TEN

FLIGHT

JACOB

"Let him go Rachel. He's determined to learn the hard way."

My father's words push me over the edge and I barely make it to the yard before fur bursts through my skin. My russet paws hit the ground with such force that soil goes flying everywhere. No creature is safe from the path of destruction if they cross me. None of my pack are on duty today so I embrace the silence in my head as I head north.

As soon as I got to Rachel's house, I was wary of my father's presence. I knew her intent: to get us to talk and make up. It's not that I'm completely against the idea, but it's too soon. Wounds are still fresh and tender, and I really don't want to hear anything more about my so-called misdeeds. There is very little that my father and I can actually agree on at this present time, and what happened just now, proves it.

My head feels like I'm in a whirlwind. I just keep going around and around having the same conversation with everybody. I'm going nowhere and fast. It's obvious that I'm not in control of anything in my life. I couldn't control the imprint and now I can't get a hold on anything else. Since I came back from Spain I finally felt like I was, but I was clearly fooling myself. Leah told me as much, and she was right – cruel, but right.

My father and I have reached an impasse. Our relationship is beyond damaged, it's broken, and I have no idea how we're ever going to fix it if he can't accept that I don't have it in me to give up my soul to someone my heart can't commit to.

I know that forgiveness is not what I really want. No, it's freedom. But I'm obviously never going to get it. With Leah gone it seems even more likely that I'll end up with Nessie somehow. Still, I want to swim upstream, like our sacred salmon. I want to go against the tide and find my way home, to her. But how can I? She's made the decision for me that my home is with Nessie. She wants me to give in to the imprint. So does my father, the packs, the Council, my sister. EVERYONE. I've been betrayed by them all. I feel as though I am no longer loved or respected by anyone in my life. It's not about ME, it's all about the wolf. How can I live like that? I'm not Sam.

It's pathetic. I'm pathetic. But I don't know how to be anything but, while floundering here at rock-bottom.

My wolf tears through the forest, and my senses tell me that I've long passed the boundaries of the Reservation. But I don't stop. It seems to be a thing that I do: go all Emo Wolf when a girl doesn't love me back enough to choose me. It's so much easier to give up, to give in to the primal state where nothing adult or human matters. Eat sleep hunt run. It's all I have to do. The wind and the rain and the cold hard earth at night are all I have to feel. Nothing matters out here in the wilderness, nothing but survival.

And if I am to survive this pain, then it's the only place where I belong.

That's what none of the guys could ever understand about the first time I left home and lived in Canada. If I don't withdraw myself from the packs, from the sound of my father's voice in my head, from everyone's opinions, I'll literally lose my mind.

One could call it 'running away,' one could call it 'cracking under pressure.' Sam and Billy would simply call it 'insubordination.' Honestly, I don't give a fuck. I just know that in the past, when I reached my all-time low, this was what had worked. The land was where I harnessed my strength. And I can only pray that it does not fail me now.

Withdrawing into the wolf will allow me to figure out what to do about Nessie. I know I need to go to her, to talk this out, but I just can't. Not yet. I'm a mess. There are questions I need answered. Is she really our mate? Can she really be my wife? Is it her that I am destined to love forever? Or will the wolf submit and let me be with Leah, will it surrender to MY wishes? I need to be sure so that I can get my life together. I've been avoiding it all this time, thinking that I am strong enough, but the truth is, the wolf and I need to make peace. We need to be on the same page because I really can't keep on living this way, feeling like I am supposed to be two people at the same time.

I make my way up to the set of caves that I know to be a good spot for me to sleep at night. I'm exhausted emotionally and physically, so I waste no time moving to the deep end where no one will see me. With a huff I flop onto the earthen floor and curl in on myself. After a few deep breaths to slow down my heartrate, I'm out like a light.

TWO WEEKS LATER

I'm running through a dark tunnel. I know that there's danger, but I have no idea if I'm running towards or away from it. I just know that I'm terrified. Someone's hurt and I need to get there. "Jacob!" a female voice calls. "Jake! I need you…"

Startled awake, I inspect my cave to see that I am still alone. It is still the dead of night and I am still in Canada. My wolf picks up no other scent than earth, but I feel as though someone is right here with me.

