Fall: Part Two
Kat glanced up at the clock overhead and nodded to herself. Still a couple of minutes before she had to get to class - and she hitched up her legs right at the last second as a rush of tulle scampered by, dipping a hand into her backpack to grab the book Jax had dropped into her locker earlier that day. It wasn't entirely a surprise, but seeing as he'd always purposely avoided taking her mom's American Lit class, for reasons she still couldn't get out of him… the choice was still a tiny bit out of left field. But then again, most of his reading choices usually were, and she still couldn't quite wrap her head around the time she'd found Love in the Time of Cholera sitting in her locker either.
But since she had a few moments to spare, she flipped open to where she'd left off in study hall, her focus immediately narrowing in on the passage he'd underlined before she even read the first line on the page. It sat a few paragraphs towards the middle, front and center, and her lips curled, her heart pinched, and her stomach flip flopped.
" He knew that when he kissed this girl, and forever wed his unutterable visions to her perishable breath, his mind would never romp again like the mind of God. So he waited, listening for a moment longer to the tuning-fork that had been struck upon a star. Then he kissed her. At his lips' touch she blossomed for him like a flower and the incarnation was complete."
There were no chicken scratches next to it though - unlike the page before it that he'd marked up left and right. Just some lines underneath the words to draw her attention to them. If she hesitated too long, she knew exactly what would happen next. She'd close her eyes and flickers of that awful 12th birthday party would flash through her mind. The one that had been ruined by the douchey new kid, the one that, five years later, she still hadn't completely shaken. Somehow, she'd gotten a reputation as the girl that would punch someone in the face if they kissed her without her permission.
Everyone should punch someone in the face that kissed them without their permission.
That was just facts.
But the kids at school were stupid, anyway, and fixated on the dumbest things. Whatever. Let them be dumb and stupid and idiots.
After that party, though, things with Jax had never been quite the same. For a moment there, it seemed like they were right on the brink of something… new. Something special. Something different. And then, in an instant, one stupid mistake had wiped the slate clean and reset something she wasn't so sure she'd wanted to reset.
Pushing that aside for now, she zeroed in on that passage he'd underlined again. Maybe he'd just liked it? Between the imagery and the flowery language, it was pretty, and given she'd read all the books he'd read in the last seven years too, it really did seem like the exact kind of writing that would draw him in.
"Kat," her teacher's voice rang out. "Are you gonna sit there all day or are you gonna get in here and help me?"
Her head shot up from the book, eyes wide like she'd been caught red-handed, and she scrambled up, tossing Gatsby in her backpack for the time being and making a beeline for the main studio.
"Sorry, Aunt Gemma!" Kat pushed out breathlessly as she hurried inside, where there was already a line of pint-sized ballerinas prepped and ready for their class. "I was just -"
"Hey, you know you can always do your homework here, but when we've got class, we've got class."
"I know, I know."
No use in admitting that homework hadn't actually been distracting her, and she jumped to the front of the room, right next to her teacher and sometime boss, and joined in to lead the beginner's class in warm-ups. Gemma winked at her from her position at the front, and then dipped back down into a deep plie, stretching her arms up overhead to demonstrate the proper form for the little girls in the studio.
Class came and went, and then they had one more ballet beginner's class before Kat had the floor all to herself to finally get some real practice in today. And with the hardwood floor underneath her, everything just faded away - any pressure, any worry, any distraction, until all that was left was the way her muscles bound and moved together as one, digging deep for the kind of strength that still didn't make much sense to her. She barely breached past five foot tall, but somehow, her body knew what to do - knew what it needed to do, always pulling through for her, always pushing a little bit farther than she thought it could go. Which meant she could keep pushing and pushing until she'd finally perfected each move.
Her body would come through.
And then she'd just do it again and again until the movements imprinted on her muscles forever.
That was the goal, at least.
Time didn't have much space in this studio as her toes fluttered around the hardwood - and it wasn't until the door swung open that Kat actually focused on something other than the movements pulsing through her muscles. Her eyes flicked away from the mirrors, her heart bounced into her throat, and her movements stuttered, but only for a second.
Jax breezed through the door, tucking some blonde surfer-boy hair behind his ear, and he pulled at the lapels of his Teller Motors work shirt - whether it was just habit or nerves, she couldn't really tell. But when he tipped his chin to her in greeting and when his mouth quirked up into a crooked smile, her heart bounced one more time.
So she reacted the only way she knew how - a crinkled nose, an eye roll, and then back to business.
He headed right for the office, even though she could still feel his eyes on her - or maybe her mind was just playing tricks on her anyway - but she just drilled into her form, moving from first position, to second, and to fourth, and then back to first again as if her muscles hadn't already memorized every twitch and flinch. She gripped the barre a little bit tighter when Jax disappeared inside Gemma's office, if only because she knew he'd stay there until she was finished and ready to close up for the night.
Sometimes, she could've sworn he watched her from his vantage point, but then again - it was probably just her eyes playing tricks on her. Every time she glanced at the office window, he was always elsewhere, either with his nose buried in a book or helping his mom with something in the office.
Good.
She didn't want him to watch her anyway .
Something was up his butt tonight.
He'd been off since she saw him after homeroom, stewing and moody and - whatever. If he didn't know by now that he couldn't and shouldn't let the asshole known as Billy Morrow get to him then that was his problem.
Time breezed by, and then that tell-tale motorcycle engine blasted down the street before Kat had a chance to even realize what time it was. But it was Friday, and the club prez had to scoop up his wife before they headed to the clubhouse for the night. The man himself sauntered through the studio's main entrance, not unlike his firstborn son about an hour ago - and that was it. Always primed and ready to answer her siren call, Gemma flew out of the office, leotard, tights, and all, and tossed her purse over her shoulder as she hustled to meet her husband in the middle.
"There she is," JT murmured, holding his arms out wide when he stopped on the hardwood and waited for Gemma to wrap her arms around his neck. He buried his face in her neck, closing his eyes like he was breathing her in, like the time they'd spent apart during the day had just been excruciating.
