FOUR

RUN

LEAH

I have no idea where I am going to go but I have to go.

I drive the Rabbit back to Reservation, but I park it at the convenience store and leave the keys inside with Embry's mother, Tiffany. She'll make sure Jacob gets it back safely.

I have a small window of time to get back out before Jacob finds me. If I see him, I'll be too weak to leave. And me staying would only mean confronting him about what Rosalie said, and I just can't right now.

Or ever.

"Where's the fire?"

Embry's voice startles me, my wolf senses temporarily inhibited as I am lost in my head and trembling with nervous energy. I turn to him and shake my head, "I have to go."

"Go?" his brow raises with the question and I know he wants me to elaborate but I don't. I start walking towards the bus stop that will take me out of town.

"Leah? What's going on?" He follows me and grabs my arm, pulling me back and forcing me to face him. I hiss and wrench my flesh out of his grasp.

"Fuck off, Call."

"Not until you tell me what's going on."

I suck my teeth in annoyance and try to move around him, but he blocks me. "It's none of your business, okay?"

"Like hell it is! Did Jake do something?"

I hesitate for a moment, because the answer is both yes and no. I opt to shake my head. "I've got somewhere to be okay? Just mind your business, Embry." Clutching the black purse full of money, I take a deep breath, realizing it's now or never. Embry finding me makes it all the harder to leave now.

"You're running aren't you?" He says in this knowing tone that's both judgmental yet concerned.

Biting my lip, I sigh again and turn to meet his questioning gaze. "I've got something to do Embry, that's all I'm going to say. You just need to fall back."

"What do I tell our Alpha when he comes trying to find you, then?" he snaps, not bothering to hide his disapproval. He's the first person from the pack to know about us and his attitude is all the more reason why I should leave before this whole thing gets out of hand. When they hear that Nessie wants Jake and that I'm the reason he doesn't want to go back to her, they'll crucify me. Sam will dance over my grave.

"Tell him whatever you want Embry, or nothing at all."

"See? This is why you never should have gotten involved. I knew this would end badly!"

"Mind your own damn business! No one asked for your opinion!" I snap. I don't need a lecture, I just need to get gone and if he doesn't get out of my way, I'll make him.

"I can't believe this…you love him, don't you! That's why you're running."

That's all he needed to say for me to sock him in the mouth. "I said, fall back," I warn, shaking the pain from my knuckles as Embry wipes the blood from his lip.

"You know I can't, I care about you, you're my family."

I scoff. Oh, now he wants to talk about family? After all this time? "I'm not your problem and I don't need you to fix me or my life okay?"

"So you expect me to just stand by while you do this to yourself? You should have known better Leah! After that mess with Sam and Emily? How could you trust him? There's no way it would ever last. I thought you were smarter than that."

"Look, not everything is about him okay? We were just fucking," I growl back. I don't know why I say it but I'm already in self-preservation mode and Embry looking down at me in disgust forces me to say anything that will save me some kind of face.

"Then why are you running?"

"BECAUSE, EMBRY!" I yell, shoving his chest so that he gets the point. I'm NOT talking about this with him. I'm done with it ALL. The rumble of the city bus coming up the road makes my heart leap and now more than ever I just want to bail.

"Leah, wait, come on, where're you gonna go? What about Seth and your mother?" Embry shouts behind me as I make a mad dash across the road, flagging down the driver. I climb on board, pay the fee and make my way to the back of the bus. I don't look back to check if Embry's still there.

I don't look back at my home.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

I buy a ticket for a bus to Seattle. My gut is telling me to go to Rebecca in Hawaii. She's literally the only person I know outside of the Res; and if I have to leave home alone, it's best to go where at least one person knows my name. It sucks that she's Jacob's sister and it would be wrong to ask her to not tell anyone I'm there, but I'm counting on her estrangement from her father and brother. I figure she won't say anything because she knows what it feels like to need space.

I've always envied the Black twins for getting out of the Res early, exploring a life for themselves. Now it's my turn. As much as it's hurting to leave Jake and my family, maybe the vamp bitch was right. This is just what I need to do for myself. I need to start over and get my shit together. I'm so tired of being this pathetic version of myself.

It takes about five hours to get to Seattle and the first thing I do is deposit $5000 of the money into my account then I keep the rest for my plane ticket and pocket money for cab fare. I had called Rebecca from the bus station and she had agreed immediately to host me for my trip, screaming excitedly in my poor ears.

For the first few hours since getting on the bus, it's easy to push Jacob out of my mind as I focus on getting myself to a safe place. I'm so used to being on the Reservation all the time, and always being with the pack, at home or with Jake that it's disconcerting to be alone in the city. I've also got to be on my guard for vampires, as they love to prowl around these parts.