Trying to focus without sleep clogging my thoughts, I recall the details of the dream. The voice. I realize now that it was Nessie. That could only mean that my imprint needs me. I can feel it in my chest, that pull towards her. There isn't a second thought about it in my mind.

I have to go.

I take off like lightning in the night, letting the wolf navigate us home. Whatever it is she needs, it must be serious, for me to get such a strong pull towards her. It takes me almost a full day of running and hiding from humans to get back, and when I arrive at my house, I can barely stand for being so tired. The wolf had pushed hard this time because obviously, we need to know what's wrong. I should have taken my phone, I don't even know any numbers by heart for the Cullens that I could have used a pay phone in Canada. I find my phone on the bedside table, while catching the scents of my pack lingering in the air. They'd been checking the place for any signs of my whereabouts most likely.

After my phone boots up, it immediately starts to vibrate with what seems like hundreds of messages. Most of them are from Nessie, Bella, the pack, even Rosalie of all people…but that's it. I try not to think about Leah's silence and dial Nessie's number first.

"Jacob?" she answers on the first ring.

"What wrong Ness? Are you hurt? Is it the Volturi?" my spine is stiff with anticipation. I just need to know what we're up against.

"Jacob! Where have you been? How could you stay gone for so long! I was so scared!"

I soften at her scolding, which I know I justly deserve because I abandoned her for much longer than two weeks. "Nessie, I'm sorry I had to go and sort some things out. But we can talk about me later, what's going on?"

"The Volturi have been snooping around, yes. They wanted to know how my schooling has been going. They're fascinated that I've been living among humans and have no bloodlust."

"Are you sure that's all? Did they try to touch you or take you someplace?"

"No Jake, it was actually a few video chats. Mom and Dad were here. Aro's new secretary organized the whole thing through Carlisle. He seemed to think the computer was like magic. Honestly, I hope it doesn't mean that he plans to call all the time."

"That would be harassment. How are you feeling about all of this?"

"Nervous? I guess. I just don't like talking to them, Aro is so good at making you feel like he's not a threat. But just the way he looks at me, I can tell that he wants me there with them. I just, I don't trust him."

"I know, neither do I." I take a deep breath as the tension of the wolf makes my body stiffen more.

"Mom and Rosalie said I should call you and let you know what happened. I was a little scared to talk to Aro."

"Okay, don't worry, I'm coming to see you and sort this out with the coven." The wolf and I would never rest if she got hurt. At the end of the day, I take my duty to be Nessie's protector seriously and I don't trust the Volturi not to have some plan behind the scenes.

Video chat? Really? Is that some sick plan for them to find out where she's living? Not that they'd need to snoop since they have the best trackers. What game are they playing now?

Though I had to leave the coven because the wolf was having a hard time living with leeches, her safety takes priority. We'd made a pact the day I left, Nessie and I: If she really needed me, she'd call. And when she called, I'd come.

I have no choice but to keep my word, but to face the fucking music.

"You'll really come?" The doubt, joy and surprise in her voice makes me feel like even more of a jerk.

"Of course. I'll patrol and make certain you're safe."

"Some of the coven is here in Paris, just so you know. Well, they're staying at their place, not mine."

"Good, at least I know you've got back-up until I get there." I don't want to see her parents again, but it's not about me at this point.

"Thanks Jacob. I….I hope you know it means a lot to me, I don't want you to uproot your life because I'm paranoid about Aro. I just can't help but feel a little worried that he'll ask me to come to Italy, or worse, send Jane and the others to 'check in.'"

And there it is. "No, no, no, Bug. No. Don't even think that way, okay? That's what I'm here for. No matter what shit I say or do, I swear, you're important to me."

I can only imagine how Blondie is going to rub this shit all over my face when I arrive - cause I don't doubt for a moment that she's part of the group in Paris. She was right, Nessie really isn't comfortable with asking me to come back. I guess after I decided to leave so abruptly, (after making it clear that I could never live with leeches again) she has a good reason to be hesitant. God, I've really been such a dick to her when none of this is her fault.