Kat couldn't tear her eyes away. It wasn't like she hadn't seen her Uncle John and Aunt Gemma all over each other before - or her parents for that matter - but the way JT loved her, the way he looked at her, like she hung the moon and the stars and everything in between, who could look away from that?
That was love in its most purest form. White-hot, unconditional, no-holds-barred love.
She was absolutely sure that if he needed to, or if Gemma asked, JT would take a bullet or put a bullet in someone for her without a second thought. That's not to say her dad wouldn't do the same for her mom - she knew that - but there was something about the way JT's entire world revolved around her, the intense way he followed her every move… it might be creepy if Kat also wasn't 100 percent sure Gemma loved every second of it. Or that Gemma and JT were also hot and heavy between the sheets every night, and probably most mornings too… as much as thinking about that was something she never wanted to do again.
But to be touched like that…to be looked at like that…
JT broke the spell when he tipped his chin to her, with one arm wrapped around his wife's shoulders and the other waving to his son, who still hadn't ventured out onto the floor.
"Oh, hey, Kat!" Gemma called out to her before gesturing with her head toward the office. "I printed off those applications we talked about. They're on my desk if you wanna take a look."
"Oh, right. Thanks, Aunt Gemma," she waved.
"You kids have fun tonight," Gemma winked. "Don't stay at the barre too much longer, alright? You gotta take a break every once and a while too."
After JT grinned and waved one more time - both of them looking like they were up to no good - the adults vacated the premises for the night to head to the clubhouse, where her parents would probably meet up with them later. And despite the fact that she kinda did want to stay at the barre a little bit longer, and instinctively knew Jax would wait patiently in the office for as long as she needed him to, the Point was waiting, whatever tonight would bring.
Might as well call it quits so they could get moving.
When she pushed the office door open and moved inside, Jax barely moved, his nose still buried in the paperback copy of The Perks of Being a Wallflower that she'd dropped into his locker just a few days ago. But she also didn't miss the way his eyes flicked up from the book and burned into her as she plopped down in Gemma's chair to look over the paperwork she'd left there. Her whole body tingled - being so close but still so far, alone in this space together.
"You still thinkin' NYU?"
Kat glanced up from Gemma's desk and found a pair of shimmering ocean blue eyes staring back at her. But other than that, he wasn't giving her much else.
"I don't know," she shrugged, suddenly feeling a little hot in this office too. "That's what my parents are definitely thinking."
And because they were more or less footing the bill, she had to admit they did have a little say - and if she was going to go to school across the country, apparently, having an actual college degree, even if it was in dance, was just as important as getting the training she needed. And of all the potential dance schools on her list, NYU - or more specifically, the Tisch School of the Arts - was the only one where she could get both the training she needed and the real college degree.
He nodded then, clapping the book shut and tucking it inside his work shirt pocket. "Right. I get the whole four-year-degree thing they want you to have, but what do you want?"
Kat frowned, even though she kept shuffling through the papers because she just didn't know what to do with her hands. When was the last time they'd had such a frank and honest discussion - when he'd asked her point-blank about her future, both in and out of Charming?
"I mean, I've got some options," she tried, helpless and flailing. "There's a part of me that really wants to try for the American Ballet Theatre or the New York City Ballet, but those are just strictly dance schools - even though the schools feed right into the companies. Same with the San Francisco Ballet School. If you get into one of those, you're almost guaranteed a spot in the company when you graduate, but my parents don't really get that. And… they're also really hard to get into, so there's that."
"Sure," Jax shrugged, nonchalant, still unmoved. "But so is NYU, right?"
All she could do was lift a shoulder. "They're all hard to get into."
And then there was the other thing she wasn't so sure about - the piece of this her parents were pushing for, that she couldn't help but push against.
"I don't know…" she went on, and dropped her eyes to the papers in her hands, which of course, was the first page of the Tisch application. "My parents want me to have a degree in case dancing on stage professionally doesn't work out. I'd have this fall-back where I could teach or choreograph or something along those lines - that's basically what my dad said. To my face ."
"Hmm."
"Right," Kat huffed out a laugh. "And maybe I do get it, and maybe that really is a smart choice, but…"
"But…" he trailed off there, his eyebrows lifting expectantly - but the space he held for her here was filled with honesty and patience, unlike whenever this topic came up with her parents, who just wanted her to agree.
"I want to dance," she exhaled, and his nod of acceptance only spurred her forward. "I want to be on stage, in front of an audience… that's what I want. I don't wanna settle, you know?"
His lips curved into a wistful smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I do know. And you shouldn't - settle, I mean."
"And I know I could totally do that in San Francisco too, but…" she pushed out a heavy sigh. "I think I just wanna be in New York more than anything. I mean, that's the place to be if you really wanna have a career on stage. That's where you gotta start."
"Gotta work your way up to Sugar Plum Fairy somehow, right?"
Sure, Jax was smiling now. There was even some light in his eyes and on his face too, but all that was tempered by the slump in his shoulders and the inherent heaviness blanketing the space between them.
"Right. I think we're gonna use the fall recital for my audition tape. Your mom's already got the whole performance all planned out," she smiled.
He barked out a light laugh, clearly not surprised, and he shook his head. "Of course she does."
"I mean, she kinda has to 'cuz we have to start rehearsing now just to get everything perfect before the recital. And even then I might not get in…"
All those summers spent at San Francisco workshops, all the blood, sweat, and literal tears she'd poured into every second, every movement… it still might not be enough. She might still not be enough.
Jax held her gaze for a beat longer than usual, but then he glanced down at his lap, his Adam's apple bobbing a few times in his throat… just as her lips parted - to say what, she had no idea - Jax clapped his hands on his thighs and pushed off his chair.
"Probably should start cleaning up, huh?"
"Right, right."
She tapped the application papers in her hands on the desk to even them out a little, and dropped them into a drawer, glancing up when Jax rapped his knuckles on the doorframe, shifting back to her with one hand on the frame and an achingly tender smile on his stupid handsome face.
"Hey, listen, Bratarina," Jax's mouth quirked up at the corners, his usual cocky swagger coming back in full force. "I think you need to do what you wanna do, not what Leo and Vero want you to do. If pirouettes on some fancy stage in New York at two hundred bucks a seat is what you want, then that's what you're gonna do. You can get into those dance schools in NYC 'cuz you're good enough and you know it. Don't sell yourself short, Kat."