When I finally get myself settled at the departure gate for my flight, I decide to call home.

"Hello?" Sue answers, and I immediately register the panic in her voice.

"Mom, it's me."

"Oh my God! Leah! We have been so worried! Where are you!? Why didn't you call earlier! Embry said you took a bus to Forks. Jacob has been worried SICK! He's been-" My mother's voice cuts off and I hear muffled voices. "Leah? Where are you honey?" she calls back into the receiver.

"I just called to tell you that I'm okay and not to worry," I say quickly, knowing I can't let anyone else get on the line.

"What? Leah what do you mean? Where are you?"

"I'm at the airport, about to get on a plane."

"What? But how? Leah where are you going and what happened?"

She's completely freaked but I can't tell her, not just yet. Because there're wolf ears listening. And because it's still too fresh. I'm still living through the worst day of my life. I just can't tell her yet. "I'm going to call you soon and tell you where I am Mom. But just know that I'll be okay. I love you. Tell Seth I'll be okay. I just need some time alone to think and…get my life together."

"Leah did something happen?" My mother whispers.

Tears burn my eyes and I shake my head before telling her that I just need some time to myself.

Defeatedly she sighs into the phone. "Alright Leah, but please, call me. I won't sleep tonight, I'll be so worried."

"I'm a big girl, I promise I can take care of myself."

"I know you can, you're the strongest woman I know. I love you too."

I smile and then end the call before she manages to change my mind. My cell immediately starts to ring and Jacob's face appears on the screen. My eyes instantly tear up as I stare at the face I love more than anything. I want to ignore him but a part of me knows I have to take the call. I can't hurt him anymore than I already am right now by being here, instead of in his arms.

"Jake," I whisper as soon as the phone touches my ear.

"Lee! What's going on? Why are you at the airport?" He's trying to be calm and pleasant, but I don't miss the strain in his voice. It's obvious he's in front of Mom and Seth and trying to be Alpha rather than lover for their sake. I know him like the back of my hand, and I can tell he already feels that something is wrong for us.

"I have to go Jacob."

"Where? And Why? Lee I need to see you, we need to talk about what happened today. You said you were going to wait for me, what happened?" His voice is a whisper now, and my wolf ears pick up his heavy footsteps. He's likely going somewhere private to talk.

"Jacob, I know that Nessie wants to be with you, and I need you to just not fight her okay, or me for that matter. Just go with it. Give us both what we want."

"How did you know? Wait, I don't understand Leah, are you telling me that you want me to be with her?"

I nod, silently wiping the tears that are flooding my cheeks right there in the middle of the departure gate. "Yes," I choke, and the lie tastes so sour in my mouth. In that moment, I honestly hate myself for doing this to us both.

"No…Leah, NO," He challenges and then there's a choking sound and he takes a deep breath on the line. "Why? Leah why are you giving up?" Jacob beseeches me in the softest child-like voice and I know I've broken the piece of him that I've been lucky enough to have in the first place. I squeeze my eyes shut and rub furiously at my face, because it's literally the only thing I can do. I can't scream, I can't phase…and I can't go back to him.

"I…I've been through this before Jake and I know how this ends. It doesn't make sense dragging it out." It's not even a lie, but until today I was willing to ignore the inevitable.

"But what if she's okay about us? Will you come back to me then?"

I grunt and shake my head, keeping my head down because I don't want to know how many people are listening in to my conversation as we wait for the flight to call. "What if she's not okay? Then what?" I bounce the question back. Cause that's still the part of all this that really matters. What do I mean to him when she decides she's not okay? Jacob just doesn't understand how I'm trying to protect him from becoming Sam. He'd rather die than be like Sam.

"I'll fight for us, for this. I love you honey, so much. I just need you to come home Leah, please. Don't leave me." I know it's not as hard for him to beg, as it is for me to hear it, knowing that it changes nothing. He's never told me he loves me before and I wish that he hadn't chosen now to say it. Neither of us want to put the other in this position, to ask for something that we know is just too damn costly to our sanity. But I want us to stop pretending or we'll kill each other at this rate.

I toss my head back and groan in frustration. The sound comes out a bit more animalistic than it should have though, and I don't miss the flinch of the old woman who smells like Vicks VapoRub two seats away from me.

But who cares right now if I sound like a dog? My heart is burning with need for him. I close my eyes and take another deep breath. I can practically conjure the feel of him: hard muscles under smooth skin, pillow soft lips… I can taste that sunny smile.

It takes everything in me to stick to my decision.

"Just let me go, Jake," I whimper right before I press end, followed by the power button. Right before he can even think to call me again.

