~Prologue~
"Why are you limping?"
"I tripped over the stairs."
"Did the eighth graders pick on you again?"
"It wasn't them this time. I told you, I'm fine."
"But your leg... looks like it hurts... a lot."
"Ness, don't cry."
"I'm... I'm gonna beat them up!"
"Are you nuts. There were ten of them, and they almost broke your arm last week."
"I still would've won," Ness says stubbornly, wobbling under my weight. But from the way he's sulking, I'm sure that his mother's scolding is fresh on his mind. Ness has a particularly bad habit of sticking his nose where it didn't belong. Even now, his knuckles are red and inflamed, and the bruises around his neck look molten purple.
So I carry his school bag for him.
We reach a fork in the sidewalk. When I return his bag, Ness stretches his arms in complaint. "Man, we have so much math homework due tomorrow. It's so many problems. Like, a mountain full of problems."
"I probably won't finish them."
"Why not?"
"I lost my math textbook," I mumble.
"That's okay, you can take mine," Ness says, opening his bag and pulling his own textbook out.
"What if I lose it too-"
Ness pushes the book into my reluctant hands. "I know you. You won't lose it."
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.
.
.
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The posters of his smiling face were everywhere.
Savior of Onett. The Chosen One. Teenage Idol of the Century.
Within a few months of ending his quest, Ness's life changed. Joining the ranks of Master Hand's Original Twelve, he quickly became the youngest celebrity of the decade. For a while, it was impossible to pay Ness a visit because of the paparazzi and reporters camping outside his house.
It didn't stop him from sneaking out at night. Insisting me to HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, he teleported to the baseball field halfway across town, where his hug (more like a tackle) sent me flying off my feet.
"Haha! Look at you, you've grown taller!" Ness exclaims, pressing his palm into my head. "But I'm still taller than you."
"I'm still growing," I insist, looking up into his face in dismay.
"It's okay, you'll always be younger than me." When Ness finally sees it fit to release me, he gives a pent-up groan. "You wouldn't believe how hard it was to teleport under my mom's nose. Everyone keeps bothering me."
"You saved the world," I remind him.
"Only because it had to be saved." Ness falls back into the grass. "Dang it, why did you quit school? Now class is gonna be all sad and boring without you."
"I didn't really have a choice. Oh, right, here-"
"Dude... Is that my textbook?!"
"You never showed up to school the next day, because you went on your quest, but I tried to keep it safe-"
"I totally forgot about that! Thanks. You didn't have to return it today."
"Might as well."
"That makes two of us, I guess. About school. I think I'll stay another year to make my mom happy, then quit 7th grade."
I sit down next to him. "I heard Master Hand offered you a place on the roster."
"Yeah." Ness stares into the sky. "Wow... I haven't been here in three months. How long has it been since we last talked anyway?"
"You called me last week in Saturn Valley."
"It's not the same."
"I'm glad you're home," I say quietly.
"Same. You have no idea how much I wished BuzzBuzz let me bring you along. He was all like two boys and one girl will help you save the world, but when I brought you up, he was all like Lucas isn't a part of your quest, dumbass." Ness shook his head with a laugh. "You never told me you were psychic. Maybe that would've changed BuzzBuzz's mind. When did you find out about your powers?"
"Sometime after you left," I mumble.
Ness suddenly sits up. "I want to see you do magic!"
I grimace. "It's embarrassing. I can't control my telepathy-"
"TELEPATHY?" Ness yells with glee. "What? How? No wait, eye contact, isn't it? Can you still read my mind if I look away?"
"Only if your thoughts are loud."
"How about now?"
"I don't think it makes a difference. You've always been easy to read."
Clearly put out, Ness puffs his cheeks out and says in a high funny voice, "Oh, look at me, my name is Lucas and I'm too cool for my best friend."
I lightly slug him in the shoulder. "You're the famous one."
"Hey, you have powers! That means you should apply."
"Apply to where?"
"The new smash roster!"
"I'm not a hero."
"Pbbfft, aren't we all-"
"I'm not," I insist. "Me, save people? I can barely save myself from tripping over the sidewalk."
"I bet we'd be famous together. As new smashers. Ness and Lucas, fighting crime!"
"Don't get ahead of yourself."
Ness's grin widens. "You'd never know unless you apply."
My broken family. My father's debt.
Society was already out to get me. I supposed that I had nothing else to lose.
How very wrong I was.
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~Chapter Twenty-Two~
Nothing Else to Lose
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.
.
"We're dating."
One roundtable. Three people.
The silence after Ness's declaration is painful.
Ness's mom staggers to her feet.
Sensing that something's gone terribly wrong, Ness reaches for her arm. "Mom-"
"Lucas, I thought you were a good boy," she finally says. "But I was wrong."
I'm sorry.
"I told you to take care of my son, but you-" she struggles with the words. "I sent my son to deliver soup to you when you got sick. I let you two play together in the same room. I let you sleep over when you were little, but after I never suspected that you'd- you pretended to be friends with my son, and you-" A broken sob. "God. My son... why did it have to be my son?"
I'm so sorry.
"I never should've let you be friends!"