"I would have asked Seth to come instead but Rose said that I should use the protector bond to call to you. Did it work?"

Ask Seth? That definitely wouldn't have sat right with me if she had. It's not his place. "Yes, Ness. It did work. I had a dream that you needed me, and I ran home so that I could call. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me to be."

"It's okay. No more apologies. I'm just glad you're not out of reach anymore. I've missed you Jake, I'll be happy to have you around again."

I tense at the familiar warmth and innocence I can hear in her voice, because I'm so paranoid about what it means. "I'll be on the next flight out. Can you set it up and send me the deets?" I hate to fucking ask, but I really can't afford it right now without notice. Fixing the house already put a dent in my meager savings and I haven't worked since Leah left so I barely have any cash at hand.

"Of course I will! I'll see you soon then."

"Be safe Ness, okay?" I say, because I can't help it.

"I will, Jake, promise."

I plug my phone in to charge and take a deep breath. With my hands on my hips I look up at the ceiling and close my eyes.

FUCK ME.

I decide that a shower is most necessary before I look for a meal. But my head and face are covered in bushy hair and I feel like a dirty old hobo from under a bridge. I pull out my electrical shaving kit and get to work on myself outside in the yard. It's only when I turn the razor off to use the scissors that I realize that I've got company.

"Seth."

"When did you get back?"

"Just now."

"We've been checking daily to see if you're here."

"Wow, I'm touched. I was pretty sure you all would get together and torch the place instead. Have a giant bonfire. Thanks for not doing that, by the way."

"Jake, sarcasm aside, I think it's time you had a talk with the packs and the Council. I think everyone needs to hear your side instead of your father's."

Here he goes, ordering me around again. I snort and run a comb through my cropped hair to remove the shorn pieces that linger. I've got a mirror posted on one of the garage ceiling beams to see what I'm doing. (The place was not built for a giant like me – my head is almost to the roof.)

"I know I need to Seth, but I can't, not now."

"Why not? It's been two weeks. And thanks for not staying away too long this time. Very considerate of you."

I roll my eyes at his sarcasm. "I've gotta get to Nessie, that's the only reason I'm back now."

"OH. So I guess you've finally decided to tell her." Seth stuffs his hands into his sweats and rocks a few times on his toes. He then looks up at me with an expression that I could only describe as "pained." He's probably thinking about his sister and I push the guilt down so that I can maintain my focus on Ness. I want to ask him how she is, but I don't. I won't. It's not like Leah gives a fuck about me, or ever had. (Two weeks have not been enough time for my bitter feelings regarding her leaving me to subside.)

"Well, actually, the Volturi were snooping around, doing one of their checks."

"What! Is she alright?" Seth's panicky behavior causes me to pause. It's natural for him to be worried, as he knows how sneaky the vampire VIPs are. I'm barely calm myself because I keep remembering that it was only a video call, and that she is protected by her family.

"She's a little spooked. But she was alright. I'm just going to patrol and make sure she's good. I'm a little worried the Volturi are going to try some bullshit. They won't get over their sick obsession with her." Those creeps are evil incarnate. God knows what they'd do to Ness if they managed to capture her.

"Do you need backup?" he steps up eagerly behind me.

"You need to focus on finishing school. The coven is already there so I think we've got it covered. I'll let you know how everything checks out, bro. Thanks."

Seth meets my fist pump half-heartedly and it makes me long for a time when my pack was happy.

He continues to stand around as I resume shedding my hair, his eyes vacantly following the tufts that blow and tumble across the ground.

"Something on your mind?" I ask, because I want Seth to remember that it's still me, Jake. His big brother. And no matter what's going on, he can always talk to me.

Seth shrugs. "I…had a lot of time to think about you and Leah and I wanted you to know that I support your right to choose. And I'm sorry I didn't understand before."

His words shock me. "Wow, I appreciate that… I'm curious as to what changed your mind though?"

"I talked to Leah, she explained your point of view a little better…with Nessie being Bella's daughter, if it had been someone else instead…I understand why you're so hesitant to cross that line."

A surge of adrenaline pumps through me. "She wasn't supposed to repeat anything that I said."