I stick my phone back into my bag and root around in my seat until I am comfortable on the shitty plastic. The wolf wants to be free and for a second I'm not so sure I can even get on a plane. Fuck, it would have been much safer to go by bus because I could always make the driver pull over. I start biting my nail, contemplating the pros and cons of getting on the plane in my current state. I have no fucking clue what to do.

"Excuse me young lady, are you okay?"

It's the old lady two seats away. In shock I look over at her, realizing that she isn't as old as I'd imagined.

"Are you okay?" she asks again when I forget to answer. "You're a bit sweaty."

Oh gee thanks. But you'd be sweaty too if you ran a temperature of 105 every damn day!

"I think I might be having a heart attack," I deadpan. But the lack of movement that would indicate that I am actually under duress, inspires her not to panic.

"Oh dear…I see," she chuckles and then holds up her hand to me as if to stop me from going somewhere. Apparently, my rudeness did nothing to scare her off. Slumped over in my seat, I watch in a trance as she slowly digs around in her huge travel bag, wondering what the thing she is looking for so ardently will be. I hope she doesn't think that whatever it is will cure this pain that I'm trying not to feel. With a proud smile she finally produces a pill and a Snickers bar. "Go ahead it's a sedative. It'll calm you down for the flight."

I'm pretty sure she means the pill and the chocolate bar together are the sedative and I'm pretty sure she's right. "Thank you," I tell her, forcing a gloomy smile as I accept the offering. I devour the chocolate bar but keep the pill until we are in the air and then, pushing aside my reservations, I swallow it with some water. With a blanket and pillow I curl up into my first class seat, (because if I'm gonna run away from home with only a purse of cash, then I could as well travel in comfort for my long-ass legs) and let the drugs take control.

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When I finally get to Oahu, Rebecca is waiting for me outside, leaning against a cool little white jeep with no roof. She's more tanned than usual and her raven hair is glossy and long and flowing. She is the picture of a Hawaiian native not a Quileute princess. She is summer and ease and beauty in her denim shorts and crocheted halter top. She's thicker than the teenager I remember, with soft curves in all the right places. Rebecca smiles and waves when she sees me and I can't help but return the excitement. Now that I'm here I just feel relieved to be on solid ground.

I made it.

I'm doing this and it will all be okay.

"Oh my god! I can't believe you're here! Aloha!" Rebecca squeals as we embrace, laughing.

"Me either!" I cry, still in shock myself.

"Where's all your stuff?" Rebecca asks, looking behind me, miffed.

I hold up the handbag and shrug. "This is it, I have to go shopping."

Rebecca is now suspicious. Her face scrunches up at me and one hand comes up to sit on her hip. "What the fuck does that mean? You ran away? Are you pregnant?" she practically demands with narrowed eyes.

I snort at the "pregnant" part. She has no idea how impossible that would be. "I ran away, okay? Relax." We both get into the jeep and Rebecca pulls out from the curb. "We can talk about that after I eat and sleep. How's Solomon?"

"He's fine, miserable because he's hurt and can't surf for a month."

I chuckle. "He's bored and restless huh?"

"And driving me insane. I'm so glad you're here because now I have a reason to keep my clothes on. He thinks me riding him on the couch is now the best thing ever to pass the time. My legs hurt, if I wanted to be so fit I'd join the gym. It's too much of a workout and I have a life."

I can't help but snicker again and Rebecca joins me. Her laugh is like the twitter of a bird, reminding me of how fond she'd always been of the creatures when we were kids.

She gives me a once over and raises her brows. "You clearly have been working out though, and since when were you ever so fucking tall?"

I grunt and shrug. "I jog a lot," is my answer. "It clears my head." And it isn't a lie. I run all the time as a wolf. It's something that I'll miss. There doesn't seem to be any forested areas near enough to phase daily and it's obvious that I'll have to keep my temper in check so that I don't need to shift at any point. Plus, I don't want to talk to any members of the pack…if our connection would even work this far away. Nerves run through me at the thought of exposing our secret with an accidental phase and I bite my lip.

Spirits, please don't let me fuck this up. I need this.

Hawaii is officially now all that I have that won't remind me of Jacob – Becca excluded.

I focus my attention back on my old friend, my sister. "I missed you sissy," I tell her, reaching over and patting her leg.

"Me too sissy-bear. And it sucks that you're here because now I'm gonna be homesick for everybody. How's Dad? And Rach? And Lotus! And Jake?" she gushes along excitedly and I am excited too right up until she calls her brother's name.

"Lotus is the sweetest little flower. She's seriously the most adorable baby. She's got us all wrapped around her little finger. And Rach is a great Mom. She's so much like Aunt Sarah."