"Mom, it's not like that," Ness pleads. "Just listen to me for a sec-"
"-where did God lead us wrong? No... I see now." Ness's mother raises her head to look straight at me. "...It was you. You. You dragged my son into this mess. Filthy, disgusting freak. Burn in hell."
"Lucas, you should leave. She's taking it in worse than I thought-"
Then wrenching her hand back in unbridled fury, his mother slaps me awake.
.
.
.
"In light of his recent homosexual scandal, Ness's popularity has only hiked-"
"Fans were left in shock when teenage idol Ness openly claimed to be bisexual last month-"
"-speculated to have entered a sinful affair with his fellow roommate-"
"-ternoon, the child idol was spotted with Paula Polestar outside Grande Central Park. What was the real reason behind her visit? Will this love affair become a love triangle? Stay tuned for more shipping conspiracies at-"
"Hey, turn that thing down, will you?" Ness says lightly, walking into the living room. "It's giving me a headache."
"They're talking about you."
"Let them talk. That's all they do."
I turn the TV off. Every single channel. Every single hit in the latest celebrity stream.
This is the world we live in.
"Lucas! Luke, holy shit, it's Christmas," Ness yells, running around in excited circles like a kid hyped up on sugar. "Presents. Cake. It's Christmas- woohoo!"
But this is too.
I guess reality can't be too cruel.
"I'll give you your present later since we have to- woah. Someone looks dead. What happened, did you hear Santa Claus get stuck in the chimney?" Ness teases when I fumble for my tea mug.
"Guess so. What time's the reservation?"
"Eleven today. Why?" Ness looks at me incredulously. "Oh no, are you still worrying over my mom? I already told you not to worry. My mom knows about us, and she's cool with it."
"You never said that she was coming here a day early," I say, aghast.
"Yeah, but only to tour the city with my sister. But Christmas, Christmas Eve, what's the difference?"
The difference?
Sometimes the kindest of people are the scariest of all.
For some reason, my hands won't stop shaking, and I'm having difficulty pouring my coffee, splashing it over the rim of the cup. When Ness told his mother of our so-called relationship, she must have been furious. She has every right to despise me. I owe her so much, and have done so little in return.
I'm not ready to face her.
"Tracy's here too," Ness adds with a comical groan.
Great. An audience. Even better.
I lower my voice. "But your mom's Christian-"
"Correction - mildly." As if catching onto my expression, Ness gives me a sheepish shrug. "My mom grew up in a super catholic family, but she's never been too strict about making me go to church. She likes us to form our own conclusions ourselves."
His phone rings. As if shocked, he jumps to his feet. "Shit, I'm late! I should've teleported Paula to the SkyTrain station five minutes ago-"
"Don't keep her waiting."
"Too late!" Ness chirps, struggling his shoes on before waving me goodbye. "I'll be right back in half an hour, so go ahead and dress, okay?" Giving a response in kind, I watch him leave before downing the rest of my coffee.
At the very least, I should look presentable for the dreaded meeting with the in-laws, so I end up taking a quick shower before combing my hair.
Since movie night on Saturday, Ness hasn't made another move. While he's started slinging his arm over my shoulders again, he doesn't hug me. He doesn't touch me. All in all, Ness is treating me the way he normally does, except that this time, he's giving me space to sort out my thoughts.
Between my head and heart, I know which is the more reasonable.
But looking into the mirror, I can only see my twin brother's face swimming there.
I'm turning reckless.
I press the comb onto the bathroom counter so tightly that the bristles dig into my palm. It doesn't matter what I want, not when what I want is not what I need. I need to keep Ness's mom happy, I need to keep my dad happy, I need to keep Ness happy. The longer I drag my indecision along, the unhappier we'll all be.
I've already caused irreversible damage to Ness's reputation.
I have to end it before I do any more.
But when I hear the door beep open, and Ness clambers into the bedroom cheerfully chattering away, I can't bring myself to say those words to his face. Not now. Not on Christmas. Another time.
I'm still the same coward I was nine years ago.
"You don't have to worry," Ness says as if to reassure me, anxiously watching me button on my shirt. "My mom already knows who you are. Besides, it's not like we're actually dating yet." As if realizing what he's said, Ness starts to stammer, his face turning bright red. "Not that I'd mind dating you, you're... I-I just..."
I grin. He's so obvious.
I wonder how it took so long to notice. The way he smiles. The way he stammers. The latter, especially. Ness is a naturally smooth talker. It isn't like him to be flustered out of words so easily.
I've taken him for granted.
"...I hate ties," Ness grunts instead, hurrying into the bathroom.
His words aren't unsupported. I almost strangle Ness when I accidentally make his knot too tight, but surprisingly, Ness doesn't have much trouble with ties, giving me a passable Windsor.
"I've been in the celeb business longer than you have, remember?" With a noisy crow of delight, he flexes his arms to strike a ridiculous pose against the mirror. "Shit, look at us, we're on PK fire."
I can tell that he's trying to lift my mood, but it's honestly the worst pun I've heard by far.
"Narcissist," I chortle, pushing past him.
"Hey, I heard that!"
