TWENTY-FIVE
RENESMEE
HOME
When I walk out of Arrivals with my two bags, the first person I see is the tall Quileute man holding a sign that reads WELCOME HOME NESS. I giggle and scurry over to him, throwing myself into his arms.
"Hi Seth! Thank you so much!" I gush while pulling away, so excited to finally be here.
"Welcome home Ness, how was your flight?" Seth smiles, disarming me with his straight, white teeth and sparkling obsidian eyes.
"It was good! I slept for a good bit of it, but I had this novel to keep me company too."
"Nice. Ready to go?" Seth grabs my two bags from the floor where I dropped them, leaving me with my backpack. I smile and nod at him and we turn towards the door where throngs of people are coming and going.
I take a breath and observe the environment around me, spotting no hoods, cloaks or red eyes in the vicinity. A small part of me has been paranoid for weeks now, that the Volturi's still somewhere out there lurking in the shadows.
"Everything's fine, don't worry." I look up at Seth, surprised that he could tell what was going through my mind. Maybe it was easy to read on my face, judging by the sympathetic look he's giving me. I force a smile, and duck my head, trying to hide my blush.
Seth shows me the way to the car, an old Toyota Camry he borrowed from one of his friends. On the walk over, which was littered with me stumbling over my own feet and bumping into Seth like a total, klutz, I tell him about how I told my parents I was coming to Forks for a while to sort things out with Jacob and his father, and enjoy the rest of summer. Mom was devastated to see me go to a place they cannot follow (though without Dad there to reel her in, I'm sure she would have still tried), but Dad and Rose encouraged me to have the best time and forget about everything else. It finally felt like they were trying to be supportive of my decisions.
Before I left, Dad and I went to dinner at a restaurant, alone, where he presented me with a charm bracelet with all kinds of charms: a music note for our love of piano, a book for our love of reading, a wolf for Jake, a globe for my desire to see the world, a heart for our family, and our initials. He apologized for everything that happened with Luc, and promised that he'd do better in the future to be a good dad. I reminded him that he's already the best father I could have ever hoped to have, and that his support meant the world to me. He tried to explain to me what a hard time Mom has had letting go, and assured me that she was truly sorry for what happened with Luc as well. I appreciated the sentiment, but my mother would have to prove herself to me if she wants to repair our relationship.
"Your parents are good people Ness, some of the best I know. They've made mistakes, like we all do. They've put so many people through the ringer from the time they met, but all the drama, I think it's always been out of love, and you know…this life can be scary. People do things out of fear, and I think Bella still hasn't stopped fearing for your life, and the coven's. She's always felt like it's her fault, being the forbidden human who got mixed up with vampires."
"The Volturi," I whisper, settling further into the seat of the car as Seth keeps his eyes on the highway. "Everything always leads back to them."
"Yeap. If they were never in the picture, so much would have been different. The pack wouldn't have gotten so big and your coven wouldn't have been targets for them to play with."
He has a point. And thinking about it too much gives me a headache. We stop to eat an hour into the drive, at The Olive Garden. It's one of Seth's favorite places and I have to agree that the selection is nice. I smirk at how much he eats, as it reminds me so much of Jacob.
I can't help but compare the two, they're so similar and yet also very different. Seth is quite attractive, with his baby face and dark eyes. His aura is just as genuine and sweet as I remember from my early life Forks. I feel happy and safe in his presence. These are the qualities he shares with Jake.
What I didn't expect (the first time we decided to video chat) was the shoulder-length hair and small gold hoops he wears in both ears. They add a touch of swagger to the mix, alongside the sleeve of wolves tattooed on his left arm – each wolf being a member of the pack. When one thinks about Seth Clearwater, my step-grandma's son, the bad-boy look doesn't come to mind. But seeing him in live action, being reminded of the fact that he is in fact also a very dangerous wolf, I can't deny that he wears it extremely well.
Seth might be a little brainy, funny and goofy, but he oozes masculinity in every step, a lot like Jake - just less intense than his Alpha. His scent is like sweet vanilla with an earthy, woodsy blend. It's musky and all man, yet sweet and soothing. I didn't take into consideration beforehand, how being around him face to face after talking so much recently, would feel. I've always thought of him as a former playmate and family friend, a younger brother to Jake. But now that I've experienced what the affection of a man feels like, I can understand that between us, now that I'm older, it's not the same dynamic. We're young adult friends first and foremost now, but…I'm also aware that he is attractive.