Her lips parted, but for the life of her, she didn't know what to say. All she knew was that her heart had gotten tangled up in her throat, her insides tossed in the scatter and swept away like the dust balls on the dancefloor.
Don't sell yourself short, Kat.
Kat.
Kat.
Kat.
He clapped a hand on the doorframe again, leaning against it with a playful smirk that made her heart sing. "Just make sure you keep a ticket with my name on it at will call, a'ight?
A gasp of a laugh escaped from her throat. "What? You'd -"
"'Course," he smirked. "You really think I'm not gonna get to every show I can? That we're all not gonna make the trip every chance we get to see the hometown girl who made good? Sure, shit with the club might come up from time to time, but I'll be there. Besides, all those plane tickets from Cali to New York are gonne be fucking expensive , so the least you can do is score me a ticket. Preferably the front row, but I'll accept the second or third too."
"Alright. I guess I'll have to see what I can do," her shoulders shook with laughter, and she had to bite down on her lip just to keep it from trembling.
Why, though? Why ?
He flashed her another bright grin, clapping his hand on the doorframe one more time as he turned toward the empty studio behind him. But she couldn't let him walk away just yet, at least not without having the last word.
"Hey, Jax?"
He stopped short, mid-step, ocean blue eyes popping wide, and whipped around to face her again with his eyebrows hitched high into his forehead.
"Yeah?"
Kat pressed a soft smile to her face, suddenly a little unsure, suddenly a little bit shy, and it didn't help that her heart pinched tight in her chest and her palms felt clammy and sweaty when she clenched them into fists.
"Thanks…" she finally called out, "...for the talk. I don't know, maybe that was what I needed to hear."
Something flickered across his face - something she wasn't used to seeing and couldn't place - but it was gone just as quickly as it came.
He tipped his chin and tapped the doorframe again on his way out, murmuring over his shoulder, "Anytime, brat."
Maybe there was more she could've said to keep him there a little bit longer. She could've said she was liking Gatsby and kept the conversation going that way. Even chatting mindlessly about the Point tonight would've stalled him, but in the end, she just didn't know why she didn't want him to leave just yet.
And by the time she finally mustered up something, he'd already fallen into their easy closing time routine, half-way down the length of the dancefloor with his dust mop in hand.
Three Hours Later
Some nights, Kat didn't even know why they bothered showing up at these things. The bonfire, which had somehow grown scarily high, was literally being tended to by no one. Everyone usually played the game of let's not be the last ones to leave so they didn't have to deal with it at the end of the night - how the bonfires actually got extinguished was anyone's guess. And then there was the overwhelming, pungent odor of beer, testosterone, and shitty music pumping through the air.
Come my lady, come-come, my lady
You're my butterfly, sugar baby
It was fucking obnoxious.
The prima donna cheerleaders - minus Tessa, of course - holding court on the opposite end of the bonfire didn't really help either.
But it was only 11:00, which was still too early to ask Tommy to drive her home, because that also meant he'd be rounding up Jax and Tessa too. Opie could fend for himself.
And to make matters worse, the second the girls headed over to the keg for a refill, the band of assholes descended - always up to no good and looking to start figurative fires too. Kat just ignored the way Billy hovered behind them, feigning like he was just waiting for his turn at the keg, because she'd learned a long time ago that she was better off not giving him the attention he was fishing for.
She kept her cool, bringing her red solo cup up to her mouth as she waited for Tessa to finish refilling her own cup, and pushed out a heavy sigh when she felt a tap on her shoulder.
Jesus Christ.
Why couldn't this jackass just leave her alone?
That same finger tapped her shoulder again, but she kept her eyes forward and gulped down some more beer that tasted like dirty socks. She'd already refilled her cup three times in the last hour, and according to her DD for the evening, this was the last refill she got, so she'd better make it count. Now, a huff and a long, frustrated exhale worked its way through the noise around them, and then that same hand settled on her shoulder and shook her and shook her until she finally swung around to bat his hand off her.
"Don't touch me, Billy."
Tessa was already grumbling under her breath and standing on her tiptoes to look for Jax and Tommy, who were still on the opposite side of the bonfire with Opie and his girl of the week.
"Whoa, whoa ," Billy's hands flew up in the air, cigarette and all, and he chuckled, venturing forward just a touch to bring their faces closer together. "Maybe you've had a little too much or not enough, Kitty Kat, but either way, I think I like it."
"Fuck off," she sneered. "And don't touch me."
"Hey," he smoothed things out now as he took a long drag from his cigarette, turning his head to blow his smoke away from her face. "All I wanna do is ask you a very important question, and then I'll be outta your hair. You think you can handle that?"
"No."
But when his hands settled over her shoulders again and flipped her around to face him - despite Tessa's sharp burst of what the hell are you doing?! - Kat's eyes flew around his shoulder and found what she was looking for just as quickly. The three guys they'd left behind were on high alert now - Billy had put his hands on her again, this time with more force and urgency behind it, and Jax, in particular, looked a little bit like he was about to shoot bullets right out of his eyes. Which meant she had about two minutes to diffuse the situation before this night sunk even more downhill.
She shot both Jax and Tommy a placating, albeit forced smile and hoped that was even to convince them that everything was fine and she had this situation handled. Besides, Billy didn't scare her. She'd punch his lights out again if she had to… and with the way things were going, she just might.
When her lips parted to tell Billy off again, he beat her to the punch.
"So, Kitty Kat, I picked out this real sweet spot for us over there," he gestured beyond them, way off to the side where the trees surrounding the whole party grew thicker and darker and a little more menacing. "I can grab a blanket and maybe a pillow outta my car and then we can -"
Kat just rolled her eyes, shaking her head, and shaking off the arm Billy draped around her shoulders to pull her in closer - she'd had plenty of practice over the years.
"Like she'd go anywhere with you," Tessa chimed in as she flipped some auburn curls over her shoulder. "You're just making yourself look like a jerk, you know."