Like a hyperactive ball of energy, Ness does a happy jig all the way down the stairs to the limo, and seeing him goof off makes my mind lighter. Ness always had a way of lifting heavy thoughts from my head.
"Maybe we should ditch the dinner reception with the sponsors tonight," Ness suggests once we've strapped ourselves into the passenger seats. "I'd rather spend Christmas watching Home Alone on TV than listening to some boring speech Master Hand came up with in the shower."
"The sponsors did fund the games. We have to thank them in person."
"Must be nice to be rich. Then again, I can't complain about my salary raise." Ness spares a glance my way, and his eyes soften. "Hey, you still nervous?"
I swallow down the lump in my throat. "I can't say that I'm not."
"You take everything seriously. It'll be all right. My mom made a reservation at a high-end breakfast place because she knew people were going to be around-"
"There'll be people?" I croak.
"We'll have our own private room, so it'll be okay," Ness says, frantically waving his hands around. "It's just, when we walk out of the limo-"
I shake my head. "Another crowd of your fans. Exactly what we needed."
"Shut up, you dork," Ness retorts. "I would've teleported us, but I figured that we shouldn't get ash on our clothes if we're wearing them tonight. Anyways, my mom would've chewed my ear off."
"I can't believe she convinced Master Hand to overturn your House Arrest."
"My mom can be very persuasive when she's angry," Ness says solemnly.
I don't deny that.
Resting his head against the seats, Ness looks out of the tinted window. "Lucas... I won't pretend to know what's been on your mind lately, but I know that you're under a lotta pressure. If you ever need to talk about something, I'm always here."
Talk about something...
You like him, don't you?
No son of mine is a faggot.
I never should've let you be friends.
Lucas, I'm so happy. I'm so much happier with Paula.
"Thanks," I say sincerely, and when Ness breaks into a smile and squeezes my hand, I find that I don't mind as much. Though I probably should. His hand is kind of hot and sweaty, but I find myself gripping his hand tighter. I can't let go.
Because I've finally found someone I like, Claus.
And he likes me back.
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~oO0Oo~
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When the limo peels into the "Beverly Hills Breakfast and Burger," fans have already gathered around in growing excitement as our bodyguards clear a path to the restaurant. The moment Ness jumps out, the screams intensify. When he smiles, his teeth are bright against the morning sun.
All eyes are on him.
The entire world might as well be looking at him.
Suddenly, I can't breathe. The crowd distorts before my eyes. All I see are a sea of hands and feet, hands grabbing, eyes snapping wide open, mouths opening and closing-
Ness pops his head back in. "Hey, need a hand?" he jokes, eyes bright.
My mind clears. The restaurant. We're here to meet Ness's mom.
Breathing in, I grip onto his hand like a drowning survivor. "Don't let go."
"I don't plan to," Ness says seriously, grabbing hold of my wrists and pulling me out into the open.
The walk to the restaurant lasts an eternity. All the time, Ness stays smiling at my side, gracing the crowd with a quick autograph or two. When a waitress ushers us in and leads us to the reserved rooms, I finally regain all the feeling in my hands.
"I can't believe we're already this famous," Ness says, letting go of my hand to pour water. "By the way, your poker face is lit. I wish I could give no fucks about life."
"What are you talking about, I'm just not good with crowds," I groan.
"It didn't show. Lucky bastard. You don't have to do anything but stand there to look cool," Ness complains. "I mean, do you know how much effort it takes for me to reach that cool status? Talking. Lots of sweet-talking."
Privately, I think that Ness is downplaying both his own popularity and my social anxiety, but we're interrupted by a voice from the not-so empty booth in front of us.
"You two are so gross," Tracy says, but she's smiling wider than I've ever seen her smile.
Which means, that the person sitting next to her is...
Ness's mom isn't smiling. For the first time I've known her, her expression's terrifying, devoid of any emotion. "Lucas, I heard that you're dating my son."
"Mom-" Ness begins, but she silences him with a hard look.
Here it is. The moment of truth. I can't bring myself to meet her eyes. I'm afraid to read her thoughts. My cheek tingles from the phantom blow; I can still feel her furious fingernails rake across my skin.
Ness gives my hand an encouraging squeeze under the table. I can feel his chest rise and fall next to me.
Warm. Reassuring.
"Sorry," I manage. "We didn't mean to hide it from you-"
To my bewilderment, she and Tracy burst out laughing. "I knew I could break that pokerface," Ness's mom smirks, and a hot wave of mortification prickles up my neck.
"Geez, Mom, I told you not to scare him," Ness groans.
"All in the name of good fun, dear," his mom says, finally catching her breath, then opens her arms with a gentler voice. "Come on, Lucas, give this no-good lady a hug." Relieved, I lean over, and when she reaches across the table and wraps her arms around me, all of my insecurities melt away.
With a deep exhale, she presses me closer. "Oh, I'm so relieved it's you," Ness's mom breathes. "I'm sorry for all the horrid things I said last time you came over. Ness told me that you were already facing hardship at home, and on top of that... oh, Lucas, you must've been so scared-"
Shit my shoulders won't stop shaking and I feel my own voice slipping through the cracks. "I'm sorry-"
"Don't apologize, you've done nothing wrong." Gently gripping the sides of my shoulders, Ness's mom gives me a satisfied smile, then tucks a stray lock of hair behind my ear. "When Ness first brought you over to our place back in third grade, I always thought how lucky I was to have gained another son. So don't apologize, not when you are the greatest gift God could've given us. You will always be welcome at our home."