On our way out of the restaurant, Seth asks if I prefer to go shopping while we're in a bigger city where there would be a greater selection than Forks. I agree, and we head over to the super store that's just across the road. Seth places his palm on the small of my back as he opens the door for me, and I'm startled at how my body tingles under his touch.
It's odd and surprising and adrenaline pumps through me as I process the fact that I liked it. I feel safe, but also…special.
"So, what do you need?" Seth grabs the cart and is already nonchalantly pushing down the first section of baked goods and fruit. I scramble to catch up, focusing on the task at hand. I certainly don't want to overthink everything that happens while I'm in Forks.
I start to grab items, while Seth pushes the cart for me. In no time, it's full to the brim – as I insist on buying enough food for both of us. I knew from the time I decided to come back to Forks, that I wanted to spend most of it with him. We'll need to eat, and he's a wolf, I know what to expect. His protests against my spending so much money, make me think of Jacob again.
"This is part of the entire gift, Seth, don't forget. Plus, food is the way to a wolf's heart, so I don't know what you expect me to do when I plan to snatch up all of your free time over the next few weeks."
Seth smirks and shakes his head at me. "Fine, then. But I'll pay for whatever else."
"We'll see," I nudge his shoulder playfully as we stand in line to be cashed out. Even though I don't like to use my account from my family, which has an obscene amount of money in it, Dad made me promise to use it while in Forks, and save my money from working, for when I return home to Paris. Seems fair enough to me since groceries will be a big expense.
"I hope we can get it all to fit," Seth whistles when we open the boot of the car and measure it against the mountain of groceries.
I giggle and start pushing my LV travel bags to the back of the trunk. "I totally didn't think of that part! My bad!"
"Let's hope Quil's Camry is up for the haul."
We managed the impossible and packed the trunk and backseat of the car with everything, though I still kept a bag or two in the front at my feet, while my backpack warmed my lap. The ride up was slow and uncomfortable, to say the least. Thank God we have the same taste in music.
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When we arrive at the cottage in Forks three hours later, I am surprised by the intense wave of nostalgia that suddenly drowns me. I remember Zafrina and the Benjamin and the other amazing people who came to stand against the Volturi in my defense. I remember all the things I would do and learn with the members of my coven, the time I'd spend just lying in Mom and Dad's meadow of flowers, with Jacob-wolf, reading to him. I remember bug hunting and looking at nests with Seth too, playing piano with my father for hours until my hands cramped up. Mom brushing and braiding my hair before bed, answering every question formed in my overwhelmed, inquisitive little mind.
"Home," I whisper.
My entire world started right here. I feel it in my bones, the sense of belonging that I've been looking for since Jacob and I individually left my family in Spain.
"Feels good to back?" Seth asks, having walked around the car to stand in front of me.
I nod, suddenly aware that tears are running down my face. I frantically wipe them away, laughing sheepishly. "I'm just being silly," I wave nonchalantly to the mountain of man in front of me.
"Hey, it's okay to cry a little. This is a big deal for you. And I'm really glad that I could be here to share it. It's good to go with whatever emotion you feel - I'm not judging you." Seth pulls me in for a loose hug, patting my back.
I nod and sniffle, feeling a hot breeze kick up in the air. His scent blows in my face and as I inhale it deep into my body, I feel calmer. Seth reaches and I grab on to his hand like if it's a lifeline. His warmth envelopes me and the familiar comfort of a wolf gives me strength. Together we walk to the door, and I pull out the keyring my parents had given me.
It's just the way I remember, our cottage. The white on wood interior, the cozy fireplace with the plush overstuffed couches, the bookshelf, our bedrooms. I really am home.
Seth gets busy opening all the windows, and suggests I get the fridge sorted so that we can begin packing away the groceries. I try not to gawk when he pulls off his shirt and strips his jeans, to be left bareback with a pair of boardshorts on.
"Sorry to be so rude, but I hate having to wear so many clothes unless it's necessary, I'm overheating," he grins sheepishly.
"No! It's fine! Of course!" I chirp, with my voice too loud and too high, proving exactly how uncomfortable the sight of his body makes me. With Jacob it felt the same, like sometimes I'd gawk and then other times I'd be annoyed that he couldn't stay covered, because it's just too much muscle and perfection. They're so desensitized to being nude that they forget that other people aren't as free with their bodies, but I understand. I would probably be the same if my temperature ran at 105 degrees.