"Really?" Rebecca looks over at me with a mournful smile. "And I'm missing it all. She doesn't even know her Auntie Becc."

"You video chat every week, what are you talking about?" I nudge her.

"It's not the same."

I nod, because it's not. She has no idea what Lotus smells like, how her little laugh vibrates from her little tummy. She has no clue how she loves to roll around in the bed at night, giggling and tousling and bestowing wet kisses, before snuggling down for a story. Shit, I'm gonna miss that little girl. Whenever Paul has night patrol I stay over and help with wind-down time. Aside from Jake it was the highlight of my week.

I know that I've been living vicariously through Rachel and at first I thought maybe Sam's pack would think that I was being weird, or shun me for getting too close. But Rachel made me Lotus' godmother and it gave me a reason to stay close, and then Lotus and I bonded. "They miss you so much. I know Rachel wants you to meet the baby. If you want to visit, I can pay Becc."

"What, did you rob a bank? Is that why you're out here?" she goads me while making a left turn into a parking lot.

"I did not rob a bank. I just came into some money okay? And I needed a vacation, for once." The smell of seafood fills the jeep and I moan. God, food. My stomach rumbles loudly with anticipation.

"Everything back home is fine though, right? No one's hurt?" she inquires again, and I reassure that everyone's fine, just probably pissed at me for running off without saying anything. "I just needed to get away. It was time for a change of scenery. Thanks for letting me crash for a while. I'm thinking of getting a job, so I can help out with everything." I know it's too soon to just invite myself to stay, but the reality is that I have to. By saying it out loud, I'd have to stick to the plan and not run back to La Push with my tail between my legs. This is my chance to really get my life together, but now that I'm actually here, the weight of my sudden decision hits me like a ton of bricks.

This is it.

"Seriously? So this is not really a vacation at all then! What you really wanted was to escape," Rebecca muses as we get out of the jeep. Of course she's right. "We've all been there, Lee, don't worry. Welcome to your new life." Becca giggles and gestures to the scenery before of us, taking my hand and pulling me right into the mix.

The Surf Bar and Grill is busy and slow reggae music blasts into the street. Millennials are dressed in swimwear, all eyes covered in dark glasses, their joints are lit, they're laughing, eating, sharing. One blonde guy has a guitar and he's singing softly for two girls who stare at him like he's their Jesus. I am mesmerized by the atmosphere, the freedom of it all. It's like living in two worlds at once. On one side there's the big city, and on the other, the aqua waters glisten in the sunlight, begging you to chuck the 9 to 5. It's the eternal summer, Paradise.

We get a huge seafood platter and a couple beers, as Rebecca informs me that we still have over an hour's drive to her place. Rebecca and Solomon live in a surfing town called Haleiwa, on the North Shore of Oahu. He teaches surfing and co-owns a surf shop with his friend Palo, while Rebecca is the school nurse at the local elementary school. As we eat, she tells me about their life and how happy she's been with the laid-back lifestyle.

"Do you plan to ever visit home though?" I ask, because it's something we all have wanted to know for a long time. She was to come that time when Rachel visited and Paul imprinted; but at last minute had bailed. That was over six years ago.

Rebecca shrugs and focuses her attention on shrimp, signaling to me that the topic is closed for discussion. Maybe one day she'd finally confess what has her so scared to go home.

After dinner we head over to a shopping plaza and I am able to pick up all my clothing essentials: sweats, towels, underwear, toiletries, jeans, shoes, a suitcase and tons of swim wear. I even snag a cute denim jacket and a couple sundresses and kaftans at a thrift shop. Because of my surprise at the fair prices, Rebecca whispers to me that most of their clothes come from the lost and found at various hotels and resorts around Hawaii. They make a killing on selling over lost high-end fashion. It's genius.

I feel like a kid at Christmas and for once, the fact that it's Rosalie's money doesn't grate my nerves. I deserve to be pampered, to feel like a woman again rather than a furry four-legged creature. That was her intention, wasn't it? For a moment, just a moment, as I hand the money over, I don't hate the leech.

When we get to Rebecca's house, which is perfectly settled in a little community near the beach, I am amazed by how peaceful I instantly feel. As we get out of the car, I turn in a slow circle, taking everything in. There is no chill in the air and it totally lacks the gloom of constant grey clouds. The yard smells so good, so fruity and floral, so fresh. The breeze which still carries the scent of salt over to the houses, caresses my skin like the softest silk.

"It's perfect." I tell her. "Just what the doctor ordered."

Rebecca smiles and leads me inside to officially meet her husband.

AN_ Thanks for sticking with me! This one was pretty long cause I just wanted to get Leah settled. Next up, a very dramatic, heartbroken Alpha Jake. Stay safe and healthy! xoxo