Her acceptance was more than I could've wished for.
My eyes start to sting.
Something nudges me in the side, and when I glance down, blinking a little rapidly because there's a feels trip stuck in my eye, Ness triumphantly beams up at me. I told you it'd work out his expression reads.
"Great, so Lucas is an angel. Nothing new," Tracy drawls, dipping her pancakes into syrup. "Ness on the other hand-"
"You shut up!" Ness starts furiously.
"If you're older, then act the part," his mom says sternly.
Successfully escaping from admonishment, Tracy breaks into a wide smirk. "Lucas, whenever Ness starts bothering you, don't be afraid to let me or my mom know-"
"I don't bother Lucas!"
"We should hear it from the source himself," Ness's mom says, her eyes shining with her son's mischief. "Well?"
"Er..." Hard-pressed by looks on all sides, I raise my hands in surrender. "Hard pass."
Ness scowls. "You dolt, I held your hand when you totally froze up in the limo."
"I have no recollection of this incident whatsoever," I say innocently.
"I, you- aUGH, you jerk! I'm the bestest boyfriend anyone can ever have-"
"And this is why he's been single for so long," Tracy comments, shaking her head. "Utterly hopeless."
"Come back when you actually get yourself a boyfriend."
"Lucas, how much did my brother pay you to-"
"I didn't PAY him to be my boyfriend, you twat!"
"Like I said, Lucas, I'm so glad you two are dating. Seriously, my brother acts like a total fuckboy sometimes, but he really is smitten with you-"
"Ness, Tracy! Language!"
"I'm not smitten!"
He's lying, Tracy mouths at me from across the table, and Ness throws another fit.
His family is noisy and loud. Meeting his mother's eyes from across the table, I secretly grin and take a bite of chocolate pancake.
I think I can get used to this.
When the meal is finished and the hefty tip is paid, Tracy leads her mother away to the restroom. Taking advantage of their absence, Ness finds the time to enact his rightful vengeance on me.
"I can't believe you sold me out," Ness grumbles. "Honestly, I don't see what my mom sees in you. Angel? Talk about giving me an aneurysm."
"It's not my fault you keep making things up-"
"I wasn't making anything up, and you know it!"
"Memory loss? Maybe your old age is catching up to you," I suggest.
"Now everyone thinks that I'm a liar, you two-faced jerk!" Easily ticked off, Ness throws himself onto me, and grinning so widely that my heart feels like it's about to burst, I struggle to avoid his headlock. He pulls me over by the neck, and when I playfully puff up my cheeks, he traps my face with his hands. He presses a little too hard though, and air ends up exploding out of my cheeks with a wet pbbllt. Ness scrunches up his forehead in complaint. "Ewww, you just spit on my face."
"Common sense, don't press on puffed cheeks," I try to pull my head free out of his arms, but when his headlock tightens around my neck, I notice his eyes light up in a mischievous gleam. "Oh no, help, I'm stuck-"
"You need to pay for the toll."
"Ness, I can't walk around like this," I laugh, awkwardly hobbling along like the hunchback of Notre Dame.
"I don't think you heard me." Ness slyly presses his forehead to mine and lowers his voice. I catch a sliver of his purple irises through his half-lidded eyes. "I said you need to pay for the toll."
His hands feel warm on my face, and I fluster. "My wallet's in my pocket-"
I should've seen that kiss coming.
Easy as that, Ness lets go. "My mom's here," he blurts out like a dazed idiot, then takes off like a sputtering rocket with a skip in its step.
What a weirdo.
But feeling the pleased flush prickle down my arms, I realize that I can't ever win against him. No matter what I do, he somehow ends up at my side as if he's always belonged there.
He really is something else, that Ness.
Once we wave his family off to their own set of bodyguards (to my chagrin, Ness starts squabbling with his sister as we leave, and his mother pinches them both in the ear for misbehaving), in no time, we're out of the car and racing each other up the stairs of the Mansion.
"This... was a bad idea," Ness groans, grabbing a stitch at his chest once we've finally hit the tenth floor suites.
I've already given up on standing, twitching over on my knees like a dying spider. "I ate too much," I wheeze.
"Well, we both know that I won."
"A likely story. I took the stairs three at a time while you were snailing your way up-"
"Not everyone has long legs, doofus," Ness retorts, staggering to grab the wall before almost colliding into three figures walking down the hallway.
Catching sight of our pitiful forms, Ike raises his eyebrows. Equally tickled silly, Roy clutches his ribs and breaks out into laughter. "Holy shit, did you two race each other up the stairs?"
"Boys," Marth scoffs.
"Come back here and say it to my face," Ness yells, but he's so out of breath that it sounds like a dying wheeze.
Marth shakes his head, turning to his companions. "I tell you, adolescence is truly a frightening beast."
"Indeed," Ike says.