It makes me wonder if Leah walks around in a bikini all day. I bet she does, and I bet she has an amazing body. I've seen a couple selfies of them on Jacob's phone, so I already know she's beautiful, way more than I'd ever be.
"Hey Seth, um, do you think your sister will be okay with meeting me to chat? Alone?" I ask, having located the sanitizing wipes under the sink where I remembered them to be.
"Uh, sure, I don't see why not. I'm sure she would want to talk to you too."
"Okay, great, well, please ask her and let me know what she says then."
"Alright."
I know that just made things awkward for a moment, but, I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I haven't totally gotten over losing Jacob as a central fixture in my life, and I think it's because I don't know anything about his life apart from me and the coven. Me coming here should solve that, though. I'll get to meet the pack, visit the Reservation and meet the woman who can give my imprinter what he needs.
I make quick work of the fridge then plug it in so that it can get cold. I then start to wipe down all the counters and inside of the cupboards and pantry. Seth uncovers the furniture and vacuums the entire place, using his wolf speed to make quick work of it. He's already sneezed about five times since we opened up, so I know that's part of the motivation.
After we break for a snack of croissants, cereal and junk food, I turn my attention to the bedrooms, putting on the linens and hanging the curtains. I make up both rooms (just in case) and Seth tells me to leave the bathroom to him, so that I can focus on dinner.
We're both getting hungry for a hot meal and so I decide on spaghetti and sauce because it's the quickest thing to make. Seth offers to help chop everything up when he's done with his shower, and I stupidly blush while accepting the offer. He puts on some music on the stereo and starts to bop his head and sing along. I can't help but smile as I watch him direct the knife with ease.
Jacob doesn't enjoy cooking, neither is he very good at it. Luc loved it too, but preferred me not to help, as he took pride in cooking authentic French cuisine for me, of which I knew nothing about. With Seth, there's balance. He knows what to do as well, but lets me lead and makes me comfortable enough to express myself. It's what I've enjoyed most about talking with him daily.
I know in my head that I've become a little too attached, but I can't stop myself from needing his friendship and now, his companionship. The thought of him going home later, leaving me all alone, is kind of daunting. I've never been in this house alone before. It IS in the middle of the woods.
Seth reaches into the cupboard above my head, searching for the colander for the pasta. As he does, his bare chest brushes against my bare shoulder (I had changed into a tank top earlier). My breath hitches, and Seth freezes for a second before moving away.
I'm tingling.
I don't know if it would be wrong, in the bigger picture of things, for me to even consider being attracted to the man beside me, my grandpa's step-son...But I do know it would not be worth ruining what we have right now. I remind myself of what might have to become my new mantra: What I need is a friend. I'm not going to make him a rebound, nor am I going to replace Jake with him. If Seth and I end up having true feelings for each other, it will evolve over time, beyond the obvious physical attraction I feel between us.
"Let's watch a movie tonight, there's a couple new ones on Netflix I haven't seen yet because of school."
"Netflix and Chill?" I ask, smiling up at Seth, crinkling my nose. It's platonic, of course.
"You know how we do," he winks over at me before turning back to rinsing the pasta. I offer him a taste of the sauce with the wooden spoon, and try not to stare as he leans over and sips it off the end.
"It's perfect. You'll have to remind me which spices you used," Seth says casually as he dumps the spaghetti into a big serving bowl.
"I think I just put whatever came to my hand," I snort, pouring out the sauce into another bowl. Seth carries them over to the table.
The oven pings so I grab the mittens that Grandma Esme made during one of her bouts of redecorating the main house (she is a speed demon on the sewing machine). As I bend and lean into the oven to take out the garlic bread, Seth runs up behind me.
"Hey, let me do that, you might burn yourself," he insists, gently pulling me back from the heat.
"Seth, I'm not a child! I cook for myself all the time!" I swat him with the oven mitt, flabbergasted.
He snorts and shakes his head, grabbing the mittens from me and stuffing his big hands into them. "It's just a protector thing, okay? Just, let me do it. I heal fast."
I shake my head at his silliness, while trying not to feel touched that he could be so sweet and concerned. "Suit yourself." Jacob definitely didn't act like this in Paris, so it makes me wonder if it really is a "protector" thing rather than a "Seth" thing.
