AN: Here's the next installment. What was supposed to be the epilogue turned into a few more chapters and required some rewriting for continuity. Enjoy!
Ch 13
Walt's muscles were spent, but his mind was still reeling from what happened with Vic. He started stacking the wood before his arms quit working. He was just about half way through when he heard a truck. He knew by the sound it wasn't Henry's or Cady's, which left Vic or someone else. He kept at the wood piled up, not sure he was ready to face Vic. Apparently she wasn't ready to face him either, because the engine was still idling and she was still in the truck. He supposed it could've been someone else, but they would've driven up to the front of the house and got out. He continued to stack the wood, giving her time to either stay or go. He wanted to go to the truck and convince her to stay, but it was clear that she was upset and his actions this afternoon didn't help matters.
He'd left the station for the day when Sean pulled up. He said he and Vic had signed the divorce papers so Walt could have her, as if she were a piece of property. Sean also made it clear he had vacated the home and would be leaving for Australia. His parting words were 'You can have the slut. She's sloppy seconds anyway.' Disgusted by the way Sean talked about Vic, he remembered her candid words she said in the hospital…'You're different because you're a man'. She was right.
He brought his focus back to the present and heard the door of the truck open and shut. She had made up her mind. He turned toward her and decided to roll down his sleeves and button up again since it was getting cold. Unsure what to say, he defaulted to a short greeting.
"Hey…"
"Hey…"
The awkwardness was unbearable and he wondered if she felt it too. He broke eye contact to work on the snaps of his shirt, giving her time to decide what she wanted to say or do. He knew he needed a shower, but it would have to wait until this, whatever 'this' is, is resolved.
"You want a drink?"
"Water's fine."
"You want to come in or sit out on the porch?"
"Porch."
"Ok, give me a minute."
He trotted over to the side yard and picked up a round chunk of wood that should be the right height. He placed it next to the rail on the porch so she could use it to balance. He held out his hand to help her up, then followed her.
"I'll be right back."
She didn't appear to have come with a warm jacket, so he grabbed a blanket and handed it to her. He went into his room and quickly washed up a bit and changed his shirt. He put on a jacket, got her a bottle of water and his beer and joined her on the porch. She had settled on his bench and he didn't want to scare her off so he leaned on the rail near the doorway looking out at the land before him. They sipped their drinks in silence as he wondered how they could go from so comfortable with one another to completely awkward in such a short time. He didn't know what to do or say and she wasn't doing or saying anything either. He decided to explain his part and see what happens. If they can't get through this, there was little hope for them as a couple.
"Vic, I want you to know that I'm sorry about earlier."
She started to protest, but he stopped her.
"Please, just let me finish."
He stood up and turned toward her. Once she made eye contact with him, he continued.
"When I was leaving the station, Sean pulled up alongside and gave me the gist of what the status was between you two. After he pulled away, I thought I would go by and check on you in person. Maybe it wasn't my place to, but after you came to me and told me what went on after your last fight I was worried. I was about to ring the bell when you came through the door and ran into me. Next thing I know you're holding on to me for dear life and not saying anything. I've never seen you like that. I figured you were trying to get away and clear your head, so I thought I could help. When you asked if you had a choice, it occurred to me that I never asked you. When you didn't say anything else, I took you home and came back here."
He paused, trying to formulate his words so they wouldn't offend her. He got a chair and set it in front of her, so he could make eye contact.
"I wasn't trying to interfere in what you had going on and I wasn't trying to rush you into anything. I told you I can and will wait for you. I think you know by now I care for you; as a colleague, as a friend, as my partner and as more. I just wanted to make sure that you were ok after Sean said his piece to me. You leaving with me wasn't part of my plan. I just wanted you to know that."
He searched her eyes in the the dimming light and thought he saw tears in her eyes. He hated when women cried, but it's always worse when it's your own fault. His eyes followed her as she got up and sat across his lap. Tentatively, he wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
"You didn't have to apologize, but since you did I forgive you. I never thought you were taking me against will. It really was just meant to be a sarcastic comment. If I didn't want to go with you, I wouldn't have gotten in the truck. Period."
She pulled back from his embrace and looked him in the eyes, her way of telling him she was sincere. He took her injured hand in his and examined it.
"Flex…"
He smiled when she easily complied with his request. He was pleased to see her hand has healed well.
"Looks like your days of playing house mouse are over."
"They could be, but the stickler of a sheriff around here insisted on making me prove myself before going back on duty."
He chuckled at her statement and just like that the awkwardness between them vanished.
"He is a hard ass."
"You don't know the half of it!"
He wanted nothing more than to kiss her, but he wouldn't while there is so much unsettled between them.
"Tell me what happened with Sean?"
His phrasing was as a question so she knew she didn't have to go into right now if she didn't want to. She relaxed in his arms and went over all the details of what happened from the time they left the range until the night she drank her way into oblivion.