There wasn't any point in dragging this any further than it'd already gone. But when Kat and Tessa moved to step around Billy and his band of douchebags, he stepped right in front of them to block their path.
"How 'bout prom then, huh?"
Tessa barked out a laugh and didn't make any attempt to hide her contempt for this whole thing as she brought her red solo cup up to her lips. Kat, for her part, was ready to go home . She rolled her eyes at Billy, stepping forward to move around him one more time only for him to match her tit for tat.
"C'mon, Kitty. I'll even rent a limo and a hotel room for ya too - none of this backseat of my car bullshit like we got up to last night."
Despite the snickers and the howls of laughter around them, and the fact that Jax, Tommy, and Opie were headed their way - she held her ground. And she now had seconds before this whole night exploded.
"We both know it was just you and your hand last night," she threw back, and his buddies just howled again.
Billy's face pinched tight, a familiar darkness clouding over everything about this night that was supposed to be fun and carefree - forget being able to let loose when he was around. If it was his mission in life to literally ruin everything for her, he was almost succeeding.
"Aw, c'mon, Kitty Kat, don't play me like that. Why won't you let me take you to prom, huh? I heard you turned down Lukas Madison and Liam St. James today and we both know that's just 'cuz you were waitin' on me to ask you."
"I'd rather eat a pound of peanuts," she smirked, the sharp flame of victory fanning out between them when Billy stilled in front of her. "And I'm allergic to peanuts. Byeeeee."
She grabbed Tessa's forearm, yanking her away just in the nick of time before Billy swooped in again to drape an arm around her shoulders or make some other lame attempt to get some attention. At least he didn't follow them - although that probably had more to do with the solid wall of muscle Kat and Tessa had moved behind than anything else, but that was fine.
Crisis averted.
At least for now.
"What the hell was that about?" Tommy muttered now, gesturing with his red solo cup to where Billy had retreated to the other end of the bonfire.
Kat just rolled her eyes, pushing out an irritated sigh - why did they have to spend any more of their night or their time talking about that jerk? She downed half of her stale, bitter beer instead of answering, acutely aware that all eyes in their little group were still on her. When she dared a glance to her left, it was pretty much what she expected - Jax's eyes, which looked more like midnight than oceans now, studied her carefully, his cigarette glowing bright in the darkness.
"The loser asked her to prom," Tessa filled them all in, laughing at Billy's expense - just like he deserved - and although Tommy and Opie, and the two girls next to Ope, joined in, Jax remained stoic, like he had one eye on their group, and the other eye on the opposite end of the bonfire to make sure Billy stayed on his side.
"Oh yeah?" Opie chuckled as he leaned into Hannah Friedman with his arm slung around her shoulders. "And what'd you say to the poor bastard, huh, Kat?"
She just shook her head, letting the rest of her beer slide down her throat. Ugh. That was awful, but at least her head buzzed a little now and numbed everything else. Better than nothing.
"What do you think she said, Ope?" Tessa rolled her eyes at her big brother, and he just shrugged in response.
And just as Tessa was about to finish the story, Hannah decided to open her lame mouth, gesturing to her sidekick, Zoey Torres - the air-headed cheerleader always trying to cheat off Kat in geography class.
"Hey, speaking of prom," Hannah jumped in, despite the stink eye Tessa threw her way for the interruption. "So," she waved a hand around, gesturing to Opie, who couldn't have cared less, and then Jax - whose eyebrows lifted in surprise - and finally Zoey, who had all her focus right on the long-haired blonde guy in the Samcro sweatshirt, "all we gotta do is figure out where we're eating? Ope said something about maybe getting a couple rooms somewhere… then we're all set, right?"
Wait, what?
Jax was going to prom with… Zoey fucking Torres .
When the hell had that happened? She didn't even realize Jax and Zoey had exchanged more than two words. And now prom ? And they were getting a hotel room?
What ?
She swallowed her pride - ignoring how bitter it tasted on her tongue - and dropped her eyes to the grass at their feet. Her fingernails speared into her clammy palms, but that didn't help, and her stupid face felt like it might melt right off. The last thing she wanted to do was hear how the rest of this conversation played out, but there was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide… at least not without looking like some kind of freak or weirdo.
But she felt it anyway - his focus, his attention, his stare. So familiar and fused into the fabric of her entire life, there was no mistaking it.
Kat lifted her gaze and it landed on Jax whether she wanted it to or not - a reflex, a bad habit she just couldn't shake.
His dark blonde eyebrows crinkled into his forehead, like he couldn't quite get a read on her - which was great because she didn't want him to - and then, his eyes widened just a touch. Whatever he saw… she didn't want to know. Definitely didn't want him to know either.
She couldn't even hide behind her red solo cup because she'd already emptied it.
But Jax brought his cigarette back up to his mouth and took a long pull, smoke streaming from his nostrils as he studied her.
"Hey, actually, now that I think about it," Jax's gravelly voice cut through the music pumping from the speakers and the drunken chatter surrounding them, "I'm pretty sure I'm workin' late at the shop that day. Gotta pay for my Road King somehow, right?" he flashed Zoey a placating smile, despite the fact that she'd deflated like a balloon right in front of them, "Probably wouldn't get off in time, ya know? Sorry 'bout that."
Opie's lips parted, his forehead creased into a tight line, and just as he started to speak, probably to point out what most of them already knew - that Jax already had that Road King he'd been restoring with JT paid for - Tommy smacked Ope in the chest with the back of his hand to shut him up.
Everything got a little bit fuzzy then… Tommy grinned like an idiot, glancing between her and Jax like the cat that swallowed the canary, Opie just looked kinda confused, Tessa looked more than a little annoyed, and Zoey just walked away, with Hannah right on her heels.
"What the hell was that about, brother? We both know you're not workin' at the shop that weekend," Opie shook his head at Jax as he brought his red solo cup to his mouth. "I thought you said -"
"I told ya I'd think about it," Jax just shrugged, tossing his spent cherry into the bonfire before dipping into his back pocket for his cigarette pack. "I thought about it and decided I didn't wanna go with her. What else is there to say?"