"I have to side with Marth on this one. You two are terrifying," Roy says, glancing down the grand royal-red staircase in stupefied awe. "Completely crazy. Now I owe Shulk 10G for betting against his premonition..."
Talking amongst themselves, they leave us to suffer alone in the corridor.
When I recover the breath to stand, I haul my dead feet towards the mail slots. Ness follows, venting out his displeasure.
"Who even bets against Shulk's future vision?" Ness says furiously once the three Fire Emblem characters are out of earshot. "And since when did those three hang out together?"
"Beats me." I sort out my mail. Each Smasher can request mail from select addresses. Letters from home, for example, would be directly dropped off into the apartments. For Ness, our mail system helps filter out letters he wants from home and friends from the rest of the pile.
Given my obscurity, I get very little fan mail, but with my cartridge on the loose, I find myself picking at the straws. When I fumble for my card key, Ness nervously eyes my hand. "Careful, we probably got a shit ton of hatemail this week."
"It'll be okay, I don't get as much fan mail as you do," I reassure him, swiping my cardkey. With a beep, the handle swings open, and I start sorting out my mail. Some hate mail. Christmas sale ads. Requests from advertising companies once I turn of age. Fan mail offering condolences over my mom's death. As mundane as they might be, the warm sentiment's appreciated, and I press the former into my pocket. I'll bring them over to the Buddhist temple the next time I visit my mom.
"Gay chink?" Predictably worked up, Ness takes out his anger on my hatemail by tearing one of the offensive letters in half. "Why are you reading this stuff? It's all toxic shit-"
"You're one to talk. Someone sent you dick pics last week."
"This is why no one except for Sonic reads fan mail."
I toss another RoyalMania Coats 50% off! into the trash. "Just throw it away, Ness. It's not worth getting worked up over."
Sulking, Ness slams it into the trashcan.
From the looks of it, my dad hasn't sent me any mail, but I know that his silence is a solid statement. My heart sinks. I'll have to clarify things with him later, say that the shipping scandal was unfounded, and hopefully convince him that I'm not really dating my best friend. Yet.
But there's one letter that stands out from the pack. A letter wrapped in a golden envelope.
An unknown sender.
Addressed to me.
I open up the envelope. All the letters are cut and glued from various magazines:
EVERYONE'S WAITING FOR YOU, LUCAS. WAITING TO THROW ROCKS AT YOU, AND SPIT ON YOU, AND MAKE YOUR LIFE HELL.
WHO'S EVERYONE?
EVERYONE YOU LOVE.
...Where have I heard this before?
Ness grimly grabs me by the wrist. "Luke... I think that's enough for today. We checked the mail. We didn't find anything related to your cartridge-"
Suddenly the funky taste of shrooms won't leave my mouth. "The cartridge. This has to be a quote from my game."
"This came from your game?" Ness says in disbelief.
"I know I've heard this before. It has to be from my past." I grab the letter and re-read its contents as if willing myself to remember, but to my frustration, the glimmer of recognition has already faded out of reach.
Tanetane.
Tanetane Something.
"Tanetane?" Ness repeats when I bring it up. "You think a guy named Tanetane said this?"
"I don't remember."
"That's odd. TaneTane... sounds more like a place than a person." Ness frowns. "Do you think this Tanetane person sent this letter to you?"
"Who knows."
"And why would Mr. Tanetane send you letters now?"
"I don't know."
"Maybe he'll send you more letters. If he does, I hope this is the worst of it."
"This might be Tanetane's quote, but I'm sure that he's not the person behind the letter. It's the person who stole my cartridge. They're two different people." I impatiently rub my forehead. "I don't care what he sends me, I just want to remember."
"Your game's messed up," Ness says darkly.
"So is yours, to be honest." Uncertain, I lower my voice. "You don't think... Do you think Porky's behind all this?"
"It's a good guess. Porky's vengeful, but he's not stupid. He knows how to cover his tracks well." Ness turns away with a grimace. "But we shouldn't jump to conclusions. The police haven't found proof that Porky was behind the SkyTrain, so he's definitely undercover. Doesn't help that the Amnesty Act protects him-"
"The Amnesty Act?" I echo.
"Right, you started Brawl when the bill was passed." Ness sheepishly rubs the back of his neck. "Smash City is the City of Second Chances. That means anyone holding criminal records before Subspace is given a fresh pass. Their previous criminal history is erased. That's why you see Eggman loitering in the front gates every morning. Haven't you noticed him? He's even outside right now."
We drop all conversation, and ah yes, I vaguely hear it. The sound of a triumphant middle-aged man crowing at the top of his lungs like a fire siren. Carried by the wind, a faint cry of, Aha! Finally, after all my years of trying, I've found Sonic the Hedgehog! travels across the Mansion, and from the window, we watch in amusement as a distraught Eggman demands re-entry when security turns him away.
"Has he ever figured out that the shouting might've given him away," I note.
"Course he does. Sonic thinks that Eggman's a nuisance, but they fight more like frenemies than rivals. Unfortunately for us, Pokey holds a nasty grudge." Ness's eyes turn bitter. "I don't understand how he's aged so much. But I'm not surprised. Porky might have been a victim of fate, but he's always ended up making the wrong choices until the very end."