"So what happened today? You weren't in a good frame of mind when I showed up."
"I woke up with a killer headache. When it finally subsided, I started thinking about what all this means for me. For us."
He let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. She said us. He knew nothing was settled yet, but at least it was still an option in her mind.
"I said to you once that you were different than Sean because you are a man."
He nodded having recalled that same moment earlier in the day.
"You are a man. A good man. A man with morals. A man of integrity."
He nodded waiting for her to continue.
"You're the kind of man I've never been with. The guys I've dated were losers, morally compromised or both. I thought Sean was different, but he was just as bad. I've never dated someone who actually cared about supporting me or my career. Who cared about my needs or desires. Most of it was just about sex."
She took a moment and glanced out at the view.
"It occurred to me that you deserve better than what I am able to give you. Had you not shown up when you did, this whole thing may have ended before it even got started. After I told you to not make any decisions, to not shut me out and wait for me, I found myself doing just that. I'm no good for you, Walt. I haven't ever had a healthy relationship. I'm not what you deserve."
She hid herself in the crook of his neck. He could feel her tears on his skin and held her close. He didn't realize she'd had such a rough time with relationships. Her open attitude toward sex left no indication of what she'd apparently been through. He didn't buy into this idea of deserving or not deserving a person. If that were the case he certainly didn't deserve Martha.
"Vic, hey."
She looked up at him and he gently wiped her tears away.
"No more of this deserving business. Relationships aren't about what you deserve. They're about what you're willing to share with another person. Time, love, forgiveness, secrets, pieces of yourself that no one knows about. It's about passion, love, fighting and making up. Please don't use that to deny us a chance at happiness. I don't know if we'll work out. I don't know if you even want to be with me, but I want to find out. I know you're not out of your marriage yet and that's affecting your perspective. Let's just take our time and do what we're comfortable with in our own time. If that means giving you more time and space to heal, I'll do that."
Her arms encircled his neck and pulled him into her embrace. It felt so good to be in her arms and not have the uncertainty that was there before. The papers had to go through, but that she is free to choose her future when she is ready eased his mind. He didn't want to be one of those men that just took a piece on the side. Trailing his fingers through her hair, he allowed himself to enjoy her proximity. The sun had set and darkness settled around them.
"Will you come in?"
She rose up off his lap and waited for him to stand. She threaded her fingers with his and he raised them to his lips. He placed a gentle kiss on her hand, his eyes burning into hers. He would make sure she knew what it was like for a man to show her tenderness and vulnerability. He would treat her as a lady should be. The small smile that graced her lips made his heart soar.
"Of course."
"Did you want to crash here or will you be leaving later?"
"I'll bunk on your couch again if you're willing."
"Keys?"
"No need. It's in the truck bed."
"Be right back."
Venturing back out into the night, he quickly grabbed her bag and set it inside the door. He grabbed some logs for the fireplace, just in case. He came back in and found her curled up in the corner of the couch. He stacked the wood in the bin and turned to look at her. It felt different now, looking at her as woman.
"You want to sleep or stay up a while?"
"I'll stay up for a bit. I slept in late this morning."
"Good, I'm going to grab a quick shower.
She waved him off, so he went in his room and changed the sheets for her. He'd give her the room so she would have privacy and would be able to sleep in if she wanted. After he showered, he changed into more comfortable clothes and rejoined her in the living room. She was sitting in the corner looking at one of the books he had laying around. Taking advantage of her current position, he laid down along the length of the couch and put his head on her thigh. Like the last time, her fingers trailed along his scalp through his damp hair which he enjoyed.
"It's quiet here."
"Yeah. It's one of the things that we liked about the land when we were looking for places to build."
He cringed at the mention of his wife, but hoped she would understand that 20 plus years of marriage means that Martha's history was part of his.
"How long did it take you to find this place?"
"I used to roam these hills when I was a kid. It wasn't available to buy until much later. We got a decent deal on the land and I had some friends help me out with the contracting. All in all, I would say about a year from the time we first started talking about it."
"It's beautiful property. Kind of amazing to have that view everyday."
"Thanks. That's why I don't have a tv here. I don't want to take any of it for granted."
She nodded. He felt so at ease with her in this moment. None of the turmoil that had haunted him here was present at the moment.
"I should've asked before, but you don't mind me laying like this do you?"
"No. I don't mind at all."
"Good. When you're ready, you can bunk in my room. I've changed the sheets and tidied up a bit."
"You don't have to give up your room for me. I don't mind sleeping on the couch."
"Don't worry about it. Take the room, sleep as long as you like in the morning and feel free to shower if you want. I left stuff out for you. If I'm not around when you wake up, I'll be down at the barn feeding up."
"I'm not going to win this argument, am I?"
"Nope."
TBC