"Sure, but…" Ope trailed off and turned his head to follow Hannah's retreating form. "Now I'm probably back at square one with Hannah, thanks to you."
Jax huffed out a laugh as he flicked the trigger on his lighter and brought the open flame to the cigarette between his lips - it never got old. Watching him light up a cigarette… something that, by rights, shouldn't have any kind of appeal, but with him? Jesus, she was sunk .
Sunk.
Barely had her head above water.
"Pretty sure you'll figure it out," Jax shook his head with another laugh, his cigarette glowing bright around his lips.
Opie's mouth parted to respond, but whatever he was about to say died in his throat - his attention flicking up at something over the top of Jax's head. Jax turned, right around the time Tommy muttered, " shit," under his breath, and before anyone had a chance to move, a familiar voice shot out across the grass.
"Hey, Baby Teller."
Jax tipped back the rest of his beer, crunched his cup in his hand, and then tossed it haphazardly to the ground. Not that Kat had exactly been keeping score, but she was pretty sure Jax had refilled his cup at least ten times tonight. This was not going to end well.
"Not this shit again…" Kat murmured and she threw an annoyed glance at Tessa, who just shook her head.
So much for stalling. And so much for averting that crisis too.
Jax and Billy stared at each other, the sea of people parting until there was nothing but yards of grass between them. Whatever unspoken agreement they'd come to passed between them, a silent acknowledgement, and then Billy made the first move, flicking his cigarette away, and then he tore his T-shirt over his head, tossing it haphazardly to Mason Darby just off to the side.
Some catcalls and whistles followed, and when Jax matched Billy move for move, tossing his cigarette and yanking his Samcro sweatshirt over his head, the noise crackled through the air, deafening and high on anticipation.
Jax's eyes practically spat fire, singeing everything they touched as he advanced into position, stalking closer and closer until they were just five feet apart. They circled each other with their fists cocked and ready as the crowd descended, whooping and hollering.
Well, this was just great.
What a nice pair of idiots they were - getting drunk and fighting right next to a bonfire. Fucking children…
"C'mon, Teller," Billy goaded him, crouching down into a faux-fighter stance. "You scared Uncle Leo's gonna show up and bust us or what? What are you waitin' for, huh?"
Jax flashed him a cocky smirk, his back muscles rippling as he tossed his neck from side to side, bouncing on his heels to prep.
"We don't gotta worry about Uncle Leo showin' up. You wanna know why, Morrow?" he paused there for effect, lifting his eyebrows as if he was actually waiting for an answer, and raised his fists, his family name tattooed across his forearm on full display, "'cuz the chief's hangin' out at my clubhouse right now. That's why. Now, you gonna put your money where your mouth is, or you gonna be a pussy?"
Billy gnashed his teeth, and then it was on.
He swung first - and Jax easily reared back and out of the way - then it only took a second for him to pounce. Jax's right hook shot out and a sick crunch cracking through the air when it connected square with Billy's jaw. The crowd roared, some of them just wanting to egg the guys on, others just happy to take in the show, and others too drunk to do anything but cheer and holler along with everyone else.
"Are you freaking kidding me," Kat muttered under her breath.
She threw a glare over her shoulder when someone jostled her from behind, and barely had any time to acknowledge when Tommy grabbed the person behind her and Tessa and jerked them away because two seconds later, Billy dove for Jax's knees.
Tommy yelped in surprise, and the second Jax's back hit the ground, he and Opie abandoned their posts and took off for the makeshift ring next to the bonfire. Billy's buddies jumped into action at the same time, but at least, Opie shoved Billy away before he could get another hit in, and Tommy hauled Jax up by the shoulders to yank him away from the fire just as Mason Darby grabbed Billy around the waist to get some more space between them.
"Aw, shit," someone whined behind Kat and Tessa, "I didn't even get a chance to put a bet in."
"Yeah, that one was over pretty damn quick," someone else added. "Just get your shit in early next week - I'm gonna put my money on Teller next time. That crazy motherfucker looked like he was gonna rip Morrow's head off all day at school."
Kat and Tessa exchanged a wary glance, shaking their heads because this was all just so stupid and downright pointless. Beating each other up… for what? Bragging rights? Trying to one-up and trash talk the other and putting on a dumbass display for everybody at the Point - granted, these fights usually went on a little longer, and maybe that had something to do with the fact that Billy had decided to play dirty tonight and literally threw a hit below the waist, but that didn't make it any better. That didn't make it smart. That didn't mean those two idiots were any closer to just letting it all go.
This was just stupid.
Lame and completely stupid.
And now she was pissed. And tired. And a little bit drunk. And just wanted to go home.
Their little group trailed after Tommy, who still had an iron grip on Jax's waist despite the way he struggled against his little brother's grip, and Opie opened the door to the backseat of Gemma's old Bronco so Tommy could shove Jax inside.
"Nah, bro. I'm good, I'm good. Just lemme -"
"Not a fucking chance," Tommy growled, wagging a finger just for good measure as he threw Jax's Samcro sweatshirt at him. "You got what you came here for tonight, so now you know what? You can sit in the car and cool off until the rest of us are ready to leave, you asshole ."
"Aw," Jax batted a hand at him, even as he plopped down on his back against the seat. "C'mon. Don't be such a killjoy, bro."
"Oh yeah?" Tommy shot him a devilish grin, and before Kat knew what was happening, Tommy had her by the shoulders, and then she flew face first into the backseat of the Bronco, landing with a thud right on top of a granite-solid, sweaty bare chest.
Tommy, ever the gentleman, gave her feet a gentle push to get them out of the way and then he promptly slammed the door shut. She scrambled up, panicked and drunk on both the beer she'd had and his salty musk, and she'd settled a safe distance away, jolting in her seat when some knuckles rapped on the window.
"Make sure he stays put," Tommy pointed a finger at Kat from outside the window. "He's not going anywhere without you anyway."
"What?"
"Just stay in the car with him," Tommy huffed as he tore a hand through his floppy blonde hair in frustration. "Make sure he doesn't leave."
"Alright, alright," she batted a hand at the window, shaking her head at Tessa - who, unfortunately, looked just as amused as Opie looked baffled by this whole turn of events.
