasure it directly. I'm surprised more women don't do it, but understandably you can only do it with girls who have smaller penises, so I'm lucky in that regard.

How do you believe the size of your cock has affected who you are as a person?

A woman is defined by her penis. My cock is me. I think of my brain as being nothing but a servant to its whims. When I get an erection, it quite literally turns the rest of body into a penis. It's that sensitive.

I'd still be a whore even if it was smaller, but its girth does increase my sex drive. It also makes sex way easier to come by, so it certainly contributed to my voraciousness. For that I love it dearly.

Let's move on to sex. What is your favorite part about it?

My favorite? I can't name a favorite part. It's all great! That's like asking what your favorite aspect of breathing is. It keeps you alive.

What about a favorite hole? Our studies have shown that you take it up the ass more than your pussy.

I'd rather have both of my holes plugged if you know what I mean. They're both wonderful, and both of them welcome any cock, but it's true I do anal a lot more. This isn't due to preference on my part so much as it is the preferences of others.

Could you elaborate? The preferences of others?

Well yeah, when you see a fat, jiggly booty, you're gonna wanna tap that. On top of having a perfect pair of tits and a godly cock, my ass is also divine. One look and you'll be humping it like a hydrant. Just you watch.

So you believe futanari are more likely to fuck your asshole based on signal theory? Does that mean you are more likely to fuck another girl's ass for the same reason?

Yep. It's not pussy's fault our balls block its view. Instead you see dat ass or a musky dick, so you aim for those instead.

Granted, when I'm not distracted by those two things, I do slip into that slimy hole more often. It's wetter, so it sometimes can feel better depending on my mood. Same with ass. My cock will want a certain feel one minute then want another other the next, so I'll leap frog between the two.

How about positioning? Do you prefer certain techniques over others?

Not really. I do a lot of cowgirl, doggy and missionary stuff, but that's just because it's easy and convenient most of the time. I've tried every position there is at least a hundred times each, and I enjoy all of them, but it's not the positioning that I care about. It's the knowledge that I'm having sex and feeling pleasure. The position is incidental.

Before I ask my final question, I would like to take a moment to comment that, personally, I would bend you over a railing and fuck your perfect fucking ass until kingdom cums in your sexy stomach you big titty slut I fucking love every inch of your perfect whore body and want to worship its jiggly mass for the rest of my life.

You did pay for an hour of my life. We still have ten minutes left if you want to. Though if you want a dynasty length orgasm you'll have to extend your trial.

For our last question, we'd like you to tell us whether you have ever used magic to enhance your lovemaking.

All the time. I mostly use my celestial keys to clone myself, but we have a one girl at Fairy Tail, Wendy, whose healing magic can make you feel like you're walking on air. Unfortunately she can only use it on one or two girls at a time, but when it's you getting the treatment you just cum and cum like it's nobody's business. Buy her sometime. She's always looking for a sugar mama.

That's all for our time today. Thank you for joining us Lucy. Please send our readers and your fans one last message.

You are nothing but a body! A hot, sexy body! Take off your clothes and let your womanhood free! Exist for the pleasure principle! Sex are my politics and sex is my life! Do whatever you like!

Following this interview, our journalist spent much of our budget monopolizing Fairy Tail's blonde bombshell. She also used a hefty chunk of her own savings to dual bang Wendy at Lucy's recommendation and has since become addicted to the sky user's healing magic.