Sensing his disquiet, I nudge him in the side for encouragement.
It seems to do the trick. Ness catches my eye, and breaks into a smile. "But I'd like to think that if he was anything like you, then he would've turned out all right."
"I don't think it's fair to compare him to anyone. I didn't have much, but I grew up with good parents."
"Now you're being modest."
"I made choices that could've ruined my life, but I was lucky to have met you," I say softly, beeping us into our apartment. "Porky didn't know better. Abusers tend to be children who were abused."
"Never thought I'd see the day you'd be sympathetic towards my archnemesis."
"You just brought up a fair point."
"Bringing up fair points is your job," he says, and the minute I latch the door shut, Ness suddenly wraps his arms around me and buries his face into my back.
I glance down at him in surprise. "What gives-?"
"Can I say something selfish? Even if things don't work out... I just wanted you to know..." His entire body starts shaking. "I love you. I love you so much. I'm sorry I lied, and I promise I won't do it again. We'll figure things out. Together. You don't have to tell your dad anything until you're ready, but just... don't leave me."
I quietly loosen his fingers. "Don't cry, Ness."
"I love you."
"I know."
And when he grabs me over by the face to kiss me, I don't resist.
.
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~oO0Oo~
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.
After another shower and change into formal wear, Ness doesn't bring the matter back up. Acting as if nothing had happened, he cheerfully waves me goodbye before heading off to his prep team for a makeover. I smile. Knowing how long it takes to do my hair, I'll see him later tonight.
As bubbly as bubble bath, Phosphora whips out a hand mirror. "All done! Here you go, gorgeous," she sings. Murmuring a thanks, I gingerly set the mirror aside. If vampires are allergic to garlic, then mirrors are mine.
This act doesn't go unnoticed by the deity. "Self-conscious? I don't blame you. No one can beat Pit's attractive face," she sighs dreamily. "I'm sure you've noticed it by now."
"Can't say I have."
"That's because you earthly morons lack taste. I mean, Ness? Over Pit? Really? If that's who you were going to be gay for, you were better off single." Phosphora taps her chin in thought. "Though I can see why you chose him. Ness is one of the Original Twelve, isn't he? I bet he's totally loaded."
I roll my eyes. "Oh you've caught me. Fame and riches. What I truly desire from life."
"I know! I swear, it's all girls my age ever think about. Stupid cunts." Phosphora darts around. She's stuck in a punk rock phase; her entire left half is tattooed with blue-yellow lightning bolts. "I mean, all guys ever think about are boobs and butts-"
"I'm sure we manage to think of other things on the side," I say wryly.
"You're no fun," she sniffs. "I can never get under your skin. You and... what's-his-face? Red. He just sits there and says nothing. Most boys would've been seething in rage by now! Well, except for Pit. He's such a sweetheart."
"Pit works for Palutena," I smirk.
As expected, this gets on her nerves. "Palutena's a cow," Phosphora shrieks, slamming down her hand mirror. "She's so old and fat and ugly!"
"Phosphora!" Palutena says indignantly, her heels clicking over from her prep station. Her green hair is glistening with freshly-applied gel.
"Yeah, I called you a cow. What are you gonna do about it," Phosphora snickers.
"Wiser deities than you have been banned from the skies for foul language-"
"You are not welcome here! Now Moo-ve along, Palutena," she sings, flapping her hands away.
This doesn't bode too well for Phosphora. After given a stern lecture by Palutena who tells the teenage deity off for her behavior, Phosphora sulks at my side. "You're the worst. You knew she was in the stall next to us, didn't you?"
"I had no idea," I say innocently.
"You're lucky I kind of like you." Hearing another voice echo across the atrium, she looks up into the mirror then shrieks, almost dropping her comb in panic. "It's Pit! Here," she says quickly, thrusting the hand mirror into my hands and releasing her hair from a spiky ponytail. "How do I look?"
"How am I supposed to know. You're the makeover artist."
"And you're supposed to be gay," she retorts, impatiently snatching the mirror back and pushing me out of my chair. "Oh, nevermind. Now if anyone asks you who did your make up, give them my business card. Pit dearest," she calls out, waving her hands. "Yoohoo, over here!"
The afternoon passes in a blur. Captain of the Mansion's SWAT team, Chrom barks out orders to station guards at all entrances, his winter cape billowing behind his every demand. Thinly grasping a metal detector, Tingle clears the receptionist desk for itineraries.
I end up helping the other Smashers set up dining tables in the Main Atrium. Wherever I look, red ribbons lavishly spell Merry Christmas in wide cursive loops. Under the endless ceiling of chandeliers, porcelain dishes and silver cutlery glitter around each tabletop. In the center of the room, a fresh pine tree twinkles, showing off its dress of colorful baubles and glowing fairy lights. When I see Master Hand float past with the Original Twelve across stage, lecturing them on their individual speeches, Ness catches my eye with a grin. Flustering, I turn away, almost knocking over a wine glass.
On every annual Christmas Dinner, Master Hand lowers security to allow sponsors to enter Smash Mansion. This means wards that had been in place are stripped for a few hours. While no one outside the mansion is notified of these changes, Master Hand is always testy of lowering the barrier to strangers.