"I don't know what he's so worried about," Jax mumbled from his end of the backseat, fumbling with the trigger on his lighter, a cigarette rooted between his lips. "Fuckin' fight was over anyway the second Morrow decided to be a dick and play dirty."
"Yeah, a lot of good that did you, huh?"
He cocked an eyebrow at her, challenging her to charge right ahead, but maybe it was best to change the subject now. It was also maybe best not to focus too hard on the fact that he still hadn't put his sweatshirt and T-shirt back on. But there was no point in arguing with him about Billy Morrow - like either of them really wanted to spend any time talking about that jerk anyway.
"Hey," she tipped her chin to the cigarette pack in his hand. "Can I have one of those?"
His eyebrows danced into his forehead in amusement. "And let you sneak in your house later tonight reeking of smoke? Over my dead body, Bratarina."
"Oh, come on, James. I already reek of bonfire and beer. What's the difference? Besides, even if my mom is at home in bed already, you know my dad and your dad are gonna be at the clubhouse tonight until the sun comes up."
"Hmm," he nodded, tipping his head from side to side as he mulled it over. "I guess you're right."
And then he shocked her right out of her skin. He pulled the lit cigarette from between his lips and then… held it out to her .
She blinked in surprise and then blinked again, and when he held the cigarette out to her again with a knowing smirk, what else could she do other than to slide it gingerly from his fingertips. If he felt the jolt that passed between them when their fingers brushed, he didn't show it. Maybe he didn't notice the way her fingers trembled then when she lifted that same cigarette that had just been in his mouth and wrapped her own lips around the thin paper, savoring whatever taste of him he'd left there for her - or when she tore her gaze away, looking anywhere but at his bare, sweat-beaded chest.
Maybe he didn't notice the electricity crackling through the air between them either.
But she did.
And she just didn't know what to do about it.
He studied her for a beat longer, his gaze lingering on the cigarette they'd just shared, and then he broke the spell - busying himself by yanking his T-shirt and Samcro sweatshirt back over his head.
"You know," Kat deflected, even though her heart panged a little when he adjusted the fabric down the side of his back and slipped a fresh cigarette between his teeth. "You really shouldn't give him what he wants."
"What do you mean?" Jax shrugged, still fumbling with the trigger on his lighter. "I didn't start that shit tonight - he did."
She huffed out a laugh, and because looking at him hurt right now, she cracked the window open so she could flick some ash out the side - and so there was something else to focus on, something else to do other than stare.
"You know exactly what I mean. Maybe he was the one who started it, but you were waiting for him to start it."
Jax nodded quietly, following her lead and cracking his own window open and flicking some ash through it.
"All I want is for the stupid fucker to keep his mouth shut, you know?" his voice felt heavy and tired, like he was just as done with all this as she was. "He's got no business spoutin' off the way he does."
And while it was right on the tip of her tongue to ask what exactly Billy shouldn't be spouting off about, but maybe all of that was better left unsaid. Besides, Tommy and Opie would have the same response if she asked them, too. What was the point in even going there?
"Well, all I want is for him to just leave me alone, you know?"
His eyes softened, and as he brought his cigarette back up to his lips, a ripple worked its way down his jaw, clenching tight. But for better or worse, he knew her well enough to know that they were better off changing the subject.
"Hey," he tipped his chin toward her window now, where they could see the faint outline of Tessa and Tommy's backs huddled up together by the bonfire. "Since that douchebag locked us in here, you wanna know a secret?"
"Hit me, James."
Jax huffed out a laugh, his smirk crinkling his eyes - God, the way they sparkled in the moonlight just hurt - and he leaned in conspiratorially until their shoulders were about two inches away from touching.
"Let's just say little Tom and Tess are using that treehouse for somethin' other than go fish these days."
"Oh, right. Yeah, I know."
His eyes flashed wide, that cigarette in his mouth dangling precariously in surprise. " What ? How do you - did Tessa -"
"Nah," Kat batted her free hand his way as she took another long toke from her cigarette. "Tessa cuts through my yard every single night. How do you think she gets back there without anyone seeing her? Except you , apparently."
"Holy shit, Bratarina," his eyebrows shot into his forehead. "I knew you girls kept secrets from us, but that's just diabolical."
"No, you know what's diabolical? The fact that Tessa thought she could keep something like that from me in the first place. And it's not like everyone doesn't already know - except Ope and Piney. And maybe your parents. And the only reason Ope hasn't figured it out yet is either because he's buried too deep in a new girl every week to notice or he's just willfully ignorant."
"Maybe a little bit of both," Jax chuckled.
"Maybe."
All it took was one glimpse of auburn hair flying through her backyard and Kat knew exactly what was going on. And then, of course, she'd cornered Tessa the next day the first chance she got and Tessa didn't hold back - the details weren't exactly something Kat needed to hear, but her suspicions were confirmed.
Tommy Teller and Tessa Winston were getting down and dirty in that treehouse. Every. Night.
"Do you think they've…" Kat trailed off, pinching her eyes playfully.
"What?" Jax smirked. "Fucked?"
Her shoulders shook with laughter and somewhere in the haze between them, their shoulders bumped together.
"Real classy, James."
"Whatever," he batted his free hand at her and that only bumped their shoulders together one more time. "I don't know if they've necessarily gone all the way yet, but I do know she's left underwear up there before because I've found the evidence."
"Ugh!" Kat laughed. "No… okay, that's more than I needed to know. Thanks for that."
"Hey, you asked, I answered."
"Yeah, I guess that was my own fault."
"Besides," he lifted a shoulder as he exhaled a long stream of smoke. "He's finally gonna pony up and ask her to prom. I'm pretty sure he's got all kinds of kinky plans in the works involving a hotel room and a whole lotta lube."
"Ewwww," she shuddered a little to shake all that out of her mind. And her next words tumbled out of her before she could stop them: "There's a lot of that going around then, huh? Tommy and Tessa… Ope and Hannah… you and Zoey."
He stilled for just a moment, the cigarette he was bringing to his mouth pausing in mid-air. "That was never a thing… me and her. Ope said somethin' about it, but it wasn't like it was a plan or anything. She wanted to go with me. I didn't feel the same."