I grab the cutlery, plates and wine glasses instead, then rinse everything and carry them to the table where Seth has placed the garlic bread with some pre-packaged salad and dressing.
"This is gonna be great, I hope you weren't looking for leftovers."
I laugh at his cheekiness. "As long as I get my fill, you can have at it."
We sit down together, and I pour us each half a glass of some wine I brought with me from Paris. Seth raises his in a toast and I follow, "To friends and living your best life."
"To friends and living your best life," I giggle and clink my glass with his before taking a sip.
Seth barely sips his, before he's twirling his fork in the pasta. "Eat up Cullen, cause tomorrow we're going hiking."
"I'm ready, I can't wait to get that mountain air into my lungs."
"I hope you can keep up," Seth teases in between a bite of food.
"Of course I can, and when I get tired – which will take a VERY long time because I AM part vampire, I have a massive wolf that can carry me."
Seth snorts "We'll see, he might take pity on you, can't make any promises on his behalf though."
"Oh really? Well I'll convince him myself, no worries. I'm a good negotiator."
Seth chuckles and shakes his head at me, then takes another tentative sip of wine.
"There's beer in the fridge, you don't have to drink it if you don't like it," I remind him, hiding a smile.
"Yeah, I'll have one later. Right now, I'm enjoying the dinner you put together for us - that includes experiencing your French wine for the first and last time."
I erupt in laughter as his face wrinkles, reminding me of Jacob when he sees green peas or mushrooms anywhere near his food.
After the movie, Seth has to leave to return the car, but assures me that he'll be back later.
"You don't have to, if you wanted to do something else, it is pretty late already," is what I tell him, but I've been dreading this moment in the back of my mind all day.
The side of his mouth tugs into a semi-smile and he shakes his head. "It's your first night here, I don't want you to worry."
I release a puff of air I was holding and nod. "Okay, see you later." My nerves subside a little… enough.
After Seth goes, I take my hormone shots and vitamins, disgusted by the taste and the way they make me feel every time. I know Mom wants to help me develop fully as a human woman should at this stage in her body, but I'm not so sure I want to keep doing this. At first, I was excited to push things along and experience my first period, but the lately I'm not so sure if it's making any difference.
I turn my attention to putting my clothes the closets still have plenty of clothes in them, but they're dusty. I decide to put some to wash, mainly my outdoor gear and sweats that still fit.
By the time I'm finished all of that, I finally feel tired. After the flight, shopping, cleaning, cooking, unpacking…vampire genes really do come in handy sometimes. I curl up on the couch and put on Sex and the City (a show which I find most fascinating and educational to be honest). In no time, I find myself drifting off to sleep, calm and at peace.
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I wake up to the smell of eggs and bacon frying. I roll over, realizing that I'm in my bed and not on the couch anymore. I head to the bathroom and freshen up for the day, before going out to greet Seth.
"Morning sleepyhead! Had a good rest?" Seth asks, happily flipping bacon. Of course he's shirtless, but he wears a pair of sweatpants. I notice pillows and a blanket folded up on the couch and it warms me to know that he spent the night.
"Yeah, I did actually. I didn't even feel you move me inside." I blush at the thought of him carrying me like that. I hope I didn't do something embarrassing like talk in my sleep or worse yet – fart.
"I realized. I tried to wake you but you were out cold."
It dawns on me that last night was the first proper night's rest I've had in a long time. The only other good nights in the last few months I can think of, were when Jake was in Paris. It's something I decide is too heavy to think about at the moment.
"Thanks for making breakfast, it smells like heaven." I grab a cup of coffee and put some bagels on to toast for us, as a distraction from my thoughts.
"No problem, we need to get an early start to it, so I figured I'd just get this out of the way."
By seven in the morning, we make it to a look out point that shows us the entire waterfront of La Push, the marina, the Tribal School, and all the L-shaped houses dotting the land, which annually faces the threat of being completely covered in water.
"We're moving up to higher ground soon. Construction is finally starting on the new school and residences."
"Really?"
"Yeah, it's been in the works for years, and Sam's finally been able to secure the grant that will allow building to start. It's amazing that our community is still here really, we're barely above sea level."
"I'll bet everyone will be relieved after the move."