His caution is well-received. Nothing has ever happened over the past few years, and no one is stupid enough to try.
Even with Porky on the loose, I can't help but feel at ease.
When the final preparations have been made, Master Hand returns with the Original Twelve in tow. He's donned in a silk glove topped with a tiny Santa hat on his pinky for the fancy occasion, and beside him in identical wear, his brother twitches erratically.
"Smashers, the evening is late, and the night is early. We have toiled through another year of hard work, yet I find myself dragging you away from family and friends on this Christmas night. Leave a warm impression on our guests. Treat our sponsors kindly. We are villains, heroes, anyone and anything in-between. Smash City is the City of Second Chances, a city of love, and we must embrace those values to heart..." His unseen eyes linger on Ness. "Above all, enjoy the festivities. You are the stars of tonight's show. Merry Christmas to you all!"
His words are met with warm-hearted approval.
Suddenly his brother interrupts the applause with a shriek, "bLOOdY HEll, bROTher! WHeN wiLL YoU sTOP sUGARcOatiNg THe TRuTH WiTH yOUr HAlf-WIttED NoNSEnsE?" Pointing at the elegant pitchers of lemon water on each table, he breaks into a hysterical cackle. "wHEre tHe hECk iS tHe WiNe? LEt'S aLL GeT wAStED-!"
In an amusing fit of mortification, Master Hand drags his brother off the stage, no doubt to admonish him on proper manners, and a ripple of laughter travels across the crowd.
Then Tingle rings the bell for guests to enter, and when the jazzy symphony of trumpets and piano softly plays in the background, we disperse to find our assigned seats in the sea of white tablecloths. Two Smashers per table. Nervously, I replace the card labeled Lucas on my seat and glance at the twelve empty chairs on stage.
Already chattering away with a smile, Ness shakes an old man's hand in welcome, leading him through the doors. Any trace of messy hair is gone with his tattered baseball cap. His hair shining under the lights, Ness looks unusually well-groomed for the occasion.
Awkwardly tugging on my collar, I make myself busy with the itinerary. Master Hand's introductory speech. Dinner and Q&A with the Twelve. The Christmas Dance. I can't rely on Ness's social skills to save the day. He'll be stuck with the rest of the Twelve all throughout dinner.
I'll just have to survive until the dance.
"Man, Lucas, I keep bumping into you," Popo says cheerfully, taking his seat next to me, and I almost jump out of my skin.
"I thought Red-"
"I stole his seat. He wasn't too thrilled about the change, but I like the refreshments on this table better," Popo winks, already pouring himself a glass of Italian white wine. "Hey, if anyone asks, I'm drinking water."
I'm doomed.
As if catching something from the corner of his eyes, Popo grins and sends a flirty wave towards the stage.
I glance over. All of the Twelve are still occupied with greeting their guests. "Do you recognize someone?"
"Nah, just repaying a favor for an old friend." Popo slaps me in the back. "You look so serious. Cheer up! I won't get you drunk."
At this point, a breathtaking blonde in a sparkling red Jessica Rabbit dress makes her way to our table. The sleeveless garment swishes around her heels like a mermaid's tail. "Hello, boys. What a beautiful Christmas evening," she says throatily, a thick french accent on her voice.
Instantly, Popo leaps out of his seat. "Certainly, Madame Jeanne. Allow me to show you your seat."
Madame Jeanne breaks into a wide smile. "Charming as always, Popo."
"Only for you, Madame."
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Kiss up.
"You are Lucas?" Madame Jeanne asks when I shake her elegant gloved hands and answer in positive. "Bayonetta has spoken very highly of you."
"Er... she has?"
"Oh yes. She says that you are very intelligent."
Taken aback, I feel the back of my neck burn. My face probably looks ridiculously mortified, because Popo is busy stifling a laugh into his arm. "I-I'm flattered," I stammer.
"Ah, speak of the devil! I see Bayonetta herself. Stay strong in hard times, my dear," Madame Jeanne says affectionately. She kisses me twice on each cheek, then waves me adieu, leaving me stunned in place.
"I'm telling Ness."
I groan. "Don't."
"Yeah well, if you don't mind me, I'm going to go and greet all the ladies before they're all taken," Popo teases, cheekily blowing me a joking kiss. "Adieu, Lucas!"
Shaking my head, I return to greeting and seating sponsors. Thankfully, no one tries to kiss me, platonically or otherwise, and by the time it's all over, I wade through the sea of tables to my seat. It's easy to spot my place, because I quickly catch the tell-tale chestnut color of Popo's hair, and when I seat myself between him and an old gray-haired man with tinted blue skin, the man suddenly latches onto my wrist.
"Lucas," he wheezes.
It's impossible not to recognize the aged face in front of me.
My own face closes up. "Porky Minch."
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~oO0Oo~
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A voice interrupts our intense stare-down. "Man, I'm hungry," Popo complains loudly, grabbing Porky's glass. "Mr. Minch, would you like some wine?"
Porky lets go. "Don't mind if I do," he wheezes.
I grip my hand and will myself to stop shaking. "What are you doing here?"