"Sure."
"Hey," he huffed. "You're one to talk - with you turning good ol' Billy down flat tonight that's, what? Number five for you?"
"Didn't realize you were keeping score."
"Never said I was."
"Okay," it was her turn to huff now. "Whatever you say, James."
Jax's eyes narrowed, inventorying everything about her now from the cigarette smoke snaking out of her nostrils to the way she shifted anxiously against the seat cushion - he wasn't buying her act, not like she ever really expected to fool him in the first place.
He always seemed to be the one to know which smiles she faked and the ones she didn't.
"So what is it then?"
"What?"
"Prom," he shrugged. "Do you… just not wanna go or somethin'?"
It wasn't that simple. And it certainly wasn't that easy to explain - especially to him, to his face.
"No, I'd go… I do wanna go," Kat chewed on her bottom lip. All this anxiety and the beer she'd had earlier was not doing her any favors. Her head buzzed almost as much as her heart did. "Our whole school is filled with losers though."
And that was true. Lukas Madison, Liam St. James, Weston Hayes, Matt Sheffield, and Billy Morrow - all losers with a capital L.
"Oh yeah?" he smirked. "And what about me? Am I a loser too?"
She rolled her eyes up to the Bronco's ceiling. "Don't ask questions you already know the answer to. Of course you're a loser, James. Of course you are."
His lips curled into a sly grin and they parted once, only for him to slam them shut just as quickly. But a moment later, his husky voice filled the space between them again.
"And what if this loser asked you, huh? What would you say then?"
Wait, what?
Was it possible for someone's heart to actually stop and miss a beat? Because if it was, she was pretty sure that had just happened. Her heart had literally stopped. Hopped through a few beats before it decided to pound her chest like a drum.
"Are you…" she frowned, laughing through it because she had no other reaction she could give him. "Are you asking me to prom?"
Now, his mouth curved around his cigarette again and he tore it away so he could blow out some smoke, careful to blow it the opposite direction from her.
"You just said you wanna go," he grinned, running his tongue along his bottom lip as he spoke. "If you wanna go, I'd take you - yeah."
"Like…" her mind worked overtime now to sift through all this and make some sense of it. "A date ?"
He just lifted a shoulder. "Nobody said we gotta put a label on it, Bratarina."
Hmm. Maybe she did like the sound of that. No pressure. No expectations. Maybe that was better than the alternative. Quantifying any of this in any way felt loaded and scary, and this felt safer and easier to swallow… not saying it was a date. Not putting a label on it. No need to decide whether this was a prom invitation from one friend and next door neighbor to the other or if this was something else.
"I suppose we could go."
His eyebrows danced into his forehead again in amusement. "You suppose , huh? Well, if that's an official yes, then I guess I'll take it."
"That's fair."
"Alright," Jax chuckled, holding out his hand for her to shake. "Prom it is then."
She slipped her hand inside his much larger one and shook it with a smile. "Deal."
And just as his lips parted to respond, the driver's side door swung open and Tommy dropped into the seat, with Tessa sliding into the passenger seat next to him. Jax dropped her hand then, flashing her a quick smile before straightening out in his spot in the backseat. And then Tommy sniffed the air, his head whipped around, and his eyes popped wide when he caught sight of Kat with a cigarette in her mouth.
"Jesus Christ," he muttered under his breath. He scrubbed both hands over his face before shooting his older brother a wary glance. "I leave you two alone in here for five minutes - "
"Don't get your panties in a twist, bro. Last I checked you're not exactly the morality police," Jax laughed from the backseat, but he snatched the cigarette from between Kat's lips, took another drag from it, and then tossed it, right along with his own, out the crack in his backseat window.
"There. Happy?" he threw his little brother a smug smirk, his eyebrows lifting in challenge. "Now are you gonna get us the fuck outta here or what, DD?"
Fifteen Minutes Later
The bell chimed over their heads as they filed inside the gas station three blocks away from home - Tommy and Tessa slipped out in front, a little giddy, a little stupid, and obviously reveling in the fact that they could sort of be out in the open here, given that Opie was nowhere to be found and the only other people in this gas station right now would never say a word.
Mike, the owner, in particular, certainly knew better than to gossip about his most frequent and loyal patrons. He nodded to their little group then, waving with a friendly smile and then he covered his yawn, which was fair, considering it was well past one in the morning.
"Hey, Mike!" Kat waved back. "How's it going?"
"Oh, just fine. Looks like you kids are having a better night than me though," he smirked at them from behind the counter, tipping his chin to the other end of the gas station, where Tommy had all but backed Tessa into a corner with his mouth glued to her neck.
"Don't mind them," Jax added and threw Mike a wink just for good measure as he clapped a hand on the counter. "We'll make sure they keep it PG in here, okay?"
"I don't care so much about that just as long as everybody's clothes stay on. Although," Mike grimaced a little. "If those two sneak into the bathroom, you're the one I'm sendin' over to knock on the door."
"Trust me, nothin' would make me happier," he smirked. "No worries, Mike. We'll keep 'em in line."
"No skin off my back," Mike called after them, and he tugged a hand through his salt and pepper hair as he shifted his attention back to the paperwork on the counter.
Kat headed right for the candy aisle, humming along and bopping her shoulders to the motown classic floating out of the speakers - Jax was right on her heels, still a careful distance away, but she could still feel him, the heat radiating behind her, the faint scent of musk and cigarettes and alcohol drifting around her senses… as if her head wasn't already swimming and buzzing through everything else that had happened tonight.
He was just making it worse.
No love, love don't come easy
But I keep on waiting, anticipating
For that soft voice to talk to me at night
For some tender arms to hold me tight
She reached for a bag of Sour Patch Kids at the same time Jax crouched next to her to snatch a Kit Kat bar from the shelf, and her lips parted - the stupid things just had a mind of their own.
"So…" Kat started, maybe a little too casually, but that got his attention, just like she wanted, and his head turned, those ocean blue eyes shining with amusement - they only flicked away once, and that was only to check on Tommy and Tessa, who were too absorbed in their own gross little world of making out in a gas station at midnight to notice anything around going on around them.