"Oh yeah. Honestly, we Quileute fear bad weather more than the Cold Ones. Every year the pack makes sure that the tribe is storm ready. Sam saves all leftover materials from his projects and we usually go around doing repairs. We board up windows and that kind of thing, when bad weather approaches. There's an emergency shelter not far from here. Sam expanded that a couple years back as well."
"That's great."
"Yeah, it's one of Sam's few redeeming qualities, he looks out for the tribe."
"Do people like him more than Jacob?" I ask, because I'm so curious to know the inner workings of the people I am bound to through their young Chief and Alpha.
"They know him better than Jake, I think. Sam's visible. Jake's been gone and even when you were here, he spent more time in Forks than in the community."
I bite my lip, once again faced with the guilt of being the reason why Jacob has been shirking his responsibilities here.
"I didn't mean for it to sound that way. I'm sorry," Seth apologizes, grasping me by the elbow.
I force a smile and shake my head. "I know you didn't. I just hate it."
"It wasn't your fault. He imprinted on you, not the other way around okay? So try not to blame yourself. Jake could have made different choices to avoid all of this, but he never wanted any of the responsibility. It is what it is. And it'll be fine."
"You're so certain."
"I know," Seth looks off at the view again, his face rather smug.
I scoff and genuinely smile then. "That's not cocky at all."
Seth chuckles, swatting me with his t shirt which he abandoned ten minutes into our hike. "Come on girlie, no time for brooding. I'll let you ride me down if you can't make it." Seth freezes, and it takes me a second to realize what he's said. I burst out laughing at his expression of embarrassment.
"You know what I meant, obviously, the wolf!" he stutters and gushes, gesturing widely.
I roll my eyes, "Relax Seth, of course I knew what you meant! I didn't even think anything of it til you started to freak out."
"Oh okay, great," he sighs in relief, dramatically clutching his chest.
I roll my eyes, taking the hand he suddenly holds out to me, with a shamefaced grin that meets his twinkling eyes. His warmth wraps around my hand and spreads up my arm again.
"You're trouble Seth Clearwater," I tell him, and I try not to physically react to the way touching his skin makes me feel. I keep my eyes focused on the path before us, hoping that my already flushed skin does not redden any deeper.
Seth shrugs his shoulders, looking over at me as we descend the trail together. "I'll try harder not to be."
I say nothing in response, because I'm not sure that I want him to do that.
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After the hike we stop at the diner in Forks for lunch.
"Have you talked to Jake?" Seth asks, looking up at me only briefly before focusing on his food.
"Um, I texted him to let him know I arrived safely and that all is well."
"Cool. I have to go pick them up tomorrow. His sister's coming."
"Oh really? That's nice."
"Yeah…"
"I hope you don't feel awkward now…with Jake coming back. I mean…being with me."
Seth pauses, then resumes chewing at a much slower rate, his eyes locked on mine, showing their surprise and concern. He then shakes his palm at me.
"Don't worry about me and Jake, okay? Or about what anyone thinks, for that matter. We're having our summer of fun remember?"
He smiles at me in a very encouraging way and I return the gesture, spearing another bite of steak (which really isn't as good as what I'm used to).
"I'll try."
"Good."
After we get back to the cottage, we rest and freshen up before going to see Sue and Grandpa Charlie. It overwhelms me, the amount of love my grandfather has for me; even though I can see it in his eyes how much he doesn't understand who I am. I look like his daughter and son-in-law, and yet I am their adopted child. Even to me it makes no sense, but I appreciate the fact that my parents didn't know how else to explain my existence at the time.
I also appreciate that Sue is always there to give Grandpa a reassuring nod or pat on the back when he needs it, when the questions he has for me burn the tip of his tongue. As a police officer it must be hard for him not to "get to the bottom of it." Maybe someday I'll find the courage to tell him the truth. It'll be good for the both of us, I think.
It's so not fun being someone that humans don't understand, but it's always worth it when I see them push that aside and welcome me with open arms. I didn't realize how much I missed my grandfather's love til now, and it's just one more thing that will make it harder to leave.
AN: Thanks to everyone for reviewing the last chapter. I love that you all enjoyed the baby's aversion to hummus lol. This chapter was a bit of a filler, I admit, a bit of rambling to some maybe, but you know, it was necessary to the storyline. Up next the Blacks return home and Leah and Jake reunite with their pack. Thanks for reading and stay safe!