"Don't get upset Jake. It wasn't like that. She was defending you to me. Said that you didn't hurt her, that you were really good to her."

"Then why did she LEAVE ME?!" I growl angrily, punching my fist through the card table that's holding my shaving kit. Everything goes crashing to the ground but I don't care. I can barely contain my feelings or the wolf. I'm down right confused. Had I or had I not forced her to run? Was she telling the truth? That I had been good to her? She will talk to others but not me. I don't even know what the heck to make of our time together anymore.

"She left because of the Council – or more like Billy and Sam – and she didn't want you to have to worry about her, to consider her when it came to being with Nessie. She just wanted to make it easier to go back to them…I think. That's what I've gathered."

"It's bullshit. She ran. She never had faith in us or me. It was 'just fucking' anyhow, right? Did she tell you that too?" I snap bitterly.

"Who told you she said that?"

"Embry."

Seth shrugs again. "I don't know, he didn't say that to me. But I don't think that was true for Lee. She's been worried about you. Said her wolf can sense that something's wrong. The day you left actually, she called and asked me for you. It was only after we talked that Quil and Embry told me that you took off."

I steel myself against thinking about Leah or my arguments with my father, and shake it off. "Well it doesn't matter now. Next time you speak to your darling sister, tell her I did what she wanted and she can stop 'worrying' or whatever it is she thinks she's doing."

Seth sighs and hangs his head. "Okay Jake, if that's how you feel."

"None of this was ever about how I feel, no one gives a fuck about that," I growl back.

I pick up my things from the ground and stow them away in their case then carry them inside. Seth lingers in the doorway and I find myself getting annoyed. I just need that shower now. He wants to talk about the shit that went down but I don't. I've got to get to Paris, to the one person who actually needs me.

I was fighting so hard for it not to come down to this. But once against my father was right. He was fucking right. I've ended up right back where I started: with the Cullens.

"So how long will you be gone? The others will want to know."

"I really don't know yet Seth, to be honest. But no one really wants me here anyways, so I might not hurry back."

"That's not true, the pack needs you. And what about the auto shop?"

"Quil and Embry can continue to manage the shop fine without me. Keep part of my share and invest it back in the shop, give the rest to my father. You guys can decide who's the new Alpha and Beta amongst yourselves."

"What? Jake, come on man, you know that none of us want to do that!" Seth protests.

I shrug. "Then don't, just keep patrolling schedule and stay away from Sam."

Seth seems to like that idea better and his shoulders slump in relief. "What about the Chief?"

"What about him? I'm sure he'll be happy to see me go too. I'm finally taking his orders aren't I?"

"No he isn't. From what Mom says, he's worried he's lost you. You're the end of the Black line, Jake."

"That's all he cares about, not my happiness. Rachel will have a son with Paul someday. He should be more optimistic."

"He'll be a Lahote."

"With three lineages of wolf blood in his veins. He'll be Alpha."

"So you're just going to turn your back on everyone and just run off and disappear with Renesmee? Is THAT the plan?"

"What the fuck is your problem, bro?" I snap. "Is that not what all the fuss is about? Me going to my imprintee like a brave little soldier?"

And who the hell is you talking to?

"My problem is that you destroy everything that you touch Jake, and I don't want to see you do that to her too."

Now that was way out of left field.

The thing about automatic reflexes as an Alpha: I don't even think about punching Seth in the face before I do.

And I hit him HARD.

You just can't please the fucking masses.

AN: Thanks again for your reviews on the last chapter! I see two of you so far are already picking up what's happening with Leah. ;) There have been a few hints from the very first chapter. This particular chapter is one of two that gave me some gripe to write. Of course lots of angst, but the issue was more with introducing Renesmee and what would push Jacob to go back to see her rather than putting it off as he intended. So what else but the Volturi? Don't read too much into it.

Up next is actually one of my fave chapters - from the POV of...SAM! Lol. Yup. It's crazy but I somehow love writing his narcissistic character. Chapter 11 and 12 are his, so gear up to be annoyed lol. He really makes a great villain in the wolf pack, you know I always use him.

Thanks again for reading, favoriting and following THIS

Stay safe and stay home!