"About prom."
"Yeah?" his lips curled into a crooked grin. "What about it?"
"Are you gonna wear a tux?"
Jax winced, making a little playful show out of scrubbing his free hand over his face until her bright laughter filled the candy aisle. Then he cocked an eyebrow at her, flashing her a smirk that made her thighs clench and burn.
"I guess , if I have to, I'd do the pants and the jacket or whatever. But," he wagged his finger at her teasingly. "I draw the line at the tie, Bratarina. That I won't do."
"Okay," she laughed, but her heart… it fluttered and it sang and it took flight. "I think I can live with that. But ," she wagged her finger at him, throwing his joke right back at him. "Only if you promise not to get me one of those flower things that girls wear on their wrists. You know, those corsage things?" she crinkled her nose to feign disgust, "Super lame, James."
"Not a fan of flowers, huh? A'ight," he shot her a faux-salute. "Duly noted."
"Good," she lifted her chin and waggled her eyebrows at him.
"Okay," Jax chuckled again, and his smile was so bright it lit up the whole place. "How 'bout transportation?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well," he lifted a shoulder, holding his ground in the aisle with his shoulders square with the candy shelves. "I'm sure Tommy's gonna bring out the big guns and get a limo or somethin' lame like that, so I guess we could always tag along with them. Or we could take my truck. Or … the Road King'll be all ready to go by then, so we could take my bike too, if you wanted."
The hope creeping through his eyes, and the way his lips quirked up into a soft, cautious smile - he'd go along with whatever she chose, but the choice he wanted her to make was written all over his stupid handsome face. As if there'd ever been a choice at all.
"Hmm… I guess maybe we should take your new bike then, huh?"
"Well, it's not new ," he reminded her, but by now, his eyes glimmered bright with excitement and hope and all the things they'd never said out loud. "It's restored ."
"Ah, right," she grinned back at him. " Restored . Sure. I suppose we could take your restored bike."
His smirk just widened. "Good. Glad that's settled. And don't you worry, Bratarina - I'll make sure I've got a helmet for you and everything. I don't care if it messes up your hair or whatever 'cuz if my options are getting skinned alive by the chief of police for takin' his daughter on my bike without a helmet or messin' up your hair, I think we both know what I'm gonna choose."
"Sure," she laughed. "Good to know. Guess I'm wearing my hair down then."
"Hey, whatever works."
"And," she tipped her head from side to side in thought, buoyed by the surge of warmth in her chest. "I guess that means I need to get a dress too…"
Jax cocked an eyebrow at her - but it was his eyes that almost knocked her right to the floor. The shift wasn't instantaneous. There was no magical transformation or light bulb flickering on over their heads, but that spark was still there.
"For prom?" he smirked. "Yeah. I'd say you need a dress, especially if I have to put on the pants and the jacket. I mean, leotards and tights aren't really gonna fly at the dance, ya know?"
She leaned in just a touch, but that couldn't be her fault. It wasn't fair to hold herself responsible right now when his mouth curved into the lop-sided grin, and when he tucked some wayward blonde hair behind his ear, or when he rubbed a hand over his mouth, drawing her attention right to his lips.
Absolutely not her fault.
"But other than that," Jax went on. "Anything else we need to hammer out?"
Of course, there was that little detail they hadn't discussed yet - mainly, what they planned to do after the dance, but maybe that was a different discussion for a different day.
"Hmmm, I don't know. Don't people go out to dinner or something like that before the big dance?" she smiled.
He pointed a finger at her, clicking his tongue in agreement. "Ah. That's right. I guess maybe we just follow Tommy and Tessa's lead on that one. Ope can fend for himself."
"Sure. I'm good with that."
Jax's chin dipped down in a nod, that happy smirk still playing across his lips. "Good."
"Hey!"
Jerked out of the moment, Jax's eyes shot over the top of the aisle, where Tommy lingered on the other side, looking a little flushed, a little out of breath, and a little impatient too. Like him and Tessa hadn't been the ones giggling in the corner of the gas station and wasting time and just generally being so obnoxiously cute it was sickening.
Just sickening.
"You two ready to go, or what?"
Jax shot Kat an amused smirk - he'd clearly just been thinking the same thing she was - but they took their candy selections to the counter, just like they always did. By the time Tommy pulled into the Tellers' driveway, and they slid out of the Bronco to go their separate ways, Kat was just about dead on her feet. She yawned into her shoulder, waving goodnight to Tommy and Tessa as they rounded the corner to sneak into the backyard.
" Aw ," Jax snickered from the driveway. "Have fun in the treehouse. Just make sure you clean up when you're done..."
"Fuck you," his little brother snarled from over his shoulder, but he kept his hand on Tessa's waist protectively, possessively, like he'd spent his whole life waiting for the moment he finally had the right to do it, and maybe he had.
There was something about that that made her heart ache - and twist and clench - and a moment later, she could've sworn she felt a hand that could only belong to one person ghost over the small of her back and give her a gentle nudge toward her house next door.
Probably just a figment of her imagination.
"Night, Bratarina," his voice tickled her ear. "Better sneak in while you still got the chance."
Kat huffed out a laugh and for reasons she didn't completely understand, she gave him a gentle shove right in the chest - yep, those muscles were just as rock solid as she remembered when she'd landed face first on top of them earlier tonight. But she waved goodbye anyway, not bothering with Tommy and Tessa - like they'd even notice - and she padded from one yard to the other, stopping just once to slip her shoes off ahead of time just in case her mom just happened to be home and just happened to still be awake, or worse, in the living room.
Once she had her key in the lock, Kat's focus skipped across the yard and found Jax still lingering in his driveway, his hands shoved deep in his pockets, and his lips wrapped around a sparking cigarette.
He unearthed a hand to shoot her a wave - even from this distance, the soft grin slipping up the side of his face was unmistakable. Kat smiled back, because how she could not with her heart sputtering and her nerves fraying and her legs tingling in a way that felt both foreign and familiar all at the same time.
Prom was only two weeks away.
But she couldn't wait.
She couldn't fucking wait.