"That's Master Porky to you. Remember, I'm a sponsor now." His gloating smile widens. "Lucas, I have both money and power. For someone who has neither, I expect you to know your place."
The appetizers roll out.
"So Porky, what have you been up to after Subspace?" Popo picks up his cranberry crostini. He's purposely perputuating a casual air. "I've heard that you've been relatively successful in the business world."
"After Subspace? I rebuilt my funds. My father was incompetent, so I took over the family business." Porky gives into an unpleasant laugh that sounds more like a wheeze. "But really, I'm still a child at heart. I love to play with my toys."
"True. You do own a toy factory," Popo agrees.
"I'm an avid collector. A huge Earthbound fan."
Underneath the table cloth, his hand rests on my thigh. Ignoring him, I try to shake it off, but when his hand crawls up too close for comfort, I'm forced to stop. "Can I help you," I ask pointedly.
"I don't think Lucas likes me very much."
Still smiling, Popo leans over. "That's probably because your hand's heading a bit south," he says, and Porky removes his hand.
"My bad," Porky wheezes. "I thought I dropped my napkin."
"No ill will intended, I'm sure," Popo says cheerfully, but this time, there's a hidden warning under his tone. "Ah, and Mr. Nook, I hear you own a real estate business! Man, I feel like you could tell us some stories about the Villager-"
The appetizers are replaced with main courses. Lamb Salad with Fregola. Broiled Lobster Tail with Butter.
Porky's smart not to pull the same trick twice, but suddenly sick to my stomach, I leave my plate uneaten.
It's easy to forget about the dark shade that exists under the umbrella of fame.
Instead, I pay attention to the Q&A session overhead. It's a struggle to keep my voice calm, but somehow, I manage to engage in passable conversation with the other sponsors at our table. Though when a sponsor asks Ness what is your greatest weakness? and he sheepishly responds food, it makes me feel a bit better.
Concluding dessert with a mouthwatering assortment of fruit tarts, Master Hand brings the dinner to a close with a few choice words. When he snaps his fingers, all the tables and chairs scoot themselves out of the atrium. Magical snow softly falls from the ceiling with the cooing of Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas Is You, and a waiting line of servers bustle into the Ballroom dance floor with refreshments in hand.
"Finally, the fun stuff." Craning his neck over the crowd, Popo straightens his tie. He must have had more than a bit to drink, because his balance has turned sloppy. "Ooh, I think I see a real eye-catcher. Hope she doesn't have a boyfriend-"
I find myself cracking a smile. "Go for it."
"Thanks, man. You know I will." As Popo disappears through the crowd, I see that Ness has already jumped off the stage, no doubt fed up with formalities.
"Don't bother, I have eyes in the back of my head," I deadpan when I sense Porky reaching for my shoulder.
"I heard your father got sick," Porky wheezes unpleasantly, dropping his grubby hand to pick at the suit around his portly belly. "Pneumonia, was it? Ahaha. My condolences. He must work hard to rid your family of debt. Unfortunately for your daddy, he's one thousand dollars short this month."
My blood runs cold. "How did you know."
Porky wheezes with laughter. "Like father, like son. You two are stupid to the core. Your father signed a contract with me under the Minch name. He owes me over 100k." Catching my stricken expression, Pokey wheezes harder. "Your father didn't tell you? I can see why he never let you come along to our consultant meetings. What an allmighty idiot."
One thousand dollars.
My mouth turns dry. I'm not sure that I have the money.
"You hiked up our interest. You're a loan shark," I say bitterly.
"One grand. Cough it up."
"I don't have one grand."
"You don't have one grand," Porky repeats with a wheeze. "Then you don't have much of a choice, do you? Sell yourself."
My jaw tightens. "Give us another month."
"Everyone does sexual favors at some point in their celebrity career. You're no exception. Sell yourself for a night, and I'll let your family go."
"Give us another month."
"Awfully persistent, are you? Everyone's waiting for you, Lucas. Waiting to throw rocks at you, and spit on you, and make your life hell."
"You stole my cartridge."
"You have no idea how much you owe me. You toppled my reign. You stole Ness away from me. But with my eternal life, I will see the world through to its end. Until everyone who won't like me is gone," Porky wheezes. His small piggy eyes burn with hatred. "Lucas, you might have messed my life up the first time round, but you're at my mercy now. I own your past and your future. Give me one grand, or I'll send my debtors after your father."
I stare him down. "If you send anyone after my dad, I'll make sure you live the rest of your life behind bars."
"Of course you will," Porky wheezes, unfazed. "Isn't it funny? Isn't it pathetic? I can't believe you actually forgot about your own past-"
"Give us another month-"
"Lucas... you killed your own brother."
Author's Note:
To make the Pokey/Porky distinction clear:
"Pokey" is the name I choose to dub him during the events of Earthbound, and "Porky" is the name I choose to dub him during the events of Mother 3. Apt, for a kid tyrant. As someone who's written Porky in a sympathetic light before, Porky's definitely more twisted in this fic.
*According to An Open Secret, a documentary that repeatedly gets banned from Youtube and shoved under the rug, pedophilia is considered "the number-one problem in Hollywood." This will become more relevant as this fic continues to explore darker themes.